


Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru

by gayerfurtherfaster (gayerfurtherfaster420), PrettyLittlePoutyMouth



Series: touch me and gimme that rush [3]
Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, BDSM, Bottom Jade West, Breaking Up & Making Up, Casual Sex, F/F, Light Bondage, Minor Character Death, OH AND ALSO CANNABIS, Sex Education, Sex Work, Sexual Roleplay, Spanking, TLDR these two need to sort it all out and part of that's gonna be by boning down, The Pleasure Professor (TM), These Clueless Gay Women, Top Tori Vega, and not to be a downer but, coffee snobbery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 396,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24768766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayerfurtherfaster420/pseuds/gayerfurtherfaster, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyLittlePoutyMouth/pseuds/PrettyLittlePoutyMouth
Summary: This really isn't where they expected to end up.
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Series: touch me and gimme that rush [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717927
Comments: 277
Kudos: 434





	1. Prologue, Part One: Well there's just an empty space

**Author's Note:**

> So, here we are at Part Three. Yes, this is a continuation of the “Virgin-verse” series, this is about them moving into adulthood and realizing what is and isn’t practical, what they do and don’t want for themselves, and how they go about making things work.
> 
> It’s also full of sex. Like, lots of it. Some of it’s just good old-fashioned vanilla action and some of it is kinky (and that even has a spectrum of its own). And all of the sexy and erotic and kinky play serves a narrative purpose, it’s part of everything they’re going through because they’re getting older, learning new things, expanding on what they thought they already knew and learning there’s still so much room to grow. We wanted to be real about what this kind of experience might be like while still existing within the world that we’ve created.
> 
> All of this is just to say that this story is no longer a high-school romance. It’s rated-E for explicit and there will be a lot of content that backs up that rating. 
> 
> Please move forward at your own discretion and know that your mileage may vary.
> 
> BONUS CONTENT: For an interactive map of locations in this series, check out https://tinyurl.com/gimmethatrushmap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Prologue has been broken into three parts, each around 20 pages, and will cover the span of ten years. The chapters will continue to be the size and pace of the previous part of this series.

**2015**

**August**

Tori was finally home. After a long summer of video chats and texting, her girlfriend was back, in the flesh, in Jade’s arms. She wanted to hug longer, but they were at the pick-up curb at LAX (a true testament to Jade’s love for Tori was that she’d braved the notorious traffic loop to pick her up) and there was already a security guard giving them the eye to move along.

Jade hefted Tori’s bags into her trunk before jumping back into the driver’s seat.

The two months Tori had been up in Canada shooting her series had been the longest she and Jade have ever been apart since they’d met. Even before they were ever friends (or more), they were at school or working on projects or auditioning for shows. This, though, this had been a test and, as far as Jade was concerned, they’d passed.

Maybe because they’d worked out phone sex. And maybe because that had progressed into something a little more visual via webcam. But the point was, they didn’t need that, anymore. Tonight, she’d be in bed, with Tori, and they could have _actual_ sex. Not that it was all about sex. But, you know.

The drive from the airport to Tori’s house was mostly occupied with talk about the flight and then plans for the rest of the day. Holly and David were waiting at the house with all of Tori and Jade’s friends, at least the ones who were in town. Which meant, when Jade pulled into the driveway, she turned to Tori, eyebrow raised. “Everyone’s in there,” she said.

And when Tori grabbed her by the front of her shirt and kissed her senseless, Jade knew they were on the same wavelength.

Or...she thought they were. After everyone had gone home and they were left alone in Tori’s room (Trina had finally moved out, meaning they genuinely had something resembling privacy in the Vega house), Jade noticed that Tori seemed...distracted.

“What’s up with you?” Jade asked as she shed her clothes in exchange for the tank top and shorts she’d packed in her overnight bag.

Tori didn’t answer right away. To be fair, she was brushing her teeth. “I guess...we have to talk about something.”

Jade froze. She didn’t like the sound of that, at all. “Like what?”

Tori finished at the sink and turned off the bathroom light. “I’ve been offered another series. Like an actual show, not just a short-run.”

“Jesus, Tori, you scared the chiz out of me,” Jade breathed in relief. “That’s amazing.”

“It just…” Tori was still dragging her feet about something. “It’s the same production company so…”

 _Oh._ “So...it’s still in Vancouver?” Fucking Canada. Tori nodded, looking as if she was bracing for some kind of outburst. Jade was pissed, sure, but she also was tired and just glad to see her girlfriend, in person. “I mean, okay. Yeah, that sucks. But...what is it, another few months?”

“I go back next month through December. Then...the rest is up to whether or not we get renewed for a second season.”

Okay. Shows were cancelled all the time. Not that she wanted Tori to fail, she just wanted Tori back home. Ugh, this sucked. But she also hated the pensive look on Tori’s face, the one that said she couldn’t tell what Jade was thinking. And Jade didn’t really know what to say.

Instead, she pulled Tori into bed and focused on expressing just how much she’d missed her over the summer.

**  
December**

Tori knew Jade probably wasn’t going to like it but she didn’t expect that she’d be so angry about it.

“What do you mean you’re _selling your car_?”

“Well, I don’t really need one up there. ”

She’d really hoped that this trip home could just be an escape, a way to relax and reconnect. Things had been so difficult between them during this last stretch over the fall, into winter. Jade’s school schedule didn’t mesh with Tori’s production schedule, so they were always rescheduling video chats or trying to catch each other in the rare windows they both had a few minutes to spare.

But, at best, it had been rough.

“Yeah, but you’ll need the car here when you come back…” Jade trailed off, her face hardening as Tori watched her realize what this meant. “You’re not coming back?” she asked.

“I...have more offers.”

They were in Jade’s dorm room, sitting across from each other on the bed. Up until now, they’d been kissing, maybe a little more, just trying to seek out some kind of connection. They were supposed to be watching a movie, an old horror film (of course) that Jade had discovered recently, but the closeness on the bed and the familiarity of the space led to cuddling and re-introduced the intimacy that had been missing. Tori felt like things had been going well until her phone had buzzed with a text from someone interested in buying the car...which she hadn’t yet mentioned to Jade.

Until now.

And, yeah, this was also the first she’d brought up the contract extension and the possibility to do a movie or two.

“Just when were you planning to tell me about this?” Jade asked, eyes narrowed

“Now, I guess.”

She never did see the rest of that movie. And it was the last time she ever set foot in Jade’s dorm room.

-

That Friday was the day before Christmas Eve and they’d committed to hosting a party at Tori’s for all of their friends, who all happened to be in town for once. Jade wasn’t that thrilled about it, given the news Tori had dropped on her a few days before. Originally, they were supposed to have most of December together, but Tori’s schedule had been growing, with pick-up production dates added, plus prep for her press tour to promote the show. That had left one single week for Tori to spend at home in California and that was really only because it fell right across the Christmas holiday.

Anyway, half that week was already gone and now she was hauling the “good” ice chest up from the Vega garage into the kitchen for their stash of beer and hard lemonades. By this point, Beck, Andre, and Jade were all twenty-one, Cat and Robbie didn’t drink (Cat because of her new medication and Robbie because he was just square like that, though he’d offered to drive people home so maybe he was cool for being such a nerd), and that just left Sam (Cat’s...girlfriend? Jade still wasn’t sure what they were actually calling each other) and Tori who were both still only twenty, but one had a ride home with Cat and the other was going to already be at home, anyway. David and Holly had left for a holiday overnight in Santa Barbara, so they had the house to themselves for the party.

Jade had made everyone swear they were planning to actually stay, this time. She didn’t want another New Year’s Situation where everyone left early, even though things had worked out well for her and Tori in that case. But, right now, she was so frustrated about the news Tori had dropped on her that she didn’t really want to be left alone together. She wanted to hang out, catch up, and drink until she wasn’t thinking about how much she’d miss Tori the next time she put her on a plane.

Sam and Cat arrived first, with Cat carrying a small ice chest in her hands. She immediately passed it to Jade. “Merry Christmas!” she said, cheerfully.

“Uh, what’s in here? A kidney?” Jade asked.

Cat laughed. “No, silly. Jello shots.”

“Our whole apartment smells like vodka and fruit punch,” said Sam.

Tori accepted the small cooler and placed it next to the large one Jade had just lugged up from the garage. As everyone else began to arrive, they showed up with food or liquor, and the party eventually took off. Andre had mixed together an amazing playlist that kept people dancing, when they weren’t dancing they were drinking, when they weren’t drinking or dancing they were laughing. They did jello shots together (though everyone thought the green ones were lime, but it turned out they were apple, which almost made Tori puke because of an appletini incident at their graduation party). It felt a little like old times, but boozier.

As the night moved on and Jade had a few drinks in her, she kept forgetting she was irritated with Tori, eventually deciding she didn’t care anymore about why she was mad because Tori was here, with her, leaning against Jade on the couch or up on her feet, alternating between silly and sexy dancing depending on the song that was playing. They were having fun together, something Jade had missed over the past several months. This was what she loved about Tori, her charm, her goofiness, her ability to kiss Jade senseless. Even though it was Tori’s house, they’d locked themselves in the downstairs bathroom for a makeout session. Jade was definitely drunk, happily accepting kisses on her lips and hands up her shirt. Tori was also well past tipsy, clumsy fingers groping under the fabric of Jade’s bra.

“Hey,” Jade said, her voice sounding like a deep echo in the small bathroom, filtered through the haze of jello shooters and amaretto sours.

“Hmm?” Tori was sucking at a spot on Jade’s neck. Maybe leaving a hickey.

“Tori,” Jade said, wanting Tori to look at her. She tipped Tori’s face upward with her hand.

Tori had the dumbest, drunkest lazy grin on her face. “What?”

“I love you.” Jade just needed to say it, as a reminder of why they were enduring the distance.

Tori’s eyes lit up. “I love you, too,” she said. “We should...I think we should go upstairs.”

Jade gasped, playing the part of the shocked socialite, “What about all our guests?”

“They know where things are,” Tori shrugged.

Yeah, fuck it. They didn’t need to babysit their friends. “Lead the way, hot stuff.”

“You’re hot.” Tori seemed to forget what they were doing until Jade nudged her toward the door. “Oh, yeah.”

As they ascended the stairs, Jade heard Robbie question where they were off to and then Beck’s voice saying they deserve some time alone.

“Get some!” came Sam’s voice as they rounded the corner into the hall.

In retrospect, Jade would have assumed a night of spontaneous drunk sex would be something that faded over time. Instead, even though she knew they must have been intimate a time or two after that, it was the last time that really stood out to her, maybe for no other reason than they were oblivious to the rest of the world and focused on each other.

**  
2016**

**February**

"I don't know, Tori. I'm the one who flew a thousand miles to see you and you're just _busy_?"

It echoed in Tori's head, somewhere in the back, when she was sitting in the makeup chair or waiting in her trailer to be called to set. Jade's voice; hurt, angry, upset, and disappointed. It hadn't gone well, their planned Valentine's Day meet-up. It was supposed to be something special, something they'd been looking forward to. But Tori hadn't even been able to pick Jade up from the airport, she'd had to send a car for her, which had already started the entire visit off on the wrong foot.

And when the visit abruptly ended, their relationship didn’t have any footing, at all.

**  
April**

Tori was probably the least excited about her 21st birthday than any other birthday in recent memory. It fell right in the middle of the week, which meant it was a normal, busy, long work day, and she had no interest in celebrating it with her castmates, or even the energy to if she wanted to.

The one bright spot was that her mom was coming up the following weekend to celebrate with her, keeping in the tradition of celebrating Tori’s birthday after celebrating cannabis the day of. But even that seemed more stressful than anything else. Tori was excited to see her mom, sure, but last time she’d tried to have a visitor come see her in Canada, well...Tori didn’t want to think about that.

Her mom flew in late Friday and went right to her hotel, and Tori worked late, herself, which meant they didn’t see each other until Saturday. And boy, did they have Saturday plans. Tori felt so exhausted all the time these days that it felt a little like she was being dragged around by her mom as they went for brunch, then shopped (partly so Holly could buy Tori things she needed as she really put down roots in Vancouver), saw a movie, and then eventually capped off the evening with giant frozen margaritas and Mexican food.

“Here we go! Your first legal drink. By American standards, anyway,” Holly lifted her glass to Tori, and they clinked.

“Cheers,” Tori said listlessly, trying to keep a smile on her face. She was glad her mom was there, she really was. It just felt like a bad time.

Not that Tori thought there was really a good time to have visitors, these days.

And as they ate and then worked on their giant beverages, Tori did actually start to relax a little. She and her mom were relating old family stories and laughing, her mom told her all about her birth in gruesome detail, which Tori really didn’t need to hear, but at least it gave her something else horrible to think about.

As they started on their second massive tequila-based mistake, Holly finally directly addressed the thing that was hanging over both their heads.

“How are you handling things?” Her mom looked flushed, a little glassy-eyed, but her expression was sympathetic. Tori didn’t think she’d ever seen her mom properly sloshed before. “You know, since the breakup.”

Tori cringed. She hated even hearing that word. “I’m doing alright,” she said. It was a phrase she’d had a lot of practice with during the past couple of months, as people she worked with checked in with her, or as she fielded the occasional phone calls from Andre or Cat. She didn’t really feel close enough with any of her coworkers to tell them any more than that anyway, and she didn’t want to worry her friends, but even now, faced with her mom, she realized she didn’t know what else to say to her, either. “I mean, I’m staying busy, so...I’m alright,” she said again.

Holly nodded, looking pensive, “I know it’s hard,” she said, sounding more maternal than usual, “But you’ll recover someday.”

Tori frowned, because recovery was...not even on her radar. How could it be? She was working so hard that half the time she didn’t even have the space in her brain to even think about her personal life. It wasn’t until she caught herself checking her phone during breaks, hoping to see Jade’s name on her screen, or when she was alone in her tiny studio apartment at night, reaching for her phone to text someone she knew wouldn’t answer, that Tori even had the space for her grief. But even that was subdued, because there was a part of Tori, one that she hadn’t dared to voice aloud (and wasn’t about to, even to her mom), that believed that she and Jade were going to come back from this.

She just had to get on her feet with this career, and Jade had to graduate from film school, and then there’d be nothing keeping them apart anymore. They could be together, there’d be no distance getting in the way. She could use the connections she was making through work to help Jade make her movies, she’d be a big enough name that she could take work elsewhere. They could be wherever they needed to be, together.

And maybe it was partly this optimism that was making it impossible for Tori to grieve. She was sad, she was lonely, and she absolutely missed Jade. But she was so used to missing her now, that in some ways, it didn’t feel too much different. So Tori focused on her work, and refused to let go of Jade. Because letting go would mean she’d failed.

The thoughts swirled with the icy beverage in Tori’s glass, just as murky, as unclear. She found herself asking her mom, “Have you heard from Jade, at all?” She knew Jade had definitely spent time with her family since Tori had moved to Canada.

Holly’s eyes dropped to her glass. “Not much,” she admitted, “Tiffany says she’s really focused on school right now.”

Tori nodded absently. She could make sense of that.

“You two were together a long time,” Holly commented, “And distance can really put a strain on a relationship.”

“Yeah,” Tori whispered, eyes dropping from her mother’s face. Once distance was no longer a problem, things would be okay again.

“Sometimes, things stress a long-term relationship,” Holly told her, “And you have to get creative.”

Tori frowned, “What do you mean?”

Holly took a sip of her margarita, eyes sparkling with mischief over the rim. “Well...oh, you’re old enough to hear this now.” Tori just blinked in confusion. “Listen, your father and I, well, we had a rough patch or two, when you girls were young. But eventually we figured out what we needed to stay committed to each other. Opening up our relationship was the best decision we ever made.”

“ _What_?!” Tori asked, staring at her mother in horror, “You _what_?!”

“Your father and I are swingers, and it’s made our connection so much stronger. So take it from your mother. Sometimes getting creative is necessary.”

“I don’t--I _didn’t need_ to hear that, Mom!”

“Oh, honey, we’re both adults here!” Holly laughed, “And it’s just time you know. I know we haven’t always been discreet, and I just want you to know that anything you thought you saw when you were younger was entirely consensual.”

“Again, I _don’t need to know this_!” Tori insisted, then a horrifying thought crossed her mind. “Does _Trina_ know?!”

Holly cocked her head, “No, actually, this is the first time I’ve thought about telling you girls.”

“You didn’t tell _her_ during mother/daughter margaritas for her 21st birthday?”

“We’ve never _had_ mother/daughter margaritas,” Holly explained, taking another sip and shooting Tori a side-eye, “It is _not_ pretty when Trina drinks.”

“Oh, my god,” Tori groaned, “Well, you _have_ to tell her, because I can’t carry this burden alone!”

“Oh, honey, it’s no big deal,” Holly laughed, “I really thought you’d be open-minded enough for this.”

“I _am_ open-minded, you’re just _my parents_!” Tori shouted, taking a gulp of her frozen margarita, hoping that if she finished this second one, the entire night would disappear.

“All right, I’ll tell Trina,” Holly said reluctantly, reaching to take Tori’s hand, “And really, the important thing is that you know that your father and I are happy.”

“Aaand, I’m happy for you,” Tori said, “Even though I _really didn’t need to know that_.”

The rest of the evening was a sort of fun blur, as Tori slowly relaxed again, putting the horrifying news about her mom’s sex life behind her and refusing to acknowledge it even applied to her _dad’s_.

The difficult part, once she was back home alone in her apartment, drinking water to try to stave off the hangover she thought was pretty inevitable by now, was not being able to tell anyone this distressing secret. Trina didn’t know yet.

Tori almost wanted to text Jade about it. Jade was always sympathetic to a story about terrible parenting decisions.

She got as far as opening the text app and beginning to type a message before she reconsidered. Even if Jade did reply, it wouldn’t fix anything.

Tori just needed to work harder before she could fix anything between them. She just needed more time.

She closed the app and went to bed.

**  
May**

"Nah, okay, no way. Come on," Sam said, looking around Jade's room. "I'm not letting you waste away in this tomb of a dorm room anymore." She flipped on the overhead light, the one Jade never used because it was garish and awful and she hated it, then flung open the closet to sort through Jade's clothes. "No, creepy, no, too slutty, not slutty enough, maybe," one of the garments flew out over Sam's shoulder, then a few more, until she'd assembled an outfit. It was really just jeans, a tank top, and a flannel, but it was all clean and certainly more put together than the pajama pants and sweater combo she currently wore. "When's the last time you showered?"

"This morning." Sure, Jade was sad and had been in a perpetual funk over the break-up for the last several months, but even at her lowest lows, she couldn't stand not feeling clean.

"Oh, huh. Got me beat, there." Sam thrust the clothing at her. "Get dressed."

"I don't really want to go anywhere."

"Which is exactly why I'm taking you out." When Jade didn't move from the bed, Sam sat next to her. "Look, I get it. This sucks. I've been there...maybe not quite the same way, but I know what it's like when the person you want doesn't want you back."

"Not making me feel better, Puckett."

"I'm just saying that, sometimes, you just need to get out there and let a hottie pour drinks down your throat."

"That's the big plan?" Jade liked the idea of getting a drink. Or five.

"I know this bartender, she's painfully straight, but she's hot and she always hooks me up. And it's one of those places where they have to dance on the bar."

It sounded like a gratuitous nightmare, honestly. But Sam wasn't going to leave her alone about this. "Fine. But you're buying."

"'Atta girl."

PartyHaus was, in fact, a gratuitous nightmare. Loud beats rumbled across the dance floor and you probably had to scream directly into the bartender's ear for them to hear you. It was clearly a college hangout; everyone in the place looked to be around Jade's age. That didn't particularly comfort her. There was a large bar that took up the far wall on the opposite end of the dance floor, but Sam steered Jade toward a set of steps that led up into a smaller lounge area.

This was better. It wasn't quite as loud and there were far fewer sweaty bodies. Okay, maybe score one for Sam Puckett's plan. The lounge bar had eight barstools lined up alongside it, but they were all occupied. Or, they were until Sam said something to two guys seated at the two end spots. They quickly grabbed their drinks and tripped over themselves trying to get down the steps to the main bar area.

Jade took one of the stools, the one all the way at the end, wanting to hide away as much as possible. "What'd you tell them?" she asked, knowing Sam was probably proud of whatever she'd just pulled.

"That they were looking for judges for the wet t-shirt contest."

"Gross."

"Yeah. Everyone knows they don't do that until midnight."

"Oh god, they really do that here?"

"Don't worry, I didn't sign you up for it." Sam hesitated. “Unless you want to enter. There’s a hundred bucks in it for the winner. We all know you’d probably dominate.”

“ _No_.”

“Just checking.”

There was a good-looking guy working the bar who kind of reminded Jade of Beck. She wondered what he was up to. Beck, not the bartender. The last time they'd talked, maybe a month ago, he was still doing experimental theatre in Williamsburg, on a break from hair modeling.

Sam leaned over the bar and ordered something, but Jade couldn't hear what it was. She didn't really care. Across the lounge, she watched as one of the cocktail servers, in skin-tight half-shirts, straddled a male customer and poured a tall shot into his mouth. Classy.

"Yeah, get ready, because that's what's happening," Sam said, noticing Jade's observation of the activities.

"Did you bring me here just because you want some stranger's tits in your face?" Jade asked. She knew Sam and Cat had a...flexible...relationship, so this was pretty standard.

"Aw, no one's a stranger at PartyHaus," replied Sam. Jade busied herself reading the laminated list of drinks, trying to decide just how many she might sample. She absently heard Sam say, "Oh, hey, there she is," as she waved someone over.

"Okay, I have two Down the Hatch Shooter--"

Jade heard the voice and, even with the din of the music and the general meet-market atmosphere around her, she immediately placed it.

 _Trina_. Of course she worked in a place like this.

"Sam, I hope these are both for you, because there's no way I'm getting on _her_ lap," Trina said. She had some kind of waist pack loaded with small bottles of booze and more of those tall shot glasses.

"Why not?"

"That's my sister's ex-girlfriend," Trina replied at the same time as Jade said:

"That's Tori's sister."

Sam looked from one to the other, then a look of realization fell across her face. "Oh, yeah!" She further considered something. "Huh. Well, can she at least have her drink, you know, without the show?"

"Whatever." Trina quickly mixed something together, then unceremoniously handed it to Jade.

Whatever was right. Jade quickly downed the shot, sputtering a bit at the burn of it. "What the hell is that? It's terrible."

"They're not really designed to taste great. The whole point is the presentation." Trina poured another shot, then climbed onto Sam's chair and poured it into her waiting mouth.

"Okay, I...this is really fucking weird." Jade didn't expect to have to watch Trina Vega mount her pussy-hound friend in a loud, obnoxious hell-hole.

While still straddling Sam's lap, Trina waved over the Beck-look-alike and gestured to Jade. Again, it was too hard to hear. She slid off Sam's lap and disappeared back into the crowd, probably to issue more warm, awful Down the Hatch Shooters to the public.

Not-Beck slid a small tray with seven thin shots lined up on it. They were smaller than regular shots, but it still looked like at least a couple drinks worth of alcohol.

"What's this?" Jade asked, loud enough to be heard.

"Breakup Special," the bartender called back. "A little of everything."

Well, for once, Trina had done something right. Jade offered the tray to Sam, who took two of the glasses. Jade did the same. "I honestly never thought I'd say this, but here's to Trina Vega."

They downed the drinks, one of Jade's was rum, the other, vodka. She didn't want to be flat on her ass right away, so she asked for a Jameson and Ginger, something she could sip on while she waited for Sam to play out the night.

At least Sam was fun. They played a few rounds of _Check Out That Idiot_ and, with a couple of drinks in Jade's system, she was doing pretty well at making fun of people who looked totally stupid. When she reached the bottom of her whiskey and ginger ale, she reached for one of the remaining shots on her Breakup tray.

Gin. Not such a great shooter. But Sam ended up with tequila, which Jade was glad to have dodged because even Pathetic Post Breakup Jade West knew it was a bad idea to chase the worm, especially when mixing liquors.

At some point, Sam disappeared, saying something about a dance contest, leaving Jade to camp out in her spot at the corner of the bar. That was fine, as long as they kept serving her drinks.

"You need another?" The question came from behind the bar, but it wasn't the dude from earlier. It was Trina.

"Uh, yeah," said Jade. "It's a--"

"Jameson and Ginger, I know."

"Wow, psychic bartending."

Trina swapped out the empty glass for the fresh drink. "I have my ways." She was oddly in-tune, somehow. Even the Breakup Special had been kind of a reach, because it had been over three months since Jade and Tori had officially cut things off.

"And this?" Jade indicated to the nearly empty rack of shots. "I could've been here on a date or something."

"But you're not. And, just between us, you look like shit."

Damn, Trina. "Excuse me?"

"Your face looks fine and everything," Trina clarified. Or maybe back-peddled, since she did work for tips, after all. "But...my sister must've really fucked you up." She moved down the bar to serve another customer.

Jade flicked at the thin tiny straw in her drink between sips. She was more than her breakup with Tori. She knew that. Or she tried to know it. On her good days, she funneled her energy into writing, into horror screenplays, stories about demons or serial killers where the kill-count characters were sometimes (often) thin cardboard stand-ins for people she'd hated, at some point in her life. Her dad. Her old creative writing teacher who said horror had no artistic merit. Trina. Oh, Trina Vega had made plenty of appearances under pseudonyms as the loud-mouthed, big-breasted girl who took an axe to the face or was shoved into a tank of killer tuna fish.

But, hey, maybe she'd rethink that if Trina kept the drinks coming.

Which, she did. First another one of the whiskey drinks, then Jade switched to Guinness, because it was the closest thing to coffee when she wanted beer. The night went on and Sam came and went. Jade didn't particularly care, at this point. She was too drunk to give a shit, so she just watched the people around her.

A woman around her age sidled up and stumbled against Sam's empty barstool. "Hey," she slurred. "You're really hot."

"Thanks," Jade said, dismissively.

"I'm Lisa," said the woman.

"Good for you." Jade took a long pull from her glass.

Lisa leaned against the bar. Or, really, needed it to hold her up. "Yeah, I'm...you're so hot."

Jade's eyebrows raised. "Yeah, you said that."

"I'm just...you're like, gay, right?" Lisa managed to slip even though she was standing still.

"Uh, why?"

"I think it'd be cool to have a girl go down on me," Lisa explained. "But," she leaned forward, still clutching the edge of the bar. "I could never go down on a girl. That's...it'd be weird." A stream of water shot out from behind the bar, hitting Lisa in the arm. Some of it splashed onto Jade, but the look on Lisa's shocked face was worth a little splash back. "Hey!" Lisa turned and there was Trina, looking at her, expectantly.

"Did you want to order something?"

"No, I'm--"

"Then I'm going to need you to leave the bar clear for other customers."

Lisa began to protest again, but Trina just sprayed her a second time, shooing her away. Jade, who had been dead set on being miserable while drunk, found herself smiling.

"You're a pretty good shot," Jade said, then laughed to herself because Trina was also a bartender. Heh, shots. Yeah, okay, she was starting to really feel the alcohol.

"I've had practice. Though usually it's the dudes I have to hose down." Trina pointed to the nearly, empty rack of the Breakup shots. "You done with this?"

Jade didn't want to waste any free liquor, so she pulled the final glass off the rack so Trina could clear it away and threw back the shot. Fireball whiskey. Big mistake. Partly because she was already pushing into Pretty Damn Drunk territory but mostly because it was cinnamon-flavored and cinnamon reminded her of those stupid mints she always had in high school, the same mints she and Tori always had before they'd make out and...fuck. She was drunk and now she was a _sad_ drunk.

She shoved the glass aside and took several gulps of the Guinness to wash away the taste of Tori, but then the Guinness was a lot like coffee and that made her think of Tori and her stupid cinnamon coffee she always had because it reminded her of kissing Jade. Fuck. Was everything in this bar designed to send her spiraling?

"I need, uh...something...else," she said to Trina. "Uh, Tori hates Appletinis, right?" Jade was pretty sure she knew this fact, but her head was so muddled she wondered if she was getting things backward.

Trina eyed her. "Yeah, okay. I need you to drink this, first." She set a mini-bottle of water in front of Jade.

"The fuck is this for?" Jade asked.

"It's so you don't puke all over my bar," Trina said, watching her. "Drink it. And yes, she's hated them ever since she had that killer hangover after graduation."

Jade rolled her eyes, but she really wanted her next drink, so she unscrewed the cap (after two unsuccessful attempts) and gulped down the water. Trina took the empty plastic bottle from her and traded it for the familiar triangular martini glass, filled with green liquid that sloshed when she picked it up. After that, the rest of the night was a blur.

She remembered Sam telling her it was time to go, but Jade resisted, saying she wanted to stay. She remembered Trina saying she'd take care of Jade and make sure she got home. She remembered trying to pull up her WeDriveU app but not being able to read the screen. After that, it was an incomprehensible mess.

So, when she woke up on a couch in a bright but tiny living room, Jade was confused. And her head pounded like hell. Probably because someone was clanking around in the adjoining kitchen. It was hard to see anything through the blinding headache and her heavy eyelids.

"Good, you're up. I have an audition at eleven, so I have to leave in an hour." Trina. That was Trina's voice. Oh, _fuck_. Had she slept with _Trina_?

"What...happened?" Jade pushed herself upright and immediately regretted it. Her eyes were at least focusing better and she could see a bottle of Crystal Waters on the coffee table, which she immediately opened and began to drink.

"You got sloppy drunk, cried about my sister for an hour, refused to let Sam take you home, couldn't operate your ride share app, and when I asked you where you lived you just kept saying, 'USC, Home of the Trojans.' So I brought you here to sleep it off."

That...sounded like it was probably right. And something she could live with. "Coffee?" was Jade's next question.

Trina pointed somewhere off to her right and Jade forced herself to stand. It was dizzying and she had to grab onto the armchair that sat next to the couch, but she steadied herself and focused on pouring herself a cup of coffee. There was no sugar visible on the counter and Jade didn't feel like asking for it, so she just started drinking. The sharp taste and the molten heat of it snapped her senses awake, which didn't help with the headache, but at least Jade could start thinking about how to get home. She spotted her PearPhone on the table and hoped it still had battery left. It did. Thirteen percent. Just enough to book a ride and pray the battery lasted all the way home.

"Well, thanks for, uh, everything," said Jade.

"Yeah, I'm not really in the habit of babysitting my sister's exes, so let's not make this a thing."

"Don't worry. Your workplace isn't really my scene, anyway." Jade had a sudden memory of Trina dancing on the bar. "You really like working there?"

Trina shrugged. "Pays the bills."

Couldn't really argue with that. Jade was really starting to feel more grounded as she neared the bottom of her coffee cup. "I'm taking this," she said, claiming a muffin from the open package on the counter. "And now I'm going outside to wait for my ride." She splashed more coffee in the cup, deciding it was coming outside with her. "I'll leave the cup on the porch."

"Whatever. And you're welcome."

"I said thanks, already."

"Huh. Guess you did."

"Have a nice life, Trina."

"Hey, Jade?"

"What?"

"Do yourself a favor and forget about her. She's not coming back anytime soon."

Jade didn't want to hear it, but she knew Trina was right, which made her want to ignore it, even more. She exited the small, one bedroom space and was standing in a covered patio across from a larger house. "Wait." Another glance at the door she just exited, then back to the main house. She'd been here before.

This was Grandma Jean’s house. And there, in the kitchen window, was Grandma Jean.

The older woman quickly vanished from her spot on the other side of the glass, but then the back door opened. “Jade?”

"Yeah. Hey." Jade was delighted to see her, but she was also still suffering from a killer headache. She lowered herself onto the bench of the picnic table that sat in the middle of the patio between the back of the main house and the guest house.

"Looks like you've had a night."

"Something like that."

"Oh, honey," Grandma Jean said, with a tone in her voice Jade didn't like hearing from anyone. It was pity and she hated it. But this was one of the few people she could tolerate it from. "I'm so sorry things didn't work out between you two."

Jade really didn't want a repeat of the night before, the part with the crying over Tori, so she just shrugged. Her app beeped a notification that the driver was nearby. "That's my ride," she said, finishing the last of her coffee, then setting the cup on the table. "It was good to see you." She meant it.

"You come by any time, you hear me?"

Jade knew the invitation was sincere, but she wasn't sure what to do with it other than to say, "Thank you, Grandma Jean." She allowed the older woman to pull her into a hug before she exited out the back gate and waited for her rideshare at the corner of the alley.

**  
July**

Sam’s birthday present to Jade that year was derby tickets. It hadn’t been an exclusively Jade and Tori thing for awhile, but that didn’t mean the gift didn’t bring back a few memories Jade didn’t want to deal with.

But it was a gesture of friendship and caring from Sam, and Jade wasn’t about to kick that aside. Especially since Sam and Cat had been the closest thing she had to a support system since the breakup (and, if she were honest, it was still mostly Sam, given that Cat was so busy with community college and with trying to stabilize her mental health). Not that she didn’t have other friends, but now that they were all upperclassmen, everyone was so busy, even during the summer, when people had jobs, summer classes, and the beginnings of senior year projects in the works. And Jade was definitely keeping busy this summer, working hard on a script she was hoping to turn into a short film for her senior film project.

But it turned out, it wasn’t just about watching the derby bout, which Sam made clear when she showed Jade the tickets. Jade saw it was for the queer women’s league, the same league she’d gone to see with Tori a few years ago, “We’re seeing this bout?” she asked Sam, raising an eyebrow.

“Damn right we are,” Sam told her, “We’re going to take you out and see who’s thirsty for some Jade-orade.”

Jade wanted to argue, but she already knew that when it came to Sam, that was a useless impulse. And besides, a part of her thought she _should_ be ready for this by now. It had been five months since the breakup. Almost seven months since the last time they’d had sex.

And Jade had to admit, she did miss being touched. Like, in a way that Cat’s hugs and holding onto Sam on the back of her motorcycle didn’t satisfy.

So Jade made an effort to look good, makeup on point and wearing something particularly cleavage-enhancing. When even Sam took a good, long look at her when they met up to head to the derby together, Jade figured she’d done alright.

The bout itself wasn’t all that memorable, though it was nice to hang out with Sam and just watch something violent and exciting for awhile. About midway through, though, she realized why she recognized one of the skaters. She’d been the one who’d flirted with both her and Tori when they were here together, only to get spooked because Tori was underage.

And while mingling after the bout was over, it was clear that Cannibal Quinn recognized her, too. Or maybe she was just so into Jade’s boobs that she was willing to pretend.

At this point, Jade didn’t really care. She let Sam know she’d be going home with the captain of the Queerios tonight, and the broad, congratulatory smile Sam gave her was almost as good as the promise of getting laid, to be honest.

Yeah, Jade was starting to feel just a little more like herself, finally.

Cannibal Quinn--Jade still didn’t know what other name to call her--had showered and changed in the locker room before taking Jade back to her apartment, which she apparently shared with a couple of other people that Jade was grateful not to encounter. And she appeared to know exactly what she wanted, because almost too quickly for Jade to keep track of any of it, they were on her bed, naked, and Cannibal Quinn was on top of her, grinding against her thigh.

And it was...well. She was taller than Tori, and more muscular, but otherwise built pretty similarly--lean and lanky. And if Jade closed her eyes she could pretend that it was Tori on top of her. It wasn’t the healthiest thing, she knew that, but otherwise she was feeling so detached from what was happening that it seemed necessary.

Because imagining Tori was actually working pretty damn well. At least until Cannibal Quinn started talking.

“Slap me,” she murmured in Jade’s ear.

Well, _that_ took Jade completely out of the moment, and she couldn’t even process it at first. “What?”

“Slap me,” Cannibal Quinn pleaded again, more urgency in her voice now, grinding harder against Jade’s thigh.

Jade hesitated, but then she did it, maybe even a little harder than she meant to because everything was _a lot_ right now. She was about to apologize for going a little hard when Cannibal Quinn came, loudly and violently, on top of her, and all Jade could do was hold on to her to keep them both from getting hurt.

“ _Goddamn_ ,” Cannibal Quinn sighed when it was over. “Okay, baby. Let me take care of you,” she husked.

“Okay,” Jade murmured, flinching away slightly, wondering if retaliation was coming from the derby girl who was clearly into rough sex. What had she gotten herself into?

And then Jade felt Cannibal Quinn’s hand on her, and it was only nice for about a split second before Cannibal Quinn started slapping Jade, right on the clit.

Jade grabbed her wrist, groaning from the overly intense sensation, and she could see from Cannibal Quinn’s grin that she thought the pussy-slapping move had been successful. “Whoa, okay,” Jade panted, rolling with it, jolting her body and moaning one more time for good measure, “Oh, god, I’m coming, wow, yep,” she rambled.

Cannibal Quinn kissed her, with more teeth than tongue, and Jade let her, with a wince. Then, she got up and started looking for her underwear. Cannibal Quinn lounged nude on her bed and watched her, “That was fun,” she purred.

“Yep,” Jade replied noncommittally.

“I’m not really into relationships,” Cannibal Quinn disclosed, “But if you ever want to roll again, you know where to find me.”

“Sure do,” Jade said, redressing quickly and already pulling up the WeDriveU app on her phone, “Okay, this has been great, bye.” Jade sat outside on Cannibal Quinn’s porch waiting for her ride, just to put some distance between them.

The next day, Sam insisted they meet up to talk about Jade’s night, and Jade wasn’t about to argue. So while they sat in a booth at Bots, Jade started telling Sam all the gory details about sex with Cannibal Quinn.

“Wow,” Sam was wide-eyed, and she’d been so riveted that she’d barely touched her burger. She shook her head, “Mama’s into some wild stuff, but that’s...a lot.”

“Yeah,” Jade agreed. She was picking at her food, too.

Sam took a huge bite of her burger, then something occurred to her. “Wait, did she even go down on you at all?” she asked, through a partial mouthful of food.

“No!” Jade hissed, fist banging the table. “And you’d _think_ with a name like _Cannibal Quinn_ that might be in her wheelhouse, but _no_!”

Sam shook her head. “Good to know I need to avoid that one.”

Jade was glad she could at least provide some entertainment and a PSA to Sam, because otherwise, her first one-night-stand after Tori had been a disaster.

**  
Aug-Dec**

The news came down during what was supposed to be the hiatus between filming seasons: Webflix would not be renewing _Whisper Creek_ for another season.

To say the cast was shocked would be an understatement: the show had a good following, good numbers in terms of viewership. And the fan backlash certainly reinforced this. As Tori sat alone in her apartment and tried to make sense of what was happening, her social media feed was flooded with fans reacting to the news, signing petitions, tweeting at other streaming networks to pick the show back up. There was even a contingent who started fundraising to put billboards up in Vancouver, Toronto, New York, and Los Angeles, begging for someone to save the show.

Tori’s management said the fan activity was a good sign: This kind of passion and dedication made it likely that another network might decide to pick up the show. They told Tori to hold steady for a while, that they’d point her toward film work or guest roles on established shows, because they didn’t want her getting locked into anything more serious with the possibility of another season of _Whisper Creek_ being picked up elsewhere looming.

But for the immediate future, Tori didn’t have anything on her plate except a final party that weekend with the cast and crew of _Whisper Creek_ , in which she was simply instructed to update her social media with a thank you to their fans for the support.

Until then was mostly a blur, the whirlwind of her Spectrogram notifications blowing up, talking to her management, the free-falling sensation of having no idea what was next for her.

Everything really started sinking in at the farewell party.

Maybe it was the atmosphere--hopeful, but also a bit funereal. Maybe it was Addison--Tori’s co-star who she was probably closest with--who was a bit teary-eyed as they tried to take a selfie together to post for their fans. Maybe it was just the fact that enough time had passed that Tori finally started realizing that this opportunity of hers was almost certainly over, and that now, she had no idea what she was even doing in Canada.

Tori didn’t stay long at the party. She got a few pictures, made her social media post thanking her fans and urging them to keep fighting, as the cast was, to bring their favorite show back. But then she went home and lay in bed, unable to sleep.

This was supposed to be the rise of her career. This was supposed to be the opportunity she took to make it big, to be successful. This _wasn’t_ how it was supposed to go.

And in light of losing the show, of losing her footing, Tori was starting to realize she’d lost _everything_.

Including Jade.

In the dark of her bedroom, waiting for sleep that wasn’t coming, all her dreams of bringing Jade back to her crumbled around her.

She picked up her PearBook. Sleep wasn’t coming anyway. She opened her email account and started typing an email.

**Jade,**

**I fucked up. I see that now. I thought that nothing could break us but I see now that the only thing that could was me. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do, what we both wanted me to do, I thought I was starting our future but I get it now. I fucked up. And I miss you.**

**And I’m so sorry.**

She didn’t even sign it. But she also didn’t send it. Instead, she saved it to her drafts, knowing that dashing off an email like that when she was exhausted and depressed wasn’t the best idea.

Tori let the email sit in her drafts folder for a couple of days while she sat in her apartment, scrolling through social media, waiting to hear anything from her management team, and avoiding texts from friends and family about what was happening and whether she knew what was next. But then, she decided to send it. She didn’t think that what had happened between them could be fixed with an apology, but maybe, just maybe, it would at least allow them to talk again.

Talking to Jade was all she wanted right now.

But by the following weekend, there was no response, and Tori had to accept that one was probably not forthcoming.

And Tori finally processed the fact that her own ambition had cost her Jade. That it was truly over.

Everything she’d set aside for months finally crashed down on her: the loneliness, the isolation, the feeling like she was sinking slowly in an ocean without anyone there to pull her out. The realization that she and Jade had _broken up_. Why had it taken so long to process that?

Not knowing who else to even reach out to, Tori called Patrice. They’d talked, a little bit, back when the breakup had _actually_ happened, but Tori had insisted she was dealing with it.

“Tori?” Patrice answered.

“Patrice,” Tori heard her own voice crack and couldn’t stop the wave of tears that absolutely clouded her vision. “I fucked up.”

“Tell me what happened,” Patrice’s voice was soothing, gentle.

Tori let it all pour out of her: losing the show, being stuck in another country so far away from everyone else, realizing that she’d been believing this whole time that she and Jade would find their way back to each other only to be hit with the sudden realization that she’d been a damn fool. “She’s gone,” Tori sobbed, “I lost Jade because of this. I’m never getting her back. I can’t fix this.” Tori had to stop speaking before she became truly incoherent.

Patrice had listened quietly, only humming acknowledgement so that Tori knew she was there, she was listening. Finally, she said, “I’ve been expecting this call for a long time, Tori. And I’m so sorry you’re hurting.”

“What do I do?” Tori begged her, needing _something_ , some plan of action.

“The only thing you can do is grieve. And that takes time.”

Tori tried to hold back the sobs that were wracking her body. “But how can I make up for the fact that I fucked up so badly?”

Patrice hesitated. “That may not be something you really _can_ do.” The words crashed into Tori with a force that almost felt physical, and she felt helpless, stupid, and angry within her devastation. But Patrice pushed on, “But you can do work internally, seek forgiveness within yourself.”

“What the fuck does _that_ mean?” Tori asked brokenly, voice cracking.

“It means that...Tori, I’ll always be here for you, and I’ll always listen to you, but I’m not your therapist. I’m your friend. And as your friend, I think you could really benefit from talking to someone. I can send you a referral. I can find some queer-affirming therapists in your area.”

The idea of this just made Tori angrier, and she held back from lashing out at Patrice again, but as soon as her focus was off of her anger, the rest of her despondence poured over here. “Okay,” she managed, through her tears. “I’ll do that.” At least Patrice was giving her something practical, a step she could actually take.

And maybe she owed Patrice that much.

-

Jade had received the email from Tori and she’d left it, unread, in her inbox. It sat there for days, the bold font reminding her there was still one piece of whatever she and Tori had still waiting for her. Leaving it untouched meant she could imagine what it said, that she could pretend it was news of Tori coming home for good, that she wanted to pick things back up and try again. But Jade wasn’t even sure if she wanted that (no, that was a lie, she did want it), maybe she’d rather it be a tearful letter full of reasons why Tori was miserable up there in stupid Canada. Maybe it was a cordial memo to let her know she’d moved on and could Jade please stop spending so much time with the Vega family.

That last one was actually a concern she’d had. Even with Tori out of her life, the rest of the Vegas had proven to be a constant. Holly still spent time with Tiffany regularly (they’d started an erotic book club, gross), Trina even checked in with her once in a while (which was weird, but appreciated), and David had made a habit of setting up monthly pizza nights and trips to places like the Santa Monica pier, just the two of them (something, something, no father figure...it kind of made Jade want to cry in gratitude about it).

Eventually, Jade realized she should probably just delete the email, which she did. But then she regretted it and moved it right back out of the trash and into the inbox. She needed help with this one. Which was why she called Sam.

They met up at their regular spot off the Venice Boardwalk, a picnic table in sight of the Muscle Beach gym where they could make fun of the “lumpiest dudes.” Every once in a while, they’d see Sam’s goofy friend, Goomer, who seemed like a sweet guy but he wasn’t the brightest. He was a good fighter, though, and if Jade was feeling particularly aggressive when they interacted, he’d always let her punch him as hard as she could. It was cathartic knowing a dude who’d let you take a swing at him, just to blow off steam.

“All right, let’s see it,” Sam said, holding out her hand for Jade’s PearPhone.

Jade opened her email app and handed her phone over. “Just...let me know what it says.”

“Like read it to you?” asked Sam. “Or just look at it and give you a rundown?”

“Rundown.” Jade didn’t want the details. At least she didn’t think she did.

“Okay.” Sam tapped the screen and read through whatever had been sitting there in digital space for about a week. “Uh, well...she’s sorry.”

Jade huffed. “That’s it?” _That’s_ what she’d been agonizing over? It didn’t even seem like the email had been that long considering how quickly Sam had condensed the content of it.

“I mean, she sounds like she’s _really sorry_ ,” emphasized Sam. “Dude, maybe you should just look at it.” She offered the phone back, but Jade shoved her hand away.

“Just delete it.” If Tori had really wanted to talk, she could have called or even sent a text. This email bullshit felt so formal and...Jade just wanted to officially be over it.

-

Tori spent the fall auditioning, taking work she could find, and waiting for news about _Whisper Creek_. The fan petitions and online presence was still ongoing, and management said they’d heard some hopeful whispers of possibility, but Tori wasn’t holding her breath. Even if it did get picked up by another network, there was no guarantee the story would even go in the same direction. The showrunners kept saying that they had plans for Season Three, plans that likely included a queer arc for Tori’s character, and having the opportunity to bring that to life onscreen had been so important to her (and to many of her fans, who had apparently seen that same potential in her character). But a different network might mean everything would have to change.

At least she’d found a therapist she liked. And though it seemed silly to seek out therapy over something as common as a breakup, Tori was finding it really helpful. Because examining her life in the aftermath was something she was really getting a lot out of, too.

She’d decided that, for now, it made sense to stay in Canada. She was still getting work, she felt good about her working relationship with her management team, and though the possibility looked slimmer every day, there was always the chance of _Whisper Creek_ returning in some capacity. Tori had even discussed with her therapist that a part of her was worried she was only staying because returning home felt like failure, but ultimately, Tori decided that wasn’t what was really keeping her here.

Besides, she’d recently renewed her lease, just before the news about the show not being renewed came down. Tori was kinda locked in.

One thing that really sucked was that Canada and America couldn’t agree on when Thanksgiving was, so there was no real break in Tori’s schedule to go home for the holiday. But as American Thanksgiving approached, her management team pointed her toward a party for displaced Americans in the industry who were away from home for the holiday, and Tori decided it had to be better than sitting in her apartment with a turkey-based Hungry Girl microwavable dinner. Besides, it couldn’t hurt to make some connections.

So, viewing it as something halfway between a work function and a celebration, Tori headed to the American Thanksgiving celebration in Vancouver.

She put on her best face, mingled with the guests, got to know the host a little bit (a filmmaker who’d relocated from Texas, of all places). She actually saw one guy she knew, Kevin, who had done a three-episode arc on _Whisper Creek_ playing a werewolf. They barely had time to greet each other before they got swept up into separate conversations.

When it was time to sit down to eat, Tori found herself seated between an actor who kind of resembled what she thought Robbie might look like in twenty years, and Kevin. And as the meal went on, she found herself talking to Kevin a lot more.

They’d interacted some on set when he’d guest starred, though Tori knew she hadn’t exactly been the most fun person to be around, considering his arc occurred not long after the disastrous Valentine’s Day visit. But this dinner seemed like a fresh start, and as conversations splintered off as the meal went on, they talked a lot. He was a couple years older than she was, he was from Ohio, he played guitar, and he was _funny_. Tori couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed, but they laughed together throughout the meal.

When he asked for her phone number, she didn’t think much of it, glad to have found someone she enjoyed spending time with in Vancouver.

When he texted her the next day asking her out on a date, Tori realized she’d been a little naive.

But, she considered it. She enjoyed his company, and though she didn’t feel _that_ kind of spark when they’d talked over Thanksgiving dinner, maybe it was because she hadn’t given him a proper shot. Tori had identified as gay for several years now, but what if that wasn’t her truth? It wasn’t as though she’d ever had a serious boyfriend. And maybe Jade’s boobs were exquisite enough to make _anyone_ think they were totally gay.

And that was another piece of it, if she really thought about it. Maybe Tori missed being with someone, and maybe the idea of trying to be with another woman still seemed daunting. Because how could another woman compare with Jade?

So Tori said yes. In her mind, it couldn’t hurt.

Sunday, the day of the date, Tori was nervous. But like, not excited, fluttery nervous. Anxious. It was almost a relief when he took her out to dinner and she could order a drink.

About halfway through her drink, she started to relax a little, and their conversation warmed up accordingly. Instead of feeling stilted and awkward, it felt a lot like their conversation at Thanksgiving, and they laughed together. Tori had to admit she was having a good time. She tried to look at him through new eyes, imagining what it would be like to really date him. It felt a little bit like playing a role, imagining being his girlfriend, but Tori had to admit that the date was going well. They were enjoying each others’ company, having a good time.

And, when he parked his car in front of her apartment and asked if he could kiss her, Tori said yes. They leaned over his center console together.

She thought she might feel differently when he kissed her, but she really didn’t. Still, he was a pretty good kisser, and Tori kissed back, letting herself get lost in all the sensations that came with chasing someone’s lips, in the front seat of a sedan, leaning onto a center console.

But it all screeched to a halt when she lifted her hand to his chest, groping for a breast that was...decidedly _not_ there.

Tori pulled away immediately, pressing her lips together and shaking her head, but if she was laughing internally, it was only at herself.

“Sorry, I--” Kevin frowned, clearly thinking he’d done something wrong.

“No,” Tori patted his chest, “ _I’m_ sorry. But I’m...so gay. I’m _so_ gay.”

Kevin looked baffled for a moment, then his eyebrows rose. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Tori said, “Um, if it’s any consolation, I had a really good time tonight?”

Kevin cracked a smile, “It’s actually...a bit of a relief.”

Tori had no idea what _that_ was supposed to mean. Was Kevin gay, too? “Why?”

“Because, I thought you were really cute and fun but I couldn’t understand why we didn’t seem to be clicking in _that_ way. Not that, like, your identity has to serve my ego or anything, but I guess it’s just nice to know I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, you didn’t,” Tori laughed.

Tori at least was able to end her first date since her breakup with a confirmation of her identity, and knowing she had at least someone she could call to hang out, if she really needed to.

When she was back in her apartment and fully sobered up, Tori reflected that maybe she really needed to reassess herself since she had actually gone for a boob grab on a first date, let alone a first kiss. She was actually pretty relieved it had been with a guy in that moment. Maybe she needed to chill out. Maybe she should drink less.

Maybe Tori just really, _really_ missed boobs.

-

This was weird. Not so much the part where Jade and her mom were still close enough with the Vegas to have Thanksgiving together, that part made sense. Especially given that Tori wasn’t coming home for the holiday.

But the weird part was that Holly had made “medicated gravy” (there was regular gravy, too, for David, who was still taking baby steps in regard to indulging in his wife’s concoctions, and for Grandma Jean who “didn’t want to go on a weird trip, thank you”) in an attempt to expand her cannabis culinary skills. Jade and Trina were both happy to give feedback, as was Tiffany (Jade’s brother, thankfully, was at their dad’s). The gravy was tasty and...effective. After dinner, as everyone sat around in the Thanksgiving tradition, too full to move, Jade and Trina laid around on the sofas and watched television while their parents and Grandma Jean sat outside. Jade couldn’t tell if she was in a food coma or couch-locked from the THC and from the way Trina was just staring blankly at the TV screen, Jade figured she was in a similar place.

“This is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen you,” Jade said.

Trina slowly turned and looked at her. “I feel like my legs are made of butter.”

Jade looked down at Trina’s legs. “I think they’re made of legs.” And then she couldn’t stop the laughter that built up inside of her. It was _funny_. Or. It _felt_ funny.

A smile cracked across Trina’s face and she began laughing along with Jade. They were full-on giggling when David appeared and handed each of them a bottle of water. “The chef says you’re supposed to drink these.”

Jade’s eyes lit up at the idea of drinking fresh, cool water. She twisted off the cap and gulped it down, feeling like the chill of it flowed down her throat, into her stomach before radiating into all of her limbs. “This is the best water.”

Trina nodded. “It’s like... _refreshing_.”

That kicked Jade off into another wave of giggles. As Grandma Jean passed through to say goodbye before David drove her home, she said, “Well, aren’t these two high as kites. Have fun, girls.”

“Maybe you two should go out and get some air,” suggested David. “Also, keep an eye on your mothers. I don’t trust them alone.”

Oh god, he was right. Tiffany West, high on weed gravy? That couldn’t be good. “Come on, T-Rex,” Jade said, peeling herself up off the couch.

“Did you just call me Rex?” Trina glowered at her, though she still let Jade pull her up.

That made Jade laugh harder as they shuffled to the patio doors and let themselves outside. Holly and Tiffany were sitting around the patio table, smoking a joint.

“Are you _kidding me_?” Jade cried. She was so high from the gravy that if she smoked weed, right now, she would probably be able to project herself into a parallel realm. Actually, that sounded kind of cool. But she had more important things to deal with. Like the part where their moms decided to get in the jacuzzi and were just stripping down, _all the way_.

“Oh my god, _Mom_!” Trina shrieked, covering her eyes. “This is unacceptable behavior!”

Jade nodded, keeping her gaze fixed on a yard gnome in the opposite direction of the spa. “Yeah!” Part of her, part of her really wanted to just catch a peek at Holly, only because she knew it would make Tori insane if she ever knew, but that also meant the risk of seeing her own mother’s nude body and she didn’t think she could handle that. Not in this state. Not in _any_ state.

Trina’s hand wrapped around her upper arm and dragged her toward the house. “I cannot be out here for this.”

“Let’s go somewhere else,” Jade suggested.

They ended up in Tori’s old room; Trina’s had been cleared out when she moved into the guest house but Tori’s still had a lot of stuff left in it that hadn’t made the trip to Canada. Most of the smaller stuff that was left behind had apparently been packed away, but the furniture was the same, there were still books on the shelf, and the bulletin board that hung over Tori’s desk still had things stuck to it. Jade recognized the titles on movie stubs stacked under a thumbtack, knowing they’d gone together to see all of them.

She thought about Tori’s email, the one she hadn’t read, the one that apologized.

Jade wondered if she’d made a mistake not really reading it, not replying to it.

As if to shake her out of the moment, Trina suddenly exclaimed, “Tori is such an asshole!” She yanked a shirt out of the closet. “This is _so totally mine_.” Then Trina began sorting through the rest of the clothes. “And just because I can, I’m taking this. And this.” She tossed her newly acquired wardrobe items on the bed, then poked around at some shoeboxes on the shelf, sliding one out, then looking at Jade. “There’s not going to be anything freaky in here, is there? Like a sex toy?”

“How would _I_ know?” Jade shrugged, though that reminded her of Tori’s secret sex toy lipstick. She wondered if it was in the same spot so she made her way over to the nightstand drawer and slid it open. Yep. Still there.

“Anything good in there?”

She considered pointing it out to Trina, but then it felt like maybe too much. “Nah. Just the manual to her clock radio.” Though whether she was sparing Tori or Trina the humiliation, Jade wasn’t sure.

Trina shook her head. “She’s such a little nerd.”

Whatever Trina had found didn’t seem that interesting, because she’d already shoved the box back on the shelf. The next one, however, contained a diary, which Trina decided she did want to look at, so it ended up on the bed. Jade was curious, so she picked it up and flipped through the first few pages. Blank. She tossed it back on top of the clothes.

Jade regarded Trina, watching as she shamelessly snooped through her sister’s private belongings. “You know, you’re actually kind of fun when you’re high.”

“I’m the same, you’re just not falling all over Tori anymore, so you’re able to see how great I am.”

Maybe that was true. Maybe Trina had been cool the whole time--no, she was screechy and annoying all through high school. Though...a lot of Jade’s annoyance had stemmed from Trina constantly throwing herself at Beck. That gave her an idea. “Hey, are you still interested in Beck?”

Trina dropped the box she was holding and spun around. “Why? Did he ask about me?”

“No,” Jade laughed. “But he’s in town next month and I think I could get him to agree to a date.” Trina just stared at her. “With you.”

“Are you serious? Or is this one of your weird sadistic games?”

“I’m just trying to be cool. You’ve...kind of helped me out this year.”

“I want you to write this down and when we’re both sober, I’m holding you to this.” Trina flung open the desk drawers, hunting for a pen and paper that she finally found and held out to Jade.

“Fine.” Jade repeated her offer in pen and ink, then handed the small piece of notepad paper to Trina. The pen was a cheap promotional item from _Doc 420,_ the place they’d gone to get their medical marijuana cards the summer after Tori turned eighteen.

Instead of putting it back in the drawer, she slipped it in the pocket of her jeans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Section title from _Against All Odds_ by Phil Collins (but in my head I'm hearing the Mariah Carey version)


	2. Prologue, Part Two: And there's nothing left here to remind me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential trigger warnings: 
> 
> \- Brief attempt at breath-play/choking during a sexual act.  
> \- A scene in which a character exhibits aggressive sexuality with a lack of communication. Everything is consensual, but it could prove to be triggering for some.

**2016**

**December**

Tori’s parents came out in early December to celebrate Christmas with her. She’d already decided after Thanksgiving that she probably didn’t want to come home for Christmas. The idea of even being in the same city as Jade so soon after their breakup--or, really, so soon after processing their breakup--was too painful.

So they’d arranged a visit during a week when Tori didn’t have a lot on her plate, and spent some time together. Tori was a little more willing to explore Vancouver with them, more so than she had been when her mom visited for her twenty-first birthday, anyway. They visited restaurants, museums, really anything they could do to stay inside, even playing cards in their hotel room or at Tori’s apartment. Tori had barely gotten used to how cold it got in the winter, but watching her parents truly suffer was kind of funny, in a mean way. Weirdly, it made Tori feel like a different person, someone who’d acclimated to such cold. She wondered how much Canada would change her, how much it already had.

But after they left, and Tori finished her work obligations up until the long weekend of Christmas itself, she was faced with the realization that spending Christmas alone was going to be harder than she thought.

Other than their visit, her parents had given her money, telling her to spend it on herself frivolously. Which Tori had decided to do on Christmas Eve, and had already made the required appointment.

So Tori spent Christmas Eve in a chair at a tattoo parlor, the same one she’d visited the year before. The artist was working on the same thing, too, the compass tattoo on Tori’s forearm, but she was adding detail, obscuring the simple directional symbolism of heading due west. Tori didn’t quite have the heart to completely cover the little W, but it wasn’t the focus of the piece anymore, just like how Jade was certainly a part of her journey but no longer her magnetic pull. The detail of the compass nestled the W within the long directional arrow pointing toward Tori’s wrist, the compass face was given a circular shape with a star pattern, and the whole piece began to represent, to Tori, that she was finding her own way now.

After effectively giving herself the gift of a tattoo, Tori spent a rather dreary Christmas Day alone in her apartment, watching sappy Christmas movies and trying not to regret every second of deciding to spend the holiday in Vancouver. But yeah, when it came down to it, it was a miserable decision.

The one thing Tori had to look forward to was the New Year’s Eve party with her former _Whisper Creek_ castmates. It was both an opportunity for some socialization with some of the people she’d grown closest to during her time in Canada, and another chance at getting some publicity for the show, by demonstrating that the cast still got along and would still be thrilled to work together if the show came back.

And it was a good time, overall. People updated their social media with pictures, thanked their fans, but as the party started to get into full swing, phones went back into pockets, and they started being a little more present with each other. They talked about what might happen if they got news about their show this year, and Tori found the general sense of optimism kind of infectious; it had been awhile since she’d felt like good news was on the horizon, but she almost wanted to believe in it again.

Tori was happy to see everyone, but she found herself hanging out with Addison for most of the night. She was the person she felt closest to in the cast, after all. And Addison certainly didn’t seem to mind. They talked for a bit about work they’d gotten since the show was canceled, about how their Christmases were (Tori totally lied and said it had been peaceful and not at all depressing as hell).

And as the evening went on, and the drinks flowed, Tori found herself in the empty kitchen telling Addison about her date with Kevin.

“It turned out I was way too gay to date him, considering I tried to grab his boob,” she finished the story, laughing.

Addison cackled with her, “You didn’t!”

“I did,” Tori nodded ruefully.

Addison gave her a particularly sultry look, “So is that always how you kiss girls? Just reach right for it?”

“I…” Tori blinked, “I mean, I hope that I’ve learned I need to ask permission first, after that.”

“Well,” Addison was leaning into her personal space, “Permission granted,” she murmured, before closing in and capturing Tori’s lips with her own.

Despite the clear invitation, Tori didn’t process what was happening quickly enough to even reach for Addison’s breasts. Addison pulled away moments later, mouth twisting slightly.

“Guess not,” she murmured, clearly taking Tori’s stunned reaction as rejection.

Tori reached for her arm before she could pull away and drew her in for another kiss, this time purposely letting her palm skim over Addison’s breast, making her sigh in her mouth. Tori felt hot all over, for the first time in awhile.

Shawn, one of the supporting actors, hustled into the kitchen while they were still kissing, “Whoops, sorry to interrupt,” he laughed, seeming completely unfazed to walk in on two people kissing.

Addison pulled away, “It’s okay,” she told him, but she was looking at Tori, still smirking. Tori didn’t know _what_ to think, she just knew her cheeks were hot and she wanted to kiss Addison again.

“So is this because you two might not get your lesbian arc if there’s no season three?” Shawn teased as he refilled the cups he was carrying with hastily poured mixed drinks. It was the dynamic between Tori’s character and Addison that had sparked a lot of fan interest around the idea of a queer character arc, and if she was honest, Tori had thought even before they started kissing that Addison would be a fun person to play that role beside.

“Maybe,” Addison said playfully. “Or maybe Tori’s just a good kisser.”

“Hey, that gives me an idea,” Tori said, “Shawn, take our picture!”

His eyes lit up, “Absolutely.”

Tori put her arms around Addison and nuzzled her cheek, and Addison responded in kind. When Shawn passed back Tori’s phone, there were several cutesy pictures of the two of them. She showed Addison.

“You wanted to commemorate the moment?” Addison teased.

“No,” Tori said, “I’m tweeting these. Just watch.”

Tori typed up the post, concentrating hard on making sure all the grammar was correct and that it made sense, which was hard, given that she was kind of drunk. But she specifically thanked the fans of the pairing of their characters, expressed that they wanted to be able to bring that romance to life as badly as the fans did, and finished with the hashtag #SaveWhisperCreek.

She and Addison rejoined the party, sharing occasional small smooches, something no one around them seemed to notice or care about. When Tori checked her phone about an hour later, she nudged Addison to show her.

The picture of the two of them had skyrocketed in likes, comments, and shares, making it one of the top posts in the #SaveWhisperCreek hashtag.

“See?” Tori grinned, “Just have to give the people what they want sometimes.”

“What about what I want?” Addison asked, kissing her again.

Tori didn’t think she really had any romantic feelings for Addison, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t kiss. So she kissed back, letting herself get lost in the pleasure of kissing someone beautiful who encouraged her attention.

Maybe they both just missed being touched and were seeking some comfort over the holidays, because after the New Year’s party, they texted occasionally, but neither of them really asked to meet up or hang out.

Tori thought she was basically okay with it. She didn’t know what she was ready for, yet.

**  
2017**

Jade’s final semester of college was loaded with activity. She was expected to write, shoot, edit, and showcase a short film within the span of a few months, something her fellow students were mostly stressing out over. But Jade felt good about it, as producing work on tight timelines had been a cornerstone of her education at Hollywood Arts.

Story was usually the easiest part for her; she was always jotting down ideas, making short outlines when things started to show they could be shaped into a narrative. The rest of it wasn’t technically _easy_ but it was very manageable, even with the rest of her semester workload, given that she’d been making films for nearly a decade, at this point. When it came time to cast the lead role, the woman who insisted the stuffed tiger she pushed around in a baby carriage was her actual, flesh and blood child, Jade thought of one, very specific person.

Trina Vega.

“Is this a joke?” Trina asked, once Jade finally got her to agree to meet for coffee.

“No, it’s real. I need someone who’s willing to really go for it and...despite literally everything else about you, that’s one thing you’ll always do in a performance.” After watching Trina over-perform for years and then working with more than a handful of over-serious USC and UCLA performers, Jade realized there was a certain value to an actor who was always just willing to go for something.

Trina tapped her fingers on the coffee house table. “You promised that thing with Beck was real and then it turned out he was just _so boring_.”

“I can’t help that. That’s just actually how he is.”

“How long did you guys date?”

“Almost three years.” Jade shrugged. “Give or take.” But she hadn’t invited Trina out to coffee for a blast from the past. She needed someone to play Marlene Navelton. “Will you do the movie?”

“Does it pay?”

“Not a ton, but yes.”

“Are there any hot guys in it?”

There really weren’t, mostly because of the nature of the script. But Jade could negotiate. “There aren’t any male leads but...if you say yes, I’ll let you hand-pick three of the hottest extras you can find.”

Trina briefly considered the offer before nodding. “It’s a deal.”

And, actually, Trina had a good eye. When it came time to shoot the film in early March there were three very attractive, very compliant male background performers. None of them were even technically actors, it seemed Trina had curated this small collection from bar customers while she was at work. One of the guys really took to the idea of performance (as basic as it had been, just existing in the background of the shots) and Jade made a note to consider him for later projects. Maybe Trina had a future in casting.

Working with such pretty guys had Jade considering that maybe she’d consider dating more often. She’d gone out a few times since the Cannibal Quinn incident, but school had been such a heavy load and Jade tended to really pour herself into her work, so dating wasn’t even a consideration. Not that this semester was any lighter on the workload, but maybe the distance from Tori made a difference. So, on the nights when she was actually invited out, whether to a film screening or a wrap party or just a regular college hangout, she tried to be social.

It...didn’t always work out the way she expected.

There was Derek, the mega-hot actor who everyone wanted to cast in their projects. When he’d asked if Jade wanted to go out sometime, she was genuinely flattered and agreed. Which was when she found out he was so, so pretty but also so, so boring.

On the opposite end of the spectrum was Billy, a sweet-faced film-school equivalent of a frat boy who’d decided it was a great idea to spontaneously introduce choking into their sexual activity the first and only time they went to bed together. Jade, having recently spent a weekend in a father/daughter self-defense class with David Vega, had no problem grabbing his arm, rolling them over, and twisting him into a painful wrist-lock.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she demanded.

He tried to wrestle out of the grip, but she just dug her knee into his kidney. “What? Some girls like that. It’s in, like, every porn.”

“Well, guess what, asshole. This isn’t porn.” Once he stopped resisting, she released him and immediately began gathering up her clothes. “And you’re supposed to ask someone before you pull that shit.” He rambled a bunch of apologies, obviously wanting to convince her to stay, but she was done. As soon as she was dressed, she was out the door. This piece of shit was lucky she hadn’t choked him back.

She decided that maybe the pretty boys weren’t worth the trouble.

Though, the women were also...a challenge.

Like Sonya, a very attractive, somewhat older woman Jade had interacted with at a party. She was gorgeous, really, and Jade kept feeling her eyes drawn to her until they finally met up near the wine bar that had been set up in the kitchen. They’d been talking about Hitchcock for maybe five minutes when Sonya flirtatiously dragged her fingers across Jade’s scissors tattoo, down toward her hand.

“You have such amazing hands,” Sonya said, leaning in, keeping her voice low. Her own hand wrapped around Jade’s, sliding along her fingers. “You’re probably so good at fisting.”

Jade really didn’t know how she didn’t drop her wine glass, right then and there. “Excuse me?”

“If you wanted to get out of here, we could find out just how perfect these hands are for it. Think about it,” she said, her lips practically pressed against Jade’s ear.

Jade did not “think about it,” at least not in the way Sonya was suggesting. She did, however, tell Sam all about it that weekend.

“Did you get her number?” Sam asked.

“No!” Jade exclaimed. “I wasn’t interested.”

“Well, maybe _I_ am! Did you ever think about that?”

“You’re a wild one, Puckett.”

-

Two big things characterized the beginning of 2017 for Tori: restarting school, and news about _Whisper Creek_.

Tori was taking classes online through UCLA’s remote learning program, which meant she didn’t have to worry about credit transfers. She was able to earn a lot of credits for her acting program due to the work she was actually doing, but she’d already decided to switch her focus to psychology. It was related to acting, since it was about exploring human behavior, but it was also something she’d been independently interested in, especially the Human Sexuality course she’d taken when she still lived in LA.

The online classes gave her some flexibility with her schedule, which she needed, given the nature of her work, and the prospect of restarting school distracted her from the uncertainty of her career. And it satisfied another need within her, a personal goal, one that therapy had helped her identify and prioritize: with all the uncertainty and anguish that came with losing the steady work that came with _Whisper Creek_ , and losing Jade, Tori had realized that she was additionally disappointed with the fact that she’d made this huge life change without even finishing her degree. Finishing college was important to her, and she was glad that she was taking steps to do it now.

And, just before spring, the news broke: Webflix was bringing back _Whisper Creek_ , not for another full season, but for a feature film that would serve as the conclusion to the series.

For a full week, Tori’s phone wouldn’t stop buzzing with social media notifications from excited fans, a celebratory group chat with the cast, and friends and family congratulating her on the opportunity.

And maybe it wasn’t quite what they wanted, but it was a victory nonetheless. It felt good to be part of something that meant a true, satisfying conclusion to a show that had meant a lot to so many people.

The _Whisper Creek_ movie was scheduled to film in the early summer, which meant Tori and her management team had a better idea of her availability. They started encouraging her to try out for more films as well as other television shows. It meant more auditions, but Tori was game. Her spring was busy, with school, auditions, and some work on sets.

By the time summer rolled around and production began on the _Whisper Creek_ movie, Tori was ready to be back on set regularly for a month or so. The familiarity of the people and the atmosphere gave Tori a sense of ease that she hadn’t felt since the show had been canceled and she was ready to put her work into it.

The only problem (and from the murmurs of her castmates, it seemed she wasn’t the only one who thought this) was that the script was a little chaotic, as if the writers had decided to cram an entire season’s worth of storylines into one movie. Which was probably exactly what was happening. As a whole, Tori thought it would probably serve as a pretty satisfying conclusion to the show, but she was a little disappointed that what had been presented to her as a queer arc for her character had been reduced to one scene. It included a kiss between herself and Addison, but that was it. Other actors seemed disappointed with aspects of their own character’s journeys, but nothing was bad enough to really affect the overall mood of the set, which was excited, nostalgic, and celebratory. The consensus seemed to be that this project was going to be worth it.

And Addison herself seemed to be taking it all in stride. “So, ready to kiss for the camera this time?” she teased Tori in the adjacent styling chair.

Tori glanced at the people around them to see that no one had any reaction. Not that she really expected any. Tori met her eye in the mirror for a moment, “I think so,” she told her, trying for confident. She hadn’t really seen or talked to Addison much as the last couple of months had flown by, but as soon as they were back on set together, it was like no time had passed at all.

And the flirtatious vibe that had characterized New Year’s Eve became a part of her daily life on set. She and Addison were attached at the hip, and it was great for Tori. Addison was fun, she was cute, and, as Tori was reminded during breaks from filming, she was a good kisser. At first, they pretended it was practice for when they would have to kiss for the camera, but that excuse was quickly discarded when their kissing got much more intense than would be appropriate for the scene.

If the makeup team ever wondered just how they both needed such extensive touchups of their lips, they didn’t complain.

And when the habit of kissing continued even after they filmed their scene together, Tori thought she had to say something. They both knew it wasn’t even about that one scene and hadn’t been for a long time, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth addressing.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” she asked Addison, “I mean, we work together.”

Addison’s eyes lingered on Tori’s lips for a moment before she finally said, “I’m...not interested in dating you if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No,” Tori replied, because truthfully, she didn’t think she wanted to date Addison, either. She didn’t think she really wanted to date _anyone_ right now. “I don’t want that, either. I just don’t want anything to get complicated because I like having you as a friend.”

“Well, just think of me as a friend with benefits,” Addison shrugged, “And if it makes you feel better, we can save _some_ of those benefits for after filming ends.”

Tori did feel better about it. Aaaand now she maybe couldn’t wait until they were done filming, which was an unexpected development.

And when they finished filming, and Addison took Tori back to her apartment for the first sex she’d had in over a year, Tori thought the wait was definitely worth it.

**  
June**

Roller derby was still a holdover from her relationship with Tori that Jade hadn't been willing to drop. And, anyway, the only reason they'd started attending bouts in the first place was because of Jade's interest in it. Even then, Sam had become Jade’s derby-buddy within the last year. So, it wasn't even a Tori and Jade Date Thing anymore, anyway.

One thing that had changed when Puckett subbed in for Vega: the beer. When Sam took over, they both had ID to prove they were twenty-one (though she doubted the validity of Sam's, given that she didn’t like the idea of any government entity keeping tabs on her) and proceeded to invent their own drinking game. Sips were assigned to every jam, jump, and penalty. And if your chosen skater of the night fouled out? Bottom's up.

So, when Sam presented Jade with two tickets to the Cross-Regional Derby All-Star Tournament Finals as her graduation gift from USC, Jade knew she was in for a night of cheap beer and organized violence. Everything proceeded as usual, the floor in front of them littered with empty plastic cups. Jade was on beer number three when Sam noticed something about one of the blockers.

"Holy shit, that's Shelby."

"Wait, what?"

"The blocker for the Demon Babies."

Jade couldn't really tell, because the player in question was all the way across the track. "How can you even tell?"

"I just remembered she said something about playing derby, but she's from Seattle so they don't ever play in the California leagues."

"Wait, so you actually know her? Or is this just someone you picked up once?"

"Nah, we're friends-ish from a while back. You remember that boxer, Shelby Marx?"

"Not really." Jade knew it would be faster just to look it up on her phone, so she tapped the name into the search bar. "Whoa, shit, what?"

"Hot right?"

"She looks _just like_ Tori."

Sam leaned over and studied the picture. "I mean...I guess."

Jade begged to differ, but didn't feel like arguing about whether or not this ex-boxer turned blocker was the damn doppelganger of her ex-girlfriend. When the tournament bouts were over and Sam was dragging her across the track to catch up with this Shelby person, it gave Jade another chance to evaluate. She watched as the two greeted each other and, sure enough, it seemed like Sam actually had some kind of friendly history with her.

"This is my buddy Jade. I think she'd be one of you guys if she didn't have the whole top-heavy issue slowing her down."

"Thanks a ton, Sam."

Shelby (who really fucking goddamn did look a lot like Tori) let her gaze wander over Jade's t-shirt. "Not seeing much of a problem," she said with a quick raise of her eyebrows. "Nice to meet you, Jade." Before Jade could make much of it, Shelby was back to chatting with Sam. "You coming to the party?"

Which was how she and Sam ended up at a bar just down the street, engaged in an intense air-hockey competition while they waited for the players to shower and change and show up at this total dive that had really good deals on pitchers of beer. Because if Jade was going to get through a night with Shelby "Lost Twin of Tori Vega" Marx, she'd need it. Especially when Sam decided Jade and Shelby should be paired up as beer pong partners. Which, okay, they won, so that was a good call. But by the time it hit midnight, Jade knew she was at the point of making bad decisions and Sam wasn't the best person to be around when this happened.

This became very clear when Sam pointed out that Shelby was absolutely, without a doubt, flirting with Jade. Which, okay, even through her boozy haze, Jade wasn't clueless. The part where Shelby had sat on her lap and taken a drink out of her beer was pretty obvious.

“Dude, this is a chance for you to really do something important. She’s so hot.”

“Then why don’t you go for it? I know you and Cat have your...agreement or whatever.”

“Uh, well, the part where she's been all over you is kind of a reason. And, anyway, Shelby’s kind of a friend so...I can’t. But I’ve wondered what it’d be like to rumble with her since I was, like, fifteen.”

“Yeah, not my problem.”

“Then do it for yourself. Maybe she’ll help you get over Tori. The breakup sex you never had.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

Maybe fifteen minutes later, when Shelby pulled Jade into an empty booth toward the back of the bar, Jade had an idea about what might happen. So when Shelby grabbed the front of her shirt and leaned in for a kiss, Jade went for it. They kept kissing for a while, the entire time reminding Jade that this wasn't Tori, because she didn't kiss like Tori. And, there was a point where Shelby had very clearly not made a move to cop a feel of Jade's breasts, which was when she had to pull back. It was fine to make out with someone who wasn't Tori, but the fact that Shelby looked so much like her and very clearly _wasn't_ her...that was where it fell apart.

"Sorry, I'm, um...still getting over someone."

Shelby let her hand fall from where it had been gripping Jade's side. "Ah. Yeah...that's..."

"You're really hot. And definitely my, uh, type. But...I just can't."

"Hey, that's cool." Shelby scooted out of the booth as Jade followed.

"Look, but if you're ever thinking about Sam, you know, like that. She'd never tell you, but she's into it."

Shelby squinted her eyes and nodded in a way that, ironically, absolutely reminded Jade of Tori. "Good to know."

Yeah, Jade definitely needed to leave before her head exploded.

-

The short film Jade had made for her film school final quickly caught the eye of a few people who were in the position to help elevate her to bigger work. Namely, by the time the summer was over, she was offered the opportunity to direct a feature, produced by Janelle Dredson, the founder of Dread It Pics, a well-known production company for female-directed independent horror films.

The company was housed in New York and the deal to take on the film came with a paid-sublet in the city for the duration of Jade’s time working on the project, so moving across the country was a no-brainer. Her mom and the Vegas threw her a small going-away party, giving her too much advice between weird stories about whatever choices they made at her age. All three parents went overboard in telling her just how proud they were of her and Jade couldn’t even pretend to shrug it off. She’d miss LA, she’d miss David and Holly, and if she was being honest, she’d kind of miss her mother. Things had been...better between them since she’d been living in the USC dorms (and also maybe since her mom started getting blazed with Holly fairly regularly), so maybe she’d let her come visit every once in a while.

Once Jade was in New York, settled into her Brooklyn apartment, time felt like it moved at random. Some days felt like they barely moved, others sped by until she realized a week had passed. The pace of city life in Manhattan was so different from Los Angeles. Jade liked that she was supposed to always be moving and found herself quickly adapting to grumbling like a local when tourists ambled too slowly in front of her. The only thing she missed was her car, because it was where she did a lot of thinking on long drives, sorting out story ideas. She was learning to adapt, though. With her headphones in on the subway, she was starting to learn how to tune out the world around her or zero in on an interesting character seated further down the car. She took a lot of notes on train rides, something she couldn’t do while driving.

When it came time for the casting process, Jade followed the lead of the team that surrounded her. She’d always just thrown whoever she wanted in her movies, so this was the first time she had additional feedback and notes from the producers. In the end, the strongest contender for the lead was Lana Blackwood, who was a pretty big name for a first-time feature director to land. She was something of a horror icon, at least in the independent circles. Slightly older than Jade by just a few years, she was also an early crush from when she’d starred on _Bite Me University_ , a popular paid cable series that was on around the time Jade was starting high school. The character was a lesbian vampire and Lana herself had come out as bisexual during the run of the show. It was something that had helped shape Jade’s identity.

And now she was sitting across from her, listening to Lana _fucking_ Blackwood read the lines she’d written, looking to Jade for approval when she was finished. Jade gave her a couple different bits of direction, but didn’t say much else.

It wasn’t until a Halloween party at the Dread It offices that Jade learned just what Lana had thought of that audition because they’d somehow ended up wallflowering together while everyone else mingled around them.

“I’ll be honest, I thought you hated me,” Lana said.

They were standing between an automated waving skeleton and an ice sculpture of a werewolf.

“What? That’s insane! You were so great,” Jade replied. The second Lana Blackwood’s name had been mentioned as a possibility for _Not My Problem_ , she’d seen how perfect a fit it could be.

“You were just intimidating, I think,” admitted Lana.

“Kind of a thing about me.”

“You’re not so scary now.”

That party set the tone of their working relationship, one where Jade was able to set aside the fact that she’d been a little star struck in the beginning. The more she was around Lana, in the table read and then rehearsals, she easily saw her more as a fellow artist and they worked well together as things moved toward production, which would start early the next year.

With her new place, her new job, and this new city to explore, Jade felt like she was finally finding her feet. It felt good, like a goddamn dream, one she didn’t realize she’d been looking forward to until she was in the middle of it.

**  
2018**

Patrice was telling her, and not for the first time, that it was probably time to get back out there. Her voice came through the phone and into Tori’s earbuds as she finished her errands for the day.

“I know,” Tori sighed, coming back in from the cold and into her tiny studio apartment with groceries, “I’ve been trying, but it’s hard. My schedule will be intense for days or weeks and then nothing, it’s so hard to find ways to meet people when I can barely plan a week ahead with my work.” Since the _Whisper Creek_ movie had wrapped, Tori was finding work where she could, which meant a lot of auditions. She was having some success at getting roles on TV shows, guest roles for a few episodes, a few that even indicated they might bring her back later in the season. And she was going to more film auditions. But it was time-consuming, exhausting in a different way than being on set all day for five days a week.

“Have you used any of the apps yet?” Patrice asked.

“No,” Tori sighed. She had been wary of apps, because it felt to her like it would be more “genuine” to meet someone in her everyday life, whatever that meant.

“I’d be willing to bet most couples are meeting online these days,” Patrice said. “So if you’re worried about being judged, set that aside.”

“No, it’s not that,” Tori replied, setting down her groceries.

“Then what’s holding you back?” When Tori didn’t have a ready answer, Patrice offered a guess, “Are you not ready to date again?”

“No, I am,” Tori said feebly, but even as she said it, she wondered if Patrice might be onto something. Was she avoiding apps because she wasn’t really over Jade? It seemed silly, but then, Tori had spent too much time after the breakup living in hope, and it had extended her grieving period long beyond what seemed reasonable. Even though she was pretty sure she’d worked through a lot of this, maybe this was a final hesitation she needed to work through. The legitimate fear of getting her heart broken again.

“Okay,” Patrice’s tone suggested she’d noticed Tori’s hesitation, but elected to listen to her words instead. “Well, I’ve heard that scissHER is a decent app for queer women, maybe you should start there.”

“ScissHER? Is it _really_ called that?” Tori rolled her eyes as she started unpacking her shopping bags.

“Yeah, it’s a little on the nose,” Patrice laughed.

“No, I mean,” Tori’s mouth twisted, “Scissors are...a Jade thing.”

“Scissor _ing_?” Patrice asked, sounding uncertain.

“No.” Though now Tori was thinking about their attempts at _that_. “Just scissors in general. She loves them. And her favorite movie was _The Scissoring_. Hell, it probably still is.”

“Well, if you can get past the name, I think it’s worth a try. Tori, you’re young and beautiful. And you’re on TV! Seems to me you could write your own ticket when it comes to dating. And if you truly are ready to get back out there, I think it might help you feel a little less alone up there if you’re dating.”

“You’re right,” Tori agreed, trying not to smile at Patrice’s compliment. It definitely sucked sometimes being so far away from everyone she cared about, but as long as she kept finding work with her connections, it seemed like a good idea to stay. Besides, some of the other actors she’d worked with were cool, like Addison and Kevin, even if she didn’t consider them close friends. She and Addison had seen each other a couple of times after filming the _Whisper Creek_ movie, but then Addison got a lead role on a sitcom and her schedule got a lot more hectic. They texted occasionally, but hadn’t hooked up since the fall.

Tori hung up with Patrice not long after that. Tori was grateful to Patrice, because she’d become the friend Tori confided in a lot. Not that she didn’t love Andre, but she found it was a lot easier to talk to another queer woman about her personal life. And though Cat definitely had...something going on with Sam, she had a lot on her plate, and Tori was more often a source of support for Cat than vice versa. Which she was fine with. It was actually helpful to think of somebody else once in a while.

That evening, as Tori lay in bed, she found she couldn’t stop thinking about scissHER. Maybe it was some kind of sign, a stupid sign that she should just go for it. Besides, she trusted Patrice. She didn’t always listen to her, but still.

So, Tori sighed, reached for her phone, and downloaded the app.

She stayed up too late that night putting together a profile, agonizing over a picture that showed enough to give an idea of what she looked like without making her immediately recognizable, and how on earth to even describe herself and what she was looking for. She couldn’t exactly put “dark hair, blue eyes, and big boobs,” could she? Besides, maybe she needed someone who didn’t remind her of Jade.

Over the next few weeks, Tori balanced work, school, auditions (including a few for movie roles that she thought she might definitely be suited for), and scissHER. Her first several matches didn’t really go anywhere beyond exchanging a few messages, and one or the other of them deciding they weren’t interested. She met one woman for coffee, but in person, there was no spark. Luckily, they both felt it, too, and agreed to be friends, parting with a platonic hug, certain that they’d never see each other again.

Then, Tori started exchanging messages with Meghan, and when they met for coffee, there was definitely some attraction.

Meghan was Tori’s age, cute, friendly, and nothing at all like Jade. She was from someplace rural, loved horses, and was in an Environment Science graduate program. They didn’t have a lot in common--though Tori was interested in science, Meghan’s knowledge so far outstripped hers that it was hard to even have a dialogue about it--but Tori liked that she was passionate about something.

When they kissed after their coffee date, it wasn’t electric, but nonetheless, Tori drove home smiling.

Meghan was clear that she didn’t want to rush into anything, and that was alright with Tori, so they met up a few more times, for food, once to see a movie, without doing more than kissing during and after their dates. But then, in a move that clearly took a lot of courage, Meghan took her home.

And the sex was...fine, if a little awkward. Though Tori couldn’t help but hear in her head the thing that Jade said, all through their relationship: everything was different with a new person. It had certainly been different with Addison, too.

It seemed unfair to compare, but Tori wondered if maybe she shouldn’t feel more strongly about what was occurring between herself and Meghan.

They met up a few more times, and the sex was getting a little better. And then, Meghan asked something of Tori.

“Can I show you something? Like, some porn that I like?” Meghan bit her lip nervously at the request.

Tori blinked. This was new, and she was definitely curious. “Yeah, sure.”

Meghan picked up her PearBook and navigated a private browser to SpankSpace, and a few keywords later, she was pulling up a video.

The video started with a logo for the company that produced it, and then several short clips of two women kissing, then scissoring (uselessly, Tori noted, as their labia _weren’t even touching_ ), eating pussy, fingering (Tori shuddered, having already noticed the long nails the actresses wore).

Tori glanced at Meghan skeptically, already worried about having to express an opinion about her taste in porn, but Meghan’s eyes were fixed on the screen, so Tori turned her attention back there.

The porn started out with a rather long introduction involving a lady police officer making a house call, claiming that someone from the residence had called regarding an intruder and insisting on coming inside to check the premises, but it quickly devolved into said police officer performing a _very_ detailed and invasive pat-down and cavity search on the lingerie-clad homeowner, with a lot of ordering around, grabbing and restraining wrists, and generally maneuvering the woman where she wanted her to go. Handcuffs even came out at one point, more of a threat and a brief means of subduing the woman than anything else.

But just as the lingerie-clad woman was naked and the cop was beginning to finger her, Meghan paused the video. “That’s the part I like,” she confessed to Tori, “The porn part is...whatever, but like the cop part is hot to me.”

“Okay,” Tori said thoughtfully. She could see the appeal. “Thank you for showing me.”

They didn’t talk about it any more that night, because Meghan, clearly worked up from watching her porn introduction, set her PearBook aside and practically dragged Tori on top of her.

Maybe Tori should have expected that Meghan was showing her that porn clip for a reason, but she was still pretty surprised when they met up again and as they were making out, Meghan pulled away to issue a specific request.

“Do you think you could...you know...act like a cop for me?”

Tori took a moment to process the request. She was hesitant, but then, she also took in the shy way Meghan was asking, the way Meghan had been very direct about a lot of her needs. Tori was game, sure. It was performance. That’s what she did.

“Sure, I can do that,” she murmured, and they got out of bed to start playing a bit.

 _Don’t think of your dad_ , Tori told herself repeatedly. Her dad actually wasn’t in the police force anymore; he’d started grappling with the ethics of policing in recent years and eventually quit to start his own security company, mostly providing private security for celebrities or events. But in her mind, policing was still something she associated with him. Maybe it had something to do with only seeing him once or twice a year.

Instead, Tori thought of another police officer, and dusted off the character of Officer Pedesko. It was weirdly easy, but then, she’d embodied the role for an entire evening when she was a teenager, and stepping back into the skin of a woman with bad makeup, a thick accent, and a love for breakfast cereal felt almost natural.

And they improvised an arrest scene. Meghan wasn’t necessarily the best improv partner Tori had ever had, but Tori was in the position of making most of the decisions about what was occurring. So she pretended to stop Meghan on the street, claiming she looked exactly like someone who had just fled the scene of a crime (Tori was intentionally unspecific, because actual crime was pretty unsexy). This led to forcing Meghan against a wall, a thorough pat-down, and pretending to arrest her (even if Meghan had a pair of handcuffs, Tori was not about to touch those again).

And, toward the end of the scene, as Tori held Meghan’s hands behind her back, leaning into her so her chest and cheek were pressed against the wall, Tori whispered in Officer Pedesko’s accent, “What should I do with you now?”

“Bend me over the bed and fuck me,” Meghan moaned.

So Tori got Meghan out of her pants and proceeded to do just that. And weirdly, embodying Officer Pedesko brought Tori closer to Meghan than she’d felt the entire time they’d been dating.

The two of them sort of drifted apart after that, however. It was mutual, and after a few attempts to get together and both of them being busy, they chatted over text and agreed they should go their separate ways. Tori wasn’t heartbroken about it, but she did kind of miss having fun with someone else.

Tori met more women on scissHER, including a few that she probably kept seeing for longer than she should have because they resembled Jade a little bit, but Meghan was the one she actually dated the longest.

By the time summer was winding down, Tori was getting pretty frustrated with app dating. At least she was working, even getting a couple of parts in Lifemark movies, and her last semester had gone well. In August, however, she got news that she’d landed a multi-episode guest role on Addison’s sitcom, _Broke City Girl Friends_ , to be filmed that fall.

It probably shouldn’t have surprised Tori, but when she arrived on set and saw Addison, it was like they picked up exactly where they left off after _Whisper Creek_. The lingering gazes, the flirtation, even right down to the stolen kisses in Addison’s trailer, the very first day Tori was there.

The news had already broken about Tori being on the show, which stirred up activity in the fan community that had built up around their characters on _Whisper Creek_. And it seemed that their antics, and the social media presence, hadn’t escaped the notice of their publicists.

Tori’s management team met with her after her first week on _Broke City Girl Friends_. And basically, after a conversation in which Tori got flustered trying to explain that she and Addison certainly weren’t dating but also, like, weren’t _disinterested_ in each other, it came down to this: her team thought it would be good for her image to be seen with Addison. Like, out and about, getting meals, seeing movies, whatever. They already had a passionate and dedicated fan base, they had palpable chemistry when they were together, and besides, wasn’t it a bit weird that Tori, so young and attractive, hadn’t dated anyone publicly since she moved to Canada? And Addison’s career was on better footing than Tori’s was right now, so being connected to her could only benefit Tori.

It all made sense to her, but Tori had one stipulation. “Okay, but I’m not going to say that I’m in a relationship with someone when I’m _not_.”

Her team assured her that this would be fine. They didn’t have to make any declarations of love or commitment, just date each other. Publicly.

By the time her meeting was over, she had a text from Addison, inviting her over to talk. Which also wasn’t surprising, because Addison had been hinting all week on set that they should get together over the weekend.

“So I guess we should talk,” Tori said when she arrived.

“Sure, I guess,” Addison agreed.

“So...I’m guessing you got the same talk about, um, us dating?”

“Yeah,” Addison shrugged. “What about it?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought we should talk about it?”

Addison eyed her, “If you want to. I mean. We already like hooking up and hanging out, so...it seemed like a good deal to me.”

“No, I agree,” Tori said, “I just figured, you know...we should make sure we’re on the same page,” she finished lamely.

Addison just laughed, “As far as I’m concerned, we’re friends with benefits who let the paps take some pictures every once in a while. That work for you?”

“That about clears it up,” Tori agreed.

“Good,” Addison’s hands slid down to Tori’s hips and drew her closer, “Then come here.”

Tori certainly welcomed the rekindling of their sexual connection. There was a chemistry between them that she’d missed with Meghan, even if it lacked the affection that Tori had enjoyed with Meghan. Last summer, the handful of times they’d hooked up, it was pretty standard, though Tori did notice that Addison liked to talk during sex.

But as they started spending more time together, ending up at either one of their apartments after hanging out in the city, making sure they were seen, Addison started talking even more during sex. It started as idle dirty talk of the “yeah, you like fucking me?” and “fuck me harder,” and “I’m gonna eat that pussy until you scream” variety. One time, after they’d gotten each other off, during which Addison had begged Tori to “fuck me until I can’t see,” they lay together on Addison’s bed, recovering. There was some tactile, physical contact, cuddling more for the sake of connection than affection, and Tori tried for some pillow talk. Or really, she was seeking feedback.

“So, like...it seems like you like dirty talk?” she asked. Addison’s response was to merely raise her eyebrows, but she didn’t say anything. “Did you want me to, like...say stuff like that, too?” Tori asked.

Addison shrugged, “Sure, that might be hot.”

“So, what kind of things?” Tori asked.

Addison’s brow furrowed, “What?”

“Like, what do you like to hear?”

Addison pulled out from under Tori's arm slung over her midsection to get out of bed. “I don’t know, whatever you want. You know what I like.”

“But I don’t,” Tori protested. She’d been studying more about human sexuality, due to her psychology major, in which she’d decided to focus on sex education. She knew that talking about this kind of thing was important, and the last thing she wanted was to accidentally bust out some dirty talk that might be disturbing or triggering in the middle of sex.

“You’ll be fine,” Addison dismissed Tori’s line of questioning, looking for her underwear to start re-dressing.

It was frustrating, but maybe Addison was a little shy outside of the bedroom. Tori figured they might be able to have a better conversation about it later.

But soon, Tori started to realize that what Addison liked in bed was a little more complicated, because she was starting to issue some specific requests in bed. But like, only in bed.

Next time, it was “hold me down,” whispered into Tori’s ear as they were making out.

“Like this?” Tori asked quietly, pinning Addison’s hands above her head.

Addison moaned softly, “Yeah, baby, make me yours.”

Tori had no idea what _that_ even meant, so she just continued kissing Addison, trailing lips down to her chest, where it was relatively safe to leave hickeys.

“Bite me,” Addison almost snarled, arms straining under the pressure of Tori’s hands.

“Okay,” Tori breathed against Addison’s breast, watching the way it made her nipple peak. She let her mouth get a little rougher with the soft flesh, teeth sinking in and scraping as Addison begged for it to be harder, until Addison keened. “Are you okay?” Tori asked in alarm.

“Yes,” Addison growled, “Fuck me until I can’t walk.”

So Tori did. Or well, figuratively, she did.

It seemed to go well, judging by the intensity of Addison’s orgasm. Tori was generally happy to roll with requests like that, and didn’t entirely know what to even ask Addison about. She knew that it would probably be better if some of this stuff was talked about beforehand, so she figured she’d try that.

So the next time they met up, as Addison started kissing her, Tori pulled away enough to ask, “How rough do you want me to get with you?”

Addison frowned, “I don’t know, you know what I like.”

“I just want some clarity,” Tori said, sighing and already losing focus as Addison kissed her neck.

“I’ll tell you what I want,” Addison murmured.

And she did, this time including requests to “slap my tits,” and “bite my clit,” both of which made Tori say, “What? How hard?” only to get a very nonspecific response. So Tori did it, though with extreme trepidation, worrying about the level of intensity.

The first time Tori said, “I’m not going to do that,” in the middle of sex was when Addison requested to be choked. Tori had read enough about the dangers of breath play, especially when performed with hands on the throat, that this was a hard limit for her. Something, she thought, that Addison might already _know_ if she actually would have a conversation about sex outside of actually being in the middle of sex.

Another time she said, “I’m not going to do that,” was when Addison asked to be scratched until she bled. Tori was fine with scratching, even kind of hard scratching, but not blood. Maybe it stemmed from the time Robbie dropped a pint of her blood on the floor of the hospital and it got _all over_ Tori, but she wasn’t all that fond of seeing it, especially the idea of seeing it under her fingernails, and, okay, maybe Tori was a little squeamish.

It had reached the point where she had to try to talk to Addison again. “Hey, I’m really enjoying what we’re doing,” Tori said as they relaxed in the afterglow, “But I just want to be clear about what we both want. You know, like negotiate what we can do together?”

But Addison just laughed awkwardly, “Why would we have to do that, if it’s working for both of us?”

“Because it’s safer?” Tori tried.

“Oh, you worry too much.” Addison kissed her, and reached between her legs to initiate another round of sex. Tori knew she was being intentionally distracted, but it was difficult to care when Addison was so good with her hands.

That was when she decided to seek out Patrice’s advice. They still talked pretty regularly, and Patrice knew that she’d been sleeping with Addison. This time, however, Tori started telling her about her difficulty in getting Addison to actually talk about what they were doing in bed together.

“And, I mean, mostly it’s hot. It’s like, half the things she asks me to do are things I’m fine to just go along with, half are things where like, I’m down but uncertain, but I can’t get her to tell me more so I sort of end up winging it, and half are things I’m not interested in at all, and okay I know I just said three halves, shut up.”

Patrice chuckled, but her voice was serious. “Three halves sounds like the least of your worries. Tori, you’re basically sleeping with a landmine.”

Tori frowned, “I mean, I know it’s not ideal but I don’t think it’s that bad. At least we’re mostly compatible. And she knows I don’t really like things as rough as she does, and she’s never pushed me to do anything I don’t want to do.”

“I hear that,” Patrice said, “But you guys really need to talk outside of the bedroom before one of you gets hurt.”

“I’ve _tried_ ,” Tori protested, “She won’t do it. She just shuts down, clams up, distracts me. She’s incapable! It’s absurd because she’s so filthy in bed.”

“I can only speculate about why she’s like that,” Patrice replied, “But she’s basically enacting edgeplay with you without actually discussing parameters or limits. You need to break up with her.”

“We’re not even really in a relationship,” Tori sighed. She realized this meant Patrice was suggesting Addison’s behavior was risky, but it really didn’t feel that serious.

“Then that should make it easier,” Patrice said reasonably.

Tori knew she was probably right (Patrice usually was, she’d learned), but also, there was something about Addison that made it hard to want to stop. Maybe it was because the times when it really _did_ work between them, it was scorching. And besides, if they were supposed to be “dating” anyway, why not enjoy the benefits? It felt more disingenuous to be seen on “dates” around the town if they weren’t even sleeping together.

So they continued seeing each other every once in a while. It seemed like it might be getting easier as Tori got better at figuring out what Addison liked. She even tried talking a few more times, but got nowhere.

The problem was, Addison kept busting out new surprises when they were together. One particularly memorable instance was the time that they were on Addison’s bed, with Tori grinding on her thigh while fingering her, and Addison took Tori’s earlobe gently into her mouth before whispering, “You should fuck me with a strap-on.”

Well. Tori was certainly interested in _that_ scenario. “Okay,” she murmured against her neck, scraping her teeth but not hard enough to leave a mark, “We can go buy one.”

“No, baby,” Addison laughed, an intoxicatingly alluring sound, “There’s one in the bathroom. Go put it on. It should be your size.”

Tori paused, lifting her head to regard Addison, and she was definitely one hundred percent serious. Tori blinked, letting her brain catch up. Of all the surprises Addison had sprung on her, this might be the one she was most excited about. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured, leaning down to nip at Addison’s collarbone before rising off of her.

“I’ll be here,” Addison drawled, “Keeping myself warm for you.”

Tori turned to witness her with her legs spread, making a very obvious presentation of the way she was fingering herself. Tori got caught up in watching for a moment before she hurried off to the bathroom connected to Addison’s bedroom.

And, indeed, on the bathroom counter, there were two unopened packages: one containing an underwear-style harness, and one containing what looked to be a good quality tan flesh-colored dildo.

Tori tore into both packages, marveling at the fact that Addison had clearly bought them just for them to use tonight. Okay, that was interesting. She read the packaging. Should she wash the dildo? Probably. She washed it in the sink with liquid hand soap as thoroughly as she could. It wasn’t actually difficult to attach the dildo to the harness, but Tori’s brain didn’t seem to be working as quickly as it should be. Probably because all her blood had rushed south at the prospect of this.

“Hurry up!” she heard Addison’s voice through the bathroom door, “Or I’m gonna finish myself off without you.”

“No, please don’t!” Tori called back, “I just had to take it all out of the boxes and put it together, I’m almost…” She willed herself to focus, and moments later had the dildo slipped into the ring on the harness and pulled the underwear-style garment up over her body. She adjusted everything as well as she could, and once it was in place, it was clear that Addison had bought the right size, and that it was a much better strap-on harness than the cheap one she and Jade had bought in college.

Tori walked out of the bathroom, trying for confident, but truthfully, even when the harness fit right it was hard not to feel a little awkward with a new appendage attached to her body that she could feel bouncing with her steps.

Addison sat up in bed, withdrawing her fingers from herself and grinning widely. She stepped off the bed smoothly and walked to meet Tori. “Fuck yeah,” she murmured, taking her in. “I’m gonna suck that big cock of yours, baby.”

Tori’s mouth dropped open, because she certainly hadn’t been expecting _that_. “Okay,” she replied dazedly, letting Addison guide her over to the bed, where she gently pushed Tori to sit on the edge.

Addison dropped to her knees in front of Tori, running her nails down Tori’s thighs, a little harder than she usually did, but Tori wasn’t complaining, because Addison held the dildo in her hand (and _okay_ , the way she was grinding the base down against her clit felt _nice_ ) and then Tori watched as she wrapped her lips around the tip.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Tori uttered, brain utterly overtaken by the shock of sensation as the movements of Addison’s mouth and hand ground the toy against Tori’s clit, of the visual stimulation of Addison’s lips wrapped around it, of the hum of delight muffled around the toy. Tori fell backwards onto the bed, mind spinning. “Oh, _fuck_ ,” she said again.

And there was no getting around it, not when everything was so new and so intense, and Tori’s hips were already quivering as her hair-trigger orgasmic response flared to life, and so quickly, Tori was coming, shuddering and moaning as Addison continued the motion of her mouth.

As Tori recovered, she heard Addison release the toy from her lips with an audible _pop_. “You liked that, huh?” she asked, delight in her voice, “I’m gonna take your whole cock.”

“Uh huh,” Tori breathed, trying to collect her thoughts. She stayed on her back for a moment, wondering if she might come again if the sensation Addison was providing continued.

But her haze was broken as she heard a loud retching sound.

Tori’s head shot up to take in Addison, clearly gagging, tears in the corners of her eyes and on her cheeks. “Are you okay?!” Tori asked in alarm, sitting up entirely.

Addison lifted her head (geez, she’d gotten a _lot_ of that in her mouth), grinning from ear to ear, “You’re so big, I’m choking on it,” she told Tori with pleasure.

“Um, I think that’s enough of the, uh, blowjob,” Tori said, blinking to try to clear the image of Addison choking on the dildo from her brain. It was hard to do when there were still tears on her cheeks. That wasn’t something she’d wanted to be surprised with.

“Oh, you’re ready to fuck me?” Addison asked, and she stood up, hands on Tori’s shoulders, “I can’t wait to have your thick cock inside me.”

Fuck, why was this sexy? “Me neither,” Tori murmured, “How do you want me to--oh.” She stopped talking, because Addison was just climbing onto her lap.

Addison moaned, loud and throaty, as she simply sank right down onto the strap-on, and Tori found herself moaning in response, raising her hands to rest them on Addison’s hips. And Addison was already lifting herself and slamming back down, riding Tori with a wild energy that Tori could barely keep up with. “Oh, yeah, slap my ass!” Addison nearly yelled. So Tori did it, hitting each side with her hands. “Harder!” Addison demanded. Tori obliged, body feeling hot with the way it made Addison moan. “Oh, yeah, fuck me, Daddy!” Addison practically screamed.

It was probably the last thing Tori wanted to hear during sex, and, she imagined, the last thing Addison’s _roommates_ wanted to hear, but yet, with the frantic thrusts of Addison’s hips, with the kind of delightfully tactile sensation of slapping her ass, and with the moans filling her ears, when Addison started coming, Tori found that she followed along with her, into a second, more intense orgasm than her first one.

But a small part of Tori felt a little bit unsettled at the orgasm, like a bad taste in her mouth that she couldn’t get rid of.

She talked to Patrice about it when that sense of unease lingered.

“I mean, it was pretty hot, for the most part. Jade and I never really got to do strap-on stuff and that was something I’d wanted to try, and I like _definitely_ came twice from it, um,” Tori realized Patrice didn’t quite need that much detail.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Patrice replied, sounding amused, “But you said it was bothering you.”

“Yeah,” Tori sighed, then described the way Addison choked on the toy after Tori’s first orgasm. “And like...I can’t get the image out of my mind. Like, I couldn’t even make sense of what was going on at first, and it just...freaked me out. I wasn’t expecting to see it.”

She heard Patrice hesitate, then she said, “I _did_ say you should break up with her because her avoidant communication was dangerous.”

Tori sighed, “Okay, okay, you can tell me you told me so later.”

“How about I tell you now?” Patrice said playfully. Tori groaned, but then Patrice was continuing, “Seriously, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to shame you, you’re an adult and can make your own choices.”

“No, I deserved that,” Tori sighed, “It’s just...I don’t want to shame _her_ , either, because like, maybe if we’d talked about this it wouldn’t be haunting me like this. And like, good for her for knowing what she wants in bed, because she definitely makes it happen for herself. But _goddamn it_ , why can’t she ever talk about it when we’re not naked?”

“Could be a lot of things. Shame, maybe,” Patrice suggested, “If her partners are already wound up, there’s less of a risk of getting a judgmental response. But that’s not the important part. Because you having limits is not the same thing as shaming her. And if she can’t even discuss those with you, she doesn’t deserve access to your body.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Tori sighed.

“Sometimes, it is that simple. Break it off with her, Tori. That uneasy feeling you described to me? That’s your gut. It’s telling you you’re not in a safe situation. Listen to your gut.”

“Then why was it so hot, too?” Tori whined.

Patrice laughed, “Because nothing is ever simple with you, Tori. We have that in common. But seriously. Let this hot encounter be your last one and you can end things on a good note.”

This time, Tori actually listened to her friend and told Addison they needed to take a break from sleeping together. Addison didn’t seem hurt by it, and they continued hanging out and being seen in public together, though a little less often. It felt a little more like lying, but at least the uncomfortable feeling in Tori’s chest went away.

-

Production for _Not My Problem_ had gone smoothly and everyone was impressed with Jade’s natural abilities on set. She wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted, she knew how to communicate her needs to each department, and she had a great rapport with her cast. The producers were happy with her footage, only offering minor notes as they let her navigate the project. It felt too good to be true. And yet, by the end of the summer, she was watching the latest cut on the movie, the one that might be the final cut if everything played out right.

Lana was there, too, having come on as a producer later in the post-production stages so they could find the extra funding they needed to round out a few things. This had meant they were around each other, even more. Lana had a place in the city, and she was originally from New Jersey, so she was always full of tips about where to go for the best sushi or where to thrift for vintage camera lenses (photography was a hobby Jade found impossible not to pick up living in New York). Their friendship was easy, natural, and occasionally flirtatious.

Once the picture was locked and they weren’t technically working together, things shifted. There were more dinners out, just the two of them, and eventually a late night at Jade’s new favorite bar (one that was all dark wood and leather) found them lazily kissing in a booth tucked in the back corner. At this point, it had been a year since that first audition and they’d been collaborating for months. So when Lana suggested they go back to her place, there wasn’t any reason not to. For the first time in years, Jade fell asleep comfortably wrapped around someone else.

Through the holiday season, it became obvious that something was happening between them, not just to each other, but to the people around them. Lana’s team loved the idea of them being seen together, as did the production company. They were slated to hit all the major festivals, starting in February, so as much press they could get was welcomed.

Jade didn’t love the paparazzi that waited for her outside of Lana’s building, trying to catch a photo whenever she came or went. They were at least more chill than the Los Angeles breed of paps. She learned to navigate them, amused at how she could actually verbally abuse them to their delight if she did it cleverly enough.

The interest in the couple increased when Lana asked Jade to move in with her. Jade’s production-expensed sublet had ended when the film had locked at the end of August and she’d been lucky that the space was still available through the end of the year. But it was really more than she could afford on the long term, so she’d been looking to downsize.

“What if you just stay with me?” Lana asked.

They were in her apartment, waiting on a delivery from the Italian place they liked. It had only been a few months of dating or whatever, but they’d known each other for a while. Still, Jade wondered, “You think that’s not moving too fast?”

“We’re doing festivals and press all next year, we’ll barely even be home. Why waste money on some crappy apartment you’ll hardly even use?”

It was a good argument. And Jade wasn’t in a financial position to resist. She also wasn’t in any position to say no to this woman. They’d really connected and Jade was starting to recognize that maybe feelings were on the table. The true test would come with all the travel they were set to do together over the next year.

“I will agree to moving in...if you will finally agree to watch all those Hammer Horror movies you keep claiming you’ll check out but never do.”

“I’m not sure how I ended up having to negotiate here,” Lana said, eyes narrowed. “But I accept the terms.”

Jade spent the week after Christmas packing up her things and hauling them across the bridge into Manhattan to Lana’s uptown apartment where was an actual view of Central _fucking_ Park.

She wasn’t sure how all this was still happening, but she definitely wasn’t going to fight it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Section title from _Against All Odds_ by Phil Collins (but in my head it's still the Mariah Carey version)


	3. Prologue, Part Three: Just the memory of your face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final section of the prologue. This journey is wild and we know it can be difficult to see these two with other people. But here's the promise...after this, after we get through this epic novella of a prologue, things start happening. Like, Tori and Jade things.
> 
> So, we're illuminating the _fasten seat-belt_ sign for this turbulent, final descent into the Los Angeles area. Please keep your chairs and tray tables in their full and upright positions and we'll see you all on the ground.

**Prologue, Part Three**

**2019**

It was another round of pilot season and Tori was starting to feel the weight of auditioning like she really hadn’t before. She was pushing toward her mid-twenties, something that didn’t feel like it should be that big of a deal, but her management team kept reminding her about her age, giving her tips on how to start dressing younger for her auditions. It had worked up until now, certain looks would land her the guest spots on teen shows, but this time around...it didn’t seem to be quite as effective. In fact, one of the casting agents directly told her, “Honey, you’re really starting to look too mature for high school work.”

Okay, fine. She could grapple with that, she could go out for college roles or whatever. But then, the critiques started coming at her from the other direction.

“I’ll be honest, you’re just not _sexy_ enough to carry a role like this.” This particular producer put his hands up, “Not to say you aren’t gorgeous, but we’re looking for someone a little more...worldly.”

Great, so was she supposed to start showing more boob at auditions, then? Maybe she could chew some gum and wear leopard print heels. Addison seemed to think it was worth a shot, but Tori just couldn’t bring herself to put on a fake persona. It reminded her too much of her bad experience with Neutronium Records.

Tori continued as she always had, preparing the material, doing the best she could. The hard work had to pay off, somehow, she believed that. Finally, she landed a TV movie, something that would shoot in the fall to air around Christmas. It was a decent gig, given that it was a holiday movie on Lifemark and they re-ran those movies all the time, every year. The residual payout would be something she could rely on for a while.

The movie shot in Toronto, sometime in September. It was a TV movie so it wouldn’t have a schedule much longer than a couple of weeks, so it allowed her to continue with the auditions through the summer, trying to land something else, but mostly she was living on what she’d managed to save from _Whisper Creek_. For the first time, she was really beginning to wonder if Vancouver was the best place to be. She’d liked that it felt smaller than LA, that the size of the talent pool allowed her a chance to stand out when she’d been a fresh face. But now she was “that actress from the cancelled show” who was too old and not sexy enough.

Maybe there was some appeal in being just another cute brunette up against a hundred others, which is what she imagined the LA casting calls to be like. Maybe it was time to consider going back home to California.

She wasn’t making any big decisions anytime soon, she still had the movie in Toronto, she still had this _thing_ with Addison. Maybe things could turn around.

Or maybe Tori could.

-

Jade’s year was full of firsts.

Her first feature film premiere. Her first trip to Sundance. Her first agonizing Q & A session where people asked annoying questions that made her want to scream, “Did you even _watch_ the movie, wazz-brain?”

It was also the first time she’d lived with someone (even if she and Lana were constantly packing and unpacking in hotels, they were settling in together as girlfriends). It was the first time Jade was truly and effectively fucked with a strap-on (she hadn’t expected it to be _that_ effective, but _damn_ Lana knew what she was doing). It was the first time she walked red carpets and posed for photos against a bank of blinding flashes (she’d even brought her mother along to a couple of the LA events, and all the attention was something Tiffany West ate up with a spoon). She’d expected these things to happen, she knew she’d be successful, she’d wanted this for a long time. She’d just spent a long time assuming it would be with Tori.

But Tori wasn’t here, Tori was in Canada, Tori was a part of her past and Jade was now working on her future.

-

“I don’t really like it.” Tori was sitting in her management team’s office where her publicist, Geena, had just pitched an idea that was good in theory but terrible in every way Tori could imagine it playing out.

“I think it’s a great idea,” said Addison, who was also there, because it involved her, too. In fact, both of their teams were crammed into the space, making it feel that much more awkward.

Geena kept her attention on Tori. “The fact is that Jade West has been a darling at nearly every major festival this year, so being seen with her, maybe just having a drink or something, would really benefit the both of you.”

“The _fact is_ that Jade West is my ex-girlfriend who I haven’t spoken to in years because things didn’t end well.” That part was apparently news to a few people in the room.

“Then,” began Marq, Addison’s publicist, “wouldn’t it be a great angle for you to have a chance to smooth things over? Have a chat, celebrate your successes, then move on?”

Yeah, that’d be great. Tori would _love_ that. But not in front of a bunch of camped out photographers who planned to post it across all of the film blogs and social media. She looked at Addison, who really was the one who stood to benefit the most from this. Tori had already kind of checked out of her career, at least this particular leg of it. She knew Jade had a girlfriend, that she was apparently head over heels for Lana Blackwood (who wouldn’t be), that they were living together in New York, that they’d charmed every reporter on the red carpet as they promoted their movie. She’d convinced herself it was all a stunt, publicity to sell the film, something to give the public to latch onto. Now that she had experience inside of this machine, knowing what the clickbait headlines looked like when she met Addison for lunch (“The romance never ended for these two _Whisper Creek_ stars”), she assumed that was the standard.

And given this meeting, this attempt to set the four of them up on some kind of professional meet-cute, Tori felt justified in her assessment. Maybe she could go along with it. But she had one more question.

“What does Jade think about this?”

-

“No. What? Are you _kidding me_?” Jade was pacing the living room of the apartment. Two members of Lana’s management team, Jade’s agent, and three other people Jade had never seen before were on the digital video conference call displayed on the large flat screen.

Marq, who was apparently the publicist for Addison Cole, a C-list TV actress and Tori’s latest girlfriend or whatever, said, “Look we’re just asking for a quick meet-up. Have a drink, reminisce, laugh a little, everyone’s happy.”

Jade looked over at Lana who was calmly reclining on the couch with a glass of wine. “You really have nothing to say about this?” she asked.

Lana shrugged. “It’s part of the business. I’ve had people do similar stuff for me, over time. And, to be honest, it doesn’t sound that bad.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not _your_ ex-girlfriend,” Jade shot back.

“She has a fair point,” Lana said, looking past Jade at the screen of faces.

“What would it take to make this work?” Marq asked.

Jade scoffed. “This isn’t a negotiation. I’m not interested in palling around with my ex and her latest fling just to boost their careers.”

“Hey, can we just have a minute?” Lana asked the screen of faces. They all agreed and she tapped the CAMERA OFF and MUTE buttons on the PearPhone app that was synced to the video call.

Meanwhile, Jade had her face in her hand, fingers pressing against her eyes. “I hate this.”

Lana was up off the couch and moving in front of her. “Jade, I know this sucks. This is one of those shitty parts of being in this business, but it’s what lets us get to the parts we actually like.”

“I just, I don’t see why it has to be me. And you. They want to use us.” Jade frowned, but she allowed Lana to slip her arms around her.

“We can say no. But I also think it’s important that we, as two queer women in this fucked up business, maybe consider what this means outside of ourselves.”

This was the thing about Lana, she was super into yoga and meditation and all kinds of zen crap, which meant she usually had good points about not being selfish. Jade sighed and tipped her head forward, letting Lana’s lips catch against her forehead in a kiss. “Fine. I guess that’s...workable. But I don’t want it to be a big thing.”

By the time they’d hung up the call, Jade and Lana had agreed to one drink, no longer than thirty minutes, with Addison and Tori at an afterparty at the Toronto International Film Festival.

Jade hoped it would be worth the trouble for at least one of them.

-

The film festival timed out to fall just after filming had wrapped on Tori’s movie, so the idea of attending a screening or two before meeting Jade West and Lana Blackwood for a drink actually sounded like a fun way to round out the trip to Toronto. Addison flew out the day before they were scheduled to attend the festival and Tori had made sure it was clear she was getting her own room at the hotel, just to maintain their boundaries.

Jade’s movie wasn’t actually set to screen until the next day and Tori wasn’t sure how she would have felt if she’d been expected to sit in a public theater and watch it. She was curious, but she could wait until it was something she could do on her own time, alone. Instead, they’d been comped tickets to an Aubrey Plaza comedy that Tori was excited about.

Even with the newly-established parameters of their “showmance” friendship, Tori couldn’t help feeling that this night out with Addison looked and felt a lot like a date: She agonized over what to wear, they walked the step-and-repeat carpet together so they could be photographed over and over and over, they even shared a bucket of popcorn inside the theater. It at least felt nice to be hanging out with someone she liked. Which...Tori still _liked_ Addison as a person. They laughed easily together, enjoyed the same kinds of movies (they were loving this Aubrey Plaza picture, for sure), and traded workout playlists fairly regularly. In short, Tori was glad to have someone she considered a friend to be by her side as they geared up to meet Jade and Lana.

It had been impossible not to see The Indie It Couple all over social media. The basic industry trade publications Tori followed on SplashFace and Spectrogram seemed to love posting stories about Jade’s movie and the “real-life couple” who made it happen. Usually she just clicked past (after taking a cursory glance at Jade, just to see how she was looking, lately) and pretended she didn’t care. And, like, she didn’t care. Except that she was, you know, glad to hear Jade was doing well. Even after everything, she wanted Jade to find the success she deserved. Which she had.

And now Tori was about to try and leverage that for herself.

They were two steps from the door to the bar of the after party and Tori considered what the aftermath might be if she decided not to go in.

-

Jade had already hit the bottom of her first Jameson and Ginger when she spotted the unmistakable figure of Tori Vega crossing the bar toward where she and Lana were sitting. Tori looked...great. She was dressed casually but well put together (and, of course the damn outfit was capped off with a blazer), looking older than Jade remembered, but just in the sense that they weren’t college kids, anymore. With her was Addison Cole, probably the person who stood to benefit the most from this ridiculous meet-up.

After an awkward round of introductions, the four were seated around the small bar table, Tori and Addison placing drink orders with the server before squaring off with the couple across from them.

“I just have to say,” Tori began. Oh, chiz-on-a-cracker, what was this going to be? “Lana, I really loved what you did in _The Archaeologist_ ,” she said, referencing a movie from a few years ago. “It’s such an incredible performance.” From anyone else it would seem like ass-kissing, but Jade knew Tori was being genuine because that’s the kind of nerd she was.

“Oh my god, thank you,” Lana replied, accepting the compliment with ease, something Jade noticed she’d really shaped into an art. “It was such a wonderful script and I’m so glad to have done it.” She sipped her martini, watching as the server placed the new drink order on the table. “And you two, I mean...the way you really fought for that arc on _Whisper Creek_. Even though it was cut short, it was groundbreaking.”

“The fans really helped keep that energy alive, to be honest,” said Addison.

Jade watched as the rest of the table stroked each other’s egos, annoyed by it but also irritated that no one was talking about her movie, the reason they were even all here. Tori kept glancing at her, maybe expecting her to say something, but it was weird to have Tori look in her direction without, you know, trying to catch a glimpse of cleavage. Not that she _wanted_ her to. It just wasn’t what Jade was used to.

When Jade did finally speak up, she said, “If you’ll excuse me a moment, I’ll be right back.” She felt Lana’s hand on her arm, just a reassuring squeeze, then Jade rose from the table and headed toward the restrooms.

-

Tori watched as Jade left the group and, after a moment, decided this was probably her only chance to chat with her, alone. Her chair scraped against the floor as she pushed it back, drawing more attention that necessary to herself. She mumbled, “I’ll just be a second,” as she stood and followed the path Jade had taken. She pushed open the door to the women’s room where Jade stood at the mirror, her eyes on Tori in the reflection as she entered. There was another woman washing her hands, just on the other side of Jade, causing Tori to hesitate.

“What are you doing here?” Jade asked.

“Our teams set us up, remember?”

Jade rolled her eyes so hard, Tori felt like she’d been thrown back to high school by the force of the action. “Why are you _here_?” Jade flung a hand in the air, almost smacking the woman who was just trying to cross to the paper towel dispenser. “Sorry,” she muttered before turning her attention back to Tori, this time with direct eye contact.

Tori didn’t know why she was there, in this bathroom, now alone, because the other woman had left after awkwardly smiling as she passed by. Her lack of an answer left Jade with a smirk on her mouth and Tori wanted to wipe it away, to make her actually listen the way she did, once upon a time. “I…” Jade’s arms crossed, which somehow gave Tori resolve. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Jade laughed, though it was one of those _are you fucking serious_ laughs and Tori knew she only had about three seconds to make her point.

She intended to say something about how she hadn’t really wanted to participate in this weird meet-up that was supposed to somehow benefit her career. She wanted to say that it was a stupid idea, that she’d rather just go back to LA and start over than have to resort to stunts like this if it’s what her Canadian career had amounted to. Instead, she said, “I’m sorry.” It was followed by a long exhale, a sigh she didn’t realize she’d been holding. There. She’d had a chance to apologize, face-to-face.

“For what, exactly?” Jade asked, head tilted, arms still folded tightly across her chest.

Oh boy. Okay. “For hurting you. For not seeing that I was making a mistake. Jade, I thought I was doing something right, that I was--”

“Tori, just stop.” Jade’s eyes burned, blue like a gas flame, her glare scorching. “You don’t get to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Dump all this on me.”

“I’m not trying to dump anything on--”

“It’s been years. Fucking _years_.” Jade’s arms dropped but only so she could start jabbing a finger at Tori. “I worked _so hard_ to move past you and everything that we were _supposed_ to do together and now that I’m happy where I am, you think you can just corner me in some bar bathroom and _unload all your guilt_?”

Tori couldn’t even find words. She darted her gaze away from Jade, blinking at the tears she felt welling up. Finally, she at least conjured up, “Jade, I’m really _so sorry_.”

Jade shook her head and twisted as she passed Tori, making sure they didn’t make physical contact. Tori turned just enough to watch Jade out of her peripheral vision. But she heard what she said next, loud and clear. “Fuck you, Tori.”

The door opened and closed and then Tori was alone.

-

When Jade returned to the table, she didn’t bother to sit back down. “Let’s go,” she said to Lana.

“I’m still talking with Addison. Did you know she--”

“I _don’t care_ , I’m leaving.” Jade gathered up her purse and jacket, ready to just call herself a car if she needed to. Lana could stay as long as she wanted, but Jade wasn’t about to spend another minute doing this.

Especially now that Tori had rejoined the group. Jade expected her to say something obvious or nerdy or maybe even just pathetic, but instead she grabbed her drink, gulped it down and forcefully placed it back on the table. “We had our one drink. Great to meet you, Lana. Addison, if you’re coming with me, I’m going now.”

“Oh, uh,” Addison looked from Lana to Jade. “I guess we’re going.” She quickly took another deep drink from her own glass, then stood up to follow Tori to the door.

Well, since they were gone, Jade slid back into her chair and picked up her whiskey and ginger ale.

“What in the hell happened?” Lana asked.

“No one listened to me when I said this was a bad idea, that’s what happened.” Jade tipped her glass, letting the ice clink around as she drained its final contents.

She already regretted being so harsh to Tori, but it wasn’t like she could take it back now.

-

By the time Tori and Addison climbed in the back seat of the rideshare they’d requested, Tori had shifted her emotional state from hurt to anger. Who did Jade think she was, saying that to her? All Tori wanted to do was make things right, she hadn’t planned on confronting Jade in the bathroom. It hadn’t even been her dumb idea for them to meet this way.

She hated all of the bullshit around her job, the kind of work that would even think to ask someone to reconnect with an ex-partner for the purpose of “being seen” so “people would talk” and maybe remember to cast her in something every now and then. Fuck that. She also hated this idea of Jade and Lana being together. It didn’t sit right with her and she wanted to say that it was because it seemed far too coincidental for someone to end up dating a childhood crush, that it was too good to be true. But even in their short interaction, Tori could tell Jade was invested in the relationship. She wasn’t sure _how_ she knew, she just did.

So, fine. Jade had moved on. Like really, actually moved on with a beautiful, bisexual icon. Fine. Tori could fuck a queer television star tonight, if she wanted. Well, maybe she should check on that. They were on their way back into the hotel, so now was as good a time as any. “Hey,” she said, quietly to Addison.

She’d been giving Tori space and hadn’t really asked what had happened. “Hmm?”

“I know I said no more sex but, uh,” Tori hoped this didn’t sound as awkward as it felt. “...if you wanted to, I’d be interested.”

Addison’s eyebrows raised. “Yeah?” she asked, a sexy smile pulling on her lips.

“Yes, but,” Tori knew she had to set boundaries, this time. “Please, can we just do it...without all the extra talking and stuff?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you want,” Addison said with a nod.

They headed for Addison’s room, something Tori felt would be easier to deal with when she was ready to be alone. As soon as the door closed, Addison was all over her, tugging Tori’s jacket off, pulling at her shirt. Tori guided them over to the bed, clothes still being untucked, unzipped, discarded until both women were nude and stretched out across the hotel sheets, one atop the other.

“You want me to pretend to be your ex-girlfriend?” Addison whispered in her ear.

What. The fuck. “I don’t care who you pretend to be, just please no more talking,” Tori insisted. But fine, sure, pretend to be Jade. What did it matter?

In response, Addison took Tori’s hand and pressed it against her mouth, groaning against it as Tori groped and trailed her fingers across bare skin. But, this wasn’t going to help with leverage, so she took Addison’s hand and placed it where her own had been, essentially suggesting Addison shut herself up.

Tori had herself straddled over one of Addison’s thighs, one hand pressed against the wetness between the other woman’s legs. If the request was for her to pretend she was fucking Jade, then that’s what she’d do. Tori dropped her head against Addison’s neck while her fingers pushed into her, drawing a hand-muffled moan from Addison. She ground herself down against the firm thigh between her legs, eye screwed shut as she allowed her body to enjoy the friction of it, the pursuit of climax centered around _just being fucking over it_.

There was a point where she noticed Addison reaching down to stimulate herself as Tori fucked her, but Tori wasn’t even that worried about Addison getting off (she knew she’d handle herself, as needed), she just rocked her hips harder, closed her eyes tighter, and couldn’t help that she was thinking about Jade and that icy gaze that still managed to ignite something in her, even if the heat was really just a memory. Some cruel but efficient part of her actor-trained brain pulled up the sense memory of what it had been like to be inside of Jade, the warmth of it, the sounds she made in the back of her throat, the smell of sex, the grip she’d dig into Tori’s shoulder with her fingertips. She came with a shudder and a guttural groan against Addison’s shoulder. Addison was coming, too, seemingly triggered by Tori’s vocal orgasm.

Tori collapsed on the bed as Addison readjusted the sheet over them.

“That was so hot,” Addison said.

It wasn’t an inaccurate observation but Tori was in no mood for it. She quickly began to gather her clothes and pull them on. “I...need to go.”

Addison didn’t really seem to care as she watched Tori from the bed. “What time’s your flight tomorrow? You want to do breakfast? There’s a cute cafe with outdoor seating. Probably good for photos.”

Tori didn’t want to take any damn pictures. But the idea of breakfast appealed to her and Addison was her only ally on this trip to Toronto. “I can meet at nine. But we’re sitting inside.” She said goodnight and made her way to her own room where she immediately showered, packed her bag for the morning and booked a flight for November.

At the very least, she wanted to go home for Thanksgiving.

-

The holiday season was rough on Jade. Shortly after the trip to TIFF, her relationship with Lana had started to crumble. It wasn’t even really anything specific, other than the knowledge that Lana had just booked a major franchise film that was set to film for three months in Prague. That was too long and too far for Jade to feel comfortable about where things were heading. So, before they started regretting each other, Jade made the decision to end it by taking a job as a cinematographer for an indie film down in Atlanta at the end of October.

The job was fine, but it only lasted a month, meaning she was now alone in a new city just in time for Christmas. Ho, Ho fucking Ho. She was at least able to land a gig she never would have considered seeking out, filming the holiday party for the production company that had made the film she’d just worked on. It was easy enough for the kind of money it paid, so Jade made a mental footnote that she could always find work around the holidays, if needed.

Not that she’d need to, especially coming off the year she’d just had.

**2020**

By the new year, Tori was fully a resident of California again, all her belongings in Vancouver brought back, her furniture sold, a subletter ready to take over her lease. Grandma Jean’s guest house was actually a step up from her studio apartment, with slightly more space (no longer did her bed have to double as a couch). Not to mention the access Tori had to the main house. Grandma was getting older, and everyone in the family felt better about having a family member living so close by, particularly since Trina had moved out of the guest house a few years before. Tori tended to see her Grandma at least once a day; they’d have some meals together, sometimes even drank together (Grandma always had Bud Light Lime in her fridge, her drink of choice. It wasn’t necessarily Tori’s favorite thing in the world, but it was certainly drinkable, and she enjoyed the chance to bond with her grandmother).

And, being back in California, Tori had access to her mother’s cannabis creations once again. Even Grandma was indulging, a little, in CBD treats that helped her manage her arthritis. Tori was down to test some of her mother’s other products, and it was actually pretty fun being high around Grandma on occasion because she just laughed about it.

Another great thing about being home: her friends. Spending time with Andre felt like slipping back into a comfortable pair of shoes, because even though they both had changed, everything between them was as easy as it had ever been. His music career was really starting to have legs, and though he was still based in LA, he was starting to get offers to work with musicians in other cities--Chicago, Atlanta, New York. But he knew Tori was looking for work, and of course, he offered her the opportunity to record anything she’d been working on.

But Tori hadn’t written music in years. Not really since high school, anyway, and most of the time, Andre wrote the actual music when they’d performed together. After years of living as an actor, music had become much more of a hobby to her. So though she was grateful for his offer, she felt so rusty with songwriting that she doubted that she’d even feel comfortable in a recording studio anytime soon. Besides, as she considered it, it was really performing live that had excited her the most about music, back in high school. Performance was what she thrived on, less so the perfectionism of recording a flawless track.

Patrice was another friend that Tori had reconnected with right away, and in fact, as soon as Tori had decided around Thanksgiving that she was staying in LA, she received an invitation to dinner at Patrice’s house. Seeing her friend, who she had leaned on for so many years from afar, comfortable in her home (which was full of interesting furniture and eclectic art, and a massive bookshelf in the living room that Tori just wanted to explore in depth), and meeting Patrice’s primary partner, a wickedly funny woman named Janet, made Tori see Patrice in a whole new light, like she’d been really let into her friend’s life. Even watching the way Patrice and Janet interacted, teasing each other in a way that might’ve made Tori mourn her own tragically single state, hadn’t been awkward. Instead, Tori felt at ease in their company, even offering her own jabs at Patrice, much to Janet’s delight.

Cat was also good to reconnect with. She was a lot more level-headed, even-keel than the last time Tori had seen her in person, and Sam was funny, if a little intimidating. Tori was keenly aware of the fact that Sam and Jade had been close, and maybe still were close, and besides, it did feel like she and Sam didn’t start off on the best footing, back when Sam had moved to LA. Tori had been jealous of her friendship with Jade, and, even though they’d met before at the party at Kenan Thompson’s house, Tori was still a little star-struck by her back when Jade was befriending her, nervous to actually talk to the pretty, sarcastic star of a web show she’d watched for years.

Maybe that was why, even being back in LA, she and Cat didn’t see each other much. It wasn’t Sam’s fault, really, but the fact was that being around her reminded Tori of Jade. But Cat was busy working, anyway.

Which, yeah. Working. That was something Tori needed to prioritize.

And though it was a great relief to have housing, to not have to worry about rent (in exchange, Tori helped Grandma run errands, so that she no longer had to drive), Tori knew she wasn’t in LA for a vacation. She was here to work, and she attended auditions, mostly for indie projects and web-series. Los Angeles was a much bigger pond than Vancouver, which Tori knew, and she was expecting it to be difficult to land roles. And though no one was quite as blunt as the producer who told Tori she wasn’t sexy enough, she had a feeling that she was difficult to cast for the exact reasons that had been spelled out for her in Vancouver: too old to play the sweet girl next door, not seasoned enough to play an adult in control of her sexuality.

Nonetheless, Tori needed to make money, because even without rent, living in California was expensive. So Tori threw herself into pilot season in February, attending as many auditions as possible. This had worked for her once, maybe it could work again.

But after only a week of what felt like endless, grueling auditions, Tori was already feeling raw, wrung out, and bruised. She was glad to be back in LA, but trying to work here might be the worst idea yet.

This was on Tori’s mind as she met Patrice for coffee the Saturday after that first week of pilot auditions. After dinner at Patrice’s house, Patrice invited her to coffee regularly, occasionally with Janet present, too, but today, Tori was moody, and Patrice certainly noticed.

“What’s bothering you?” Patrice got right to the point. Tori appreciated that she rarely tiptoed around things, but being called out by her occasionally made her feel exposed.

“I just don’t know if I can keep doing this, the whole acting thing. I love it, I love performing, but the auditions are making me want to just fucking give up.” Tori stared at her coffee cup, scowling, “And I knew it would be hard, so I’m probably just being unreasonable. But I need to find some work, and soon, or what’s the point of even being an actor?”

Patrice listened, taking a sip of her Americano as she took in what Tori was saying. Then, she cocked her head. “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”

“Uh,” Tori swallowed, hoping she wasn’t blushing at the implications the question brought up for her. Valentine’s Day was the following Friday. “Probably attending auditions, at least during the day. Why?”

Patrice shrugged, “Because in the evening, I’m leading a workshop at The Pleasure Chest, a special Valentine’s Day bondage workshop, and I could use an assistant.” She watched Tori carefully, gauging her reaction. “The Pleasure Chest will pay us for our time, and if you like it, we can keep working together.” She sipped her coffee, “It’s not great money, but it’s something.”

“That would be amazing, actually.” Tori was intrigued. “I’m kind of thrilled to see what you do after all these years.”

Patrice laughed, “Maybe you’ll learn a little something, too.”

Tori cocked her head, “So wait, as your assistant, shouldn’t I know what’s happening?”

Patrice smirked, “You know, normally the answer would be yes, but this is a class for novices. So if it’s okay with you, it might work really well if you go in pretty green, so you’re about on the same footing that they are. It might help put them at ease. But let me get your consent on a few things, first. Do you consent to letting me bind your wrists, and touching your body to move you around a bit?”

Tori blinked. She was _very_ okay with this. “Yes, of course,” she said, almost too quickly. But then she thought about it. “I _am_ an actress, you know. I could just _act_ like a novice.”

“You could,” Patrice grinned, “And you may have to for future workshops. But why don’t we have a little fun with this one? If you don’t want to, though, that’s completely okay.”

Tori kind of wanted to, though. Why not? It might be fun to think on her feet. “Alright, I’m in.”

Patrice just nodded, though. “Great. I’ll send you the details and I’ll see you on Valentine’s Day, if not before.”

Tori made it through her second excruciating week of pilot auditions, feeling more like an automaton. She wondered when her passion for this had simply evaporated, because now that she had Patrice’s workshop to look forward to, that was where her mind kept settling, instead of on what used to be the exciting possibility of landing a television role.

When Friday evening rolled around, Tori met Patrice at The Pleasure Chest. By the time Tori arrived, Patrice was already mostly set up, but she grinned at Tori, clearly happy to see her. “You made it!”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Tori replied, electing not to disclose that it was all she’d been able to think about all week. The curiosity and anticipation of watching Patrice work had been enticing.

When the class began, Patrice introduced them both. “Good evening, everyone, and thanks for spending your Valentine’s Day with us. My name is Patrice Kline, I’m a licensed therapist and sex educator, writer, and BDSM practitioner.” Her introduction of Tori was shorter, because they’d talked about what Tori was comfortable with and she wanted to keep it brief. “And this is my friend and assistant Tori, she’s a BDSM novice, and all she knows about tonight is that I’m going to tie her up.”

There was a delighted titter from the group, and Tori grinned and waved at them all. They had the rapt attention of a group of a little less than a dozen couples of various ages, gender configurations, and races. They were given the chance to briefly introduce themselves and describe their level of familiarity with BDSM and bondage.

Patrice started off talking about BDSM itself, what people got out of it, and some basic safety guidelines. Tori’s role, at this point, was to listen, the same as the attendees were. Many of them had some familiarity with BDSM but were novices with ropes, but some were complete novices, so Patrice made sure to be thorough.

She handed a length of rope to Tori. “So, Tori,” she said, “If you were going to tie someone up, what would you do?”

Tori actually had some experience with this. Not in the, like, bondage sense, but when she was a kid, a lot of the games she’d ended up playing with her friends had involved kidnapping or arrest, and often her friends ended up bound up with a jump rope or something. This was also a skill she’d used on Trina when she was being particularly crazy. The time when she was absolutely out of control after getting her wisdom teeth taken out was probably the last time she’d had to tie up her sister, but it was a tactic she’d used when they were younger and probably one of the only ways she had to gain an upper hand when they’d fought.

So Tori wasn’t terrible at knots, she knew a few simple but effective ones that she was certain she could untie. So as Patrice held out her wrist, Tori started looping the rope.

But Patrice stopped her before anything was even really pulled tight. “It’s often instinct to tie bondage rope in the way we tie a lot of other knots, for stability. And stability is absolutely important, but so is safety. Take this knot Tori started. Tori, keep holding your end.” Patrice tugged her wrist downward, and Tori and the attendees could see the way the rope pulled tighter on her wrist as she moved. “If I were to struggle, the knot would tighten, and potentially cut off circulation. We must always be mindful of the fact that bondage has an inherent risk of injury, including nerve damage and cutting off circulation.” Patrice gave Tori a warm smile. “Thank you, Tori. You can untie me, now.”

At least that was something Tori could do. She got Patrice untied pretty quickly. Patrice actually looked impressed. “Here, Tori is actually ahead of the curve: she only tied knots she could untie. I was actually expecting her to struggle more, because another thing novice riggers often don’t account for is quickly and safely removing someone from their binds.” She smiled at Tori again, and Tori felt warm from the praise. “So now, we’re going to switch things up, and I’m going to tie Tori up, binding her wrists together. But what should we agree on first?” she asked the attendees.

“A safeword!” a few people called out.

“Exactly. Shall we choose one for Tori?”

“Chicken pucks!” someone suggested.

Patrice glanced at Tori with amusement. “How does that sound?”

“Chicken pucks it is,” Tori agreed, holding out her wrists.

Patrice bound Tori’s wrists together with practiced hands, meeting Tori’s eye as she did so. “Now, I want you to use your safeword.” It was quiet, but not meant to be completely private.

“Okay,” Tori murmured, heart beating faster as she watched Patrice’s long-fingered hands grip the rope that currently bound her.

“Use it now, Tori,” Patrice prompted after the silence stretched.

“Oh! Chicken pucks!” Tori cried out.

Immediately, Patrice had a pair of what looked like safety scissors in her hand and was slicing carefully through the rope on Tori’s wrists. Tori marveled at how quickly she was freed. She wondered if Jade knew that there were special scissors for this kind of thing.

She wondered if scissors would ever not make her think of Jade.

She put Jade out of her mind quickly as Patrice showed the scissors to the group and explained how to safely use them to free someone.

Then, it was time to provide a length of rope to all the couples and teach them some basic knots. They made “Chicken pucks” the universal safeword for the workshop itself. So Tori stood in the front of the room and let Patrice demonstrate knots on her, showing the group when they were finished how she could gently guide Tori around the room by her wrists without anything pulling tighter.

And after an evening of letting Patrice pull her around, feeling eager to please and wanting so much to get it right, Tori ended up feeling kind of blissfully confident as she eased into the role of Patrice’s assistant.

“You did great tonight,” Patrice told her, flashing her a huge grin, which made Tori feel fluttery, “Your lack of experience was actually perfect. Of course, we can play that sort of thing up for future workshops, and really, your comfort and compliance is important, too. What did you think?”

“It was fun,” Tori replied, “I really liked seeing you work, and it was cool watching those couples get comfortable with those knots.”

“Well, I have another workshop coming up in a week if you’d like to join me,” Patrice offered. “We can get you a little more familiar with everything so you’re not such a novice, too. I have some literature, if you want.”

“Absolutely,” Tori said, “This was really fun.”

The Pleasure Chest had a check for them both, and though Patrice asked if Tori wanted to get a drink or a bite to eat, the truth was, she was exhausted from her long week of auditions, so she politely declined and headed home.

In her car, and in the quiet of her home in the little guest house, Tori had the time and space to process her evening. And the truth was, the teenage crush she’d had on Patrice, the cool, older, knowledgeable queer woman, was creeping back up on her.

Because Patrice was still all of those things: cool (even cooler now that Tori knew her better instead of just mysterious-cool), older (and, though Tori thought she was probably almost forty when she met her as a teenager, she’d guessed her age entirely wrong, because Patrice wasn’t even forty _now_ ), knowledgeable (okay, and watching Patrice teach and guide people had been weirdly hot all on its own). Not to mention a great listener, friendly, gentle with Tori, but also not afraid to call Tori out when she was being ridiculous.

Yeah, being tied up all evening by Patrice had forced Tori to confront some feelings she thought she’d left behind a long time ago.

Patrice got a lot of work in February, it turned out. The whole Valentine’s Day vibe apparently always inspired couples to find ways to spice up their sex lives. Tori was still attending auditions, but already, the workshops were what she was most eager for, not only because they were the only thing actually paying her right now, but because they interested her. There was an element of performance to being Patrice’s assistant, especially acting as the BDSM novice when she was actually starting to learn things. And there was something oddly freeing about the moments when she acted as a prop, letting Patrice guide her around while she was bound.

Oh, and spending time with Patrice was definitely another reason Tori looked forward to this.

After the second workshop (another beginners bondage workshop, so similar to the first one; it was Bondage Month, according to The Pleasure Chest), Tori and Patrice went out for a drink together. At first, it felt a lot like their usual meetups to get coffee, except that it was louder in the bar, not obnoxiously so, but enough that they had to be close to one another to hear each other, making the whole experience feel more intimate.

“Are all your classes and workshops in person?” Tori asked as they sat and drank together.

“They are, yes,” Patrice nodded, “And for some of them, like the ones you’ve helped me with, the in-person element is crucial.”

“Definitely,” Tori agreed, “And I mean, even when you came to talk to me when I was young, being face to face for that was important. But like, some of your pamphlets, I keep wondering whether there’s a better way to get some of that information out there.”

“I’d love that,” Patrice said emphatically, “For years I’ve thought about trying to do a webseries, going over some of the basic sex education things, the questions I get the most, stuff like that. But when it comes down to it, my camera presence is terrible.”

“Yeah, being in front of a camera definitely takes some getting used to,” Tori sympathized. Patrice was scrutinizing her. “What?” Tori asked.

“I’m an idiot,” Patrice chuckled, “You’re great in front of a camera, you’re gorgeous.” Tori blushed, “And, wait, do you speak Spanish?”

“Yeah, why?” Tori said hesitantly. Getting her bachelor’s degree had required a certain amount of foreign language credits, and in taking college level Spanish, Tori had been given the kick she needed to really delve into the language she’d learned in childhood and had barely spoken since. Weirdly, relearning Spanish in Vancouver had made her feel more at home there.

“Because there’s a huge need for good bilingual sex education and I’m hopeless with learning a second language,” Patrice smiled ruefully. “Listen, I love having you as my assistant and I hope we keep doing that, but what would you say to us working together on a video series? I know you’re knowledgable about sex education, too, but I’ve got the Master’s degree, and you’ve got the camera-ready looks and personality.”

“Stop,” Tori laughed, though she definitely didn’t want Patrice to stop complimenting her. And this idea excited her in a way that working on television really didn’t right now. It felt like she was doing something important, something fulfilling, and it sounded like there could still be an element of performance. “Yes, I’m definitely in.”

“I’m so happy about this,” Patrice gushed, “I’ve been wanting to do something like this for so long and I feel like I’ve finally found the right partner.” She lifted her glass to clink with Tori. “To you, Tori Vega,” she smiled.

Tori was so giddy she couldn’t speak for a full minute after that.

After their third workshop together, they went out for drinks again. The place Patrice had selected tonight wasn’t quite as loud, but they were still sitting close, beginning to discuss what they wanted their education webseries to look like. Whenever Patrice smiled at her, Tori thought she was floating. She didn’t think she was completely naive, but the idea of overtly hitting on Patrice was intimidating, all the same.

But in the middle of her second drink, when conversation had shifted slightly from work, Tori got the courage to ask, “So, I know you’re polyamorous. What does that mean, exactly?”

“Well, you know it can mean different things to different people,” Patrice said, and Tori nodded. “As you know, Janet is my primary partner, and that means that our connection takes precedence over other connections we might have, but we're allowed to have other sexual and romantic partners, who are also important and valued." Patrice's eyes hadn't broken contact this entire time and Tori found herself having to really work to focus on what she was saying. "So, for us, our structure has our relationship as a foundation, with other relationships built on top of it. The other relationships require stability between Janet and I to function, and the secondary relationships enhance our connection, as well as being their own, separate relationships in which both partners’ needs are important. Does that make sense?”

“I think so,” Tori replied. “Doesn’t it get complicated?”

“Sometimes,” Patrice laughed, “Polyamory's not for everyone. But good communication makes it possible. So Janet and I keep each other informed about our other partners, we have the ability to veto each others’ partners if we’re uncomfortable, and we are also allowed to close our relationship back up if it ever becomes necessary. But poly can be challenging for secondary partners, too, if they feel their needs aren’t being met because they would prefer to be someone’s primary partner. And you already know," Patrice nodded to her, probably indicating the million phone calls she's fielded from Tori in the past, "in any relationship, communication matters, especially in these situations. Secondary partners who already have a primary can be ideal, but it’s not necessary. Some people like the relationship model of being a secondary partner because they don’t have a lot of time to invest in a relationship and feel better knowing their partner has additional support when they are unavailable, for instance.”

“I see,” Tori said. She’d been listening, but honestly it was a little difficult to focus on the details when she was just waiting for the chance to ask, “So, if I were considering being someone’s secondary partner, what would you advise me to do?”

Patrice eyed her carefully, “Are you asking me how to find a polyamorous partner, or something else?” she asked.

“I guess I’m asking what to do when I already have someone in mind,” Tori told her, heart hammering as she looked Patrice in the eye.

“Ah,” Patrice blinked, almost looking flustered for a moment. “Well, as your friend, I’d--”

“Patrice,” Tori interrupted, “I’m definitely not asking you something as a friend right now.”

Patrice took a deep breath. “Okay. Then, I think...you’re hot, Tori. You’re talented, you’re funny, and you’re eager to learn, which is _very_ endearing, and I definitely like you.”

Tori let the words wash over her and settle as a warmth in her chest. She felt her heartbeat all over her body as she and Patrice looked at each other. “So then...what happens now?” Tori asked.

“Well, now,” Patrice reached over to cover Tori’s hand with her own, “I’ll go home and check in with Janet. Now that this is truly on the table, her consent matters. Not that this is a total surprise, so I feel pretty confident that she’s going to say yes.”

“You’ve talked to her about me?” Tori asked in surprise. Patrice merely nodded. “So if she says yes, what does that mean for us?”

“Well, that depends on what it is you want,” Patrice replied.

Tori shrugged, “I don’t really know. I just know that I like you, I like being around you, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what it would be like to sleep with you.” Yeah, liquid courage was going to get Tori in trouble one of these days.

But her confession just made Patrice grin, “Well, for me, romantic feelings are often something that develop over time. So my secondary partners often begin as sexual partners and that may develop into something more, and it may not. So if that sounds like something you might want…” she trailed off.

“That sounds like exactly what I might want,” Tori said. She didn’t really know whether or how she might want to be romantic with someone like Patrice, but she definitely wanted to explore what might happen. “Are you worried about how this might affect us professionally?” Tori asked.

“A little,” Patrice replied, “That’s always a concern. But we’re more coworkers and creative partners than anything else, so I don’t feel that there are employment power dynamics at play, do you?” Tori shook her head. Any power dynamics she felt were not related to their work, and were ones she definitely wanted to explore. “And of course, it’s always a risk, but sometimes, so is ignoring feelings. I find it can be helpful to make an agreement in advance that if things have to end between us, that we will be kind and respectful to each other, and we will push through any awkwardness, so that we can continue our work. It sounds idealistic, but sometimes just facing the possibility of things ending and making a pact can help people model future behavior.”

“That sounds good,” Tori said, “I can definitely agree to that.” She would certainly much rather have a breakup like that than the one she’d had with Jade. But something else occurred to her. “Is this...going to be weird for you? You know, because you met me when I was a teenager.”

“I mean, if I’d interacted with you more than like two or three times when you were a minor, maybe it would be weird. But I haven’t seen you as a kid for a long time. Why? Is it weird for you?”

“Not really, except that I’m realizing that maybe this all started for me back then,” Tori blushed, ironically suddenly feeling a bit like her inexperienced seventeen year-old self, despite the fact that she was twenty-five and had been having casual sex for years, at this point.

Patrice laughed, a sultry sound. “Nothing like a teenage crush coming to fruition, is there?” she mused, taking a sip of her drink.

“I don’t know, since nothing’s happened yet,” Tori fired back. Where had _that_ come from?

Patrice nearly choked on her drink. Tori tried not to laugh too hard as Patrice dabbed at her face with a napkin. But then Patrice turned the tables on her. “Since we’re on the topic, what are you into, Tori?”

Tori blinked. “I, uh. I mean, you mostly know that, don’t you?”

Patrice shook her head, “I know about some of your experiences, maybe a little too much in some cases, but I don’t know what it is you like most of all.”

Tori faltered, “I mean, I like...you know. Um. I like boobs?” Patrice snorted, and Tori pushed on, “And I mean, I like to get off from grinding, oral, uh, fingering’s nice. I love giving oral, too. I mean, really, I’m down to try almost anything once. I just like making my partners feel good.” She was blushing again, imagining what it might be like to get Patrice off.

“Well,” Patrice said quietly, “I’ll be talking to Janet tonight, because I think you and I are going to have fun together. Though I have one final question. When is the last time you’ve been tested for STIs?”

This was actually something Tori had taken care of after her last encounter with Addison, because sexual safety was something she learned to take seriously as she studied for her bachelor’s degree. So she was able to confidently say, “A couple of months ago, after my last sexual partner.”

So everything seemed to be above board between the two of them, and Tori found out from a text later that night that everything was clear with Janet, too. A few days later, she was invited to Patrice’s house. Janet would be out, giving them some privacy for their first evening together.

Tori came inside, was offered some water (sobriety was evidently important to Patrice for first sexual encounters), and joined Patrice on the couch, where they flirted verbally for a little bit before Tori got the courage to kiss her. And kissing Patrice was easy, it affirmed their mutual attraction, and it felt weirdly like something Tori had expected for a long time.

But as their kisses got a little more frantic, and Tori ended up straddling her lap, Patrice eventually ended up asking Tori if she’d rather take this to the bedroom.

“Your bedroom?” Tori asked, a little surprised.

Patrice nodded, “Well, the second bedroom,” she clarified, “The one we use for special activities.”

And as they made their way to the bedroom, Tori started to wonder what she was about to walk into. What if this second bedroom was a dungeon? What if Patrice wanted Tori to do something wild? She’d told Patrice she would try anything once, what if that meant anything was on the table?

She walked into what appeared to be a normal bedroom. It even had some art on the walls similar to the general aesthetic of Patrice and Janet’s home, though Tori noticed that the theme of this room was a little...kinkier. There was a framed black and white photograph of a nude woman hanging from the ceiling in an elaborate rope bondage position that Tori couldn’t keep her eyes off of.

Patrice noticed her shift in mood, however, and gazed at Tori in concern. “Okay, stop, let’s have a check in. You don’t look okay.”

“I’m--” Tori tried to think about how to express what she was feeling, “I just, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Patrice looked baffled, “How would you disappoint me?”

“It’s just, you’re so much more experienced than I am, and you have all these skills, and what if you ask me to do something in bed and I have no idea what it is you even want?”

Before Tori could spiral any further, Patrice took her hands. “Okay. Tori, are you familiar with cunnilingus?” her eyebrows quirked playfully.

“Yeah,” Tori whispered.

“How about manual stimulation of the clitoris and vagina?” This was spoken in a stuffy tone, clearly Patrice trying to make her laugh.

Tori was already cracking a smile at the clinical language, “Yeah.”

“Then I think you’ll be fine. I’m not Addison,” Patrice assured her.

That was a good point. “No, you’re not.”

Tori let herself be led to the bed where they had very enjoyable sex that didn’t include anything Tori wasn’t expecting. Except for, perhaps, the particularly potent feeling of triumph when she made Patrice come.

They had sex a few more times, both at Tori’s guest house and in Patrice’s second bedroom, before Tori brought up the other piece of their interaction that had drawn her to Patrice.

They were lying naked in the afterglow of orgasm together when Tori asked, “What if I kind of want to do what we do at your workshops but...in private?” The workshops had mostly been the rope bondage ones, though she’d also helped with a beginner’s Dom/sub exploration and even a beginner’s impact play workshop. That one had been kind of fun because a willing volunteer (probably totally an audience plant by Patrice, honestly), an attractive woman, had let a blushing Tori spank her with various implements while Patrice critiqued her form for the benefit of the novices watching. At the end, Tori and Patrice had negotiated a spanking scene in front of everyone (something they had discussed first, but rehashed publicly for the benefit of the attendees), and Tori had been lightly spanked.

“Are you saying you’d like to bottom for me?” Patrice asked, smirking, sounding intrigued.

“I guess,” Tori said shyly, “I just know that this interests me, and it’d be a lie to say I didn’t sometimes get turned on being your assistant.”

“That’s...not news,” Patrice laughed.

“You _knew_?!” Tori exploded, reaching to grab Patrice. They ended rolling around together, laughing.

Patrice grew serious. “I’d be honored to play with you.” Tori had been to enough workshops by now to understand that “play” was the BDSM word for “do kinky stuff together.” Patrice continued, “But first, we need to figure out if we want the same things out of this.”

Tori’s brow furrowed. “I assume I want to bottom and you want to top?”

“Of course,” Patrice said, “But those roles can mean very different things to different people. There’s a quiz you can take about what you’re interested in in the realm of kink and it’ll give us a place to start with our negotiations.”

Tori ended up taking the quiz on her PearPhone in bed next to Patrice, who was there to answer the few questions Tori had about any terms she didn’t really know. When she’d finished, Patrice examined her results, then glanced at Tori.

“You’re sure you want to bottom?” she asked Tori. Tori nodded, because that feeling she got when Patrice tied her up was what she wanted to explore. “Okay. It seems like you’re into being tied up with maybe some light sensation play.” She regarded Tori curiously. “What do you hope to get out of bottoming?” she asked.

It seemed like such a broad question. Tori tried to imagine a situation where she was tied up and Patrice was maybe spanking her again. It sounded hot, but…“I don’t know,” she said slowly, “I guess I just like the idea of being...accessible to you?”

“Does your _idea_ include the possiblity of sex in some capacity, either during or after?” Patrice asked.

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Tori said, like it should be obvious, “Wouldn’t it?”

“Not necessarily, but noted,” Patrice said, her voice serious, but now shifting into something softer. “So how does a scene like this sound: you, tied up, maybe blindfolded too. I’m touching your skin with feathers, leather, maybe hot wax or ice. I spank you with a leather paddle. And then I make you come while you’re still tied up.”

Tori nodded, closing her eyes briefly to take in the scenario described. “I think that could be really fun.” Yeah, like, orgasmically fun.

“I think I’d enjoy that, too,” Patrice replied.

The scene itself happened the following week, with Patrice checking in with Tori again beforehand to make sure the elements they’d agreed to still appealed to her. They’d decided to just use “chicken pucks” as their safeword again.

It was difficult to describe the thrill of being on her back, tied up, her wrists bound together and her ankles bound together, but there was something potent in the tension between Tori’s desire to move, to touch her partner, and her inability to do so. Tori took a moment to struggle against her binds, enjoying the thrill it produced in her. She wasn’t tied to anything, but she still couldn’t really maneuver much, especially with the blindfold; not knowing what was nearby forced her to keep her struggling contained. Patrice checked in with her, evidently concerned that her struggle meant she wasn’t enjoying it, but Tori assured her that she was.

The sensation play was fairly mild, and it was exciting. The blindfold made it more fun, since she couldn’t see what was happening. The feather tickled, and made Tori struggle against her binds more; she remembered, a long time ago, Jade mentioning torturous tickling, and thought that might apply here. The hot wax on her chest wasn’t nearly as painful as she’d anticipated, even combined with the contrasting sensation of ice, and when she was turned over and spanked, she knew it was quite a mild spanking, but she didn’t really want anything more intense than that.

And, with Tori still on her hands and knees, wrists and ankles still bound, Patrice got on the bed and fingered her from behind. And it was immediately clear to them both that what had been happening had certainly made Tori _very_ wet. And, with Patrice’s encouragement and reassurance in her ears, Tori was able to let go, coming apart violently in a dark, confined world with only Patrice to ground her.

Patrice held her carefully as she came, keeping her from losing her balance with her bound limbs. And when it was over, Tori immediately wanted to be untied, but before she could even voice the request, she felt Patrice’s hands already slipping the knots free.

Tori recovered in Patrice’s arms, the swirl of complicated emotion churning through her. When she was coherent enough, she flipped Patrice over to reward her with an orgasm of her own, which Patrice clearly wasn’t expecting, but certainly didn’t complain about.

And afterwards, as they both recovered together, Patrice checked in, asking what worked for Tori, what she might want to do differently, if anything was too intense or not intense enough. Tori didn’t have much to say, though. She’d enjoyed it, but she didn’t know what else she would want to do if she bottomed for Patrice again. It felt more like checking something off her bucket list than a new world opening up for her.

Patrice listened to her, and there was something in her face that Tori couldn’t quite identify, like she was confirming a suspicion. “So, I’m going to ask you this because of what stood out on your kink quiz results, but...have you ever considered topping?”

Tori frowned, “Not really, I…” she thought about it, considering how most sexual exploration with Jade had occurred because Tori had initiated it, how Meghan and Addison had both asked her to do certain things that entailed authority, power. It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d been playing with any power back then, but in retrospect, it seemed a little more obvious. “I...think I could be curious about that.”

Patrice looked pleased now. “Well, I have an offer for you that you are free to take or leave. But Janet has had a fantasy for a while of being topped by two women. If you were interested, we could do that together. I could show you the ropes. Literally. She’d be happy to let you get some practice on her. And, she and I usually have sex after a scene ends, which you’d be free to join, or not.”

Tori’s mind was swimming, “You’ve...already discussed all this with Janet?”

“Let’s just say I had a hunch that something like this could happen.”

“I think...I think I’m definitely interested,” Tori said. Interested, and flattered, and okay, _excited_.

This led to Tori, Patrice, and Janet having another dinner together, though this time, dinner conversation turned from pleasantries to negotiation, plotting out and agreeing to exactly what it would look like when they all got in bed together. Tori didn’t yet know what she liked about topping or what she was hoping to get out of it, but she listened to scenarios presented by the couple she was going to play with and indicated whether she would be interested. They agreed to what was probably a pretty mild scene to let Tori get acclimated--including bondage, impact play, and humiliation-style dirty talk. She listened to and took in what the hard limits were for the couple--the things they definitely never wanted to do--but none of it was anything she really thought she was that interested in, anyway.

They performed the scene the next night, which gave all parties some time to process and fully consider what they had agreed to. And then Tori stepped into her role as top for the first time.

Mostly, she just watched Patrice, and imitated what she did. She got to actually try out the knots she’d been watching Patrice tie for weeks now, she got to spank another _very_ willing woman (and Janet’s pain tolerance meant she was able to go harder than she had at the workshop), with Patrice to guide her on how to best use the paddle. And she had Patrice there, whispering in her ear all the things to say to make Janet wet.

And afterwards, when the ropes came off, Tori was with both women on the bed, as she and Patrice continued their focus on Janet’s pleasure together, Tori experienced her first threesome, and it felt liberating.

The three of them played together a few more times, as Tori really started to get the hang of doing the things Janet liked with more confidence. And each time, as they ended the scene with sex, Tori felt lucky to be included in the bedroom of this couple.

And so her spring came to pass, with Tori feeling like she herself was in bloom. She was playing and sleeping with a couple. She and Patrice still had their own relationship, of course, which included a little more exploration of bottoming on Tori’s part. There was a part of Tori that suspected she wouldn’t be suited for a romance with someone with a primary partner, and was happy for their connection beyond friendship to remain simply sexual. Tori continued to play the role of Patrice’s naive assistant at her workshops, though she was starting to learn enough to help in more knowledgeable ways, too. And they were beginning to work on their sex education video series. She felt fulfilled by her friendship with Patrice, by her sex life, by everything she was learning about kink.

Not long after Tori’s birthday, Patrice invited Tori to attend an event with her: a BDSM play party. She understood this to be an event in which kinky people gathered as a group in a private space to play together. She knew attendees were sometimes couples who only played together, and sometimes strangers who had just met and negotiated a scene together, but that the overall purpose was to provide people with a safe space in which to play. She was assured that consent was taken extremely seriously in such an environment, that in fact there was always a person or people whose job it was to monitor everyone to ensure safety and consent and guide people in the proper use of toys and equipment. And she knew that, especially as a first-timer, she would be permitted and even encouraged to just watch; polite voyeurs were always welcome.

Despite this, Tori had no idea what to expect when she got there, but she knew she was excited and nervous. She had a feeling that whatever happened, she was about to gain something from it.

**  
2021**

Turns out that thing, that one about being a camera for hire at corporate events? The one that was just supposed to be an option for extra income during major holidays? Yeah, turns out that would be Jade’s bread and butter.

Despite the festival success of _Not My Problem_ , Jade hadn’t been invited to direct any other features, not for Dread It Pics, not for anyone. She’d at least been able to use her film school connections to find work as a director of photography on smaller films, usually bouncing between Atlanta and New York. She preferred the east coast, for now, probably because it meant she wasn’t likely to run into anyone she knew. Though there was that one time it turned out the behind-the-scenes footage she was hired to shoot for a music video in Atlanta was for an artist Andre was producing. But Andre was always her most chill friend, the one she could grab sushi with after years apart and laugh like no time had passed, so it was far from awkward. If anything, the visit was over too quickly.

A couple years into Jade’s new career model, the one where she just worked her ass off and never settled anywhere, she discovered something buried in her email archive folder. She’d been looking for a contact from film school, searching every variation she could think of that contained the key words she was looking for.

One of the searches yielded the result of an email from Tori. Namely, _that_ email from Tori. The one she had Sam read to her and that Sam was supposed to have deleted.

Fucking Sam.

Jade considered dragging it straight into the trash, but who the fuck was she kidding? A true masochist, she wanted to look at it.

**Jade,**

**I fucked up.**

Yeah, no shit.

**I see that now. I thought that nothing could break us but I see now that the only thing that could was me. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do, what we both wanted me to do, I thought I was starting our future but I get it now. I fucked up. And I miss you.**

**And I’m so sorry.**

As Jade stared at the text, all she could think of was their fight at the film festival, the memory of it still crystal clear in her mind. She’d been so furious that night, being forced to participate in the stupid machine that was supposed to keep them all gainfully employed. And what good had it done? She hadn’t worked since. Not as a director, anyway. Maybe it was karma for being such an asshole so much of her life.

Maybe she could work on being a little less dickish. Just a little, though.

She hit the reply arrow and typed into the text box:

**Don’t worry about replying, but I miss you, too.**

Without even thinking twice, she hit send and closed the email app.

**2025**

**Summer**

The plane touched down not long before midnight on a Thursday night, LA time, and Jade was already exhausted. Even with years of travel under her belt, having relocated from city to city for a couple of months at a time to take work on independent film projects, with videography and photography gigs filling in the gaps, Jade hadn’t gotten much better at air travel. It was loud, it was cramped, and no one seemed to be able to respect anyone else’s personal space. It was a miracle she got used to it enough that she didn’t need to knock herself out with drugs to make it through, though that also meant she found it impossible to sleep on flights. So by the time they landed, Jade’s brain was still on Eastern time, and she was hungry and drained.

The Burbank airport was much smaller than LAX, which meant that disembarking and getting her checked bag was quicker and less stressful. She had a laptop bag, a backpack, and a large wheeled piece of luggage that contained most of her possessions; she didn’t always fly with her film equipment, and in this case, it was more cost effective to ship it. She still had some stuff at her mom’s house--mostly Blu-Rays other physical media, even some old clothes--but her largely nomadic lifestyle meant that she had to fit her life into a couple of bags every few months. Jade had learned to go without a lot of things.

And at this point, she completely bypassed the WeDriveU cars that were ready to take people where they needed to go, and just walked. Her destination was the hotel right across the street from the Burbank airport, and even if dragging her luggage when she was so tired was a pain in the ass, at least it was less stressful than trying to engage with some driver who didn’t realize she wasn’t in the mood to talk.

The hotel, fortuitously, was also the location of the Hollywood Arts reunion for the graduating classes of 2012-2015, which meant Jade was here for her kinda sorta twelfth year reunion. It was just the way Hollywood Arts did it, since the school was fairly small to begin with and students in different grade levels collaborated all the time. And, since they definitely weren’t allowed to serve alcohol on school property, they rented a convention center for these events. In the Valley, of all places. Jade figured it was probably much cheaper.

Making it to the reunion was something Jade had prioritized, partly because it had been a long time since she’d been home, and a long time since she’d seen her friends. She and her Hollywood Arts friends still maintained a text thread of just the six of them, checking in on each other and celebrating each other's achievements. This would be the first time they would all be together in too many years for Jade to count, and she’d fully intended to scrimp and save to ensure she could make the journey to LA for this.

But when she’d been talking to Beck about trying to make sure she could go, he’d offered, “Let me pay for your hotel room.” She’d scoffed, of course, but he wore her down, insisting that because of his frequent travel for work (he was modeling and acting, and out of all of them, was probably the closest to being a household name because of the level of work he was starting to get), he had a lot of points accrued that he could use to get Jade a room without any money out of his pocket. She suspected he wasn’t being entirely truthful--even though he’d gotten much better at acting since they were teenagers, she was still pretty good at reading him--but she’d relented and let him cover the cost of her room. It had made it a lot easier for her to afford to travel back to LA.

And now, she’d checked into her hotel room, and opened the door to find that it was definitely one of the nicest rooms she’d stayed in in a long time, and Jade had seen a lot of hotels (they filled in the gaps between sublets and air bnb stays, which comprised most of her temporary housing).

“Thank you, Beck,” she murmured, dropping her bags and immediately undressing for a shower, pulling her toiletries and pajamas out of her backpack.

Once she was showered, Jade was barely on her feet. It was after one am which meant her brain was operating as if it was four am. Jade was still a night owl, but not to that extent. She nestled down into the hotel bed, which was probably the nicest bed she’d been in in years--again, Beck had outdone himself.

She was asleep in minutes.

Jade slept late. She’d crashed out hard, unsurprisingly, and the bed was so comfortable that she barely even woke up in the night. It was almost eleven when she finally was coherent enough to consider getting out of bed, which felt extremely late given that her body was still accustomed to eastern time.

She brewed coffee in the room while she waited for her brain to start functioning. It wasn’t great, but it was hot, and it was ready quickly, and she’d definitely had worse. The actual reunion itself was that evening, and before that, a group of them were meeting for dinner, but otherwise, Jade didn’t have anything on her agenda. She flipped through the information on the hotel, wondering if it had a jacuzzi, knowing if they did, she’d need to figure out where to get a bathing suit.

Eventually, she got dressed and went downstairs for a late breakfast, realizing that she’d never actually eaten the night before beyond the airplane snacks. The all-day breakfast options were limited, but at least they had eggs and bacon. And, because there was a Jet Brew attached to the hotel restaurant, she could get some decent coffee. She took another cup of Jet Brew with her as she wandered around the downstairs of the hotel, trying to figure out how to get to the pool, but she couldn’t find it anywhere. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. She didn’t have a swimsuit, anyway. Jade headed back up to her room with her coffee.

Jade killed her afternoon by flipping through channels, browsing for work on her computer since she didn’t know how long she’d been in LA, and fielding texts in the group chat between her friends. Everyone was pumped to be getting back together again that evening, Jade included. The people she’d seen most recently were Beck, a couple of years before (had it really been that long? Time flew) when they both happened to be working in New York and Andre, when he’d been in Atlanta for the video shoot. Everyone else she’d hadn’t seen for at least five years, since she’d really stopped calling LA her home and started following her work wherever it would take her. Even the few trips back she’d made for holidays and family events were generally too brief to look anybody else up.

And, of course, she hadn’t seen Tori since their disastrous meeting at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2019.

They hadn’t really talked since then, either, aside from both being in the same group thread with their friends. For years, they’d essentially been in all the same conversations and ignored each completely, but a minor shift had occurred after Jade sent that email reply to Tori a few years back, the one that said she missed her. They still didn’t talk one on one, but they started acknowledging each other in the group texts, even if it was only to poke at each other.

Idly, Jade wondered what it was going to be like to finally see her again. Tori, too, had made a point to ensure she was attending the reunion. She was local to LA again, so it wasn’t travel that held her back, but she knew from her conversations with Cat and Beck that Tori was busy a lot. Only Andre seemed to see her with any kind of regularity, and Jade never asked him about her. Andre was her friend, and though there hadn’t been any “choosing sides” when she and Tori broke up, he was definitely Tori’s ride or die more than hers.

Sometimes it was hard to believe how long ago they’d broken up. Though Jade couldn’t remember a lot of the details clearly--they’d always eluded her; even right after the breakup was official, Jade found herself wondering just what the hell had happened--she still remembered a lot of the emotions that went with it clearly. Frustration, anger, abandonment, anguish, grief. _So much grief_. The six months after the breakup were still hazy to Jade. Sometimes she wasn’t sure how she’d even finished her classes.

It had been so long, and so much had changed, Jade thought it might not be too bad to see each other again. It might be a little awkward, sure, but they’d be with their friends.

It would probably be cool.

It could also be a total disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Section title from _Against All Odds_ by Phil Collins (...still Mariah Carey)


	4. One: Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over, And if I think it over, maybe you'll be comin' over again, And I'll have to get over you all over again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who hung on through the prologue, we hope this is a nice, hearty, delicious reward.  
> And, Amanda, we hope this helps.

The group of friends were meeting at six for dinner, and Jade figured she might as well head down a little early, because she imagined some people might start to arrive any minute. She decided she’d wait at the hotel bar, because if she kept an eye out, she’d see anyone coming from the hotel entrance to the restaurant. And besides, just thinking about the evening, and how she was going to see her friends again (she was going to see _Tori_ again), well, it was a little easier to face it with a drink in front of her.

Jade settled on her usual Jameson and Ginger, checking her PearPhone as the bartender made her drink. Evidently, she was turned away long enough to miss someone’s entrance, because next thing she knew, there was a voice behind her. “Jade?”

She turned in her seat, already grinning at the familiar voice. “ _Beck_ ,” she greeted, stepping off her stool to wrap him in a hug.

“It’s really good to see you,” he told her when she’d pulled away. He was smiling fondly, in a way that made him look as though he hadn’t aged at all since high school. Not that he looked that much different, really. He still had great hair and a beautiful face.

“Yeah, you, too,” Jade replied, taking her seat back down at the bar.

Beck joined her, ordering an Old Fashioned. Well, that suited him, she guessed. He regarded her as she sipped her drink, waiting for his own. “Well, you look the same.”

“Thanks, I think,” Jade rolled her eyes. She still wore a lot of dark colors--mostly blacks and grays--though pants tended to be easier than dresses or skirts for most of her work. She no longer dyed her hair so dark anymore, letting it grow out to its natural brown, and it was currently longer than she’d worn it at the end of high school, though she kept the streaks, which were currently blue and green. But she knew Beck didn’t mean in comparison to high school, since they’d seen each other a few years ago. She guessed he just meant she didn’t look _any worse_. “Thanks for the room, by the way. It’s actually _really_ nice.”

“Good,” he grinned. “How are you feeling about tonight?” he asked as the bartender handed him his drink.

“Fine,” Jade replied, “It’s going to be really good to see everyone. It’s been awhile.”

Beck nodded. “It has. We haven’t all been together since…” he trailed off, clearly thinking about it.

Jade thought she knew. “The Christmas party at Tori’s. What was it, my junior year of college?” It hadn’t been that memorable of a party, except for the part where she and Tori went upstairs to have sex in the middle of it, the instance that had become, for Jade, the last significant sexual encounter they’d shared. But it had been one of the last times she and Tori had been together in person, since after that, Tori had just been in Canada for what felt like forever, then Jade had gone to New York to make her movie, and other than Toronto, she didn’t think either of them had been in the same city until now.

Beck nodded thoughtfully, “Weird party. I don’t remember that much of it.”

“That’s because we all just got wasted,” Jade shrugged.

He laughed, “Sounds about right.”

Jade glanced over her shoulder at the sound of footsteps, and saw Cat and Sam walking hand in hand toward the restaurant. Jade waved, which caught Cat’s eye, and her face split into a huge grin as she dragged Sam over to where Beck and Jade were sitting.

“Hi!” Cat shrieked as Jade slid off of her stool, and she barrelled right into Jade to wrap her in a hug. Like, face-first into Jade’s boobs. Jade let out an “oof” at the contact, wrapping her arms around Cat.

“Hey, Cat,” she said when she got her breath back.

“It’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you!” Cat looked up at her, then squeezed tighter for a moment before releasing her and flinging herself at Beck with a similar enthusiasm.

Jade sized up Sam. Like everyone else, they hadn’t seen each other in years, though she kept in touch with her about as well as she kept in touch with Cat. Sam smirked at her, “West,” she greeted, punching Jade on the arm lightly. Lightly for Sam, anyway.

“Puckett,” Jade replied in kind, with a similar friendly punch.

“It’s Puckle,” Cat pulled away from Beck to correct.

Sam looked exasperated, “It’s Puckett,” she insisted, punching Jade on the arm again.

Jade punched back as Cat said, “I thought it was Puckle.” But there was a particular amused glint in Cat’s eye, instead of the confusion Jade expected.

Sam sighed, “Cat, you _know_ my last name, you filled out that form for the DMV for me last month.” She and Jade were now trading rapid punches that were gradually getting harder.

“Oh, I better call them, then, because I definitely got your name wrong,” Cat teased.

“Cat!” groaned Sam, landing one particularly firm jab to Jade’s arm.

“Ow,” Jade pulled back from the punchy greeting. Sam glanced at her, lowering her hands. “It’s good to see you, Sam,” Jade said, rubbing her arm.

“Back atcha,” she nodded.

“Come on,” Cat tugged Jade’s arm, “It’s time to go claim our table.”

“Wait,” Jade turned around to get her drink, pulling out her wallet.

“I’ve got it,” Beck told her.

“You do not,” Jade scoffed.

“I already paid.”

Jade cast a look at the bartender, who shrugged and nodded. Jade collected her drink and carried it to the adjacent dining room, where Cat was already telling the hostess that they were with “Sikowitz, party of nine.”

“Right this way.”

“Hey, guys!” came a voice behind them.

“Hey, Rob!” Beck was the first to greet him, being the furthest behind. Jade focused on following Cat and Sam. Not that she wasn’t happy to see Robbie, but if they got lost on their way to the table because of him, then she’d start off the entire evening being irritated.

They were actually in a private room, which was unexpected, and a long table was waiting for them. Jade raised her eyebrows at Sam, who shrugged, and the hostess said a server would be in shortly to get their drink orders.

“Hi, Jade,” Robbie said.

“Hey, Robbie,” she greeted, “How’s Vegas?”

“Not bad at all,” Robbie nodded along to his own words.

“Hi, Robbie!” Cat grabbed him in a hug.

Jade shifted away to move out of the awkward moment and choose a seat on one side of the long table.

“Hey Sam,” Robbie asked, “Do you still hear from Freddie?”

“Sometimes,” Sam grunted, sitting down next to Jade. “You still hung up on him?”

Robbie looked affronted, “I am not _hung up_ on him!” he declared, which of course meant he totally _was_ , and Robbie turned back to Beck, “So anyway, as I was saying, my last show had a really great turn out.”

Jade half tuned him out because Cat took the seat at her other side. She glanced between Sam and Cat, “Do you...want me to move?”

“No, silly,” Cat said, leaning into Jade.

“We see each other all the time,” Sam explained with a wave of the hand.

“Because we both wanted to sit next to you and we both missed you,” Cat elaborated. Meanwhile, Robbie sat down on Cat’s other side, filling up one half of the table, and probably because they were still talking, Beck took one of the three seats on the other side of the long table, the one on the end mostly across from Robbie.

Sam didn’t even refute that she’d missed Jade. “You still go to any derby bouts?”

“Not in a long time,” Jade admitted.

“Haven’t been in awhile either. It’s not the same without a derby buddy.”

Jade glanced between the two women next to her, “So you two are good?” she asked.

“We’re great!” Cat chirped.

“Better than ever,” Sam agreed easily. Well, at least someone made it work with their high school sweetheart, or whatever they’d started out as. Even if Sam refused to get married, though Cat was supposedly working on her.

“Sam’s a mess, but she takes care of me, and she’s good with money, so,” Cat shrugged.

“And Cat remembers to do stuff like pay bills and get groceries, so it all works out,” Sam shot a rare fond smile past Jade to Cat.

At that moment, in came Andre, Trina and Tori, followed by their server. Any extended greetings were paused as the waiter asked if anyone wanted anything to drink while they waited for the last member of their party. Trina hurried to claim one of the seats at the head of the table, next to Robbie and Beck, and Tori and Andre took the other two seats on the side with Beck, Tori taking the middle. Meaning she was basically right across from Jade.

And as Jade looked at her ex-girlfriend in person for the first time in years, all she could think about was that it was entirely unfair how good she looked. Even though she was wearing a pinstripe bright pink pantsuit--some things never changed, apparently--with a v-neck white t-shirt. Her hair currently fell just past her shoulders, similar to a style she’d worn in college once or twice, one that Jade thought always looked great on her. Oh, and she was wearing glasses. Stupid, nerdy, _sexy_ glasses. They were different from her old ones, these were chunkier, more stylish. And okay, Jade was definitely staring.

She pretended to look at the menu, as if she needed to do that to order a drink. The server was moving around the table, but he was starting with Trina, who ordered a Long Beach Iced Tea (whoa, okay), then Beck, who got another Old Fashioned. But when he got to Tori, she just asked for a soda and lime.

Okay, that was weird, right? Maybe Tori was trying to be frugal. Though, Tori was absolutely the type to splurge at events like this, and besides, her clothes looked stylish and new, and Jade was pretty sure the purse she was carrying was designer (she wondered when Tori finally got rid of her monster purse). Oh god. Was Tori pregnant? Jade couldn’t come up with another reason why she wouldn’t be drinking. The last time she’d seen Tori she was definitely dating a woman, and Jade knew she’d identified as gay for many years. As far as she knew, she wasn’t in a relationship. Not that you had to be in one to have a baby, but she wasn’t likely to have an accidental pregnancy if Tori was only having sex with female partners. But it had been a long time since they’d seen each other. How much had changed in six years? She would have at least heard something in the group chat, especially if Tori were doing this on her own, right? And why was she hung up on Tori’s sex life that may or may not have resulted in some kind of pregnancy?

“Did you want another drink, ma’am?” the waiter asked Jade, gesturing to what little was left of her Jameson and Ginger.

Jade was about to say yes, but caught herself. If Tori wasn’t drinking tonight, Jade wouldn’t be either, because Tori was now something she was trying to figure out. “No, thanks,” Jade replied, “I’d just like a black coffee and a water.” She glanced across the table and met Tori’s eye for the briefest moment, enough that she knew Tori had heard her order.

“Very good. And for you, ma’am?” he asked Cat.

Jade was watching Tori, who had turned to chat with Beck, but she didn’t know what they were saying because Cat was speaking to the waiter right next to her ear. “I just want a water. I can’t have alcohol because it interferes with my ‘special vitamins,’” this was said with an exaggerated wink, “And I’m a recovering Bibble addict.”

“He doesn’t need to know your life story, babe,” Sam cut in.

“Oh! Do you have Blue Dog Soda?” Cat asked suddenly.

As the waiter left to get their drinks, Cat jumped out of her chair to dash over and give Trina, Tori and Andre welcome hugs, then circled back around to her own seat. Jade watched Tori with interest, but then Sam leaned across her. “Trina!” she called.

“What?” Trina called back.

“You planning on getting wild? I heard your drink order.”

“Hey, at least the Long Beach has cranberry in it. Antioxidants!” Trina replied.

“Well, don’t count on me to reign you in,” Sam leaned further over Jade.

“I can take care of myself. I’ll go as hard as I want to, Sam Puckett,” Trina shot her a smirk.

“Puckle,” Cat giggled.

“I’ll go harder than you,” Sam grinned right back at Trina.

It became clear that everyone’s attention was on Trina and Sam at this point. Which, this was precisely why they had a web show together (called _You Cook It, I Eat It_ ). The bulk of Trina’s work was in Las Vegas, so one weekend a month, Sam rode her motorcycle out to film several episodes of their web show. Trina had wanted to start her own cooking show and asked Sam for advice, given that she’d been in a popular web show in her teens, and since Sam loved food, she’d joined the cooking show to criticize Trina’s cooking. And they also drank a lot while making it. And bantered. And Trina’s cooking had improved enormously since it started, meaning she was able to give people real advice.

“Sam,” Cat warned, “Save your banter for the show. And please don’t go hard at _my_ class reunion.” Well, that was pretty responsible, coming from Cat.

“Alright, alright,” Sam slouched back in her chair.

“Where is Sikowitz?” Robbie complained.

“Late. As usual,” Andre shrugged.

“Anyone want to take bets on how long he’ll be?” Cat asked. Jade glanced at Tori, who was grinning at Cat’s suggestion.

“He’ll be here in seven minutes,” Robbie jumped right in with his bet.

“Nah, I’m gonna say four,” Andre said. Cat nodded.

“No way,” Tori said, “I say ten.”

“We’re doing _Price is Right_ rules, right?” Jade asked her. Cat nodded. “Eleven minutes,” Jade said decisively, smirking as Tori shot her a brief, indignant look.

“So we have seven, four, ten, and eleven,” Cat pointed around the table. Jade watched Tori, who looked like she was suppressing a smile as she shook her head. “Beck, are you in?”

Beck cocked his head, “Cat, you...seem like you’re doing really well,” he offered, though there was clearly some kind of question in his compliment. Jade understood it. Like her, Beck probably hadn’t seen Cat in awhile, but unlike her, he probably didn’t talk to Cat one on one as much. But in person, Cat was noticeably more lucid than she had been when she was younger.

“Thanks, I am,” Cat said to Beck, “Sam takes good care of me. And I finally found a mood stabilizer that really works for me! Yay!” Cat actually pumped her fists in the air. Jade wondered if Beck even knew about the time Cat was arrested in Arizona after attacking a young hair model and tearing out his hair, convinced he was wearing a wig. She’d ended up being placed in psychiatric hold, and at least there they were able to assess her mental status and realized that the meds she’d been taking throughout most of high school were not helping her. It had been rock-bottom for Cat, the beginning of a long journey to finding some stability with her mental health, and a big turning point for Sam and Cat’s relationship, the catalyst for Sam’s realization that she really needed to step up for Cat. Jade thought she and Tori might be the only people who knew all the details.

She glanced at Tori now, and saw she was smiling proudly at Cat’s confession. But she shared a wistful glance with Jade a moment later, and Jade was pretty sure they were both thinking about Cat’s experience of bottoming out.

But then Beck was saying fondly, “Cat, I’m really happy for you. And I’m going to go wild and say fifteen minutes.” Oh, right. They were playing a game. One where Jade had just undermined Tori completely. She shot Tori a triumphant smirk.

“Okay,” Cat glanced around the table as if making mental notes. “Trina? Sam? Do either of you want to place a bet?”

“What do we win?” Trina asked.

Cat shrugged, “Bragging rights, I guess.”

Trina scoffed, “I don’t need rights to brag.”

“She’s got you there,” Sam agreed. “I’m in. I met this guy once, but whatever. Five minutes.”

“All right,” Cat said, “Bets are in.”

“When are we counting from?” Andre wanted to know, “Now, or from when you announced the bet?”

“I’ll even it out and add thirty seconds to the clock and start now,” Cat suggested. She tapped the start button on the screen of her PearPhone’s stopwatch app.

The group splintered into smaller side-conversations, Tori chatting with Andre, Robbie asking Beck about where he’d last traveled, Trina asking Cat about one of Nona’s Italian recipes. Jade felt a nudge at her shoulder from Sam.

“Dude, I’m pretty sure your ex keeps checking out your business,” Sam’s eyes dropped to Jade’s chest. She was wearing a tank top under a dark but breezy cardigan and it wasn’t anything particularly low-cut, but her boobs kind of turned anything remotely revealing into an entire presentation.

“Yeah, well, that sounds like her.” Jade said, shooting a glance across the table. If Tori had been looking at her, she’d averted her eyes back to Andre. She turned back to Sam who still had her eyes directed downward. “ _Sam_.”

“They’re really good. I can’t blame her.” Finally, Sam looked back up. “That’s a compliment from a friend.”

Jade thrust an elbow at her. They’d maintained a good rapport over the years, emailing each other about weird conspiracy theories they’d discovered online. There was also a trend of Sam sending Jade photos of the breasts of women she’d slept with (who’d all consented and were apparently into the idea of Sam showing them to “her buddy who traveled a lot”) which Jade appreciated, though she was sure she wasn’t getting the same thrill out of it as Sam or any of her partners. Which...she still wasn’t sure about the specifics of Sam and Cat’s relationship arrangement, but they seemed happy and that was all that mattered to Jade.

The server returned with the drink orders, placing the beverages on the table. As Tori’s soda and lime was delivered, it reminded Jade that she was on a mission to find out just what was up with the lack of alcohol. “So, _Tori_ ,” Jade said, the first words she’d spoken directly to her in over five years, folding her arms onto the table in front of her and leaning just enough to exaggerate her cleavage. The way Tori’s eyes flitted from Jade’s face, then down, then abruptly back up told her she had her attention. “Anything new with you? Any family news?”

Before Tori could even speak (oh, she was definitely struggling with not looking at Jade’s breasts), Trina slapped her hand on the table. “Oh my god, _Jade_. Have you heard about our mom doing that new weed baking competition show?”

Okay, now she had the attention of the wrong Vega. “Nope,” Jade said, still focused on Tori, who was now trying to ignore the pull of Jade’s boobs as she sipped her drink. At least her coffee had arrived. It gave her something to do other than stare across the table at Tori and her stupid hot nerd glasses.

Trina, however, just kept talking. “Remember Bambi Sterling? They’re competing _against each other_.”

“Wait,” Jade said, finally catching up to what was being said to her. “Her nemesis?” Well, this was actually interesting news. Holly Vega versus the woman she’d been raging about for over ten years...that sounded like good television.

“Yeah, they finished filming a couple of months ago,” Tori said, speaking to Jade for the first time all evening, for the first time in _six years_ , though she was also kind of speaking to everyone. “And she signed some NDA and she won’t tell us _anything_. Even when we grill her when she’s had an edible, she just laughs at us!” She and Trina shared a frown at this.

“I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for this,” Jade said, still watching Tori, whose eyes drifted over and down to Jade’s breasts again. This was starting to get fun. “What show is it?”

“ _Weed Wars_ ,” Tori replied, eyes meeting Jade’s for a moment.

The chatter at the table continued for a little bit longer. Jade watched Tori as discreetly as she could, leaning forward onto the table to let her breasts do what they did best, enjoying the fact that Tori couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from her cleavage. But before too long, just as Andre asked the table if they should just go ahead and order, Sikowitz burst into the room, “Do I have the right party this time?”

“Ten minutes and eighteen seconds,” Cat reported, “Tori wins!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Tori flourished her hands with the light smattering of applause, and for the briefest moment, she shot Jade a triumphant little smirk. Jade’s lips thinned in response. So her tactic had failed. She should’ve said ten minutes and one second.

“What do you mean, the right party?” Beck asked Sikowitz.

“Oh, I joined a retirement party for a law firm for a few minutes before I realized I was definitely in the wrong place. I thought you all had aged rather rapidly.” He glanced around the table, his eyes stopping on Sam, “You...weren’t one of my students?” he said, the statement halfway to a question.

“Nope,” Sam replied, “Just here with Cat,” she jerked her thumb at her.

“Thank goodness, okay,” Sikowitz took a seat at the other head of the table, then shouted, “Drive-by acting exercise!”

The group all sighed or groaned in unison, but everyone’s spines straightened automatically, preparing for whatever Sikowitz was about to dish out. “Whaaaat’s happening?” Sam chuckled.

“Everyone!” Sikowitz shouted, “You are going to look at the person across from you and maintain eye contact for as long as possible. You can blink, but otherwise, you must not break eye contact. Robbie, Trina, you can pair off, and everyone else, just use who’s across from you.”

“Again, what’s happening?” Sam asked.

“Basically a very intense staring contest,” Jade told her.

“Got it. Competition I can make sense of,” Sam said, fixing Andre with her gaze. Andre already looked a bit anxious about facing off with Sam.

Which meant, Jade realized as she noticed Beck and Cat were facing off, that she would be performing this acting exercise with Tori. She glanced at her, to see her tilting her head thoughtfully in Jade’s direction.

“Aaaaand, go!” Sikowitz declared.

Jade let her gaze lift to meet Tori’s, and stared into her ex-girlfriend’s eyes from across the table.

At first, the intensity of it was almost too much, making Jade want to look away. And it didn’t help that Tori was wearing those stupid glasses, and that her expression was calm, with a hint of a challenging smirk. Jade shifted in her seat, moving her shoulders and her chest, watching as Tori’s face smoothed to something more neutral.

-

 _Don’t look at her breasts_ , Tori thought. Honestly, it had been her mantra for most of the evening, but now it was even more critical that she didn’t let herself get distracted by the nicest boobs on the planet, because it would suck to be the first to lose this simple acting exercise. Because Tori knew she was even better at acting now than she was when they were in high school, and she wasn’t about to back down from the challenge.

But at the same time, she was also processing the way Jade had absolutely been displaying her cleavage so far, the way she’d been stealing glances at Tori. And Tori decided that looking at Jade’s boobs hardly mattered at this point. She would look if she wanted to; it was clearly what they both wanted.

Just as soon as this acting exercise was over, because right now, she was focused on Jade’s eyes.

In the ambient light of the little private dining room, Jade’s eyes looked greener than usual. And...chiz, Jade looked great. Just in general. Tori wasn’t extremely active on her personal social media accounts, and neither was Jade, except on Spectrogram, where she posted a lot of artsy photos but very few selfies. So this was really the first glimpse Tori was getting of Jade in years. From what she could see, Jade was wearing a lot of black, which still suited her. So did her brown hair, which Tori thought might actually be her natural color now. Tori liked that she’d kept the color streaks, though. It seemed that was still part of Jade’s signature look.

Jade’s expression was now softening into something like a smirk, so Tori started wiggling both her eyebrows rapidly, trying to throw Jade off. Jade’s smirk deepened, and she raised that (still pierced) eyebrow challengingly. Seeing _that_ expression on Jade’s face was still enough to make some small part of Tori melt even as her chest tightened, and she struggled not to let it show, instead mirroring the expression, raising her own eyebrow and quirking her lip into a well-practiced smirk of her own.

In response, and Tori honestly couldn’t tell if it was deliberate or not, Jade’s bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. _Damn_. Okay, this was how they were going to play. Tori let her tongue run deliberately and slowly over her lips, watching the way Jade’s eyes started to absolutely smolder in response. Tori suppressed the quiver of desire that ran down her spine. How did something as simple as eye contact still have such an effect on her?

And just then, the waiter appeared, and Sikowitz announced, “The acting exercise is still going!”

“Sikowitz, how are we supposed to order if we can’t look at the menu?” Robbie asked.

“I will look for you,” Sikowitz said, his tone full of his typical sadistic amusement.

The waiter began going around the table, taking their orders. Trina, at least, remembered the name of her dish. Her sister becoming such a foodie was odd, but a welcome development. She’d shared a lot of great recipes with Tori, who had started to get better about cooking for herself a little more often, and was honing her skills. Beck had to describe the dish he wanted a little, making the order a bit of a guessing game, but he and the waiter finally got there.

When the waiter got to her, she continued looking directly at Jade as she asked the table, “If I get spinach artichoke dip as an appetizer, would anyone share it with me?” There were some enthusiastic yeses, including one from Jade, so Tori ordered it, then followed up with her entree, “The Caprese Chicken with a side salad.” Everything had looked good on the menu, but this was what came to mind when Tori couldn’t look at the menu to second guess herself.

She and Jade continued to stare as the waiter made his way around the table. In the middle of Sikowitz’s order, Sikowitz shouted, “Ah-ah! Robbie, you’re out!”

Tori couldn’t see what had happened, and she refused to take the distraction to look, instead watching the way Jade’s face spread into a gleeful smile at the first person to fail.

“Thanks _a lot_ , Robbie!” Trina griped.

“I _spilled_!” Robbie defended himself. In her peripheral vision, she could see activity that looked like Robbie dabbing at his shirt with a napkin, but she didn’t look any closer.

“Trina, you can join Beck and Cat,” Sikowitz announced.

“Uh,” Beck said next to her, “ _How_?”

“Beck, look at Trina, Trina, look at Cat, Cat, look at Beck,” Sikowitz explained. Tori could sense the waiter was hovering next to him, and she felt bad for the poor guy, already knowing she was tipping extra tonight.

“Seems to defeat the purpose, but all right,” Beck muttered.

Jade still looked highly amused at all of this, and then that eyebrow was creeping up again, and Tori thought she might drown in her eyes if this continued much longer. Not that she was complaining. It was almost hard to believe that even after all this time, looking at Jade still affected her this much, but then, was it so strange? This was Jade, after all, and no one else had ever broken her heart quite so thoroughly.

Not that she didn’t shoulder half of the blame for that heartbreak. She knew that. And now was absolutely not the time to dwell on it, when Jade was leaning forward to take a deliberate sip of her coffee, and Tori had to struggle once again to keep her eyes out of her cleavage.

The waiter got to Jade, who ordered a hummus appetizer for the table (there was that eyebrow again) and a Salmon Salad.

Once their orders were taken and the waiter left, Sikowitz finally said, “Aaaand, stop. Well done!”

Tori continued watching Jade for a long moment, neither of them breaking eye contact. It was still a game between them, the competition was still on. Tori weighed how she wanted to play it, because knowing Jade, this could go all night, so she decided to just do what she’d been wanting to do this whole time, and hopefully have an effect on Jade in the process.

Tori ended their own personal game by letting her gaze drift down and settle right in her cleavage. And _damn_ , that was some nice cleavage.

-

Aaaand, Tori’s eyes were on her breasts again. With no apparent intention of moving. Jade thrust out her chest a little more, letting her look, while she tried to turn her attention to Sam as casually as she could.

“Well, how was the acting exercise for you?” she asked.

“Is that really what you guys learned in high school?” Sam asked with interest, but she shook her head. “You artist types are weird.”

“As if you aren’t an ‘artist type’ with two popular web shows under your belt,” Jade ribbed right back. Sam spread her hands, conceding the point.

“So,” Sikowitz said, taking a sip of whatever beverage he’d brought in with him. Jade wondered if the retirement party was going to end up paying for that. “What has everyone been up to since graduation? Tell your favorite teacher how I’ve enriched your lives! Andre! You first!”

Andre began talking about his experience studying music at UCLA and how it led to his career producing music now. Jade pretty much knew the story, and she paid attention, but she also realized that Tori might be next, and...Jade considered that she didn’t know what Tori was doing for work these days. She knew she had continued acting when she was still living in Canada, but Tori had been in LA for years now. She hadn’t searched Tori’s name online in a long time--it was sort of painful to look up news about an ex, especially one with a public presence--but whatever Tori was working on, it hadn’t crossed Jade’s news feed. All she knew was that Tori was “busy” a lot.

At Sikowitz’s prompting, Tori briefly recapped leaving UCLA to take work in Canada, and then said, “Since returning to LA, I’ve started working on producing online media content.”

It seemed there was more to this, but Cat interrupted with, “Tori makes sex videos!”

Okay, _what_?! Jade watched Tori with interest.

“Oh, yeah, the Pleasure Professor!” Robbie put in.

Again, _what_?!

“Sex _education_ videos,” Tori explained, eyes meeting Jade’s for a moment, “The Pleasure Professor offers bilingual sex education about a variety of topics.”

Okay, that was something. Jade discreetly pulled out her PearPhone and tapped _the pleasure professor_ into the search bar. And, yep, the first thing to pop up was a SplashFace account, belonging to a user called MoustacheMedia, with an image of Tori, looking a lot like she did right now in those same nerdy sexy glasses, but wearing a lab coat. The thumbnail image had the words “The Pleasure Professor Presents…” just above Tori’s head.

Jade bookmarked that for later, and glanced up to see Tori watching her with an amused and curious expression. Jade raised her eyebrows right back at her.

And now Beck was talking about how he’d skipped college to go right into modeling, starting with hair modeling and moving from there to other modeling opportunities, getting into a theater company in New York, and eventually landing some TV and film acting roles. Again, nothing new there as far as Jade was concerned, but Sikowitz seemed particularly pleased with Beck’s developing career. It was definitely something to be proud of, Jade had to admit.

Trina, she knew, was part of a pretty popular improv group in Vegas that got steady work at one of the casinos. While not news, Jade reflected that the fact Trina was down for anything (which she knew well from working with her) made her a great fit for the “yes, and” of improv acting. And, of course, “I have a cooking web show with Sam,” she gestured down the table.

“Interesting,” Sikowitz rubbed his beard and regarded Sam curiously. “And you definitely weren’t one of my students,” he confirmed again.

“Nope,” she said, “But I’m kinda wishing I was at this point.”

“Sam’s a natural in front of a camera,” Cat gushed, making Sam suppress a smile at the praise.

“She actually is,” Trina admitted.

“Aww, stop,” Sam said, “This guy doesn’t care about what I do.”

“That’s true,” Sikowitz agreed, “Robbie! You’re next.”

Out of everyone, Jade probably talked to Robbie the least, other than Tori. Given their dynamic in high school, that Jade preferred Rex over Robbie and Robbie was often terrified of Jade, it wasn’t surprising that they weren’t super close. So she listened as Robbie filled in details regarding what she didn’t know about what he was up to. It turned out he (and Rex, who she was…a little surprised still got referred to as his own person, but okay) had a stand-up act in Vegas that was starting to generate a lot of interest. Robbie had been given the opportunity to headline a couple of stand-up shows now, and Jade was genuinely excited for him.

Cat told Sikowitz that she hadn’t been able to choose between acting and singing as a focus for college, but she knew she was good at costume design and decided she might be more comfortable behind the scenes “especially when I was still working on stabilizing my mental health.” She had eventually started her own costume design business that specialized in animal costumes. “So, whenever a monkey needs a cape, or a dog needs a vest, they call me! I do TV, movies. And the dog dancing community _loves_ me!”

“And she does a lot of community theater and absolutely slays at karaoke,” Sam put in proudly.

Cat giggled. “I’m happy just doing stuff on the smaller-scale when it comes to that. I like my privacy.”

Now it was Jade’s turn. And given that Sam wasn’t about to tell Sikowitz about her life, that meant she was going last. She wondered if Tori had questions about her career, the way she’d wondered about Tori’s. But maybe Andre told her things, or Cat. Though Cat had somehow not even mentioned The Pleasure Professor to Jade, which she was honestly pretty disappointed about, so who knew? Maybe Tori never even asked about her.

“Uh, well. I went to USC, and got a lot of great experience there. By the end of senior year, I’d made a pretty solid student film--”

“Starring me!” interrupted Trina.

Jade continued, “--and gained a few connections to some people who wanted to help me develop that project into something bigger and better. So I moved to New York to direct my first feature film. It was a really great experience, and we took it to all the festivals. Sundance, Tribeca, Toronto…” A glance at Tori told her that Tori was listening to her attentively, her eyes not even resting on Jade’s cleavage this time. “Seemed like people really liked what I had to offer.”

Jade paused, wondering how to make what she was working on now not seem anticlimactic in comparison. Jade certainly wasn’t ashamed of her current work, and she enjoyed the chance to really work closely with a camera and capture images that really meant something to people, even if the audiences tended to be much smaller. But it certainly wasn’t at the level of being an up-and-coming darling at film festivals.

When she spoke next, it was kind of at Tori, at least in her mind. “But now, I do a lot more private work. Photography, videography. And I still have connections who are eager to bring me on to projects to DP, so that’s really fulfilling. So, I travel a lot, I see new cities, and I’m constantly behind a camera. I love it,” she finished, because she did, even if a part of her felt even as she said it that it might be the least exciting career update at the table.

“You’ve always had a unique eye,” Sikowitz told her. A genuine compliment. She was a little surprised. He spread his hands, “What a table of immensely talented individuals!” he crowed, “I’m proud to have been your instructor. To me!” He raised his glass in a toast.

“To Sikowitz,” they all intoned, playing along, reaching across the table to clink glasses with each other. Jade let her eyes meet Tori’s very directly as they clinked glasses, sharing a smirk at Sikowitz’s antics.

Their starters and appetizers arrived not long after. Tori scooped some spinach artichoke dip onto her piece of flatbread and pushed the dish toward Jade, who traded her for the hummus appetizer while everyone else watched hungrily and waited for their turn with the appetizers. Jade took a bite of the dip onto her piece of flatbread. “Mmph, so good,” she mumbled.

“Right?” Tori asked, dipping a carrot into the hummus and trying that, “Oh man. Great hummus,” she offered the dish to Andre as Sam practically got into Jade’s lap to get at the spinach artichoke dip.

“Sorry, dude,” Sam said as her elbow bumped Jade’s boob, “But Mama’s gotta eat.”

“Pass the dip this way,” Trina complained.

“Chill,” Sam told her before taking a bite. Her eyes lit up as she finished chewing. “Trina, why haven’t we made this yet?”

“You mean why I haven’t I made it so you can eat it?”

“Yeah, that.”

Conversation became more stilted as the appetizers started making their way around the table and people started on their salads or soups. Neither appetizer dish lasted that long, which Jade expected, and their entrees arrived just as Sam finished scraping out the last of the spinach artichoke dip with her spoon.

And everything was delicious, which meant the table actually went silent for a minute or so as people tucked in, and then conversation slowly resumed, just people talking about their food. Next to her, Sam was cutting into a massive rare steak, which wasn’t surprising, and was raving about it, telling Jade she should’ve ordered it; of course, being Sam, she didn’t offer to let her try it, not that Jade was especially interested. Tori, however, was letting Andre cut off a piece of her chicken, and he nodded happily as he chewed and offered her some of his burger, which she accepted, taking a careful bite with her napkin at the ready.

But when Tori went back to focusing on her own plate, Jade noticed her eyes were right back to where they’d been all night. Jade wasn’t going to lie. She was enjoying getting ogled by her ex-girlfriend. It was nice to know that she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t stop looking.

She wondered if they’d even have a chance to talk one on one during this whole big reunion bash. She wondered if it would even be a good idea.

-

As dinner wound down, Tori took in the conversation around her, feeling like she’d gotten enough of an eyeful of Jade’s cleavage to where she could concentrate on what people were saying to her. Though, the occasional glance from those intense eyes from across the table kept connecting with her gaze, making it that much harder not to get pulled in. It wasn’t just the boobs, she knew. It turned out that Jade was still someone who could easily make her waver in a moment of utmost confidence. In the past, it was never anything that could fully derail Tori and she wasn’t intending to allow that to happen now, but there was still something about the way Jade’s presence (breasts included) could suck in all of her attention.

Tori knew part of this was probably due to holdover from so many years ago. She’d grown a lot since then, she’d been in therapy after the professional mindfuck that had come with her time in Canada, and she’d settled into a career that she truly loved. But she still carried some guilt over her breakup with Jade, that her own relentless optimism over her television career had splintered their relationship into non-existence. This was all stuff she’d worked on and worked out over time, but gearing up for this reunion, being around the people who had populated their world when they were a couple, and seeing Jade face-to-face like this...it was enough to drudge up plenty of feelings she’d thought she’d permanently put to rest.

It also didn’t help that everyone else aside from herself, Jade, and Cat, were at least two or three drinks in by the end of dinner. Jade, who’d had at least three cups of coffee, was the one who took on the task of making sure everyone was paid up and the server was tipped while Tori had to remind both Andre and Beck not to leave their phones behind on the table. As everyone filed out, Cat giggled at something Sam was saying, Beck and Robbie were in an argument about stretch jeans, Trina insisted someone at the bar recognized her from her web show, and Sikowitz wandered in the wrong direction before he pivoted back around and trailed behind the group.

The reunion itself was at the other end of the hotel, in one of the convention halls, so they had to maneuver through the lobby, past the courtyard bar (where they immediately lost Beck and Trina who stopped to order another drink), and down a long wide hall. By now, Tori had somewhat fallen in step with Jade, maybe because they were still able to easily walk a straight line and there was a sense of wanting to talk, to say _something_. But then, suddenly, Cat was between them, slipping her arms through both of theirs.

“This is _fun_!” she said, sounding both genuine and excited.

“A real riot,” Jade quipped, but a side glance showed she was smiling, at least.

Cat swayed between the both of them. “Sam said it had the potential to be an awkward, hellish mess but...it’s not.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of disappointed, if we’re being honest,” said Sam, who surfaced on the other side of Jade.

“Well, that was just dinner,” Tori said. “Who knows what’ll happen later. It’s supposed to be an open bar.”

“That’s what Mama likes to hear.” Sam chugged the remainder of the beer she’d been carrying, then tossed the bottle cleanly into a nearby trash can.

As they rounded the corner toward the convention area, the music of the event could be heard thumping from down the hall. Cat broke away from Tori and Jade, grabbing Sam’s hand.

“I love this song!” Cat said, dragging Sam toward the double doors marked with the Hollywood Arts logo.

There was a digital sign just outside the doors welcoming the classes of 2012-2015 that rotated through a slideshow of photos, featuring various school events and shows. Including _The Narcoleptic Astronaut_ , meaning that for several moments Nancy and Walter Swain were drifting in full color across a sixty inch screen, right in front of them. Tori couldn’t help but glance at Jade, who was still staring at the screen.

“Ah, there they are, my favorite couple!” Sikowitz called out from down the hall. Tori realized he was focused on the screen, not on her and Jade--which, the door to the event was open but drawing shut and Jade was no longer next to her. Instead of waiting for her old teacher to catch up, Tori grabbed the door handle before it closed all the way and yanked it back open. Jade was standing with Cat, Sam, and Andre. The rest of the group filtered in behind Tori and their presence hadn’t gone unnoticed. Sinjin, who Tori actually saw regularly, because she used his internet security company for her online media business, recognized that the gang was back together and present at the reunion.

“Hey!” he shouted, gleefully. “The main people are here!” Others began to gather and look at them, causing the group to awkwardly wave. “Which of you is gonna sing something first?” There was a hubbub from the people around them and it was honestly a little terrifying.

Fortunately, Andre stepped forward and addressed everyone. “Hey, okay. We’re all excited to see you, too. How about we all have a couple drinks first and then we’ll see about singing in a little bit.” That seemed to appease everyone, at least for now.

But it didn’t stop the looks and the chatter from people who had been peripheral to her high school life. She noticed that people were looking from her to Jade, either assuming they were still together or wondering if there had been any drama. It was a lot to take in. If Tori was going to face the rest of the night, she needed to take a few minutes to herself.

So when the rest of her friends moved for the bar and the dance floor, Tori slipped back out the double doors, into the hall, and looked for a nice quiet place to recenter herself.

-

Jade noticed Tori leaving, like, not even five minutes after they’d gotten to the reunion. Okay, that was weird. She glanced at Andre for answers, but he was busy talking to Beck, and hadn’t even seemed to notice Tori’s absence. In fact, as she glanced around at their friends, none of them seemed to have noticed that Tori was gone (Cat and Sam were dancing together, Robbie was talking to Burf, and Trina was already across the room mingling with people from her own class). That was especially weird.

After a moment of hesitation--because if something was wrong with Tori, maybe she’d better grab Andre--Jade was out the door and following Tori. Mostly because she was still trying to figure out the mystery of Tori. She’d never been a heavy drinker, but it _was_ weird to order a soda and lime at dinner, right? Maybe Tori _was_ pregnant and was going to throw up. Really, Jade wasn’t thinking much about Tori herself in the moment. She was on a mission to satisfy her own curiosity.

She caught sight of Tori moving toward a stairwell and followed her, far enough back that Jade thought it wouldn’t be obvious--though if Tori turned around, it absolutely would be. But instead, Tori slipped into the door to the stairwell, and Jade hurried to reach the doorway so that she’d be able to at least get an idea of which floor Tori was going to.

She listened to Tori’s footsteps in the stairwell above her as she climbed the stairs, and was just behind her when she heard Tori exit. She paused at the door to the third floor. _Rooms 337-365. Pool Access_ , the sign read.

Okay, Tori didn’t have a room here, so she must be going to the pool. And that meant Jade was definitely following, because she would finally learn where the stupid pool was. Maybe she could get in the jacuzzi when this reunion was over. It had been a bit much, being faced with the image of herself playing Nancy Swain and then celebrated as one of the “main people” as soon as she walked in the door, seeing the eyes of people who seemed to expect so much from her, more than Jade felt certain she could deliver. She thought she’d have made three feature films by the time she was thirty, and a part of her was sure they all thought that, too.

So, double mission. Find the pool and find out why on earth Tori was going to it.

Jade stepped through the stairwell door to see Tori ahead of her down the long hallway, heading in the direction of the pool, according to the sign ahead of Jade. She still didn’t get why the pool was on the third floor, but whatever, she followed Tori down the hall.

Tori stopped in front of an elevator. Jade paused for a moment, aware that Tori was definitely about to notice her, if she hadn’t already, but then she approached anyway. Tori looked over at Jade as she got close, seeming unsurprised to see her there. Jade could now see that the elevator, also labeled _Pool Access_ , required a hotel keycard. “Looks like you might need my help with that,” she commented, slipping her hotel key out of her pocket.

“Is that why you followed me?” Tori asked, amused.

“No, I was just trying to find the pool,” Jade replied.

“Uh huh,” Tori said, “So come on, open it.”

Jade was about to move past her to swipe her card, but stopped. “Why, exactly, are you going to the pool?” she asked.

Tori rolled her eyes, “I wanted to get some air.”

Jade blinked, “There are _so_ many other places you could’ve gone to do that.”

Tori shrugged, “Then I guess I’ll just go there, then,” she moved as if to walk away.

Jade groaned, “Fine.” She swiped her keycard, and they stood awkwardly together, listening to the elevator. Finally, it shuddered to a stop in front of them and the doors opened. Jade had a second to consider that getting into what sounded like the oldest elevator in Burbank with Tori might not be the best idea, but then they were both in it, pressing the button marked _Pool Access_. Seriously, what was with this journey to the pool? No wonder Jade hadn’t found it. How had Tori even found it? She wanted to ask, but she had a feeling Tori would deflect that question, just like she had Jade’s other one.

The elevator groaned to a halt after slowly taking them down what must’ve been only one or two floors, but seemed like it took forever. The doors opened, and Jade could already smell the chlorine. They were in a hall with a door marked _Authorized Personnel Only_ and a set of double doors leading out to the pool. Tori strode toward the doors, and Jade followed her.

Outside, Jade could see a pool, a jacuzzi, and several poolside lounge chairs and a couple of tables. A fairly typical hotel pool setup enclosed in a high wall, but completely empty. The sun was setting, bringing the temperature of the air down outside, so probably the tourists with their kids were done with pool time for the day. Good.

Jade eyed Tori, who was looking around, too. She turned to look at Jade, “Well, since you got me down here with your keycard…” She reached into an inside pocket of her pantsuit and withdrew a small plastic tube. “I was looking for a place to smoke this,” she said, popping it open to extract a huge, beautifully rolled joint.

“Whoa,” Jade eyed it enviously, “You’re full of surprises tonight.”

Tori shrugged, “I usually vape my weed or do edibles, but, my mom gave me this. I figured I’d share it with Andre and Beck or something.” She walked over toward one of the pool loungers in the corner of the pool terrace, sitting down at the foot of it and pulling out a lighter to spark it. She watched Jade as she took her first drag, then held it out toward her, an offer.

Well, Jade wasn’t going to say no to Holly Vega’s California grade cannabis, that was for sure. She took the few steps over to sit on the lounger next to Tori, accepting the joint and taking a hit of her own. And _yeah_ , this stuff was good. Smooth, with a hint of earthy flavor even through the burning of the bud and the paper. She nodded her appreciation, passing it back to Tori.

Tori moved to settle into her lounger, leaning back as she took another drag, pointing her face skyward to let out the smoke as she passed the joint back to Jade, who had mirrored her position in her own lounger. Something about Tori in profile, the angles of her face shadowed by the setting sun, the plume of smoke rising from her lips, made it very difficult for Jade to look away. She finally turned away to exhale her own lungful of smoke, angling her face so it didn’t just drift right into Tori’s eyes.

Finally, Jade spoke, “This is some good chiz.”

Tori nodded, “Isn’t it?”

“Still doesn’t explain to me why you wanted to come to the pool to smoke it.” Jade said as Tori took her hit.

Tori smiled, and let out her smoke with her words as she passed the joint to Jade. “Well, that’s okay because you still haven’t explained to me why you followed me here.”

Jade laughed, “Honestly? Because until you showed me that joint, I thought you were pregnant.” She brought the joint to her lips.

Tori sent her a wicked smile, “What if I am pregnant?” she asked.

Jade was mid inhale and choked, coughing madly and pounding on her own chest as she weakly passed the joint back to Tori, staring at her in distress.

Tori chuckled at her, reaching over to rub her back for a moment as Jade caught her breath. “I’m not pregnant,” she told her, very decisively.

“Jesus, Vega,” Jade wheezed.

Tori just laughed, “Okay, but seriously, why did you think I was pregnant?”

Jade took a couple of deep breaths before answering. “I just thought it was weird that you weren’t drinking at dinner,” Jade said, her voice still feeling scratchy, though she was breathing easier now. “I mean, you’ve always been a lightweight, but--” she shrugged. She eyed the joint, which Tori was still just holding.

Tori must’ve taken the cue, because she took her hit and passed back to Jade, who took a smaller hit to save herself the anguish. “I don’t drink much anymore,” she said with a shrug. “Like, not really for any reason except that I prefer weed, and I knew I was planning to smoke this tonight.”

“Makes sense,” Jade replied, passing it back.

Tori eyed the joint; there was still just over half of it left. “You good?” she asked Jade.

Jade nodded. Yeah, she was pretty fucking high.

Tori took one last drag and then knocked the cherry out of the joint, crushing it into the pavement under a pink pump and slipping the rest of the joint back into its plastic tube, then tucking the tube back into her pocket. She leaned back in her lounge chair.

Jade realized Tori still hadn’t answered her question. “So, you wanted to smoke by the pool for the ambiance?” she suggested.

Tori chuckled, a total stoner laugh. “Mostly just wanted to be alone, smoke a little bit to take the edge off. It was...weirder than I expected, being back at the reunion.”

-

“No kidding,” Jade agreed. They sat in peaceful silence for a moment until Jade spoke again. “Do you think this pool is empty because no one knows how to find it?”

“It’s definitely a journey.”

“How did you even know where it was? I’m _staying here_ and I couldn’t figure it out.”

“Been here before,” was all Tori offered. She turned her head and studied Jade lounging next to her. “The reunion felt weird but this is…” Nice? Comfortable? Chill? Nothing really captured how Tori felt, being pleasantly stoned with the person she’d missed the most over the past ten years.

But Jade seemed to pick up on whatever vibe Tori was trying to comment on. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Though, there was the part where you kept staring at my chest all through dinner.”

“You practically had them _on the table_ , in front of me!”

“I was just sitting there, talking to friends.”

Tori scoffed. “You knew exactly what you were doing. You even did the little thing where you fold your arms just right and lean in.” There were a million moments in her memory that time had not yet managed to fade.

“So what if I did? You’re the one who showed up in that,” Jade gestured to Tori’s entire self. “And _those_ ,” her finger pointed directly at Tori’s glasses.

“My suit and glasses are equivalent to your breasts?” Tori asked, laughing.

Jade closed her eyes, “You just know the effect the sexy nerd vibe has on me.”

This was...interesting. They were flirting, it seemed. Not that it hadn’t been happening all through dinner, but this was specific, verbal sparring. “Yeah, I saw how quickly you searched the Pleasure Professor the second you found out.”

“I wanted to see what you were up to,” Jade replied. “And now I know.”

Well, now Jade knew _one thing_ Tori was up to. “Yeah, that’s part of it.”

Now one eye was back open and peering at Tori. “What’s the rest of it?”

Tori wasn’t about to give it up that easily. “You know, I might have been looking at your assets, but you were definitely eyefucking me across that table.”

Jade sputtered, both eyes now wide open. “I was not.” But Tori shot her a look over the bulky frames of her glasses. “I just said your whole getup was definitely a thing I’m drawn to, so is that really a surprise?” She shifted her gaze away, maybe because she’d felt like she’d offered up too much. “God, I really want to get in that jacuzzi.”

Same old Jade. “Then let’s get in.”

“I didn’t even pack a suit,” Jade said.

“What?” Tori put a hand to her chest. “The queen of jacuzzis doesn’t have a bathing suit at the ready? I thought you were always prepared.”

“Living out of suitcases means you have to downsize,” Jade explained. “And hot tubs are harder to come by in New York City than they are out here.”

Tori definitely wanted to know more about that, but she also wanted to follow through with getting Jade into this jacuzzi. “Come on.” Quickly, she slipped off her pink heels, then she stood up and slipped off her suit jacket, tucking her glasses into the inner pocket before draping it over the back of the lounge chair. Next came her white t-shirt, then her pants, leaving her standing in the bright pink bra and panties that coordinated with her suit, waiting for Jade.

“Uh,” Jade’s eyes traveled up Tori’s body and it was clear she hadn’t been expecting such an eyeful. “Yeah, okay,” she finally said, pulling off her own boots, then beginning to shed her clothes. As her cardigan came off, Tori saw that the arm that she knew once had a couple of scissors tattoos now definitely had more, but it was difficult to see much more than that. Jade, however, seemed to find her stride again as she said, “Pink, huh?”

As Jade pulled off her top and then let her jeans slip down her legs, Tori could see she was wearing a dark green matching bra and panty set. They were definitely older and possibly wiser, but some things really didn’t ever change. “So what? I like pink.”

-

A part of Jade had trouble actually believing this was happening, that she’d gotten high with Tori and was now stripping down to underwear to get in a jacuzzi (right below a sign that specifically stated proper swimwear must be worn in said jacuzzi) when they were supposed to be at their high school reunion. Though Jade wasn’t entirely sure she could find her way back to the reunion right now even if she wanted to, and she definitely didn’t want to, not when she was watching Tori in her underwear pulling her hair into a messy bun. Jade copied her action, the cool evening air making her shiver slightly, and then watched as Tori stepped into the hot tub, lowering herself in slowly, braced against the edge with both arms.

Jade realized she was staring again, and couldn’t decide if she cared, because _damn_ , Tori was _fit_ right now, lean, trim muscles standing out on her arms, a hint of abs, tight glutes. The arms had been immediately noticeable when Tori took off her suit jacket, but now they were flexing, and Jade had to force herself to look away. She stepped into the other side of the jacuzzi, trying not to leer. Though, with everything else that had already happened this evening, Jade didn’t think Tori particularly minded if she leered. She was the one who had accused her of eyefucking, as if that hadn’t been exactly what was happening behind Tori’s glasses as she stared at Jade’s tits earlier.

Or...right now, as Jade settled into the jacuzzi and noticed exactly where Tori’s gaze had ended up, yet again.

“How long has it been since you were back in LA?” Tori asked.

“My brother’s community college graduation, a couple years ago.” Jade had bounced mostly between Atlanta and New York over the last few years, with one job referring her to the next. Her mother was always delighted to come out to New York, whenever Jade allowed it happen (and, okay, their relationship had been better since Jade had moved out, and especially since Tiffany had accompanied her on the red carpet for her LA film premiere). “You’ve been back for a while now, right?” She was lightly prying, still trying to sort out the details of Tori’s life, as best she could.

“Yeah, maybe five years now?” Tori replied.

When they’d broken up, Tori’s family had still maintained contact with Jade, keeping tabs on her, making sure she knew she had support. That was something she’d truly appreciated and valued. She also knew it was a bit of an exchange, that David and Holly missed Tori while she was up in Canada, a thousand miles away. Given that Tori was back and local to the family, Jade wondered if she knew just how much she’d kept in touch with all the Vegas, even Trina.

She must’ve been caught up in that thought loop for a good minute, because now Tori was asking, “You good?” It was a stoner check-in, making sure Jade wasn’t too high.

“Oh, I’m good. I’m Jeanne Dielman good.”

The reference was one that called back to college, freshman year. Jade’s enrollment in USC film school meant she had access to more screenings than she could actually attend. It had been heaven. One of the films had been this three hour long arthouse movie titled _Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles_ , before which she and Tori had shared one of Holly’s infamous cookies. The movie was not only long, it was something of a “day in the life” film that followed a woman around her home, doing mundane chores (that somehow devolved into sex work, spoilers), so when the edible actually hit, Jade had been so unsure about what was the film itself and what was the THC working its way through her body. It had been what felt like a perfect experience, one that became their reference point any time they’d consumed cannabis after that.

Tori’s eyebrows raised as she grinned. “That good, huh?”

“Oh, yes,” Jade murmured, closing her eyes and letting herself drift for a moment in the hot water. A contented sigh from Tori across the jacuzzi told Jade she was doing something similar, though there were water sounds, telling Jade she was moving around a bit more. It was a bit of a surprise when her leg bumped Tori’s, bringing her back to herself. They’d drifted a little closer while they both enjoyed the hot water.

“So are you pretending to be soup or are you just high?” Tori asked.

“Just high,” Jade admitted, “But it feels about the same.”

“Looks about the same, too,” Tori commented, drawing Jade’s gaze to her. She was squinting very slightly without her glasses, but unless her eyesight had deteriorated rapidly over the past nine years, Jade knew Tori could see her clearly enough at this distance.

Jade smirked at her a little, letting her eyes drift to Tori’s shoulders and her arms, which rested on the ledge of the jacuzzi. Though she was mostly admiring the shape of them, the fact that Tori’s compass tattoo was now more elaborate than what Jade remembered didn’t escape her notice, though she didn’t let herself dwell on it. When her gaze returned to Tori’s face, she was smirking. “You haven’t changed much, except for the arms,” she told Tori, which wasn’t entirely true (the rest of Tori looked tight as hell, too).

Tori drifted closer, flexing a bicep and holding it out toward Jade. “You want to touch it?” she asked, voice low, alluring.

Jade swallowed. “Sure,” she murmured, leaning over in the water to run her hands over Tori’s hard upper arm and firm forearm. _Chiz_. She drew away after thoroughly groping Tori’s entire arm. “That’s...nice,” she managed.

Tori laughed, “That’s what I hear.” She had shifted so that she was nearly next to Jade in the water. Jade lifted her arms to rest them on the ledge of the hot tub, hoping she’d catch Tori looking at her boobs again in the process, and, yep, there she went.

“It’s weird,” Jade said abruptly, surprising even herself with the confession, “That like even though so much time has passed, being with you still feels the same in a lot of ways.”

“I know what you mean,” Tori replied, “I always thought some things about our breakup were harder because we never had breakup sex. Patrice says that’s bullshit, but she also admitted that some people find it to be a satisfying source of closure.”

Jade digested what Tori said about the breakup sex, but then, “You still talk to Patrice, huh?”

“Yeah,” Tori replied simply.

“I guess that makes sense, with the sex education work you do.”

“Yeah,” Tori said again, in such a faux casual way that Jade suspected something was being left out. Jade wondered if Tori still asked Patrice weird, personal questions about things like body hair. She could just picture Tori running to call Patrice after a one-night stand to ask about something that had happened. Aaand, now Jade was thinking about Tori and sex again.

“You really think breakup sex would’ve made things easier?” Jade asked the question directly this time. Tori was the one who brought it up, anyway.

Tori shrugged, “Maybe. It’s hard to say.”

“Well, too bad we missed the window, I guess.”

“Who ever said there was a time limit on breakup sex?” Tori asked. She had drifted right next to Jade at this point.

Jade stared at her, letting her eyes drift to Tori’s mouth. “That’s a good point,” she murmured.

It was impossible to say who moved first, and it didn’t matter to Jade, because they were kissing, in their underwear in a hotel jacuzzi, and like so many other aspects of their interaction tonight, they fell back into kissing like they’d never stopped. Tori’s tongue swept over Jade’s bottom lip in a way that made Jade stifle a whimper, hand on the ledge of the hot tub moving to Tori’s jaw, feeling Tori’s hand under the water sliding across her stomach to grasp her side. Jade slid her hand down Tori’s back, urging her closer, and Tori took the invitation to straddle Jade’s hips, arms resting on the edge of the jacuzzi next to Jade’s head, still kissing her. Jade wrapped her arms around Tori’s hips to keep her in place, realizing that this was really the first time they’d touched in so many years. It was so familiar, yet small differences made themselves known--the way Tori’s tongue flicked against her lips, the feeling of more muscle under Tori’s skin, the way that Tori’s breasts looked exceptional--who knew if they’d gotten bigger somehow or if it was just the way her bra fit her. But the experience of Tori kissing her in a jacuzzi was familiar in so many other ways, Jade felt her body reacting powerfully, knowing that this scenario often led to more.

Also, maybe it had been a little while since she’d...well. No reason to think about that right now, especially not when Tori’s lips were on her neck and, oh god, Jade couldn’t even bring herself to care if she was leaving a mark or not. “You know,” Jade managed, “I have a room here.”

Tori lifted her head, gazing down at Jade from her position astride her in the water. “Guess we’d better get out of this jacuzzi then, huh?” She kissed Jade one more time, then her lips were right next to Jade’s ear, “You should go get us some towels,” she murmured, and heat flooded Jade’s body.

“Why me?” Jade got out through her tight throat and pounding heart.

“You’re the hotel guest here,” Tori pushed off of Jade’s lap from the side of the hot tub, letting herself drift to the other side of it, leaving Jade free to get up.

Which she did, though she cursed under her breath at the cold air as she hurried over to the wicker shelving unit of guest towels that was, of course, across the terrace from the jacuzzi. She grabbed one and wrapped up in it, drying herself off as quickly as possible, and turned to see Tori, chin on her hands at the edge of the hot tub, watching her with a smirk. “If you don’t come get this towel, I’m throwing it in there with you,” Jade warned, holding one up.

Tori’s grin widened and she lifted herself out of the hot tub, and Jade took in all of her toned, wet body as Tori hurried over in her pink underwear to grab the offered towel. They dried off, then wrapped the towels around themselves, slipped on their shoes, Tori put back on her glasses, and they gathered their clothes in their arms and made their way to the elevator together.

“What’s your room number?” Tori asked.

“419,” Jade replied.

Tori laughed that stoner laugh again, “Right next door to 420.”

“It’s across the hall, but yes,” Jade grinned. In the elevator, their arms occupied keeping their towels closed and holding their clothes, there wasn’t really an opportunity to make out heavily, but that didn’t stop Tori from leaning into Jade to kiss her until the elevator shuddered to a stop, leaving Jade breathless as they hurried down the third floor hallway to the stairwell; her room was in the other tower of the hotel.

They hurried down the hall, which led to the open courtyard bar, the one that Trina and Beck had stopped at on their way into the reunion.

Aaaand the one Tori was now stopping at. As they hurried past, Jade caught the moment she stopped, completely changing trajectory to scurry backwards and then approach the bar. Jade followed, curious.

“Hi,” Tori flashed a smile at the bartender and gestured to the bins full of fruit garnishes for the drinks, “I just kind of want...some of those orange slices.”

“Orange slices,” Jade deadpanned, “Seriously?”

“Don’t they sound good right now?” Tori asked her.

“Actually, yeah,” Jade watched as the bartender finished the drink he was making.

“Can I get,” Tori addressed the bartender again, “Like, a bowl of the orange slices? Please?”

“Okay,” the bartender replied, grabbing a little ceramic dish and piling orange slices into it.

“Thanks,” Tori said cheerfully, “Um, you can bill...whatever that costs to room 419.” Jade almost opened her mouth to argue, then remembered Beck was paying for the room. “And,” Tori was juggling her clothes to reach into the purse, pulling out some bills, “That’s for you.”

The bartender nodded his thanks. “Enjoy the oranges.”

“Thank you!” Tori replied sweetly.

“Why didn’t you just pay him for the oranges with your money?” Jade asked.

Tori shrugged, “More fun that way.” She started backing away from the bar. Behind her, Jade saw a couple of students they definitely went to school with, sharing a big basket of nachos at one of the tables and watching them. She wracked her brain, trying to remember anyone’s name.

As they hurried through the courtyard, Jade asked Tori, “Was that...Piper back there?”

“You mean Pepper Morgan? Yes, that was her. Come on, elevator’s this way.”

“I _know_ where the elevator to my own room is,” Jade snarked.

And, giggling, feeling weirdly like they were getting away with something as they carried their clothes and their bowl of oranges through the hotel lobby, running from their former classmates’ curious gazes, Jade reached the elevator first and managed to press the call button.

Once inside, Tori ate one of the orange slices with a groan, “Oh man, they’re so good.” She held the bowl toward Jade, who adjusted her grip on her clothes to pick up a slice and eat it, eyes closing briefly in pleasure at the surprisingly strong citrus flavor.

“This might be the best orange I’ve ever eaten,” Jade agreed.

For some reason, Tori thought this was hilarious and laughed her way through her next slice as the elevator door opened, and, giggling and trying to be respectful of their noise level, they scurried down the hall toward Jade’s room, working their way through the oranges with clumsy hands. At the door, Jade fumbled through her pants pockets until she found her keycard and swiped it, pushing open the door.

Jade unceremoniously dropped her clothes on top of her luggage and tossed the damp pool towel into the bathroom, while Tori set her orange bowl down on the dresser, dumped her own armful of belongings onto one empty chair and draped her towel over the adjacent chair. Jade had just enough time for it to really sink in that Tori was in her room, that they were about to have sex for the first time in almost a decade. The breakup sex Jade never knew she needed until right now.

She guessed it was long past time that she put whatever was lingering between herself and Tori to bed. Literally.

And abruptly, Tori was pressing her against the door to her room, hands on Jade’s shoulders, hips aligning with hers, warm skin pressing against Jade’s. Jade took a moment to comprehend her position as Tori kissed her wildly, and then moved her hands to Tori’s hips, pulling closer. Tori’s hand slipped up to Jade’s jaw, tilting her head to trail her lips down Jade’s neck. Jade let out a wanton moan. Fuck, she was high and Tori was seducing her. It was hard not to completely lose herself in sensation.

Jade ran her hands up Tori’s back to unhook her bra, pleased that this was a skill she definitely still had. Tori pulled back, eyes alight and amused as she took off her wet bra and dropped it on the floor, then she surged back against Jade, kissing her and wrapping her arms around Jade’s body to unhook her bra, putting enough distance between their chests for Jade to let her bra slip off her arms, not even pausing the kiss. And then Tori’s hands were cupping both breasts, and Jade heard and felt her sharp intake of breath through the kisses. She grinned. Yeah, some things definitely never changed.

Tori pulled away, resting her forehead against Jade’s, fingers still kneading the flesh of her breasts almost absently. “We need to shower before we go any further,” she murmured.

Jade knew she was right; she felt the jacuzzi water like a film on her skin. She reached to grab one of Tori’s wrists, pulling her toward the bathroom. “Come on. The shower is really nice.”

“Okay,” Tori smirked.

The hotel bathroom was spacious, with a large, glass fronted shower in the corner. Jade reached in to turn the water on, turning to see Tori was already stepping out of her chlorine-soaked panties, and oh god, she was seeing Tori naked for the first time again.

Jade stared openly as Tori slipped her glasses off and set them on the bathroom counter next to the card about housekeeping and towels, then remembered she should remove her own underwear. And, as she straightened back up, she absolutely caught Tori ogling her.

“Coming?” Jade asked, feeling triumphant to have caught Tori off-guard at least once tonight.

“Uh huh,” Tori’s eyes were on her breasts until Jade turned to step into the shower. Tori followed her inside.

There was actually enough room for both of them to avoid getting their hair wet as they soaped up with the body wash from the dispenser on the wall. Jade absolutely wanted to touch Tori, to feel her skin, wet and soap-slick beneath her hands, but she was on a mission, and knew Tori was, too. The sooner they finished showering, the sooner they could move on to...better activities.

They soaped up, taking turns standing in front of the spray. Jade was pretty sure she was about done, and was doing a final thorough rinse under the spray. Behind her, Tori said quietly, “Hey, switch with me one more time.”

“Sure,” Jade murmured, turning to let Tori pass around her.

Instantly, she felt hot, wet skin as Tori pressed herself flush against Jade’s back, hands reaching past her on either side of her to plant themselves on the dark tiled shower wall. Jade smirked, turning her head, but then Tori’s mouth was just next to her ear, “Hands on the wall,” she murmured, softly, but with unmistakable authority.

Jade felt heat flood her at Tori’s words, and something stirred in her chest that made her consider turning around anyway, but then she felt Tori’s lips sucking gently on her earlobe and she had no choice but to steady herself on the wall in front of her, eyes fluttering shut and a whimper falling from her lips, entirely without her permission. _Fuck_ , okay.

Tori nibbled her earlobe gently, lips caressing their way down Jade’s neck, and Jade just floated with the sensation helplessly in the steam of the shower. She felt Tori’s hands caressing her breasts slowly, fingers closing over her nipples to pinch them carefully, simultaneously, making Jade arch against her, head falling back against Tori’s shoulder as she sucked at the tender skin just above Jade’s collarbone, forcing a moan out of Jade’s throat.

“ _Fuck_ , Tori,” she got out through her raw throat.

Maybe Tori took that as an invitation. Or maybe it was just what she was going to do anyway, but while one hand continued running fingers over her nipple, the other hand slid down Jade’s stomach, fingernails pressing deliberately into the taut skin, and then softer fingertips followed the trajectory past Jade’s hips, deftly slipping between her legs.

All Jade could do was hold herself up against the shower wall, willing her legs not to buckle as Tori’s fingers swirled through wetness, deliberately sweeping right past her clit multiple times, so that Jade knew it was intentional. Jade grit her teeth to keep the whine in her throat at bay, lifting her hips to chase Tori’s hand, willing her to actually touch her.

And abruptly, both of Tori’s hands stopped moving, and her mouth was right next to Jade’s ear again, the heat of it making Jade’s head swim. “Better hurry up in here, because I’m just getting started,” Tori murmured, and then she pulled away entirely and stepped out of the shower, leaving Jade barely upright in a cloud of steam, shower spray pelting the backs of her legs.

Jade collected herself shakily, feeling entirely too high for whatever Tori was bringing to the table. Tori had always been sexy, at least Jade thought so, but this was on another level. She turned off the water and stepped out on trembling legs, grabbing a fresh towel and drying off quickly. Tori was nowhere to be seen, and there was a second towel hanging next to the one Jade had used the night before. Jade hung up her new towel as soon as she was dry, and stepped out of the bathroom to find Tori standing at the foot of the bed, where the sheets were already turned down over the bedspread, shaking out her hair from that messy bun and smirking.

Jade stepped right up to her, taking Tori’s face in both her hands and kissing her with all the unspent passion Tori had just built up within her in the shower. She felt Tori grin against her mouth, felt Tori’s hands slide up her back to her hair, tugging off the hair tie to let it down, one hand fisting into her hair, the other sliding all the way down Jade’s spine to grab her ass, bringing Jade closer to her. Jade continued with that momentum, turning and backing Tori toward the foot of the bed. Tori, perhaps anticipating what came next, loosened her grip on Jade, and Jade took the opportunity to put her hands on Tori’s shoulders and pushed her back onto the bed.

Tori gazed up at her with a lazy grin as Jade climbed after her, the two of them shifting further up onto the bed, before Jade settled on top of her, legs intertwining, lips meeting once again. One of Tori’s hands was back in Jade’s hair, the other wrapped around her body, while Jade let hers explore the new skin of Tori’s torso, fingers digging into her abs and hands caressing over her breasts. Had her breasts always been this nice? Jade moaned against her lips as she felt Tori’s thigh lift between her legs, and their hips began to move, quickly finding a familiar rhythm. She felt herself, so wet against Tori’s thigh that friction disappeared almost immediately, felt for the first time how wet Tori was as Jade ground against her, and had to pull away from kissing Tori to just _breathe_ for a moment.

Tori’s hand moved from her hair to her face, cupping Jade’s cheek for a moment as she searched her eyes. Jade tilted her head just enough to take Tori’s thumb into her mouth, sucking delicately, watching the way it made Tori’s features relax in delight and desire. And everything was so intense, all of Tori’s skin against hers, her eyes, warm and eager, that Jade had to slow down. Breakup sex couldn’t be over in less than five minutes, but if she didn’t switch tactics, it might be.

Jade let go of Tori’s finger and lowered her mouth again, kissing her slowly, lifting her hips up and reaching between their bodies to touch Tori, letting her fingers glide through abundant wetness, dipping to tease lower before slipping back up. She lifted her mouth away from Tori’s to whisper, “Fuck, Tori. You’re soaked.” Even hearing Tori’s name coming from her own mouth was enough to make her tremble a little, realizing as she said it how _easy_ it still was for it to fall from her lips; Tori had already gotten her to moan it in the shower, too. Something else that Tori still could bring out of her, she supposed.

But then Jade felt Tori’s hand, grasping her hip in a way that shot a spike of arousal through her--which Tori would know, of course--and then fingers between her legs again. But this time, they weren’t just teasing; they were swirling deliberately over her clit. Jade struggled to maintain her focus on touching Tori. “Jade,” Tori murmured softly.

“Yeah?” Jade breathed.

Tori began sitting up, forcing Jade to do the same. Tori grabbed her hair with her other hand and drew her in for a kiss, then said, “I’m trying to do something and you’re being _very_ distracting.”

Jade laughed before she could help herself, remembering all the times she’d said something very similar to Tori when they were together. Tori grinned, too, and pulled Jade in for another round of sweet, soft kisses. They’d both stopped touching each other when they sat up, and Jade leaned more into Tori, aiming to push her back down onto her back.

But Tori beat her to it, wrapping an arm around Jade and twisting until she coaxed Jade onto her back, climbing across her body to settle on her other side, letting her right hand settle between Jade’s legs again. Jade reached between their bodies to touch Tori, trying in vain to keep distracting her, grabbing her hair to pull Tori back down for a kiss.

They continued like that for a few moments, each trying to gain the upper hand, but Tori’s fingers slipped lower, and Jade’s back arched as she felt them begin to slowly push inside of her and she groaned against Tori’s lips before her head fell back, and she heard Tori chuckle against the skin of her throat as she placed gentle kisses there.

Well, if Tori was going to do that, Jade wasn’t going to keep distracting her. Instead, she grasped at Tori’s back, digging her fingertips into her shoulder blades, feeling the way Tori’s fingers filled her, then pulled out slowly, only to sink back inside, slow strokes that made Jade gasp for breath in time with them.

Tori nibbled and kissed along her shoulder, fingers thrusting and stroking so deliberately and unhurriedly that Jade felt like she was being teased again, though at the same time, she felt each minute motion of Tori’s fingers as fully as if Tori’s touch filled her whole being. Her back arched as Tori’s fingers slipped inside of her, curling and pressing as they sank in deep, and Tori’s lips dipped down to follow the curve of Jade’s breast as it lifted invitingly with the bowing of Jade’s body. Jade sank back against the mattress only to feel her hips rise as Tori sucked on the skin just beside her nipple as her fingers slid out, stroking all along Jade’s walls as they did so. Jade felt like every part of her was awake, alight, _alive_ as Tori’s tongue swirled all over her nipple, sucking firmly, teeth pinching lightly, as she thrust back inside again.

Jade let out a guttural moan, non-verbal with all the stimulation, amplified by her high, and lifted her hand to her mouth, biting her thumb, trying to ground herself. It was a habit she’d picked up a long time ago, during her struggles to stay quiet while having sex in Tori’s bedroom, back when Tori still lived at home, one that still occasionally came out depending on the circumstances. She didn’t really understand the impulse here, just that it felt right.

Tori seemed to understand that Jade needed more, and immediately, Jade felt the pace of the thrusts of her fingers pick up, steady and purposeful movements, the heel of Tori’s hand shifting upwards, putting direct pressure on Jade’s clit as her fingers never ceased their movement. She kissed her way to Jade’s other nipple, lavishing attention on it with her tongue, tugging gently with her teeth until Jade cried out in surprise, the sound muffled against her hand between her teeth, feeling herself clench hard around Tori’s fingers.

Tori lifted her head, tilted it curiously at Jade as her fingers continued their steady rhythm. “You don’t need to stay quiet, you know. We’re in a hotel.” Her voice was smooth, warm, and felt like a caress over Jade’s body.

“I know,” Jade panted around her hand, biting harder as the stimulation of Tori’s fingers washed over her anew.

Tori stopped moving her fingers entirely. “Then stop,” she ordered, voice a command though its tone hadn’t changed from velvety soft, “Because I want to hear you.”

Jade arched, clenching around Tori’s stationary fingers, hand falling from her mouth as she groaned loudly. She heard Tori’s satisfied chuckle as she continued the movements of her hand between Jade’s legs and lowered her face back down to Jade’s breast. Jade reached for Tori with needy hands, burying her fingers in Tori’s hair, grabbing and pulling it just to hear Tori moan softly around her nipple.

Maybe spurred by Jade’s attention to her hair, by Jade’s nails digging into her lower back, Tori’s fingers started moving in quicker, shorter, more powerful thrusts. And Jade’s hips lifted, trying impossibly to match her rhythm, feeling everything building rapidly, the way Tori inside of her felt more potent as Jade squeezed her, body tightening, coiling.

“You gonna come for me?” Tori murmured, lips brushing Jade’s nipple.

That was all it took. Jade’s back bowed and the hand on Tori’s back shot to her side to grip the sheets as she clenched hard around Tori’s fingers, and she had a singular moment of clarity just before everything came crashing down around her, crying out, hips undulating, hearing Tori’s satisfied moans against her breast, the continuing strokes of her fingers, as the world went simultaneously white hot and black behind Jade’s eyelids.

-

Tori still remembered the first time she had Jade West naked in front of her, all pale skin, the wild curves of breasts, waist, hips, the joy of their sexual exploration. It was still such a potent memory, probably because Jade was her first in so many ways, and having Jade naked in front of her again felt weirdly like memory come to life. Of course, after almost ten years, Jade didn’t look exactly the same--the firmness of her stomach was new, she was curvier in all the right places--but the _essence_ of her was the same. There wasn’t really a better way to describe the familiarity of kissing down her neck, of burying her face into breasts that still took her breath away. To the way Jade’s moans still escalated in pitch and volume as she got close to coming, and how when she came, she squeezed Tori’s fingers so tightly she almost couldn’t keep moving them.

Tori tried anyway, an attempt to prolong Jade’s orgasm, her face still buried in her breasts, feeling elated that she had gotten Jade off first. Jade was still so sexy without even trying, and getting her on her back and making her come was incredibly arousing. She kept up the stimulation until the fingers in her hair finally loosened, and Jade patted at her head, “Oh god, okay, okay,” Jade whimpered breathlessly. She was lying bonelessly on the mattress, eyes glazed over, and Tori was pretty sure she wasn’t actually seeing anything in front of her. She slipped her fingers out of Jade, feeling the way it made her whole body tremble for a moment, feeling Jade reaching for her. She leaned up to kiss Jade thoroughly, feeling her whimper and then sigh against her lips.

But Tori wasn’t finished with her. If other aspects of Jade remained true, she was useless after an orgasm, especially one that involved penetration. Probably doubly so right now, given that they were high. And Tori was far too worked up to wait for Jade, right now.

So Tori sat back, and Jade watched her hazily, clearly still recovering from her orgasm. Tori was still straddling Jade’s right leg, and she grabbed Jade’s left leg, lifting carefully, wondering if Jade was as flexible as she used to be as she slung the leg over her shoulder. Evidently, she was, as Tori tested her range of motion by leaning forward slightly.

Jade was watching her curiously now, clearly beginning to regain her bearings, and Tori saw the moment her eyes rolled back in her head and she moaned as Tori lowered herself, gasping as she felt Jade wet beneath her.

And okay, maybe this was something else she was eager to bring to the table: scissoring Jade West. They’d played around with it a few times during their relationship when they were younger, but though they’d mastered dry (and not so dry) humping, they’d never really gotten anywhere with scissoring, and it wasn’t until later that Tori figured out what position actually worked for her when it came to this kind of activity. And this was it, grinding directly against Jade, steadying herself with one arm around Jade’s leg, other hand on her chest. The distinction between grinding and scissoring was minimal, but Tori knew that Jade would perceive the difference.

Jade was staring directly at the motion of Tori’s hips, the connection between their bodies, her lips parted. Tori grinned and picked up the pace of her movements, feeling their soft flesh sliding together, moving easily with all the wetness, Tori grinding down against Jade’s pelvis. It really wasn’t going to take much, Tori knew, though she was tempted to hold off, to prolong the experience, especially when Jade reached for her wrist, and Tori lifted her hand from Jade’s breast to interlock their fingers, holding onto Jade, letting her keep her steady as her grinding grew more frantic, chasing her rapidly building pleasure.

“Fuck,” Jade breathed, watching her. Tori wished she would say her name again (it brought back a lot of really good memories), and she locked eyes with her. Jade’s eyes were slightly red from smoking, shining with arousal and desire, and so blue it hurt. She held on firmly to Jade’s hand and her leg, head tipping back and her eyes closing as arousal rolled through her.

A few more deliberate, firm jolts of her hips and Tori was abruptly shuddering, shaking, groaning, clinging onto Jade as her hips thrust beyond her control now, riding out her orgasm directly onto the soft flesh pressed against her own.

Jade seemed to sense the precariousness of her position, because she half sat up, reaching for Tori, who was detaching herself from Jade’s leg and trying to lie down. Jade groaned as her leg was finally released, allowed to relax onto the bed, but all Tori could really think about was the way Jade held her to her breast, kissing the top of her head as Tori shivered slightly with the aftershocks of her orgasm.

-

Jade wondered if Tori could feel her heart pounding as she pressed her face to her chest, letting Jade hold her as they both recovered from Tori’s orgasm. It had been unexpected but utterly sexy to watch Tori simply take what she wanted from Jade while she was still regaining her senses after being finger fucked into oblivion (there was no better way to put it). Jade couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such incredible sex, but there was a sinking sensation at the realization that it was over. And she’d barely gotten to touch Tori. As intensely hot as it had been for Tori to scissor her--guess they’d finally figured _that_ one out--to feel how wet Tori was as she ground against her, it was also just Jade, on her back, watching Tori get herself off.

Jade didn’t mind that sometimes, letting someone else take their pleasure from her body with minimal effort from her. But if this was it, if this was all they were going to have, the breakup sex that would allow them to pull everything to a close, then...Jade needed more.

She let Tori recover on her breasts for a moment, waiting until she felt Tori start to mindlessly kiss them. She grinned, stroking Tori’s jaw with her hand until she lifted her head to meet Jade’s lips in a kiss. Jade wrapped her arms around her, then her leg, and then she was rolling, bearing Tori over and onto her back, hovering over her.

This wasn’t over. It might take some time for Tori to get there--though, maybe not, with the way she tended to come quickly, back when they were dating--but Jade needed to give her pleasure. She needed to refamiliarize herself with every part of Tori, to leave herself with the kind of memories that meant she couldn’t have any regrets.

Tori was smirking at her, blinking and refocusing, seeming to come back to herself after being flipped. “What’re you up to?” she asked Jade.

“You made yourself come,” Jade explained succinctly. Tori opened her mouth as if she were going to argue with that characterization of the sex they’d just had, but Jade cut her off. “My turn,” she growled, leaning down to kiss the words right off her lips.

Tori responded immediately, hands in Jade’s hair as she kissed back eagerly, seemingly already recovered from her orgasm. Well, she’d always been pretty quick at that, too. It was so weird to Jade how much had changed, but yet this was still _Tori_ , who grinned a wide goofy grin at her as Jade started kissing her way down her body, who chuckled her stoned laugh and squirmed as Jade left fluttery kisses on her stomach, but then, moments later, gasped and whimpered as Jade kissed her way back up to Tori’s breasts, then let out a stuttering moan as Jade sucked firmly on the skin of her cleavage just next to her sternum, fully intending to leave a mark. Tori’s hand tugged at her hair, making Jade moan and almost lose her focus, but she pulled away long moments later to triumphantly take in the little bruise she’d left on Tori’s skin.

Tori was watching her with her eyebrow quirked, smirking, and Jade had a feeling she’d better subdue her quickly, because that was a familiar look. She reached for Tori’s other hand, interlacing her fingers, just to keep her from distracting Jade too much as she kissed her way down Tori’s body again, treading more carefully across her ticklish stomach now (those abs required her attention, to be honest). She let her lips guide her to Tori’s hip bone, licking and sucking at the thin skin there, making Tori squirm, but more this time, fingers tightening in Jade’s hair.

Jade paused for a moment, inhaling the scent of Tori’s skin, of Tori’s arousal, letting the sharp focus of sensation of her high brain crystalize the moment for her, and then Jade’s lips began to follow the soft crease of Tori’s inner thigh to where Tori’s flesh was already hot and wet and waiting for her.

Jade glanced up at Tori, pressing her lips against Tori’s thigh as she met dark eyes, wanting some kind of reaction, maybe some kind of permission. She got her answer when Tori pushed herself further back against the pillows at the head of the bed, giving Jade room to get down on her stomach, wrap her arms around Tori’s thighs, and really get to work.

And damn, was Jade ready to.

She let her tongue swirl over Tori’s flesh, orienting herself, flicking past Tori’s clit but not too intensely, aware that it could still be sensitive from Tori’s recent orgasm. Instead, she let her mouth explore other parts of her, sucking gently on soft flesh, letting the headrush of the experience flood her veins: the way Tori got vocal, gasping and whining as Jade’s tongue explored, the way she tugged at Jade’s hair, encouraging her, the way her hips lifted subtly with the motion of Jade’s tongue, the familiarity of the way Tori tasted. It seemed impossible that she could remember how Tori tasted after so long, but the sense memory was a powerful one, and made Jade settle into what she was doing with so much more comfort and ease. If there was one thing she knew how to do, it was go down on Tori Vega.

She let her tongue drift lower, swirling at Tori’s entrance before slipping inside, teasing, feeling Tori’s hips push against her, urging Jade to give her more. Jade smirked against the very flesh she was currently teasing, releasing one of Tori’s thighs as she resettled herself before Tori, tongue shifting higher, pressing along and into slick folds just beside Tori’s clit. She glanced up Tori’s body, noticing the way Tori’s whole torso seemed to move with her breaths, and the way Tori was staring down at her, jaw slack, but eyes bright with awareness, almost certainly recognizing what Jade’s next move would be.

Jade didn’t care if Tori knew exactly what was about to happen. Because another thing she wasn’t going to leave without doing was fingering Tori.

She watched Tori inhale in anticipation as Jade’s fingertips teased, and then Jade let her middle finger slip inside, sinking fully to the knuckle of Jade’s hand, and Tori’s answering sigh washed over Jade like an incantation of power. And then Jade cursed herself, realizing she’d closed her eyes at the sensation of being inside Tori, all hot and wet and pulsing, forgetting to watch Tori, and she opened her eyes again as she drew her finger back out, and then slid two inside easily, watching the way Tori’s entire body flexed and bowed at the contact, listening to the stuttering moan fall from her lips.

Jade’s eyes closed in concentration as she curled her fingers, centering the motion of her tongue on Tori’s clit now, listening to the way Tori’s moan changed as Jade’s fingers and tongue worked in tandem. Jade lifted slightly, leaning on the other arm wrapped around Tori’s thigh, giving her more leverage to thrust her fingers, curling deep inside Tori with each motion, her tongue swirling. Tori’s hips were lifting eagerly now, and Jade gripped her thigh harder, trying to maintain control. Once, she’d been pretty good at keeping up with the answering thrusts of Tori’s hips against her face, but especially combined with fingering, it was harder.

Especially when Tori groaned out, “God, Jade, just suck my clit.”

Heat flared through Jade’s body, literally from her head to her toes, followed by a shivering wave of arousal. She realized she’d stopped all movement for a split second and pressed gamely on, doing exactly what she was doing before, refusing to obey Tori so she wouldn’t know the profound effect her words had on her. As if she’d forgotten what Tori needed to get off from oral. She would do it when she was damn well ready. (But _goddamn_ , when had Tori started getting so _specific_?)

Tori’s fingers tightened in her hair, her mouth releasing a desperate whine, the motion of her hips unceasing, not even matching the thrusts of Jade’s fingers. Tori was getting desperate, and Jade glanced up to see her head thrown back, her other hand out of sight next to her, probably gripping the bed sheets.

If Jade could only speak right now, she’d absolutely make Tori beg for it.

But then Tori was looking down her body at Jade, brows constricted, eyes intense. “ _Jade_ ,” Tori said sharply.

Okay, it should not be so hot to hear Tori say her name like that, but it was. Jade closed her eyes and gave Tori what she needed, wrapping her lips around Tori’s clit and sucking gently, flicking her tongue over it rapidly. And mere seconds later, Tori was coming, the hand in Jade’s hair holding her steady as her hips rolled against Jade’s mouth, as she pulsated around Jade’s fingers, voice in her throat almost a scream.

-

This time, when Tori came, the intensity of everything felt like it had tripled, and when she finally felt wrung out, she let go of Jade’s hair and reached for her, needing the physicality of her to ground Tori, to bring her back to herself. Jade was there in a moment, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, draping herself over Tori and pressing still-wet kisses onto her skin, slick fingers dragging along the sheets before grasping at Tori’s body comfortingly, breasts soft and full against Tori’s own.

Tori caught her breath in Jade’s arms, thinking about how everything had built up with all the pieces Jade had lined up coming together--her fingers, her mouth, even her teasing, which was _so like_ Jade that Tori honestly should have anticipated it, Jade playfully refusing to do what Tori asked for in bed, at least until Jade decided it was time. Early on when they’d been dating, Jade had been eager to please, but later on, she’d discovered some of the ways she really enjoyed teasing Tori. Tori honestly thought she might have eager-to-please Jade in bed with her tonight, given the enthusiasm of her fingers and her mouth, but to be proven wrong had been rather exciting, honestly.

They lay together, and Tori thought about the way Jade had taken action, how much she’d clearly wanted to go down on her. Tori could relate. It was idle as she spoke, recovering her sense of self, “I wish I’d gone down on you, too,” she sighed.

Jade kissed her temple. “What’s stopping you?” she murmured.

Tori’s eyes snapped open, the haze of her post-orgasmic brain already fading. Relief filled her: Jade wasn’t ready for this to be over, either. A slow grin transformed Tori’s face at the realization that she was going to get to go down on Jade now.

Tori pushed at Jade’s shoulder, already wetting her lips eagerly. Grinning widely, Jade allowed herself to be pushed back over onto her back, letting Tori settle on top of her. Tori kissed her, tasting her lips, letting her mouth express her gratitude for her, both for the intense orgasm she’d just been given and for the opportunity to do something in bed she really loved. Especially something that she loved to do to Jade; a small part of her ego still swelled at the fact that she’d been the one to get Jade to enjoy oral. It was hard to forget that kind of victory.

And even though it was becoming familiar territory once again, Tori forced herself to take her time kissing her way down Jade’s body, knowing that this would be her last chance to do so. She buried her face back in her breasts, inhaling the scent of her skin, letting her hand trail down between Jade’s legs to keep her from getting impatient as Tori left harsh kisses all over her breasts, losing count of the hickeys she’d left. She swirled her fingers over Jade’s clit as she kissed her ribs, slipping her fingers inside once again just to make Jade arch off the bed so she could wrap her arm around her, holding her as her lips covered her torso.

But eventually, she was on her stomach in front of Jade, arms around her thighs, gripping Jade’s hips in that way she knew made Jade drip.

She took a moment to let her position sink in, Jade watching her eagerly, expectantly, as Tori just breathed, until Jade’s patience ran out and she let her head fall back, groaning softly with need. And then, Tori let her mouth envelope warm, wet flesh.

-

Jade had experienced some good oral sex in her life since their breakup, but there was definitely a part of her that had always looked back fondly on that particular kind of sex she’d had with Tori. Maybe it was just the gratitude that Tori had managed to make her enjoy it, or just plain nostalgia for her longest sexual relationship, the one where she’d had the most time to really get close to someone and explore. But if someone had pressed her, she’d have to say that Tori gave the best oral sex out of any of her partners.

And yet somehow, she’d improved.

Jade might not have believed it if she weren’t experiencing it. And okay, maybe it was the fact that she was high, or maybe it was just that it had been so long since anyone had done this, or maybe it was just all the memories this evening was bringing back up, and the way she and Tori still fit together sexually like they’d never stopped. Maybe it wasn’t Tori’s raw skill at all, but everything else surrounding it.

It was hard to analyze anything, though, with Tori’s mouth on her, tongue flicking and swirling so rapidly that Jade couldn’t even begin to describe what, exactly, was happening, Tori’s hands gripping her hips in a way that was both reassuring and possessive. Jade lifted her hips up to Tori’s mouth, feeling Tori’s hands move to support Jade’s body as her tongue continued moving, even more direct now.

Jade couldn’t even offer words of encouragement, or requests for anything different...not that she really needed anything else, with the way her body was already beginning to coil tighter and tighter with arousal. She’d been helplessly grabbing at the sheets, moans pouring out of her mouth, and now she had to grab Tori’s hair, the only part of her she could really reach, to let Tori know she was here with her, that they were connected, that this was--

Jade didn’t even know _what_ it was, because she was already coming again, hips jolting against Tori’s face, crying out, body undulating with the rippling shockwaves of her orgasm, fingers gripping Tori’s hair and the sheets tightly, as if she might float away.

And it wasn’t far off, Jade reflected idly as she slowly returned to her body, to herself, because for a minute there, she kinda was floating.

Tori was snuggled up next to her, brushing hair off of Jade’s face and kissing her softly. Jade reached for her, holding her wordlessly, focusing on breathing, on the way her body still trembled, on Tori’s warm expression, full of affection and glee.

They snuggled like that for a long moment, with Tori eventually ending up on her side, Jade spooning her from behind, their legs still tangled together, hands clasping together at Tori’s chest. Tori’s moustache tattoo on her shoulder blade was right in front of Jade’s face, and after studying it with her eyes for awhile, she began to enhance her examination with her mouth, kissing the smooth skin, remembering when Tori had gotten this image inked onto her body, how Jade had helped her apply ointment and lotion to it as it healed. She closed her eyes, letting her lips rest on Tori’s skin, letting the comfort of having Tori in her arms wash over her.

And, sort of consciously but also just Jade’s body following her instincts, her hand was starting to run over Tori’s skin, traveling slowly lower. Jade wasn’t entirely sure what her goal was, but she just wanted to keep touching Tori.

Tori certainly seemed receptive to Jade’s touches, pressing herself back more against Jade’s body as her fingers trailed over Tori’s stomach (just _when_ had she gotten so toned?), down to her hips. She kissed Tori’s shoulder, just over her tattoo, as her fingers slipped between Tori’s legs again, listening to the ragged sigh that fell from Tori’s mouth at the touch, the way her ass wriggled against Jade’s hips, seeking more contact.

Jade hooked her foot around Tori’s ankle, shifted so that Tori’s legs parted, giving her greater access as she teased. She still didn’t exactly know what she wanted to do with Tori, and honestly, even just holding her this way and making her come would be incredible, but she was also considering what else she might be able to do.

Tori writhed against her, panting out little moans, turning to look at Jade over her shoulder, looking like she wanted to kiss her, but the angle wasn’t quite right. Jade closed her eyes and pressed more kisses to the moustache tattoo instead.

Until, abruptly, Tori was shifting, turning in her arms. “On your back,” she directed, so confidently that Jade obeyed with little thought, already eager to see what Tori was going to do.

Tori climbed on top of her, leaning over her to kiss Jade, mouth so ferocious that Jade felt like she might get devoured once again, Tori’s intense focus already bringing Jade right up to her level, the erotic energy swirling between them as their bodies aligned. Tori settled in place, legs entwined, grinding herself down on Jade’s thigh, the apex of her hip and thigh pressed between Jade’s legs.

Jade grinned against Tori’s lips. This had absolutely been one of Tori’s favorite ways to get off when they were together, and though it hadn’t always been extremely effective for Jade, she was definitely enjoying it now, lifting her hips to make contact with Tori’s body, feeling Tori wet against her. She knew this would probably end with Tori clinging to her and shaking through her orgasm and Jade was absolutely here for it.

-

Tori could’ve let Jade just hold her and touch her until she came--she had no doubt Jade would’ve gotten her there--but she didn’t want to give Jade the satisfaction of getting her off so easily. No, Tori wanted something more, to make a few more memories with Jade that she could look back on fondly as she finally let go of that little naive optimistic part of her that had once believed they’d work it out somehow. Because so much had changed now, and at least they could offer each other closure.

So Tori chose another activity she loved doing, one that she didn’t always get to do; some partners she’d had since Jade hadn’t been so into grinding, but she remembered Jade had always enjoyed watching Tori come this way. And from the eager hum in Jade’s throat as they kissed, it seemed Jade was totally on board.

Over time, Tori had learned to work with her typically hair-trigger orgasmic response; the responsiveness of her body that Patrice had long ago told her to just enjoy hadn’t caused any issues when she was dating Jade, though even as far as back in their relationship, she had started to focus on holding back a little bit, trying to last longer, and realizing that the orgasms were typically more satisfying when she did so. It wasn’t until later, after their breakup, that she learned that this had a name (edging), and started experimenting with it during masturbation. During partnered sex since that time, Tori’s responsiveness wasn’t quite so sensitive as it had been with Jade, something she attributed to age and her practice with edging (though by herself, she could still have an orgasm in a _very_ short window of time if she wanted).

Tonight, though, grinding against her long-time ex-girlfriend, Tori felt her rapid orgasmic response building. _Already_? So Tori lifted her hips slightly, grinding against Jade more firmly with her thigh as she gave herself brief respite from sensation, before continuing to grind together as they were before, her focus on edging herself, wanting to prolong this experience as much as she could.

It took a bit of time, because of her own internal focus, to realize that what was happening was working for Jade, too.

This was kind of new. She felt Jade arching against her, heard the way her moans were starting to crescendo, and, on a whim, Tori pulled back away, lifting her hips and her head enough to stay close, but to keep out of reach of Jade’s grinding and kisses.

Jade’s eyes flew open, dark blue-green and desperate, staring at Tori as if she’d been betrayed. She craned her neck, searching for Tori’s mouth, and Tori drew back enough to make her chase her for a moment, feeling the thrill of it low in her stomach, before kissing Jade deeply and then slowly reintroducing movement between their lower bodies.

She felt Jade’s hands on her lower back, trying to hold Tori in place as they ground together. Jade was chasing her hips with her own, needy, wanton. Tori let one hand run up Jade’s side to grasp her breast, careful not to apply too much stimulation to her nipple, and then lifted her body when it was clear Jade was getting close again, even pulling away from the kisses.

Jade let out a needy little whimper, fingers digging into Tori’s back, mouth chasing her kisses, as Tori waited just long enough for everything to subside before she reintroduced movement and kisses at once, feeling Jade’s desperation in every motion between them. Tori kept her pace slow, languid, building them both back up, listening to the sounds Jade made as she kissed her throat, stroked her nipple, rolling her hips with almost excruciating slowness. She let her speed increase gradually, keeping herself in check, kissing Jade’s lips and listening to the muffled moans in her throat, feeling the changes in her body, waiting for Jade to get close again so that she could draw away a third time.

Jade arched her body, chasing contact, grabbing futilely at Tori’s ass, trying to bear her back down, whining into their kiss, until she flopped back onto the mattress in defeat. Only then did Tori lift her head, staring down at Jade, who was starting to look extremely ruffled.

“What are you _doing_ to me?!” Jade whimpered, face flushed, her eyes a swirl of frustration and need.

“Well, it’s very simple,” Tori told her, slowly lowering her hips back down to grind lazily against Jade, “You can come when _you_ want to, or you can come when I say you can.”

-

In a move Tori likely hadn’t anticipated (though probably should have), Jade came immediately at Tori’s words, everything flooding through her in a wave of heat and need and sensation, of the wild thrill of being at Tori’s mercy. As she gripped Tori’s body, eyes closed, stuttering out her moans as she shook against her, she heard a low chuckle, “Guess you made your choice,” Tori murmured. Jade felt her grinding against her more firmly, redoubling Jade’s orgasm, and before Jade had even finished coming, Tori groaned, shaking and clinging close to Jade as she came.

They recovered together, a pile of trembling, sweaty flesh--even Jade didn’t have the power to prevent sweating during really great sex, and she wasn’t even mad about it. It was something Tori had teased her about, back when they were dating. Jade had claimed she didn’t have the focus to prevent sweating and also have sex, which made Tori question if it was just a mind over matter thing. Whatever it was, it was happening.

Tori dragged her lips lazily over Jade’s chest as she recovered, sighing contently. Jade considered letting that be it, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the way Tori had just tortured her. Okay, it had been sexy as hell, but seriously, who _was_ this Tori Vega? Jade figured she had gotten better at sex over time, but Tori was something else entirely. They certainly both seemed to be having a good time, but Jade wanted to feel like she’d impressed Tori at least once during this encounter.

So Jade rolled, pinning Tori onto her back and straddling her hips, grabbing Tori’s wrists and pinning them onto the pillows over her head, the way she knew Tori definitely used to be into. She gazed down at Tori, who was biting her lip, looking intrigued and amused.

Jade lowered her breasts to Tori’s face, just for a moment, and as she expected, Tori’s expression changed to dazed and desirous when Jade pulled away. She glanced up at Jade but then her eyes immediately fell back to the breasts in front of her face. Jade leaned forward, swaying them just in front of her face, making Tori struggle to reach them, the way she’d made Jade struggle to come, just before this.

Jade was just beginning to feel really good about her plan, enjoying the slightly sadistic breast torture she was subjecting Tori to, watching Tori struggle harder to reach them. But then, Tori met her eyes, and Jade felt her arms pushing back.

“Wait, what the--” Jade sputtered, realizing that Tori was simply sitting up, the force of her body lifting Jade with her. When had she gotten so _strong_? (Okay, maybe Tori had always been kind of weirdly strong.) Jade let go of her wrists, steadying herself on Tori’s shoulders, feeling Tori’s hands run down her sides.

“You ready?” Tori asked her.

“ _For what_?” Jade asked again.

Abruptly, she felt Tori’s arms hook under her thighs, and Tori was on her back, lifting Jade and sliding beneath her in one movement, Jade borne along by the momentum, catching herself on the headboard of the bed. She looked down in shock to find Tori settling between her legs, arms wrapped around her thighs, and Jade let out a moan as Tori’s warm mouth connected with her again.

 _How_ had this even _happened_?! Jade still didn’t know, but here she was, sitting on Tori’s face, listening to Tori’s muffled, eager sounds as her tongue swirled all over Jade’s flesh. Jade stared a moment longer, and Tori opened her eyes and actually _winked_ at Jade before closing them again to focus on what she was doing.

“How the fuck--” Jade broke off into a moan. _Who the fuck was this version of Tori Vega_?!

Jade didn’t have much more time to consider it, because Tori was shifting slightly beneath her, and then Jade felt fingers slipping inside of her, and despite her grip on the headboard, she still almost toppled over, letting out a guttural moan, hips beginning to sway slightly with the sensations, feeling the arm still wrapped around her thigh tighten its grip. Jade glanced down again, to see dark eyes smoldering back at her, and Jade swore she could feel Tori grinning against her as her tongue flicked rapidly over her clit, as the fingers inside of her curled steadily.

If someone had asked Jade five minutes ago if she could come again, she would’ve said no, but she’d be eating her words, because Tori’s fingers were curling and pumping deeply within her, with less leverage available for actual thrusting, but harmonizing perfectly with the lazy swirls of her tongue punctuated with rapid flicks. Jade gripped the headboard hard and held on, hips lifting and rolling subtly with Tori’s movements. She looked down her own body at Tori again, taking in her wild hair, her eyes closed and eyebrows drawn slightly in concentration, and yeah, maybe Jade was making a mental note, giving herself an image to look back on during lonely evenings in unfamiliar sublets in different cities. Tori, beatific and gorgeous, perfectly framed by Jade’s thighs. _Fuck_ , okay, yeah, she was glad they were going for round four.

“Oh, god, I’m so close,” Jade whispered harshly, pressing herself more firmly against Tori’s fingers. Tori hummed against her, and Jade felt everything abruptly shift in intensity, fingers practically vibrating inside of her, tongue lashing her clit furiously, and Jade nearly doubled over, only her grip on the headboard saving her, and she white-knuckled the thing, feeling her legs and arms going utterly weak as everything intensified.

And then everything started tightening, all over her body, her fingers, her leg muscles, her walls around Tori’s fingers, and Jade suddenly arched back _hard_ , head falling back, throat opening in a wail, hung on the precipice for a brief, lucid moment before everything flooded over her and washed her away, mind blank, only aware of screaming, barely holding herself up, shaking and trying not to crush Tori’s head under her gyrating body.

Jade tumbled off of Tori’s face and onto her side, legs shaking so hard she could hardly unfold them, body trembling. She managed to shift onto her back as Tori was still sitting up, wiping at her face with a huge, triumphant grin, clearly collecting herself.

“If you want to come again,” Jade managed to say between shivering aftershocks, “You’d better just get on me because I can’t move.”

Tori’s grin widened, “Mmmkay,” she said, and Jade’s eyes shot wide open as Tori immediately settled lean, lithe legs on either side of her waist, hands on Jade’s shoulders.

Tori gazed down at her, searching her face for a moment. Jade was certain she looked like some sort of fish out of water, gaping at Tori’s stamina. Had they ever gone for this many orgasms in a single session before?

But then, this was breakup sex. Last chance. For everything. Jade wasn’t about to argue with it, and she certainly wasn’t complaining about it.

-

Catching Jade off guard hadn’t exactly been anything Tori planned, but she _loved_ it. And she could see that even here, straddling Jade’s torso, even at her own invitation, had surprised Jade yet again. Well, she was only giving Jade what she asked for. But Tori took a moment to really look at her, to make sure Jade was actually okay with everything that was happening, and she certainly seemed to be. She also looked especially beautiful, on her back, dark chestnut hair swirling around her on the pillows, eyes fever bright with affection and longing, bottom lip disappearing between her teeth as she watched Tori pause.

No need to delay anything; Jade was ready for her. Even lying bonelessly on her back, her eyes showed Tori she couldn’t wait to watch her come again.

Tori lowered herself onto Jade’s stomach, feeling her sharp intake of breath and Tori herself let out a shaky sigh, realizing how wet she was. Jade’s eyes had closed, her mouth parted, and she emitted a breathy exhalation as Tori started moving. Tori rolled her hips, grinding languidly onto Jade’s stomach, feeling wetness spread, back arching slowly, hands shifting to rest on Jade’s ribs. Tori let out a breathy curse, closing her eyes, and felt Jade’s hands settle on her thighs, kneading her flesh as they gradually slid up to her hips, resting there, letting Tori set her own pace.

Tori took her time, not really in the sense of edging herself but simply prolonging the experience of rubbing herself against Jade’s stomach, the comfortable pressure of Jade’s hands on her hips, eyes closed as she thought about all the ways she’d already come tonight and all the ways she’d gotten Jade off. She was also, finally, started to lose her energy, another reason she was taking her time. But she certainly had enough in her for one more orgasm.

She felt one of Jade’s hands moving after a bit, sliding along her hip bone, and then Tori felt Jade’s thumb slipping between her legs, circling over her clit. Tori looked down at her, grinning at Jade’s assistance, finding Jade watching her intently, lip quirking as Tori’s eyes met hers.

“And you said you didn’t have anything left in you,” Tori teased her, grinding with a little more purpose now.

Jade rolled her eyes, “Yeah, like this is so strenuous,” she mocked, thumb increasing its pressure a little. “Besides,” she said, voice dropping a little in pitch and volume, “I want to feel you come on me.”

Tori’s eyes fluttered shut and she felt her lips press together as she whimpered at Jade’s words. The motion of her hips was still pretty leisurely, not yet anything frantic, but accelerating a bit. “That’s what you want?” she asked.

“Fuck, yeah,” Jade murmured.

It barely qualified as dirty talk, but it was working for Tori all the same, and she increased the force of the grinding of her hips, pushing herself a little harder onto Jade’s thumb, and damn if she wasn’t already close. She lifted her hands, just slightly, curling her fingers over Jade’s breasts, just to feel them, not intending to stimulate Jade. She realized her breaths were coming harsher now, panting slightly, “I’m so fucking close,” she whimpered.

She felt Jade’s stomach tighten beneath her, saw Jade’s head lift off from her pillow in anticipation, licking her lips again, seeming to search for words for a moment, “Do it, Tori,” she started, but before she could even say anything else, Tori’s hips jolted hard, her orgasm shooting through her like lightning, igniting all her limbs, and in an instant she recognized that it was merely a precursor, and she cried out, hips still chasing Jade’s thumb, rolling helplessly, until she climbed so high there was nowhere to go but down. Tori came with another helpless buck of her hips, coming down slowly, body rolling and grinding as it chased the ebbing tide of sensation, her hands on Jade’s breasts the only thing keeping her upright, until she finally sank down onto Jade’s body, and Jade squeezed her hand out from between them.

Tori felt Jade’s arms wrap around her, just holding her, keeping her steady as the remainder of orgasmic sensation washed through her body. Her face was pressed against Jade’s neck, the warm span of skin so familiar, even though whatever scent Jade was wearing was new. Or maybe it wasn’t, maybe it had just been so long that Tori’s memory of Jade’s preferred perfume ( _Captivate_ by Dannie Dangerous) was skewed to something she _thought_ she remembered. Her body slid off Jade’s, settling on the bed, though her head stayed on Jade’s shoulder and Jade’s arms remained encircled around her. All of her senses fired with the information that Jade West’s skin was pressed against her own, that she’d watched her ex-girlfriend in the throes of, well, everything they’d just done. She’d heard her own name growled, whined, and groaned and she could still taste Jade on her tongue.

“I missed you,” Tori said, quietly, not really sure if that’s what she was supposed to disclose during breakup sex. Or, after it.

The arms around her pulled more tightly. Jade’s voice was soft, tired. “I missed you, too.”

They stayed like that, just allowing the moment to stretch on, because as soon as one of them decided to get up, to get dressed, even just to get a drink of water, it would trigger the close of it all and then it would really be over. Not that it hadn’t been already been finished for years, but this was supposed to be a final goodbye to who they’d once been to each other.

Tori was starting to understand what Patrice meant when she said breakup sex wasn’t a practical solution.

-

Jade didn’t want to move. If she could lie there with Tori tucked up against her for the rest of the night, she’d do it. She felt like they’d earned a full night together if it was their last one but she wondered if Tori would even want to stay. If she really wanted to know, she could always just ask.

“Do you want to…” _Stay the night? Sleep here?_ “Order something to eat?” While she was caught up in a wave of nostalgia, there was also still THC in her body, triggering parts of her brain, particularly the part that decided it really wanted food, right now.

Tori chuckled against her chest. “Actually, that would be amazing.”

It took another minute for Jade to decide she could even bring herself to roll toward the nightstand where the room service menu was tucked in a drawer, but she eventually did. “Do you want, like, a meal? Or appetizers? Or pizza?” She glanced to Tori, who was now resting her head on one of the white pillows, her hair spread in contrast against the stark linen. “Beck’s paying, so…”

Tori peered at the menu, squinting at the page until she slipped out of bed and padded into the bathroom to retrieve her glasses, slipping them on, climbing back into the bed with Jade. _Goddamn_ those stupid things looked so good on her.

They settled on fries, a flatbread pizza, and a brownie sundae, obviously giving away the fact that they’d gotten stoned as hell and were now in the munchie zone. Jade placed the order, reporting back to Tori that, “It’ll be about thirty minutes.”

“Good, I feel like I might need a nap,” Tori said, pulling the sheet up over herself.

Jade felt the same way, really. She’d never expended so much energy in a single sexual encounter. Probably not in three sexual encounters, combined. She tucked the sheet around herself, one arm folded under her head as she looked at Tori. “What’s the deal with the glasses?”

“They help me see?” Tori replied, knowing damn well that wasn’t what Jade meant.

“You just didn’t used to wear them out and stuff.”

“A lot of work I do has me in my contacts all day, so…” she shrugged. “And I like the look,” Tori said. “Seems other people do, too.”

“Yeah, if you’re into nerds,” Jade quipped. It was the easy jab, the one she’d made a million times in a life before this one. For a little while longer, she clung to the overlap of then and now, sharing a bed with Tori, food on the way (being ravenously hungry after sex had been a constant theme with them).

Tori was on her back, hands folded under her head. She looked over at Jade, instigating eye-contact across the top of those glasses. “You want to cuddle, don’t you?” she asked.

Jade’s instinct was to be contrary, to say no. But she did. And she knew Tori knew that she did. Closeness after sex was important to Jade, it made her feel wanted ( _loved_ was the actual word that belonged here, but that wasn’t something to safely entertain immediately following breakup sex). “It’s technically part of the sex, isn’t it?”

She didn’t even think she actually _believed_ that but Tori stretched out her arm, inviting Jade to snuggle up against her. Even though they’d just spent--god, Jade didn’t even know how long they’d been up in the room--however long having sex, being this close to Tori, right now, was the closest she’d been to her in years. It was the warmth of her skin and the way she moved to adjust her hair so it wasn’t in Jade’s face. It was the slow rise and fall of her chest as they just lay there, breathing, waiting for the food, waiting for the inevitable, eventually. Things were comfortable enough that Jade must have drifted off to sleep because then, suddenly, someone was knocking at the door.

“Guess you need to get that,” Tori said.

“Why me?” Jade grumbled, shaking the sleep away.

“Well, you ordered it. And it’s your room. And you’ll have to sign for it--”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Jade said, rolling out of bed. There was a hotel robe in the closet, which was the easiest thing to throw on that would cover her breasts enough to be presentable to the bellhop.

She opened the door and the food was wheeled in, then placed on the large desk. Tori, for whatever reason, was up off the bed, wrapped in the sheet like she was on her way to a toga party. Her wild, just-been-fucked hair was a contrast against the put-together look of her glasses. God, this young woman dropping off the food could obviously tell they’d just been having sex. It was obvious. At least she didn’t comment on it. And maybe because she (Cristal, according to her nametag) was such a true professional, or maybe because Tori didn’t want to stiff Beck with the bill and a large tip, but she dug into her purse and pulled out some cash, which she handed to the bellhop.

Cristal nodded her thanks, then looked at Tori for a long moment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...uh, just...I don’t know you, do I?” She seemed a little too young to have gone to school with them, but maybe she knew Tori from her show or something.

“You might’ve seen me on something,” Tori suggested, adjusting her toga-sheet.

Cristal shook her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have even asked. It’s against policy.”

“Well,” Tori smiled at her. “I won’t tell, if you won’t.”

The bellhop nodded, then paused again, began to turn red and cleared her throat. “Uh, did you need anything else?”

“Nope,” Jade said, impatient now that she was still lingering.

“Have a good night, ma’am,” she mumbled as she left.

Jade carried the tray of food from the desk to the bed. “Wow, what happened to her?”

“She probably realized where she recognized me from,” Tori replied just before stuffing her mouth with french fries.

“Your show?” asked Jade.

“Could be.”

“Or...do you think it was your _sex videos_ ,” Jade teased.

“Sex _education_ videos,” corrected Tori.

That reminded Jade that she wanted to actually watch one of these educational videos, but when she picked up her phone, she saw the list of missed calls and texts from their friends. “Uh, wow.”

“Yeah, I guess we were missed,” Tori said, looking at her own PearPhone and scrolling through her missed messages.

Jade tapped each text, most of which were _**Where are you?**_ or _**Are you with Tori?**_ or _**Someone said you were running naked through the hotel??!**_ That last one was Beck and Jade at least replied to it just so he didn’t decide to come check on her for some reason.

**  
Wasn’t naked, just took a dip in the jacuzzi**

  
It was almost midnight and Jade assumed the reunion had probably wound down by now. But then a reply came back almost immediately.

**  
You missed receiving your award**

**I accepted for you**

**I have Tori’s too**

  
Wait, there were awards? “Uh, did you know anything about winning stuff tonight?” Jade asked.

Tori shook her head. “No, but Andre seems pissed that I wasn’t there to get mine.”

“Yeah, Beck has it,” Jade said, absently reaching for a slice of the flatbread pizza as she tapped out a response with her other hand.

**  
I guess I can get it from you tomorrow?**

**  
You’re not coming back at all?**

**  
It’s kinda late, right?**

**Isn’t the reunion winding down?**

**  
I guess**

**The ballroom closes at midnight**

  
The time on Jade’s phone read 11:36.

**  
But the hotel bar’s open till 2**

  
Jade definitely didn’t want to leave the room, but she didn’t want to assume the same for Tori. “Um, they might be hanging at the hotel bar for a while.”

Tori considered the vague offer to change locations, but she shrugged, “I’m kind of tired after...all of that.”

“Yeah,” Jade sighed in relief, both at continuing their evening alone (that would eventually have to end, she knew) and at the fact that she wouldn’t have to get dressed and go downstairs. She felt sort-of bad about blowing off her friends, but she’d seen all of them over the course of the last few years when she hadn’t seen Tori at all in five.

**  
Kinda beat, tbh**

**Still on east coast time**

  
She knew better than to lie to Beck, but she really didn’t care.

**  
Yeah okay**

**Tell Tori we miss her**

  
Jade could have challenged it, but she didn’t. Instead, she set her phone down so she could claim her fair share of the brownie sundae before Tori ate all of it.

-

Tori had been busy fielding her own text messages, most of them from Andre who was irritated that she hadn’t been there to accept the award he’d been tapped to present to her.

**  
Dude so not cool**

**You weren’t even in that room for five minutes**

**  
It was intense**

**I needed a break**

**Especially after that dinner with everyone**

**  
A break with Jade?**

**We heard about you running through the hotel**

  
They weren’t ever _running_. Just walking with purpose. While eating oranges.

**  
I’m sorry! 😞**

**Jade and I needed to talk**

**  
Yeah right**

**We all know what kind of talking you two do**

**  
It’s not like that!**

  
But...it was exactly _like that_. And now Jade was back on the bed, picking at their spread of room service food. Tori closed out her conversation with Andre, promising to catch up with him the next weekend, then placed her phone on the nightstand.

Jade had already turned on the TV to some reality show Tori hadn’t seen before, the volume low but audible, a habit she knew was related to drowning out the sounds of eating. It was something they’d had to sort out while they were dating due to Jade’s misophonia, because no matter how quietly Tori tried to eat something, Jade could hear it, become annoyed by it, and end up in a sour mood. So, distraction was usually the solution.

The TV trick seemed to be working or maybe Jade was still flooded with endorphins from all the sex, but there wasn’t a single instance of side-eye, grumbling, or annoyed sighing as they devoured the food in front of them. Once it was all gone, Jade moved the tray to the desk, then dropped back down on the bed. Tori reclined against the pillows, loosely trying to follow what was happening on the show that was playing. She wasn’t invested but that particular style of faux-drama was always momentarily captivating.

Jade seemed to be caught up in it, as well, at least to the point that she asked, “When does your mom’s show air?”

“Uh, September, I think?” Tori replied. “I wish I had a toothbrush,” she said, absently.

“So call the front desk.”

“They’ll send a toothbrush?” Tori had definitely traveled plenty for work, especially when she’d still been booking Lifemark movies, but she’d always been careful to pack what she needed or would just run out to the drug store if she needed something. Other than ordering food, it had never occurred to her to ask for something as simple as a toothbrush.

“Yeah, and it’ll probably be delivered by your biggest fan,” Jade teased.

Tori picked up the hotel phone and hit the button for the front desk. When the desk clerk answered, she said, “Hi, I’m in 419 and I need...a toothbrush?” Jade was laughing at her, for whatever reason. When she hung up, she said, “What?”

“I need... _a toothbrush_?” Jade replied, imitating Tori perfectly. After they’d dated a while, Jade had finally phased out the Sweet Sally Peaches voice (though she did bring it out of retirement on occasion) and had taken on the challenge of imitating Tori at the most random times, usually when she was doing something Jade thought was “unchill.”

“Oh, shut up,” Tori said, swinging a pillow at her and landing a blow against her shoulder.

“This is fun. When I grovel to Beck tomorrow about missing the entire reunion, he’ll love the part about a pillow fight.”

“Please, as if you’d grovel to Beck.” Tori tugged the pillow back, fluffed it, and placed it back behind her. She was still wearing the sheet wrapped around herself and she needed to figure out what she was planning to do if she ended up sleeping here in Jade’s hotel room. Which was what she wanted to do. If Jade wanted her to. You know, just to round out the breakup sex.

There was another knock at the door. “It’s for you,” said Jade.

Tori gathered up her sheet, side-eying Jade as she grabbed more bills out of her wallet and walked to answer the door. It was Cristal, again. “Hi,” Tori said, slightly embarrassed about the fact that she’d had to even call and have a human person carry a toothbrush up to her. It seemed frivolous and that wasn’t something she was used to.

“Here you go, ma’am,” Cristal said, handing over a small toiletry packet. “I brought toothpaste and mouthwash also, just in case.”

“Thank you,” Tori replied, accepting the plastic wrapped items and handing over the cash before shutting the door. She slipped into the bathroom to put the toothbrush to use and Jade joined her after a moment.

This was...weird. It felt so natural to be together like this, even after so much time having passed between them. But then it also felt like they were playing at something they both knew wasn’t moving beyond tonight. Even if they were able to manage friendship (something Tori desperately wanted to attempt), it wouldn’t be like this, with the casual domesticity in the wake of giving each other multiple orgasms.

Jade poked at the extra goodies that had come up with the toothbrush, raising an eyebrow, silently suggesting that Cristal the Bellhop was, perhaps, giving Tori special treatment. Tori rolled her eyes and finished brushing, then rinsed, leaving Jade to finish on her own. She unwrapped the sheet from her body and spread it back out over the bed, climbing underneath it and settling against the pillows.

When Jade exited the bathroom, she paused to assess Tori’s shift in attire, clearly nude under the sheet. “I guess this means you’re definitely sleeping over?” she asked, slowly tugging at the belt on her robe and letting it slide off her shoulders.

“If that’s okay with you.” Tori was exhausted, which was why she hoped Jade wasn’t about to kick her out. Which, given that her ex-girlfriend was also now, once again, naked and sliding back into bed with her, didn’t seem likely.

“I guess it’s still technically part of the breakup sex?” Jade mused, adjusting her pillows under her head.

Tori removed her glasses and placed them next to her phone. “I think the rules dictate that, as long as we’re still in this hotel room, it counts,” she decided, letting her head sink into the pillow as she rested on her side, facing Jade. Now that the robe was off and they weren’t climbing all over each other, Tori could get a better look at Jade’s left arm, the one with the scissor tattoo she’d gotten on Tori’s 18th birthday. It had expanded into partial sleeve territory with more scissors of various sizes placed around the first. It was an involuntary instinct to reach for it, to touch the ink on skin. Jade didn’t seem to mind, her eyes on Tori’s fingers as she traced the patterns. “This looks really good.”

“So does yours,” Jade said, indicating the expanded artwork on Tori’s forearm. She’d had the compass tattoo redone, it was bigger, more detailed, more traditional than the simple line drawing she’d gotten upon her move to Canada. But that wasn’t something she really wanted to talk about, right now. She was tired (so was Jade, she could tell) and there were only so many hours until morning.

“Turn over,” Tori urged, nudging Jade until she rolled and rested on her side, allowing Tori to wrap around her from behind. She pressed her face against the back of Jade’s neck, in the space between her shoulders, her arm tightly curled around the warm body in front of her. Jade had to wriggle free just enough to hit the switch on the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness, then allowed Tori to take hold, once again.

It felt good, though possibly irresponsible, to be this comfortable, this cozy.

Tori didn’t care.

-

Morning came and Jade refused to accept it. There was sunlight hitting her face, something that seemed impossible, given that she always closed the curtains, wherever she was. She rolled away from the offensive light, her arm stretched across the expanse of the bed. Which...was empty? That was enough to force her eyes open. Tori definitely wasn’t there.

Well. The breakup sex (and all attached benefits of the evening) had to end sometime, right? Jade stared at the wall across from her, allowing her eyes to adjust to the brightness of the room. Why the fuck was there so much daylight in here? Why did she smell coffee? And was there water running in the bathroom? Without caffeine in her veins, all of it was a jumble of information. She pushed herself upright, hand rubbing at her face. Through her fingers, she watched Tori emerge from the bathroom, now dressed in her pink suit, Jade’s hairbrush tugging through her hair before she pulled it up into a tight ponytail.

“Oh,” was all Jade could muster.

Tori tossed the brush on the desk so she could dig for something in her purse, a small bottle of perfume that she applied to her pulse points. She then passed by the in-room coffee machine to retrieve the cup that sat under the brewer, bringing it to where Jade sat, still slightly-disoriented and bleary-eyed. “I assumed two sugars,” she said, handing over the cup of steaming coffee.

Was this reality? Tori handing her coffee the morning after mind-blowing sex? Jade sipped the drink, not caring that it had just been served from a boiling hot dispenser. She somehow grunted, “Thanks.”

Clarity from the coffee settled in as Tori pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “Last night was fun. I’m glad we did it.”

She was so close that Jade breathed in the newly applied perfume, a scent she didn’t recognize but would probably never forget. “Yeah. I am, too.”

“You have my number.” It wasn’t a question. Tori knew Jade did because they’d been in the same group text for years with the rest of their friends. Some of them had used it just last night while they were missing-in-action from the reunion. “Text me, we can get coffee sometime.”

And there it was. The offer of maybe rebuilding something like a friendship. Jade didn’t know if she knew how to be “just friends” with Tori Vega. She didn’t even know how long she planned to stick around in LA. But coffee couldn’t hurt.

Tori rose from the bed and collected her things, slipping her pumps on as she scrolled through her phone. She wondered where Tori was off to. Did she work on the weekends? Jade had no idea what Moustache Media did beyond the Pleasure Professor videos, if it even extended beyond that.

She watched Tori stuff her underwear and bra into her purse, forcing Jade to realize that meant _she wasn’t wearing them_.

Jade sucked down a gulp of coffee, trying to make sure she was actually awake. Tori flashed her one of those stupid, vibrant, ten-thousand watt grins and flexed her fingers in a dorky little wave before walking out the door. With that, their night, their breakup sex was officially over and Jade wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Never Really Over_ by Katy Perry.
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> SplashFace brought her to a video titled _The Pleasure Professor Presents: BDSM Gear and Why Quality Matters_. Jade let the video start to play, letting herself drift with Tori’s voice, until something happened that made her sit up straight.
> 
> “If I could share a personal anecdote,” Tori’s voice had dropped a bit of its authoritative air into something a little more intimate, and Jade was already leaning closer, as if she were actually about to be privy to one of Tori’s secrets. “My first foray into BDSM toys was with a previous long-term partner.” Holy shit, was this about her? “And, broke as most young adults are, we bought a cheap set of handcuffs to experiment with.” 
> 
> Here Tori held up a fuzzy pink set, and Jade stared, feeling even more high all of a sudden. Was this really happening?
> 
> Tori continued speaking. “They weren’t well-made, they got too tight on my wrists, despite our caution, and we had to get me out quickly. Neither of us realized there was a little lever that even I would’ve been able to reach with my other hand to unlock them.” Here Tori demonstrated, pushing a little protrusion within the fuzzy fabric to open the cuffs instantly. Jade winced, feeling just as naive and stupid as she would’ve felt at nineteen. “So we had to scramble for the key, but it must’ve gotten stuck or something, because my partner literally broke the cuffs in half to free me.” Tori smiled, “And that is part of why cheap gear can be dangerous--it can malfunction, and it can break, and if it breaks in the middle of a scene, someone can get injured.”
> 
> Jade had to pause the video to stare. Tori had disclosed a failed sexual experience of theirs as a cautionary tale. Jade thought she should be more upset about it, but in retrospect, their naivety was kind of funny. Besides, it was hard to be offended when she was high and Tori’s soft voice kept describing a situation that was pretty much straight out of a sex comedy, and when she was wearing those stupid glasses…


	5. Two: We were built to fall apart, Then fall back together (back together)

Once the coffee cup was empty, Jade abandoned it on the nightstand. She pressed her head back into the pillow, trying to decide if more sleep was possible. But it was too damn bright and now her phone was buzzing with a text.

Beck.

**If you’re not too hungover, join me for brunch?**

Of course Beck would ask her to _brunch_. She checked the time. Just after nine.

**I need to shower and stuff**

**945?**

**K**

**Is Tori coming, too?**

Well, _she was last night_. Jade laughed to herself, still trying to process all that had happened between them.

**She left already**

**Kinda bummed**

**But I also really want to hear about what happened**

**Wow what a gossip slut you are**

**Be nice, I’m buying**

She supposed he had a point and dug around for her phone charger, plugging it in before shuffling to the bathroom to take a shower. The water was cranked on and warming before Jade even turned to face herself in the mirror. She looked... _fucked_. But, like, in the good way. Her hair was a mess, her body felt tired, but there was a certain flush to her skin (which wasn’t even possible to be from the sex as that had been hours ago...maybe it was just because she was thinking about it), and there were at least half a dozen marks from her neck to her stomach. _Hickeys_. Courtesy of Tori Vega.

Jade stepped under the steamy spray, reveling at the heat on her skin. As she dragged the washcloth across her body, there was a memory of Tori attached to whatever part she washed. Kisses on her neck, the light scrape of teeth against her inner thigh, the warmth of Tori pressed against her stomach. If Jade didn’t focus and hurry up, this would become a much longer shower.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she collected her discarded clothing from the night before and tossed it into her suitcase before pulling what she planned to wear out of the hotel dresser (yes, she used the drawers because the act of neatly unpacking into them soothed her travel anxiety). She noticed there was something sitting on the desk. It was the plastic tube with the remaining half of the joint inside. Underneath it was a note on the hotel stationery.

**Enjoy it.**

**\- T :)**

Downstairs, Beck was already waiting at a table, sipping a cup of coffee. In front of Jade’s empty, waiting chair was a steaming cup all her own.

“It’s like you know me,” Jade teased, lowering herself into the seat and immediately bringing the cup to her lips.

Beck seemed like he was about to say something, but he was interrupted before he even spoke by the server, whose name tag read ‘Steven.’ “Well, good morning to this gorgeous table for two,” he said. “Are we in Burbank for business? Pleasure? An anniversary?”

“Definitely not that.” Jade laughed.

Beck shook his head. “We haven’t been any kind of...not for a long time.”

“In that case,” Steven placed a stack of napkins on the table. “I’m just going to leave these here and if I happen to find your phone number on one of them later, I won’t tell anyone.” He was obviously talking to Beck, because he hadn’t taken his eyes off of him.

“Oh, that’s so nice,” Jade encouraged.

Steven laughed and shifted his attention to the both of them. “Were you two planning on the brunch buffet?”

They were, so Steven left them to serve themselves at the buffet. Jade moved straight for the breakfast bar, loading up with french toast, bacon, eggs, a banana. She eyed Beck’s plate, which was devoid of anything too greasy and he seemed a little green at the sight of her plate.

“Are you hungover?” she asked, already chewing on a piece of bacon as they walked back to their table.

“Aren’t you?” he inquired, evaluating her.

“Nope. I only had the one drink at the bar.” She let him sit with that while she took a bite. “I did, however, get very stoned.”

“With Tori,” Beck confirmed.

“With Tori.” Jade continued eating, knowing the suspense was killing Beck. “What?” she asked, just to prod at him a bit more.

“You _know_ what. You two vanished for the entirety of our high school reunion.”

“Not _all_ of it. I was there for a little while.”

“Like ten minutes.” By now he’d abandoned his toast and was just staring at her.

“Fine, okay. We ended up out by the pool, she had a huge joint her mom gave her, and we smoked it.”

“And then?” If it were literally anyone else, Jade would have just told them to deal with not knowing, but this was Beck and she (and Tori) had both abandoned their friends the night before, so maybe she felt like giving him what he wanted. Some of it, anyway.

“We went in the jacuzzi. Then we went up to my room. Where we...spent the night.”

Beck nodded, then his hand slapped the table (the impact jarred him, slightly, in his hungover state), “I _knew_ it! Andre owes me a hundred bucks.”

“I'm sorry?”

“When you two disappeared, everyone started making bets on what would happen. Some people thought you were fighting. Some of us thought you were...not fighting.”

“Let me guess, did Sam make the first wager?”

“Actually, yeah. She did.”

They finished eating with Beck filling Jade in on what she’d missed (which, to be honest, other than not physically being around her friends, the rest sounded, not boring but like her night with Tori had been far more fun), letting her know she and Tori had won awards for Best Debut Film and Best Community Contribution, respectively. “Should I leave hers with you? I’m flying out tonight and when I texted her earlier, she said she was working today.”

Oh, so Beck had been texting with Tori this morning? “Uh, I guess? I don’t know how long I’m in town.”

“I guess I could make some time to drop it off with her parents.”

Jade shook her head. “If that’s the case, I can do it. I planned to stop off to see David and Holly, anyway.” She tapped her fingers against her coffee cup. “When you talked to Tori did she…” Wait, what was Jade even asking? “Nevermind.”

Beck smirked at her. “Did she mention you?”

“I said nevermind.”

“She said she was glad you two had some time to reconnect.”

They’d reconnected, alright. Maybe Jade was blushing. Maybe it was just warm in this part of the dining room. “Yeah, me too.”

The conversation shifted away from Tori (though Jade’s mind kept wandering back to various moments of their night together) and Beck told her about his latest film project, an indie thriller that actually caught Jade’s attention the more he described the plot. It was nice to catch up, like the regular kind where two people just talk, and she was kind of bummed when they finally had to leave the table so Beck could handle a few things while he was still in town. As he took care of the check, Jade casually wrote Beck’s cell number down on a napkin and left it, face-down on the table.

She followed him up to his room to collect the reunion awards, letting herself be enveloped in a long bear-hug. He still smelled like sandalwood with maybe a hint of vanilla.

On the way down the hall toward her own room, she wondered if she and Tori were working toward the kind of friendship where they could have a casual, friendly meal together. But then what she’d had with Beck and what she’d had with Tori were very different relationships.

Jade didn’t really know what that meant for them.

-

Tori was grateful that Patrice had time to meet with her that afternoon, when Tori had finished with her work for the day. They met at a favorite coffee shop, Tori actually arriving first and buying Patrice’s Americano for her so that all she had to do was join her in the booth.

By the time Patrice arrived and slid into the seat across from Tori, Tori was starting to wonder if coffee was even the right decision, because she felt like she was about to freak out. She hadn’t had any weed yet today because she’d come straight from work, and that was usually her best tool at keeping herself calm. Evidently, her mood showed on her face, because Patrice said, “Okay, before you talk to me, take a deep breath.”

Tori allowed herself to be walked through two cycles of deep inhales and long exhales, but just as Patrice was about to initiate a third, Tori couldn’t take it anymore, “I just had the most irresponsible sex of _my life_!” she burst out.

Patrice paused, then dropped the hand she had been using to count the breaths. “Wow,” she commented, “Okay, then. Talk to me. What happened?”

“Well, Jade and I” (Tori noticed something unreadable flicker over Patrice’s expression, but then her head tilted in interest) “reconnected at the reunion and I suggested we finally have the breakup sex we never got to have.” Tori paused, trying to decide how to reveal just how badly she’d screwed up.

Patrice sighed, “I told you breakup sex was a bad idea. It just complicates things.”

“It’s been like almost a _decade_ , so that part wasn’t what I was worried about,” Tori replied, though a part of her wondered if maybe they should’ve been clearer about what all this meant, in the aftermath of truly amazing sex with an ex. It was one thing to agree to no strings attached breakup sex before getting naked, but sometimes everything felt different after an orgasm. Or four.

“Okay,” Patrice drawled, “So what made it irresponsible, if not the simple fact that it was Jade?”

“ _Everything_ ,” Tori burst out, “We got _really_ high, I didn’t ask her about her STI status, I came _all over her_ , like, her _entire body_ , and I went down on her _twice_ , we didn’t talk about desires or boundaries or limits, I left hickeys _all_ over her, not that it’s hard to do because her skin is so sensitive, but we didn’t talk at all about whether it was okay to leave marks, and I don’t even know if she’s seeing anyone else right now, and then I was just topping her _all over the place_ , and all without even a conversation!” Tori took a deep breath.

“To be fair, topping is just kind of what you do,” Patrice smirked.

Tori groaned, “Yes, of course, but...I broke _every rule_. And I should _know_ better. I’m a professional, goddamnit!” Her shoulders slumped. “I Addison’d her,” she said mournfully.

Patrice frowned, “Okay, granted I wasn’t there, but I highly doubt you were _that_ bad. You kind of lack the key Addison characteristic of boundary-pushing, just in general.”

“But we didn’t _talk_ about anything!”

“Did you ask her to do anything in the moment that you’d never discussed with her previously, when you were dating?”

“No, but...that doesn’t mean we didn’t have to talk. It’s been _years_.”

“I fully agree, but that also means you likely didn’t _Addison_ her.” Patrice ran her finger around the rim of her Americano cup, then asked lightly, “Well, other than all of that, how was the sex?”

Tori put her face in her hands, “Fucking incredible,” she mumbled into her palms.

“Would Jade agree?” Patrice asked.

“I think so,” Tori muttered, lowering her hands a little. No, fuck that. “She definitely agrees,” Tori decided.

“Well, then, it could be a lot worse.” Tori stared at Patrice incredulously, but Patrice just smiled enigmatically and said, “Listen, you’re not wrong, you made some mistakes. And under other circumstances, maybe the sex wouldn’t have turned out so well. But this was a previous sex partner, so you at least had some familiarity going into the encounter. And hey, even those of us who know better get caught up in the moment sometimes when some really great sex is in the cards. Everything in moderation, Tori. Including moderation.”

Tori stared, “You can’t possibly approve of this.”

Patrice shrugged, “I don’t think it really matters what I think. Do you regret it?”

“No,” Tori replied immediately. “God, no,” she repeated.

“Then assuming Jade is in a similar frame of mind, it all worked out. Do you feel like you got some closure on your relationship?”

“I guess,” Tori said uncertainly, “I told her to text me. She hasn’t yet, but...I mean, I get it. It’s going to be weird to try to be friends again.” She paused, thinking, and noticed Patrice watching her with a smirk. “What?”

“Nothing,” Patrice said, “I’m just saying. It didn’t seem to uncomplicate anything.”

“We’d be complicated right now even if we hadn’t had sex,” Tori replied, “Especially with the way Jade was eyefucking me over dinner.” She sighed, “I guess I’d better go get tested.”

“You’ll probably feel better once you do,” Patrice agreed, “And you’ll probably also feel better once you go home and smoke some weed. You need to chill out a little.”

“Gee, thanks, Patrice,” Tori rolled her eyes, but really, she planned to do exactly that.

-

Though there was a lot Jade wanted to do now that she was back in LA for an undetermined amount of time, that afternoon, she just didn’t want to leave her hotel room. Maybe it was the simple fact that it was comfortable, and she wanted to make the most of her accommodations for the remaining time she had left in it. Or maybe because Jade just wanted to linger in the space where she and Tori had...well, fucked all night. Dwelling on the memory of what they had done together. It wasn’t far from her mind, anyway. And _damn_ had it been great sex.

Jade stayed in her room, pretending to be productive for a while--texting friends and family to see when they might be available to meet up, browsing job listings, sublets, air bnbs, trying to decide where she was going after her stay at the hotel. She didn’t text Tori yet, though. She was still existing in her breakup sex bubble, and she wasn’t quite ready to let go of it and move on to the part where they tried to be friends. But Tori hadn’t texted her, either. Maybe it was a good idea to just take the day for them both to cool off.

In the evening, after dinner, Jade took the meandering walk to the pool again, taking the joint Tori had left with her. She smoked a little of it, though it was huge, so there was still a lot left even after she was pleasantly baked. And with that, she returned to her hotel room, lounged on her bed, and pulled out her PearBook.

She searched _the pleasure professor_ again, and this time, she clicked on one of the SplashFace videos that popped up.

There was an image of Tori smiling, wearing those stupid nerdy glasses and a lab coat. The text over her image read _The Pleasure Professor Presents_. The words faded, only to be replaced by _The Clitoris and Your Orgasms_. Then Tori started speaking in a soothing but measured voice.

“Hello and welcome. I’m The Pleasure Professor, and I’m here to help you access your pleasure and enhance your sex life through education and exploration.”

Jade was already grinning, because in spite of her scholarly tone and warm expression, all of this was just so _Tori_ somehow. She watched some of that video, which included an anatomy lesson and masturbatory techniques to try, but she skipped around on it, because she had a pretty good handle on clitorises and orgasms, thank you very much.

She remembered Tori mentioning last night that The Pleasure Professor was bilingual, and she navigated onto the page and, yep, there was a whole Spanish language section. Jade clicked on it curiously.

And there was Tori, still speaking calmly and confidently, but Jade could only understand some of the words. The rest of it was melodic, rhythmic nonsense to her. She smirked, letting herself get drawn into the soothing sounds of a language she barely knew. Damn, Tori had apparently gotten a lot better at Spanish than she was when they were dating. And it was kind of really _sexy_.

But eventually, she got tired of trying to keep up with her own minimal ability to translate, and she went back to the English part of the channel. She let SplashFace play the videos for her, following their recommendations for what to watch next, existing in a pleasantly stoned loop as she skipped around through videos and listened to Tori’s voice explain all sorts of sexy, sciency stuff, watching Tori in those stupid glasses give lectures. It seemed like pretty solid stuff, though focusing on the specifics was a bit difficult in Jade’s current headspace.

SplashFace brought her to a video titled _The Pleasure Professor Presents: BDSM Gear and Why Quality Matters_. Jade let the video start to play, letting herself drift with Tori’s voice, until something happened that made her sit up straight.

“If I could share a personal anecdote,” Tori’s voice had dropped a bit of its authoritative air into something a little more intimate, and Jade was already leaning closer, as if she were actually about to be privy to one of Tori’s secrets. “My first foray into BDSM toys was with a previous long-term partner.” Holy shit, was this about her? “And, broke as most young adults are, we bought a cheap set of handcuffs to experiment with.”

Here Tori held up a fuzzy pink set, and Jade stared, feeling even more high all of a sudden. Was this really happening?

Tori continued speaking. “They weren’t well-made, they got too tight on my wrists, despite our caution, and we had to get me out quickly. Neither of us realized there was a little lever that even I would’ve been able to reach with my other hand to unlock them.” Here Tori demonstrated, pushing a little protrusion within the fuzzy fabric to open the cuffs instantly. Jade winced, feeling just as naive and stupid as she would’ve felt at nineteen. “So we had to scramble for the key, but it must’ve gotten stuck or something, because my partner literally broke the cuffs in half to free me.” Tori smiled, “And that is part of why cheap gear can be dangerous--it can malfunction, and it can break, and if it breaks in the middle of a scene, someone can get injured.”

Jade had to pause the video to stare. Tori had disclosed a failed sexual experience of theirs as a cautionary tale. Jade thought she should be more upset about it, but in retrospect, their naivety was kind of funny. Besides, it was hard to be offended when she was high and Tori’s soft voice kept describing a situation that was pretty much straight out of a sex comedy, and when she was wearing those stupid glasses…

Wait. Jade just remembered that Tori had told her that she often wore contacts to work, but in every one of these videos, Tori was wearing her nerdy glasses. So _when_ was she wearing contacts when she worked? Was she editing the videos? Was Tori a huge computer nerd? But if so, _how_ on earth was she so fucking _fit_? Not that it was impossible to do computer work and also hit the gym, but it just didn’t seem to track, somehow.

Nothing about Tori made any damn sense right now. Jade clicked to the next video.

This one was called _The Pleasure Professor Presents: Finding the Strap-On That’s Right for You_.

Oh, god.

Jade made an appearance in this video, too, as the “previous partner” with whom Tori had bought her first strap-on. Tori then enumerated the problems with the cheap strap-on set they’d purchased (even holding up a similar one to show its faults).

But then, Tori was holding up what looked like a pair of briefs with a ring on the front. “These are my personal favorite style of harness,” Tori disclosed to the audience, “In my personal experience, they’re comfortable, they offer great support, and they’re compatible with a wide range of dildos.”

At that, Jade had to turn it off. Because now she was starting to think about Tori’s _personal experience_ with fucking someone with a strap-on. And, okay, obviously they’d both had a lot of sex since they’d broken up, and Jade herself had certainly experienced strap-on sex without Tori, but for some reason, this particular detail wasn’t one Jade was ready to hear yet. Maybe because she couldn’t stand the thought of regretting anything about last night, and if she kept thinking about it, she would absolutely regret that it was the last time, since they’d never...

She guessed that was enough of The Pleasure Professor for the evening.

-

Tori had been waiting for Jade to text her basically since she’d left her hotel room, but when the text finally came through on Sunday morning, a full day later, Tori wasn’t ready. Because she was in the waiting room of the Quick Results STI Clinic, and they had just called her name.

**Hey, I got your award from Beck**

**Want to meet up for coffee or something today?**

Shit. The last thing Tori wanted was to leave Jade on read, but the lab assistant who’d called her name was staring at her, because Tori was just standing there looking at her phone.

**Yes. I’ll text you later**

Tori dashed off the text as quickly as she could, flashing an apologetic smile to the lab assistant as she slipped her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and followed her back into the medical lab. It wasn’t her normal clinic; Tori got tested routinely in her life, but this clinic had the technology to give her results quickly, which Tori needed right now.

But after her trip to the STI clinic, she had to drive to meet her family at her parents’ house, because they were heading to see Grandma Jean at Elderly Acres, and the timeframe on that was rather flexible, so she wasn’t yet sure when she might be able to meet Jade.

Tori saw Grandma pretty regularly, even without her parents, but since Trina was in town, they’d made a family trip of it. Trina asked about the will, as she usually did, but at this point, even Grandma couldn’t be annoyed about it anymore. They went out to eat at _Lettuce Eat Lunch_ , and Tori was settling into a day with her family, finally not thinking about when she would text Jade back, when Grandma spoke.

“So, I heard Jade is back in town,” she said.

Trina chuckled darkly, “Oh, trust me, we know.” She shot a look at Tori, who willed herself not to blush. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d blushed over something like this; she talked about sex so openly for work that little fazed her anymore.

Except, apparently, that her entire family had heard from Jade.

“Yes, she told us she was in town for a while,” Holly said, “We’re hoping to see her later this week.”

Okay, well, this was news to Tori. Apparently, Jade was busy texting her relatives while not texting her.

To be fair, they had already...caught up. Sort of.

She groaned internally. This wasn’t supposed to be complicated. They were working on becoming friends. And the fact that her family still kept in touch with Jade wasn’t even really news.

Tori guessed she was still getting used to the idea of being in the same city with Jade again. She wondered how long she’d be in town.

She guessed that was something to ask her when they got together.

As lunch wrapped up and they took Grandma back to Elderly Acres, Tori slipped away to call about the results of her STI test, which were supposed to be processed by now. Generally, no news was good news, but Tori wanted to be sure. And, as she suspected and hoped, she was STI free.

On the ride back to Hollywood, Tori finally sent a text to Jade.

-

Jade’s day wasn’t put on hold waiting for Tori to text her back. It was a little weird, that all she’d gotten was that short reply, when Tori had expressly suggested she text her. Maybe it was a bad time. But then that had Jade wondering _why_ it might be a bad time, and that made her realize she knew so little about what Tori’s life was like right now.

She refused to dwell on it, and luckily, she had a distraction. She’d already made plans to go hang out with Sam and Cat in the afternoon. Beck had extended his rental car so that she could use it for a couple more days while she figured out what was next for her, which she appreciated. He really was a good friend.

Early that afternoon she drove out to Venice to visit her friends. Cat was cooking lunch, some of what Sam called her “famous meatballs,” so Jade knew she was in for a treat. But meanwhile, Jade had an idea for how they could work up an appetite. Not that Sam needed any help with that.

“Babe, we’ll be back,” Sam said, offering Cat a kiss goodbye, “We’re gonna go to the beach for a few.”

“Kay kay,” Cat replied, “Come back in time for meatballs!”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sam winked.

It was a familiar feeling, settling on the back of Sam’s motorcycle, even though it had been years since they’d rode anywhere together. The smell of the inside of the helmet (like Cat’s shampoo), the feeling of air whipping over her leather jacket, of Sam’s waist under her hands, it was all enough to trigger a sense memory, of being in her twenties, and trying to figure out just what the fuck was next in her life when it didn’t have Tori in it.

But now, they’d reconnected, and...well, Jade was still waiting for a return text, but the brief exchange they’d had was _something_ , she guessed.

Sam navigated them to the beach and they went to the spot where they always used to hang out back in the day, on the picnic table next to the Muscle Beach gym. Sam rubbed her hands together, “So, you said you have something good.”

“Oh, I do,” Jade said, reaching into her jacket pocket to extract the plastic tube Tori had left behind, showing Sam what was left of the joint. “It’s from Holly, so you know it’s the best,” she explained.

“Damn,” Sam took it and examined it, “Nice,” she nodded approvingly. “I’ve got to drive us back, so I’ll take it easy, but you go nuts.”

Jade took it back and sparked it, taking a drag and then passing it to Sam. She let her gaze settle over at the outdoor gym, and nodded, “Check out that lumpy dude,” she pointed.

Sam laughed out smoke, “Lumpy as fuck,” she agreed, passing the joint back to Jade.

They were quiet for a moment, passing the joint and appreciating the moment, the breezy beach air, the good weed, the companionate silence that came from years of friendship.

“How long are you in LA for?” Sam asked eventually.

Jade shrugged, “I’m still not sure. I have the hotel for one more night, and then I’ll probably stay at my mom’s for a little while, until I figure out what’s next.”

Sam nodded, “Cool. Well, we’re both glad you’re back, for however long.”

Sam was finished smoking, and Jade was pleasantly high. And there was still some of the joint left. Damn. She knocked out the cherry and saved the rest of it. It was probably enough for one more smoke.

But finally, Sam asked about what Jade knew they were both thinking about. “So, I’m dying to know what happened the night of the reunion, and you were very short on the details in text.”

Jade half-sighed, half-chuckled, because she knew this was coming. But still, “Am I going to get the same question from Cat over lunch? Because if so I’ll just wait.”

“Nah, I’ll just tell her everything later. The only bet she took part in was whether you’d be fighting or fucking, and I think we all know you weren’t fighting.”

“Wait, the _only_ bet? There were more?”

“Sure, that’s why I need details, now spill.”

Jade described her night, offering less detail than Sam wanted, but she managed to coax out a little more than Jade initially wanted to give. It helped that she was high. It was easier to get lost in the memories, and she knew she was grinning like an idiot. Occasionally, Sam seemed to be taking notes on her phone. When it was over, she nodded in satisfaction.

“Looks like I made two hundred and fifty bucks off of knowing you so well. Thanks, dude.”

Jade stared incredulously, “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on?” She didn’t think she even wanted to know what the other bets were about.

“Hey, I was listening. It sounded hot as hell.”

“Understatement,” Jade muttered, feeling a smirk tug her lips.

“So what happens now?” Sam asked.

Jade shrugged, “I texted her, and she said she was going to text me later, but that was awhile ago. I don’t know. It was breakup sex, so it was supposed to be kind of a last hurrah, you know? So I guess...we’re friends. Or we will be.”

Sam let her gaze linger thoughtfully on the guys at the gym. A chuckle escaped her. “Lumpiest dude, right there,” she pointed. Jade let herself be distracted, laughing along with Sam. But then Sam seemed to remember what they were talking about. “I know I wasn’t there before you and Tori got together, but I was there when it ended, and Cat told me once you two weren’t that good at being friends.”

Jade shrugged. Cat wasn’t wrong. “I guess. But we’re older now. And besides, like, there’s so much we don’t know about each other at this point, it’s kind of like a fresh start. Like,” Jade realized something that had been bothering her since her brief exchange with Tori that morning. “Is she seeing anyone?” she asked Sam abruptly.

Sam’s brow furrowed, “I don’t think so, but I don’t really know.”

Jade grunted thoughtfully. It was possible that even if she were, Tori could be in an open relationship. She _had_ spent the night. This reminded her of something, though, and she regarded Sam curiously. “You know, I’ve always known that you and Cat have some kind of like...arrangement, but...what even is that?”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” Sam actually seemed eager to talk about it, “So, we definitely knew we had feelings for each other when we were still in high school, but like, I was always confused because Cat never wanted to bone down. And then, you know, the arrest happened the summer after her graduation, and she started trying new meds, and we realized that we would need some help if we were going to seriously try and stay together, and like, fuck it. Mama was too deep in love to give up then. So that’s when we started seeing Patrice.”

Jade felt like her brain just got whiplash. “Patrice? You’re not talking about Patrice _Kline_ , are you?”

“Yeah, she’s our relationship therapist. You know her?”

“She’s a friend of Tori’s.”

Sam blinked. “Huh. Wild. Well, she’s great. She helped Cat and me hammer out our arrangement. Basically what it comes down to is this: Cat likes it when I chase her around so she feels like a bunny running from a fox or something, I don’t know, but whatever that means for her, she’s a total pillow princess. And I love giving it to her, I really do, but Mama’s got needs, too. So she lets me go out and do anything I want, as long as I’m always there for her when she needs me.”

Jade blinked, because that was _a lot_. “What, uh. What do you even tell the other women you sleep with?” She wondered if it was standard to just lie, or what?

Sam grinned. “Well, I let them know about Cat, and I ask them if they’d be into her watching. If not, cool, if yes, I send a picture of the chick to Cat, and she can say yes or no. If yes, well, they get to come home with me and we put on a show for my girl.”

Jade’s head was absolutely swimming now. “Oh my god, she _watches_?” she uttered, already regretting the amount of detail she’d gotten about her friends’ sex life.

“Yeah, she doesn’t want to join in, but she definitely gets a thrill from it.”

“Oh god,” Jade said again. “So at what point are you texting me their boobs?”

Sam shrugged. “Depends. I get consent to take a photo. Then I tell them about my lonely buddy out on the road, and how you could use a pick me up. And if they’re into it, I send it to you.”

“Yeah, that moniker you use to make them sympathize with me just makes me sound like a desperate, horny trucker,” Jade said wearily. “Does Cat know you send me that stuff, by the way?”

“Of course. It’s all above board and consensual.” Sam sounded exactly like someone who had talked extensively with Patrice in that moment.

Jade shook her head, taking in everything she’d been hearing. But then something else occurred to her. “Shelby Marx,” Jade said hesitantly, “Did you...did you take pictures of her?” Oh god did she really want to know this?

“Yeah, I’ve got ‘em in here somewhere,” Sam lifted her phone, “I wasn’t sending you anything back then, but hold on, I can ask her if you can see them.”

“No, don’t,” Jade protested feebly, but Sam was already typing away on her phone, “I...okay, see what she says.” Okay, she _was_ curious. But probably Shelby would say no, right? And then something else came to mind. “Uh...oh god. With Shelby...did Cat watch?” As soon as it was out of her mouth, she regretted it, and quickly said, “No, don’t tell me, I don’t think I want to know.”

“Chill, Cat said no to that one,” Sam said right away. “She claimed it was weird that she looked so much like Tori. Which, I still don’t see it. Shelby’s way hotter.” She squinted at Jade, “Should I apologize, though? Like, does it feel like I saw your ex naked?”

Jade laughed in spite of herself. “I don’t know. But Tori’s way hotter anyway, so whatever.”

“Whatever is right,” Sam scoffed. Her phone buzzed in her hand, and her face lit up in a grin. “Shelby gave the green light. So, do you want to see them?”

Chiz. _Did_ she? Okay, yeah, she kind of definitely did. Maybe she was just too high to make a responsible decision about this, but she thought she’d regret not looking more than looking. “Okay, yeah.”

“Nice,” Sam commented, “Hold on…” Jade could see her scrolling rapidly through her phone, and within thirty seconds, she said, “Alright, here they are.”

“It disturbs me that you found that so quickly.”

“What? They’re organized.” Sam passed the phone over to her.

Jade stared at the breasts on the screen. _Did_ they look like Tori’s? They were similar in size and shape, but even as she was looking, she was second-guessing everything about her memory of them. She zoomed in, examining the pattern of freckles on Shelby’s chest. Of course, they were different from Tori’s. Fuck, why was she staring so much at the tits of a near-stranger she’d made out with once years ago? Jade passed the phone back to Sam.

“Nice, huh?” Sam asked.

“Sure, yeah,” Jade agreed, “And I definitely don’t feel like you saw Tori naked. They look different.”

“Obviously,” Sam chuckled.

They settled into a comfortable silence, and now Jade was thinking about Tori again. She checked her phone, just to make sure she hadn’t missed a text. Maybe Tori was working. It was Sunday, but some people worked on Sunday. That reminded her about that weird discrepancy, with Tori telling her she wore contacts to work, but yet all her videos showed her in glasses. “What do you know about Tori’s work?” Jade asked.

“Not much,” Sam replied, “I watched a couple of her videos once. They’re cool, I guess. Cat made the lab coat for her.”

Jade smiled. That was kind of cute. She wondered if Cat knew any more about Tori’s occupation.

And speak of the devil, there was that text from Tori she’d been expecting all day.

**Hi, how are you?**

_Really_? “Really?” Jade said incredulously.

“What?” Sam asked.

But Jade noticed the three dots that signified that Tori was still typing had appeared, and she kind of wanted to know what else Tori was going to say. “Hang on. Tori,” she explained.

**So I went to the STI clinic today**

**You’ll be glad to know that I am STI free**

Maybe Jade was too high for this, because she didn’t understand how _this_ was what Tori wanted to talk about.

**Okay??**

**Sorry, I just should have asked about it Friday night**

Jade could see she was still typing, but she had a response to this anyway.

**Well since you sound curious**

**I got tested at my last gyno appointment**

**and everything was fine**

The dots disappeared, then returned. Sam was drawing patterns in the sand with the toe of her boot while Jade texted with her ex.

**Oh. When was that?**

Jade rolled her eyes.

**Like six months ago**

**I haven’t slept with anyone since**

**Oh. Okay.**

**Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel...stigmatized or something**

**Just should’ve checked in about that before everything**

Yeah, _everything_ was right. The memory of it softened Jade, and she didn’t really want to fight over text, and evidently, neither did Tori, because she sent another message.

**Are you free to meet for coffee later?**

Finally.

**Yeah, I’m about to have lunch**

**Pretty clear for the rest of the day**

**YasssHomo at 5:30 work for you?**

**Sounds good**

Jade slipped her phone back into her leather jacket pocket. “You think the meatballs are done yet?” she asked Sam.

“Probably,” Sam stood up, “And good thing, too, because I’m fucking starving.”

Sam drove them back to the apartment, where Cat had lunch ready. And _damn_ , they weren’t kidding about Cat’s special meatballs.

But Jade was still wondering about Tori. She knew Cat and Tori were close. She wondered if Cat knew anything.

“Cat, do you know if Tori’s seeing anyone?” Jade asked bluntly. With Cat, it was usually best to just get to the point.

Cat frowned, “I don’t think so, but you’d have to ask her.”

Jade rolled her eyes. Okay, fine, maybe she would tonight. But then she was also thinking about how Sam had told her Cat had made Tori’s lab coat for The Pleasure Professor videos. “What do you know about what she does for work?” she asked Cat.

“She makes sex videos,” Cat said, as if this should be obvious.

“Sex _education_ ,” Jade corrected.

“Yeah, that,” Cat agreed, “Sometimes she has me make costumes for her.”

“Yeah, Sam told me about the lab--wait, _costumes_?” She’d watched a bunch of those Pleasure Professor videos the night before and hadn’t seen Tori in anything but the lab coat. She stared at Cat. “What other costumes have you made besides the lab coat?”

Cat fixed her with a steely expression. “The confidentiality of my clients is of utmost importance,” she told Jade.

“Seriously?” Jade asked.

“ _Yes_ , seriously. I signed an agreement. And I’m a businesswoman. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Cat, _I’m_ a businesswoman. We all are,” Jade felt the need to point out.

“I don’t know about that,” Sam said, “My job is to eat.”

“You can’t tell me anything?” Jade pressed Cat again.

Cat shook her head, “You’ll have to ask Tori about her work.”

Well, damn. It seemed that medicated Cat Valentine could actually keep a secret. Jade eyed her. That alone used to be enough to get her to crack, but Cat just smiled serenely back.

“How long are you in town, Jade?” Cat asked, changing the subject entirely.

Jade sighed. She wondered just how many times she’d hear that question while she was here. Her afternoon was spent with her two friends, Cat swiping through her PearPad to show off various costumes she’d made for her dog dancing clients (these were, apparently, not the confidential kind of clients), Sam catching her up on how many wagers she’d won making wild bets with her friend Dice. Just before five, she said goodbye and made her way back into West Hollywood to the coffee shop where she’d made plans to meet Tori.

It was Sunday evening, so at least there was street parking and she didn’t have to pay for it.

YasssHomo Coffee Roasters was the same hangout they’d frequented in high school and college, and Jade was honestly glad it still existed. Not only did they have some of the best coffee in Los Angeles, but she’d spent a lot of hours holed up in the back corner, working on scripts and storyboards while she was in film school. There were countless times she and Tori had met up between classes or on weekends, just sitting together as they wrote essays or read required reading. The coffee house had served as an office, a living room, a place to work, a place to hang out.

And now it was a neutral meeting ground.

Or...maybe not, given all the memories that flooded Jade as she stepped in the door. Things had changed, a little. There were new chairs at the tables and it looked like the tabletops had been refinished. But the general vibe of the place was the same: you’re safe here, unless you talk shit about the coffee. Which, who ever would? Jade’s mouth was honestly watering at the idea of an Americano, which was what she immediately ordered at the register. But when she attempted to pay, the barista told her it was already covered.

“What?”

“Someone did a _Gay It Forward, Bi It for You,_ ” which really just meant someone had offered to ‘pay it forward’ and covered the cost of the person in line behind them. The shop was mostly empty, but Tori was already here, so Jade could only assume it had been her.

“Well, here,” Jade jammed a ten dollar bill into the tip jar, then marched back to Tori’s table. Tori smiled at her. She couldn’t have been here long, because she didn’t have a drink yet. “You didn’t have to buy my drink,” Jade said as she sat down.

Tori’s face scrunched up, eyes narrowing behind her glasses. “I didn’t?” she replied.

“Oh,” Jade said, “Nevermind, then.”

The silence stretched awkwardly for a moment, and then the barista called, “Decaf oat milk latte!” and placed it on the bar.

Tori shot Jade a grin and got up, picking up the latte. But she wasn’t sitting back down. Jade was about to get up to figure out what her deal was when another drink cup appeared on the bar, this one announced as a two shot Americano. Tori picked it up, as well as two sugar packets, and brought both drinks back to the table.

“That drink could’ve been anyone’s,” Jade commented, accepting the drink.

Tori shrugged, laying the sugar packets down next to the cup. “Well, I wasn’t wrong, was I?”

She wasn’t. Jade added one of the packets to her coffee, seeing that Tori had made note of the unused packet. Instead, Jade felt the need to ask, “Decaf oat milk latte, though, seriously? I mean, I admire the lack of overly sweet flavor, but _decaf_?” Making fun of Tori’s coffee order was an old habit, and one Jade fell back into easily.

Tori took a sip, “Well, first of all, it’s delicious. And secondly, I have to be able to sleep tonight because I work tomorrow. And unlike you, I can’t drink coffee at all hours of the day.”

“Your loss,” Jade replied, sipping her own drink. _Damn_ , this was great coffee. She dug into her bag and placed Tori’s award from the reunion on the table. It was a small, simple plaque that said “Tori Vega: Best Community Contribution, Sex Education” in engraved letters, but Tori accepted it from Jade as if she were winning an Oscar or something.

“Oh my god, this is so amazing!” Tori looked like maybe she might almost cry? Okay it wasn’t that intense, but she seemed... _moved_. “Now I feel bad that I couldn’t accept this in person.” She glanced back up at Jade. “Not that I...had time.” There was a slight smirk on her lips before she turned to tuck the award away into her own bag. “Which reminds me...I, uh, need to apologize to you about the other night.”

 _Ah_. Okay, here it was. The reveal that Tori was seeing someone. Or...god, what if it was something else, something worse. Was Tori about to declare they could never speak to each other again? She wasn’t sure why that would be the case, but what in the hell did she need to be sorry for? “For what?” Jade braced herself, expecting to hear something she definitely wasn’t going to like. Not that it mattered if Tori was in a relationship because they were working on being friends, but…Jade certainly didn’t want there to be any regrets about their breakup sex.

“We should have talked, first,” Tori said, eyes on her latte.

Jade couldn’t figure out what Tori was getting at. “But…we did? By the pool. In the jacuzzi. We talked more than we have in a long time.”

Tori pulled her gaze up to meet Jade’s. “No,” she said with a light sigh, “we should have talked about the sex first. Like...boundaries and STI status and...” her eyes lingered on the bruised skin of a healing hickey just below Jade’s jaw. Jade hadn’t bothered to cover it up because...who cared? She wasn’t seeing anyone. Which...omg, was she ever going to find out about Tori’s relationship status? “Whether or not I should have left _that_ in plain sight.”

Maybe this was Jade’s chance. “Well, I’m not in a relationship, so the hickeys aren’t a problem. And, let me get this right, you’re worried you’ve done something wrong because we mutually agreed to have incredible sex without a full powerpoint presentation beforehand?”

“I’m being serious!” but Tori was smiling, just a bit. “ _Incredible_ sex, huh?”

“I can’t remember the last time I had at least four independent orgasms in a single session.” Okay, now Tori was looking a little smug. Jade frowned, “What, _you_ don’t think it was incredible sex?” It was a challenge, but also, okay, maybe Jade wanted just a little more validation.

“I definitely didn’t say that,” Tori replied, voice low.

“Well, it wasn’t all that easy, keeping up with you,” Jade said, probing a bit more. Because with everything Tori had brought to the bedroom, maybe there was a little bit of uncertainty emerging, that Jade hadn’t measured up somehow.

Tori frowned at this though, “What do you mean, keep up with me? Seemed to me like you were doing just fine.” There was a look accompanied with this statement, a flash of dark eyes over the rim of Tori’s glasses that made a momentary heat sear through Jade’s guts.

Jade settled into her seat a little more comfortably. “I mean, it's been a little while for me, so maybe that’s why everything was so intense,” Jade said, smirking behind her coffee cup. “Maybe it was the weed.”

Tori groaned, “That’s another thing. We were _so high_.”

Jade wondered if this was part of the territory that came with being a sex educator, this need to overanalyze every sexual interaction. “Okay, Tori. Seriously. It’s cool. I’m fine. I appreciate that you’re cautious about this but also, like... _chill_.” She didn’t want to sound dismissive, she just didn’t want Tori to agonize over it, which it seemed like maybe she had been doing since they parted ways the day before.

-

“You know, me being notoriously _unchill_ is something you constantly reminded me of for years.”

“I guess I assumed ten years and all the cannabis maybe relaxed you a little.”

“I am relaxed!” Tori exclaimed, her voice betraying that she was, in fact, not relaxed. She took a couple of breaths and centered herself. Jade was kind of right about the fact that time and medical marijuana had made her decidedly less high-strung than she had been in her late teens, but there were still moments when she couldn’t help how her brain fixated on things. But she also knew she could let go of this, because Jade had confirmed that everything was fine, the STI test determined there was no harm done, and they were sitting across from each other having a conversation. So, maybe their breakup sex interaction had been a successful one.

“Are _you_ seeing anyone?” Jade asked, suddenly.

Tori regarded the question, though she knew she should have made this clear two nights ago. “No, I’m not. I haven’t really dated anyone seriously in a long time.” Maybe that was an overshare. “Not that I don’t have sex. I do. I…” No, okay _that part_ was the overshare.

But Jade looked highly amused at her confession. Tori was pretty sure she was about to be accused of being unchill again, for being flustered in this moment, but then Jade simply asked, “So, what is it that you do?”

Tori’s eyebrows rose. “I thought you got a pretty clear picture of what it is I _do_ during sex the other night,” she replied.

“No, not that,” Jade said, though Tori noticed she was blushing a little. “For work. What do you do for work?”

“You know what I do. I produce online content for Moustache Media.”

“Okay, but, you told me that you wear your contacts for work, and in every video of The Pleasure Professor I’ve seen, you’ve worn those nerdy glasses.” Tori suppressed a smile. So Jade hadn’t wasted much time checking out her videos since she found out. “And Cat told me she makes _costumes_ plural for you, but would only admit to the lab coat because the rest are _confidential_.” Jade folded her arms across her chest, fixing Tori with a challenging expression.

“Well, The Pleasure Professor is only one part of my work,” Tori replied.

“Then what else do you do?” Jade asked.

Tori felt a smile spread over her face. Jade was already fixated on finding out more about her since they’d been out of each other’s lives for so long. She could tell her, sure. But maybe it would be more fun to make a game out of it. Otherwise, Tori worried they’d realize they didn’t have anything to talk about, and their friendship would fizzle before it had even begun.

And she liked having Jade back in her life. She’d missed the way it felt for intense blue eyes to burn with their full attention on her.

“So, I’ll be happy to tell you anything about my work,” Tori said lightly, “But, I will only answer yes or no questions.”

-

“What?” Jade asked, shocked at Tori’s audacity. “That’s stupid. No.”

Tori shrugged, “That’s okay. We can talk about something else.”

Jade narrowed her eyes, “Do you not _want_ to tell me about your work?”

“No, I do,” Tori replied enigmatically.

“Then _why_?” Jade asked.

“It’s more fun this way, don’t you think?”

Jade groaned, slumping back in the booth and taking a large gulp of her Americano, staring at Tori, who looked back with a calm smile. “Fine. Then I won’t answer anything but yes or no questions, either,” Jade challenged back.

“No, I can ask you anything I want, and you’ll answer,” Tori replied decidedly.

“What?!” Jade sputtered.

“You _want_ to answer my questions, because you want to tell me about what you’ve been up to, so,” Tori shrugged.

“You want to tell me about your work, too!”

“Yeah, but I’m patient enough to make you work for it.” Tori’s eyes sparkled mischievously as she took another sip of her latte, eyes not leaving Jade.

Jade groaned again, still refusing to agree to these terms. “So what do you _do_?” she asked again. Tori just shrugged. Jade sighed, sitting forward and regarding Tori, trying to figure out what else to ask. “Does your other work involve costumes?” She was pretty sure it did, given what Cat said, but it was at least a yes or no question she could think of.

“Sometimes,” Tori replied.

Not very helpful. Jade huffed out another frustrated breath and tried to think of something else to say. “Are you acting?” Maybe she was on the wrong track, here. Maybe Tori’s other work was separate entirely from sex education.

Tori tilted her head. “Yes,” she said, though something in her tone suggested that it wasn’t such a simple answer. Still not helpful. Jade tried to think of another question, but then Tori turned the tables on Jade and asked, “Do you have any work lined up while you’re in town?”

Jade shrugged, “I’ve been looking, but nothing definite yet.”

“Your website says you’re currently in LA,” Tori observed.

“Yeah? Well, I am,” Jade eyed her.

Tori shrugged, “Just didn’t realize it might be more than just a visit for you.”

“Well, I don’t know how long I’m going to be in town, anyway,” Jade said, before Tori could ask the inevitable question. She paused. “You looked at my website?”

“Sure. You watched a bunch of Pleasure Professor videos,” Tori shot back. “Did you learn anything?” she asked playfully.

“Yeah, I learned that you overshared about our sex life on a public video channel,” Jade replied sarcastically.

For some reason, Tori looked pleased about this. “Personal anecdotes often make good lessons,” she responded, “Besides, it’s not as though anyone would know it was you.”

“Um, I don’t think it would be that hard to figure out.”

“I mean,” Tori amended, “Maybe our friends that we had dinner with the other night would make the leap, but otherwise, you’re completely anonymous.”

“I guess.” Jade wasn’t really upset about it, she just wanted the opportunity to see if she could get one up on Tori at least once this conversation.

Instead, it was Tori who flipped things on her, _again_. “So why is it that you haven’t had much sex lately?” she asked bluntly.

Jade balked for a moment. But then, she and Sam had just had a conversation about their sex lives, so maybe this was exactly what she and Tori _should_ talk about if they were planning to be friends. “Uh, well...I just don’t really date. I go out a little, but with bouncing between cities, I’m never really looking for anything beyond something pretty short-term.”

“Okay, that explains why you haven’t _dated_ lately but--”

“If I’m not seeing someone at least a couple of times, I’m probably not sleeping with them.” Not to say that Jade hadn’t had a few one night stands over the years (though perhaps none as truly memorable as Cannibal Quinn) but she at least preferred to find a little bit of connection before going to bed with someone.

“Ah,” Tori sat back in her seat, regarding Jade thoughtfully.

“Why haven’t you dated anyone seriously in awhile?” Jade volleyed back with her own invasive question about Tori’s sex life.

Tori seemed unfazed, and simply shrugged. “I just haven’t really met anyone interesting lately.”

Jade felt like that answer was a copout. “So you only meet people interesting enough to have sex with, but not date?” she pressed.

“Something like that,” Tori replied easily, “My work keeps me busy, and it’s certainly easier to take time for a hookup than to try to invest in a relationship.”

Right. Tori’s work. “So what else do you do for Moustache Media?” Jade asked.

Tori just shook her head and smiled, reminding Jade about the stupid rule about yes or no questions.

Jade let out a frustrated breath. She hadn’t even really been trying to trick Tori, she’d just half forgotten about the stupid game she insisted on playing. “Do you like, edit the videos or something?” Jade tried.

“Not really my thing,” Tori replied.

Okay, so maybe Tori wasn’t a huge computer nerd. Jade tapped her fingernail against her coffee cup irritably. She had been onto something with the acting thing, though. “Do you do work outside of Moustache Media?” she asked.

“Yes,” was the simple answer. And then, “In fact, I have a work obligation at seven, so I’d better go so I can get ready.”

Jade checked her watch. It was already six-thirty. How? “Right, okay,” Jade mumbled.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Tori smiled, standing up and draining the last of her oat milk latte. Her _decaf_ oat milk latte. “It was really nice to see you.”

“You, too,” Jade replied, still thinking as she watched Tori throw her cup away before moving for the door. But before she could actually leave, Jade called out, “Does the work you’re going to do involve a costume?”

Tori turned, flashing her one of her ridiculous smiles. “You could say that.” And then, she was gone.

Jade slumped back in her seat, staring at the empty half of the booth where Tori had just been, mind swimming. She absently lifted her cup to her mouth, then realized she’d already finished her coffee. Might as well head back to her hotel.

But just as she got up to leave, the barista called her over to the cash register. “Excuse me, but your girlfriend,” Jade glanced at him sharply, “Er, your wife?” he tried.

“My _friend_ ,” Jade offered reluctantly, the word feeling strange on her tongue.

“Oh. Sorry. Your friend left her credit card here,” he said, “Do you want to call her, or…?”

“Uh, yeah…” Jade quickly hit Tori’s name on her contact list, not even sure if she’d answer.

But she picked up right away. “I left my card, didn’t I?” Tori said, right away.

“Yep,” replied Jade.

Tori groaned. “Dammit, I’m already driving...Okay, can you put the barista on, really quick?”

Jade wasn’t sure how she became Tori’s secretary, but she complied. “Hold on,” she said, passing the phone over to the young man who was waiting to figure out what was happening. “She wants to talk to you.”

He took the PearPhone and spoke with Tori, saying things like, “sure,” “no problem,” and “you bet.” Finally he handed the phone back to Jade. Tori had already hung up. “She said to have you sign when you’re ready to close out and I’ll return the card to you.”

“When _I’m_ ready to close out?”

“Yes, she was very clear that I was to put whatever you wanted on her card.”

 _Oh_. She remembered Tori pretending she hadn’t bought Jade’s coffee. That liar.

But for some reason, Jade found it more amusing than irritating. Tori was full of surprises lately, that was for sure.

“Then add this to the tab,” Jade requested, picking up a French press and a bag of their Guatemalan medium roast. Jade’s last French press had broken, and she had no intention of drinking terrible drip coffee at her mom’s house.

The barista rang everything up with little complaint, and even though Jade had already tipped in cash, she hit the button to add another tip onto Tori’s credit card. Tori _had_ said she could get whatever she wanted, after all.

Jade got back into the rental car and sent a text to Tori.  
  


**Okay so I have your card whenever you want it back**

  
Tori didn’t answer, but then, she was driving. Well, Jade had to drive, too, back to Burbank.

She drove down Santa Monica Blvd, and as she passed The Pleasure Chest, she was struck with the memory of the times she’d gone there with Tori. She remembered how Tori had been so nervous, how she’d wanted to hide because Patrice had been there, and yet now, Tori was showing sex toys she’d personally used on a public SplashFace account, completely shameless about it. Things had definitely changed.

And abruptly, Jade remembered that Patrice had been there to teach a workshop that first time they’d visited the shop. And now _Tori_ was a sex educator.

Jade was pretty sure that she had just figured out what else Tori did for work.

At a stoplight that she knew was going to take some time to turn green, Jade grabbed her phone to shoot off a quick text to Tori.

**  
Yes or no do you do workshops at the pleasure chest?**

  
Jade made it back to Burbank, ready to relax in her hotel room for one more evening. Instead of going all the way to the pool, she just got out of the rental car and leaned against it to finish smoking the joint Tori had left for her. By the time she got back to her room, she was in the mood to lay in bed and watch a bunch of weird chiz on SplashFace. Maybe order some room service.

She also had a reply from Tori.  
  


**Yes  
  
**

Jade grinned. Well that wasn’t so bad. She’d cracked it.

The next day, Jade had to check out of her hotel room. The rental car was due back in the evening, so she’d planned to make use of it until she figured out transportation once she got to her mom’s house. After breakfast, coffee, and checking out, she drove to Tori’s parents house.

It was surreal, parking in their driveway after so long. It had been such a familiar space to her even after the breakup that it didn’t necessarily remind her of Tori per se, but all kinds of nostalgia washed over her as she approached the front door, where Holly still kept a variety of potted plants on the porch. Memories of past holidays, of high school parties and hangouts, of working on creative projects, of being high with Trina, of kissing Tori, of _other_ firsts with Tori--all of that came back to her just as David opened the door.

And immediately, he opened his arms to her, too. Grinning, Jade let him wrap her in a fatherly bear hug, and then Holly was there, offering one of her own.

They caught up over more coffee at the kitchen table. Jade wanted to know more about David’s security business--he’d quit the police force when Jade was finishing college to start his security company, but it was still pretty new when Jade had left for New York. Despite this, though, she still had a habit of calling him Lieutenant Vega, and David didn’t seem to mind.

After David entertained her for a while with the weirdest celebrity stories he was permitted to tell, Jade turned to Holly.

“So, Holly,” Jade said, “I heard that you have a show coming out in the fall.”

“ _Weed Wars_ ,” Holly confirmed, grinning, then mimed zipping her lips shut.

“I get it, you can’t talk,” Jade grinned, “I’m not going to pry details out of you.”

“You know,” Holly said, sounding conspiratorial enough that Jade wondered if she was going to get some inside scoop, “My website’s probably going to get a lot of traffic when the show airs, and I could use some updated images of some of my products. I don’t know how long you’re in town, Jade, but would you like to take some pictures for me?”

“Absolutely,” Jade replied immediately, “You can pay me in product.”

Holly laughed, “How about I pay you in money _and_ product?”

“I can’t argue with that,” Jade agreed.

But both of the Vegas had things to do in the afternoon, and Jade still had to return her rental car, so it was time for the inevitable trip home.

When she got there, her mom met her at the gate. Jade smiled. She was happy to see her, even if coming back to live in her childhood home wasn’t exactly ideal. “Hey, Mom.”

Tiffany stepped forward and wrapped her in a massive hug. It was a surprisingly tight hug, considering Jade was wearing her backpack and her laptop bag. “I’m so glad you’re home,” she said.

Aaaand, she just _kept_ hugging her. “Mom,” Jade prompted. Still nothing. “ _Mom_.”

“Sorry, honey,” she pulled away. Chiz, was she _crying_? This was so unnecessary. “Come on in.”

It had been a few years since she’d been in the house, but a cursory glance around showed that at least this part looked about the same. Smelled about the same, too, a weirdly comforting homey smell that put Jade at ease.

“Let’s get your bags into the guest room,” Tiffany said.

“Sure,” Jade replied, moving toward the staircase to her old bedroom.

“Oh, no, honey,” Tiffany replied, “This way.” She pointed down the hallway, toward her bedroom and her brother’s bedroom.

Jade frowned. “Wait, what?”

“The guest room is here,” Tiffany gestured to Jeremy’s room. Again, what was happening?

Jade pushed open the door to what had been her brother’s room and was immediately irritated.

Her old furniture was in it, pushed into the space. Jeremy’s room had been smaller than her old room, and it made her furniture look weirdly huge. The closet was open, filled with boxes of Jade’s belongings, with more boxes spilling out into the space in front of the closet.

Overall, it looked like kind of a mess. Trying not to fume, because her mom had at least made up the bed and put a vase of fresh flowers on the dresser to make it feel welcoming, Jade dropped off her luggage.

“So, let me guess. Jeremy has my old room,” she said dryly.

“Well, you haven’t really lived here since college, and even then you were in the dorms,” Tiffany said reasonably. “When your brother moved here permanently after community college, it seemed obvious you weren’t coming back anytime soon. it just made sense to give him more space and more privacy in your room.”

Jade sighed. It was true. “Where is Jeremy?”

“Downstairs.”

“I’ve got to return my rental car. Do you think one of you could come with me to Burbank?”

“I’m waiting on a call for work,” Tiffany said, “But I bet Jeremy would like to spend some time with you.”

Jade wasn’t sure that was true, but it seemed like she needed his help, so she went down and knocked on what used to be her bedroom door.

“What?” Jeremy asked.

Jade opened the door. And okay, yeah, it was definitely weird to see her brother’s things all over her old room. And he’d kept her red armchair, the wazz-bag. Not that there was much room for it in his old bedroom. Which was, she guessed, now her bedroom. Super temporarily, she hoped.

“Jade!” Okay, he did seem more excited to see her than she expected, and got up from his desk to give her a hug. They weren’t especially close, even as kids, because of the difference in their ages and the fact that he lived primarily with their dad after the divorce.

“Good to see you, too. So, I need a favor.”

Luckily, Jeremy was game for a drive to Burbank. As they went out to the driveway, she noticed that he got into the Volkswagen that she’d assumed was her mom’s for some reason, and not Jade’s old car, the one he’d been driving since she’d left for New York.

After dropping off her rental car, Jade got into the passenger seat of her brother’s car, and he drove them back to Hollywood.

The drive started out quiet and a little awkward. It kind of sucked, Jade realized, that she didn’t know what to even say to her brother. She loved him, of course, which was part of why she’d made sure to come home for his community college graduation a few years before. Finally, she just decided to say _something_ , and maybe it would get him talking.

“So, you just live with Mom now?”

Jeremy nodded, “Yeah,” he said.

The silence stretched. Okay, well, that didn’t work. “And she gave you my room,” Jade tried.

“Yeah.” He glanced at her, and she knew she was scowling at his lack of communication. “She swore you wouldn’t mind. We didn’t know you were coming home anytime soon.”

“It’s fine,” Jade assured him, though her tone was a little short, “I get it. Besides, I don’t really know how long I’ll be home, anyway. Mom and I don’t live together well.”

“Yeah,” he said a third time, then scratched at his neck. “I mean, Mom can be overbearing and embarrassing…”

“No kidding,” Jade snorted.

“But living with her beats the hell out of living with Dad,” Jeremy finished harshly.

Well. This was interesting. Jade glanced at him curiously. Jade had basically stopped communicating with her dad in high school. Their relationship had deteriorated beyond repair not long after he’d seen _Well Wishes_ and told her he’d enjoyed it, because in one of their very next conversations, he’d made it abundantly clear that he still didn’t respect the pursuit of art as a career and thought she was wasting her time. She was old enough then that she couldn’t be forced to spend time with him, and he hadn’t fought to try to make her. So they’d basically stopped maintaining any kind of relationship around that time, and honestly, it had suited Jade just fine.

But Jeremy had always gotten along with their dad. At least, she thought so. Why else would he have chosen to live there most of the time?

Jade continued watching him. “Mom is definitely better to live with,” she agreed. Jeremy looked a little uncomfortable. And irritated. “You moved in with her for college, right?” He’d transferred to UCLA after community college. She wasn’t even sure what he was studying, she just knew he was enrolled part-time while he worked some retail job.

Jeremy nodded, “I mean, she’s closer to my campus. But that’s not why. It’s because Dad’s an asshole.”

Jade’s eyes widened, and she laughed before she could stop herself. “Well, I could’ve told you that.” Jeremy’s hands tightened on the wheel. “Jeez, Jeremy, what did he do?” she asked.

Jeremy shook his head. “I wanted to change my major. And he told me I was wasting my time and that he didn’t want to waste his money.”

Jade sighed. “I’ve heard that before,” she muttered, watching him. “Still, I’m sorry. That sucks.”

Jeremy shrugged, “It’s cool. At least Mom is supportive.” He glanced at her. “I should’ve listened to you when we were younger.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Jade drawled.

By the time Jeremy pulled back into the driveway at her mom’s house, Jade thought they’d managed to find some sibling common ground. But when her eyes landed on her old car, she asked her brother about it.

“So, is this your car?” she asked as they got out of the Volkswagen.

“Yeah, I just bought it from a friend, you like it?”

“Sure. So, who’s driving my old car?”

“No one, I’m selling it.”

“You are not!” Jade growled.

Jeremy balked, “What?”

“ _I’m_ driving it,” Jade said decisively.

“But my buddy was gonna give me five hundred bucks for it.”

“Okay, first of all, no. Because it’s my car.”

“You left it behind!” Jeremy protested.

“I _let_ you borrow it while I was away,” Jade told him, “So since you got my room _and_ my car when I left, why don’t you just give me back my car and I won’t sneak down here in the middle of the night and shave off all your hair?” Her brother seemed like he was about to try and call her bluff, so she added, “You think I don’t know how to get in and out of here without making any noise? Do you know how many times I snuck out in high school?” The answer was zero times because their mom really didn’t care or she was never home, but Jeremy didn’t know that.

Jeremy deflated, “Okay, that’s...okay, deal.”

“It still runs, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

That evening, Jade settled into her bedroom, unpacking her bags. And then she started on the boxes of her old belongings. She hadn’t really gone through anything when she’d moved to New York, because it seemed like it could be temporary at that point. Which meant she kind of had a lot to go through, lots of stuff from high school and college that had accumulated.

She started with her Blu-Rays and DVDs, because physical media was something she missed terribly. Her old media shelf had been moved to this room, so she started sorting and cataloguing her collection, placing them back on the shelf.

And as she compared her movies with the FilmTrackr app that she’d redownloaded onto her PearPhone, she made a few discoveries.

She went downstairs and knocked on her brother’s bedroom door. It was getting late, but not _that_ late.

He answered, in pajamas, though clearly still awake. “Yeah?”

“So I’m missing all three _Evil Dead_ s, _Chopping Mall_ , and, for some reason, _Mean Girls_?” Jade raised her eyebrows at him, then held out a hand. “Hand them over.” She wiggled her fingers, impatiently. “Come on.”

Jeremy didn’t move, “What makes you think I have them?”

Jade snorted, “Please, like I didn’t see your post on Spectrogram showing off the _Evil Dead_ series, as if they were yours?”

Jeremy pressed his lips together, but then he moved across the room to one of his shelves. Jade noticed it was her old bookshelf. “To be fair, you _did_ leave them behind,” Jeremy defended himself.

“They’re still _mine_ ,” Jade shot back. Younger siblings were such magpies. And annoying. Jeremy handed back her movies. “Stay out of my room,” Jade commanded, like they were kids again.

“Yeah, whatever,” Jeremy replied, with no bite to it at all.

By the time Jade settled into her childhood bed, in a room that wasn’t hers, she felt both comfortable and disconcerted. Which, she supposed, was as good a metaphor as any for being back home after so many years.

-

Managing her own digital media company and producing her own internet content, along with her additional professional endeavors, kept Tori very busy. She realized she was verging on being a workaholic, but it was how she preferred her life, for now. Her work fulfilled her, she felt like she was offering something that truly benefited the public at large, and she was able to live comfortably.

Also, access to her mom’s cannabis products also helped her feel, well...chill, to use a Jade West-ism.

Tori wasn’t, like, stoned all the time. She was never high on the job because she always wanted clarity in her work, but once she was home, she preferred to cap off the evening with a few leisurely hits out on her back porch or with a microdose of her mom’s fast-acting edibles. She’d learned her limits, how much it took to unwind just enough from a particularly heavy workday, and everything felt like it was balanced, in harmony and...yeah, that sounded like some stoner shit, for sure.

Whatever. She was happy.

She was also enjoying the interactions she’d been having with Jade over the last couple of weeks. Things had been limited to texting, as they were both working (Jade seemed to have easily booked several photography sessions, already), and it wasn’t nearly as much as they’d texted each other, once upon a time. But at least once a day, she’d get a message from Jade that would say:

**  
Are you at work right now?**

  
Tori would reply yes or no, then Jade might engage in a short bit of small talk, but often it wasn’t until the next day that Tori would hear from her again, at a different time of day, with the same question. Around day four, Tori realized what was happening: Jade was trying to figure out _when_ Tori was at work. This was _fun_. And given that this had gone on for around ten days, Tori had a feeling Jade wasn’t any closer to figuring things out. Tori’s schedule was reliant on when her clients needed her, so she didn’t necessarily work a traditional nine-to-five, though she did have regular weekly meetings with Sinjin to review any security issues or upgrade needs. Otherwise, her time was split between creating content and fitting clients into the pockets of time she had available.

Today, though, she’d ended up with a free afternoon, so she was at her parents’ house, helping her mother and Tiffany put together gift bags for their erotic book club, which had apparently grown to twenty people. Tori was providing a list of Pleasure Professor recommended sex toys and a coupon book for the Pleasure Chest, though she made the other two women swear they wouldn’t tell her what they decided to purchase with them.

“I’m happy to support your endeavor, but I don’t need to know what you two are using my coupon code for,” Tori said, stuffing the coupon book into a bag, then sliding it over to grab the next.

“Honey, there’s plenty of things about your personal life that I don’t need to know, either,” Holly countered.

“That’s why I don’t talk about my sex life with you!”

“Yes, but you do host a famous web show about it.”

“It’s not about _my_ sex life,” Tori clarified, “it’s about sex in general.”

“Well, you talk a lot about your personal experiences.”

“Mom! We agreed that if you watch any of the videos, you’re not allowed to pry.”

“Who’s prying? I’m just saying it’s hard to avoid them when you’re always listed in the Top Viewed videos.” Holly smiled at her. “And I’m so proud of you for that.”

“Why are you even searching for them?” Tori knew it was ridiculous to pretend her mother didn’t have a sex life, especially knowing what she knew about her parents. Still, she was one of many popular sex educators on the internet and they’d had a few conversations about boundaries regarding Tori’s work.

“I was _actually_ looking for something I’d heard recommended about orgasms after fifty with Eva Lowry and it turned out to be the video you’d done with her.”

Tori groaned a little, knowing exactly the video her mom was referencing. It was a great interview and video workshop, but she didn’t want to think about her own mother employing any of the techniques that had been discussed. Also, Eva had been incredibly flirty and charismatic to the point that the memory of it left Tori blushing a bit.

“What’s the name of the video?” Tiffany asked, already tapping something into the search bar on her PearPhone.

Tori did not need them to start watching this _right now_. “Tell you what, I’ll send both of you the link to the premium version with the full interview if it means we can talk about something else, right now.”

Tiffany set her phone down, but shrugged. “I think it’s nice that you two are able to even discuss as much as you do. Jade’s never been one to open up to me about these things.”

“She likes her privacy,” said Tori. Though, the last time they’d talked, she’d certainly been open about her feelings regarding their breakup sex. But then, Jade had always been willing to talk about their own sex life with her, back when they’d been dating.

“And she’s always been that way,” Tiffany mused, “shutting herself in her room, hunched over her laptop, writing, I assume. Or watching movies. When she had her room downstairs, I couldn’t ever hear what she was watching, but now that she’s up in Jeremy’s old room, it’s all screaming and chainsaws.”

Wait. “Jade’s staying with you?” Tori had asked, a couple of times, about Jade’s plans for being in LA and she’d always mentioned looking at air bnb or short-term sublets.

“Yes, at least until she’s back on her feet out here.”

Tori didn’t want to press too hard, but she also knew it might be possible to get all the answers from Tiffany. “So...she’s planning to stay in LA?”

“She certainly hasn’t mentioned any plans to go anywhere else.”

 _Very interesting_.

On Wednesday evening, Tori was at The Pleasure Chest, running a workshop called _Reconnecting With Your Lover: Exploring Touch_ , in her Pleasure Professor outfit. It was an opportunity to teach a small group of couples a sex therapy technique called sensate focus, which encouraged them to explore one another’s bodies while avoiding specific erogenous zones like genitals, essentially relearning how to touch one another sensually, without the goal of orgasm. Tori guided the couples in some communication exercises, allowing them to express to one another the kind of closeness they were hoping to rebuild, and then they took turns lying on their yoga mats as she guided them through the first stage of relearning how to touch each other. Then they traded off. When the workshop was over, she would send the couples off with instructions for how to continue the exercises at home, until they were able to reintroduce sexual touching to their repertoire.

But as her workshop was ending, and she was about to guide the couples back to reality, she happened to notice a customer coming into the store. None of her workshop attendees seemed to notice, as absorbed as they were in each other, but Tori let her gaze wander over to the sound of the bell on the front door.

Jade. Jade was the customer.

She caught Tori’s eye, eyebrow lifting, though she didn’t look at all surprised. Her gaze passed over the couples on their yoga mats curiously, lingering as she clearly tried to figure out just what was happening here, but then she glanced back at Tori and headed up the stairs to the section of the shop with the sex toys.

“Okay,” Tori spoke calmly, “I want you to join hands. Help your partner who is lying down to sit up carefully. Stay connected for the moment. You’re coming back to reality together.” She watched the gentle way her couples were holding each other, clearly feeling intimate, connected. She smiled. When everyone was finally on their feet, yoga mats rolled up, she gave them all the literature required to continue the exercises at home. They thanked her as they left, and Tori felt accomplished. Helping people access their pleasure was extremely gratifying.

She packed up her materials and then went upstairs. “We’re all finished downstairs,” she told the employee behind the cash register.

“How’d it go?” she asked, friendly.

“Really well, thank you,” Tori replied. She kept her voice calm. As long as she was in costume, she tended to stay in the headspace of The Pleasure Professor. She glanced around for Jade and didn’t see her, so she slipped back toward the Employees Only area and changed out of her lab coat in the employee bathroom and into her street clothes.

When she came back out, Jade was examining the vibrators, and carrying one of the discreet black bags that indicated she had already made a purchase. She looked up as Tori approached, eyes running over her outfit. “The Pleasure Professor has left the building,” she commented.

Tori shrugged, “Yeah. The workshop is over.”

“What _was_ that?” Jade asked.

Tori raised an eyebrow, “If you knew I was giving a workshop tonight, then you know what it was.”

“I just know it was about reconnecting with your lover, I didn’t know it would look like...that.”

“It’s a sex therapy technique,” Tori explained, “I can give you a pamphlet if you want.”

Jade seemed to find this highly amusing, and she didn’t respond to the offer. Instead, she said, “I have your card.”

Tori nodded, “I know.” She glanced at the bag Jade was carrying, “Looks like you did some shopping.”

“Uh huh.”

“What did you get?”

“Nothing that exciting.” But Tori continued watching her expectantly, so Jade rolled her eyes and pulled out a plastic package containing one of the cheaper vibrators.

She gave Jade a severe look. “I hope you didn’t use _my_ card to buy this, since I already know you used it to buy coffee.”

Jade looked surprised, “No, of course not. Besides, you _told_ me to buy coffee.”

She hadn’t, but she’d purposely left the door open for it. “It’s not even about the money,” Tori said, “It’s because this vibrator is trash and I don’t want it in my spending history.”

Jade looked like she was suppressing laughter again, “I used my own money. By the way, here,” she drew the credit card out of her pocket and passed it back to Tori.

“Thanks,” Tori said, accepting it, though she was still looking at the vibrator Jade bought judgmentally, “Did you not learn anything from watching my videos? Quality matters, Jade.”

“It’s _fine_ , Tori,” Jade rolled her eyes, “I just need something a little different than my hand, it’s not that serious.”

Tori needed to stop thinking about Jade and her hand, immediately. “Don’t come crying to me when it breaks in two months.”

“I won’t.”

“Want to get pancakes?” Tori asked abruptly. They hadn’t been able to meet for over a week, and it seemed as good an opportunity as any.

Jade regarded her with a smirk, “Are you high?”

“No, I just want pancakes. There’s a 24-hour Pancake Palace just down the street.”

“I know, Tori. I’ve literally lived here for most of my life.” But Jade was smiling. “But yeah, let’s get some pancakes.”

Tori gave a friendly wave to the employee and headed out to the parking lot with Jade. “Want to ride with me? That way we won’t both have to find parking.”

“Sure,” Jade agreed, “Let me just put this in my car.” Tori watched as Jade opened the door to a very familiar old Buick Skylark.

“Is that...your old car?” Tori asked tentatively.

“Yeah, I took it back from my brother, he kept it in good shape,” Jade said easily, taking in Tori’s car as she circled it to get to the passenger’s seat. “So you’ve updated to an SUV, huh?”

“It’s technically a station wagon,” A _luxury_ station wagon. Tori was kind of proud of her purchase of a 2020 Subaru Outback Onyx.

“The Shaggin’ Wagon Take Two, huh?” Jade teased, settling into the passenger’s seat.

“It doesn’t see much of _that_ kind of action,” Tori smirked. “Sometimes I have to carry around a lot of supplies for work. So the space is useful.”

Jade was quiet as Tori navigated traffic and found a parking spot near the Pancake Palace. It was a little weird, having Jade in her car again, but it shouldn’t be, considering she’d recently had Jade in her _bed_ again. Well, not her bed, but you know. They were friends now. Or something like it. Tori parked, and Jade made to reach for the door handle, but then she realized that Tori was reaching behind her seat, and she turned curiously.

Tori dug her weed vaporizer from her bag. “You want to hit this?” she asked, turning it on to heat up the flower inside. “It has Black Lodge in it, an indica-dominant hybrid strain bred from Log Lady and Great Northern.” She noticed that Jade was giving her kind of a blank look. “It’ll relax you without putting you to sleep,” she explained, taking a hit from the vaporizer.

“I’m not sure that letting anything called _Black Lodge_ into your body is a good idea, but sure,” Jade agreed, taking the device, looking like she was sipping from the mouthpiece. “Didn’t know you were such a weed nerd.” She passed it back, letting out a puff of vapor.

“Is it really that much of a surprise?” Tori didn’t need to get _high_ , since she’d be driving home later, but a couple of hits before they hung out and ate pancakes would relax them both, and probably make the food taste better. Pancake Palace wasn’t known for being particularly gourmet.

“Not really.” Jade got her second hit, and passed it back.

Tori went to turn off the device. “You’re good?” Jade nodded, so Tori turned it off and tucked it back into her bag. “Let’s go.”

They were seated with coffee and with pancake platters ordered rather quickly. It was the kind of breakfast spot that brought little pitchers of coffee instead of having the servers constantly refilling cups, and there were two on the table, a regular for Jade and a decaf for Tori. Jade had already made fun of the decaf coffee, and Tori let her have her fun for a minute.

But then, it seemed Jade wanted to get down to business. “So,” she said. “Over the past nine days, I’ve been researching your work schedule.” This wasn’t news to Tori, who had been fielding the texts as they’d come through. “Because I realized that your Pleasure Professor workshops don’t quite explain your comment about the contact lenses and Cat’s comment about your multiple costumes. So, from what I’ve been able to discover.” She was tapping away at her phone. “You work any time between 9am and 11pm.”

“Is that a question?” Tori asked, wrapping her hands around her coffee cup and watching Jade, amused.

Jade’s mouth thinned. “Do you work irregular hours?”

“If by that you mean do I work nontraditional hours, the answer is yes.” Tori was willing to help Jade out with this one since she’d done all the research.

Jade sipped her coffee, watching Tori thoughtfully, as if considering the difference between the question she’d asked and the answer Tori gave. “Okay. So some of your work _is_ regular, just...not in the sense of a nine-to-five job?”

“Yes,” Tori replied. It was fun watching Jade work through this. Tori had always enjoyed the times when Jade was playfully intense like this, whether with an acting exercise, or in bed, and this brought some of that to their current friendship, as they were figuring out what that meant. But while Jade was still considering what else she could ask about Tori’s work, Tori asked, “So, I heard you’re staying with your mom.”

Jade rolled her eyes, “Yes, and it’s driving me crazy. My brother moved into my old room, so I have to be upstairs next to her, and I can hear her watching her yoga videos in the morning, and it’s actually impossible for her to leave me alone.”

“I can imagine,” Tori replied sympathetically. She was grateful that Grandma Jean had space for her in her guest house when Tori had moved back to LA, because as much as she loved her parents, living with them again would have been difficult for her, too.

“Let me know if you hear about anyone who has like a room, or something, for rent,” Jade requested, “The sooner I get out of my mom’s house, the better.”

Tori nodded, “I’ll keep my eyes open.”

The server brought their food as they sipped their coffee, Jade already pouring herself a second cup. They’d both ordered pancake platters with eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns, and they were quiet for a moment as they traded off syrup, salt, pepper, and hot sauce to season their meals, and as they began to eat, just quietly grunting in (lightly stoned) acknowledgement for a moment. Yeah, Tori thought she’d made the right call when it came to getting just a little high and eating pancakes.

Finally, though, Tori asked, “Do you have plans for your birthday yet?” Okay, it was barely July, but she was also kind of probing to find out whether Jade would even still be in LA then.

Jade shrugged, “Not yet, why?”

Tori sipped her coffee, “Well, I have appointments booked for that day and I’m working that night, but maybe we could do something on Sunday? I could take you out to dinner?”

“That sounds nice,” Jade agreed.

“Anything different about your diet that I should know about?” Tori asked. She’d seen Jade eat what looked like the regular sorts of things she’d always eaten, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

“Nope, I still eat food,” Jade replied simply before moving straight to, “What do you have to do for work that night?” But Tori just smiled as Jade sighed in frustration. “Are you running a workshop?” she asked.

“No,” Tori replied.

Jade clearly didn’t have any other guesses, because she just ate for a moment, eyeing Tori as if she were hoping Tori would just crack and tell her. And once upon a time, Tori might’ve. But whether Jade believed her or not, Tori really was more chill these days, and she let the silence linger between them.

“My mom says you’re helping her with her website,” Tori broke the silence, finally.

Jade nodded, “Yeah, I’m taking pictures of her product. It can be hard to make food look appealing in photography, but at least she gives me something to work with.” Her face scrunched up, her nose doing a cute thing Tori had seen rarely in the years they’d known each other. “Ew, did you know our moms have an erotic book club together?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Tori sighed, “I gave them some coupon codes for sex toys on the condition they never tell me what they did with them.” Jade made a horrified sound in her throat at this confession, and it made Tori think of something else. She slapped her hand on the table and leaned in close. “Oh god. Do you want to hear something horrifying?”

“You know I live for exactly that. What?” Jade leaned in, too, eyes gleaming eagerly.

“My parents are _swingers_ ,” Tori hissed.

Jade actually grinned, “Oh, yeah, I know.”

“ _What_?!”

“Trina told me. We got _really_ high on your mom’s medicated gravy one Thanksgiving a while back. She told me then.”

Tori knew this had to be one of the times after their breakup that she’d been stuck in Canada for the holidays and Jade had spent them with her family. It wasn’t that weird, but something about it made her wistful. “She never even told _me_ that she knew! I found out first!” Tori griped. “I’ve been holding this secret for _years_!”

“Well, she knows. And so do I.” Jade shook her head. “Ugh, that was the year our moms got into the jacuzzi _completely_ naked, too.”

“ _What_?!” Tori uttered in horror again.

“Yeah, it was bad.” A disturbed look crossed Jade’s face, and she met Tori’s eye. “You don’t think…”

“Oh, god. Let’s never talk or think about it again.” She _really_ hoped their parents had never had sex together. She didn’t think she could ever see or speak to any of them again if that were true.

“Good call,” Jade ate a few more bites of pancake as she clearly shook aside the distressing thoughts. Finally, she said, “So, let me ask you this one. Do you know about Sam and Cat’s relationship?”

“Other than that they’re in one? No.”

“Okay, so…they’re not exclusive.” Tori nodded. Cat had implied as much in the past, though she’d never pried about the details. “And Sam says that Cat is really only into being chased around like an animal and that she doesn’t reciprocate in bed, so Sam goes out and has sex with other women to get her needs met. But Cat doesn’t sleep with anyone but Sam.”

Tori nodded thoughtfully. Cat maybe had a bit of a primal kink, and was maybe somewhere on the asexual spectrum. “So, they have a one-sided open relationship?”

“I guess. But it gets weirder. Sometimes Sam brings the women home, and Cat watches.”

Tori blinked. “That’s...unexpected.” Okay, add voyeurism to Cat’s sexual map.

“Have you ever heard of anything like this?” Jade wondered.

Tori shrugged, “Not... _exactly_ like that, but human sexuality comes in all sorts of varieties. Sounds like they figured out what works for them.” She studied Jade, wondering if she was bothered or disturbed by what she’d learned, but she didn’t look it.

“I always wondered what their deal was, and I never asked. Kinda might regret asking,” Jade said. Tori must’ve had some sort of reaction on her face, because Jade said, “Only because I know them so well, it’s weird to know what goes on in their bedroom. I’m not judging. Like, good for them.”

Tori understood that. She wondered if it was weird that she and Jade had a pretty good idea of what the other got up to in bed. But then, they were exes. The rules were different when you were befriending an ex, right?

-

Jade was doing her best to keep busy, so that she had reasons to not just sit in the guest room in her mother’s house. She was taking the jobs she could find, and she was also visiting friends, trying to do things that didn’t involve spending a lot of money. Sam was always down for a motorcycle ride to the beach, whether or not Jade was carrying any weed. Holly and David generally tried to get her to stay for at least one meal whenever she came over to work with Holly on photography for her website. Even her brother was willing to go catch a movie occasionally, which was a nice surprise. A part of her still saw him as a little kid even though she knew he wasn’t anymore, and his taste in movies had definitely improved since childhood.

And, of course, Jade had made sure to visit Grandma Jean, as soon there was a day that worked for both of them (Grandma Jean apparently still had a pretty active social life, or so she claimed; Jade assumed she was seeing more doctors than gentleman callers, but when she’d jokingly challenged Grandma Jean about it, she’d received a tongue lashing reminding her that Grandma Jean wasn’t even eighty yet).

So Jade had driven out to Elderly Acres for some kind of special event that Grandma Jean had invited her to, though she’d been purposely vague on the details, in one of those moves that absolutely reminded Jade that she and Tori were related.

When she arrived, Grandma Jean was waiting for her, sitting with a few other elderlies at a table just past the entrance to the retirement community building. She got up slowly when she saw Jade and hobbled over to her. She was using a cane, something she’d hadn’t needed when Jade had seen her last, but the hug she wrapped Jade in was as strong and affectionate as ever.

“Well, aren’t you looking pretty,” Grandma Jean said easily, fingering the ends of one of the color streaks in Jade’s hair, “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Wouldn’t miss it, and I don’t even know what it is,” Jade replied with a grin. “How are you?” They’d kept in touch by phone over the years, but Jade hadn’t seen her in several years, and she seemed noticeably older somehow now.

“Oh,” Grandma Jean scoffed, “I’m as good as ever. They never leave you alone in a place like this, I’m always chasing nurses away. A woman my age deserves a little peace.”

“Now, Jean, they’re just looking out for you,” another familiar voice came from off to the side. Jade turned to see Cat’s Nona, hair still dyed that unnatural shade of red, grinning, “Hello, Jade. Jeanie, I didn’t realize your adopted granddaughter was _this_ Jade!”

“Hi, Nona,” Jade said reluctantly.

“What, you think my granddaughter managed to find _two_ amazing Jades to date her? Of course it was this Jade,” Grandma Jean said scathingly.

“Oh, well I don’t know,” Nona said, “Did I ever tell you about the time I was dating a _very_ handsome news anchor who was dating another woman with my same name at the same time? It took me so long to figure it out.”

Jade eyed Grandma Jean, suppressing a smirk at the roll of her eyes. “ _Yes_ , only about a hundred times.” Her tone shifted abruptly, “Come along, Jade, it’s almost show time.”

Jade followed, matching Grandma Jean’s gradual pace, “Show time?” she questioned.

Grandma Jean flashed her a grin, “The Elderly Acres Horror Club! We watch a movie every two weeks. I’ve been fighting tooth and nail to get this to be a regularly approved event so I don’t keep having to let a bunch of old folks into my apartment. No one respects anyone’s space around here. But now, we’re able to host it in the rec room, as long as a nurse stands by in case of cardiac emergencies.” Grandma Jean rolled her eyes, “I keep telling people, if they can’t handle it, don’t attend.”

“ _Have_ there been any heart attacks?” Jade asked, half concerned and half fascinated.

“Of course not,” Grandma Jean scoffed, “People just always underestimate what seniors can handle. We’ve seen a lot of shit, you know.”

Jade laughed, “Oh, I know.”

And that was how Jade ended up watching the original _Night of the Living Dead_ with a group of elderlies at a retirement home, with Grandma Jean hissing at Nona to be quiet every fifteen minutes or so. It wasn’t the most ideal cinematic experience, but it had been fun, and Jade fully intended to attend every Elderly Acres Horror Club meeting that she could. Which was good, because Grandma Jean was already asking what she had in her collection so that they could watch something new.

Jade had been back in LA for about a month when she finally got what sounded like a corporate client via her website. Up until then, it had been mostly requests from actors for headshot sessions (which were acceptable bread and butter jobs, but they were boring). But if she really wanted to move out of her mother’s house (who was she kidding, that was _priority_ ), she needed to book bigger events. She’d already started daydreaming about moving into her own place, something she hadn’t had since she’d first moved to New York, right after college and that had only lasted a little over a year. After poking around on SplashFace Local: The World’s Digital Yard Sale, she’d estimated what she could afford in cool second-hand furniture she could use to furnish at least a small apartment. There was a dining room set she could never afford otherwise, an armchair that would look killer once it was reupholstered, and even a “artisan spanking bench” that was apparently free if you were willing to come pick it up (which she definitely didn’t need or even want, but god bless Los Angeles).

Headshot sessions were enough to cover her living expenses, but if she really wanted to put a security deposit and first month’s rent down anywhere in Los Angeles county, she needed some larger clients. The email address listed with the request wasn't from a company she'd heard of but when she searched the domain (privateevents.com), it looked like a pretty straightforward event hosting facility. Sometimes, venues would hire her to photograph events they were hosting as part of a package deal. Which was fine with her as long as they paid her rate. The body of the message was shaped around the types of work she offered on the website. Whatever the client checked off ended up in the message, along with any added notes. In this case, she was looking at a message that said:

**Event Date:**

**07/26/2025**

**Event Time:**

**08:00PM**

**Services requested:**

**Videography**

**Still photography**

**Event type:**

**Formal cocktail party**

**Other**

**Additional notes:**

**Ms. West, would like to discuss event details further, as this is a non-traditional gathering that requires discretion**

Jade's first thought was that this was Los Angeles and this could literally mean anything. It could be something high profile. It could be some rich Beverly Hills kid's twelfth birthday party. It could be someone trying to go meta with their found footage horror film. She really had no idea, but she figured it was at least worth it to contact the potential client to find out more. After a brief email exchange, she'd set up a meeting at the Jet Brew close to her former high school. She liked picking coffee shops for client meetings because it kept things casual, but it also meant she could leave at any time if someone ever seemed like a creep.

The guy she was meeting, Nathaniel, wasn't creepy, at all. He was kind of boring, but nice. A clean-cut, shortish guy in a polo shirt and sport coat. He seemed to be drinking his coffee black, which Jade respected. After a brief exchange of introductions and niceties, he cut to the chase.

"Well, Ms. West, this event serves as the annual gala for the local BDSM community. You know the Met Ball?" Jade nodded, of course she did. "This is the Fet Ball. Everyone puts on their fanciest gear and...well, the rest is where the discretion comes in. Now, I know you're probably wondering just what the job would entail and it's certainly not any of the private activities of the evening." That was...a relief. "This event is also when potential new members are introduced to the scene, kind of an open house, if you will. The first hour or so is very much like a regular high-end mixer with a few guest speakers and presentations. Those are the things we'd like recorded and photographed, for promotional purposes."

So, basically, this was a standard gig, just for kinky people. Jade could work with that. "This is why I assume discretion is a big concern."

"Yes, your contract with us would be contingent on you signing an NDA. We're also willing to pay double your listed rates."

That was interesting. "Why?"

"Because you're good," Nathaniel said, bluntly. "You don't take flat, boring photos. You're an artist. It's evident in your portfolio and it was evident in your film," he leaned in, "which I saw at Sundance."

Apparently, Nathaniel was a fan. If he was going for flattery, it was working.

As the meeting came to a close, Jade had agreed to digitally capture the event at twice her usual rates. She would be welcome to attend the remainder of the event, if she was interested (she was certainly curious, already wondering how much she could file away for future storytelling), as long as she adhered to the rules outlined in the contract she’d be presented with before entry.

It was certainly a helluva way to spend her thirty-first birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Out of the Woods_ by Taylor Swift. 
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> They were quiet for a moment as they dug into the appetizer platter, other than to compliment the food and urge each other to try things. Just when Tori piled a bunch of guacamole and salsa onto a triangle of quesadilla and barely got it into her mouth without making a mess, a young woman approached their table.
> 
> “Sorry, are you...Tori Vega?” she asked.
> 
> Tori’s eyes widened and she tried to chew quickly. Next to her, Jade chuckled, “Yeah, she is,” she drawled, as Tori smiled with her mouth full.
> 
> “Oh my god, I _knew_ it!” the woman said, “I tried to get my waitress to find out, but she didn’t think it could be you.” Now Tori knew why the waitress had been scrutinizing her. Maybe she was just trying to preserve Tori’s privacy. “I can’t believe I’m meeting Tori Vega in Casa Vega.” Her eyes widened comically, “Wait, does your _family_ own this place?”
> 
> Tori had finished swallowing her bite, “No, no relation,” she told the woman. “It’s nice to meet you.” She offered a hand to shake, keenly aware that she was meeting a fan while stoned as fuck.
> 
> “Oh my god I’m such a huge _Whisper Creek_ fan! You and Addison Cole were so _phenomenal_ on that show, and I’m so grateful you fought so hard for that movie. Your kissing scene was just perfect.”
> 
> Tori gave her a well-practiced smile, “Thank you so much. It was really important to us, too.”
> 
> The woman shot a glance at Jade, seeming uncomfortable suddenly, “I, uh, sorry for bringing up Addison Cole,” she said to Tori, then turned her attention to Jade, “Are you...someone?”
> 
> “That’s Jade West,” Tori answered, as Jade was currently chewing. “She’s a director.”
> 
> Jade swallowed. “I’m Tori Vega’s _friend_ ,” she elaborated, clearly hoping to avoid any further scrutiny.
> 
> “Oh, okay. Nice to meet you, too. And _thank you_ , Tori Vega. Oh god. Can you sign my receipt?” She fumbled in her purse for a pen.
> 
> “Of course,” Tori said graciously, remembering being a teenager and asking Weird Al Yankovic to do something very similar. Though really, all she wanted was to dive back into those black bean taquitos before Jade ate them all.


	6. Three: I make the governor, call me the governor, I am the bad bitch, the bitch that you'll never know

Jade’s birthday began with a text from Tori.

When Jade had turned eighteen and twenty-one, it was something she’d teased Tori about, endlessly, poking fun at her for the nine month lead she had on buying lottery tickets and booze. But now that they’d passed the major milestones of youth, it seemed Tori wasn’t shy about flipping the script on her. Also, what even was this personalized meme? What a nerd.

**Gee, thanks.**

**😜**

Jade had allowed her mother to take her to lunch on her birthday and, to be honest, it was actually fun. They’d also invited Holly along and the two older women managed to not talk about their _Women Over Forty Erotic Book Club_ at all. She’d asked Tori if she wanted to join them for lunch, but Saturdays were evidently busy work days for her and she was apparently booked solid. Jade still had no idea what Tori was doing other than her Pleasure Professor video series and workshops. All of her probing had only resulted in more questions than answers. Maybe she could drag a little more out of her during dinner tomorrow night.

After lunch, she spent the afternoon checking all her camera gear, making sure the necessary batteries and memory cards were accounted for. The contract she’d reviewed and agreed to for the event had her duties broken up between videography and still photos at different times. Jade would be allowed access to the venue an hour early to set up in a designated area, then would move around the space, photographing guests in the space until it was time for the presentations, which she was to record. It seemed simple enough, especially for the money they were paying. And, honestly, she was terribly curious to see what the night would be like. Nathaniel had assured her that any “play” would occur after the cameras were off and that, other than non-traditional options in wardrobe, it would be the same as any other event. She’d strongly been considering the additional detail that she was welcome to stick around for the remainder of the event. It wasn’t like she had other plans, anyway.

There hadn’t been specific instructions on any kind of dress code other than the simple masquerade-style mask she’d been issued (when presented with the options, she’d chosen a deep wine red that matched her Doc Martens) that covered the upper half of her face. She knew it was technically upscale, but she was already mentally counting the pairs of leather chaps she was about to see tonight, so she wasn’t even sure what that meant. Black was always foolproof when it came to dressing up, and she had plenty of it, so she dug into her closet for pants and a long-sleeved top to pair with the mask and the boots. Once she had her hair up in a clean, tight ponytail (she didn’t need to be fighting her hair while she was shooting) she tried on the mask with the rest of her outfit. Yeah, sure, that looked like someone who was about to go to a BDSM party, why not?

The address she’d been given took her to an older venue in Westlake, a part of town she hadn’t really spent much time in now that she’d been back, but it was also where UCLA was located, so there were more than a few memories that surfaced as Jade navigated to the event. Her parking was included in her contract and there was even someone waiting to assist her with her camera gear. She could get used to this kind of treatment.

The exterior of the building was fairly innocuous, but once she was inside, it was a different world of exposed brick walls, ornate mirrors, and Victorian furniture. There was also colorful LED lighting worked around and through all the decor, so the classic elements also felt distinctly modern. She wondered how much of that was the event itself versus the regular look of the venue, because she really liked it and, if she could get her shit together, maybe she could film something here.

Jade selected a corner of the space to set up her tripod, giving her a clean angle on the stage, then selected a lens for her DSLR that made the most sense for the size of the space. It only took about twenty minutes to prep everything, so she casually examined the rest of the venue while it was still empty of guests, watching the catering staff set up chafing dishes and the bartender align all the non-alcoholic offerings up on the bartop. Jade understood the importance of sobriety at an event like this but it did make her wonder just how people loosened up. She’d had to go to a dry wedding with Beck once for one of his cousins and she’d never seen people look more miserable than they had at that reception.

In the entryway, just off the main hall, they’d set up a step-and-repeat backdrop that gave Jade flashbacks to her year on the red carpet with Lana. The event had hired a second photographer to strictly take the red carpet photos and Jade was glad someone else was handling it, because it seemed like the most boring job to stand there and take the same picture, over and over again. Already, she was getting ideas for angles, wondering what might be safe to climb up on for wider shots. She spotted Nathaniel speaking to the catering chef and made her way over to him, waiting for him to finish his conversation.

He definitely wasn’t dressed the same as he had been when she’d met him for coffee. If she’d been asked to close her eyes and imagine what a stereotypical gay submissive bottom might look like, it was exactly what Nathaniel was wearing: a black leather harness, chaps, and even a biker’s cap. Well, there was something to be said for the classics. And he wore it well.

She’d just begun to ask him for some clarification when someone else called for him from the other room.

“Uh, let me grab another board member. Oh!” Nathaniel waved at someone behind Jade, and called to them. “Patrice! This is Jade, our event photographer for tonight,” he said, before quickly moving on to handle whatever item needed this attention. Already Jade was turning because what were the odds that it was--

Oh, shit. It was absolutely _Patrice_. She was unmasked, but Jade was masked and she wondered if she recognized her. “Jade,” Patrice said, smiling warmly at her. “It’s so good to see you.” Okay, yeah, she definitely did.

“Hey,” this was unexpected, but Jade was working and she carried on as a professional. “I was just trying to get some clarification on which spaces I can and can’t go into.”

“Pretty much anywhere that’s not a staging area and those are marked with…” Patrice turned and indicated to one of the doors that had a small striped sign stuck to it, “those blue and black BDSM flags.” Jade half-expected her to offer a pamphlet that explained the origin of the BDSM flag to her, but she just confirmed there were no other questions, then excused herself. Though she did say, “I hope you enjoy the evening,” before disappearing to handle her last-minute board member business.

The energy of everything reminded her of being on set and she actively had to remind herself that she was just there to shoot pictures, but that director’s sense of wanting to keep things moving smoothly was difficult to shake. Jade busied herself with taking a few test shots of the catering staff to check the lighting and her camera settings.

Soon, people began to arrive, some dressed in more traditional formalwear (though there was still plenty of leather, or maybe vegan leather), others in more obvious fetish gear (harnesses, corsets, animal ears), though everyone was masked in either full or half face masquerade masks. The guests filtered in, passing through the photo line and into the event space, though Jade wanted to wait for things to fill up more before really starting in on the pictures. At least it would be fairly easy to find variety tonight, some of the costumes were incredibly elaborate.

There was some buzz around her about “the Mistress” who had just arrived and people who were already in the main room were gravitating back out toward the entry hall. Well, this sounded interesting. Even though there was already someone assigned to photograph the red carpet, Jade wanted to capture the reactions of the guests, who were clearly delighted over the arrival of this Mistress person. Up against the backdrop of the event banner was a fully masked woman in knee-high black boots, tight black tuxedo pants with a hot pink satin seam up the side that coordinated with the jacket of the same style. There was no bow-tie to accompany the tuxedo, because she wore a black corset accented with the same bright pink color under the jacket. People were falling over themselves to get a photo with her and Jade was loving the commotion of it all.

At one point, the Mistress unbuttoned her tuxedo jacket and casually handed it off to a waiting...slave, Jade assumed...before placing her boot on the chest of the individual who was sprawled in front of her. But Jade’s attention wasn’t on the boot, it was on the inked arm of the Mistress. There was a very clear tattoo of a compass spanning her left inner forearm. But there was no way. There was _no way_ that was _Tori_. This woman had bangs and Tori definitely didn’t...at least not the last time she saw her. And the tattoo...it was possible for two people to have the same tattoo, especially something like a compass. She’d met other people with nautical stars like her own in almost the exact same place on their arm. Some themes meant things to a lot of different people.

But then the Mistress turned, just right, and Jade clearly saw the black ink on her upper right shoulder.

The moustache.

Okay, one tattoo was coincidence, but two?

The Mistress was _absolutely_ Tori.

Jade pulled back from the action, wanting to keep herself out of Tori’s sight, at least until she figured out what all this meant. Not so much that Tori was here, but she’d definitely kept this a secret. Maybe she didn’t want Jade to know about this part of her life. Privacy and discretion were a very big deal in regard to this event. Then again, Patrice knew she was here and she was apparently still pals with Tori. Well, then Patrice could tell her, if she wanted. Jade would just keep doing her job. She was glad she’d at least chosen a shirt with sleeves so her own tattoos were out of sight. Not that Tori probably wouldn’t recognize her from a million miles away in her red boots. That’s okay, she’d just have to keep moving.

Whatever happened, happened.

It was fairly easy to avoid Tori, given that there was constantly a small entourage around her. Jade hung back, out of the way, searching for the shots she wanted, marveling at how much she truly loved the ambiance of the space. After about an hour, she was signaled that the presentation section was about to begin, so that meant it was time to switch to videography. She returned to her setup in the corner and framed up the stage on her video camera’s viewscreen. From her position in the corner of the room, she was still able to snap still pictures of the guests with her DSLR at the same time, once she switched to a longer lens. People began to take the stage and talk about the purpose of their organization, then began to introduce their board members (including Patrice, and wow, now Jade had the knowledge that Patrice Kline: Sex educator was also a top, good to know). Nathaniel was right, other than the outrageous outfits some people wore, this really felt like a ton of other events she’d worked in the past.

Until the final board member was called to the stage.

“Now, she may not need an introduction in this room, but let’s please welcome, to the stage, you know her as The _Fun_ Dominatrix...” Oh god, Jade could sense it. It was going to be Tori. He was about to say _Mistress Tori Vega_. “Mistress Tawny Swain, everybody!”

And, yes, Tori bounded up onto the stage, her mask now removed like the rest of the board members. The mic was handed off to her and she addressed the crowd in front of her. “Is everyone here ready to have fun tonight?” The crowd responded, but it was sloppy. Tori’s demeanor shifted, her feet planted more firmly as she eyed the small sea of people that filled the event hall. “I said,” this time, her words were measured, “is everyone here ready to _have fun_ tonight?” Almost in unison, everyone replied with a clear, “Yes, Ma’am.”

 _Holy shit_. Jade wasn’t even sure what she was witnessing or why Tori was using the name Tawny (oh my god, Jade was going to lose her mind) Swain (and she always knew Nancy was a top, but this was going a little too far), but it was fascinating. She kept herself tucked away behind her tripod, watching Tori on the small screen.

Tori was pleased with the response from the audience and said so, “That was so good!”

Several people around Jade called back, “Thank you, Mistress!”

Again, Tori removed her jacket just like she had at the step and repeat setup, handing it off without looking, this time to Nathaniel. “Since you’ve all behaved yourselves...so far…” the room tittered, “we’ve put together something to kick off the rest of the evening. Some of you are new to the community or maybe you’re just considering if it’s for you, but in either case, there’s something that’s very important to remember.”

Music began to play and...oh, Jade totally recognized that posturing, even after a decade. Tori was about to sing. The melody sounded familiar, like Jade had heard it before, but the lyrics Tori was singing were about...bad bondage gear? Wait, yeah, this was a song Tori had written in high school, maybe the one she sang on that guy’s talk show? It had been a long time, but Jade definitely listened to Tori’s songs a lot when she’d first moved to Canada and the more she heard of this live version, the more the original came back to her. Whatever the case, the crowd _loved it_.

Jade was still reeling from the reveal and then the musical interlude when Nathaniel indicated it was time to change her setup. She was supposed to record some interviews with the board members against the backdrop of the party. Quickly she flipped on the bright ring light she used for this type of situation and, one by one, the board members stepped over and were asked a few questions by a beautiful woman in a latex bodysuit. If Jade stayed behind her camera, she knew it was impossible for anyone to even see her face when the light was on, even if she wasn’t masked, so she did just that, waiting for the moment that Tori...er, Mistress Tawny was called over to record her segment.

It finally happened and Jade watched as she closed in, but the woman with the questions began the interview before Tori was framed up properly and Jade, in work mode, immediately heard herself say, “I’m going to have to ask the Mistress to move a little more into the light, please?”

“What was that?” Tori or The Mistress or Tawny Swain or whoever the persona was being interviewed asked.

Jade couldn’t help feeling like she was in trouble. “I’m going to have to ask the Mistress to move a little more into the light, please... _Ma’am_?”

Tori's eyes snapped toward the voice behind the camera and Jade watched as that gaze pushed down toward her feet, to where those well-worn but well-kept Doc Martens were.

Aw, shit. She’d been found out.

-

The truth was, Tori hadn’t really _heard_ what the photographer had said, but she’d immediately picked up on the quality of the voice. That, paired with the specific way Jade West laced her combat boots (and that they were _those_ red Docs) was a dead giveaway that her ex-girlfriend was behind the camera. But she wasn’t there to talk about herself, she was there to talk about Mistress Tawny’s position on the board. Which she did. She managed to maintain her focus through the interview, but the second it was over, she was reaching for Jade’s wrist, hand wrapping around it, and saying, “I need to have a quick chat with the photographer,” before dragging Jade into a nearby staging area.

As soon as the door was shut behind them, Tori glanced around the space, which was a small office which didn’t actually look like it was being used for much other than storing flats of bottled water for the evening. Good, that meant they weren’t likely to be interrupted. Jade leaned against the wall, watching her, and Tori took the opportunity to center herself. She’d been caught off guard, but she was a professional, she’d not only been attending these events for years as Mistress Tawny, but she was also a UCLA trained (well, partially) performer. She knew how to keep her shit together.

Anyway, this was _Jade_.

Okay, the fact that it was Jade was part of why she needed to clarify something. Tori willed any sense of feeling shaken away and stepped right up to where Jade was leaning, placing one hand on the wall next to her head.

“There’s not really time to get into it, right now,” Tori did want to be clear that she was willing to talk about this, just later, “so I need you to understand one thing. While you’re here, I’m to be addressed as _Mistress_ , _Mistress Tawny_ , or _Ma’am_.”

The amused glimmer in Jade’s eye didn’t give Tori any faith that she’d truly been heard. But then Jade said, “I get it.”

Tori waited for Jade to finish her sentence, but there wasn’t any final acknowledgement of the Mistress (and she knew Jade did understand that nature of respecting Tori’s title, as she’d referred to her appropriately when talking about the lighting before the interview), so she leaned closer, still not making actual contact, but just barely. She forced herself to ignore Jade’s perfume as she spoke in the low, measured tone she used when she wanted results. “I don’t think you _do_ understand. Or would you like to try that, again?”

This time, with the way Jade released a shuddering breath, Tori felt confident that she’d had her point. “I understand... _Ma’am_.” She hadn’t expected Jade to use the full Mistress Tawny title (later, she’d allow herself to dread that conversation), and that was fine.

“Good,” Tori purred. Still braced against the wall but leaning back enough to make eye contact, she fished one of her business cards out of her pocket (this was a networking mixer on top of everything else), then gently dragged it up the length of Jade’s torso before placing it between her lightly parted lips. “See you out there,” she said, pushing herself off and exiting the room.

-

Jade...needed a minute.

But not too long, because she was still supposed to shoot one more round of photos before it was time for the cameras to be removed from the event (which was apparently when the real fun began). She took a moment to just breathe and process what had _just happened_. I mean, really, this explained a lot about the night of the reunion with the way Tori just...topped her? Okay, she could unpack all this later. She looked over the card she’d been...handed. It was all black with white lettering that said _Mistress Tawny Swain_ , then below in pink, it read _The FUN Dominatrix_.

This was a lot to take in.

Jade casually slipped back into the party space, moving toward her camera gear to pick up her DSLR. At least now she didn't have to worry about keeping out of Tori's sight. Or Mistress Tawny's sight. Whoever.

She snapped pictures until Patrice finally caught up with her and let her know they were about to shift the events of the evening. Jade wondered why Patrice was still Patrice but Tori had this whole other persona. Though, from what she could tell, Patrice, while a _top_ , seemingly wasn’t specifically a dominatrix, fun or otherwise.

As she carried her equipment back out to her car, Jade deeply considered the offer to stay and observe the rest of the event. Curiosity didn't even cover the sensation that was internally tugging at her. She not only wanted to know what Tori was up to, she wanted to know more about the Fet Ball, in general. It wasn't like she wanted to participate, but she wanted to see what the point was of all the costumes and role playing, because she could kind of understand it, but she also just didn't really get it.

Once all of her stuff was secured in her car (which, by the way, apparently Jeremy had gotten the back door repaired, something she realized when she went out to the car one night without her keys and had to go all the way back into the house when she realized she was locked out), she turned back around and reentered the building, letting Nathaniel know she'd be staying a bit longer.

Back in the main room, some people had removed their masks (now that the cameras were gone, that made sense) but many still wore them. Jade decided to leave hers on, for now. She hung back, just watching, having been assured that it was totally acceptable. Observing while staying out of the way was something that came naturally to her; it had to, with the nature of her style of photography and it was a definite asset when it came to storytelling. After looking out across the room, she realized masks weren't the only things coming off. Breasts that had been covered before were now bare and it seemed that some people had also removed their pants in lieu of hot pants and jockstraps.

While it was a little unexpected to Jade, if only because it felt like she had literally just walked outside and then back in to find things had dramatically shifted, she could sense the overall tone of acceptance and inclusiveness that permeated the place. Maybe she didn't understand the person with the pony plume attached to their head, but she definitely understood the idea of wanting to be somewhere you could be yourself. It reminded her a lot of high school, in a way. When she’d started attending Hollywood Arts, she was suddenly surrounded by other artists, people who had dreams to achieve and stories to tell, both things her father thought were frivolous wastes of time. But Jade had felt both accepted and validated, especially the first time she set foot in Sikowitz’s classroom and he had them all immediately improvise that they were melting ice cream cones on a hot sidewalk

So, yeah, Jade could totally vibe with the concept of finding “your people.”

"Looks like you decided to stick around," came Tori's voice from beside her.

Jade glanced over and nodded. "Gotta say, you definitely piqued my interest." Shit, she was supposed to address Tori as, "Ma'am."

There was an amused twitch on Tori's lips. "Did you want to keep wall-flowering like a voyeur or do you want to mingle?"

"I wasn't--"

Tori put a hand up. "Voyeurism is completely acceptable, I'm just asking."

Okay, this was tough, because Jade wanted to ask questions, but she wanted to ask _Tori_ , not Mistress Tawny. Still, Jade was willing to play by the house rules. "Um, so, Mistress...If I wanted to mingle, can I have some kind of, you know, character? Or persona or whatever."

"Sure," Tori shrugged. "Whatever you want."

That didn't help. Jade was on the spot and she didn't want to pick something terrible or accidentally offensive or something. "Can you just choose for me?" Tori's eyebrow raised. "Ma'am?"

Tori regarded her a moment before a very, _very_ familiar smirk splayed across her lips. "Fine. You're a sweet Alabama farm girl who never has anything mean to say about anyone."

Jade felt the words _Oh, fuck right off with that_ forming on her tongue, but she held back and took a deep, long breath. "Okay," she said, dragging a smile across her face. She'd asked for it, so she'd have to live with it. But now she had a character to play so it gave her something to focus on.

She realized she was probably supposed to follow up everything she said with Ma'am or Mistress, but Tori either missed it or was going easy on her, because she didn't press Jade for it. "I'm about to do a small group demonstration, would you like to assist?"

Jade desperately wanted to know what Tori got up to at an event like this so she was quick to say, "Absolutely." Then, "Yes, Ma'am."

They moved to another area of the space and Tori, well, Mistress Tawny, addressed the group that surrounded them. She instructed Jade to stand in a particular spot and when she began to ask for a volunteer, Jade realized she'd been planted.

"You, there," she said, pointing to Jade. "What's your name?"

Aaaand, now this was actually happening. Jade pulled up the damn accent, one she hadn't done in years, that probably sounded fake as hell. "Betty Sue Goldenheart, Ma'am."

Tori waved her over and Jade moved past the couple of people who were in front of her, one of whom seemed especially jealous that Jade, or Betty Sue, had been selected. "Do I have your consent to bind your wrists and move your body as needed for this demonstration?"

She searched Tori's eyes, assuming she was meant to agree. "Sure." Dammit. "Yes, Ma'am."

Tori gently grabbed both of Jade's wrists and brought her arms up, just above the height of her waist, palms facing each other, a couple inches between each arm. "I'm sure some of you are already familiar with the Lark's Head Double Column, but it's always important to stay fresh." She carefully, but quickly, looped a rope around both wrists, wrapping it around a couple of times, then binding the rope together to itself in the space between. As Tori maneuvered the rope, her fingers were constantly tugging and pulling at various points, checking the tension. Finally, she was done, Jade's wrists bound together with a two foot lead of rope trailing off into the grip of Tori's hand. "How does that feel, Betty Sue?"

Jade flexed her fingers and assessed the sensation. She certainly felt restrained (that was the point, right?) but it was as comfortable as it could be, she assumed. "It feels good." Immediately, as she watched Tori's hand adjust the grip on the end of the rope, Jade added, "Ma'am."

Tori's face was fairly stoic, but Jade recognized the way her eyes smiled at her. _Approval_. Okay. Yeah, she liked that. She could play this game for a while.

After completing the rope demonstration, Jade assumed that meant Tori would untie her, but instead they were now cutting across the room, Tori guiding with the rope-lead attached to Jade's wrists. They stopped in front of the catering spread. Jade wasn't hungry but she could certainly go for--

"Coffee?" Tori asked.

Was she a psychic now, too? "Why I'd love that, Ma'am," Jade replied in her Betty Sue voice. She could swear Tori had just tried not to laugh.

She watched as Tori poured a cup, stirring in just one sugar packet. So she had been paying attention when they'd been out for coffee. Somehow that made Jade feel warm. Or maybe it was the fact that she was tied up and being paraded around by The Mistress, something that seemed to be a coveted position around here, if the handful of jealous glares she'd noticed were any indication.

"Careful, it's pretty hot," Tori said, placing the cup in Jade's waiting hands. "Though, look who I'm talking to." Jade had to drink holding the coffee in both hands, given her situation, but it was damn good (and the perfect temperature, thank you...Ma'am).

There was some kind of commotion from the other side of the room and a ripple moved through the crowd until everyone was looking at Tori. Mistress Tawny. Fuck, Jade was never going to get then hang of this.

"I'll be right back." Tori said. Nathaniel happened to be right next to them and she handed off the rope to him. "Hold this for me," she instructed.

"Of course, Mistress," he said, easily.

Tori weaved through the crowd to the other side of the space, disappearing from Jade's view.

"What's happening?" Jade asked.

"Oh, it's Mistress Deidre. They have a rivalry," Nathaniel explained.

"Like they're going to fight?" Jade asked, craning her neck to try and see beyond the crowd, but it was pointless. There was some kind of music playing that seemed to correspond with whatever was happening.

He laughed. "No, it's all in fun." Jade wondered just what kind of _fun_ he meant. "Are you having a good time?" he asked.

"I'm...yeah." She was, actually. "I'm learning a few things."

"Oh, honey. Things haven't even gotten started, yet."

Jade certainly hadn't assumed she'd seen close to all of what the event had to offer, but the way he'd just said that made her a little light-headed with the barrage of potential ideas that ran through her mind. Before she could get too bogged down in it, Tori was back and pulling the near-empty coffee cup out of her hands and passing it to Nathaniel, who promptly walked it over to a nearby trash can.

" _Hey_ \--" she began, before she remembered that she was both at the mercy of the Mistress and also that she was still supposed to be Betty Sue.

Gently, Tori began to untie the knot and unwind the rope. "I didn't mean to go off and leave you like this," she said.

Once the rope was removed, she took Jade's left hand and began to massage it, not unlike the hand massages they used to give each other, way back when. She switched to Jade's right hand, doing the same, drudging up another wave of nostalgia. There was an intimacy to it she wasn't expecting and it left her feeling vulnerable in the room full of strangers. As Tori finally released her, Jade was slightly unsteady on her feet.

"You okay?" Tori asked, quietly.

Jade nodded. "I should probably get home and start sorting my images," she said. Mostly, she was disappointed in herself for allowing something as innocent as a hand massage to be the thing that threw her off her game at a literal fetish party. "Thank you for the demonstration, Ma'am," she added, still giving the Betty Sue performance. She wanted Tori to know she took this seriously, for Tori’s sake, even if Jade was tapping out.

"Goodnight, Betty Sue. You did great," Tori said. Or Mistress Tawny.

Jade walked to her car, trying to wrap her head around everything that had just happened, but it felt like what she needed was a good night's sleep. She could deal with this in the morning.

-

Tori had been surprised to encounter Jade at the event, but she wasn’t sure if she was more shocked by seeing her there as the photographer or as an observer.

Her professional presence at least made logical sense, even if Tori wasn't sure how the odds had worked out that way. Seriously, in a city dedicated to cinema, there were likely thousands of capable candidates. But somehow, someone had hired Jade? At least she knew the pictures would look great.

But seeing Jade there, without her camera, just hanging back, taking in the room. That was unexpected. Though, Tori did consider the fact that Jade was constantly fascinated by things beyond the mainstream and that was certainly what this event was about. And she'd been a good sport when Tori asked her to participate. So, maybe it wasn't _that_ unusual.

There hadn't been much time to reflect on Jade's departure from the party when it happened, but a few hours later, as Tori drove home (there will still plenty of members playing when she left, but she'd fulfilled both her obligations as a board member and her desire to participate as much as she'd liked), she considered the abrupt nature of it. It wasn't unlike Jade to bail if things were uncomfortable, but it hadn't seemed like that was the case. Or at least it didn’t seem like something as simple as Jade being weirded out by the event itself.

Though...okay...if Tori really wanted to be honest with herself, she'd picked up on something during the hand massage. It was a common bit of aftercare she provided after bondage, but it usually didn't carry with it the kind of history it did between herself and Jade. Which, how ridiculous was that? She drove Jade away from a BDSM party with a damn hand massage?

 _Great work, Tori_.

Or maybe she was overthinking it. One of the reasons she hadn't outright talked to Jade about this part of her life was because she had no idea how Jade might react. They were working on being friends and there was already so much they were working past without her kinky dominatrix persona getting in the way. At least Jade had quickly dialed in to how to address her at the party, even if it did seem like she kept remembering at the last minute.

She hoped they could talk about it more because she didn't particularly want to hide anything from Jade. The last month, even with their limited contact, had Tori smiling when her phone buzzed with a text, even when it just asked if she was at work. This re-connection, the one that ironically had been established through a really intense night of breakup sex, seemed to be working. So, if Jade wanted to talk about Mistress Tawny, Tori decided she'd be honest and not play around with the guessing games, this time.

-

When Jade returned to her mom's house, she was pleased to find that her mother was apparently out and Jeremy was holed up in his room, playing video games from the sound of it. She immediately backed all the photos up on her hard drive, then began reviewing the images, separating the ones that weren't the best quality (usually blurred images or photos where people had been captured in an unflattering manner). Damn, that place really photographed well, especially filled with such an eclectic crowd. As she clicked through photo after photo, her mind tried to picture what each person might look like on a regular day. Though, when she landed on a picture of the Mistress gripping someone's chest harness as she glared down at him, she didn't need to guess.

 _How the fuck_ was Tori Vega also Mistress Tawny Swain? Also what was up with the name? That had to be, like, the first thing she asked her tomorrow.

Jade found the card that Tori had stuffed into her mouth (which, holy chiz, had that _actually_ happened?) and flipped it over to the back. A website was listed: theFUNdominatrix.bdsm.

She tapped in the address and there it was in black and white and pink, a description of Mistress Tawny's services (and she’d be lying if she wasn’t relieved to see a very specific clarification that “Mistress Tawny does not provide services that include penetration or direct genital stimulation”). That was something specific Jade was currently grappling with. Tori did this professionally. And, according to the information she was reading, she did this in a place she referred to as The Fungeon. She also apparently took on clients of all genders, except for cis-males (though she did include a referral link to a lengthy list of pro-dommes who did).

There was no physical address listed on the website, but there was a form to submit inquiries. Jade considered if it was even necessary, as they were having dinner the next night. She decided she could wait and see how much Tori was willing to tell her and then, if Jade felt like she needed more answers, maybe she'd try the website. She wondered if Tori answered her own email or if she had some kind of tech team. Based on how popular she was at the event, it seemed like Tori might be a bit of a celebrity within the community.

 _Huh_. Her ex-girlfriend was a kind of famous dominatrix.

That was certainly something to consider.

She poked around the website a little more, then decided to get ready for bed. Once she was settled back into her room, she sorted through more photos until she decided she was too tired to work. Even though her body was tired, her mind was still reeling from the events of the evening so she checked her social media, replied to a comment from Beck on a Spectrogram post about her morning coffee, then resorted to lazily browsing the internet.

Jade was watching something, maybe some weird video on SplashFace she couldn’t remember pulling up. It seemed like maybe she’d fallen asleep with her computer open and had woken up to whatever autoplay had taken her to, but she didn’t feel like she was in her bedroom. She felt more like she was following the camera. _Weird_. This was some immersive shit. Maybe she was still half-asleep.

She followed the camera as it seemed to hover through the air, moving steadily toward a large upstairs window on a two-story home, the only window lit up in the whole house. And then, as they got closer, Jade realized that she was seeing a couple having sex on the bed in the room.

She blinked. Had she opened SpankSpace at some point? What was happening?

And then, the video cut to inside the room. Inside the _head_ of the woman, because Jade _was_ the woman.

She knew right away what was happening.

She was Nancy Swain. She could see her blonde hair in the corners of her vision, she was wearing her apron, her heels and nothing else.

And she was on top of Walter, who wore only his astronaut’s suit jacket with all the medals, his fluffy dark hair mussed, a grin stretched over his lips beneath his moustache. His dark eyes were Tori’s dark eyes, the skin of his stomach beneath her hands was Tori’s smooth skin, but he didn’t _feel_ like Tori, no, not with the way Nancy was riding him.

Because Jade could absolutely feel that, too. The penetration, and she sighed, head tipping back, lifting her hips and sliding back down, the rhythm sensual, loving, gentle. In that moment, it was as if she both _was_ Nancy, and was outside herself, watching the scene play out, the way Walter gripped her hips just past her apron, the fact that he was wearing socks on his feet. His jacket and Jade’s apron obscured any detail about his chest and genitals, but his hairless legs were Tori’s. Yet she was also sure that they _weren’t_ Tori and Jade playing dress-up. They were Walter and Nancy.

She looked back down at his face. His lips began to go slack, his eyes rolling back in his head.

Nancy knew what to do. Jade drew her hand back, “Walter, wake up!” she screamed, slapping him awake.

Walter jolted awake, hands finding their way back to her hips, “Sorry, Nancy,” he murmured.

“It’s okay,” Nancy replied lovingly, noting the flush of red on his cheek from her slap. She felt her body coiling, as if she were getting close, and she picked up the pace of her hips, riding him harder, her eyes closing.

When she opened them, she realized he was wearing a black leather collar, and his grin was even wider as she took it in. She realized she had a leash looped around one of her wrists, and she lifted her hand to give him a little tug. “Stay with me, Walter!”

“I’m here, Nancy!” he told her, but in that very moment, she saw his expression starting to go slack again, eyes rolling back.

“Walter, wake up!” And Nancy slapped him, then backhanded him, then slapped him again, tugging his leash with her other hand, feeling herself getting closer and closer to orgasm.

Walter’s eyes snapped open. “Blast-off!” he screamed, and Jade realized they were both coming.

But then, she wasn’t Nancy anymore, she was standing beside the bed watching as Nancy started to rise off of Walter’s body, her entire lower body engulfed in flame, and rocketed through the roof and up into the night sky, screaming, “Walter, wake up!” as she disappeared into the heavens.

Jade woke with a jolt, disoriented in her bedroom at her mother’s house. She was used to waking up disoriented, with how many different places she tended to sleep in her life, but this was more intense than that.

 _What_. The _fuck_. Was that dream?

Jade kicked off her sheets, disgusted and irritated to realize she was sweating slightly.

It took forever to fall back to sleep.

-

That afternoon, Tori sent Jade a text so they could start making dinner plans. She had a meeting with the other board members that afternoon to discuss how the Fet Ball had gone, which might run a bit long, so she suggested a later dinner just in case.

**Hey, why don’t you come over to my house first?**

**We can go to dinner from here**

**Maybe at 6:30?**

She figured Jade probably had a lot of questions about last night and it seemed like it might be easier to just handle some of them before they actually were in public. And also, she had a proposition for Jade that would be easier to show her than to tell her about.

**Sure**

**What’s your address?**

Tori wondered if Jade would comment on the address she texted back, but there was nothing forthcoming, until Jade let her know when she was leaving her mother’s house to drive to Tori’s. Tori was ready when she heard the sound of Jade’s car in her driveway, and she opened her front door as Jade came walking up.

Jade raised her eyebrows at her, “You know, I thought there was something familiar about this address when you texted it to me. When I started getting closer, I knew.”

Tori nodded, “Grandma let me live here after she moved to Elderly Acres,” she explained. Her weed vaporizer had warmed up and she took a hit, then offered it to Jade, “Want some?” With everything that had happened last night, she wanted the ease that cannabis provided to smooth over any awkward tension between them.

“What, no weed nerd lecture this time?” Jade teased, but she accepted the vaporizer and took a hit of her own before following Tori into the house. “So it’s still technically Grandma Jean’s house?” she asked as she stepped inside.

“Technically,” Tori confirmed, “She’s kind of let me make it my own, though.” She wondered how well Jade remembered what the house used to look like. Tori had updated a lot of the furniture and had done some remodeling, mostly to expand the kitchen. But the layout of the living room and dining room was largely the same, and the hall back to the master bedroom looked the same, aside from the missing guest bathroom that had been knocked out to expand the kitchen.

“I can see that,” Jade looked around, taking it in. Tori let her for a moment before reaching to loosely grab Jade’s wrist.

“Come on,” Tori said, “I want to show you something.”

Jade chuckled, “Okay, sure,” she said, allowing Tori to guide her to the sliding glass patio door that led to the backyard. Tori opened it, ushering Jade into her backyard under the covered patio, and followed her.

“So, I have this guest house,” she explained, walking toward it.

“Yeah,” Jade drawled, “I’ve kind of been here before.” Well, Tori knew she’d been to her Grandma’s house before so it was helpful when she clarified, “to the guest house.”

Tori glanced at her, “Really?”

“Trina brought me here once when I was too drunk to get home by myself. Long story,” she said, and it was clear she didn’t want to elaborate.

Tori didn’t force her, “Well, it’s empty right now, ever since I moved out of it and into the main house, and I don’t really want to rent it to a stranger because of the...nature of my work,” she said, eyeing Jade to see if she had any reaction but Jade just nodded in understanding. Tori unlocked the door to the guest residence and stepped in, encouraging Jade to follow her. “So, I wanted to offer it to you. I know you’re trying to get out of your mom’s house, and you wouldn’t need to pay me rent, just utilities. The house is paid for, so I don’t really need to make any money renting this place.”

Jade was looking around curiously. It was semi-furnished, with at least a bed, a sofa, and a small TV, as well as a microwave and fridge in the kitchen area, but there was room for Jade to add any personal touches of her own if she chose.

Tori decided to emphasize that perk, “And you can more or less do whatever you want with it when you move in.”

But Jade didn’t comment on that. Instead, she said, “This looks...clean.”

“I may have had it cleaned recently.”

Jade smirked at her, “So how long were you planning to make me this offer?”

Tori shrugged. She had honestly been waiting for Jade to discover Mistress Tawny before she offered her housing, because she didn’t want to put Jade in an awkward position if it turned out she couldn’t be around Tori after finding out this information. But Tori wasn’t about to admit that. “Just waiting for the right time. What do you think?”

“I’ll think about it,” Jade said, still gazing around the space.

Tori nodded. “Okay.” She led Jade back out and locked up the guest house again, then pulled out her vaporizer. “So. What do you say we get stoned and then call a WeDriveU to take us to your birthday dinner?”

Jade cracked a smile, “Sounds good to me.”

Tori let her vaporizer warm up and sat at the picnic table beneath her covered patio in the backyard. She watched Jade. She couldn’t quite tell what Jade was thinking, but she thought she seemed mostly like her normal self. Maybe she wasn’t all that fazed by the discovery of Mistress Tawny.

As Jade settled onto the bench on the other side of the picnic table, Tori took a hit of the vaporizer and passed it to Jade. Jade accepted, and then as she passed it back, abruptly said, “I had the most fucked up dream last night.”

Tori grinned, “Okay, tell me,” she encouraged. Comparing crazy dreams was a comfortable pastime for the two of them. And when Jade had a weird dream, it was _weird_.

“Okay, well, it was basically Walter and Nancy were having sex. And I was Nancy, but like, _not_ , you know?” Tori nodded encouragingly, taking her hit and passing it back. Jade sucked out her own brief puff of weed vapor, and continued, “And Nancy was on top, and Walter kept falling asleep so I’d have to slap him awake, and then next thing I knew, he was wearing one of those bondage collars or whatever you call them, and I was holding a leash, and I kept slapping him and pulling on his leash, and then he screamed, ‘Blast-off!’ And then Nancy like, _literally_ blasted off into the air as they both came.” Jade’s hands flailed with the action she was describing.

“Bud’s burning,” Tori commented, because Jade was just holding the vaporizer as she gesticulated wildly since Tori had passed it back.

Jade rolled her eyes and took a deep inhale, “Is that all you have to say? I mean, I could have had a dream about the Mistress stepping on me, but _no_ , my psyche went to Walter and Nancy.”

Tori smirked as she breathed out a cloud of vapor. “Is that what you want for your birthday?” she asked, “For the Mistress to step on you?”

Jade eyed her, “My birthday was _yesterday_ , and something tells me if I _had_ wanted that, I could’ve gotten it last night.”

“You could’ve,” Tori agreed, “Besides, the Mistress isn’t in right now.”

“Okay, speaking of that,” Jade passed the vaporizer back, “Mistress _Tawny Swain_?”

“Yeah?” Tori said, “You good?” she asked. She was definitely high, like, day off from work, no obligations high. It was time to get their ride on its way. There was usually a car only a couple minutes away from her neighborhood, so she pulled out her phone to bring up the WeDriveU app.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Jade said distractedly. She was leaning forward on the picnic table, as if trying to catch Tori’s eye as she requested their ride. “But, _seriously_ , Tori. Why?”

“Why what?” Tori narrowed her eyes, glancing up at Jade. Their driver was on the way.

“ _Why Mistress Tawny Swain_?”

“Because it has a nice ring to it?”

“You know what I mean!”

Tori sighed. She’d had a feeling this conversation might be coming when she and Jade had become a part of each other’s lives again, but it didn’t mean she was all that keen to have it. “Well, when I chose the name...the last exchange we’d had ended with a fuck you.” She heard Jade shifting in her seat across from her. “And maybe there was a little bit of a fuck you right back at you when I picked it.” She met Jade’s eyes for a moment, seeing the way they blazed bright blue despite looking heavy-lidded and reddish from the weed. “Swain is as much mine as yours,” she said, to which Jade nodded her agreement, “But Tawny,” she shrugged, “I needed a strong name. And it fit. And I knew it would piss you off if you ever found out about it, but I didn’t think I’d end up having to explain it to you as my friend.”

Something in Jade’s expression softed, relaxed, “I guess I deserved that,” she mumbled. But then she was studying Tori’s face, scrutinizing it.

“What?” Tori asked.

“Didn’t you...literally have bangs last night?” Jade asked, perplexed.

Tori smiled, “They’re detachable. Part of the ensemble for the persona,” she explained. And she could see Jade nodding in understanding.

“So it’s kind of like acting?” she suggested.

“Yeah,” Tori agreed, because it was, even if it was also a lot more than that. But the sense that Tawny was a separate part of her, brought out by circumstances and even costume, was very much akin to acting. Of course Jade could make sense of it that way.

“So you have a _bangs wig_ to get you in character?” Jade teased.

“So? You like it better than a moustache,” she challenged, then smirked, “Speaking of Walter and Nancy...did Walter have a penis?”

“I...don’t know?” Jade replied, “I was _trying_ to see, because like sometimes I was in Nancy’s head, and sometimes I was a bystander, but like, Nancy was wearing her apron, and Walter was wearing his suit jacket, so I couldn’t really see anything? But like, of course it _looked_ like us, but it also _wasn’t_ us, because it was definitely not _us_ having sex, it was Walter and Nancy, and I don’t know if Walter had boobs or you had a penis or what was going on!”

“Weird. But you could like...feel it?” Tori wanted to know. How sexual was this dream?

“I mean, _yes_ , penetration was happening but I don’t know with _what_. And then Nancy just blasted off into the heavens.”

Tori smirked, “Maybe Walter’s penis was a _rocket_ ,” she suggested slowly.

Jade’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she stared at Tori for a long moment. “Oh, my god, you’re _right_!” Jade whispered.

A stunned silence fell between them, and then, they were both laughing, uproariously, even to the point of pounding their hands on the picnic table between them as they lost it, laughing until they couldn’t breathe. Tori’s phone chimed with a notification that their driver had arrived, and it took her three attempts to stop laughing as she stood up, trying to tell Jade that their ride was here.

They got into the backseat of their WeDriveU car, and maybe because they were still giggling, the driver didn’t really try to chat much. Tori was in a _good_ high headspace, feeling like she was melting into the upholstery of the car. Jade seemed to be in a similar state, head resting against the seat, but then it lolled toward Tori. “Where are we going, anyway?” she asked.

“Casa Vega,” Tori replied.

Jade’s eyebrows shot up, then furrowed, “Like, your _parents’_ house?” she asked in astonished confusion.

Tori laughed, “No, the Mexican restaurant on Ventura boulevard.”

“Oh,” Jade subsided.

Tori shook her head, “Although when we were kids and would come here, my dad would always make lame jokes to the servers about how we should get a discount because we were Vegas. And then Trina _really_ tried to do it one time by repeatedly showing her school ID.”

“Sounds exactly like something both of them would do,” Jade chuckled, but then her eyes grew dreamy. “Oh man. Enchiladas,” she murmured, appetite clearly whet.

It wasn’t a very long ride to the restaurant, and Tori let herself drift a little, bobbing her head absently to the R&B the driver was playing at a low volume, gazing out the window at the strip malls, billboards, palm trees, and store fronts lit up with neon signs in the the fading evening sunlight. It was almost a surprise when they arrived, and Tori reached into her purse to grab the cash she’d already set aside for the driver’s tip, thanking him, and followed Jade to slide out of her side of the car and into the parking lot of the restaurant. Tori absently pulled up her app to give their driver a good review, following Jade toward the heavy wooden doors of the restaurant. The place was an institution, and still had the classic feel of an older restaurant even with modern upgrades and remodeling.

Casa Vega was fairly busy, but they were seated right away in a circular booth that could have seated more, but still felt intimate as they scooted close enough together so that they could talk. They ordered waters, which were brought almost immediately--Tori was definitely fighting dry mouth--and sat looking at the menu for a moment. They didn’t look for very long, because they both had a pretty clear idea of what they wanted to order at a Mexican restaurant, anyway. Still, Jade scrutinized it and read aloud, “‘Classic Vega Combo.’ ‘Supreme Vega Combo.’ Did you want to come here because everything is named after you?”

“No,” Tori laughed, “I wanted to come here because everything is _good_.” She paused, locating the combos under the appetizer section. “Wait, should we get an appetizer?”

“You just want to order something with your name on it now,” Jade teased, but her eyes drifted back down, “Although those both sound amazing.” Tori decided they were definitely getting appetizers. Jade closed her menu and looked at Tori for a moment, “So. Mistress Tawny Swain,” she mused again.

“Yes?” Tori lifted an eyebrow.

“I checked out your website,” she said. “But I still don’t really get it. And your FAQ did not answer my questions about it.”

Tori tilted her head, watching her, “What questions?”

“Like... _why_. And _how_?”

Tori took a sip from her water as she considered how best to answer the question. “Well, when I moved back to LA, I started assisting Patrice with kink workshops, and I was curious. Eventually, she took me to a play party, and it turned out I kind of have a knack for topping.” Jade chuckled at this, the knowing smile bringing Tori _right_ _back_ to the breakup sex they’d had the month before, the memory still so vivid. “And I really enjoyed it, but then I also wondered about the people who were fulfilled by bottoming, but didn’t have access to play parties, or required something more private. So I did some research, talked to Patrice and some of her friends, and I realized that I could offer my skills to people professionally.”

Jade still scrutinized her with a little frown, “I mean...you’re Tori, though,” she said. Tori blinked at her, waiting for Jade to make her point. “Like...I guess I just don’t really see it…outside of the bedroom, anyway.”

Tori narrowed her eyes. Now Jade was just trying to push her buttons, because she was fairly certain Jade had _seen it_ the night before, even during the simple knots demonstration she’d taken part in. So she asked Jade directly, “Do you trust me?”

Jade balked for a moment, “I--yes.” She had been surprised, but her answer was definitive.

“Okay,” Tori grinned at her, and then the waitress was back, ready to take their order. Tori smiled up at her, “We’d like the Supreme Vega Combo to start. I’d like the Burrito Ranchero, and she’ll take the Uno House Combinaciones with two chicken enchiladas.” She glanced at Jade, whose mouth was parted, and she closed it.

The waitress recited the order back to them, then, “Anything else?” she asked. Her eyes lingered on Tori for a moment. Maybe she recognized Tori. Or maybe Tori just looked _really_ high.

Tori turned to Jade, “Anything else?” she asked.

“Nope,” Jade said, lifting her glass of water and avoiding Tori’s eyes.

The waitress walked away, and immediately, Tori wondered if she’d made a mistake. She remembered Jade always tended to get angry when people made decisions for her, without her input. Maybe she owed Jade an apology for overstepping as she tried to make a point.

She was about to offer one when Jade set her glass of water down very deliberately, “Point taken,” she said, sounding a little dazed.

Tori smirked, “Do you get it now?”

Jade tilted her head, “Okay, I get like... _why_ you’re good at it. I don’t really fully get what people get out of it, but,” she spread her hands, “Maybe I don’t need to get that part.”

“Well, you were certainly curious enough to stay for some of last night,” Tori teased, watching Jade for a reaction. She was pretty sure Jade was flustered by some of this, but maybe she was just uncomfortable.

Jade ignored Tori’s comment about the night before, “So you’re The Pleasure Professor. You’re Mistress Tawny Swain. You do sex education workshops. So _that’s_ your work?”

Tori suppressed a smile. “That’s most of it.”

“There’s _more_?!” Jade groaned. “What else do you _do_?!”

“I’m sorry, was that a yes or no question?” Jade glared daggers at her, so Tori amended, “I’m happy to answer any questions you have about my pro-domme work, but otherwise, you know the rules.”

Jade heaved a huge sigh. But she didn’t say anything for a long moment. So Tori decided to change the subject.

“So, how’s it going with work for you?” she asked. She was curious about this, anyway, and they’d barely had a chance to talk about Jade’s creative pursuits since so much attention was on Tori’s work.

Jade shrugged, “I take a lot of headshots. The Fet Ball was kind of the biggest thing I’ve landed so far, and definitely the most interesting.”

“Do you still write?” Tori asked, tentatively.

Jade snorted, “Of course I still write.”

“I just mean…” Tori trailed off, trying to figure out the least offensive way to ask Jade why she hadn’t made another movie yet. She knew the industry could be a human meat grinder. Oh, boy did she know.

Jade looked away, fingertip tracing patterns on the condensation of her ice water glass. “It’s not easy,” she started, then seemed to change her mind mid-sentence, “Being in that space last night really made me want to make a film. Like, even before it filled up with kinksters and freaks.” She paused, “Is it okay for me to say that? I mean, it’s how Patrice greeted everyone when she kicked off the event.”

Tori laughed, “You participated, so I think it’s fine.”

Jade nodded. “Okay. But yeah, I still _think_ as a filmmaker, like, all the time. So it’s not that I don’t _want_ to make another film, it’s just…”

“Not easy,” Tori echoed, nodding in understanding.

Jade smiled slightly, “I think you’ll all be really happy with what I shot in there, though. It’s a terrific space.”

“I know we will,” Tori grinned.

But then, the waitress showed up with their appetizer, which was a huge platter of taquitos, chimichangas, and quesadillas, along with salsas, sour cream, and guacamole. Jade’s eyes were huge, and Tori laughed in delight. Jade shot her a glance, “Stoner,” she accused.

“Hey, you’re the one who brought up appetizers.”

They were quiet for a moment as they dug into the appetizer platter, other than to compliment the food and urge each other to try things. Just when Tori piled a bunch of guacamole and salsa onto a triangle of quesadilla and barely got it into her mouth without making a mess, a young woman approached their table.

“Sorry, are you...Tori Vega?” she asked.

Tori’s eyes widened and she tried to chew quickly. Next to her, Jade chuckled, “Yeah, she is,” she drawled, as Tori smiled with her mouth full.

“Oh my god, I _knew_ it!” the woman said, “I tried to get my waitress to find out, but she didn’t think it could be you.” Now Tori knew why the waitress had been scrutinizing her. Maybe she was just trying to preserve Tori’s privacy. “I can’t believe I’m meeting Tori Vega in Casa Vega.” Her eyes widened comically, “Wait, does your _family_ own this place?”

Tori had finished swallowing her bite, “No, no relation,” she told the woman. “It’s nice to meet you.” She offered a hand to shake, keenly aware that she was meeting a fan while stoned as fuck.

“Oh my god I’m such a huge _Whisper Creek_ fan! You and Addison Cole were so _phenomenal_ on that show, and I’m so grateful you fought so hard for that movie. Your kissing scene was just perfect.”

Tori gave her a well-practiced smile, “Thank you so much. It was really important to us, too.”

The woman shot a glance at Jade, seeming uncomfortable suddenly, “I, uh, sorry for bringing up Addison Cole,” she said to Tori, then turned her attention to Jade, “Are you...someone?”

“That’s Jade West,” Tori answered, as Jade was currently chewing. “She’s a director.”

Jade swallowed. “I’m Tori Vega’s _friend_ ,” she elaborated, clearly hoping to avoid any further scrutiny.

“Oh, okay. Nice to meet you, too. And _thank you_ , Tori Vega. Oh god. Can you sign my receipt?” She fumbled in her purse for a pen.

“Of course,” Tori said graciously, remembering being a teenager and asking Weird Al Yankovic to do something very similar. Though really, all she wanted was to dive back into those black bean taquitos before Jade ate them all.

Autograph acquired, the young woman thanked Tori again, stared for a moment, and then scampered back to her table where she immediately leaned in and started whispering to the others seated with her.

Tori turned back to Jade, feeling a little awkward as she grabbed a taquito. Jade was watching the other table where the woman had retreated, but she turned back to the appetizer platter momentarily.

“So, does that happen a lot?” she asked lightly.

Tori shrugged, “Not super often.” But enough.

Jade was scrutinizing her, but whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the arrival of their waitress with their entrees, and refills on their water. After assuring her they didn’t need anything else at the moment, they both focused on their plates. Tori’s big, beautiful, sauce-slathered burrito would definitely need to be eaten with a fork, though the high part of her was a little disappointed to not be eating with her hands.

“How did you know I was going to order this?” Jade finally asked.

“That was always your go-to at a Mexican restaurant, and you mentioned enchiladas in the car,” Tori replied, “Some things stay the same.”

Jade was quiet for a moment, and then asked, “So, you told me you were still acting, but your IMDB page looks the same, so...I’m guessing you meant more in the sense of being The Pleasure Professor and The Mistress than in the sense of _Whisper Creek_.”

Tori allowed the sort-of question. “Yes.”

Jade looked at her curiously, “Why _aren’t_ you acting, though? Like,” she caught herself, “Like I mean--you know what I mean.”

Tori did. She considered how to answer Jade’s question as she took another bite of her burrito. “I guess I just lost my passion for it,” she finally said, “And the other work I do fulfills the part of me that loves performing, and it feels like it really accomplishes something beneficial, you know? Like the award I got at the reunion said.” It actually had meant a lot to get recognized for that. “I’m not, like, _opposed_ to acting again, like I used to. But it’s not my priority.”

“I get that.”

Tori had no doubt that she did. Neither of them were really doing what they thought they’d be doing at this point in their lives. “Like, earlier you asked how Mistress Tawny happened and...it’s kind of related to all that.”

“Related how?” Jade asked, one elbow on the table, head on her hand as she listened, obviously curious.

“After that casting director told me I wasn’t sexy enough, I think I really wanted to--”

“Whoa, wait. What?” Jade waved her hand, fingers splayed, as if physically attempting to pause the conversation. “A casting director said _what_ to you?”

That’s right, they were still catching up on ten years of details. “My last round of pilot season auditions, I managed to be both too old for high school roles and too _unsexy_ for any adult roles.”

“Who is this clown? Because he’s an idiot. Or...I’m assuming it was dude.”

“You’re right, it was.”

Jade had been shaking her head for, like thirty seconds. “What an asshole. You’re one of the sexiest people I know.” She took a drink of her water, then, “And I mean that, like, professionally, as a director. You’d burn a hole right through the screen if the scene was right.”

The complimentary statements were boosting Tori’s ego, but it was Jade’s casual defense of her that had her feeling pleasantly light. “Well, thank you. If I can dig up the guy’s name, I’ll be happy to pass it along so you can send him a scathing email. Professionally, of course.”

Jade laughed, nodded, and snatched the last piece of quesadilla.

At the end of the meal, Jade said, “About your guest house…”

“Yes?”

“I think I’ll take you up on it.”

Tori was delighted. This might give them the chance to actually rebuild a friendship. “I’m glad I could help you out.” And then, abruptly, “Want to get dessert?”

Jade groaned, rubbing her stomach, but she was grinning, “Yeah, I do. Let’s split something?”

“What do you think? Churros? Flan?”

Jade’s face scrunched as she weighed the decision. Tori understood. She was glad she wasn’t the one making it. “Churros. I think. No, flan.”

“We’re getting both,” Tori decided. That was one way to make a decision.

When the waitress returned and asked if they wanted dessert, Tori asked her, “Habla español?”

“Sí.”

Tori flicked her eyes to Jade briefly and leaned in, “Es su cumpleaños,” she told the waitress quietly, “Can we please get the churros and the flan? And--do you want a coffee?” she asked Jade. Stupid question. Of course she did, and Jade’s expression showed just that.

-

When the waitress walked away, Jade said, “You better not have just told her what I think you just told her.” Okay, she definitely wasn’t fluent in Spanish, but she remembered the basics, and if she had heard Tori right over the noise of the restaurant, she definitely knew what she’d said. She narrowed her eyes at Tori. Did she really think she wouldn’t understand?

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” Tori replied lightly.

And mere minutes later, it was clear she _had_ , because the waitstaff was singing enthusiastically to Jade as they brought dessert. Tori grinned from ear to ear while Jade slouched in their booth, trying not to be seen. When they were gone, Jade was certain her entire body was blushing. “ _Why_ would you do that?” she whined.

“Because it’s _fun_ ,” Tori insisted, pushing the flan toward her while she picked up a churro. Right. She was dealing with The Fun Dominatrix, whose job it was to torture people. But even as she thought it, she knew it wasn’t true. She was here with Tori. The difference was palpable.

Jade took a sip of the coffee, which was at least good, but she also wanted to get out of here as soon as possible after that embarrassment. Tori must’ve sensed it, because she paid the check and had a WeDriveU on the way in short order, so that they were out of there basically just after they finished dessert and Jade polished off her cup of coffee.

By the time they got home, Jade was so full and also still felt pretty high. “I don’t know if I’m ready to drive home yet,” she told Tori as they walked up her driveway.

“Well, you can hang out for awhile until you’re ready, or we can smoke a little more, and you can stay the night in the guest house. It’s yours now, after all.”

To be honest, Jade kind of liked the sound of that. “Do you have a toothbrush?” she asked.

Tori laughed as if this was hilarious as they walked through her house. Jade narrowed her eyes, waiting for the answer, which finally came as Tori replied, “There should be one in the guest house.”

“Ew, like, someone _else’s_?” Jade asked.

“No, like from the dentist’s office. Wrapped in plastic.”

“Alright,” Jade smiled, “Then let’s get more high. Why not?”

“We’re celebrating your birthday, after all,” Tori agreed, “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

Jade chuckled at that, and Tori paused at the back door, opening her vaporizer and poking at the bud inside of it. “Hang on. I have to refill this.”

“Sure,” Jade stood in the middle of Tori’s living room, unsure of where she should go. Tori appeared to be emptying her vaporizer into a plastic canister.

She noticed Jade watching, “My mom can extract from the toasted bud to make edibles,” she explained.

“Damn. So you guys get double the high out of that stuff,” Jade commented.

“Pretty much,” Tori laughed, heading over to a drawer in her living room to grab a few things, and then she guided Jade outside.

Jade sat at the picnic table, and under the light above the back door to Tori's house, she watched as Tori ground up some more flower (it was Black Lodge again) and repacked her vape. They were quiet until the vaporizer had made a couple of passes. Jade was enjoying the evening air, the idea that maybe sitting out here on the patio with Tori might become _a thing_ if she were living in the guest house, a way to rebuild their friendship.

It was weird to find out about Mistress Tawny Swain, for sure. And there was still a part of Jade that didn’t really understand the professional end of Tori’s work, except that she evidently found it gratifying in some way. Like, she felt like she was helping people. And there was definitely the part of Jade who had found it almost overwhelming to interact with The Mistress.

But she also understood that The Mistress and Tori were two separate people. Personas. Whatever, they were different. And getting high and going to dinner with Tori had been _nice_. And she wanted Tori back in her life. So even as Jade wondered what all this meant for Tori, she had to admit that it wasn’t really her business, as curious as she was.

“I’m bummed I missed your thirtieth birthday,” Tori said out of nowhere.

Jade wasn’t even sure what to say, so she just took her time breathing in the flavorful vapor. God, this was delicious weed.

“What did you do, anyway?” Tori asked finally.

Jade squinted, bringing her thoughts back to that night. “I was in New York at the time,” she said, “And I spent the day working on set for an acquaintance’s short film. And that night, I went out for drinks with some friends.” And, Jade realized there wasn’t a whole lot left to tell. They’d all drank a little too much, yelled all night trying to hear each other. Her friends, most of whom were people she worked with or had in the past, had encouraged her to go home with a woman she’d met there, but Jade wasn’t feeling it. She watched Tori, who seemed to be waiting for more of a story. “What about you? Did you work?”

It was sort of a joke, because of how much it seemed Tori worked in general. But Tori grinned, “No. My birthday is the one day I _never_ work. Well, not as The Mistress, anyway, because I don’t want my clients to show up high. I was actually in Denver for my thirtieth birthday. I was a judge for the Cannabis Cup.”

“You were not,” Jade said in disbelief. “Wow,” she commented, accepting the idea moments later. She realized something else. “I missed your twenty-first birthday, too,” she said wistfully. God, they’d been so young back then, when they’d broken up.

Tori nodded, “We missed each others’,” she said quietly. Jade hadn’t really forgotten, because, despite the distance, they’d at least still been dating during hers, but she hadn’t so much as acknowledged Tori’s. “I mean, who knows if we’d even have been able to celebrate it, with your school and everything.” Her tone was even, but there was definitely some tension beneath the surface. Tori shrugged like she was shaking something off. “It was fine, I just worked the day of. My mom came up to visit that weekend, and we did mother/daughter margaritas.” She coughed out a laugh, “That was when I learned she and my dad were swingers.”

Jade laughed. “Yikes,” was all she said.

“Very yikes,” Tori agreed, “Probably my worst birthday present right there.” That drew some subdued laughter from them both, at least, breaking the mood slightly. She offered the vape to Jade questioningly, but Jade shook her head. She was good. But she was also thinking about how they’d had plans for their birthdays. Hell, they’d never even really gotten to plan their thirtieth birthdays, just that they figured they’d be married by then, but back before Canada had really become a thing that dictated the nature of their relationship, they’d been planning a trip to Vegas for Tori’s twenty-first, since they’d both finally be of drinking age, together.

It seemed dumb to miss something that definitely hadn’t happened, but Jade did.

“Well,” Tori began, standing up from the picnic table. “I guess I should let you get settled in your new place.”

Maybe the topic change had been too much for her. Jade knew it was dredging up feelings she hadn’t really thought about in a long time. She followed Tori to the guest house, which she unlocked and let Jade inside. “Thanks.”

“Let me get you your key,” Tori trailed off, fiddling with her keyring, but then she handed Jade a set of two keys, “This one opens the gate, this one opens the guest house.”

“Thanks,” Jade said again.

Tori smiled, “Happy birthday,” she said, and then she was lifting her arms and wiggling her hips in that stupid Tori Vega way she had when she wanted a hug.

Jade rolled her eyes, but let herself get engulfed in her arms, inhaling the scent of that new perfume she wore, of her shampoo, different from the one she’d used back in college. It felt nice to hug her. Maybe they really were nailing this friends thing.

“Well, good night,” Tori said when they’d let go. But then Tori had the door and was just about to step out when she spun around, “Oh my god. I have cake for you!”

“Wait, you have _cake_?! Then why did you make me endure _singing_ at the restaurant?”

“Because we wanted flan and churros,” Tori replied, “Come on, come inside with me.”

Jade followed Tori into the house, where Tori opened the fridge and presented Jade with a box of cupcakes.

Decorated as breasts.

“Happy birthday!” Tori sang out again.

“You bought me _boob_ cupcakes?!” Jade said in disbelief.

“What? They reminded me of you.” Jade groaned and laughed at the same time. But then Tori tilted her head thoughtfully as she regarded the cupcakes, her eyes lifting briefly to Jade’s chest. “You know,” she said, “If you ever have trouble finding work out here, you could always work at Hooters.”

Jade fumed, scowling, “I should kill you for even suggesting that.”

“I’m just saying you have the assets for it.”

“You’re lucky you just offered me rent-free housing, Vega,” Jade growled. But then they were each selecting a cupcake. Jade bit into hers and hummed. “These are good,” she admitted.

“I know, right?” Tori agreed.

After delicious, breast-shaped dessert, they said goodnight, and Jade retired to the guest house. Which was now _her_ house, she guessed. There was, indeed, an individually wrapped toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet, along with a tiny tube of toothpaste (that reminded her of the bonus items Tori had scored from Cristal, the bellhop, for being so recognizable), so Jade brushed her teeth, and then climbed into the bed. She hoped the sheets were clean. But then, if Tori had cleaned the whole guest house recently, they probably were.

She looked up _cannabis cup 2025 tori vega_ on her phone as she lay in bed, wondering if there were pictures of her at the event.

There weren’t any results. There were results about the Cannabis Cup itself, but nothing that included the words _tori vega_.

Jade frowned, but maybe it was worth a more in depth investigation on her computer. And when she wasn’t so high.

She fell asleep easily, despite the new location.

The next morning, however, Jade realized her mistake. Not for sleeping there, because that part had been fine. No, her mistake was that there was no coffee maker in the kitchen. Not to mention no coffee itself. The only thing in the entire kitchen was a plastic container of what she assumed was baking soda in the fridge.

Fuck that. Now she was irritated.

She wondered if Tori was awake. Maybe Tori would at least give her some coffee before she had to drive back to her mom’s house.

Jade went to the front window of the guest house and opened the curtains.

There was Tori, sitting at the picnic table on the patio, a coffee mug in front of her.

Jade blinked, because it looked like there was _another_ one on the other side of the picnic table.

Curiously, Jade opened the door to the guest house. Tori looked up at her and gave her a subdued smile, “Morning,” she greeted, voice soft.

Jade grunted in response, eyes falling from Tori and her messy wavy morning bedhead and her sleep tank top down to the other mug on the picnic table.

“Figured you would need some coffee,” Tori lifted what looked like a coaster off of the top of the other coffee mug. “Don’t worry, this is clean,” she assured Jade, placing it on the table next to the mug.

The cleanliness of the coaster wasn’t really something Jade was worried about, but she was reassured all the same. She sat down in yesterday’s clothes on the other side of the picnic bench and lifted the still steaming cup of coffee to her lips. “What made you think I’d even be awake yet?” Jade asked.

Tori shrugged, “Just wanted to be prepared. I knew you’d need some coffee, and you don’t always sleep that well in a new place.” Actually, Jade had slept pretty well. Maybe because of the weed.

“So you waited out here for me?” Jade asked.

Tori laughed, “No, I come out here with my coffee a lot anyway. You know, if the weather’s nice. I like to start my morning with Hamster.”

Jade took another sip of coffee and waited for that to make sense. It still didn’t. “Hamster?” she finally asked.

Tori turned to look over her shoulder, wiggling her fingers and making little kissing noises. Jade stared in confusion until she noticed the tabby cat lolling on the patio tiles behind Tori. “That’s Hamster,” Tori explained.

“I didn’t know you had a cat.”

“I don’t,” Tori said, “He’s just a friend.”

Jade raised her eyebrows at the cat, who looked quite at home. She knew how these things tended to work. “Do you feed him?” she asked. Tori pointed to two ceramic bowls near the door to her house. Jade gazed at her skeptically, “So you feed him. And you named him. And he comes to see you in the mornings. But you _don’t_ have a cat?”

Tori chuckled, “Hamster is his own man. He probably has other people around here who feed him and think he’s theirs. I’m not naive. I just enjoy his company when he decides to give it to me.” She grinned over the rim of her coffee cup, “He’s in an open relationship with the whole community.”

“Gross,” Jade commented, taking another long sip of her coffee. She’d almost finished it.

Tori checked her PearPhone, “I should get ready for work in a minute. Want another cup of coffee before I head in?”

“Of course,” Jade replied.

Tori took their mugs and returned moments later with fresh coffee. She sat back down. “Plans for today?” she asked Jade.

“Moving in, probably,” Jade replied. “I might see if my brother can help me.” She’d considered this possibility the night before. Sam was probably her most reliable friend, and would be great for this type of thing, considering she rarely had to work, and was deceptively strong. But she only had a motorcycle, which would not help her at all in this situation.

“Sounds great,” said Tori, “Sorry I won’t be able to help you move, but I guess I might see you when I’m finished with work.”

There was a moment there, in which Jade wondered if she should ask what Tori was working on today, or if she even wanted to. She scrutinized her, her lazy morning smile, mussed hair, rumpled sleep clothes, and wondered at the transformation of Tori Vega who spent her mornings with a cat friend into Mistress Tawny Swain.

But in the end, Jade decided not to ask. Maybe she needed more coffee before she could consider Tori’s work with any kind of rationality.

Instead, she said, “Have a good day, then.”

Tori flashed her one of those bright smiles that almost hurt so early in the morning. “Thank you, I will.”

Jade watched her go into the house, thinking that she could maybe get used to mornings with Tori and Hamster, especially if coffee was involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Work B*tch_ by Britney Spears.
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> Jade’s workload was on the lighter side that week, which she was okay with, because the Fet Ball gig paid well and because she was still getting settled in the guest house. Which meant, finally, she was starting to go through everything that had sat in boxes at her mom’s house for years.
> 
> First, she sorted through clothes. Some of her clothes had just sat in her dresser for years, untouched even when the dresser had been moved upstairs and then to the guest house. What used to be in her closet had been packed into boxes. Most of it was clothes she hadn’t liked enough to take with her when she moved to New York, but there were definitely a few dresses and corsets and things that she’d loved in high school that she’d left behind because she didn’t think she’d be seen as a serious filmmaker if she wore them. And part of that might’ve been a good instinct, but it also was just her taking herself way too seriously at twenty-three. Her style had matured since then, but she thought a few pieces might be worth bringing back. The studded skirt she’d loved was certainly something she intended to save, for instance.
> 
> So Jade sorted through clothes, making a pile of the articles that were too worn to really salvage, the ones she wanted to donate to a thrift store, and the ones she wanted to keep.
> 
> And among some old t-shirts and tank tops that sat in her dresser for years, Jade fished out an old, familiar worn t-shirt with a Sherwood High School logo on it.
> 
> The garment brought with it an almost unbearable wave of nostalgia. Jade brought it to her nose automatically, as if expecting it might still bear the scent of Tori Vega’s shampoo from a decade ago. Instead, it only had the slightly musty, sour smell of clothes stored for too long in wood furniture.
> 
> Jade tossed it into the trash bag with little thought, but not even a minute later, she was snatching it back. It was hard to explain the impulse.


	7. Four: And I will try to blow it up and hand you all the blame, I'll tell myself to fuck it up first, just in case

When Jade returned to her mom’s house, her mom was sitting in her office. “Jade!” she scolded, “Where have you been?”

Jade rolled her eyes. It had been a long time since she’d had to be accountable for her whereabouts to anyone, and it hadn’t even occurred to her to let her mom know she wouldn’t be home the night before. “Okay, first, I’m an adult. Also, I told you yesterday I was going out with Tori. I stayed in her guest house.”

Tiffany eyed her, “You stayed over with Tori?”

“Yeah, in her _guest house_ ,” Jade emphasized.

There was a disbelieving snort behind her. She turned to see Jeremy lurking just inside the kitchen, wearing pajama pants and eating toast. His eyes widened when she looked at him and he backed away a step.

“You have something to say?” she asked him dangerously.

“Nope,” he said, though he sounded gleeful about it.

“Okay, actually, since you’re _both_ here, I’m moving out,” Jade declared.

“What?” Tiffany seemed hurt.

“Mom, you know this was temporary, and it’s definitely better for both of us if we don’t live together,” Jade said reasonably.

“I guess,” Tiffany said glumly, “You’ll visit, right? You’re staying in town?”

“Oh my god, Mom. Yes. I’m moving into Tori’s guest house.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment. “Oh,” Tiffany said lightly.

“Uhauling pretty fast, aren’t you?” Jeremy snarked.

“How do you even _know_ that joke?” Jade glared at him. “Also, Tori and I are just friends.” She shot a glare at her mother as she said this, since she figured she needed to hear it, too. She turned back to her brother. “What are you doing today?” she turned the tables on him.

“Uh, I was gonna go get my car detailed.”

“No, you’re helping me move,” Jade decided.

“What? But I--”

“I’ll pay you in pizza and beer,” Jade offered.

“Deal,” Jeremy agreed.

Well, that was easy. “You have any friends who can help? Maybe one with a truck?” Jade could get by on the furniture already in the guest house for awhile, but there were a few things here she wanted (in addition to all her boxes of stuff), and if she could get it all done in one day, the better she’d feel. Especially if she didn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting.

Jeremy looked thoughtful, “You know, I think I can hook you up.”

Jade spent some time repacking the things she had just unpacked the month before. Luckily, she’d saved the boxes, and most of her belongings remained packed up, anyway. She really needed to go through some of this stuff, but she figured she could do that at the guest house. Maybe list some things she didn’t need, or donate it.

Her brother called for her when she took a break to eat a sandwich, and she turned to see him coming into the kitchen with a very tall, muscular guy she definitely recognized and a shorter, curly-haired one she couldn’t place.

“I have Dice and Goomer here to help,” Jeremy said.

“Wasn’t expecting you guys,” Jade drawled. “Hey, Goomer, Dice.” She hadn’t seen Dice in so long that he had been difficult to recognize, despite his curly hair looking basically the same, but Goomer hadn’t changed since she used to punch him back in college to get her aggression out.

“Hi, Jade,” Goomer gave her a big, goofy grin.

“I didn’t know you knew these two,” Jade said to her brother.

“I’ve known Dice forever. He was in my Boy Scout troop for a year or so when we were little,” Jeremy explained.

“That was before I got into...more lucrative pursuits,” Dice smiled, “I wondered when I might see you. Sam said you were back in town.”

Jade gathered that it wasn’t surprising to either of her guests that she was Jeremy’s sister. Man, she really needed to pay more attention to her brother’s life. “So, which one of you has a truck?”

“I do!” Goomer said excitedly, actually raising his hand. It nearly smacked into the ceiling.

“Okay, I need the media shelf and the dresser in the upstairs bedroom and the red armchair in the downstairs bedroom loaded onto it,” Jade said, “Jeremy, will you show them where?”

“The red arm-- _hey_!” Jeremy frowned.

“I let you borrow it for like, eight years. And now I’m taking it back,” Jade folded her arms. “You’re lucky I’m letting you keep _my_ bookshelf.” Mostly because she had too much respect for the books and Blu-Rays that would undoubtedly end up on the floor of her brother’s room for months before he got around to buying another bookshelf.

Jeremy groaned, but relented. “Okay guys, let’s get moving.”

Jade was able to finish her sandwich while the guys moved furniture, but she did help load the plethora of boxes, her camera equipment, and her luggage into the truck, her car and Jeremy’s car.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Dice frowned, looking at Jade’s car, “Wasn’t this the one you were going to sell me?” he asked Jeremy.

“I told you, it’s not available anymore,” Jeremy mumbled.

“But you still have it!” Dice protested, “Man, I could make a couple hundred bucks reselling this after some minor cosmetic upgrades.”

“Well, you can’t now, because it’s _mine_ ,” Jade glared.

“Oh,” Dice gulped, “Okay, that’s cool.”

They unloaded everything on the other side, and though as far as moves went, it wasn’t even that crazy, Jade felt pretty drained by all the action. She sent Goomer to the corner store to buy beer and Jeremy and Dice to pick up pizza after she’d called it in, and she went to the store to get a couple of necessities--new sheets (dark purple suited her better than the flower patterned ones of Tori’s that were currently on that bed), a coffee grinder and kettle so she could make a pot of French press in the morning, a basic dish set and a few pots, pans, and cooking utensils, and a new bookshelf.

But before long, she met her movers back at the house, and they were all crowding onto the picnic table, eating pizza and drinking beer. Jade was rationing the beer that her brother was drinking, at least, because he had to drive home (and she promised him he could keep whatever they didn't drink, so he had incentive), but Dice was free to get a little wild, and she trusted Goomer to know his limits.

They were in the middle of eating when she saw the back door to Tori’s house open, and there was Tori, looking casual in jeans and a t-shirt, stepping out onto the patio.

“What’s going on back here?” she asked, sounding amused.

“Moving party,” Jade grinned, “You know my brother, and...do you know Dice and Goomer?” she wondered.

“Sure, it’s just been awhile. How’s everyone doing?”

“Great,” Goomer drawled around his mouthful of pizza.

“I’m on my way to greatness!” Dice announced, already sounding tipsy.

“He has a ride home,” Jeremy assured Tori, who looked a little alarmed.

Jade eyed her, “Want to join us?”

“I was just trying to figure out what to do for dinner, but pizza sounds amazing,” Tori strode over and sat next to Jade at the picnic table.

The evening progressed with Dice deciding to show off his “sweet dance moves” on Tori’s lawn, with Jeremy stashing what was left of the beer in his trunk while Dice was distracted, and then Goomer let Jade punch him as hard as she could, for old time’s sake. But it was hard to do when she wasn’t feeling heartbroken and miserable. In fact, Jade realized, she was actually kind of _happy_.

She didn’t really know if she wanted to stay in LA, but there was still something about having a space of her own that made her excited about however long she’d be here. And, she had to admit, she liked having Tori back in her life, even if they were just sitting together and laughing at a ridiculous drunk twenty-something kid who kept trying to get them to make bets on Goomer’s next fight.

Yeah, Jade had made the right call, moving out of her mom’s house.

-

Tori had a busy workweek, so she and Jade saw each other here and there, but it seemed that Jade was getting settled in the guest house. She’d told Jade to make it her own, but as far as she could tell, Jade had just brought in a couple of furniture pieces and personal belongings. Nothing really decorative to personalize the space.

They saw each other for morning coffee on Tuesday, with Jade bringing out her own French press brewed cup, and they made small talk about Jade moving in and getting settled. On Wednesday, though, Tori had gotten up a little earlier than usual and had her coffee with just Hamster, but that gave her some time for some morning yoga in her yard before she had to get ready for work. When she was finished with her workout, she was pretty sure she saw movement behind the glass of the door to Jade’s house, but Jade hadn’t come out with her coffee yet. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to disturb Tori.

On Thursday, though, they had coffee together again. “So, is everything to your liking so far?” Tori asked.

Jade lifted a shoulder, “For the most part.” She took a sip of her coffee and squinted at Tori, “When was the last time that mattress in there was replaced?”

Tori frowned, “Pretty recently? I figured it was about time, since the one before yours survived both Trina and I living there. Why, is it uncomfortable?”

Jade shook her head, “No, it’s kind of great. How long have you been planning to get me to move in with you?” she snarked.

Tori smiled, “Hey, I was just trying to save your relationship with your mom.” But Jade was right that some of this had been a little calculated. “I mean, sure, I...had you in mind when I cleaned it out and things like that. But then, I also didn’t put a coffee maker in there, so…” she trailed off, not sure what she was trying to say, just that she didn’t want Jade to think she’d been trying to manipulate anything.

“Well, I guess it wasn’t total Jade bait, then,” Jade replied, eyes smiling at Tori as she sipped her coffee.

“Everything else working okay? Appliances and plumbing and stuff?”

“So far, so good,” Jade said, but then her face twisted, “Except…”

“What?”

“The TV.”

“Oh. It’s a little old, did it stop working?”

“No, it works, it’s just...a little small.”

“Well, the house is pretty small, too,” Tori replied reasonably.

“I mean, it’s kind of just right if you’re sitting on the couch, but if I want to watch TV in bed, I can’t really see what’s going on.”

Tori smirked. This was such a Jade West problem to have. “Yeah, I could see that.”

“It’s not a huge deal,” Jade said dismissively, “If I decide to replace the TV, I’ll let you know, though.”

Tori nodded, “Whatever you need to do to make the space yours. Seriously.”

Jade just nodded, avoiding her eyes. Maybe Tori was coming on too strong. She was hoping Jade would stay in Los Angeles for a while, but if she preferred traveling for work, it wasn’t as though Tori could stop her. But selfishly, Tori liked having her around.

She hoped what she was going to offer next wasn’t similarly overbearing. “So, I’ve been working on experimenting with cooking in recent years,” Tori started. Really, this was another reason that her sister’s foodie status was so cool, because Trina got to make a lot of common mistakes first--and on a public web show--which gave Tori an advantage in her own kitchen. “Sunday evenings, I usually take the time to make something at home. If you’d like, you’re welcome to join me.”

Jade smiled slightly, “Sunday dinner, huh? Okay. I’m in.”

That was easy. “Great!” Tori enthused. It was easier to cook for two, anyway. Not to mention, less lonely. There were a lot of perks to living alone, but the idea of sharing regular meals with someone appealed to her. And, having someone else eat her cooking, especially someone as opinionated as Jade, might help her improve.

It was also nice because thus far, morning coffee was the only time it seemed like they might see each other reliably, and even that wasn’t a given. Jade wasn’t her best in the morning, Tori knew full well. If they weren’t meeting for coffee or food in the city, at least she knew they’d have a weekly opportunity to catch up. You know, as friends.

But as Tori went about her day, working, coming home in the afternoon to do some yoga on the lawn before showering and making herself some basic pasta for dinner, she found herself looking forward to Sunday even more. Because although Jade had been in and out of the guest house all day, it seemed, they’d barely interacted.

Jade liked her space--they both did--and the last thing Tori wanted was to make it feel like there were hidden costs to the rent-free arrangement she’d offered.

But it also sort of sucked to feel like you missed the person who lived only mere feet away in your own backyard.

-

Jade’s workload was on the lighter side that week, which she was okay with, because the Fet Ball gig paid well and because she was still getting settled in the guest house. Which meant, finally, she was starting to go through everything that had sat in boxes at her mom’s house for years.

First, she sorted through clothes. Some of her clothing had just sat in her dresser for years, untouched even when the dresser had been moved upstairs and then to the guest house. What used to be in her closet had been packed into boxes. Most of it was stuff she hadn’t liked enough to take with her when she moved to New York, but there were definitely a few dresses and corsets and things that she’d loved in high school that she’d left behind because she didn’t think she’d be seen as a serious filmmaker if she wore them. And part of that might’ve been a good instinct, but it also was just her taking herself way too seriously at twenty-three. Her style had matured since then, but she thought a few pieces might be worth bringing back. The studded skirt she’d loved was certainly something she intended to save, for instance.

So Jade sorted through clothes, making a pile of the articles that were too worn to really salvage, the ones she wanted to donate to a thrift store, and the ones she wanted to keep.

Among some old t-shirts and tank tops that had been untouched for over half a decade, Jade fished out an old, familiar worn t-shirt with a Sherwood High School logo on it.

The garment brought with it an almost unbearable wave of nostalgia. Jade brought it to her nose automatically, as if expecting it might still bear the scent of Tori Vega’s shampoo from ten years ago. Instead, it only had the slightly musty, sour smell of clothes stored for too long in wood furniture.

Jade tossed it into the trash bag with little thought, but not even a minute later, she was snatching it back. It was hard to explain the impulse. She certainly remembered that it had been Tori’s t-shirt, one she had essentially stolen by borrowing it and refusing to give it back. It had been her preferred sleep shirt for years, especially when Tori was in Canada, because it had made her feel close to her. But she hadn’t been able to get rid of it even when the breakup was fresh, just shoved it in her dresser at home and forgot about it for literal years. But now, it both did remind her of Tori and didn’t. Because it also was definitely her shirt, one she’d liked wearing. Looking at it now, Jade remembered comfort.

As she was finishing sorting her clothes, her phone buzzed with a notification. She picked it up and noticed she’d gotten a message on Spectrogram from an old college friend, Chandra. Chandra had been a good friend to her that she’d gotten to know when they were upperclassmen; they’d helped each other on their Senior film projects and generally kept each other sane. They’d been close then, but they’d really only talked occasionally through social media since graduation. Jade opened the direct message curiously.

**UnderChandrasEye:** Hey! How’ve you been? Might be a weird question, but, did you happen to be working an event on Saturday?

Well. This was a little unexpected. But also, if she were going to be spotted there by anyone in her life, Chandra was one of the best options. She wouldn’t judge Jade. Not that she had any room to, if she were there.

**ScissorLuv:** Hey! I’m doing fine, you? And yes, I was working Saturday.

 **UnderChandrasEye:** In Westlake?

 **ScissorLuv:** Yep. I was there.

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I thought that was you under that mask!

 **ScissorLuv:** You guessed right. I didn’t even see you!

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I stayed masked myself

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I was mostly there to watch

 **ScissorLuv:** Well, I was mostly there to work

 **UnderChandrasEye:** But you stayed after for a bit, right?

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I thought I saw you with Mistress Tawny

Jade was glad that she’d really befriended Chandra after the breakup, because she didn’t really know how she would explain what had happened at the event to someone who also knew Tori. She figured she would just keep it simple.

**ScissorLuv:** Yeah, I helped her with a demonstration

 **ScissorLuv:** Had to leave after that to start sorting the images for the event

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Oh, man, does that mean you missed the Spank-Off?

Oh god, the _what_?

**ScissorLuv:** Guess I did

 **ScissorLuv:** I’m pretty new to a lot of this, so...what is that?

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Oh, it’s a competition between Mistress Tawny and Mistress Deidre

 **UnderChandrasEye:** They’re rivals so they trash talk each other

 **UnderChandrasEye:** while spanking anyone who wants it

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Then the subs all choose the winner

 **UnderChandrasEye:** And the winner spanks the loser

 **UnderChandrasEye:** It was a lot of fun!

Oh god. Jade didn’t know if she was disappointed she missed that or not. She also didn’t know if she should even ask who won.

**ScissorLuv:** Sounds like it!

 **ScissorLuv:** I didn’t even know you were in town tbh

 **ScissorLuv:** Thought you were still in Portland

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I’ve been back for a year or so

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I didn’t know you were back in town either!

 **UnderChandrasEye:** We need to catch up

 **ScissorLuv:** We do!

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Are you working on anything right now?

Somehow, this was harder to answer when it was someone she actually went to film school with.

**ScissorLuv:** Nothing of my own

 **ScissorLuv:** I’m just taking work where I can find it for now

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Yeah, I hear that

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Well, if you ever have anything in the works, let me know!

 **UnderChandrasEye:** I’m always available to help

 **UnderChandrasEye:** and I know some other folks who’d be up for it, too

 **ScissorLuv:** You’re amazing

 **ScissorLuv:** Kinda have a lot going on this week

 **ScissorLuv:** But next week let’s get coffee?

 **UnderChandrasEye:** Absolutely, let me know

She liked the idea of reconnecting with Chandra, mostly because she was an old friend, but also because it kind of counted as networking. Once, it had felt kind of gross to Jade to think about friendships in such a transactional sense, but that was how businesses and industries like hers worked. She knew Chandra would probably be thinking along the same lines, herself. She wondered what Chandra was working on these days.

On Wednesday, she had a gig in Hollywood, so she took some laundry to her mom’s house, washing the clothes she intended to keep as well as her new sheets. There wasn’t a washer or dryer in the guest house, which meant she’d probably have to keep coming here or start fitting trips to a laundromat into her schedule. Not ideal, but she’d dealt with that plenty of times when she’d been living in New York, and at least here, she had a car. And, if she kept showing up at her mom’s, it counted as visiting her family, right?

Next she sorted through her physical media--DVDs, Blu-Rays, and books. She’d repacked the DVDs and Blu-Rays in a way that made it pretty easy to transfer them all back onto her media shelf with little fuss. The books took longer, because she hadn’t even tried to unpack them at her mom’s, and she kept getting distracted as she sorted through them, remembering the ones she’d never gotten around to finishing, the ones she’d never even started, the old favorites she’d had since adolescence, the ones she’d had to read for school and actually ended up enjoying. There were very few books she decided she could part with, and having a bookshelf again made her feel more content in her guest house. She had a PearPad, sure, with more ebooks on it than what was on her shelf, but physical media was something she’d missed terribly with her nomadic lifestyle.

She entertained the thought of staying in LA for awhile and buying more books, to fill up the final empty row on her new bookshelf. But who knew? Most of her connections were still on the east coast, and she couldn’t just do headshots forever. She’d lose her mind.

But then, it wasn’t like her east coast connections had gotten her any opportunities to make another film, either. Wherever she was, there’d probably be the same sense of stasis, of taking the work she could just to stay somewhere, dreaming of making films.

By the end of the week, she knew that after working on Friday, she’d be spending her weekend going through the boxes that were a little more random. As she brewed coffee that morning, she looked outside the large window overlooking the lawn to see Tori out on her yoga mat again. This was one of those things she was getting used to. Sometimes they’d manage to have coffee together, but some mornings she seemed to miss Tori entirely, and instead was treated to the image of her doing her sun salutations or whatever. Well, maybe she shouldn’t think of it as a _treat_ , but there was a lot of skin on display, and she was only human. But also, yesterday Tori had done this in the afternoon, while Jade was sorting through her books. It had been just as distracting then as it was now, as Jade sat at her kitchen island with her breakfast and coffee, watching.

But then, when Tori was done, she came out to sit at the picnic table, still in her workout clothes, with a bottle of water.

Curiously, Jade stepped out to join her with her third cup of coffee.

Tori smiled, “Good morning,” she greeted.

“Morning,” Jade replied, settling across from her uncertainly. Maybe this was a mistake, because Tori’s skin was still glistening from her morning workout. But maybe Jade should figure out how to prepare for this, “Do you always do yoga in the morning?” she asked.

Tori eyed her with something like mischief in her expression, “No, I just try to fit it in when I have time. But I missed both you and Hamster for coffee this morning, so I thought I’d come back out.”

Well, that meant Jade couldn’t really know when she might catch Tori working out on the lawn. Great. She still didn’t know if she wanted to know so she could watch or to avoid it.

Tori rehydrated while Jade caffeinated, and then, Hamster came bounding over the gate, heading straight for the food and water dishes before coming over to rub against their legs. They shared some small talk about their respective days, and then both had to get ready to work.

Saturday morning brought coffee with Hamster, followed by Tori hurrying off to one of her many appointments as Jade sat on her couch and started sorting through boxes of minutiae. Damn, she needed a coffee table, or something. There were still a couple more furniture pieces she was realizing she wanted to make the place feel right.

But right now, she had boxes to sort through, so she put on the TV for some background noise and went to work.

Jade expected she might finish sorting through the assorted randomness on Saturday, but it hadn’t proved to be true. There were just so many things, and finding space for them was a problem, but she didn’t want to just repack them in boxes. Then she would get distracted by the TV.

The first few boxes were a lot of decorative things that used to be in her room, minus anything paper; posters and magazine pages had been thrown out, as had her jarred medical specimens, disappointingly. But her mounted butterflies and framed artwork had been saved, as had her animal bones and turtle shells and paper weights. She wondered about getting a desk into the guest house. If she got creative, she could make room for one.

One box contained a bunch of old writing journals from junior high through college, and Jade’s afternoon into her evening got eaten up paging through those, wondering if there was anything good hidden among her old ideas that she could rework.

By the time she was making herself a grilled cheese for dinner, she saw Tori outside at the picnic table, taking a few hits from her vape and enjoying the evening air. She thought about joining her, but by the time she’d plated her sandwich, Tori was back in her house.

This reminded her of something Tori had said the previous weekend, about being a judge for the Cannabis Cup. With everything that had happened, Jade had forgotten about her plan to do a more thorough search for this on her computer.

So Jade settled onto her bed with her computer, typing _cannabis cup 2025 tori vega_ into ZapLook again, and scrutinizing the results. Still nothing that came up with Tori’s name attached. She started to dig deeper, flipping through images from the event, wondering why Tori would be dishonest about this. Jade had been high, though, so maybe she’d gotten the city wrong, or had misunderstood the year. But Tori turned thirty this year, she was sure of that part.

Then, abruptly, she stumbled on a series of images of Tori. She’d almost skipped right past them, because this Tori was dressed in a way that Jade had never seen before--a beanie over her hair, wearing a big tie-dyed t-shirt with an eagle wearing sunglasses on it. The photo caption simply read _Internet personality Mary Jane, hybrid strain judge_. And that was definitely Tori’s vaporizer in her hand that she was taking a hit from in one picture.

As Jade scrolled through, she found a couple more pictures of Tori, all labeled as _Mary Jane_ , including one where she was posing with her mom, this time wearing a backwards green baseball cap and a tie-dyed shirt featuring a cat, and captioned _Internet personality Mary Jane and Holly of Holly’s Herbal Remedies_.

So Holly had been there, too. Interesting.

But try as she might, Jade couldn’t find where this “internet personality” named Mary Jane made her home online. The search term was just too vague, and even pairing it with weed didn’t help, for obvious reasons. And searching _tori vega mary jane_ yielded no helpful results whatsoever.

Maybe Tori just used it as a pseudonym, and the internet personality bit was kind of a red herring. That didn’t seem right, but Jade couldn’t figure out what else might be happening. After all, it was possible Tori might want to seek acting work again, and having her name attached to the Cannabis Cup might not be beneficial in some cases. Sure, Seth Rogen being a huge stoner didn’t seem to affect the caliber of work he got, but the rules were always different for women.

Eventually, Jade gave up the search. So Tori had definitely been there, but she couldn’t make sense of the pseudonym besides the obvious reason for using one. Maybe she’d ask Tori about it later.

Sunday morning, they had coffee with Hamster.

“So,” Jade said, as her brain started to wake up as she was on her second cup, “You’re internet personality Mary Jane.”

Tori’s eyebrow lifted, “Is that a question?”

“I guess.”

“Yes,” Tori replied simply.

Jade tapped her nail against her mug, thoughts still feeling a little sluggish. Okay, then this was part of the game about what the hell did Tori do for work. “Does Mary Jane actually _have_ an internet presence?”

“Yes.”

“ _Where_?”

Tori didn’t reply, merely smiled as she sipped her coffee.

“Is she on SplashFace?”

“No.”

Hmm. Maybe it wasn’t videos, then. “Does she have a blog or something?”

“Define something.”

“Her own website?”

“No.”

Jade sighed. Okay, well, she couldn’t figure out what else Tori would be doing with this Mary Jane persona.

Tori changed the subject when it was pretty clear that no more questions were forthcoming. “I’m glad you’re coming for dinner tonight.”

“Me, too.” After what felt like a long week sorting through her past stuffed in boxes, she was eager for a good home cooked meal and some time with her friend.

“I’m making vegetarian lasagna, does that sound all right?”

“Perfect,” Jade agreed. Honestly, she didn’t really care what it was.

Once back inside, Jade started sorting through other boxes. There was one that was clearly a desk drawer, filled with pens and markers, CDs with computer programs on them (most of them for digital cameras she’d owned), manuals for various electronics, flash drives, an old PearPad that she’d need to go find an old school-style charger to even turn it on to see what was on it. And again, she’d need to get a desk. Trying to write while sitting on the sofa or the bed wasn’t going to cut it, not if she was planning to do any serious writing.

But as the afternoon crept on, Jade found a box that was full of old jewelry and trinkets, and right on top was a little velvety ring box that made Jade’s heart sink as soon as she laid eyes on it.

She picked it up gingerly, and flipped it open to verify that, yes, this was what she knew it was.

Inside was a silver ring with star-shaped little gems alternating with stars carved into the ring itself. Jade didn’t even need to look at the inside to remember that she’d had _keep making it shine_ etched on the inside. But she looked, anyway, following her gaze with her thumb, feeling the texture of the little words.

She was supposed to give this ring to Tori, on that Valentine’s Day trip to Vancouver that had crashed and burned so epically that it had ended their relationship.

The gift wasn’t meant to...mean anything about their relationship. In fact, it wasn’t even supposed to be a Valentine’s Day present. Jade had ordered it in early December, before Tori had even come home for the holidays, but the fact that it was custom-made meant it hadn’t arrived in time to be a Christmas present, so she’d just pushed it back to the next gift-giving holiday. It was just something she’d bought because it made her think of Tori, and she knew Tori liked and wore rings, and she wanted Tori to be able to wear something that made her think of Jade.

As if a literal tattoo weren’t enough. But Jade didn’t need to think about that, either.

But in spite of the fact that this ring reminded her of that horrible trip, in which Jade had left early and had never even unpacked this ring to give to Tori, it was _still_ a gift that screamed Tori. Maybe she should’ve left it with her back then, but it wasn’t too late to give it to her now.

Maybe it would even be a little funny, after so many years.

-

Tori had decided to start with something she knew she could handle for her first weekly dinner with Jade, so she’d chosen a veggie lasagna recipe she’d made a few times before. She realized, at the last minute, it would pair nicely with a good wine, but her selection was limited, as the only time she really drank at home was when she cooked on Sundays and, even then, she didn’t always want to open a full bottle because she was only ever good for a glass or two. Of the three bottles she had, one was champagne, one was white, one was red. She settled on the red, which was a pinot noir someone had given her around her birthday, and popped the cork, leaving it on the counter to breathe while she pulled plates from the cupboard and carried them out to the patio table where there was already a pitcher of ice water and two glasses.

“What do you need me to do?” Jade asked, stepping out of the guest house.

Tori shook her head. “Nothing, it’s all ready.”

“So, tell me what to carry out,” Jade was already following her back into the house.

“Uh, okay...there’s a salad bowl--”

“Yep, got it,” Jade quickly had the bowl and salad tongs in her hands. "This, too?" She poked at a basket of bread with the tongs. When Tori nodded, Jade grabbed it, then took everything out to the table, leaving Tori to pick up the still-hot tray of lasagna with a pair of potholders.

Once all the food was spread across the picnic table, it looked like a huge meal for just the two of them. But with the way Jade was already loading up her plate, maybe it was a good thing there was so much food. They began eating and chatted a bit, just small talk about their days, when Jade realized something.

"Hold on, I have something for you," she said, before getting up from the table and ducking back into the guest house. While she was up Tori realized she'd forgotten the wine, but Jade was back before she had a moment to go grab it. "I was sorting through stuff and I found this." Jade placed something on the table, her hand still over it as she said, "I was planning to give this to you _that_ Valentine's Day but...well..."

Tori's eyes were on the spot where Jade's hand had been resting and when it pulled back, there was a small box of a very specific shape. It was obvious it contained a ring inside and Tori felt herself flood with a feeling she couldn't immediately place. Regret, maybe? "Jade," she said softly, reaching for it. Her thumb flipped the lid open and she found herself relieved when she saw that, while it was definitely a ring, it wasn't...you know...something serious. "Oh my god," she sighed, "okay, I was kind of worried it was..." worried wasn't right. "I just thought maybe you were about to show me..." She glanced up at Jade to see her brow furrowed.

"Show you what?" Jade's expression shifted as one eyebrow crept higher. "You thought it was an _engagement_ ring?"

"I didn't know," Tori admitted. Though, if it had been, why would Jade have given it to her now? Maybe it had been a ridiculous thought.

"Why would I have _proposed_ to you?" Jade was sharp with the words, though Tori could also tell they were a reaction, not a premeditated jab.

Still, that didn't mean she didn't feel jabbed by it. "Is it really that absurd?" Tori asked, deciding that it wasn't such a reach for her to make the assumption. "We'd been together for almost four years by then."

"We were still in college. Or, I was, anyway. You were...working."

The way Jade said it made Tori cringe. "Yeah, I was _working_. Doing the thing you encouraged me to do."

"I said to take the one job, not abandon me while you moved to Canada." Jade spoke quickly, her voice tight.

Okay, it was clear there were some things still left unsaid. "You're the one who left that trip early."

Jade looked away for a moment. "Because you didn't want me there."

"That's _bullshit_ , Jade." The accusation stung, and Tori felt herself getting angrier.

Jade’s gaze steeled, "Well, it sure didn't feel like you did."

"I had to _work_." Tori remembered her desperation to get off set, her eagerness to see her girlfriend, unaware that she wouldn’t have a girlfriend for much longer.

"Yeah, I remember.” Jade’s voice took on a quiet tone that unsettled her. “You had to work through my twenty-first birthday. You had to work through Thanksgiving. You were barely home that Christmas. And _then_ I had to make the plans to come up and see you over Valentine's Day and you couldn't even bother to pick me up from the airport yourself. I spent half that day in a Tim Horton's buying coffees every hour so I could stay logged onto the wifi."

Tori was quiet, not sure what to say. Jade wasn't wrong, Tori had been absent from Jade's life a lot during those last months of their relationship. But it was also because she was pursuing her career, a pursuit Jade supported and encouraged. "I didn't realize you were still upset about this."

"You know, I didn't think I was but, _for fuck's sake_ , Tori..." The quiet reserve that had been in Jade’s demeanor was rapidly dissipating.

Tori didn’t like this. But she also felt a need to defend herself. "Maybe if we'd _talked about things_ instead of you just leaving--"

"And said _what_? Because there wasn't really much left to talk about by then."

"You don't know that."

Jade’s arms were crossed, at this point. "I feel like I do."

Jade’s stubbornness was getting to her, so Tori fired back with, "Well, maybe that's _your_ problem."

" _Excuse me_?"

"This is what you do, Jade. You poke at a situation to provoke a response and then you make it impossible to actually communicate." They hadn’t had many big blow-out fights when they’d dated, but they’d certainly argued enough that Tori could identify Jade’s habits.

"Fine, then what did you want to say about it?" But Jade’s tone was a challenge, indicating she wasn’t about to listen, anyway.

"It's not necessary to drag all this back out--"

"No, _come on_.” Jade’s voice was mocking, antagonizing. Familiar in a way Tori didn’t like. “Let's do it."

"You're not the only one who went through a rough breakup. Yes, I was up in Canada and you were down here, but I also know that you were spending time _with my family_ , because I'd definitely hear all about it." She recognized that her eyes were tearing up, for some stupid reason.

Jade rolled her eyes. "So, what, you were _jealous_ that we still got along?"

For some reason, this part hurt more than the rest. "I was _so goddamn_ alone up there. You had my family and I had no one." Tori hated that her voice broke at the end.

" _Please_ , that's dramatic." Jade scoffed.

"Oh, _fuck you_ , Jade,” Tori shot back. “You have _no fucking idea_ what it's like to be a thousand miles away from everyone you love--"

" _I don't_? Like I didn't live across the goddamn country from everyone I consider family for the last eight years?" Jade’s hands gestured furiously next to her head.

"That's different." Tori tried to argue.

"How? Huh?"

"I'm just saying that when I finally realized it was over..." What even was she trying to say?

"When you _realized_? It wasn't obvious to you that we were falling apart that Christmas?" Jade glared at the velvet ring box on the table. "I guess it wasn't. Not if you _possibly_ thought..." She rose from the table. "Thanks for making dinner, but...I guess I'm not really hungry."

Seconds later, Tori was alone on the patio. She collected the ring box but left everything else behind, going into the house and leaning against the kitchen island while she collected herself. The wine was still sitting out, so she poured half a glass, then sipped it.

It was pretty much terrible.

Sleep didn’t come easily that night, and Tori felt emotional, restless, and drained all at the same time. It culminated in Tori waking up in the early dawn hours, with just enough sunlight to see clearly outside. Her eyes were drawn to the guest house, which was dark, but she could see that the door appeared to be standing open.

Alarmed, Tori got out of bed, not even bothering to pull on pants or shoes. Was Jade okay? Had someone broken in?

The sensation of dread grew as she came through her house until she reached the doors to her patio. The darkness inside the guest house seemed unnatural, absolutely impenetrable despite the morning sunlight. She couldn’t see anything.

She wondered if she needed a weapon.

There was a baseball bat next to the back door. When had that gotten there? Whatever, Tori picked it up and headed out into her backyard. The patio tiles didn’t even feel cool beneath her feet.

When Tori stepped into the guest house, it was as though the darkness within slowly began to dissipate, like it had been some gauzy, physical presence that Tori just had to break through. It was hard to breathe inside the guest house, and Tori felt herself starting to panic, waiting for vision to return, baseball bat held at the ready.

She slowly comprehended what she was seeing as light began to filter into the space. Or, her eyes were adjusting, that had to actually be what was happening, but it didn’t feel like that. It felt like the little home was slowly revealing itself to her.

And it revealed that it was empty. Completely. Even the furniture that Tori had provided was gone. There was only an old broom, coated with dust, in one corner. She realized the carpet had even been pulled up, as she became aware of the coolness of concrete beneath her bare feet.

The guest house was stripped bare. What had happened? Where was Jade?

As if summoned by Tori’s thought, she felt a presence behind her, and spun around.

There was Jade, looking like she hadn’t in _years_ , hair shorter and dyed dark with purple streaks, eyes glacier hard, full of animalistic fury. Tori couldn’t understand how she could be seeing her like this. How had she reverted to her high school self overnight?

“Jade,” Tori started, stepping toward her. She wanted to tell her she was sorry, she wanted to make sure she was okay, she wanted to explain that she didn’t understand what had happened to the guest house.

But Jade’s icy glare stopped her. “ _Fuck you, Tori_ ,” she snarled, and she turned and stormed out.

“Wait!” Tori called, but she was moving fast, too fast for Tori to catch up, and somehow Tori could see through her house to where Jade was climbing into a huge truck on the street, overloaded with everything from the guest house. She screeched away, leaving Tori standing in the doorway of the guest house screaming after her.

Tori woke up with an audible whimper, the remains of the scream in her dream. It was dark in her bedroom, and she tried to make sense of everything for a moment. She fumbled for her phone at her bedside table, squinting without her glasses. It was just after three in the morning, which explained why it was so dark. Her body’s sense of timing was all out of whack from her dream--because that’s all it was, a dream, and Tori willed herself to relax.

But she got out of bed, anyway, putting on her glasses and parting her curtains and looking out over her lawn toward the guest house. The outdoor lights of the neighborhood dimly illuminated her backyard, and she could see the shadowed shape of the guest house. It was dark inside, of course, because Jade was undoubtedly asleep. There was no way she’d actually leave in the middle of the night, was there?

Of course she would. Jade was something of an escape artist when she wanted to be. But Tori didn’t think she’d left. She even went so far as to peek out her front door, just to make sure Jade’s car was still parked in the driveway.

Jade was still here, and Tori didn’t want her to leave. Maybe they could talk in the morning. Maybe they could still come back from the fight that had broken them up so long ago.

-

Jade woke up earlier than usual, probably because she hadn’t slept very well the night before. When she'd excused herself from the dinner table after her fight with Tori, she'd closed herself in the bedroom (though there was no door, just a curtain) and stared at the ceiling for a good hour. She hated that they'd argued, that she'd left Tori sitting out there with that confused and hurt look on her face. But there hadn't been any stopping the avalanche of decade-old feelings she'd never had a chance to express. Now that she had, she worried she'd ruined what had barely even begun, the friendship they were still figuring out.

Whatever the new day had in store for her, Jade knew she needed to start with coffee, so she ground her beans and scooped them into her French press, peeking out the window to the patio as she waited for the coffee to steep. Tori wasn't outside at the table, like she usually was. Though, it was still a little early.

At the same time, Jade hoped it wasn't too late.

She poured her coffee and carried the mug out onto the patio, sitting in the same spot she had the night before. Bringing out the ring had been stupid. Why had she thought that was a good idea? And, for as much shit as she'd given Tori over the idea of an engagement ring (which it very clearly wasn't), it wasn't like she hadn't considered something that serious by that point in their relationship. That's part of what hurt so much, at the time, that any idea of their future together was suddenly impossible.

Jade had hit the bottom of her cup and was about to return back inside for more when the door to Tori's house opened and out came Tori, mug in one hand, glass Chemex pot in the other.

Without a word, she immediately refilled Jade's cup, then her own before she sat down across from her. They didn't speak for a minute or so, just sipping coffee and gazing around at the yard.

Finally, Tori said, "I'm sorry about last night--" but Jade also had begun to say, "Hey, so last night--" They both stopped short, waiting for the other to step back in.

"I could have been less of an asshole," Jade admitted.

Tori shrugged. "I think you were pretty justified. I know I'd been holding a lot in for a long time." She tapped her fingers on the handle of her cup. "Maybe I shouldn't have said fuck you."

"Nah, I earned it," Jade shrugged. "Listen, Tori..." she took a breath, ready to be more honest than maybe she'd been this entire time. "I'm not even really mad about all that, anymore. It was a long time ago and I've had a chance to get over it...over you, really. It was just the _first time_..."

"That we've ever talked about it, yeah, I know." Tori nodded to herself. "I guess I didn't realize you felt so abandoned by me."

"We don't have to hash it all out, it's okay." Jade took another drink, but then maybe there was more she needed to say. "What you said about being up there... _alone_. I...knew that you were on your own, but I guess I assumed that was what you wanted."

"I wanted to be there for the work, sure. I hated being away from..." Her eyes lifted from staring at the table to looking at Jade. "...everyone. And whenever I'd talk to my parents, you'd usually come up at some point. Which was fine, I know you've always been kind of close with them. They were just so far away from me."

"Yeah, I see how that would suck."

More silence. Then Tori, "I had a dream you moved out. Last night. I came out here and you'd just packed up everything. Even my own furniture."

Jade's face twisted into an incredulous expression. "Why the chiz would I take your furniture?"

Tori shrugged, maybe smiled, just a little. "I guess dream you is a real asshole?"

"Well, the honest truth is that finding another new place to stay seems like a real pain in the ass so..." Jade really hoped Tori still felt confident about her living there. "I'm planning to hang out here for a while. If you still w--"

Tori reached across the table and put her hand over Jade's, just in a quick squeeze before she drew it back. "Of course I do."

"Then okay."

"I do want us to...be friends."

"Yeah, I seem to remember you bugging me a lot about that, actually." Jade had already had the opportunity to try out the idea of it, when she'd told that fan at Casa Vega she was Tori's friend. Or when she'd had to explain to her mother and brother that she and Tori weren't anything more than that. "I guess it's about time I gave it a chance."

There was a glimmer in Tori's eye that suggested there was plenty she wanted to say, probably to bring up one of the many times Jade had actually leaned on Tori for friendship in high school, before they'd ever been Jade and Tori. Instead, though, she just smiled and said, "I'd like that."

The next morning, Jade came out to join Tori for coffee. There was still a small degree of tentativeness to their interactions, but generally, Jade felt a lot better. She’d thought they’d been granted a fresh start after the breakup sex, but it felt even more like it now, since the breakup fight.

“Good morning,” Tori greeted, “I’m glad I caught you.”

“Morning,” Jade replied, “Why, what’s up?”

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Not a lot,” Jade took a sip of her coffee, “I need to do laundry so I was either going to go to a laundromat or my mom’s. But I don’t have anything else planned.”

Tori frowned, “I forgot about there being no washer and dryer in the guest house. Why don’t you just do laundry in my house? Because I was going to ask if you could wait in my house for a package, anyway. It’s going to require a signature.”

Jade’s eyebrows lifted. “Okay, yeah. I can do that.”

“Great,” Tori grinned, “Let me get you the spare key.” She got up from the table with her mug and came back out moments later with a key, which she passed to Jade.

“Thanks,” she said absently, “What time tomorrow?”

Tori’s mouth twisted, “The email said any time between 11am and 5pm. I know it’s a large window, but it’s also kind of exactly when I’m working tomorrow.”

“It’s cool. Gives me plenty of time to do my laundry.”

Tori stood looking at her for a moment. “You can, you know, do laundry _other_ times, too. Not just tomorrow. I’m letting you keep the key. Just give me a heads up or something.”

“That’s awesome. Thanks.”

Tori shrugged. “Seems stupid to pay or go all the way to Hollywood just to wash your clothes when there’s a washer and dryer right there,” she mumbled, then headed inside.

She was definitely giving Jade a reason to want to stay. Jade wondered how much her nightmare had fucked her up.

Jade checked in with Tori the next morning, assuring her that she would be there to accept the package. Tori had encouraged her to make herself at home, and instructed her to brew as much coffee as she wanted so she wouldn’t have to keep going to the guest house to have more. Then, after Tori left for work, Jade went into the main house at around quarter to eleven with her laundry and her computer, just in case anything showed up early.

At first, Jade didn’t do much but sit on Tori’s couch and drink her coffee, listening for her clothes to be finished with the wash cycle. Tori’s single origin Guatemalan roast was _really_ good, so good Jade didn’t need to add sugar to it, and since Jade had been assured she could have as much as she wanted, she was going to make the most of it.

Jade had to admit that pour-over made a great cup of coffee. One of her favorite coffee spots in New York served some of the best coffee she’d ever had, and watching them set up on the coffee bar with the V-cone and filter was like a little moment of respite in a city that was always moving. Tori preferred a large Chemex, which meant Jade could brew multiple cups at once, which she did eagerly. She wasn’t planning to give up her French press anytime soon, because it was also really tasty, and easier for her to contend with first thing in the morning. She was also used to it. That didn’t mean it was the _only_ way to enjoy coffee.

Maybe because she knew she was in the home of a _literal_ dominatrix, but Jade felt like she needed to behave for the first hour or so she was in Tori’s house. Whatever that meant. But as she sat on the couch, working on her computer, listening to the washer churn and the dryer whir, the curiosity started to get to her. She’d been granted unfettered access to Tori’s home. And it wasn’t as though Tori didn’t know her extremely well.

Tori knew she was going to snoop. So Jade decided that’s exactly what she would do.

She started with the shelves in Tori’s living room. The movies Tori owned were about what she expected. She definitely recognized a lot of them as ones Tori owned even back when they were together, a lot of ridiculous comedies and girly rom-coms. Oh, she had a decent selection of queer movies now, too, that was interesting, including some classics like _Desert Hearts_ and _Bound_ alongside slightly more recent ones like _Carol_ and _Portrait of a Lady on Fire_. She had a couple unexpected films, too, like _Secretary_ and _Belle du Jour_...except maybe not so unexpected, given that she was a pro-domme. Jade was a little surprised to see _Mulholland Drive_ among Tori’s films. She remembered when it was playing at one of the retro theaters in town when they were in college and Tori had suggested they go, thinking it was cute because of their overlook on Mulholland. It was...not a cute film, which Jade already knew, and for a full week Tori had puzzled over it, texting Jade questions like “but what did the ringing phone mean?!” She didn’t think that Tori had liked it much, yet here it was.

And her books. Jade had skimmed some of these titles even when she’d been sitting on the couch, and getting closer, she saw she was absolutely right about the content. Among the fiction, the plays, and the Shakespeare was a lot of nonfiction. Particularly books about psychology, neuroscience, and sexuality.

Especially sexuality.

Jade’s eyes skimmed over titles like _Better Sex Through Mindfulness_ , _The Vagina Bible, The Ethical Slut_ , _The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women_ , _Sex at Dawn_ , _The New Topping Book, The New Bottoming Book, Tell Me What You Want_ and _Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns._ Her mind swam. Okay, Tori definitely had an academic interest in sex, that was for sure. And not surprising, given the nature of her work as The Pleasure Professor. And as Mistress Tawny, for that matter. Tori _loved_ this stuff. Jade wondered how many of these books she’d actually read.

And that wasn’t even touching on the many books about queer issues that Jade noticed. What a nerd. It also struck her that, sure, Tori lived alone, but it was still pretty gutsy and shameless to have her entire sex library on display on the bookshelf in her living room.

Tori had come a long way from the teenager who’d blushed crimson and apologized after accidentally groping her girlfriend’s boob.

Something about that made Jade feel warm. She realized she was _proud of_ Tori.

Next, Jade took her cup to the kitchen to refill her coffee, and while she was there, she idly explored the kitchen. Nothing too exciting in there. But then, what was she expecting to find? She’d already been served boob cupcakes in this kitchen, there wasn’t much food-related that could surprise her. But the boob cupcakes had been for a special occasion, obviously, and it appeared in regular life, Tori kept a reasonably stocked pantry full of basic stuff not shaped like any particular body parts.

 _Well_. Time to escalate the snooping to more private areas of Tori’s home. Again, nothing she wasn’t positive Tori was already anticipating.

Jade walked down the hallway. The former guest bathroom was gone, she knew, and where there had once been a door to an office when Grandma Jean had lived here, there was now a blank wall, which she hadn’t quite noticed the previous times she’d passed by the hallway. Weird. Instead, there was a desk space in the nook at the very end of the hall. She’d taken note of it the couple of times she’d come into the house through Tori’s front door, and on closer inspection, it looked a lot like Tori’s desk in her bedroom in high school and college. There was a desk lamp, a paperweight, a few neat stacks of paper, a closed PearBook, a corkboard on the wall above the desk.

But a few things were different. The paperweight was actually a little glass figure of a nude woman. And the corkboard no longer had movie ticket stubs for everything she and Jade had seen together, of course. Instead, there was a flyer from The Pleasure Chest detailing the workshops for the month next to a few short lengths of rope pinned to the corkboard, some business cards for companies that apparently made bondage ropes, a little pin that said _talk nerdy to me_ with a pair of glasses on it and another that said _Yes, Mistress_. There was also a little sticker that said _it’s 4:20 somewhere_ and another one with the _Holly’s Herbal Remedies_ logo on it. And a little postcard that said _Keep Calm and Get Kinky_ over a rainbow background.

 _Oh god_. Even her inspirational quotes were still nerdy as hell, even if the content had changed drastically.

Mounted on the wall next to the desk was Tori’s PearPlanner wall unit. The lock screen was a stunning picture of a sunset over Los Angeles that Jade wondered if Tori had taken herself. The calendar notification on the lockscreen only said _You have two events scheduled today: 11am and 3pm_. No other information was available, and as Jade tapped the screen, the PearPlanner flashed the message, _Please log in on your portable Pear device to request access_.

Well. She guessed she wasn’t going to do much digital snooping today. Instead, she turned, and, hesitating only slightly, pushed open the door to Tori’s bedroom.

Like the desk in the hallway office nook, there was something very familiar and very _Tori_ about her bedroom. Jade had half-expected to walk into some kind of home dungeon, or at the very least, to find some sort of bondage restraints permanently connected to Tori’s headboard or maybe her ceiling, but instead, she found basic furniture: a bed. A dresser. A television, smaller than the one in the living room, next to a record player, both on top of a long, low shelf with cube compartments that mostly held records. Next to that was a keyboard and an acoustic guitar on a stand. There was a nightstand on either side of the bed, though it was clear which side Tori preferred, as the other side had only a lamp on it.

Jade approached Tori’s side of the bed, because the bed itself felt so familiar to her. Maybe it was the fact that it wasn’t neatly made and just had the covers flipped up into place--something that used to drive Jade nuts about Tori back when they dated, the fact that she didn’t make her bed in the morning. Jade automatically began tugging and straightening the covers, tucking them under Tori’s pillows. That sense of familiarity extended to the bedside table, too, which had a little jewelry dish and a stack of books on it, just like Tori’s bedroom at her parents’ house.

But some things were certainly different. Like the body pillow that appeared to have its own side of the bed. She remembered Tori had a body pillow in her old bedroom, but it had been under her bed. Also, the books on her bedside table themselves contrasted with the textbooks or fiction that Tori typically read back when Jade was dating her. There were three of them out, one called _The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage_ , another called _Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us_ , and one that Jade actually recognized, a new pop psychology book called _The Global Digital Society: How Dopamine, Tribalism and Shame Shaped a Generation_.

Jade opened the drawer to the night stand, wondering if she was going to find a discreet vibrator inside. But there was nothing interesting in there--a pocket knife, an opened three pack of chapstick, some lotion, a deck of cards. And then Jade realized that, behind the pile of books, there was a small purple vibrator, sitting in plain view on its charger.

Well. She guessed Tori didn’t exactly need to keep anything out of sight when she lived alone, but it was still a little surprising to see.

Yeah. This was definitely an adult Tori Vega’s bedroom. It was a little surreal.

She eyed the closet door. Well, she was this deep into it, why not?

Jade opened the door to Tori’s walk-in closet.

At first glance, it seemed like a normal enough closet. A lot of colorful clothes, a tall shelf of shoes. But Jade’s eyes drifted downward and discovered three plastic totes on the floor of the closet.

Three plastic bins full of sex toys.

Her jaw dropped as she stared. There was one tote with a bunch of toys still in their original packaging. Another one actually had a lid and had the word _GOOD_ scrawled on it in marker in what was clearly Tori’s handwriting. The third had _BAD!_ written on the side.

 _Holy shit_ , that was a lot of sex toys. And what did it _mean_?!

Jade moved to pick up one of the ones that was still in its packaging, but stopped herself. Even in a box, it seemed too personal to handle Tori’s sex toys. Even if she had _so many_. It was hard to even make herself look closely enough to examine what they might be, though Jade could tell it was a broad assortment, from the expected dildos and vibrators to even a couple of items that looked like BDSM toys.

Instead, Jade focused on the clothes in the closet. It all looked like a bunch of regular Tori clothes, like, there were a _lot of blazers_. There was a whole section of pink ones of various shades, some sleek, sexy tops, pantsuits. Shoes ranging from cute little Converse sneakers to boots to flats to heels.

But nothing that looked anything like the tuxedo with the pink stripe she’d seen Mistress Tawny wear, or the corset, or those black boots. No, these were all clothes that wouldn’t have been entirely out of place in Tori’s closet in high school, except a bit more mature and, yeah, sexier.

With a final glance at the totes full of sex toys, Jade backed out of Tori’s closet and closed the door.

There was one more room to the house, she knew, because there was a door connected to Tori’s room. She guessed it would lead to whatever had replaced the office.

She steeled herself as she turned the handle. Was she going to walk into a literal dungeon this time?

But what she found was a bathroom.

A _huge_ bathroom.

And she immediately felt foolish. She’d forgotten about a bathroom entirely, and of course there had to have been a master bathroom in the house originally, because the guest bathroom had only been a half bath. But this clearly wasn’t the original, and not just because she knew there used to be an office next to this space. It was modern and it was _gorgeous_.

Jade had time to take in the long bathroom counter, the huge mirror, the glass shower, the deep bathtub, when she heard the doorbell. She hurried to answer it.

The delivery driver stood with a very large, flat package balanced at his side. “I have a package here for Jade West,” he said in a bored tone.

“Uh, I’m Jade West.”

“Okay, I just need you to sign to confirm you’ve received it,” he thrust a hand held digital device at her.

Jade signed on the line and passed it back, eyeing the package in confusion.

“Do you need assistance moving this into your home?”

“No, I’ll manage,” Jade assured him.

He helped her at least lift it through the doorway, and then parted with a, “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Jade wondered if she would ever hear the word “ma’am” the same way again.

She slid it across the floor and leaned it against Tori’s couch. Sure enough, the delivery label listed “Jade West” at this address. She pulled out her PearPhone.

**A package came for me??**

**Oh, good! It arrived!**

Okay, so she guessed that confirmed that this was the package Tori wanted her to wait for. And as she scrutinized the package, it became clear that this was a television.

**This is a TV**

**Yes, for the guest house**

**Seriously??**

**Well, my tenant made me aware of an issue with one of the appliances**

**So I replaced it**

**Have fun setting it up!**

_What the hell, Tori?_ But Jade wasn’t about to argue about it. And she definitely wasn’t actually mad. She carried it to the guest house, trying not to let it drag against the ground, and took it out of the box.

**What should I do with the old TV?**

**I’ll take care of it**

Well, that didn’t fully answer Jade’s question, so she just set it on the floor behind the sofa, for now.

Jade set up the TV in place of the old one (it barely fit on the stand) and immediately went to the video settings to turn off all the motion smoothing features and settings so that the picture didn’t look like total trash. Then, she sat on the couch for a while logging into her streaming apps and such. It was some time before she remembered she’d left her computer in Tori’s house, as well as her coffee, and that she still had clothes in the washing machine.

But after moving everything over to the dryer and heading back to her guest house, Jade identified a feeling that had been brewing throughout the day.

Jade was _kind of_ horny. In the way where she should probably take care of it if she planned to do anything productive with the rest of her day. She was used to this pattern. Especially since she didn’t date that often, she tended to focus on other things--work and writing, primarily--until her body let her know she needed release.

Jade went to the bedroom nook of the guest house and closed the curtain over the extra-wide doorway. It wasn’t the same as having a door, but it at least made it more difficult for anyone to see what she was doing. Especially given that some of Tori’s windows had a clear line of vision to the guest house. Not that she really expected Tori to be home anytime soon. It was really for Jade’s peace of mind.

From the bottom dresser drawer, she retrieved the vibrator she’d bought at The Pleasure Chest earlier in the summer. She actually hadn’t used it yet, because it had seemed far too loud to use in her mother’s house, where the walls were thin enough to hear what felt like _everything_. She kicked off her jeans and her panties (there was no need for modesty when she _finally_ had privacy), then stretched out on her bed and slipped her hand between her legs.

She sighed as her fingers met wetness, closing her eyes and letting her fingers circle lazily, letting her mind wander.

And her mind immediately conjured up images. Her hands, bound at the wrists. A smile of approval in the eyes of an otherwise stoic face. A black leather corset with accents of pink. Leanly muscled arms, a compass tattoo, quick fingers tying rope.

Jade stopped moving her hand. _Fuck, okay_. That wasn’t good.

Probably this was happening because she’d just spent so much time in Tori’s house. And because the Fet Ball had been the last sexually charged space she’d been in. That’s why her mind had gone there.

Jade sighed and reached for her PearPad at the side of her bed, navigating to her ebooks collection, finding the erotic lesbian short story anthology she’d bought recently. When it came to inspiration when she was by herself, Jade had learned a long time ago that reading erotica worked better for her than porn. When she was a teenager, it had been fanfiction, mostly for _The Scissoring_ or _Bite Me University_ , but at this point in her life, there wasn’t much out there for _The Scissoring_ that she didn’t cringe at for being poorly written and _Bite Me University_ held no more appeal at all, for obvious reasons.

Jade hadn’t delved much into the world of fanfiction since those two, especially with dating Beck and then Tori providing a sexual outlet and with having all of the opportunities at Hollywood Arts to satisfy her creative energy. As a single adult, she’d cringed a little at the notion of turning into her mom, who had a shameless display of bodice rippers on her shelves in her office (and belonged to an erotic book club), but eventually, Jade had turned to erotica. And maybe because of her mom’s collection of decidedly heterosexual romance novels, Jade only ever read lesbian erotica.

Or maybe it was just hotter. _Whatever_. Jade pulled up a favorite story (one where two lovers pretended to be other people and slipped into a bathroom at a party to hook up), skipped to the good part, and turned on her vibrator.

The vibrator was loud, the whole thing buzzing in her hand in a way that she knew would eventually make her fingers numb. She teased herself with it at first, letting her eyes roam over the words on her PearPad, delving into the story. Picturing the way one of the women had the other pinned against the door, holding her wrists with one hand, the other hand unbuttoning her pants and teasing her with light touches over her panties. _Ugh_ , Jade hated the word panties, but she could overlook it here.

Jade read over the passage a few times, letting the imagery and the language embed itself in her mind, latching onto the eroticism, until she set her PearPad aside and settled back against her pillows, moving the vibrator over herself more purposefully, thinking of the way one woman had begged for release, the way the other had ordered her to be quiet, threatening to stop touching her if she couldn’t.

But just as Jade felt like she was starting to get close, the vibrator in her hand started dying. The change in pitch was audible, as was the dwindling sensation. Jade let out a frustrated groan, pressing harder, hoping to finish before the vibrator stopped completely, but moments later, she was flinging it across the room in anger, in a way she didn’t think she’d thrown anything since she was a teenager.

 _Fuck_. Guess she’d have to get there the old fashioned way. Luckily, she didn’t usually have a problem with that.

She let her hand fall between her legs, fingers moving. She tried to bring herself back to that bathroom at the party with the couple in the story, but being interrupted had made her lose the flow of the scene and the language and the imagery. Jade wasn’t about to reach over for her PearPad again, though. No, she’d just let her mind do what it wanted at this point, because she was desperate for release, and she didn’t have the patience to build herself back up slowly.

Flashes of imagery. The Mistress binding her wrists. The Mistress stepping on someone. _Fuck it_ , The Mistress wasn’t Tori, not really. The Mistress certainly wasn’t her ex-girlfriend. She could do whatever she liked with her in her imagination.

She let herself imagine the way The Mistress had pinned her against the wall in that staging area at the Fet Ball, without _even touching her_ , letting herself consider what she would’ve wanted to happen next, but it was hard to hold a cohesive fantasy as her orgasm built. Instead, she was back to flashes of thoughts and images. The Mistress leading her around by her wrists. Tori on a yoga mat on her lawn, back bowing into a yoga pose, skin glistening with sweat. Tori’s hungry eyes on her cleavage. Tori touching her in the shower, Tori telling her she wanted to hear her moan, Tori grinding against her stomach, Tori telling her she could come when Tori said she could--

With a guttural groan, Jade’s body arched into her orgasm, her fingers continuing their movements, letting wave upon wave crash over her until she was breathless and boneless, lying on her bed in only a shirt, hand resting on her thigh, eyes closed.

 _Fuck_.

Well. At least she wasn’t horny anymore.

-

Tori came home from work, finding the scent of coffee and a particular, familiar brand of dryer sheets lingering in her house. She headed out to the guest house, curious about the television that had been delivered, and knocked firmly on the door.

“Come in,” she heard Jade’s voice call.

Tori stepped inside, taking in the space. She hadn’t been inside since Jade moved in, and though it looked mostly the same, there were little touches that showed Jade definitely lived here. The French press on the counter, which still had coffee in it. The media shelf set up with all of Jade’s DVDs and Blu-Rays, the bookshelf, full except the middle shelf, which held some old decorative items she recognized from Jade’s bedroom--an animal skull, a turtle shell. Her framed butterfly specimens were balanced on top of the bookshelf and media shelf, other artworks, including her framed lobby card of _Homicidal_ that Grandma Jean had given her so long ago, were leaning against the baseboards, as if she were considering hanging them there but hadn’t yet. The television was on, and the ominous music and tense voices told Tori it was likely a horror movie.

Jade herself was in the bedroom nook, lying on her bed, the curtain open, propped up against her pillows with her PearBook next to her. Tori approached and stood near the foot of the bed, turning to look at the TV. It was in the corner across the living room area, right where the old one had been, angled so that it could be seen from the couch and the bed. “I could’ve been doing anything in here,” Jade snarked at her.

“You said to come in!” Tori shot her a mock glare, and then turned back to the TV with a smile, “This is a much better size to watch from bed, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jade grunted, “It’s almost too big. But not. Kinda perfect, to be honest.”

Tori thought it actually might be too big for the little guest house but she was glad Jade didn’t think so, or at least wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. What even was that expression, anyway? Was Tori the gift horse?

She scanned around the space, searching for what else Jade might have done when she spotted something on the floor in the corner of the bedroom nook. She tried to hide her smirk, but Jade noticed. “What?”

“How’s that cheap vibrator working for you?” Tori asked.

Jade lifted her head to follow Tori’s gaze, then rolled her eyes. “It’s garbage.”

“I’m not going to say I told you so--”

“Then don’t.”

“Did it even last two months?”

Jade sighed dramatically. “No. I didn’t even use it at my mom’s house because it was _so loud_.”

“I can sympathize with that.” Tori remembered that old lipstick-shaped vibrator she’d bought as a teenager, and how terrified she’d been to actually use it because of that very issue.

“So yeah. It basically died right away,” Jade scowled.

Tori’s eyes widened, “Was today the first time you used it?” Okay, maybe this was getting invasive. She was about to say never mind when Jade answered.

“How do you know it was today? I could’ve thrown it against the wall any time.”

“Because I know you, and even if it’s trash, you wouldn’t let it become part of the decor for long.”

Jade shrugged, but she was eyeing Tori, not even watching the TV anymore. “Speaking of which, I have a question.”

“Oh?”

“Why do you have three totes full of sex toys in your closet?” she asked, sitting up.

Tori felt herself smiling triumphantly, “So you _did_ snoop!”

Jade didn’t even look embarrassed, “You _know me_ , so you knew I would.”

“Sometimes, when you snoop, you find out stuff you can’t unknow,” Tori replied cryptically.

“Okay, well now I _know_ , and I just want to know _why_.”

Tori figured she might as well tell her. It was job related, but it related to things Jade had already guessed. “Well, part of my work as The Pleasure Professor involves rating and reviewing sex toys.”

“ _What_?”

“Yeah, companies send me free toys in exchange for pull quotes that they can use on their websites or store websites or whatever.”

Jade eyes were wide, “So you’ve used _all_ of those toys?”

“Except the unopened ones, yeah.”

“What’s with the ‘Bad’ toys?”

Tori shot Jade an incredulous look, “They were terrible. I have to take them to a recycling center.”

“And the ‘Good’ ones?”

Tori smirked, “Worth some repeated uses.”

Jade was staring, “How often do you masturbate?” she asked incredulously.

Okay, maybe they were both a bit invasive about this. But Tori wasn’t offended. “I don’t know. Like a normal amount.”

Jade snorted, “ _Sure_ ,” she muttered.

Tori crossed her arms, “Normal is relative, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jade said, leaning back against her pillows and returning her attention to the TV. “Anyway, thanks,” she said absently.

“You’re welcome,” Tori smiled, “I’m glad it’s working out for you.”

She decided to leave Jade alone, and picked up the old TV that was sitting on the floor. She’d take it to the electronics recycling center with the bin of bad sex toys.

On Sunday morning, she joined Jade at the picnic table for coffee. They’d seen each other a bit since Wednesday evening, for morning coffee or even when Jade came out to share a couple hits from Tori’s vape the previous evening, but conversation had stayed pretty light.

This morning, though, Jade squinted at her, “So, what’s for dinner tonight?”

It was the first real indication that Jade was willing to continue the Sunday dinners with her, in spite of the absolute disaster last week had been. Tori felt relieved and eager. “I was thinking about making enchilada casserole.”

“No idea what that is, but it sounds great,” Jade replied.

With the uncertainty of her interactions with Jade, Tori realized she had never gone to get any wine, and vocalized it now. “I still have to go buy some wine to go with it, though.”

“Why don’t you let me take care of the wine, since you’re the one doing all the cooking?” Jade suggested.

“Okay,” Tori smiled, “That would be great, actually.”

“I’m no expert, but I’ll try to find something that would pair well with enchiladas,” Jade said with a small smile.

“It’s okay,” Tori laughed, “I just do a ZapLook search anyway, you can’t choose any worse than I do.”

Without having to go out to find wine, Tori was able to spend some time catching up on other housework and relaxing before she started cooking in the late afternoon. Though dinner wasn’t really scheduled for any particular time, it was just about ready when she saw Jade outside, placing the bottle of wine on the table. She met Tori’s eyes questioningly through the kitchen window, and Tori nodded and gestured for her to come inside.

Jade stepped in, “Do you have wine glasses? And a wine opener? I haven’t really had reason to buy either of those yet.”

“Of course,” Tori replied, getting both out of her cupboards and placing them on the counter, “Everything’s just about ready, so we can start taking things out.”

Together, they had the table set with everything in minutes, Jade twisting the corkscrew as Tori poured them each a glass of water. The spread, again, felt like too much food and Tori hoped they actually had a chance to eat the full meal, this time. She was about to sit when she remembered one last thing she'd meant to bring out and immediately retrieved it from the coffee table in the living room.

"Here you go," she said, finally sitting on her side of the table.

Jade reached out to accept what Tori was offering, a box about the size of a large paperback. Only this wasn't literature, it was, "A vibrator?" Jade asked, eyebrow peaked.

"Since your other one was such a disappointment."

"Is this from your stash?" Jade sounded amused and a little incredulous.

"Is it a problem if it is?"

"Don't you have to _review it_?"

"It's a duplicate. Sometimes that happens."

"Yeah, wow, what a problem to have."

"Anyway, this one is a reliable mid-grade. I know it's not really penetrative, which..." Tori wondered how much she should say based on her assumptions about whether or not Jade's preferences regarding penetration were the same as they had been, ten years ago. Maybe that was a little much for dinner conversation between two friends. "Anyway, it's rechargeable, it has a least a dozen different vibration types--"

Jade had already ripped off the plastic and was digging the toy out of the packaging. The rechargeable units almost always had a bit of charge in them right out of the box and this was no exception. "You know, I never forgot about this trick," Jade said, clicking the vibrator on and touching it to the tip of her nose, if only for a brief moment. "Yeah, that's...uh, much better than the other one." As quickly as she'd opened it all, Jade had it packed away and placed the box somewhere next to her on the picnic bench.

They each loaded their plates and began the meal, Tori explaining just what was in the enchilada casserole, Jade happily complimenting the taste of it all, both of them pleased with the Pinot Grigio Jade had picked up to pair with the food. It was already leagues ahead of last week's dinner, which wasn't that hard because it just meant that no arguments had broken out and no one had left the table.

"I think having you here is really making me appreciate the patio more," Tori observed. "I'd been using it for coffee and vaping, but I think I really like having dinner out here." She glanced at the covering that stretched between the main house and the guest house. "Maybe I'll get some cute lights to hang up there."

"I'm actually surprised you didn't already do that. You're kind of a sucker for things that shine," Jade commented. Her own gaze drifted to the yard. "Hey, I'm pretty sure I heard the gardeners here the day I was waiting for the TV but..." She gestured to the lawn, which showed a couple week's worth of growth.

"Oh, they just do the front. I do the back whenever I get a chance. I prefer keeping the side gate locked, just because of the nature of...business."

"Wait, do people just show up here looking for you?"

"It hasn't happened in a long time." Tori sipped her wine. "I used to work out of the guest house. It was only ever personal referrals but--"

"Hold up. You worked out of this guest house?" Jade pointed over her shoulder at the building behind her.

"For a while, when I was just starting out as a pro-domme, yes."

"So I could have been haunted by the ghost of BDSM this whole time?"

"I didn't spank anyone _to death_ in there!"

Jade smirked at her, a silent challenge to chill. "I guess it's not haunted," she said. "Anyway, I can take care of the backyard for you."

"You don't have to do that." Sure, Tori was behind on lawn upkeep, but it had been a weird few weeks, and she was still trying to figure out Jade’s schedule so that she wouldn’t interrupt any of her work.

"I don't _have to_ , but I'd like to contribute a little bit since you're not charging me any rent. It's not very big and I like the idea of having power over spinning blades."

If Jade really wanted to, Tori wasn't going to fight her on it. "All right. After dinner, I'll show you the shed. It's where I keep all the bladed yard tools."

"Now you're really speaking my language," Jade smiled.

They continued to eat, Tori checking in again about the television, Jade commenting on feedback from her photos for the Fet Ball (all good, by the way). But the small talk fell away and Tori found herself wanting to connect a little more deeply.

"Hey, um...last week really derailed and...I don't want that to happen again."

"Neither do I," Jade countered, quietly.

"So, I was hoping maybe, if you wanted to, we could actually catch up. Like," Tori considered how to voice her thoughts on this. "I just...I'd like to know whatever you want to tell me about your time in New York. Making your movie. Even...Lana. If you want to. I just don't want it to seem like I don't care about any of that. I do."

Jade regarded her a moment. "You really want to know about my relationship with Lana?"

"Sure, if you want to talk about it." Tori was incredibly curious. She knew there was a possibility she might be jealous of what she heard, but this was also what friends talked about. It had also been years since she and Jade were anything.

"Well," Jade lightly tapped her fork against her plate. "Lana's really cool. We still follow each other on Spectrogram, we message each other every once in a while. But we met on the movie, started spending time together, and by the time we finished post-production, it was kind of obvious that we liked each other." Blue eyes stared into Tori's, a check-in. But Tori just nodded, listening. "We lived together for a while...she had the coolest apartment on the Upper East Side. For a while, it really felt like I was living some kind of fucking dream life. Dating Lana Blackwood, living in New York, promoting my movie." Jade's voice took on a lilt as she fingered the stem of her wine glass. "Kind of wonder if it even actually happened, sometimes."

"It did," Tori reassured her. "I mean, I saw it. Your movie."

"Yeah?" That pulled Jade's attention back across the table.

"A couple years ago." She wondered if she needed to say why she'd waited, but Jade had to know it was complicated. "It's really good, Jade."

"Thanks," she replied, softly. Quiet settled between them and Tori wondered if maybe that would be it for this segment of the night, the one where they talked about their pasts to each other. But then Jade asked, "What about you? I know you dated Addison for a while."

Tori chuckled. "I didn't date her. I mean, yes, we went out and attended events and...even hooked up but...we didn't date."

"I’m...having a hard time understanding how what you just described isn't dating."

Okay, this wasn't something Tori had planned to get into, but why the hell not. "Addison and I definitely had sexual chemistry but we just never entered relationship territory. Basically friends with benefits. Which our management teams loved and--"

Jade groaned. "And they asked you to play it up for the cameras." She shook her head. "I hate that shit. Like, it's so gross." Quickly, she added, "I mean, you're not gross...it's just stupid that they even ask people to do it."

"I knew what you meant. And...I agree. That was the whole premise behind our meeting in Toronto."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

That had been an ugly fight and Tori didn't particularly want to relive it. "Anyway, I don't really date regularly. Or at all."

"Not even after that?"

Tori shrugged. "I came back to LA and was seeing Patrice for a little while, but other than that, it's just been work, mostly."

"Wait, seeing Patrice like...as in..."

Tori watched the realization creep across Jade's face. "As in, we slept together for a little while." She scrutinized Jade carefully, wondering if this detail of her past would be difficult for her to hear.

Jade's eyes were wide as she lifted her wine glass to her lips and took a long sip. "When you said Patrice _introduced_ you to the BDSM community...I thought...well, I thought you meant she gave you a pamphlet."

"Oh, she introduced me to that stuff after,” Tori clarified, “This was just sex. The stuff with her and Janet came later."

There was a choking sound in Jade's throat. "Um, who's Janet?"

"Patrice's primary partner. She was looking to be dominated by two..." Perhaps this _was_ a little much to lay out, all at once.

"Tori, I can tell you're thinking about pulling back, but just tell me whatever you were about to say," Jade sighed.

Quickly, Tori said, "Janet wanted to be dominated by two women and that's when I topped for the first time."

"But that's not the same as sex?"

"Not in that instance, no. That part happened after."

"So. You topped Patrice's wife--"

"Primary partner."

"--and then _had a threesome_?"

"Pretty much."

"Mmkay." Jade downed what was left in her glass and poured herself another.

Tori waited for more, possibly some fallout, but Jade was silent. Not creepy silent or angry silent, just calm. "Are you...um..."

"I'm fine, Tori. We're adults. It was just...unexpected."

“I could say the same about you and Lana,” Tori chuckled.

“Experiencing it felt the same way,” Jade revealed, a gentle, wistful smile tugging her lips. Something about it made Tori’s chest pang, briefly, but then Jade turned curious eyes back to her, “So you didn’t date Addison, but you did date Patrice?”

“Not really,” Tori replied.

“So you had two long-term friends with benefits arrangements?” Jade confirmed, and Tori nodded, “But you really haven’t dated otherwise?”

They’d kind of talked about this already, but Tori understood how it sounded, too. Jade had fallen in love, with someone as cool and beautiful as Lana Blackwood, no less, and Tori had just...fucked around. “I mean, it’s not for lack of trying. I’d meet women on scissHER sometimes, but--”

“Wait,” Jade interrupted, “What’s scissHER?”

Tori laughed, “You’ve never heard of scissHER?” Jade simply stared, refusing to let Tori tease her about it. “It’s a dating app for queer women and nonbinary people.”

“Interesting,” Jade lifted her PearPhone and immediately started tapping away.

“You haven’t done app dating?” Tori asked curiously.

Jade shook her head. “Nope. The people I dated were ones I met, usually through work. But now might be a good time to start.”

“It’s...I mean, most of the stereotypes about app dating are true, I’ll put it that way.” She really didn’t need to go into her greatest hits from her hookups over the years.

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I never did it,” Jade glanced up at Tori in amusement, “But s _cissHER_? How can I not?”

Tori laughed, “It does seem to be right up your alley.”

They were definitely finished eating, just lingering. Tori started wondering if she should start planning dessert for these dinners, so they’d have more time to catch up over their Sunday meals. When they finished their wine, Jade helped her carry in all the dishes and Tori left them in the sink, for now. “Did you want to show me the shed?” Jade asked.

Tori had almost forgotten, “Oh, yeah, of course.” She grabbed her keys and guided Jade out to the shed, unlocking the padlock on it. The second copy of the padlock key was still on her keyring, so she managed to take it off to give to Jade, who slipped it into her pocket. She opened up the shed and gestured, “Here we go.”

Inside was the lawnmower, a tool wall, a shelf with some power tools, an old spanking bench, and a few plastic crates she was storing for her grandma. She saw Jade examining everything curiously.

“Do you...know how to use a lawnmower?” she asked. Jade didn’t exactly seem like the yardwork type.

“Sure,” Jade said easily. Tori suspected she only knew in theory, but Jade was already kind of looking past the lawnmower at the spanking bench. “What’s that?” Tori could understand the question. It would look kind of strange if you didn’t know what it was for. It was like a low stool, with an upper tier and a lower tier. She’d have her bottoms kneel on the lower step and lean on the upper one, both of which were padded for comfort.

“Oh, it’s an old spanking bench. I tried to get rid of it on SplashFace Local a few months ago, but there were no takers.”

Jade’s eyes flashed to hers for a moment, “Okay, one, I think I saw that listing, and two, can I have it?”

“Uh,” Tori eyed her in amusement, “Sure, but can I ask why?”

“I think it would be a nice place to sit and lace up my boots.”

Tori couldn’t help it; she laughed. “You are...so you.” She lifted the spanking bench out from behind the lawnmower and placed it outside the shed. It was black leather with silver stud work, so she could absolutely see why it had appealed to Jade.

Jade stared at it, “I don’t even get how this would…” she stopped talking as Tori knelt on it.

“See, you have them kneel on the lower part and balance on the upper part,” she thrust out her rear for emphasis. She gestured to the little rings that hung on either side of each step of the furniture, “And these let you tie someone to it.”

“I see,” Jade said quietly, turning her gaze back into the shed. “Wait,” she said a moment later, “Is that…?”

Tori stood up from the bench, “What?” Jade gestured to one of the clear totes she was storing for Grandma Jean. “Oh, yeah,” Tori remembered that this one contained stuff Jade had seen before. “I’m storing Grandma Jean’s old horror movie memorabilia for her.”

“Cool,” Jade said, “Hey, do you think I could take it to her for the next Elderly Acres Horror Club? I wonder if any of the other elderlies would like to see it.”

“Sure,” Tori replied, “I’m sure she’d like to go through it again, too.”

She helped Jade carry the tote and the spanking bench into the guest house. Jade put the tote down in front of her couch and just directed Tori to put the spanking bench by the door. “See?” Jade said, tucking a couple of pairs of boots under the bench, “It’s perfect.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t house any spirits of BDSM,” Tori smirked at her.

Jade rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Her eyes lingered on Tori, in her doorway. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“You’re welcome,” Tori smiled, “I’m glad you could join me.”

Tori started across her lawn to lock the shed back up, and as she turned to walk back into her house, she saw Jade dart out of the guest house. She watched, a little confused, but her expression softened into a grin as she saw Jade pick up the vibrator she’d left on the picnic table bench.

Shooting a quirked eyebrow at Tori, Jade strode back into her guest house, leaving Tori with the certainty that her ex-girlfriend was _definitely_ going to masturbate in there. At some point. In fact, Tori knew she already had.

It was none of her business. Tori headed back into her own house, trying to brush away the images of Jade coming beneath her, the night of the reunion.

Maybe it was time to review another sex toy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Don’t Let Me Get Away_ by Hey, King! 
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> Wednesday afternoon, Tori came home from work and could hear the whirr of the electric mower coming from the backyard. From the kitchen window, she could see Jade in a sleeveless t-shirt and sunglasses, pushing the mower back and forth across the grass.
> 
> It was an unexpected look for Jade, to be doing yardwork, but she seemed to be handling the lawn mower just fine and...she looked pretty good doing it. Tori reminded herself not to stare, that it wasn’t intended to be a show. But...there was something about the way Jade’s arms flexed as she pushed the machine, maybe even glistening a bit. Not that Jade ever sweat (she _did_ , she just never admitted it). Okay, but Tori couldn’t just peer out her window and objectify her ex-girlfriend. That wasn’t part of their arrangement.
> 
> Fortunately, the yard was so small that the entire project was over fairly quickly, so Tori was given reprieve when Jade dumped the grass clippings into the yard waste bin and tucked the mower back into the shed. Tori eventually pulled herself away from the window, retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge. Behind her she heard a knock on the glass.
> 
> “Hope you enjoyed the show, Vega,” called Jade’s voice from outside.
> 
> If this was going to happen regularly, Tori was going to have to work on being a more discrete voyeur. The backyard was technically neutral territory so it wasn’t unethical for her to look out the window and see Jade out there. Tori did yoga all the time in the backyard and she was almost certain she’d caught Jade watching her (though she still wasn’t _sure_ ). It was natural to want to look at someone you found aesthetically attractive. Though, if they were working in being friends, maybe ogling each other wasn’t ideal.
> 
> She wondered if Jade would be willing to discuss this at dinner.


	8. Five: When I was young, I thought the world of you, I was dumb to let you drift away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We realize the updates are a little more spread out this time around, but we’re still keeping them nice and hearty for you. Thanks for hanging on.
> 
> _This chapter includes depictions of pet play and impact play._

On Monday, Jade met up with Chandra at Jet Brew in the afternoon before going to a photography job. They spent some time talking about work for a bit, catching each other up on the kinds of things they’d worked on since film school.

But Jade was curious about something else, too. Chandra had been at the Fet Ball. And though Jade had talked to Tori about some of this, she also wondered if Chandra might have some insight on the scene, and maybe, on The Mistress herself.

“So,” Jade drawled, “The Fet Ball.”

Chandra lit up, “Yeah, that was a great night.”

“I still don’t know how you saw me, but then I didn’t see you. What were you wearing?”

“Hold on, I have a picture,” Chandra tapped at her PearPhone, then showed Jade the screen. She’d been wearing a black corset that looked like either vinyl or leather, and tight black pants. “That, plus a full mask,” Chandra explained.

Jade nodded, “Yeah, then you looked like pretty much everyone else there,” she commented.

“Pretty much,” Chandra chuckled, pulling her phone back, “Since I mostly go to those kinds of events to watch, I don’t really draw attention to myself. You were hard to miss, though, since you got up in front of everyone for the demonstration with Mistress Tawny. I wasn’t _positive_ it was you, because you were doing a weird voice, but I could see color streaks in your hair and red combat boots, so it seemed like a pretty safe bet.”

Jade digested this, the notion of Chandra being there to watch. She’d never known that Chandra was into anything like this, and as far as she knew, Chandra was straight. The crowd had certainly contained people from all walks of life, but given that pretty much all the board members had identified as queer in some capacity, Jade thought this might have been a mostly queer event. She decided this line of thought might be a little bit personal to start out with, so she settled on, “So, what do you know about Mistress Tawny?”

Chandra tilted her head to the side, “I’ve seen her at a few events. I follow her on Spectrogram--”

“She has a Spectrogram?”

“Sure, just search Mistress Tawny Swain. I think her username is actually _FungeonMaster_?” Chandra watched as Jade immediately searched on her PearPhone, and yep, there was Mistress Tawny’s account. Which...already followed Jade’s professional account?

It was private, so Jade sent a follow request, then glanced back up at Chandra. “Sorry. You were saying? You’ve seen her at other events?”

Chandra grinned, “Sounds like someone has a crush on The Mistress.”

Jade rolled her eyes, “It’s...complicated. Let’s not get into it.”

Chandra shook her head, “Sure, whatever, Jade. Anyway. Yeah, I’ve seen her at events. She’s great to watch, she’s just, really fun, you know?”

“Well, she _is_ the Fun Dominatrix,” Jade drawled.

“She lives up to it, though. I’ve even gotten paddled by her a couple of times, and I don’t normally participate much, but she just...it feels safe with her, you know?”

Jade raised her eyebrows, “Did you participate in the Spank-Off?” she asked mischievously.

“Maybe,” Chandra replied in the same tone, “Mistress Tawny _might_ have gotten my vote. I mean, Mistress Deidre is great, too, but...I guess I’m just a Mistress Tawny fan.”

Jade decided she should just ask at this point, “I always thought you were straight.”

Chandra blinked. “I am. I mean, mostly, anyway. But in kink-land, orientation tends to get a little more flexible for some people, because sometimes it’s less about gender and genitalia and more about power. I’ve known some straight guys who preferred playing with other men because they hit harder, for instance.”

“Huh,” Jade said. That hadn’t ever really occurred to her. “Okay, I get that.”

“So what about you?” Chandra asked, “I know you said you were there to work, but you also stayed a little bit. And participated.” She wrapped her hands around her coffee cup. “So what are you into?”

“I...don’t really know,” Jade admitted, “I was just curious, I guess.” She remembered, again, the way it had felt for The Mistress to bind her wrists, but how much of that was the familiarity and proximity to someone she’d been intimate with, and how much was the act itself? She still wasn’t sure.

Chandra watched her a moment, “Well, hey, if you ever want to go to another event, let me know. I could get you in.”

“Thanks,” Jade replied, “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

They parted not long after, and Jade had some time, so she got in line to buy a second cup of coffee to take with her. She was starting to get a little low on coffee beans, and she debated buying some while she was here, but the truth was, she was pretty disappointed in Jet Brew coffee these days. After finding some great local coffee shops in New York and Atlanta that she frequented when she was there, she’d started to really reconsider what good coffee was. It was a journey she’d started on as a teenager, even, that first time she’d sipped the coffee at YasssHomo and realized what she’d been missing. And now, after whatever deliciousness Tori had been brewing at her house, it was hard to enjoy Jet Brew much at all. That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to get another cup of coffee, however, because that was still necessary.

But she didn’t buy the beans. Instead, she opened Spectrogram idly, and she noticed right away that her request to follow The Mistress had been approved. She went to the page immediately.

It made sense that she hadn’t ever noticed this account. Jade’s professional account had kind of a lot of followers, so she didn’t always really scrutinize everyone, and with a name like FungeonMaster and a profile picture that was just a black heeled boot, it wouldn’t have caught Jade’s attention. But on her actual page, Mistress Tawny Swain appeared as her name, along with a link to her website. Her posts were mostly pictures of her in different outfits and images of BDSM toys and gear.

Jade sent the account a message that just said _found you_. Obviously, she knew that Tori knew she’d found the account, since likely she was the one who’d approved her follow request, but it was meant to be a little playful.

Jade collected her coffee and headed out to her car. She wondered if Tori had other accounts, and pulled her phone back out to search for The Pleasure Professor.

Aaaand, yep. PleasureProf was an account that also...followed Jade. Yet another one that had slipped under her radar. It wasn’t locked, but the profile picture was just a folded lab coat with a pair of glasses on top. Again, nothing that would attract her attention.

Jade followed this account, too, and scrolled through the posts. It seemed to be mostly used for announcing when videos were posted, talking about what topics would be covered next. Most of the images were of Tori’s face, apparently stills from the videos, interspersed with images of sex toys, anatomical diagrams, and screenshots of The Pleasure Professor schooling people in the comments sections of her videos. Okay, Jade hadn’t really looked at the comments when she’d watched her videos, but damn, she clearly should have.

The Pleasure Professor had a Spectrogram Story active, and Jade opened it curiously. It was from about sixteen hours ago, and she could see Tori’s hands holding a small, oddly-shaped pink sex toy, and then she heard Tori’s calm, measured voice. “I recently tried out The Pink Lady, a clitoral suction vibrator, and I have to say, I am very impressed. See, this part here,” Tori turned the toy to show what looked like a small hole, “actually provides suction on or around the clitoral area while vibrating, and it feels amazing. You can make it more or less intense here,” she showed the power buttons on the handle. “And it’s rechargeable, made of body-safe silicone. I highly recommend this toy. Use coupon code PleasureProf for ten percent off if you purchase through The Pleasure Chest.” At this, two thumbs up emojis appeared on the screen.

 _Oh, geez_. A front row seat to Tori’s sex toy reviews. So that meant Tori was...last night...

Jade pushed the thought aside because she had one other name to look for. It was a longshot, but she searched for Mary Jane.

And actually, an account called MoustacheMaryJane came right up because, of course, it already followed Jade.

Jade clicked on this one. The profile picture was just a marijuana leaf topped with a beanie and long brown hair. And, right in the middle of the leaf-face was a curly moustache. There was a website under the name Mary Jane, not one that looked at all familiar to Jade. This page had a lot of weed memes, close up pictures of beautiful bud showcasing the colorful hairs and crystals, images of treats from Holly’s Herbal Remedies, and some marijuana advocacy posts. Every once in a while, there’d be a picture of Tori herself, sometimes with another person, and she was always dressed the way she was at the Cannabis Cup.

 _Okay_. So she’d found Mary Jane’s online presence, as well.

Jade knew she had to get moving to make it to her job on time, which for her, was always early. But she wanted to check back at The Mistress’s page to see when she’d last posted.

But she searched, and the page was just...gone.

 _What the fuck_?

Sighing, frustrated that she had no more time to worry about it now, Jade took one more sip of her coffee, placed it in her cup holder, and started getting ready to drive to her gig.

That evening, when she was back home, she was in her kitchen, digging around and trying to decide what to eat for dinner. She noticed when she closed the fridge door that Tori was sitting out on the patio, vape in hand.

Jade opened the door and poked her head out. “Are you mad at me?” she asked.

Tori frowned mid-inhale, and let out her puff of vapor a moment later. “No. Why would I be mad at you?”

“I think I was blocked on Spectrogram, so…” She stepped out onto the patio, closing the door behind her.

“Oh.” Something about Tori’s posture straightened a little, “You must’ve done something to piss off The Mistress.” She held out the vape to Jade questioningly.

Jade sighed and sat down across from her, accepting the vape and taking a hit before passing it back. “Okay, well, tell _The Mistress_ \--”

Tori laughed, “Yeah, no, Jade, she’s not in right now.” She took a deep inhale.

“Well, how am I supposed to...apologize, or whatever?” Jade scowled at Tori. Her adherence to the separation of her personas was a little maddening sometimes.

“Maybe it’s only a twenty-four hour block,” Tori suggested mischievously, watching Jade’s mouth as she took a draw. “Check back tomorrow and she might give you another chance.”

Jade groaned, “Oh my god. You’re insane, you know that?” She passed it back.

Tori tilted her head, vapor coming out with her words, “You’re the one who was impolite to a dominatrix, so…” she spread her hands, then offered the vape back to Jade.

Jade took one more hit. “I’m good,” she told Tori, “Thanks, by the way.”

“Sure.” Tori’s head turned, and she gazed out at her lawn, at the grass that was getting tall, but her expression was serene.

Jade watched her for a long moment, taking in her glasses, the slope of her jaw, the dimples beneath her cheekbones. “How long have you followed me?” she asked.

Tori turned back to her, then shrugged. “A while, I guess. I don’t really have a personal account, so. And you take gorgeous pictures.”

“With all three accounts?” Jade asked pointedly.

Tori smiled slightly, in a way that made Jade wonder if there were more accounts she hadn’t discovered yet. “Why not? Makes it harder to miss a post.” Jade stared at her for a moment, then Tori slowly rose from the picnic bench. “Have a good night, Jade.”

Jade watched her go. God, she was _so weird_.

-

Wednesday afternoon, Tori came home from work and could hear the whirr of the electric mower coming from the backyard. From the kitchen window, she could see Jade in a sleeveless t-shirt and sunglasses, pushing the mower back and forth across the grass.

It was an unexpected look for Jade, to be doing yard work, but she seemed to be handling the lawn mower just fine and...she looked pretty good doing it. Tori reminded herself not to stare, that it wasn’t intended to be a show. But...there was something about the way Jade’s arms flexed as she pushed the machine, maybe even glistening a bit. Not that Jade ever sweat (well, in Tori’s experience, she definitely _did_ , she just never admitted it). Okay, but Tori couldn’t just peer out her window and objectify her ex-girlfriend.

That wasn’t part of their arrangement.

Fortunately, the yard was so small that the entire project was over fairly quickly, so Tori was given reprieve when Jade dumped the grass clippings into the yard waste bin and tucked the mower back into the shed. Tori eventually pulled herself away from the window, retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge. Behind her she heard a knock on the glass.

“Hope you enjoyed the show, Vega,” called Jade’s voice from outside.

If this was going to happen regularly, Tori was going to have to work on being a more discreet voyeur. The backyard was technically neutral territory so it wasn’t unethical for her to look out the window and see Jade out there. Tori did yoga all the time in the backyard and she was almost certain she’d caught Jade watching her (though she still wasn’t _sure_ ). It was natural to want to look at someone you found aesthetically attractive. Though, if they were working in being friends, maybe ogling each other wasn’t ideal.

She wondered if Jade would be willing to discuss this at dinner.

For now, though, Tori had some excess erotic energy churning through her that she figured she should take care of. She drank some of her water, considering. She should review another toy, since she still had several that needed her attention.

She headed into her bedroom, making sure to close the curtains, since some of her windows definitely faced the guest house. She opened her closet and pulled out the tote of unused toys, trying to decide which one to try out. Damn, the suction toy the other night had been _great_. Maybe she should try a penetrative toy this time. She’d been sent a vibrating butt plug...but nah, she wasn’t really feeling that. Instead, she pulled out a silicone vibrating dildo with a lot of texture on the shaft.

Tori took the time to get set up, cleaning the toy, getting some lube, taking off her clothes. Just the act of preparing to masturbate was ritualistic in a way that it was kind of arousing all on its own. She pulled out her PearPad and then hesitated. She lived alone, and hadn’t worried about anyone overhearing what she was watching for a very long time, but somehow, the knowledge that Jade was in the guest house made her more cautious. She was hesitant to even use her wireless headphones, just in case her Bluetooth accidentally connected to something else and started playing porn sounds on something like...that little speaker she sometimes took out to the picnic table in the evenings. Had she left it out there?

Tori wasn’t sure. So she slipped naked out of her room, glancing down the hall in case Jade was in her house for some reason, and dug her old wired earbuds out of her desk drawer before scampering back into her room. Back on her bed, she plugged in her headphones.

One of the perks of Tori’s work was that she had access to a lot of feminist porn. There was a particular kind of porn she preferred, which involved performers letting cameras into their actual sex lives instead of performing _for_ the cameras. It meant she was definitely watching people having sex, but the focus was less on the genital stimulation or penetration and more on the affection between the two individuals. There was a performative aspect to it, to be sure, but the fact that it felt so much more genuine made it that much more erotic to Tori. She had a lot of sex and sexual expression in her life, so she liked to indulge in someone else’s romantic connection when she could.

Tori pulled up a video featuring two women who made queer feminist porn for a living but were also in a relationship in life. She started the video, watching the women kiss and discuss what they wanted to do in bed together as their clothes came off. Tori began touching herself. Generally, she took some time to get warmed up before she tried a new toy, especially a penetrative one, but she realized quickly that she was already very aroused, so she skipped ahead in her video and picked up her toy, taking a moment to apply a little bit of lube.

Moments later, Tori was watching the two women, nude, grinding on each other as they kissed, the affection of their kisses and the motion of their bodies giving Tori an eroticism to latch onto, while Tori slowly slipped the vibrating toy inside herself. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself focus on the sensation provided by the toy itself, the way the ridges on the material felt, the way the low vibration setting seemed to fill her. Okay, _yeah_ , that was some quality rumbly vibration. She tried a few of the different vibration settings, watching the video, letting her imagination move with the woman grinding against her partner’s thigh, feeling herself clench in reaction as she chose the setting on the toy that felt best.

But soon, Tori set her PearPad aside so that she could stimulate her clit as she used the toy. She let her thoughts drift to the women in the video, to the way their delight in each other translated to eroticism, to the way they moved together, to the large breasts one of the performers had and the way her partner kissed them, practically worshipped them. But although everything felt _good_ , Tori wasn’t getting any closer to orgasm.

Well, she knew it didn’t have to do with the toy, so she changed things up a bit. It wasn’t always easiest for her to come lying on her back, so instead she moved so that she was kneeling over the toy, still using her hand to move it, but adding some hip motion as well, fingers moving over her clit. She tried to bring back the mindset of the women she was watching, because sometimes it was hard not to get caught up in the methodical exploration of a sex toy, which wasn’t all that sexy. She needed to engage her brain again.

But she found her thoughts drifting from the women to the image of Jade, glistening, arms flexing as she pushed the mower around Tori’s yard.

 _Fuck_. The reaction in her body was almost instantaneous, and she felt herself clenching around the toy. Tori tipped her head back, letting the thoughts continue, because it was _working_ , and she was _working_ , and if it was for work, then she could think about whatever she wanted.

The porn performers grinding together immediately shifted, and Tori remembered the night of the reunion, the way she’d ground against Jade, edging them both, making Jade so desperate for release she’d almost begged for it, the thrill of it filling Tori’s chest. _Fuck_. It wasn’t the first time this memory had surfaced since that night, and in Tori’s mind, it was only natural, since it was her last sexual encounter. But it was more potent this time, vivid in detail, then shifted to when Tori was grinding on Jade’s stomach ( _fuck_ she’d come all over Jade that night), the way Jade watched hungrily, touched her, told her she wanted to feel her come against her…

Tori let her hips sink onto the toy as she began to come, trying to continue the short, deep thrusts as she tipped forward, balancing, letting the vibrations inside her spur her orgasm, and she rode it out, groaning and whimpering, until she settled back against her pillows, unfolding her shaky legs, slowly withdrawing the toy and turning it off.

Tori let her mind stay blissfully blank as she cleaned up and recovered from her masturbation session, idly scripting the review of the sex toy in the back of her mind. She had learned to appreciate penetrative toys over time, though they tended not to give her the best orgasms. This one had been pretty great, however, and Tori’s legs still shook a little for long minutes after.

It didn’t _really_ bother her that she’d been thinking of Jade. In a way, it made perfect sense that she was. Tori tended to think of previous sexual encounters during masturbation, anyway, and her last one had been with Jade. Jade had even inspired this masturbation session, along with residual erotic energy from Tori’s work day, and that was okay. Tori was allowed to fantasize. As Patrice had told her so long ago, as long as she didn’t treat anyone badly or differently because of her fantasies, it was okay to have them, and Tori had taken that to heart. Ogling Jade was different, because it involved Jade herself, and Tori possibly putting her in an uncomfortable position. But fantasy was its own beast, and trying to police it was risky.

That didn’t mean she should make a habit of it, though, especially if Jade continued to live in her backyard. The possibility of treating her differently became riskier in that situation. Though, Tori figured, when reviewing sex toys for work, maybe she should cut herself some slack. After all, part of what had made the suction toy she’d reviewed over the weekend so great was remembering Jade going down on her. Damn, no one ever could get her off through oral quite like Jade.

When Tori was dressed, and the toy was clean and dry, she began a Spectrogram story showing the toy. “I tried out this Fill Me Up Buttercup, and it was pretty great. It’s a body safe silicone toy--so use water based lube with it--and it has a great rumbly vibration quality, which many people prefer over buzzy vibrations. Multiple settings, too, so you can definitely find one that works for you. I know I did. Use coupon code PleasureProf for ten percent off if you purchase it through The Pleasure Chest.”

She’d type up her review to send to the company later. Because right now, she was hungry.

The next day, Tori was at work. Or really, Mistress Tawny was at work. Her current client was Kris, whose session was a pet play scene. They’d already walked on a leash all around the Fungeon, and played fetch, during which she had Kris obey Mistress Tawny’s commands and scolded them when they didn’t. Then Kris was given some time to themself to play with some dog toys.

But the session was nearing its end, and it was time to bring Kris back into their body, out of doggy sub space. But Mistress Tawny had a ritual for this. “Okay, Kris. Kennel time,” she ordered.

Wiggling their rear, Kris crawled into the low cage in the Fungeon, curling up on the soft blanket inside. Mistress Tawny reached in to scratch the top of Kris’s head, “You were _such_ a good dog today. Such a good dog!” There had been a lot of praise throughout, but it was always good to wind down a session with a little more. Mistress Tawny brought over a bowl of water and one with some refried beans in it--Kris’s preferred “dog” food. She closed them in the cage and let them wind down. It signaled the session was coming to an end, and when they were let out of the cage, Mistress Tawny would provide aftercare.

In the meantime, Mistress Tawny had about five minutes to let Kris eat, drink, and curl up on the blanket. She only had to keep an eye on them to scold them if they did anything wrong--though Kris’s puppy training was going quite well, and she thought they’d behave. So, she took a moment to check her social media. On Mistress Tawny’s account that morning, she’d set her Spectrogram story as a “free sub task” for the day, ordering her followers to “Take fifteen minutes for yourself. Go for a walk, journal, meditate. Practice self-care. Mistress Tawny wants her bottoms happy and healthy.”

She saw she’d gotten a response from Jade, again. She was already smiling slightly as she opened it.

 **ScissorLuv:** People actually do this just because you tell them? Why?

Tori shook her head, trying not to smile. _Fucking Jade West_. Always needing to push back.

Mistress Tawny blocked her again.

Minutes later, Mistress Tawny was opening the cage and guiding Kris out, “You did so amazing,” she purred at them, “Do you want your regular hot chocolate?”

“Yeah,” Kris murmured, smiling slightly, still coming back to themself.

Mistress Tawny wrapped Kris up in a blanket and brought them out of the Fungeon and into the kitchen space in her workplace, letting them settle on the provided loveseat while Mistress Tawny started a hot chocolate for them. They spent some time on aftercare, with Kris wrapped in a blanket and drinking hot chocolate while Mistress Tawny sat next to them and petted and praised them, asking if they were sore anywhere and rubbing their back.

By the time Kris left, they were glowing.

Tori sighed when it was over, letting go of Mistress Tawny as she brewed a cup of coffee for herself and took off her detachable bangs. Kris was her last appointment for the day, and she could let herself leave top space. Decompressing after being Mistress Tawny was important. Aftercare was something she provided for her clients, and although it benefitted her, too, and validated that the work she did with them had value, she still needed to take a moment to come back to herself.

She switched to her Pleasure Professor account as she began to leave Mistress Tawny’s headspace, and saw that she had a message. She clicked on it to find it was in response to her Spectrogram story from the night before reviewing the Fill Me Up Buttercup. And, of course, it was from Jade.

 **ScissorLuv:** Really, twice in one week? Wow.

Tori’s mouth compressed. Was Jade going to troll all of her accounts? But The Pleasure Professor wouldn’t block anyone for that.

 **PleasureProf:** Twice a week is a normal amount for some people!

Okay, the exclamation point was a little off-brand for the Pleasure Professor, but Jade always did know how to push her buttons. As she sat in the kitchen with her coffee, checking her phone, a text from Jade pushed through.

**TORI**

Tori was already smirking as she tapped a reply.

**Yes?**

**Did you block me again?**

Tori sighed. She knew Jade was clear on the difference between herself and Mistress Tawny.

**I didn’t block you**

**Okay, you know what I mean**

**The Mistress did block you, yes**

**I just was trying to ask a question**

**Maybe you need to consider how to do that respectfully**

**What, am I supposed to MA’AM her in Spectrogram chat?!**

**That would be a start**

**Seriously?**

**Have you noticed that it also specifically says “No DMs” on her profile?**

**Uuuuuugh**

Tori smirked and rolled her eyes.

**Don’t act like this is hard**

**You know how to behave around The Mistress**

**I’ve seen it**

No reply for a long moment. Tori bit her lip, remembering the way Jade had seemed flustered and also a little afraid during the Fet Ball. That had been fun. It was so rare that Jade was caught off balance that it had kind of been really great to witness. At least, up until the point that Tori apparently drove her away with a hand massage. Still, though. Jade had remained curious and open about Tori’s work, and that meant something to her, too.

Her phone buzzed.

**Fine**

**I’ll do better**

**Maybe she’ll unblock you tomorrow**

**What’s for dinner this Sunday?**

Tori blinked. She hadn’t even gotten that far in her plans, but she kind of liked that Jade was already thinking about it.

**I don’t know yet**

**I’ll let you know when I figure it out**

**Okay**

Well, in spite of the nature of the conversation, talking with Jade had really helped bring Tori back to herself and out of top space. She finished her cup of coffee and changed out of Mistress Tawny’s outfit, trying to remember what she had at home to cook with and whether she would need to go to the store.

Like Jade, maybe she was starting to look forward to Sunday dinners.

-

Most of Jade's Thursday had been spent doing headshot sessions over at the Santa Monica pier. Between appointments, she actively looked for weird and interesting things to photograph, making an effort to put her camera to artistic use, something that had been happening more and more, lately. She sent a few of the best ones from her camera to her phone, where she quickly edited them and uploaded a couple to Spectrogram (while she was there, she shot off a message to The Mistress which apparently was enough to get her blocked, _again_ ).

Since she was on the west side of town, she stopped by to see Cat and Sam. Sam was sprawled out on the sofa, watching highlights from an MMA fight, but Cat appeared to be on her way out.

"I'm in a play!" she announced to Jade as she collected her purse. "We open Labor Day weekend," she said, suddenly wielding a postcard-sized flyer at her.

Jade knew Cat had been doing local theatre work, but she obviously hadn't been able to see any of it while living on the other side of the country. She accepted the piece of paper and looked it over.

_The Santa Monica Community Theatre Troupe presents_

_BUG by Tracy Letts_

Wow. This was an intense play, basically a very dark comedy about a descent into madness. Jade had seen a production of it in New York, along with the film version that had come out, years ago. "Holy _chiz_ , Cat. Are you playing the lead in this?"

"Yep," Cat nodded. "Will you come to the show?"

"Of course I will. I'll even drag Tori with me."

"Good," Cat replied happily.

Jade lightly swatted at her shoulder with the flyer. "Kinda proud of you."

Cat beamed as she finally reached for the front door, not wanting to be late for her rehearsal.

Whatever Sam had been catching up on appeared to be over and she tossed the remote on the table, making room for Jade to sit next to her. They regularly kept up with each other at this point, now that Jade was local (for now), so Sam was clued in on basic details of the Fet Ball experience as well as the fight Jade and Tori had a couple weeks ago. But they still hadn't talked much, in detail, about The Mistress.

"How much do you know about what she does?" Jade asked, but Sam just shrugged.

"I don't know...I've seen her website and stuff. Cat makes her outfits for her."

"So, like, you've met her?"

"Uh, yeah. It's Tori."

"I mean, sure. But also kind of not."

"I guess." Sam considered it. "Yeah, I mean The Mistress is definitely hotter."

Jade rolled her eyes. "So, Cat makes the Pleasure Professor coats and then Mistress Tawny's wardrobe."

There was a pause, then, "Yeah, she does." But there was a lilt to it that suggested there was somehow more to it.

"Sam. What else is there?"

Sam shook her head. "You'll have to ask Tori."

Jade groaned. "Why? Why does it seem like everyone's been sworn to secrecy about all this?"

"Look, it's just that...a lot of us agree that when it comes to you two...we don't want to get, like, caught in the crossfire."

"What _crossfire_? We're just friends."

Sam guffawed at that. "Yeah, okay."

"Dude, you know that."

"I... _know_." Sam conceded.

"You're still not going to tell me anything else about Tori's work, are you?"

Sam shook her head. "But at least you know about The Mistress now. Do you know how hard that was to keep to myself? That your ex literally _cracks a whip_ for a living?"

"Do you think she actually does?" Jade wondered.

"Seems pretty standard for that line of work."

"I looked at her website, but I don't remember the specifics. I just remember...well," Jade figured it was all above board to talk about this, since it was out in the public domain. "She doesn't, like, have sex with anyone. On the job."

"That's totally the first thing you looked up, isn't it?" Sam prodded.

"It was listed at the top." Had it made her feel better to find that out? Sure. Though, even if Tori did offer those services, it wasn't like it was any of her business, anyway. They weren't dating. Or even friends with benefits. Jade wanted to support her, no matter what she did. It was still just a lot to process. "Does Cat ever get jealous?" she found herself asking.

Sam shook her head. "Uh, not really. Or if she has, she's never said much about it. But I also tell her everything she wants to know, so she's not left guessing."

Jade wondered if she could ever handle something like that, being in a relationship with a person who had sex with someone else. Her friends had made it work for them. Tori had been part of something like that with Patrice. But Jade just couldn't see herself handling anything like that very well. She'd been terribly jealous when she'd dated Beck (though that was also half her life ago and she'd certainly grown in many ways since then) and that was just because other girls paid attention to him.

"I guess I'm just a boring monogamist," Jade decided.

"Yeah, well, it takes all kinds," teased Sam.

By the time Jade finally made it home to the guest house, it was a little after eight in the evening. She planned to touch up the headshots and send off the digital proof sheets to the clients the next day, so she flipped on the television for some background noise, clicking around Webflix for something that didn't require her full attention. In the _Suggestions for Jade_ section was _Whisper Creek_ and, after a moment, she clicked on it. For obvious reasons, she'd never watched the show, but given that she'd always been curious about it and that Tori had mentioned watching her film, Jade felt like it was maybe time to give it a shot. Besides, it was just something to play in the background while she worked.

Except as soon as the first episode started, she was constantly looking up to make sure she hadn't missed Tori and, once she was on screen, Jade was momentarily captivated. There was Tori at twenty years old, looking exactly as Jade remembered (but also totally not at all like Tori because she was Marti Chavez, teen scientist...though, that also meant glasses and a lab coat, so she kind of looked like Tori now, too). And there was also the fact that the show was... _good_. If she'd come across this without the personal connection to it, Jade would have devoured this in college. It reminded her, in ways, about what had drawn her to _Bite Me University_ (also, hey Jade, you have a _type_ ) with the supernatural world laid up against the everyday reality of the "normal" world. In this case, it was a small town in Northern California, populated by Berkeley scientists and their families, dedicated to the scientific study of the supernatural events that regularly occurred in Whisper Creek.

After the first episode ended, Jade had to switch to a home renovation show she literally didn't care anything about, just so she could get her work done.

The next morning, Jade woke fairly easily after a solid night's rest (probably something to do with falling asleep pretty hard after a day of wandering back and forth on the pier) and shuffled into the kitchen to immediately brew her coffee. It was just after nine and she didn't have any appointments on her schedule until an engagement shoot that afternoon, so her plan had been to email the contact sheets and, otherwise, take it easy that morning. Her first cup of coffee was gone in minutes and, as she carried the second with her to the couch, she noticed Tori on the lawn, doing her yoga.

Something about the lingering poses she held triggered Jade into action.

Earlier that week, she'd finally dug out her sketchbook from the things she’d shipped back from the east coast, as drawing was a habit she'd managed to maintain over the years. She grabbed it from where it sat on the mostly-empty shelf of her bookcase and flipped to a blank page. From where she sat on the couch, she could really only see Tori from about waist up, but the parts of her body that were visible kept changing as she shifted positions. Quickly, Jade sketched line drawings of what she could see: an arm, a pointed foot, shoulders and head. It felt different, sketching out the figure of someone she knew versus a stranger (or Patrice) in a class. With Tori, she sometimes pushed her pencil along in the shape of memory instead of what she was actually looking at, adding little details that were impossible to see from where she was sitting. Things like the way Tori's right eyebrow raised when she was concentrating or the shapes of lines around her mouth when she laughed (there was a moment where Tori's balance seemed to elude her and Jade would bet money she'd done that thing where she chuckled at herself).

The afternoon crept up on her pretty quickly, so Jade was off to her shoot, then it was another evening of touch-ups before letting herself indulge in a second episode of _Whisper Creek_.

This time, there was a strong sense of wistfulness as she watched Tori on her screen. Like, enough that she realized her focus had been pulled from the character of Marti and she was just staring at her ex-girlfriend, a decade younger, and realizing, this was when they were still dating. This had been filmed in the fall, when Tori would finish on set and would text Jade and they’d sometimes have time for a call, or a video chat. This was when things had started falling apart, but they were still together, still trying so hard to make things work.

This was filmed when she and Tori were still in love. Just as the cracks in their relationship were starting to show. When it was getting hard. When the distance was starting to hurt.

It was obvious why Jade hadn’t watched this show when it aired. It was too painful. And though it wasn’t quite painful now, Jade was surprised by the fact that she had to take a moment, and just let herself remember Tori, the way they had been, before she restarted the scene and this time, could really focus on it. And damn, Tori really was great in this role, now that she could see the character again, the work Tori was putting into it.

Saturday was similar, though Tori must've done her workout later in the day, after Jade left to take behind-the-scenes photography for a student film, a gig Chandra had helped her land. That night, she was able to squeeze in one more episode between the job and meeting her weekly writing quota.

She really was trying to set goals and keep healthy creative habits, especially while she had the financial freedom of rent-free housing. All the work she currently booked meant paying bills and stashing the rest away for future use. If she could hustle now, it meant that she might be able to finance a project for herself in the near future. Though, that also depended on how long Tori let her live in the guest house, how much work Jade could secure, and if she planned to even stay in Los Angeles. Which...maybe LA was really taking hold of her.

It was home, after all.

At this point in her _Whisper Creek_ viewing, Jade was really starting to get invested in the show. She knew, intellectually, that this show was technically the reason she and Tori had broken up, but watching it now, she got why Tori had been so dedicated to it. It was _good_. She was hooked. Tori’s character was interesting, her interactions with a particular werewolf that she was on a mission to capture and tag were gripping (and Jade had a few guesses as to the human identity of this werewolf, particularly after the first scene between Tori’s and Addison Cole’s characters).

Obviously, she was still only into the first season, and who knew what was going to happen, but the show seemed to have a lot of potential, and Jade already felt pretty sure that, if she’d been watching it in real time, she would have been _pissed_ when it got canceled.

It started her on a different sort of emotional examination of the past, when the episode was finished and Jade had to force herself not to start the next one so she could get ready for bed. The show was good, and she was irritated that it had been taken from Tori. She wondered, if the show had continued, what might have happened with Tori’s career. As she brushed her teeth, she entertained a strange, wild fantasy of _Tori_ auditioning for _Not My Problem_ , of _Tori_ accompanying her on the red carpet, of _Tori_ surging in popularity to the point that their breakup wouldn’t have mattered anymore, that they could have found their way back to each other. It was ridiculous, though, Jade reflected as she finished up in her bathroom. She didn’t regret a thing about making her movie or falling in love with Lana, but there was a definite sense as she watched Tori at twenty, full of dreams and hope, and still in love with Jade, that everything had been taken from her too quickly.

Everything had been taken from _them_ too quickly.

It wasn’t how their future was supposed to play out.

She remembered the story about that producer who had told Tori she wasn’t sexy, and burned with fury again.

She forced herself to calm down as she got in bed. Tori was happy now. She was doing work that involved performance, and she seemed to have really found something she excelled at. Jade didn’t need to be furious about some idiot who apparently lacked either eyes or sense or both. It made her think of something, though, and she opened Spectrogram and yep, The Mistress had unblocked her. _Good_.

She checked Tori’s pages for updates, and as she looked at the Mary Jane page, she noticed that link again, _virtualencounters.vr.web_. She clicked it curiously.

It took her to a website that made her recoil slightly, because it looked like it was about to be porn. But it wasn’t. There was a large title banner that said Virtual Encounters, and then a slideshow of different people, mostly women. No one was naked, there wasn’t anything lewd actually being shown, but the faces the women were making seemed to indicate that something erotic was going on here. And wait, was that... _Tori_?

Jade sat and waited for the image to scroll by again. It was a shot from the back of a woman on a pull-up bar, her back muscles standing out powerfully. There was a mirror on the opposite wall, but the image wasn’t clear enough to really _tell_ Jade if it was Tori. Was her back really that ripped, these days? She’d seen her doing yoga, but she didn’t think it had looked quite _that_ good.

The _enter_ button warned “members only” and “VR device required,” but Jade clicked it, anyway. Of course, the website pulled up an error screen that told her _No VR capabilities detected_.

Back at the homepage, Jade looked to see if there was anything else to look at. And down at the very bottom of the page, where the boring details existed, was a clue.

The Moustache Media logo.

Immediately, Jade opened the texting app.

**You do VR videos for work**

She wasn’t necessarily expecting a response, since it was almost eleven, and she went back to the website to try to figure out if the woman on the chin-up bar was Tori. But then, Tori herself was texting.

**Yes**

Jade sat up in bed and craned her neck to look through the window in her living room that showed Tori’s bedroom window. The curtains were drawn, and though they were thick enough that she couldn’t see any movement or shapes through them, they were sheer enough that she could see that Tori’s bedroom light was on.

Keeping her eyes on Tori’s bedroom window, Jade texted back.

**Is that it? Is that finally ALL you do?**

**Yes**

Jade flopped back against her pillows. She’d finally done it. She figured out what Tori actually _did_.

She was so satisfied, that sleep actually came pretty easily.

-

Morning coffee with Jade had shifted into something slightly different this week. Jade had come out with her coffee one morning to find Tori with a book, and when Tori went to put her book down, Jade had waved her away, encouraging her to keep reading. Since then, they’d mostly spent their mornings in companionate silence, at least until Jade had a couple of cups of coffee in her. It was peaceful, to read and drink coffee while Hamster begged her for scritches, just enjoying Jade’s company. She knew Jade wasn’t a morning person, and it seemed that this was just what worked better for both of them.

On Sunday, Tori was about to head back inside when Jade finally spoke beyond a grunted morning greeting. “So, what are you making for dinner tonight?”

“Oh,” Tori said, “I have to double check that I have everything I need before I choose,” she admitted.

Jade watched her as she sipped her coffee, looking amused. “All right, just come tell me later.”

Tori ended up having to go shopping, and though she supposed she could have just texted Jade, she instead waited until she came home and then went to knock on the door to the guest house around lunchtime.

“Come in!” Jade called.

Tori stepped inside to find Jade sitting on the couch and...her own face frozen on Jade’s television? And it was not a good face, either, with the way her mouth was partly open, jaw twisted, eyes half-rolled. But she recognized the outfit. “Uh.” She glanced at Jade, who was watching her impassively, “Are you watching _Whisper Creek_?”

“Yes,” Jade said, then added quickly, “And no spoilers, because I’m only on episode five of season one.”

“Okay, I won’t say anything, because I honestly don’t remember what’s happening at that point,” Tori replied. That show felt like so long ago, it was hard to be clear on the details, and she knew that the experience of filming it was much less linear and cohesive than watching it, anyway.

It didn’t escape her notice that this was the first time Jade was watching the show. Which, she definitely understood why. It hadn’t aired until after their breakup, and she wouldn’t have wanted to watch it under those circumstances if she were Jade, either. It had been surreal enough, watching Jade’s film a couple of years ago, before they’d reconnected, when the last thing they’d said to each other in person had been vicious (though that email she’d gotten from Jade out of the blue a few years later had gone a long way toward softening Tori’s resentment).

But watching Jade’s movie had to be a different experience than watching Tori in a role. Though she could see Jade’s filmmaker’s eye and hear her writer’s voice all through _Not My Problem_ , she only had to actually look at Lana Blackwood. Which was...whatever, given she and Jade had long been broken up at that point.

Jade was watching her, though. “It’s really good,” she said.

“Yeah?” Tori had a feeling it would be the kind of show Jade would like. If she were honest, that had been part of the draw of taking the role.

“ _You’re_ really good in it,” Jade continued.

“Really?” Tori was a little surprised at the praise.

“Like you didn’t know,” Jade scoffed.

Tori shrugged, “To be honest, I was expecting you to have _notes_ about my performance, _director_.”

“Yeah, I have just one,” Jade drawled, gesturing to the screen, “Don’t make that face.”

“Oh, my god,” Tori laughed. She was curious about something else, though, “Have you seen anything else I’m in?”

“Just that Lifemark Christmas movie you were in. My mom _loves_ it.”

Tori groaned, but she was grinning, “Oh, god. That one is so bad.”

“But you’re good in it,” Jade shrugged.

Tori was starting to feel a little fluttery from all the praise, so she changed the subject. “So for dinner tonight, I’m making bean chili and cornbread.”

Jade nodded, “Okay. I’ll go pick out some wine after this episode.”

Tori lingered for a moment as Jade turned the episode back on, wondering if she might remember what was going on in the series, but after a moment, it got weird, watching Jade so engrossed in her work from ten years ago, and Tori mumbled, “See you later,” and went back to her house.

-

There was a point when Jade had to actively stop herself from watching another episode of _Whisper Creek_. She'd just finished episode six, which was the mid point of the first season and she knew that if she tried to squeeze in another one before going to the store to buy the wine for that night's dinner, she might get stuck in a binge spiral. It wasn't her fault the series was actually entertaining.

She poked around ZapLook for ideas about what wines went best with bean chili and cornbread, but the more she looked, the more it seemed like beer might be a better pairing. The best craft beer selection near Tori's house (and, yeah, her own home, at this point) was at liquor store about three blocks away, so Jade took advantage of the mild afternoon and walked over, wishing she'd brought her camera to capture the random things she always tended to find one strolls like this. She used her PearPhone to snap a photo of a doll's head that sat on top of a public trash can. Next to it was a flyer that said, "Join our family!" It all made the shot.

After what felt like _way_ too long staring into the beer case at the store, Jade settled on a four pack (Tori still seemed to only be good for one or two drinks if the way she drank wine was any indication) of amber lager from Valley Girl Brewery. The man behind the counter felt vaguely familiar, probably because she'd been to this store more than a few times when she was younger, but the most she'd ever said to anyone working was "thanks" after they rang her up. If he recognized her, he didn't say anything.

Once back at the house, she slipped the beer into her fridge and took a few minutes to answer some emails, since she'd spent the bulk of her day just watching television. Eventually, she heard Tori out on the patio, signaling that it was time to eat, so she grabbed the chilled beer and carried it out to the table.

Tori, who had two wine glasses in hand, realized what Jade had just placed in front of her and said, "I...guess we don't need these."

"It sounded better than any of the wine options, to be honest." Jade wondered if she should have consulted, first. It was Tori's dinner, after all.

"I think you're onto something," Tori replied, taking the glasses back inside and returning with a pan of cornbread. The pot of chili was already on the table, so once she was back, she took her seat. Jade took it upon herself to pour the water glasses (a thing that already felt like _a thing_ at these dinners) while Tori dished out the food, exchanging small talk about how everything tasted once they dug into the meal. The beer Jade had chosen was a perfect match for the chili and they were both easily well into their first drink before too long.

"Is there a reason you keep cooking vegetarian stuff?" Jade asked, realizing that every meal she'd been presented on this patio had been meatless.

"Just something I'm trying," Tori shrugged. "I eat whatever I want when I'm out, but when I cook at home, I'm doing this." She waved her fork around at the food in front of them.

"I'm not complaining, by the way. It's all been really great."

Tori smiled behind her beer. "You can tell me if it's not. I want to actually get better at this."

"Okay, well, if anything's ever terrible, I won't hold back."

"I'd never even think to make such a request from you." Tori's beer was empty, so she reached for her water glass. "Damn, that lager's really light."

Jade knew what she meant. It was very drinkable, especially against the spiciness of the chili. "Yeah, speaking of light, watch yourself, lightweight."

Tori stuck her tongue out at her. "I'm at home." But she continued sipping her water instead of reaching for another beer, just yet. "The lawn looks really good, by the way."

"Well, I've gotta keep it nice and tight for all that yoga you do on it," Jade commented, realizing it gave away the fact that she'd definitely watched Tori doing said yoga. _Fuck it_ , she was having her second beer.

So was Tori, apparently, who grabbed the last one and cracked it open. "Guess we're even, then," she said, sipping the drink. "You know, I watched you do the yard. You watch me work out."

"I mean, my window looks right out at the lawn, so..." But Jade was aware that Tori knew better. "You know what?" Quickly, Jade was up from the table and back in the guest house, looking for the last place she'd set her sketchbook.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you something," Jade said, spotting the book and grabbing it. Back at the table, she opened it to the latest round of sketches, the ones of Tori (or at least parts of her) doing her yoga poses. "Though I don't know if this makes it more or less creepy, to be honest."

Tori took the sketchbook and examined the dozen or so pencil sketches. "This is really good."

"It's not, but thanks."

"I didn't know you could draw like this."

"Well, I kind of took it up...after." After the break up. Or at least, as they were fizzling out. When _Whisper Creek_ was still a promising new series, not on a _ZingFeed_ list of shows cancelled too soon. "After you left for Canada."

-

Tori digested the information as she perused the sketches. She knew Jade had taken that art class that first summer she was gone, but she had no idea that she’d kept up with it. There was a lot she’d missed when they’d been away from each other. “It’s really cool, though,” she said, wishing she had a better way to express what she was thinking, “That you can do this.” She passed the sketchbook back.

“I guess,” Jade replied, sipping her beer and looking out over the lawn.

Maybe it would be good to move away from topics that had to do with their breakup. Tori remembered last week, when Jade had downloaded the scissHER app. “So, did you make any matches on scissHER yet?”

Jade turned back to her, frowning, “No. I started my profile, but I haven’t made anything public yet.”

“Ugh, yeah,” Tori sympathized, “The profile part is hard.”

“I just don’t even know what to say.”

“Do you want me to look at it?” Tori offered. If Jade wanted to date on the apps, Tori figured she could be that honest friend who gave constructive feedback.

“Sure,” Jade murmured, pulling out her phone and tapping at it before passing it over to Tori.

Tori looked at what she’d been offered. Jade had chosen a picture of herself where she looked...well, kind of _severe_ , unsmiling, and serious. Okay, they should start there. “Jade,” she admonished.

“What?”

“ _That’s_ the picture you chose?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

Tori considered how to word this. “Who, exactly, are you looking to attract on here?”

Jade’s eyebrow rose, suggesting that Tori was in dangerous waters. “Uh, I don’t know. Women?”

“Okay, but,” Tori tried again, “You _know_ how to take nice pictures, so why is your profile picture so...scary?”

“Because _I’m_ scary?”

“You’re not that scary,” Tori scoffed.

Jade laughed, “Okay, but you’re an outlier, no one scares you.”

“Not true, but not the point,” Tori refuted. “I’m just suggesting that you maybe choose a picture where you look less like someone who wants to fight and more...approachable.”

Jade sighed heavily, “I’m just trying to be _honest_ , but fine.” She gestured with her hand, “What else?”

“Hold on,” Tori scrolled down and started looking at the actual profile. The _About Me_ just said _LA woman with NYC sensibilities_ which...okay, that wasn’t _awful_. Tori let it slide. The _Likes_ section just said _I don’t like a lot of things_. Oh god. Tori read the _Dislikes_ section apprehensively. _Too many to list_. “Jade…”

“What?” She sounded only slightly defensive.

“Okay, do you actually _want_ to do the app dating thing?”

“I mean, I don’t know. Sure. I’m curious.”

That was hardly a ringing endorsement. “Because...no offense, but you’re not giving people a lot to go on here.”

“Well, I’m just trying to be honest,” Jade said again.

“Okay, but it’s _not_ really that honest. You like plenty of things!” Jade laughed at this, and Tori pressed on, “I’m serious! You have to give people a reason to contact you. You like film, you like photography, you like Mexican food, you like coffee, and beer, and weed, and books, and drawing--”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about those things with most people.”

“But you _might_ find someone you _do_ want to talk to about something like film if you put it out there! Weeding through the bad matches is just part of it, but you won’t have any good matches, either, if you leave your profile like this.”

Jade rolled her eyes, “Fine, add some of those things to my profile.”

Tori started typing, “Anything else you can I think of? I know there are things you like.”

“Uhh,” Jade squinted as if this was actually a painful exercise, “I guess you could list like...live music. And horror, of course. Actually, put that first. If they have bad taste in horror I can reject them quickly.”

Tori smirked. Jade was getting it. “Okay, and you can’t just say that you hate everything. Put specific things. So that you don’t get contacted by people who love your dealbreakers.”

Jade let out a long-suffering sigh. “But I have so many dealbreakers.”

“Okay, name the five most crucial ones,” Tori suggested.

“Just _five_?” Jade sounded shocked. “Ugh, okay.” She lapsed into silence.

Meanwhile, Tori scrolled down through the rest of the written part of the profile. Jade had left the _Looking For, Turn Ons_ and _Turn Offs_ sections completely blank, which tracked, given the rest of the conversation. Her _Inspirational Quote_ section only said _Inspirational quotes are for nerds_. Tori sighed. Was Jade even trying? It wasn’t like Jade had been celibate for a decade; she knew how to turn on the charm.

“Okay,” Jade finally said, “For dislikes, you should put, the word panties, surprises, debates about whether the book or the movie was better, and neediness.”

“That’s only four.”

“I’ll be adding to it, anyway.”

“Okay, but don’t add too much,” Tori advised. “So, what _are_ you looking for?”

Jade looked down at the table for a moment, clearly thinking. Finally, she said, “I guess just...someone cool and easy going. I guess put that I want to get to know someone before, like, deciding anything.”

Tori tried to figure out how to phrase that in app-speak. “So like, looking for a relationship, but I want to take it slow?”

“I guess, but like, you can put a casual relationship. If it goes beyond that,” Jade shrugged.

Tori did, then said, “So, turn ons and turn offs?” She smirked, considering suggesting a few herself.

“I’ll handle that myself,” Jade said quickly.

“Fair enough. And your inspirational quote...could use work.”

“Nope,” Jade said firmly, “I’m not budging on that one.”

Tori laughed, “Okay. Well, change your profile picture and put in your turn ons and turn offs and you’re good to go.” She passed the phone back to Jade, who began to type quickly. Tori had a sense that maybe she _had_ filled that part out already, but had deleted it before showing Tori.

A minute later, Jade put her phone down and turned her attention back to Tori. “Hey, is it cool if I paint in here?” she asked, nodding her head toward the guest house. “Like, a wall?”

“Yeah, whatever you want.” Tori wanted Jade to feel comfortable, to settle in. It didn’t escape her that this suggested maybe… “Does this mean you’re sticking around in LA for a while?”

"Might as well. There's plenty of work here. Plus, like, my friends. My family. Your family." Jade leaned on her arm on the table. "Makes more sense than anywhere else, right now."

"Well, please feel free to paint or whatever else you feel like you want to do. I trust you." Tori regarded Jade across the expanse of the picnic table. "I think."

"Hey, you're the one who operated a dungeon out of there. I'm just thinking about an accent wall."

"Fair point," Tori conceded. She was already halfway through the second beer and feeling pleasantly buzzed from it.

"Plus, you know, you put that big TV in there, so it might as well get some use." Jade finished her own drink and tapped the bottle on the table. "Hey, that reminds me...all that coffee I drank the day I waited for the delivery..."

"Yeah, you mean half of my bag of single origin Guatemalan beans?"

"Yeah, those. Where'd you get it? I want to buy more."

"Oh, that's so nice of you to offer to get some for me, too." Tori was happy enough with her tipsy state, so she pushed the half-full bottle toward the middle of the table, just so it wasn't in her immediate reach. She felt good, right now, and she didn't want to push past it to something that resulted in a headache tomorrow.

-

Jade didn't let the half-empty bottle sit for long. "Done with this?

Tori nodded. "I'm good, thanks." As Jade took the beer and drank from it, Tori answered the earlier question. "There's a place down Ventura called Static Roasters."

Already, Jade was tapping it into her phone. "Fine, I'll replace what I drank, even though you offered it to me."

Tori laughed, "You don't have to."

"No, no, I will." As Jade looked up the coffee shop, a notification popped through.

**scissHER**

_You have a match!_

She must have been giving her phone a weird look, because Tori asked, "What's up?"

"Just...there's already a scissHER match and I didn't even finish filling the thing out all the way." When Tori had handed the phone back earlier, Jade had switched her profile picture to a different selfie and dropped a few terms under turn ons (proper aspect ratio, quality coffee) and turn offs (people who talk during movies, loud chewers), but there was still more she'd planned to say. Unless she didn't need to. Maybe what she'd entered was enough. Maybe Tori was right about the essentials.

She assumed this meant Tori had navigated app dating fairly well, which prompted Jade to ask, "So...why Patrice?" She'd been curious since their last dinner, the idea of Tori and...Patrice had crept into her mind more than once over the week.

"As in? I mean, I understand what you're asking but like...which part?"

"I don't know, all of it? You say you haven't really dated but...like, what does that even mean? And how did it even...happen?"

Tori shrugged. "When I first moved back, she was probably the person I spent the most time with, outside of my family. Maybe even more than my family." She rolled one of the beer caps between her fingers. "After we broke up," the glance she shot at Jade clarified she was talking about them, as if there was any other interpretation, "I called her a lot. She felt like the one person I could talk to about everything."

That part wasn't any kind of surprise to Jade, given the role Patrice had played in Tori's life as someone who seemed to always be poised to offer an answer on whatever Tori was going through. "But how did you get from that to...you know, you both topping...uh, Janet?"

"Well," Tori laughed. "There was a point, not that long after the break up, that Patrice really encouraged me to find an actual therapist to talk to about...everything. I guess, once I did that, it changed the way we talked. Less one-sided asking for advice, more just friends talking."

“I guess that makes sense,” Jade replied quietly. Honestly, in her mind, it was hard to see Patrice as _not_ a sort of mentor figure to Tori, which was part of why she had trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that they’d been...whatever they had been.

Tori laughed, “Don’t get me wrong. She’d still give me advice sometimes. Kind of a thing about her. But it didn’t feel the same, you know? Because she’d also ask me questions about her educational work, like what had worked for me when my parents hired her to talk to me about sex. And with me being in school at the time, we could talk about what I was learning, about advancements in the field of psychology, about new research articles I was discovering and reading. And she could complain to me about her dad’s lousy political views. I don’t know. We got close.”

There was a strange image, then, of Tori on her PearPhone screen, in her tiny studio apartment in Vancouver, laughing, looking happy to see her. Except, Tori was doing that with Patrice, after talking to Jade was no longer an option. “And then when you came home?” she asked. Because this was really the question. How had any of this happened? Tori was scrutinizing her, and Jade insisted, “I want to know. You can tell me.” She remembered Sam talking about how she told Cat everything she wanted to know, so she wasn’t left guessing, and even though she and Tori weren’t anything but exes, she still thought it would help her to just hear the story.

“Well,” Tori said, “I was having trouble finding work, so I started helping Patrice with her adult BDSM workshops, and we started laying the groundwork for what would become The Pleasure Professor. And working so closely with her, I don’t know. It kind of reminded me that I’d always found her attractive--”

“A- _ha_!” Jade sat up straight, pointing at Tori, “I _knew_ it!”

Tori looked like she was actually blushing, “I didn’t think it was really much of a secret.”

“You just never admitted it,” Jade settled back in her seat, “But I _knew_ you were hot for her.”

“Hey, I seem to recall she charmed you pretty easily, too,” Tori shot back.

Tori wasn’t wrong, but Jade had never reacted to her in quite the same way Tori had, “Yeah, I thought she was cool, but I never had a crush on her. Not even when I saw her boobs.”

“You never did let me see those sketches,” Tori smirked, “But yeah, my crush on her kinda resurfaced. So I asked about her polyamorous arrangement with Janet, and that led to us sleeping together. I was curious about bottoming first, so we tried that, and it was fine, but when I had the opportunity to learn to top, with Patrice teaching and Janet bottoming, that’s when things started to click for me.” She was watching Jade carefully as she spoke now, “Everything we did was because I initiated, and I asked for it.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything different,” Jade replied, though there was a strange sense of relief to hear the pronouncement. “How long did it last?”

Tori shrugged, “Maybe a year-ish? Long enough to be significant, but not serious.”

A year of sleeping with the same person seemed serious to Jade, but this was apparently at least the second person with whom Tori had maintained a lengthy friends with benefits connection without it turning into a relationship. She wondered if that’s just what Tori preferred, in spite of her insistence that she’d tried to find relationships. It certainly felt like a different Tori than the one she remembered dating, the one who’d loved to snuggle in the back of her station wagon and told Jade she loved her as often as possible. “It’s still pretty wild,” Jade admitted, “But thanks for indulging my curiosity.”

“Sure,” Tori replied easily. They were both quiet for a moment as Jade brought her beer a little closer to empty, then Tori asked, “So, where are you in _Whisper Creek_?”

Jade set the bottle down harder than she meant to. “Oh my god. I just finished episode six of the first season.”

“What’s happening at that point?” Tori asked.

“It’s the part where Nora is revealed to be the werewolf that Marti has been chasing all this time, and, okay, yeah, sparks were _flying_ between you two.”

A smile tugged the corner of Tori’s mouth. “I don’t think either of us even knew what was in store for us at that point. The hashtags already existed, though.”

“Yeah, what is the portmanteau for your characters? Norti? Manora? Oh god please tell me it’s Manora.”

Tori laughed, “Some fans use that one, actually, but the most popular hashtag was NerdWolf, because there were apparently already people interested in the dynamic before it was confirmed that the werewolf was Nora.”

“ _NerdWolf_.” Jade was already cackling. Oh, this was too good. Tori was part of a popular queer pairing called _NerdWolf._ It was too fucking perfect. “NerdWolf,” she repeated.

Tori shrugged, grinning at Jade’s enthusiasm, “NerdWolf,” she confirmed.

"Is there merch? Can I get a t-shirt?" Jade prodded.

"I don't know if the fandom is still active, but I'm sure if you dig hard enough, you could find something." Tori began to collect the dishes and Jade took that as a cue to shift the conversation.

"Let me help," she insisted, grabbing what Tori hadn't already picked up, clearing the table. Inside the house, as Tori began to pack up the leftovers, Jade took it upon herself to begin rinsing the plates and bowls in the sink.

"You don't need to do that," Tori said, suddenly right next to her and reaching to shut off the water, bumping against Jade as she did, close enough that the scent of that perfume, the one from that morning after the reunion, triggered the memory of Tori sitting on the hotel bed next to her.

" _Let me help_ ," Jade repeated, urging Tori away by pushing at her with her forearm.

Tori sighed and leaned with her back against the counter. "Fine, but you just need to rinse them, _I'll_ put them in the dishwasher."

"Fine." Jade would have loaded them into the machine, but she was also interested in whatever compromise looked like in the name of friendship. It didn't take long to finish what she'd started and she was soon drying her hands on the dish towel. "Hey, so, we didn't talk about the VR thing."

"What about it?" Tori asked, popping the lid onto the glass container that held the rest of the chili.

"That it's the other thing you do."

"Yeah, it is." Tori confirmed, tone neutral.

“Is it porn?” Jade asked directly.

Tori chuckled, “Not by most definitions.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

Tori shrugged, and apparently decided to offer an answer. “It means eroticism is relative.”

This wasn’t helping. "Then _what_ is it?"

"You didn't look at the site?"

"I did, but it requires a VR device to view the content."

Tori shrugged. "Guess you'll have to view it on a VR device, then." She handed Jade the glass dish as well as a plastic bag containing the last of the cornbread.

"You can't just avoid the question and give me leftovers," though that didn't stop Jade from accepting the food that had just been offered to her.

"I'm not avoiding it, I'm suggesting how you can find out the answer."

"You're infuriating."

"Oh please, you love a good mystery."

"We have wildly different definitions of what a _good mystery_ is, I think." Jade shook her head, laughing lightly. "Thanks for dinner."

"Thanks for the ego boost about my old work," Tori said.

Jade could feel the pull of wanting to talk about it more, about how much she was really enjoying the show, but it was getting late and the night had been kind of...just right. So, instead, she moved for the door to the patio. "Goodnight," she said, with Tori returning the sentiment before shutting the door behind her.

There had to be a way to find out what the VR company did without having to buy a headset for it. Though, Jade supposed, if it came down to it, she just might have to.

-

“You’re going to take ten more,” Mistress Tawny purred at the nude woman bound to her sex bench, “And you’re going to count them for me, aren’t you?”

An explosive moan ripped from Brittany’s throat, her body already arching in anticipation, and then a response to Mistress Tawny’s check in: “Yes, Mistress,” communicating that Brittany hadn’t gone nonverbal. They were winding down the scene, they both knew that, with Mistress Tawny letting her know exactly what to expect for a grand finale. It had been a pretty typical scene for Brittany--pretty typically for several of her clients, really--beginning with getting Brittany into her submissive headspace (for Brittany, this was as simple as having her strip and putting a collar on her; other clients varied), then getting her positioned and bound onto the sex bench. Mistress Tawny warmed her up with lighter sensations and the particular kind of humiliation dirty-talk that Brittany enjoyed, and then gradually began to increase the intensity of the impact play. Brittany favored the slightly stingy leather paddle, which was what Mistress Tawny was ending the session with, though several other toys had made an appearance during their time together--a firmer, thuddier paddle, two different floggers, and even a few sharp hits with a riding crop when Brittany’s endorphins were rushing, though that was about the limit for her.

And now, Mistress Tawny found herself grinning at Brittany’s eager presentation of her bright pink ass, striped with darker red. She struck.

“One,” Brittany gasped out, body undulating as sensation flowed through her.

They continued moving through the final round of swats from the paddle, Brittany obediently counting, Mistress Tawny delighted by the sound of her voice as she counted, the strain and exertion and elation swirling into a delicious submissive energy that passed through her voice and into Mistress Tawny, who felt gratified and invigorated by the gift of her power.

They ended the session with one final firm swat, Brittany screaming, “ _Ten_!” and then collapsing onto the sex bench.

“Breathe for me,” Mistress Tawny reminded her softly, exaggerating the sound of her own breaths to give Brittany something to guide her. “You did incredible,” she praised, setting aside the paddle and moving to unfasten the restraints around the limp woman. Brittany was grinning widely, giggling wordlessly, and Mistress Tawny helped her to her feet and took off her collar, wrapping her nude form in a soft blanket. “Come sit with me,” she requested softly, holding her as they moved out of the Fungeon and into the aftercare space attached to the kitchen.

She carefully helped Brittany onto the loveseat and then went to the kitchen cabinet for a granola bar and to the fridge for a couple of bottles of water. The Mistress was sweating; a scene like that was intense for both parties, not to mention physically exhausting. She unscrewed the top of the water bottle for Brittany who accepted it and drank deeply, and then she unwrapped the granola bar and offered it, as well. Brittany ate and drank, still smiling like a fool as Mistress Tawny sat next to her and praised her between sips from her bottle of water, but then Brittany lay, head in Mistress Tawny’s lap, basking in the comfort and affection.

“Did you have fun?” Mistress Tawny asked her when she seemed to have recovered her sense of self somewhat.

“Oh my god, yes,” Brittany said in a rush, “God, I just...keep being able to take more, don’t I?”

“You do, but it’s not a competition,” Mistress Tawny reminded her with a laugh. She’d been working with Brittany for awhile, and she was definitely the type who wanted to expand her limits, something Mistress Tawny took a lot of care in doing with her--checking in with her before each toy without breaking roles, developing a communication system for how intense things were getting, and, of course, safewords, both verbal and nonverbal. It helped that she’d gotten quite good at reading Brittany’s body language over time, too--and really, the body language of her bottoms in general.

After sustenance and cuddles, Brittany was dressed and on her way, and Tori needed to take a moment to come back to herself, out of Mistress Tawny. It was something that took more time and care after a session like this than, say, the pet play sessions with Kris, which were frankly lowkey and cute in comparison. Consensually beating someone--and loving it--took a greater emotional toll, and Tori removed her Mistress bangs and turned on some soothing music, setting a ten minute timer and just meditating in the aftercare space.

When that was over, she felt more like herself, and let out a big, relieved breath. Now she could focus on any other work she needed to handle today. Sometimes, a scene gave her the flexibility to check her social media or email (though only ever the Mistress Tawny specific accounts, to maintain her headspace), like when a client specifically wanted to be ignored or left alone in a cage to wind down from pet play, but interactions like the one she’d just had with Brittany required her full attention. So, when she finally picked up her PearPhone, it was the first she saw of the few notifications on her screen.

She pulled up The Pleasure Professor’s account on Spectrogram. She’d posted that morning, announcing that the topic for the next video was going to be _The Hows and Whys of Pegging_ , and saw that it had gotten a lot of favorable feedback. But she quickly saw that Jade had commented; because they were mutual followers, her comment was one of the ones that appeared first.

 **ScissorLuv:** Definitely not missing this one. Nope.

It was almost certainly sarcasm, knowing Jade. But Tori laughed and rolled her eyes, then responded.

 **PleasureProf:** You might learn a thing or two!

Leave it to Jade to pull her back to herself. She might just be okay with the fact that she followed all of her accounts if she kept doing ridiculous things like this that made Tori laugh once a day.

-

By Tuesday, Jade's trip to Static Roasters was imminent, given that she'd literally used the very last of her own coffee beans that morning. It was nearby but still really too far to walk (at least by Los Angeles standards, but she'd regularly walked twice as far to get to her favorite local coffee house in Brooklyn), which was irritating in the sense that it meant she'd have to find a place to park. At least it was late morning on Tuesday, so there was a fair amount of street parking available, though the spot she found was still a block away from the shop.

As she strolled the sidewalk, Jade was convinced she spotted a television actor whose name she couldn't place, something that happened fairly regularly now that she was back in LA. That kind of thing would happen on occasion in New York, but even that felt different because of the way everyone was constantly thrust together whether it was on the sidewalk in Hell's Kitchen or on the express train that ran the entire length of Manhattan. Something about the tone and vibe of Los Angeles always made it feel like a photo op in progress. Which, maybe it was, but Jade didn't hear the _clickclickclick_ of a high speed telephoto lens (something she'd learned to pick up on when she'd dated Lana).

Whatever the case, Jade was fairly certain she'd made it into Static Roasters without being caught in any paparazzi crossfire. The coffee house was more modern than somewhere like YasssHomo, which had a cozy, almost 90s vibe about it. Static was dark polished wood and industrial metal, yet something else that reminded her of Brooklyn, particularly the craft roasteries in Williamsburg. What mattered, though, was that the place smelled like coffee.

 _Damn fine coffee_.

She perused the shelf of bagged whole beans, grabbing three different bags from three different regions, wanting to try everything, really, and a bag of the Guatemalan for Tori. At least she knew where to go, now. When it was time to pay, she also ordered herself a cup of pour over, watching as the barista measured and gently poured the hot water through the coffee grounds, the fresh coffee moving through the filter and into the waiting cup below. It was soothing and almost meditative, something Jade realized Tori was probably doing every morning, in her kitchen. If she felt like she'd actually have the bandwidth to do it herself upon waking up, Jade would probably prefer it, but she also knew she'd need a cup of coffee before making a cup of coffee in this manner.

But yeah, the beverage she'd just been handed smelled almost like mocha, tasted kind of like it, too. Not the crappy sugary junk Tori used to order, all the time, but like dark chocolate. Jade took a minute just to sit and sip the drink, enjoying it, taking her time. Okay, she needed to make this a regular stop. At least once a week. Twice a week. Hell, every other day. Whatever. Score one for Tori for finding this place.

She began the walk back to her car, still finishing her coffee, peering in the windows of the shops along the way. When she reached her car, she unlocked the passenger side, wanting to toss the bag off purchases in first so she wouldn't be fighting with it while trying to enter the driver's side with the Ventura Blvd traffic whipping past her. It wasn't too busy on the street, but it was always a little bit of a challenge to get into the car with your hands full when you were parked curbside. Just as she was about to walk around the car, she looked over at the strip mall on the other side of the road.

Right there, in black and pink, there was a sign for Moustache Media.

She took a moment to decide whether to bring her coffee with her, and decided yes, then made her way down to the crosswalk at the stoplight so she could cross to the strip mall, eyes fixed on the logo as if it might disappear. As she traversed the small parking lot, moving toward the door to Moustache Media, she noticed something else: Tori’s Subaru was parked in front of it, distinctive because of the stickers on the rear bumper: a rainbow, the Moustache Media logo, and one that just said _Make it Shine_. And, just to be certain (not that she really needed to), Jade checked the front of the car, too, and yep, there was the giant moustache decal on the front bumper under the grille.

Definitely Tori’s car. Definitely Tori’s workplace.

She’d found Moustache Media.

The front windows of the establishment were tinted, impossible to see into. Jade approached the door, glancing at it to see that it said in large letters _By Appointment Only_. Ignoring it, Jade tugged on the door handle.

 _Locked_. Jade glared at it. There was a speaker mounted on the doorframe. Jade jabbed the call button.

A lightly accented male voice answered. “Moustache Media. Do you have an appointment?”

Somehow, she’d expected Tori to answer. “Uh, yes,” Jade replied, thrown a little.

“Under what name, please?” the man replied.

“Um,” Jade tried to think fast, “Nancy Swain,” she blurted.

“I’m sorry, you do not have an appointment,” the voice replied firmly.

Jade let out a harsh sigh, jabbing the button again, “Listen, you tell To--” She was cut off by a loud buzzing sound issuing from the speaker system.

“ _Go away_ ,” the voice replied firmly, “You are not welcome here.”

“Fine!” Jade yelled, though she didn’t press the button to convey it through the speaker. Fuming, she stalked off. Well, how was she supposed to get an appointment?

Jade headed back to her car before the midday sun started to make her sweat. Okay, an appointment. She remembered seeing the inquiries section on The Mistress’s website, so once she was seated in her car with the air conditioning on (which barely worked, since her car was so old, but it was better than nothing), she opened The Mistress’s Spectrogram and clicked on the website link.

She clicked the section for inquiries, which led to a long list of information, starting with links to Mistress Tawny’s interests, limits, and wishlist under the heading _Read First_. Jade scrolled through a lot of text down to the bottom of the page, which had a whole section to fill out, like, even more than what she had just filled out for scissHER.

Okay, no way. That was way too much effort just to get the time and attention of someone she practically _lived_ with.

Instead, Jade went back to Mistress Tawny’s Spectrogram, noticing that, yep, it did actually say No DMs in her bio. Okay, fine. She went to her most recent post and left a comment instead.

 **ScissorLuv:** I want an appointment!

Meanwhile, she debated just texting Tori. But just as she pulled up the texting app and sent a _**Tori!**_ , a notification pushed through that someone had replied to her comment.

 **MrSkinnyJeans:** That comment is going to get you blocked.

Jade clicked on the username and very quickly realized that it was...Sinjin. Come to think of it, _that’s_ why that username was familiar.

She sent him a direct message.

 **ScissorLuv:** Sinjin!? Are you still creeping?

 **MrSkinnyJeans:** No. When you get paid for it, it’s called monitoring.

 **ScissorLuv:** What?!

 **MrSkinnyJeans:** Just a friendly warning

And by the time Jade tried to navigate back to The Mistress’s page, she was blocked.

And Tori hadn’t texted her back.

Jade groaned and sighed at the same time. Okay, fine. If she needed to buy a VR headset to get to the bottom of this, she’d buy a VR headset.

There was a Best Guys store in the shopping complex about a mile up Ventura Blvd, so Jade immediately headed there, eyeing the VR section, which had about a dozen different devices on display. She didn’t really know much about VR, even though it had picked up in popularity over the last several years. A lot of virtual reality content was still accessible via PearPhone with a wearable adapter, which was another thing that made whatever Tori was doing even more mysterious.

Jade hated actually talking to anyone who worked anywhere (the exception being baristas and the video store clerks at the lone video rental shop in all of the Los Angeles area and probably America), so she did a quick ZapLook search for "best budget VR gear" and pulled up a list, trying desperately not to look like someone who needed assistance so that no one approached her. Finally, she matched up one of the listed items online with one they had at the store, the VirtualPearality360, which was just under a hundred bucks and had decent reviews. Perfect. Good. She grabbed one off the shelf and quickly walked toward the registers, clocking a sales rep in her peripheral vision. Sorry, pal. You're no match for Jade West's thumbs.

While in line, she eyed the display of new releases and spotted a remastered ten-year anniversary release of _The Invitation_. She already owned a copy of it, but this one had even more features on it. Fine. It was that kind of a day. Just as she was being called to register six, she snatched the disc from the rack and tossed it on the counter along with her VR purchase.

Once she was home, she immediately tore into the package of the VR unit, unwrapping the charger cable and plugging the thing into the wall, then placing the headset on the charging dock. It was apparently supposed to fully charge in thirty minutes, so she just needed to figure out how to kill a half an hour. She put away her coffee, cataloged her new movie purchase and filed it onto the shelf, checked her email (nothing), eyed the yard through the window to decide when she should cut the grass next, then checked the time. Fifteen minutes. That was enough to get started.

She pulled the headset over her eyes and used the handheld remote to navigate through the setup menus. There was actually a lot this thing offered when she wasn't on a mission to find out just what her ex-girlfriend was up to on this exclusive corner of the internet. Finally, she finished the minimum amount of setup required to poke around the device. It did actually feel like she was sitting in an interactive environment, waving the remote around and clicking on icons. At the bottom task bar, she found the browser options and clicked it. Ugh, now she had to type in the web address of Tori's website. She pulled the headset off, her eyes already reacting to the shift in light, grabbed her phone and found the still-open tab to _virtualencounters.vr.web_.

_Jeez, Jade, you couldn't just remember that?_

Back in the virtual space, she entered the address and watched as it loaded. The main page was the same she'd already seen but it was certainly much more intense when it was immersive. This time, when she clicked the enter button, it prompted her to make a user account. There was a free option, but there appeared to be different paywall tiers available. For now, she clicked on the freebie account and entered one her standard sockpuppet user credentials. When she confirmed the creation of _HerDarkMaterials726_ , a new page loaded, offering a half dozen videos to watch, but none of them seemed to feature Tori. They _did_ all appear to be erotic in nature, though Jade couldn't quite place why.

Instead of just watching what felt like a very large video (which was what she’d assumed it would be like), she was in a 360 degree space, one she could look at from all angles. It was, like...not porn, but it felt like something porny could happen at any minute? Maybe it was the voyeuristic placement of the camera. Or maybe it was that this particular video was a woman dancing suggestively around her in what looked like a 1940s nurse's uniform. This was...fascinating. But also she wasn't here to watch Stranger Nurse dance around. Jade exited the video and clicked on the icon that offered access to more videos. Of course they were the ones behind the paywall. She clicked around the site menu, finding a link to a page titled _Always Original Content_ that briefly described that all interactive videos hosted on the site were created by the performers themselves. There was an image of an early version of the site showing six different video channels and...all of them seemed to feature Tori. Maybe? And there, below that was a list of names that corresponded to the images above.

Lexi Powers, Mary Jane, Officer Arlene Pedesko, Captain Catherine Obvious, Louise Nordoff, and Crystal Waters.

All of them were clickable and routed to performer bios for each one, so Jade began working through them in order. On all of them, the video access was limited to premium subscribers, but there were a few stills that, along with the profile information, were enough to give Jade an idea of each one. Lexi Powers was some kind of...Northridge girl? She showed a lot of midriff and apparently asked viewers to take her shopping all the time. Mary Jane, Jade already knew about, so she only glanced briefly enough to confirm it was the same stoner persona. Officer Pedesko was practically identical to Jade's memory of the character from their acting exercise so many years ago, except that her bright red lipstick was actually applied correctly. There also didn't seem to be any Raisin Bran involved. It did, however, appear that the officer performed some kind of authoritarian power play role and that had Jade curious. Captain Catherine Obvious had a superhero aura about her, but it looked as if everything she did took place in a gym and the overall purpose was for her to exercise and flex for the viewer. Louise Nordoff was maybe some kind of prototype for the Pleasure Professor? The bio listed "awkward sex talk" as one of her specialties. Crystal Waters had a posh way about her, with a short blonde bob and a faux-fur coat wrapped around her. "Size-shaming" and "general humiliation" were among the tags listed.

Okay, but if Jade wanted to actually know what this was all about, she was going to have to pay. _Fuck it_ , she was in this deep. Again, she emerged from under the headset into the bright daylight that flooded the windows of the guest house. She fumbled for her PearPhone, allowing her PearPay to sync to the VR device, then yanked it back on over her head.

 _All right, Tori. Time to see just how much you're raking in on all this_. Jade clicked through to the Premium Membership signup page and agreed to be billed $39.99 a month (okay, she probably needed to put a reminder in her phone to cancel this, immediately--also, _damn, Tori_ ).

But Premium Membership offered unlimited access to all the videos, and if Jade was going to do this, she was going to do this in full. So, with full access, Jade began to explore.

The video content appeared to arrange itself by date, which meant a plethora of channels appeared under her full access Premium Membership, but by clicking on the six original channels, Jade was able to start exploring. And it looked like several of the channels hadn’t been used in awhile; Lexi Powers and Louise Nordoff hadn’t been updated in three years, and Crystal Waters’s last video was from two years ago. Maybe she’d look at some of that later, but she was more curious about the newer stuff that Tori was working on, so she navigated to Captain Obvious, who had a recent video from a week ago.

Jade toggled the video with her handheld remote, and it filled her vision.

She found herself in a room, in front of a chin-up bar. She looked around, up and down, getting a sense of the space. There was gym equipment all around her, and the space felt fairly real, like she was actually standing in someone’s home gym with a chin-up bar, a weight bench, and a rack of weights, but also oddly, unnaturally vivid.

And Tori was there, in spandex leggings and a sports bra with some kind of superhero logo on the front of it. She was strapping little black fingerless gloves onto her hands, flexing her fingers and ignoring Jade--or the camera, whatever--completely. She hopped up, grabbing the pull-up bar, and slowly began to lift herself up.

Jade stared, impressed. But also, she was curious what else there was, and scrubbed a little bit through the video. Tori hopped down after a couple of reps to do the same thing facing the other way, giving Jade an image of those back muscles that were _definitely_ part of the slideshow on the homepage of Virtual Encounters. _Damn_.

And then, as she scrubbed through the video, Tori disappeared from view and Jade had to look around to find her again. She was off to the side, on the weight bench that Jade had noticed when she’d first taken in the space. And she was still ignoring the camera completely, lifting weights, absolutely glistening with sweat, emitting breathy exhales. The bench had an attached leg developer as well, so as Jade scrubbed through the video she was treated to an image of Tori, or, okay, _Captain Catherine Obvious_ , on her stomach, thighs and glutes flexing as she executed some leg curls. Jade stared helplessly. Okay. This wasn’t porn, but it was certainly _hot_ , and it was an interesting, voyeuristic setup, watching someone work out in private. She could certainly understand how some people would be really into this, especially since it had been tagged “muscle worship”...if people were into _that_ , this would certain be erotic.

But then, as Jade pushed toward the end of the video, there was an abrupt moment after Tori finished her bicep curls where she looked _straight into Jade’s eyes_...or that’s how it felt. She stood, voice low, and husked, “Do you want to touch me?” as she flexed her upper body, standing _so close_ to the camera that it almost seemed, for a moment, like maybe Jade _could_ touch her arms. She stared as Tori executed a couple of different poses, skin shining, sweat on her hairline, muscles standing out. Jade imagined she could feel the heat radiating off of her. Or maybe that was just Jade, herself.

Okay, well, she understood (very clearly) what that was about. She closed the video and clicked on Mary Jane.

The most recent video of hers was from a few weeks ago, but one a little older caught her eye, because it was Tori and...that was definitely Holly.

She opened that one and there were Tori and Holly, sitting on a couch together, in front of a table with various weed paraphernalia on it. But in this one, they were looking directly into the camera. Jade felt like she was sitting in a chair across from them in someone’s sparsely decorated living room.

“Hey, guys,” Tori drawled, voice slightly rough and her tone measured, slow, “I’m here today with Holly from Holly’s Herbal Remedies. How are you today, Holly?”

“I’m great, Mary Jane, how are you?” Holly replied, sounding a lot like herself.

“Today we’re going to talk about edibles, and how microdosing can really help some people maintain stability. And we’re going to smoke some of this flower that Holly brought--”

Okay, this was _way_ too weird, to see Tori and her mom getting high together while pretending they weren’t related. Jade backed out of that one and tried one with Tori solo.

It was similar, with Tori doing some kind of interactive bit with the camera. She showed you her weed, she talked about her process of grinding it and rolling it, she lit it. It was oddly soothing, actually. Jade wasn’t sure this qualified as erotic, but there was something captivating all the same.

At least until Tori asked, “What if like, aliens aren’t a separate species at all, and they’re just what happens when a human gets really, really old while traveling through space from a parallel Earth?”

Aaaaand, Jade wasn’t high enough for this channel. Though, she _could_ be, she realized, but no. Instead, she backed out of that video and clicked on the Officer Pedesko page. There was one from ten days ago.

Jade selected the video, and felt like she was transported to a room, similar to the home gym, but instead, there was what looked like a small jail cell in front of her. Approaching the cell was a redheaded woman who looked vaguely familiar, wearing only a bra and panty set and a pair of heels, being led by Officer Pedesko, red lipstick standing out bright in contrast with her dark blue uniform. Neither looked toward the camera; apparently this was another voyeuristic setup.

Jade watched as Officer Pedesko roughly pushed the woman up against the wall next to the cell, commanding the redhead to, “Put your hands on the wall and spread your legs!” Oh god. That _accent_ was still there, maybe a little less hyperbolic, but present, and somehow harsher now.

The redhead moaned, spreading her legs and pushing out her ass, and Jade watched as Officer Pedesko performed a _very_ unnecessarily thorough pat-down of a lot of bare skin, making the redhead squirm. “Don’t move,” Officer Pedesko warned, “Or I’ll be forced to restrain you.”

“Oh, I’ll cooperate, Officer,” the woman simpered.

“Good,” Officer Pedesko growled, grabbing her nightstick and sliding it up the woman’s inner thigh slowly, “And you’re going to tell me what I want to know, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know anything,” the woman whined pitifully.

“Like hell,” Officer Pedesko grabbed her by her upper arm and forced her into the nearby cell, locking her inside. The redhead stumbled inside, then grabbed the bars and looked out at the officer, eyes pleading. “You tell me where I can find the evidence,” Officer Pedesko said, circling the cage, running the nightstick along the bars. The woman moved her fingers just in time to avoid having them get hit.

“I swear, I don’t know!”

Okay, that was...interesting, but also kind of _a lot_. She could certainly see the appeal of watching a lady police officer manhandle and threaten a scantily-clad woman, but Jade wasn’t sure how much the voyeuristic element appealed to her in that scenario. Part of what had been so stimulating about the Captain Catherine Obvious video was the way she had abruptly broken the fourth wall and drawn Jade into the action. And maybe that was coming later in the video, but Jade clicked on a different one.

Jade jolted backwards immediately, because in _this_ video, _she_ was inside the cage, and Officer Pedesko was _right_ in her face, eyes hard, bright red mouth firm. “You’re going to tell me what I want to know,” she snarled at Jade.

Jade actually opened her mouth to respond before she realized it would be useless. Instead, she watched apprehensively as Officer Pedesko circled the cell, nightstick clanging against the bars.

And _oh god_ , this was intense. “Think you’re clever, don’t you?” she drawled in that accented voice, “Don’t worry. I’ve got ways of making you talk.” The authoritative energy seemed to come off of her in waves, and Jade felt like if she were standing, her knees would be weak.

 _Oh god_. Was she _aroused_ by this? Did she want to masturbate? She hesitated, because it was hard to say _what_ she was feeling about this right now, just that she _definitely_ understood this channel, but also, she was wearing a VR Headset, and she was so immersed in this that if Tori happened to walk in, she would have _no_ idea…

Jade took off the headset, docked it to charge it more, blinking and reacclimating to her living room, feeling like she had dropped out of another world and back into her own. _Holy shit_.

How had Tori taken that police officer who had been obsessed with Raisin Bran and turned her into...this? It was weird how well Jade remembered that night, the method acting sleepover at Sikowitz’s. She remembered the way Tori had assigned her the Betty Sue character--with an expression _a lot_ like the one she’d used when she’d assigned her _again_ at the Fet Ball--a challenge combined with intrigue. And how Jade had been hyper-focused on preparing for the role, listening to the accent, embodying the headspace of _sweetness_. How she was pretty confident that she could stay in character, but also, how much she wanted _Tori_ to see that she could do it.

How she’d chosen her outfit, wanting something that portrayed a little bit of unchaste energy, a little subversion to Tori’s request, and how she’d felt vindicated when her outfit was apparently the first thing Tori noticed about her.

The way Tori had shoved Raisin Bran in her mouth, provoking her, and how it had made Jade redouble her commitment to _do this right_. The way it had only bothered her when Beck, as the British man with no boundaries, had gotten too close to Tori.

It wasn’t until she was faced with Officer Pedesko, once again, as an adult, that it struck her how much she had focused on Tori, even before they started dating. How much she’d sought her attention, how often she’d provoked a reaction from her.

And all at once, Jade understood why she had let Tori kiss her in the library, so many years ago. It was related to Officer Pedesko, yet wasn’t. But it was certainly related to the way Jade had been borderline obsessed with Tori since she’d arrived at Hollywood Arts. She’d told herself at the time that it was because Tori wanted Beck, but that was laughable, now.

No, Jade had absolutely been attracted to her and been in denial about it.

God, she was _so gay_.

Even that thought wasn’t so new. Jade had been evaluating her identity for a while, now. The last time she’d slept with a man, she’d been in college. And since then, the kinds of connection she sought, as short term as they were, she’d sought with women. Initially, it had been about safety. There was less risk in sleeping with women, physically and sexually. Jade just wasn’t comfortable seeking that kind of connection with men anymore. She didn’t think it was trauma-related, either, from that idiot who’d tried to choke her, thinking he was pulling a sexy move. She just...wasn’t that interested in men, anymore. Hadn’t been for awhile.

She’d identified as bisexual for so long that there was some comfort in the label, and she was certainly open to the possibility that she might be into men again in her future, but for now? She was also perfectly comfortable calling herself a lesbian, or at the very least with people assuming that about her. It felt a lot closer to her actual truth, that she was a woman who sought romantic and sexual connections with women, and exclusively women, for over a decade now.

And she was a woman who definitely wanted Officer Pedesko to show her what she meant about _making her talk_.

After her Officer Pedesko-related sexual crisis, the headset still charging, Jade grabbed her phone and punched out a message.

**Found your friends**

**Which ones?**

**All of them. Officer Pedesko? Really?**

**IDK you were pretty quick to bring Betty Sue back to life**

**Is that all of it? Workshops, sex ed videos, Mistress Tawny, and the VR gang?**

Jade was ready for _Mostly_ or _You could say that_ or _Depends on how you define “all of it_.” But instead the reply was a simple:

**Yes.**

Her body pushed out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in. That was it. She'd figured it out.

**Are you home now?**

**Yeah**

**I'm leaving my parents' house**

**I can be home in half an hour**

**I'll bring dinner**

**You can ask me anything**

**I promise to answer**

She was already high on the success of solving the mystery of Tori's diversified occupations, but the news that Tori planned to open up...that felt pretty good, too. Not that Tori needed to know just how much she'd been anticipating a chance to actually discuss all this.

**K**

**I'll be here**

Meanwhile, she still had thirty minutes before Tori was due back and, to be honest, she was incredibly curious about what else the VR system offered. You know, that wasn't going to make her unbearably horny. It had been charging for a few minutes and that was enough to give her a chance to browse a bit.

There were several apps that reflected their handheld PearPhone counterparts and the icon for SplashFaceVR stood out to her. She clicked and was presented with a list of 180 and 360 degree videos, a lot of them about nature or wildlife (a lot of ocean stuff which, _nope_ ), and felt like she'd hit the jackpot when an entire playlist of interactive horror shorts pulled up on the screen. But after clicking and scrubbing through a couple of them, she was underwhelmed. Sure, it was cool, but something about the way the videos likely had to be lit gave everything a flat texture which kind of looked like...porn. Hmm, maybe that was the quality she'd picked up on with the Moustache Media videos. Well, that and the pure eroticism that radiated from them.

Despite the quality of the videos, Jade could appreciate what they wanted to accomplish. There was something compelling about the watcher point-of-view storytelling, it just needed the right narrative to make it work with the technology rather than against it.

This current one she was watching actually had a much better sense of tone, creating a bit of dread that had Jade feeling like she could sense the chill in the air and the hand on her shoulder. No, _shit_ , someone was touching her.

She jerked away from the contact, pulling at the headset. "Don't touch me!" she shouted, looking up to see...Tori. " _What the fuck_ ," Jade gasped.

"I knocked first. But I could also see you through the window and figured you couldn't hear me. The door was unlocked, so..."

"So you _grabbed_ me?"

"Jade, I said your name like five times."

Okay, this thing was way more immersive than she originally thought. It was probably a really good thing she hadn't decided to masturbate with it on. She set the VR on the end table and stood, rubbing at her face, which felt a little warm. "Uh, so, dinner?" Tori was laughing about something. "What?"

"You, um..." she gestured to her own face, drawing a circle around the upper half, around her glasses.

Jade turned to look in the small mirror that hung next to the door. There was a very clear pink ring around her eyes from the VR goggles. "Oh."

"I brought pizza. But before that, I thought maybe you could use a little something. Compliments of my mother," Tori said, waving a familiar plastic tube in the air.

Yeah, if there was ever a conversation Jade felt like she might want to smoke weed for, it was probably the one about how her ex-girlfriend launched an erotic virtual reality empire.

-

Tori sparked her lighter and brought the flame to the end of the joint, pulling a slow, easy hit. Vaping bud always hit differently than smoking it this way and she wanted to take her time. She passed the lit joint to Jade, who took her own cautious pull from it.

As she exhaled, Jade said, "So, this VR thing."

Tori waited for more of a question, but Jade just stared at her. "Virtual Encounters." Still nothing more than an expectant look from across the picnic table. "It's a digital space to explore kink and desire outside of the realm of pornography."

Finally, Jade cracked a smile and spoke. "Is that the tagline?"

"Something like that." They'd each taken one more hit from the joint, but Jade had signaled she was good, for now, so Tori extinguished the cherry and set it down in the glass ashtray that sat in the middle of the table.

Jade flipped open the pizza box, grabbing one of the paper plates that sat next to it and pulled out a slice, passed it to Tori, then served herself. "So, I guess my first question is, how did you even end up doing something like this?"

"Well, it's kind of a lot of things," Tori began. "When I was in Vancouver, I was kind of seeing this girl, Meghan. We didn't really date--"

"Surprise, surprise."

Tori narrowed her eyes, "-- _that seriously_ , but we definitely spent some time together and there was a point where she wanted to show me some porn." Jade's eyes grew wider with interest, at this point. "But when she did, she only cared about the opening of it, like the part before anyone has sex."

"So, the cheesy porno storyline? Like when the beefed up pizza guy shows up?"

"Yeah, basically. Though, in this case, it was a police officer scene."

"Oh? Maybe a little something like what Officer Pedesko gets up to with that cage?"

"So you watched some of the videos."

"Of course I did, you saw me wearing the VR thing."

"How many did you watch?"

"Okay, no, I'm still caught up in you telling the origin story."

Tori sighed. "So, Meghan was into the build-up before the porn started. And it seemed like...kind of weird, but then not really. There's plenty of stuff in movies that’s sexy but not overtly sexual."

"Yeah, of course."

"But I didn't think too much about it again until I’d moved back to LA and started going to play parties--"

"--with Patrice."

"And also with _other_ friends I made later," Tori corrected. "Seeing what people were into got me thinking about how much of it isn't actually sexual or isn't the act of sex. Like, okay, seriously...how many videos did you look at?" At Jade's eye roll, Tori clarified, "Come on, it's relevant."

"I guess like a half dozen?"

"Which ones?"

Jade was starting to turn a little pink being put on the spot. "Uh, Officer Pedesko, obviously. Mary Jane, with your mom. And...the workout one."

"Perfect. So, Captain Obvious is about muscle worship and workout voyeurism." Tori chewed on her pizza before adding, "She also keeps me in shape."

"Can't argue there." Jade twisted open one of the water bottles Tori had provided. "So you had this idea for a non-porn porn site."

"I prefer not to label it that way, but yeah, basically. It started as a SpankSpace account, but I didn't like the access people felt like they had to me, as a person. Plus, I couldn't monetize my work."

Jade nodded. "So you launched your own."

"Yeah. I'd been talking to Andre and he mentioned Sinjin set up his latest website for his music and--"

"Oh god, Sinjin doesn't have a page, does he?"

"He's not a performer, no. He handles all the digital security and hosting elements. But, also...he's an interesting guy."

"Yeah, he's a creep."

"He's grown up. Mostly." But Jade clearly wasn't interested in what Sinjin was into. "Anyway, he and I sorted out the basics, but I still wanted something different than just regular content. I went to a munch with some fr--"

"I'm sorry, _a what_?"

"A munch. It's when kink and BDSM folks get together, but just to hang out. It's not a play party."

"Huh. I guess I didn't think about what you guys did when you weren't, you know, tying each other up."

"I'm ignoring your ignorance," Tori replied. She knew Jade was giving her a hard time, but there was also part of her that really wanted Jade to truly understand the kinky side of her life if they were going to be friends. "Anyway, someone had brought a VR setup, just for fun and, of course, they ended up looking up porn, because everyone was curious about it. And, when it was my turn, I suddenly realized how much it fit with what I wanted to do."

For as much as Jade had been teasing her, the look that passed over her face was one of clarity. "By making the experience immersive, you're allowing the viewer to become a participant."

Tori felt her mouth pull into a wide smile as Jade nailed it. " _Exactly_."

“So, okay,” Jade seemed to be really considering some of this as she chewed her pizza, “You’re not the only performer on the site, but it looks like it started out as just you. But a couple of your...personas or whatever haven’t been used in awhile.” Tori nodded. “So...what’s up with that?”

“Well, we expanded by offering space to other performers because it was a model other people were interested in, too. Everything has to meet certain quality standards to appear on our site. Most of it is erotic in nature, a lot of fetish work, though there’s nothing explicitly pornographic. Some of it is more meditative, like ASMR, but it’s all the kind of work that utilizes the VR medium well.”

Jade shuddered, “I tried ASMR once, because someone said it soothed their anxiety, but it was all eating sounds, and I hated it.”

“There are lots of other kinds that don’t involve mouth sounds. You should try the doctor roleplay ones, I think you’d like those,” Tori suggested, because close personal attention was something Jade seemed to appreciate in interactions in general.

“Sounds kinky.” But Jade moved past it before Tori could refute that, “But your personas?”

“Sure, I was getting to that. So...yeah, I created a few personas to start out the site, mostly because I was trying to figure out what would work, and also what people would pay for. And a lot of fetish work relies on specific requests. But...I kind of quickly realized that request work wasn’t something I found particularly fulfilling in this kind of medium.” She took a bite, and saw that Jade was watching with interest, not looking particularly disturbed, either. So she continued, “I liked having control over what was happening, and crafting what I’d like my audience to see and experience. So the more request based personas got phased out over time. Other performers on the site are happy to do request work, though.”

“What kinds of requests did you get?” Jade sounded fascinated.

“Let’s see. The Louise Nordoff personality was mostly a dirty talk persona with a super nerdy veneer, which I thought would make it easier for me to take request work, if I could put an educational spin on it, and, okay, make fun of it a little, too.” She was already working on The Pleasure Professor at this point, but she was playing with the idea of erotic sex education with Louise Nordoff, with limited success, in her opinion. “For that I took requests for the kind of dirty talk people wanted to hear, and that got old, especially without a lot of feedback in the moment to react to. And Crystal Waters was similar, but with a specific angle to her.”

“I did notice the size-shaming tag,” Jade smirked.

“Yeah,” Tori nodded, “So her work was also kind of geared toward men, or at least, penises. Which was...well, even if I assume a lot of my viewers are men, it’s harder when they’re specifically requesting the ways they wanted me to humiliate them. But the more I did it, the more it started to remind me of the videos I used to do for The Slap. You remember, when I would take requests?”

“Oh, _I do_ ,” Jade nodded.

“Yeah, I mean, I kind of thought it was good preparation for this kind of work in a weird way, because I definitely did some stuff as a teenager that was like...fetish-adjascent work. But at the same time, people got _so_ weird with their requests on The Slap, and that started to happen with Louise Nordoff and Crystal Waters for me, too. So that’s why I phased them out.”

“I definitely remember you made some _weird_ videos back then, now that you mention it…” Jade looked thoughtful, “Like, people pouring condiments all over your body kind of weird…”

Tori shivered, but she laughed, “There’s certainly a market for that kind of thing. Food and mess is not really the kind of work I’m into, though.”

“So what about that last one? The trashy one?”

“Well, Lexi Powers was kind of a Fin Domme kind of persona.” At Jade’s puzzled look, she said, “Financial Domination, basically eroticizing giving up control of finances to the point of bankruptcy. But it wasn’t something I was very good at.” It was also an early attempt at figuring out how to monetize her work, but as people purchased subscriptions, the purpose of the persona changed quickly. “Findom is all about crafting a persona that people, usually men, _want_ to send money to, and though some want almost nothing in return, others think that entitles them some access to you, which was the exact reason I left SpankSpace. I ended up treating that one more like an acting exercise, because I learned Findom gets uncomfortable for me fast. Like, I’m fine if submissives want to send me gifts, monetary or not, but I’m not into the idea of draining someone’s finances.”

“Well that’s...weird,” Jade said, “But makes sense, I guess. It sounds like some of this was a performance outlet for you, too.”

“Definitely,” Tori agreed, “I’ve never stopped loving performance.”

They’d had a couple slices of pizza each at this point, and seemed to be slowing down. Tori was starting to feel kind of full, and Jade was simply sitting and watching Tori, arms folded in front of her, pizza crusts sitting on her paper plate.

Tori picked back up the joint. “Want any more of this?”

Jade nodded, “Why not?” she agreed.

“Come on,” Tori said, taking off her glasses and setting them on the picnic table, then grabbing the blanket that she kept draped over a chair on the patio and walking out onto the lawn. She spread out the blanket, placing the glass ashtray on it and sitting down. Jade joined her a moment later as Tori sparked the joint once again.

“Are you still gay?” Jade asked out of the blue.

Tori controlled her breath and laughed on exhale, “What kind of question is that?”

Jade shrugged, avoiding her eyes as she accepted the joint she was passed, taking a thoughtful drag. “I don’t know. Just, with the work you do, the male-centric video work, and like, I know your website says you don’t service cis-men, but that implies you _might_ have have trans male clients, and from things you’ve said, it sounds like you might play with men at kink events sometimes?”

It was a fair question, Tori supposed. Kink was definitely a part of her sexuality, but it was based on something different from gender, for her. “I still see myself and identify as gay,” Tori replied, “Because all of my sexual experiences and relationships have been with women. The eroticism of kink is different for me. I mean, first of all, it’s mostly _work_ for me. Even at play parties, there’s an element of networking, because others watching me get a bigger, stronger guy to submit to me might be intrigued enough to hire me. That’s not to say I get nothing out of it; there is an erotic enjoyment whenever someone bottoms for me. But it’s very, very different from anything kinky I might actually do in the bedroom with a woman I’m attracted to.”

“That makes sense,” Jade said, though she sounded like she was still processing it as they passed the weed.

“And I do have trans male clients. The restriction for cis-men is partially a safety issue, and partially that I want to provide my services to my own community, anyway, since we’re often marginalized and forgotten in mainstream sex culture. And actually, I do have one cis-male client. He’s a special exception, because his kink is cleaning, and he actually does a good job of it.”

Jade laughed at this, “Okay, I get it.” She leaned back a little on the blanket, relaxing further. “So, I feel like I remember you saying something about how your mom knows about The Pleasure Professor, but do your parents know, like...all of it?”

“They do,” Tori replied. She offered the joint one more time.

Jade shook her head, and Tori put it out. “Okay, how did _that_ conversation go?”

“Which one?”

“I mean...you know. The conversation about The Mistress.”

Tori smirked. “Oh, that was...interesting.” Jade’s back straightened and she turned more toward Tori on the blanket, full attention on her. “So, I asked to meet them at the house to talk to them for about an hour or so, because I had something important to tell them. And they were concerned, of course, but I came in, I assured them that I didn’t have any bad news, but that it might be difficult to hear.” Tori paused, both to mentally script what came next, and also for dramatic effect. “And I told them that I had begun offering my services as a professional dominatrix.”

“Oh my god,” Jade was already chuckling, “What did they say?”

“I didn’t give them a chance to respond to that,” Tori grinned, “I told them they just had to listen. I assured them I wasn’t having sex with any of my clients--so my dad didn’t have to tell any of his old police buddies anything. I told them that I was happy and that I was doing everything I could to ensure my safety. And then I told them that they may not want to hear this, but because they were swingers, sometimes our circles overlapped, and I wanted them to know as much as they could about the kink lifestyle so that we could ensure that we never saw each other in positions we _really_ didn’t need to see.”

Jade was guffawing, “You did not.”

Tori nodded, trying to suppress a proud grin, “Oh, I did. And then.” She pressed her lips together, trying to suppress laughter now, “And then, I said, ‘You remember my friend and sometimes lover Patrice Kline? In order to help you understand my lifestyle, I’m going to have Patrice talk to you, since she’s nonmonogamous herself, and closer to your age than I am.’ And then I left.”

Jade was laughing so hard she slumped back onto the blanket entirely, “You didn’t!” she got out between breaths.

“I did,” Tori said, satisfied, reclining back on the blanket next to Jade.

There was a lull of silence and Tori assumed it was because Jade needed to process everything she'd just taken in. It was a lot, for sure.

"Tori." Jade finally said.

"Yeah?" She wasn't sure what this meant, like if Jade had more questions or if she was weirded out by any of it.

"You're a goddamn genius."

 _Oh_. "That...wasn't what I thought you were about to say," Tori admitted.

-

"You have this incredible business model for a lucrative niche industry. And, like, the use of the VR is...I mean, it's brilliant." The weed was definitely partially responsible for the free-flowing praise, but Jade also really meant it. Sure, there were aesthetic suggestions already running through her brain, but maybe there were limitations based on the way Tori had to set up the cameras. She shifted, twisting onto her side, head tucked under her arm. "Can I come see the studio? Or the Fungeon? Whatever you call where you shoot this stuff?"

"You want a tour?" Tori laughed.

"Hell, yes."

Tori turned to face Jade. "Are you free tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, I don't have any appointments until two."

"Then we'll go after coffee. Around ten?"

Jade squinted, her stoned mind processing the information. "The coffee's at ten or we leave at ten?"

"We leave at ten. Coffee's at nine. By the way, you've already been to where I work."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't let me in." Jade paused. "Wait, you knew I was there?"

"Well, you did demand an appointment on Spectrogram. And also Kwakoo told me about how Nancy Swain showed up."

"That was _Kwakoo_? Like from Nozu?"

Tori nodded. "He's the only Kwakoo I know."

"I swear this gets weirder every time you tell me someone we know is involved," Jade said. She was starting to get tired, her eyes drifting closed as she waited for Tori to explain more about Kwakoo's involvement.

"He's my front desk security and receptionist."

"Figures." Jade took in a slow, deep breath, letting her body relax into the blanket. But then something poked at her shoulder. "What?"

"You definitely just fell asleep."

"I did not."

"What's the last thing I said?"

"Kwakoo's your secretary."

"So you missed the part about what happened when the contractor used the wrong hooks to install the sex swing in the Fungeon?"

Jade's eyes flew open. "What?"

Tori smirked at her. "Guess I'll have to retell that story tomorrow. Go to bed."

"Okay," Jade said, pulling herself upright. "But only because I want to." She helped Tori fold up the large blanket, then said, "See you in the morning," before shuffling toward her guest house.

"Hey, Jade?" Tori said, standing at the door to her own house.

"Hmm?" she spun back around to look at her.

"I'm glad you're...okay with all of it. Some people aren't and it makes it hard. To, you know, be friends."

"Yeah, well. It's weird and it's wild, but it's fucking smart how you turned it all into something you really seem to love." Jade offered a stoney shrug. "It's cool. Jesus, I'm _so high_. I'll have better thoughts tomorrow, during the tour."

"Goodnight," Tori said.

"Yeah, goodnight," Jade replied, letting herself into the house.

Of all the ways she pictured the day could have gone when leaving for coffee that morning, she never would have guessed it would lead her everywhere it ultimately did. She had so many technical questions about all of it, her mind floating all of them at once through her THC-addled brain. As she prepped to get into bed, she just let her thoughts wander, picturing ways to enhance the work Tori was already doing, wondering if certain lighting setups would create more depth when things seemed flat. By the time she slipped into bed, she was scripting a theoretical scene, imagining the technology allowed for actual, real time, interaction.

As she fell asleep, she wasn't specifically thinking about an encounter with Officer Pedesko, but she wasn't avoiding it, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Don’t Let Me Go_ by Cigarettes After Sex 
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> “Okay,” Jade thought she remembered this being mentioned last night, “Why do you have a sex swing if no one is having sex?”
> 
> “Well, it’s kind of a way to cheat at a certain form of suspension bondage. I’m quite good at the kinds of knots that bind limbs, but I still have a long way to go when it comes to full-body bondage. I need a lot of practice, and someone to practice on. For now, people who just kind of want to be still and feel like they’re floating, like sensory deprivation types, I can make do with a sex swing and the power of suggestion.”
> 
> “Is it comfortable?” Jade asked.
> 
> “You want to try it?” Tori asked again.
> 
> “I don’t know,” Jade replied hesitantly.
> 
> “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
> 
> “Is that what you say to everyone who comes in here?” Jade teased.
> 
> “No, but I do try to guarantee a fun time. So, come on,” Tori encouraged.
> 
> She helped Jade onto the sex swing, which meant she ended up kind of reclined and held up by a bunch of straps with her legs spread wide open. “Okay, seriously, people want this?” she asked.
> 
> “Sure,” Tori said easily, then gripped Jade by her shins. There was a moment of weird apprehension as Jade tried to figure out what was about to happen, and then Tori gave her a push.
> 
> “What the hell?” Jade asked, already laughing as she swung backwards, and then Tori gave her another push as she moved forward, “This can’t be what this is for.”
> 
> “No, but it looks fun,” Tori commented.


	9. Six: So one last time, I need to be the one who takes you home, One more time I promise, after that, I'll let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Wikster and Doriath, thanks for doing what you do.

Jade had woken up at one point in the night with her PearPhone still in hand, so she'd placed it on the charger before falling back to sleep. In the morning, when she'd unlocked the home screen, it was evident she'd been in the middle of a text.  
  


**You're seriously a genius**

**I can't get over it**

**also fuck that guy who said you're not sexy**

**what an asshole**

**I hate him**

**UGH**

_  
Mmmkay_. Probably good that she'd drifted off before sending that. She erased the message and checked to make sure she hadn't stoner texted anything else to anyone, which she hadn't.

After morning coffee, which Jade was almost late enough for that Tori claimed she was about to come into the guest house to make sure she was awake, the two of them got into Tori’s mustachioed Subaru and drove over to the Moustache Media location. Jade climbed out and waited by the door while Tori took her sweet time exiting the car and striding over, finally unlocking the door.

Jade stepped into the first room, with Tori moving behind her to lock back up. It was a basic receptionist space, with a couple of chairs, a plant, and a window to a small room. Jade tried to peer through the window, but the room was dark.

“Kwakoo will be in later,” Tori told her, “But normally he’d be there.”

Jade shook her head. She’d wondered if the part where Kwakoo worked for Tori had been a mini dream when she’d evidently fallen asleep on the blanket on the lawn. “Still weird that he works for you,” Jade said. Tori didn’t reply, so Jade observed, “Not much of a waiting room, is it?”

“We don’t really keep anyone waiting around here, unless they’re really early,” Tori replied, unlocking the only other door in the space. “The only people who come in either have appointments or are making a delivery or something.”

“Makes sense,” Jade replied, following Tori through the door. There was another door along the same wall, perpendicular to a long hallway. Jade gazed curiously to the closest door.

“That goes to my office, and to Kwakoo’s workspace,” Tori explained, “Not really much to see in there.”

“Somehow, I doubt that a dominatrix’s office is boring, but if you say so,” Jade replied, gazing down the long hallway. There wasn’t much to see except doors and some framed pictures of Tori, or really, mostly The Mistress.

“So, what would you like to see first?” Tori asked, lip quirked, “The Fungeon, or the web studio workspaces?”

This was actually kind of a difficult decision, and Jade thought about it for a long moment before deciding, “The Fungeon,” because she’d already _kind of_ seen the spaces where Tori filmed. She figured if she was less curious about what might be waiting for her in the space where Mistress Tawny did her work, she could focus more on the tech end of Tori’s filming workspace.

“All right,” Tori grinned, “Into the Fungeon we go!” She led Jade down the hall and into a large industrial-style room.

The first thing Jade noticed was the lighting, which was dim but not dark, a comfortable sort of sensuality in the ambiance. The space itself had dark faux wood floors, white walls, and a few pillars that were painted black and pink. In front of Jade was some sort of leather furniture. Her eyes kept skimming over it, trying to figure out exactly how a person used it.

Tori gestured broadly with one hand to one side of the room, “This is where we play,” and to the other side of the room, “This is where we recover.” Jade glanced over to the other side of the room. She hadn’t paid much attention to it. It was slightly better lit, and it had a few comfortable pieces of furniture and a kitchenette. Jade observed it, but then her eyes were drawn back to the piece of...sex furniture or whatever. Tori seemed to notice, and walked over, patting it. “Want to try it?”

“What...even is it?” But Jade was approaching it curiously.

“Bondage and spanking bench,” Tori replied, watching her, “Don’t worry, it’s clean.”

Jade laughed, because she wasn’t thinking much about that. “Uh huh. I...can’t even really figure out _how_ \--”

“Well, to start, your legs go here,” Tori pointed, “Climb up if you want,” she encouraged.

Well, sure, Jade _was_ curious. She knelt onto the lower two parts Tori indicated, and realized pretty quickly that she could sprawl forward, balance her arms on two more padded attachments, rest her face in a part that looked like a massage table, and she’d be--lying there with her ass on display. “Okay, I get it,” she said as she got down.

Tori smirked at her, then pointed at some of the other equipment. “That’s the St. Andrew’s Cross--I tie people to it,” Tori explained at what must have been Jade’s puzzled expression. “There’s the sex swing,” she started.

“Okay,” Jade thought she remembered this being mentioned last night, “Why do you have a sex swing if no one is having sex?”

“Well, it’s kind of a way to cheat at a certain form of suspension bondage. I’ve gotten pretty good at the kinds of knots that bind limbs.” Yeah, Jade could recall how quickly and easily Tori had comfortably looped and secured that rope around her wrists at the Fet Ball. “But I still have a long way to go when it comes to full-body bondage. I need a lot of practice, and someone to practice on. For now, people who just kind of want to be still and feel like they’re floating, like sensory deprivation types, I can make do with a sex swing, a blindfold, and the power of suggestion.”

“Is it comfortable?” Jade asked.

“You want to try it?” Tori asked again.

“I don’t know,” Jade replied hesitantly.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Is that what you say to everyone who comes in here?” Jade teased.

“No, but I do try to guarantee a fun time. So, come on,” Tori encouraged.

She helped Jade onto the sex swing, which left her kind of reclined and held up by a bunch of straps with her legs spread wide open. “Okay, seriously, people want this?” she asked.

“Sure,” Tori said easily, then gripped Jade by her shins. There was a moment of weird apprehension as Jade tried to figure out what was about to happen, and then Tori gave her a push.

“What the hell?” Jade asked, already laughing as she swung backwards, and then Tori gave her another push as she moved forward, “This can’t be what this is for.”

“No, but it looks _fun_ ,” Tori commented.

“Okay, let me out,” Jade said, still laughing. “You’re so fucking weird,” she said as Tori stopped the swinging.

“Is that any way to talk to the person who can get you out of that thing?” Tori challenged.

“Okay, I know we’re in _your_ Fungeon or whatever, but you don’t have to go all Mistress on me,” Jade narrowed her eyes.

“I won’t. The Mistress still doesn’t want to speak with you.”

Jade rolled her eyes, “Like I said. Fucking weird.” But Tori helped her out of the sex swing and Jade observed the cages in the opposite corner of the play space. “So you sometimes make people crawl in cages?” Jade asked, because she could wrap her mind around a standing cage, but the low cage looked uncomfortable.

“I do,” Tori replied cryptically. Jade raised an eyebrow, and Tori elaborated, “It’s mostly for pet play.”

“Okay, what exactly is that? I’ve heard of it, but…” Jade trailed off.

“Basically roleplaying as a pet and their owner. It’s such a real escape for some people, to just be an animal for a little while and be cared for. I think it tends to freak people out because they often immediately leap to bestiality, but it’s honestly quite cute and harmless most of the time.”

“So...what you’re telling me is that you put people pretending to be dogs into that cage?” Jade asked.

Tori eyed her warily, “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

Sure, it was weird, but Jade had heard weirder. “Okay,” she said simply. Tori kept watching her for a long moment, and Jade said, “Seriously, I’m not judging you, I’m just...surprised, at how much you know and how many things you’ve done, I guess.”

Tori’s face relaxed. “I’m still learning a lot, too.”

“What’s back there?” Jade pointed to a door at the rear of the space.

“Bathroom and dressing room for the bottoms,” Tori replied, “I have my own bathroom attached to my office, and most of my wardrobe stuff is either in there or out here,” she gestured to a glass-fronted wooden wardrobe cabinet.

Jade nodded, taking in the space in full now, really looking around. Wondering how many people had been in here, how many people had experienced pleasure at Tori’s hands. It was actually a little hard to imagine, with Tori standing in front of her in her glasses, wearing a casual smile and looking so fucking _normal_. Like, Tori Vega normal.

“Want to see the other side?” Tori asked.

“Yeah, definitely,” Jade replied. She was feeling more awake now, ready to engage with whatever was behind the scenes of Tori’s media empire.

Tori led them across the hall to another large room. The first thing Jade saw was all the very familiar gym equipment she had watched Tori use in the video from the previous night. She skimmed the pieces, remembering Tori on them. It was weird how standard and normal they looked when they were real and in front of Jade, instead of with the vaguely unnatural quality that the VR headset gave them.

But she was also noticing that this was _one big room_. “How is it...all the same room?” Jade wondered aloud, starting to take in other details--the prison cell on the wall of the rear of the room, the couch that Mary Jane sat on way on the other side at the opposite end of the space.

“There are partitions I use to close off the space I’m working with,” Tori explained, showing Jade the part of the wall where a partition was stored.

“Got it,” Jade replied thoughtfully, looking around. “So here,” she gestured around the gym space, “You use a 360 setup.”

Tori nodded, “Yep. Right around there,” she pointed to a taped mark on the floor.

“Of course,” Jade said. She gazed over toward Mary Jane’s couch, and began walking toward it. As she moved closer, she could see past the gym equipment enough to notice that there seemed to be more going on in the Mary Jane space than she’d anticipated. There was the comfy, squishy couch, with the coffee table covered in weed paraphernalia, but on the opposite wall was a desk and a very familiar white board. “Ah,” Jade realized, “So with Mary Jane, you use a 180 angle for this half of the room, and the other half of this space is where you film The Pleasure Professor.” Jade hadn’t even tried to look behind her when she’d been watching Mary Jane videos, but then, it wasn’t as though she had a reason to, when the space felt intimate and Tori held her attention.

“Precisely,” Tori grinned. “And of course, The Pleasure Professor just uses a standard camera, so there aren’t a lot of tricks there. Just scenery and props.”

“Yeah, _props_ ,” Jade teased.

Tori just rolled her eyes playfully, “I use both setups for Officer Pedesko,” she said.

“Really?” Jade asked. She’d been so engrossed in that persona that she hadn’t really taken in what the range of the camera was in those scenes.

“Yeah, come see,” Tori beckoned her over to the other end of the room.

Jade followed a little reluctantly. For some reason, losing the magic of the Officer Pedesko immersive experience was something she was hesitant to do. But as she got closer, she immediately saw something she hadn’t noticed. “Wait, this was here?” she gestured at the front half of a police car, a realistic one.

“Yep. Why, which video did you watch?” Tori asked.

“I don’t know, some recent ones, you had some girl against the wall over there, but I never looked behind me.” And Officer Pedesko had held her attention so completely in the other video that she hadn’t really noticed what was in the background. She regarded the half of the police car curiously. “So, what, do you have them like…” She leaned over the hood, stretching her arms out and arching her back, putting on a simpering voice, “get pats downs over here?” She tossed her hair, trying to mimic the porny energy that redhead had brought to the scene she’d watched.

To her shock, Tori was abruptly behind her, leaning over her, hands on the car on either side of Jade’s shoulders. She wasn’t touching her _at all_ , but Jade could feel the heat of her, the closeness. “Pretty much,” Tori purred softly, “Though as you saw, the car isn’t the only place that happens.”

And just as suddenly as she’d crept up on Jade, she was gone. Jade...took a moment, breathing and letting the thrill in her stomach subside. She stood up, forcing herself to refocus on the space she was being shown. Tori was nearby, leaning against the police officer’s desk that Jade had vaguely noticed but paid no attention to in the video she’d watched the night before. Jade forced her voice to sound steady. “So, okay. You do the Officer stuff with other actors sometimes and also solo, yeah?”

Tori nodded, “Right. Usually other adult entertainers.” Jade abruptly realized why the redheaded actress was familiar. Not that she watched a lot of porn, but she was a kind of well known nerdy queer porn star whose (usually, but not always, nonexplicit) content Sam was always sharing on SplashFace. It must’ve shown on her face, because Tori smirked, but she didn’t comment directly on it, “So it’s voyeuristic with the other actors, and since we don’t go anywhere specifically pornographic, if they’re the type that post their own content, sometimes they make their own ‘follow-up video’ inspired by their scenes with me. Helps people find their work on my site.”

“Reciprocal advertising,” Jade commented, still stuck on the thing of _holy shit, Tori sometimes dominated porn stars for a living_. “And then the other style of videos is immersive.”

“Yep,” Tori nodded, “Just a 180 camera in that jail cell over there.”

Jade eyed it, “Somehow it doesn’t look so intimidating from here.”

“Want to get in it?”

“Uhh.” That was actually a good question. Tori had already flustered her once in this space. But maybe she could get the obsession with Officer Pedesko out of her head if she just got in and it wasn’t a big deal. “Okay, but explain to me what the appeal of a cage is to someone, anyway? Because you have that other cage in your Fungeon, too.”

“Confinement translates to powerlessness for a lot of people. Sometimes being confined helps people get in the right headspace to bottom.” Tori explained, still watching Jade. “Or the confinement _is_ the point for certain psychological domination scenarios. Like if you’re roleplaying interrogations, kidnappings, ownership, stuff like that.”

Jade grunted acknowledgement, “Okay, sure. Put me in the cage.” She didn’t really think it was going to do much for her, because the intensity of the VR experience had been what was so fascinating, and Tori was just _Tori_ right now, not the authoritative cop figure that was going to threaten her.

Tori opened the cell for her and Jade stepped inside. She placed herself in the center of the cell, wrapping her hands around the bars automatically, as Tori closed the door. She stood next to the small cell, watching Jade, as if waiting for a reaction. Just being locked in wasn’t really doing anything for Jade except making her a little anxious. Tori stepped away from the cell door and started pacing slowly in front of Jade, regarding her stoically, and it wasn’t _really_ Pedesko-like, but the walk was measured in a way that evoked some sort of potent energy that made Jade pay attention. The anxiety in her chest seemed to flow to her limbs in a kind of thrill, but Jade wasn’t sure that she liked it much. She thought she preferred this when she could just take off her headset. Or masturbate. Or...whatever, she was done.

“Okay, let me out,” Jade said quietly.

“Sure,” Tori said easily, walking over to open the door.

Jade stepped out, relieved. She was already thinking about whether she might have an opportunity to explore with some of this tech, the see if there were ways to improve the quality of the picture of the cameras, but she didn’t want to imply to Tori that her work was anything but stellar, because she was extremely impressed with what Tori had put together. Her simple but effective workspaces, her skilled use of the camera, the different ways she utilized them to produce different effects and experiences. She nodded toward the door at the rear of the room. “What is that?”

“Tech room,” Tori said simply.

“This is _really cool_ ,” Jade said finally, finding her voice. “I know it was partly the weed talking last night, but I really think you’re a genius to have come up with all of this.”

Tori shrugged, but she was smiling, “It’s not like I came up with the concept itself, or even set this up all by myself, but thank you.”

“But you put in all the effort to make it _work_ ,” Jade insisted, “I’m serious. This is cool, your use of the technology is incredible. I’m sincerely impressed.”

“Thank you,” Tori said again, looking a little pink. “We’d better head home so we can both get ready for work, though,” she said.

“Yeah,” Jade agreed reluctantly, as they stepped out of the VR side of Moustache Media and into the hallway. “Thanks for taking me on a tour.”

“Thanks for being so cool about all of this,” Tori replied.

“Okay, who has ever been _uncool_ about this?” Jade wanted to know, “Because they’re an idiot if they can’t see how creative and talented you are.”

But before Tori could answer, they were through the door to the waiting room, where it turned out Kwakoo was sitting behind the receptionist’s window. “Oh, hello, Kwakoo,” Tori greeted him.

“Ma’am,” he replied, eyeing Jade, “I wasn’t aware you had a client this morning.”

Tori laughed, “Oh, no, this is my friend Jade.”

He gave her a firm look, “So your name is not, in fact, Nancy Swain?” he asked pointedly.

“Uh,” Jade said, “It’s not that it’s ever _not_ been my name.” She shrugged as Tori responded with an amused roll of the eyes.

“Everything’s good, Kwakoo,” Tori told him, “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

They left the building and got back into Tori’s Subaru. “Well, you weren’t kidding about Kwakoo,” Jade commented as she buckled up.

Tori flashed her a smile, “I wasn’t kidding about any of it.”

-

That Sunday, they weren’t eating at home, but they were spending the day together. Tori had a Sunday afternoon workshop at Elderly Acres that had been scheduled a while ago, and she’d invited Jade to come along with her so that they could visit with Grandma Jean afterwards. Jade had readily agreed, since she’d had to miss one of the Horror Club meetings to take some work that month.

After lunch on Sunday, Tori made sure she had everything she needed for her workshop loaded into her Subaru, as well as a case of Bud Light Lime for Grandma Jean. Jade came through the gate with a plastic bin of her own, and Tori shot her a puzzled look.

“The movie memorabilia,” Jade explained, “Figured I’d just let Grandma Jean reminisce, this visit.”

“Perfect,” Tori said, “I’d like to see her look through it, too.” She opened the trunk and let Jade load it into the back and the two of them set off for Elderly Acres.

Traffic was typical for Sunday afternoon--awful, but not nightmarishly so--and at least Tori was well prepared for it. She and Jade arrived with plenty of time to see Grandma Jean before Tori really had to start setting up for her workshop.

“What are you going to do while I’m doing my thing?” Tori asked as she pulled into the parking lot.

“I figured I’d watch,” Jade replied easily.

“Oh,” Tori replied, a little surprised. “I didn’t think _Sex After 65_ was something you were very interested in.”

Jade stared at her for a moment, “Okay, I know that Grandma Jean has a lot of ‘gentleman friends’ but are they really--you know what, don’t answer that.”

Tori laughed as she pulled into a space, “Oh, elderlies having sex is _very_ much a thing. I’m glad you’re attending my workshop, because you’re going to learn some things.”

“Maybe I can convince Grandma Jean to skip it,” Jade mumbled. Tori shot her a glare. “Or not,” Jade amended.

“I know she loves you, but Grandma’s been harassing people to attend my workshop for like a month. I think she’s pretty invested in supporting me,” Tori opened her door to get out.

“Fair enough,” Jade said, circling around to the back of the Subaru. “Should I take the movie memorabilia in now, or wait?” she wondered.

“Let’s take it in now, I’m going to come back for my stuff in a little bit.” She opened the trunk and grabbed one side of the bin--unnecessarily, because it wasn’t heavy, but it seemed easier than Jade smashing it against her boobs to carry it alone. She saw Jade shoot her a slightly confused look, but she just grinned at her in return and clicked the trunk closed, the two of them heading into the retirement community together.

Grandma Jean was expecting them, so she was sitting with a couple of other elderlies in the front room as Tori came through the automatic door with Jade. She stood up with the help of her cane. “Tori, honey, I didn’t know you were bringing Jade.”

“Surprise,” Jade said sarcastically. “Sorry, I thought she told you.”

“Guess it slipped my mind,” Tori admitted, as they set down the bin to accept hugs from Grandma Jean. “Sunday is usually our day to have dinner together, but we figured we could both spend it with you.”

“Well, after your workshop, I think we’ll all have worked up an appetite,” Grandma Jean winked. “Now, what’s this box you’re both hauling in here like some kind of holy relic?”

“Well, you’re not far off,” Jade chuckled, “It’s your movie memorabilia. We found it in storage at the house, and I thought we might show some of the other Horror Club members who might be interested.”

“Oh, we can do that, sure. They should all be coming to the workshop, so I can round them up,” Grandma Jean replied easily.

“I also didn’t know if you wanted to go through it at all,” Tori said, “Since I don’t know when you last looked at what was in here.”

Grandma Jean snorted, “I know exactly what’s in there,” she said, “And I packed it up for a reason.” She turned her attention to Jade now, “I really thought Tori would know that I’d left that there for you.”

Jade shot a baffled look at Tori, “She...didn’t mention that.”

“I didn’t know!” Tori defended, “Jade and I weren’t talking when you moved out, Grandma, how would I have--”

Grandma Jean waved her hand, “I mean, it’s in the will anyway, but since Jade is here...it’s yours, kid. No use waiting for me to croak for you to enjoy it. That box was meant for you for a long time.”

“I…” Jade lost her voice for a moment, clearly touched. Tori placed an encouraging hand on her shoulder. “Damn. Thank you,” she said, then fell silent again.

“You’re welcome. I know you’ll do more with it than keep it in a box for years and years.” Tori opened her mouth to defend herself before she realized that Grandma Jean was talking about herself. “Well, now that it’s officially yours...do you really want a bunch of old folks pawing at your belongings?” She switched to a stage whisper, “Some of them drool, you know.”

Jade tilted her head to the side. “You know what? That’s a good point.”

“Take it back out to the car and hide it,” Grandma Jean advised.

“Maybe I’ll take out a couple of things that we can show off,” Jade offered.

“Come sit, let’s figure it out,” Grandma Jean replied.

“I’m going to go set up for my workshop,” Tori told them.

“Do you need help carrying stuff?” Jade asked.

Tori waved her off, “No, no, I’ve got it.” She had initially figured she would have Jade’s help with this, but she didn’t want to take away from the time she would get to hang out with Grandma Jean. Even knowing that Jade kept in touch with her and visited her since coming back to LA, Tori hadn’t seen them together in a long time. It was nice, but also a little weird.

So while Jade and Grandma Jean showed off a few choice lobby cards to some of the members of the Elderly Acres Horror Club, Tori hauled in her couple of bins of props to the rec room, slipped into the bathroom to put on her Pleasure Professor lab coat, and mentally prepared to teach a workshop to an audience that would include both her grandmother and Jade.

She was confident about her work, but knowing it was being seen by people in her actual life was always...a lot. At least in this case, anything she talked about would be less related to her own sex life, and potentially more related to...her grandmother’s.

Okay, even knowing full well that old people had a lot of sex, and teasing Jade about it, that was still something she wasn’t keen to think about.

Slowly, elderlies started shuffling into the space, taking seats and already looking at Tori eagerly. Jade came in soon after, walking in pace with Grandma Jean and her cane, and the two of them snagged front row seats, Grandma Jean insisting, “That’s my granddaughter, I have a right,” as she passed the other attendees.

Tori started a couple of minutes late, just because some folks were still making their way in and finding seats. She noticed Cat’s Nona in the audience as well, which, great, someone else who knew her, even if they didn’t know each other all that well. She glanced at Grandma Jean, who nodded encouragingly, and to one of the nurses who was sitting in on the workshop, who gave her a thumbs up.

Tori turned on the microphone she’d be given, to ensure old ears could hear her. “Hello, and thank you for having me. I’m The Pleasure Professor. Can everyone hear me?”

There was a general murmur of assent throughout the room, people looking at each other to make sure everyone was clued in. Tori smiled. “Today we’re going to talk about _Sex After 65_ ,” she announced. “Now, as I’m sure everyone present knows, our society tends to think of older people as automatically sexless, when that is not the case.”

Some murmurs and giggles, and one lady piping up with, “You got that right.”

Tori grinned at the fact that she already had their attention. Yeah, people who thought elderlies were automatically prudes were wrong. “And there is data to show that sex actually gets _better_ in old age,” Tori continued, “One study of adults over age sixty showed the majority reporting that their sex life was the same or better than it had been in their forties. In fact, for most sexually active adults, frequency of sex doesn’t tend to decrease until after age seventy-four. So sex after sixty-five can include many years of highly satisfying sex.”

“And after seventy-four!” Grandma Jean said loudly. Next to her, she saw Jade trying not to laugh.

Tori forced herself not to react, though her ears were hot. There was nothing to do but press on. “Often, sex becomes more satisfying for older adults because the focus changes. Natural changes to the body that come with age--erections that are less reliable and less firm, and vaginas that lubricate less and have more delicate tissue--mean that different aspects of sexuality are emphasized, and the lack of focus on intercourse can make sex more satisfying for both partners. But of course, intercourse still happens.” A rumble of assent through the room, people exchanging glances and elbowing each other. In many ways, this was no different than a workshop with a group of high schoolers.

She continued her presentation. “Now, there are ways to make intercourse easier for older bodies, which we will get into, but first, we need to cover a very important issue: sexual safety. Did you know that less than one quarter of sexually active older adults reported using condoms during their last sexual encounter with someone they were not in an ongoing exclusive relationship with? With their last hookup, if you will?” As she expected, there were a couple of scoffing sounds and murmurs of uncertainty. “Why do you think that is?” she asked.

“Well,” Cat’s Nona piped up, “When I was dating Burt Reynolds, he always said he was too big for condoms.”

“That’s…” Tori had to actually take a moment to collect herself. “It might be more challenging for some to find a good fit than others, but that’s never a good excuse. I’d encourage you not to accept excuses like it. Why else might older folks avoid condoms?”

“We’re all past baby-making age,” one older gentleman replied.

“Well, all of the women likely are,” Tori corrected, “Some of you men might not be, but that’s beside the point. Did you know that there is an alarmingly high rate of sexually transmitted infections among the elderly population?” Another round of murmurs, this time more agitated. “This is why protection is critical for people your age. Not as birth control, as it is so often reduced to, but to protect yourself and your partners from infections.” She held up a large bowl of condoms. “I have condoms available for anyone who wants some at the end of my workshop. Now, does everybody know how to put on a condom? Why don’t I get a volunteer to help me?” Her eyes locked with Jade’s. “How about you?”

“Me?” Jade asked in surprise.

“Sure. Everyone, this is my friend, Jade. She’s going to help demonstrate the proper way to apply a condom to this dildo.” And here, Tori pulled out a large purple dildo--large for the purpose of everyone being able to see what was happening, not for any other reason (it definitely wasn't one she had ever tried out).

Jade approached her warily, “I am, _am I_?”

“Do you know how to put on a condom?” Tori asked her.

Jade rolled her eyes, “Of course I do, do _you_?”

Tori ignored that. “Then here,” Tori handed her the dildo.

Jade eyed her for a moment with a slightly challenging expression, but she sighed and pulled a condom out from the large bowl and unwrapped it. Tori watched as she held the tip and then rolled it down quickly.

“Wait,” Tori said, “Why don’t we do that again? Tell them what you’re doing, and do it more slowly.”

“Okay, well,” Jade was speaking much slower, too, “I’m _grabbing the tip_ ,” she enunciated, holding the dildo up and showing the action.

“To leave room for the condom to catch any seminal fluid without breaking,” Tori cut in to explain.

“And I’m _rolling it down_ ,” Jade said, slowly unrolling the condom down the length. _So slowly_. She looked at Tori, “Is that slow enough for you?”

“Yes, you can stop now,” Tori told her.

“But it hasn’t even covered half the shaft. Aren’t there STIs that can be transmitted by skin to skin contact?” Jade’s eyes were teasing now.

“Yes, there are, in fact. Condoms aren’t necessarily the best defense for those, but they’re better than nothing. But condoms, worn correctly, are a great defense for gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and HIV. Correct use involves pinching the tip, and holding the base as you pull out, as well as occasionally checking to make sure it’s still intact during intercourse.” She scanned the crowd, “And this is additionally important because HIV is spreading among older populations,” she said casually.

It had the intended effect, as the room murmured. Jade was continuing to gradually roll the condom down the shaft.

“Thank you, Jade,” Tori prompted.

“Still working over here,” Jade replied.

The crowd changed from aghast to amused immediately as Tori was forced to watch Jade finally finish rolling the condom onto the dildo. She passed it back to Tori with a cheeky grin. “A round of applause for Jade, please,” Tori said.

Jade headed back to her seat, looking smug. She heard Grandma Jean congratulate her on their “hilarious skit,” but omg, that’s not what that was supposed to have been at all. At least, Tori supposed, it might be memorable to the elderlies.

“I just want to make you all aware that your lovely nursing staff here at Elderly Acres has the capability to provide all of you with STI screenings.” Here she gestured to the nurse sitting in on the workshop, who waved at the crowd happily. “They, and I, would like to strongly encourage you to get tested so that hopefully we can avoid STI outbreaks here in your home. We know that you are sexually active, and we encourage that, and only want you to take care of yourselves. And now, we’re going to talk about a few ways to improve your sex lives.”

Tori continued her presentation, showing and discussing different sexual devices (such as lube, sex ramps, vibrators, penis extenders, and cock rings) that could compensate for physical difficulties that came with age, as well as utilizing fantasy, and expanding one’s definition of sex. Then, at the end of her presentation, she had Jade come up front to help her hand out large-print pamphlets and condoms to elderlies who wanted them.

Tori tried to tell everyone the same thing: “Thank you for taking your sexual health seriously,” when they took anything.

At least until Grandma Jean came up and grabbed a big handful of condoms, “Thanks, honey,” she told Tori, “Your workshop was great.”

Tori froze, staring at all the condoms her grandmother was shoving into her purse.

“Thank _you_ for taking your sexual health seriously,” Jade recited at Grandma Jean in her best impersonation of Tori.

Grandma Jean winked at them both and wandered away to talk to the nurse who was still there, presumably taking appointments for STI tests.

Jade knocked her boot against Tori’s sensible flat and Tori came back to her Pleasure Professor persona, smiling at the next elderly in front of her table, “Would you like any literature? Thank you for taking your sexual health seriously.”

When it was all over, Tori took off her lab coat and repacked up her supplies, and Jade helped her carry it all to the car. “Well, maybe it was _you_ who learned something today,” Jade joked.

Tori shook her head, “Okay, I don’t really want to think about my grandma’s sex life.” She opened the trunk of her car to load in her plastic bin.

“Can I make a suggestion, though?” Jade asked.

“Sure,” Tori shrugged. She always tried to be open to constructive feedback.

“Your condom demonstration. I mean, it’s been _a while_ since I’ve had to put a condom on anything, but it still struck me that...the thing that’s really wrong with it is the way the dildo gets held up and moved around. Like, it’s probably not going to be _right here_ ,” Jade held her hands out in front of her stomach to demonstrate, the same level as the table in the workshop, “Unless you’re sitting backwards on his chest or squatting awkwardly by him, I guess. But you have to take the condom _to_ the penis.”

Tori felt her face go slack with awe as she stood next to the open trunk. “Oh my god. You’re right.”

Jade burst out laughing, “Holy shit, you are _so gay_.”

“Is that really a surprise,” Tori laughed.

“I mean, so am I, especially lately, but…” Jade cackled, and Tori filed that confession away as something to think about later, “At least I’ve realized living penises aren’t detachable. So you’re probably going to be putting it on either like this,” she mimed the motion at about waist height, “Or maybe like this,” she did the same thing right in front of her own face.

Tori flinched back automatically, imagining Jade’s demonstration, “Oh, god.”

“What?” Jade teased, “You’re a _sex educator_ , this shouldn’t faze you.”

“I’ve just...never...it’s not something I...you know what? Fine, then,” Tori reached into the bin and pulled out the purple dildo. “In my _next_ demonstration, I’ll hold it here,” she pressed it against her pelvis, “And you can put the condom on it.”

“ _Next_ time?” Jade said incredulously, “I’m not going to go to work with you just to demonstrate condoms. It will just make it look like you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I usually do it,” Tori defended, “I just wanted to see if you knew.”

“How dare you doubt me.” Jade opened a different bin and pulled out a stray condom; the rest were left in the health center at Elderly Acres. “You really want me to show you how it’s done?”

Tori removed her dildo from her hips. “No, it’s not necessary.”

“No, come on,” Jade moved it back and unwrapped the condom. Tori was abruptly glad that at least the dildo was bright purple so passing police officers would be less likely to come speeding into the parking lot to change them with public indecency as she stood holding the dildo and letting Jade expertly roll a condom onto it. Her ears were definitely hot. “There,” Jade said proudly.

“Hey, I never doubted you could do it,” Tori said, voice a little weak. “And noted. Next time I’ll be sure to approximate how it might look to put it on an actual person.” She tossed the condom covered dildo into the bin and closed the trunk. “Let’s go have dinner with Grandma Jean.”

And dinner was great, because Grandma Jean and Jade both made great company, even when they teased Tori about turning red every time her grandmother talked about sex. But they also talked about movies, planned the next screening for the Elderly Acres Horror Club (which Tori was happy to realize she thought she might be able to attend), and, overall, had a great Sunday dinner at Grandma Jean’s apartment, drinking Bud Light Limes (well, Tori limited herself to half of one of Jade’s) and eating Italian takeout and laughing.

It had been a long time since she’d seen Jade and Grandma Jean together. But it was clear that they’d never stopped seeing each other as family, and something about that made Tori feel warm.

Tori wondered whether she and Jade would get there, if their friendship continued to go well. Even if trying to think of Jade that way _really_ didn’t work for Tori right now.

She thought she’d better stick with friendship, for now.

Later that week, during the evening, Tori had Cat come over to work on some costumes. She and Sam arrived together, and Tori couldn’t miss the sound of the motorcycle parking itself in her driveway. She opened the door to let the two women inside before they’d even knocked.

“Hi, Tori!” Cat called in greeting, grabbing her in a hug.

“Hey,” Sam greeted, the epitome of casual, eyes scanning over Tori’s form in her tank top and yoga pants before slipping past her in the doorway to make a beeline for her refrigerator.

“There still isn’t any meat in there,” Tori informed her, letting Cat inside and closing the door. Sam groaned, but opened the door anyway. “Actually, wait,” Tori amended, “There’s leftover chicken pasta from Sunday if you want to risk it.”

“It’s only Tuesday,” Sam scoffed, “It’s fine.” She pulled out the plastic takeout box and popped it in the microwave, already fishing a fork out of Tori’s utensil drawer in anticipation.

“Okay, so,” Cat was carrying a large tote bag at her side, “I have your latest Officer Pedesko uniform and your new pink tuxedo that we just have to have you try on so I can see what I need to alter, and I want to take some measurements so I can start on your new bustier.”

“Can you maybe take some measurements for another lab coat?” Tori asked, “It’s starting to get a little tight in the shoulders.” The kind of workout regime she was currently doing for the Captain Catherine Obvious channel meant that, over time, her body changed in some ways she wasn’t expecting, and made some of her clothes fit differently.

“Sure!” Cat agreed, “Want to do measurements first, since you’re already dressed for it?”

“Sounds good,” Tori replied. Cat placed her bag on the dining room table and rummaged through it, pulling out a tape measure.

Tori stood quietly for a few moments as Cat began to take measurements of her body, recording them on an app in her PearPhone. She heard the microwave beep and Sam pull out the pasta, and watched as Sam came up behind Cat, who was busy on her PearPhone, apparently so focused that she didn’t even know Sam was behind her until Sam snapped her teeth right next to her ear with a little growl.

“Oh!” Cat put a hand to her chest, but her expression quickly shifted from surprise and stretched into a smile, “You scared me,” she purred at Sam, who was smiling back at her, looking _very_ smug.

“Wanna try this pasta?” Sam offered.

“No, thank you,” Cat replied, pressing her lips to Sam’s for just long enough that it made Tori want to look away. She remembered what Jade had told her about Sam and Cat’s relationship and had a distinct feeling that she was witnessing some kind of primal foreplay between the two of them. It was interesting, to be sure, but also, Tori didn’t think she was supposed to know about this, and the two of them likely thought they were being stealthy. She probably shouldn’t observe this.

Moments later, though, Cat was back in front of her with the tape measure, and Sam was at Tori’s dining room table, leaning back so her chair was only on two legs and eating leftover pasta straight from the container. “Where’s Jade?” she asked.

“Oh,” Tori replied, “I think she’s out on a scissHER date tonight.” She didn’t know why she’d phrased it that way; she knew exactly where Jade was. She had left about twenty minutes ago for her date, and Tori had poked her head out of the back door to wish her luck.

Sam nodded, “That’s right, she mentioned that.”

“Jade is dating?” Cat asked curiously.

“Yeah,” Tori replied, “I mean, I don’t know how much dating she’s done yet, but I helped her set up her profile.”

“Ooh,” Cat said. It sounded exaggerated in that way she had where she was interpreting the meaning behind what you were telling her, but there was no secret meaning here.

Tori was about to tell her that when Sam cut in, “Did she show you who she was going out with or anything?”

“No,” Tori replied, “Did she show you?”

“Nah,” Sam said, “I wonder if she’s hot.”

“I wonder how it’s going,” Tori admitted.

“Why don’t you text her?” Cat asked.

“Well, because I’m doing _this_ ,” Tori shook the arms she was holding up for emphasis.

“Hold still,” Cat admonished, grabbing Tori by the ribs to steady her.

“I’ll text her,” Sam offered. “I’m curious, too.”

“Okay,” Tori agreed. That seemed fine. Jade and Sam talked about this stuff, anyway, and though she and Jade were friends, maybe it would be weirder if she asked.

They were all quiet for a moment as Sam tapped away at her PearPhone and Cat recorded Tori’s measurements. Then Sam reported, “Okay, so Jade says she’s having a good time. Turns out this girl really likes _The Scissoring_ , so they’re gushing about that together.”

“Oh, that’s great,” Tori said, though she didn’t sound quite as enthusiastic as she thought she felt.

“Yeah, good for Jade!” Cat agreed.

“I’m telling her she better get some,” Sam spoke, already typing.

“She probably won’t,” Tori replied, “One night stands aren’t really her style.”

Sam snorted, “Sure, if you say so.”

But Sam wasn’t looking at Tori, so Tori turned her attention to Cat, who raised her eyebrows noncommittally and had Tori turn her body to get another measurement. Sam got up a moment later to throw away the plastic leftovers container and to stick her head back in Tori’s fridge.

And just when it seemed Cat was finished taking measurements, Sam laughed abruptly, “Oh, yeah. Okay, Jade’s going back to the chick’s apartment to ‘watch a movie’.”

Tori frowned, “Did she actually put quotes around that?” Because if she knew one thing about Jade, it was that she liked to _actually_ watch movies, not make out through them.

“Nah, but we all know what _that_ means,” Sam snickered.

Tori didn’t even argue with her, but she felt frustrated at the notion. But then, maybe Sam knew better than she did at this point. A lot could change in almost ten years.

“Okay,” Cat said, striding back over to the dining room table to dig in her tote bag, “Go put on this uniform, including the shoes you wear with it.”

Luckily, Tori had been prepared for this and had brought the right boots home from Moustache Media in order to properly wear the uniform. She went back into her bedroom to change. The uniform felt like a good fit, but she and Cat were both perfectionists about this sort of thing, and Tori was certain there’d be some adjustments made to the garment. Like, the pants would need to be hemmed. That was common for Tori, anyway.

She walked back out and stood on a step stool in the walkway space between her living room and dining room, giving Cat plenty of room to move around her and stick pins in the garment. They were quiet for a few minutes, Tori trying to be still so Cat could work, Sam munching on tortilla chips and doing something on her phone. But then, Sam shook her head, “Yikes.”

“What?” Tori asked.

“Guess Jade is coming back already. That was either a _real_ fast trip down to bone town, or something went wrong.”

“What did she say?” Tori wondered.

“Just that she was heading back,” Sam replied, glancing at Tori and offering a shrug.

“Okay,” Cat said, “Let me get this uniform off of you carefully, and then you can change into the tuxedo.”

Sam averted her eyes politely, not that Tori was really all that concerned about it. She was a theater kid, being in her underwear in front of people was hardly anything to get embarrassed about. Besides, she knew Sam would probably take a discreet look or two at her, and that was fine, too.

Cat got her out of the uniform, pins all still in place, and Tori grabbed the tuxedo and picked up Officer Pedesko’s boots and headed back to her bedroom to change, putting on the bustier and the knee-high black heeled boots that Mistress Tawny often wore.

She came back out and stood back on the step stool so Cat could start working on the tuxedo. Sam gave the outfit an approving nod, and then only a few minutes later, Tori heard Jade’s car in the driveway.

“Sam, can you open the front door and see if Jade wants to come in?”

“Sure,” Sam got up and brushed the chip dust off of her clothes and hands onto Tori’s floor before heading to the front door and shouting, “Hey! Come in here.”

Jade came to the door moments later, “I didn’t know you were going to be here,” she stopped speaking and stood in the doorway, staring at Tori. “I...didn’t know _you_ were going to be here either.”

Tori smirked. It was hard not to let a little bit of Mistress Tawny come through when she was dressed like this and Jade looked at her with apprehension. “Don’t worry. The Mistress isn’t here right now,” she told Jade.

Jade relaxed a little, “Good,” she replied. Tori saw Sam and Cat exchange a look over this, but neither of them said anything.

“So,” Sam drawled suggestively, “How was your date?”

Jade groaned and walked past Tori to flop down on the couch, grabbing a throw pillow to press against her face. “That good, huh?” Tori teased.

Sam frowned, “It sounded like it was going great.”

Jade lowered the pillow, “It _was_. For like the first twenty minutes or so.” She gazed around the room and seemed to realize she had everyone’s attention. “Were you all sitting around talking about my date?” she accused.

“No,” Tori replied easily, “Cat and I were doing important costume work.”

“But, also talking about your date at the same time,” Cat admitted.

“Well, we wanted to know!” Tori defended. “So spill.” It came out a little more authoritative than she meant. Damn Mistress Tawny’s boots.

But Jade didn’t seem to mind, “Well, like I said, it was good at first. We met for coffee. She loves _The Scissoring_ , so it was nice to chat about that for a while. But once we’d dissected everything amazing about the movie, we kind of ran out of things to talk about, so she suggested we go back to her place to watch something. She said she lived nearby, so it sounded like a good idea to me.”

Jade fell silent for a moment, and Sam said, “Okay, so how’d you mess it up?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Jade defended, “We got there, and that’s when I found out she’s twenty-three, she lives with six roommates in a two-bedroom apartment, and when she said she wanted to ‘watch a movie,’ she really meant she just wanted to get busy in a _busy_ apartment and I bailed.”

Sam guffawed, “Wait, you didn’t know what ‘watch a movie’ meant?” She shot Tori an exasperated look.

“No! Because I actually _like_ to _watch movies_!” Jade flung her arms around for emphasis.

“You? Watching a movie? Shocking,” Tori smirked, glancing briefly at Sam.

Sam was holding back laughter, but Cat sounded genuinely compassionate as she said, “I’m sorry your date didn’t go well.”

“It’s fine,” Jade said, waving a hand dismissively. “I didn’t expect my first scissHER date to go well, anyway, I’m just glad I got it over with.”

“You’re getting the hang of it,” Tori smiled sympathetically, “A lot of disappointing first dates is just par for the course.”

“Great,” Jade grumbled sarcastically, “Because I’m _so_ easy to date without all this on top of it.”

Tori arched an eyebrow at her, “Jade, your two favorite things are literally coffee and movies. What about that makes you hard to date?”

Jade arched an eyebrow right back at her. “You forgot the part where I hate people.”

Tori snorted, “Please, you know how to behave.”

“Okay,” Cat chirped, “Let’s get you out of this tuxedo.” And it was about time, too, with Tori teasing Jade about _behaving_.

Somehow, it felt weirder with Jade there, in a way it definitely hadn’t when they’d stripped down to their underwear to get into a jacuzzi a few months before. But Tori willed herself to ignore the awkwardness, and pushed her attention back to Jade, as Cat stripped her down to her bustier and underwear. “Why don’t you let us help you set up your next scissHER date?”

“Yes,” Sam said, mouth half-full of chips, “I want to see what kind of options there are on there, anyway.”

“Yes!” Cat agreed, “Jade, can we please be your matchmakers?”

Jade rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, “I mean, the app already does some of that for you, but...sure, whatever. I’ll let you look at it.”

Reluctantly, Tori headed back for her bedroom, wanting to be a part of things as Sam joined Jade on the couch and Cat took the tuxedo over to the dining room table to fold it carefully and slip it back in her bag. Tori hurriedly redressed and came out to find Sam and Cat on either side of Jade on the couch, looking at her PearPhone screen. Tori leaned over the back of the couch to get a look herself.

Sam seemed to be driving a lot of decision-making, something Tori didn’t think would be the best idea for Jade, so she quickly tried to catch up to what was happening.

“No, she’s too young, right? You didn’t like that your date today was twenty-three,” Sam glanced at Jade for confirmation.

“Yeah, I think I’m past that point in my life,” Jade replied.

“Then what about someone older?” Cat suggested, scrolling through the profiles. Tori realized they were just looking through a list of people who were nearby. “Here, she’s...sixty-two?”

Jade laughed, “A little too old for me, Cat.”

“Just asking,” Cat shrugged.

“Jade’s limit is probably...let’s see, how old is my mom now…?” Tori said thoughtfully. Jade looked over her shoulder and glared at Tori, who just smirked back at her, but then advised Sam, “You should probably just look at her matches. Hit the little scissor icon in the bottom left corner.”

But Sam was already looking at the next profile for people nearby, which was...Tori’s. Sam shot her a smirk, and Cat said, “Ooh, _that’s_ why you know this app so well.”

“Okay, it’s not a secret that I date,” Tori said, feeling slightly defensive, “We don’t need to look at that,” she said as Sam clicked on it.

“Maybe I want to see if we’re a match,” Sam teased.

“Okay, but you’re on _my_ profile,” Jade protested, but she wasn’t trying to stop Sam from looking.

“Oh, god,” Tori mumbled. The profile picture she’d chosen was herself in a pantsuit, looking at the camera over the top of her glasses. She at least felt pretty confident about that part, but the rest...she wasn’t sure her friends needed to see.

“‘Chill and in charge,’” Sam read from her _About Me_.

Jade let out a guffaw, “ _Chill_?” she asked incredulously.

“What? I am! Most of the time,” Tori amended, fully aware that right now, she did _not_ sound chill at all. “We really don’t need to--”

“‘Likes trying new things, music, edibles, knots. Dislikes poor communication, narcissists, people who insist they don’t dance.’ Solid,” Sam commented.

“Thanks, I guess,” Tori said quietly, “Really, that’s--”

“Here we go. ‘Turn ons: Contact me if you’re nerdy, if you’re GGG, or if you’re bratty. Or if you know how to behave.’” Sam raised her eyebrows. “Wow.”

Tori’s ears were on fire, and Cat asked, “What’s GGG?” though she pronounced it phonetically, apparently missing the way Sam had read out the letters.

“Good, giving, and game,” Tori recited as Sam nodded, “Good in bed, giving of equal time and pleasure, and game for anything, within reason.”

“Smooth way of saying they should be lucky to get in bed with you,” Sam gave Tori an approving look, then continued, “‘Turn-offs: closed-mindedness, judgmental attitudes, no sense of humor.’ Coming out swinging,” Sam crowed.

“‘Inspirational quote: _Make it shine_ ,’” Jade read, voice soft for a moment. She glanced over her shoulder. “Nerd.” Tori smiled, ears getting hot again.

But as Sam scrolled back up to the top, a notification popped up.

**_Looks like this profile might be a match! Would you like to confirm the match?_ **

“Yes,” Sam said, immediately clicking it.

“Oh my god,” Tori said.

“What the hell, Sam?” Jade snapped, but with no bite.

“Oh yeah, you said to check out Jade’s matches, huh?” Sam said, ignoring them both.

“The scissor icon,” Tori reminded weakly, already squirming at the fact that she was on that list.

Sam navigated to Jade’s matches. “Okay, what have we here? Oh, she’s hot.” She clicked on the profile of a woman with broad shoulders and muscular arms, “Oh, hell yes. You’re going out with her, look at those arms.”

“Okay, but her interests are, ‘hiking, biking, going outdoors, camping, softball…’ Yeah, no. This wouldn’t work at all.”

“How did you even get matched with her then?” Sam wondered.

Jade shrugged, “Probably because we both like Mexican food. And let’s face it, she is hot.”

“So take her out for Mexican food.”

“And then what? She finds out I hate anything that involves sweating and it goes nowhere. Nah, next.” But Sam wasn’t navigating away. Instead, she was zooming in on the athletic woman’s arm. “ _Next_ ,” Jade insisted.

“Okay, okay,” Sam said reluctantly, still staring.

Tori had to agree that this was probably a match to pass on. But then just then, the app popped up with a notification that Jade had gotten another match. “Ooh, let’s see her,” Tori pointed, and Sam tapped it.

They all stared at the profile picture, then one by one, looked at Cat.

“Guys,” Cat was wide-eyed, “That is _not_ me!”

“I mean, I believe you,” Tori said quietly, “Considering the match pushed through right as we were all sitting here, but…”

“Does _Cat_ have a lookalike around here?” Jade wondered aloud.

“That’s what I want to know,” Sam said, grinning lasciviously, “Dude, we have to message her!”

“Okay, but,” Tori squinted, “That _is_ Cat.”

“ _It’s not me_!” Cat protested again.

“Babe, we know,” Sam replied soothingly.

“No, I mean,” Tori pointed, “It’s definitely Cat’s picture.”

Cat leaned in. “You’re right. I put that picture of me on my SplashFace.”

“So it’s not someone who looks like Cat,” Tori realized, “It’s someone using pictures of Cat.” The implication hit her and Jade at the same time, judging by the way Jade spun to look at her, jaw dropped.

“Oh my god,” Jade said.

“Someone’s _catfishing_ as _Cat_!” Tori finished for her.

“Whoa,” Cat was wide-eyed, “They can _do_ that?”

“Okay, but, then we should _definitely_ message her,” Sam said, taking the phone out of Jade’s hand. “We...should..meet,” she narrated as she typed, “Sent.”

“‘We should meet?’ Sam, what the fuck,” Jade took her phone back. “No one is going to respond to that.”

“Hey, I get good results when I get right to the point,” Sam replied cockily. “Okay, who else do you have in your matches?”

They let Jade scroll to the next one and all took a moment with the profile picture. “She’s nice,” Cat nodded appreciatively.

“She’s hot,” Sam agreed.

“She is,” Tori had to agree, taking in the woman’s wavy light brown hair and hazel eyes. “Let’s see her profile.”

“She’s thirty-eight,” Cat commented, “So you could try someone a little older.”

“I’m okay with that,” Jade replied neutrally.

“Hey, she’s a painter, that’s pretty cool,” Tori put in.

“Yeah,” Jade agreed quietly, “Hmm, she likes books and plays the guitar, too. Seems like she might actually be _chill_.” Tori suppressed an eyeroll at the blatant jab.

“You’re gonna message her, right?” Sam nudged her.

Jade was smiling slightly, “Yeah, okay.”

But as they all still had eyes on Jade’s phone, a message came through from the Cat profile. Tori hadn’t even registered her name, which turned out to be Denise J.

“Is it the _Cat_ -fish?” Sam leaned even closer, “Open it.”

“Jeez, okay,” Jade said, opening it.

The message read:  
  


**Denise J: sorry, beautiful, I’m at work right now, but maybe we can meet up another day. Let’s chat, what’re you up to?**

  
Tori snorted, “Oh, geez, here we go. She’s going to string you along for as long as possible.”

“You have to reply,” Sam encouraged.

“I will, I will,” Jade said, standing up from the couch, “But first, let me send a message to the woman I _actually_ might want to go on a date with.”

As Jade composed a message in private, Tori turned to Cat, “I’m really excited to see your show this weekend. How are you feeling about it?”

“Good!” Cat bubbled, “I’m so glad you’re coming opening weekend!”

“I’m coming closing weekend, too,” Tori grinned, “So I can get the full experience.”

“I’ll probably have the show memorized from attending every night,” Sam smiled proudly at Cat.

“What are you guys doing on Sunday after the matinee?” Tori asked.

Sam and Cat exchanged uncertain looks. “I don’t know,” Cat said, “We hadn’t planned anything yet.”

“Well, Sundays I like to cook at home, and Jade and I usually eat together, but why don’t you two come over for dinner? We could celebrate Cat’s opening weekend and hang out.” It had been pretty fun, hanging out with Sam, Cat, and Jade, and it might be a challenge to cook something meatless that Sam would actually like.

“Hey, sounds good to me. You’re speaking my language, offering food,” Sam replied.

“We’d love to come, Tori!” Cat said excitedly.

“Sounds fun,” Jade replied, glancing up from her PearPhone with a smile. Tori wondered if maybe she should have consulted Jade, because it was sort of _their_ thing now, but she was still the one cooking. And Jade seemed fine with it, after all.

An evening with her friends seemed like just what Tori needed.

-

Sunday morning, Jade woke up to a text that said:  
  


**Don't brew your own**

**I'm outside with a full pot  
  
**

It was only sent about ten minutes earlier, so she pulled herself out of bed and ambled out the front door to the picnic table, where Tori sat with the aforementioned coffee. Halfway into her first cup, the world began to settle in around her as she fully woke up. By now (and with their previous history), Tori knew not to engage any conversation until around this point. If she did, at all. Jade appreciated that they knew how to just sit together, something a lot of other people didn't understand or practice. She thought back to lazy weekend mornings in New York with Lana, which were similar, but even then, there was almost always something to talk about. Or maybe Jade just usually managed to slip away on the balcony with her coffee while Lana made her usual oatmeal with blueberries before Jade came back in to toast herself an everything bagel (fresh from Oh My Bagel).

Maybe she mostly just liked having a routine, something to count on, something to ground the day. Whatever it was, she liked this.

"How was last night?" Tori asked, as Jade refilled her cup, “Because I’m thinking the text I got that said ‘I hate it here’ means it didn’t go well.”

Jade laughed and shook her head. "Oh. Yeah. No. You're going to have to wait." She'd gone on another scissHER date, the one her friends had ultimately set her up on, the night before and she could tell Tori was itching to hear all about it.

"Okay," Tori chuckled. "Let me know when you've had enough coffee to talk."

"No, I mean, you have to wait until dinner," Jade said. "I'm not going to repeat the same story all day."

"Wow." Tori poured a bit more into her own mug. "Well, then I can't wait." She sipped her drink, then began, "Not even a little--"

"No!" There wasn't much bite to it, but at least Tori stopped asking. “And same with the Cat catfish, too, I’m not telling that story multiple times either.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” Tori smirked, but she didn’t pry about that, either.

After coffee and whatever Jade could wrangle for breakfast from her tiny kitchen (yogurt and toast), she showered, dressed, and spent some time checking her work email. After clearing her inbox, she felt the urge to search "whisper creek fanfiction" for no reason other than it amused the hell out of her. It was something that had popped into her head a couple days ago while she started the second season and it was obvious things were heating up (at least subtexually) on the NerdWolf front.

The search results were too varied, so she added the ship name into the search field and, yep, there certainly was a dedicated fanbase. She was careful as she scrolled, not wanting to spoil herself for the show, but still entertained enough by the thought of people writing fanfic about one of Tori's characters to continue browsing. There was no plan to actually read any of it (more so spoiler related than any particular ethical conflict), but then she saw one labeled _RPF Addison Cole/Tori Vega_.

_What?_

Well. She had to look. And, hey, Jade was raised on the internet, she was involved in plenty of online fandom shenanigans with _The Scissoring_ and _Bite Me University_. So, she was well aware of "real person fiction" and how it was ultimately just a subsection of fanfiction, because none of it ever appeared to be rooted in actual reality. As the page opened, Jade wondered if Tori had seen any of this.

Quickly, she scanned the story, recognizing that the rating at the beginning indicated this was an adult piece of literature. And, yep, there it was, a clumsy but entertaining description of the two actors engaged in...a sixty-nine position? It could be hard to tell what characters were supposed to really be doing in some of these stories. Okay, well, anyway. Jade had satisfied her curiosity about "Addori" and closed the tab.

But maybe it was a mistake to have even looked at it in the first place on a day when she and Tori were spending so much time together. On the drive to Santa Monica, the thought of it kept drifting into Jade's mind, leading her to chuckle, which meant Tori wanted to know what she was laughing about. And after the third time it happened, Jade couldn't keep it to herself.

"You know there's fanfiction of you, right?" she asked, point blank.

"Uh, yes? NerdWolf was a pretty big deal to the fans." Tori’s reaction was minimal, since she was driving, but she did glance at Jade briefly.

"No, I mean of _you_. Tori Vega."

Tori sighed, hand readjusting on the wheel. "Oh. That. Yeah. I know."

"Have you...looked at any of it?"

"Not really. Seems...like I'd regret it."

"Yeah. Probably." Jade couldn’t quite keep the amusement out of her voice.

"Wait. Jade, did you _read it_?"

"No. Well. I skimmed one or two."

" _JADE_."

"What? It's right there online. And it's obviously not you. I mean, you'd never--"

"Oh god, I don't want to know, do I?"

"Probably not." Jade pressed her lips together again to keep from chuckling.

But then Tori shot her another brief glance, “You know, there’s probably some for you out there, too.”

Jade scoffed, “Yeah, no. From _what_?”

“From when you were dating Lana,” Tori replied reasonably, “You two certainly had a strong contingent of fans all on your own.”

“Have you _seen_ any?” Jade asked, eyebrow rising.

Tori shook her head, “No, I’ve never searched for it, but I’d bet you it’s out there.”

Jade narrowed her eyes, but she took out her phone anyway and started searching. Aaaand, yep, it looked like Tori was right. “Wow. Okay.”

Tori was slowing down for a stoplight, eyebrow raised as she glanced over. “You’re not going to read it, are you?”

“Of course I am. Just not right _now_ ,” Jade lowered her phone, eyes landing on Tori’s hands on the steering wheel again, and abruptly noticing the ring on her right hand. Tori wore rings fairly often, always had, as long as Jade had known her, and maybe that’s why it had taken a moment to register which ring she was wearing.

Tori had stopped at the stoplight fully and turned to look at Jade, but immediately followed Jade’s gaze to her hand, then looked back at Jade.

“You’re wearing it,” Jade said unnecessarily, looking away from the silver band with the stars and at Tori’s face.

Tori shrugged, smiling slightly. “Well, you did give it to me. And I like it.”

The light changed and Tori turned her attention to the road, leaving Jade with the privacy to smile about it, herself. There was a reason she’d gotten the ring for Tori, after all, and knowing that Tori’s inspirational quote was _still_ “Make it Shine,” well. Jade let herself feel good about Tori wearing and enjoying the ring that had provoked a huge but necessary fight.

Cat’s show was in a small theater in Santa Monica, tucked away between a coffee roastery (and they were early enough for Jade to order an Americano and buy a few bags of beans) and an art gallery. The space was tiny, maybe fifty seats, but that wasn’t uncommon for Los Angeles theatre. Jade hadn’t been particularly involved in any stage productions during her time in New York, but she did attend several small productions featuring friends she’d made during her stay there. There was absolutely a different culture around stage productions in New York versus Los Angeles, probably because LA actors tended to be filling time between auditions for film and television. But based on what she'd heard from Cat, this group she worked with was mostly actors who just loved performance and wanted to put on good shows. Jade liked the sound of it, especially when it came to a play like this one.

Sam had been holding seats for them, though it was such a small venue that there wasn't a bad spot to be had.

"You really come to every show?" Tori asked, once they were seated.

"Yeah," Sam confirmed. "She says she likes knowing I'm out here."

If anyone else had said something like that to Jade, she thought her eyes might roll back so hard they'd need to be surgically repaired. But with Sam and Cat...they were just actually _that sweet_ on each other. Having seen the shift in Cat from early high school to college to now, Jade was really happy that her friends had found one another. Sam was supportive of everything Cat did and Jade was pretty sure Cat had ultimately kept Sam from being locked away in a federal prison.

The show began and Jade was immediately entranced by Cat's performance. The other main actor was great, as well, but Cat was unlike anything Jade had seen from her before. At the same time, none of it was a surprise. She'd always known Cat was one of the best actors in their high school circle, it was why she'd cast her in so many projects. Cat, much like Trina, would do anything she was asked. But also, unlike Trina, Cat had a natural talent for understanding the language of the stage, something that Trina had later learned to hone and shape for the camera.

When the house lights finally came up at the close of the show, Jade was _so proud_ of Cat. Not just for the performance of Agnes, the woman who slowly sank into insanity during the course of the play, but for taking so much of her own experience and shaping all of it into a life she really seemed to love. When Cat emerged from backstage, it was evident from the way that she responded to the congratulatory comments from various audience members that she was thriving, that this little community stage was enough to fulfill her creative drive. This formula worked for her and Jade wondered if she'd ever figure out one that would apply to her own circumstance. She was feeling relatively happy with her current situation, taking jobs around LA, but she was definitely itching to try her hand at something that allowed her some range with creativity. Sure, she could shoot events with a "more interesting" eye than other people and yes, she could take better headshots than a lot of the guys who were basically over priced portrait studios.

But she didn't feel like she was creating anything. Just capturing moments.

And none of them were her own.

-

They drove back to Tori’s, ahead of Sam and Cat who needed to stop at home before coming over. It was good, it would give Tori a chance to get started. She’d done a lot of the prep work that morning, but she’d still have some work to do.

Tori was making meatloaf, and Jade had spent some time on the drive back trying to figure out what to do for the beer or wine option. Cat, of course, didn’t drink, but Sam wasn’t exactly a fan of wine (though, really, she wouldn’t say no to it, either). Jade spent some time trying to decide on a beer before Tori just suggested they have some weed with dinner instead and Jade had immediately relaxed at the notion.

This meant, of course, that Jade didn’t have to go anywhere once they got home. She followed Tori into her own house after they parked. “What do you want me to do?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Tori replied, heading to the refrigerator.

“Come on, I’m not going to just stand around and wait for them to get here.”

“Fine. You can put together the salad.”

She walked Jade through where to find everything in her kitchen and put her in charge of the task, letting her help with a few other things once she’d finished that. Tori was used to doing it all herself, and delegating was a different sort of challenge, but Jade was a pretty good assistant. By the time they heard Sam’s motorcycle in the driveway, they had everything basically ready, just the meatloaf needing time in the oven. She set a timer and they all went outside, Tori grabbing her vape, Jade carrying the water pitcher and Cat helping her with the four glasses.

“All right,” she told them, “Usually we have wine or something to pair with dinner, but tonight, I’ve selected some quality cannabis for the occasion. This strain is called Lone Gunmen. It’s a sativa-dominant hybrid, and I find it brings with it a really nice cerebral high without making you super wired.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sam said, rubbing her hands together.

Tori, Sam, and Jade began to pass the vape around, with Cat abstaining. They were pretty quiet at first, each watching each other appreciate the weed.

“This vape hits so smooth,” Sam commented.

“It’s got a kind of lemon flavor to it,” Jade assessed thoughtfully.

Cat giggled, “You guys are going to be so high.”

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll be able to get us home,” Sam said, though her eyes widened at the huge puff of vapor she released from the hit she took just after saying that.

“You can always stay here if you need to,” Tori offered.

“Noted,” Sam replied, “We’ll see.”

“So, Jade,” Tori said, “I’m sure we’re all dying to know about your date last night.”

Jade rolled her eyes, mid-inhale, and let out a vaporous sigh. “Oh, god. Okay. But I’m only telling this story once, so,” she eyed Tori, “How much time is left on the timer?”

Tori checked her PearPhone, “About three minutes.”

“Okay then. I’m going to tell you all about the Cat-catfish first.”

Cat leaned forward, “Oh, yes! I need to know who’s pretending to be me.”

“Okay, well the short version is I still don’t know,” Jade told her, “But we’ve been chatting a little bit and I’m trying to compile evidence.”

“And?” Sam prompted.

“And...she’s just like Tori said. Always has an excuse. She claimed her car broke down on the one night this week she claimed to be free when I tried to arrange to meet her. On top of working _weird_ hours. Yet with all of this stuff, she always seems to have time to chat.”

“That sounds about right,” Tori tilted her head to the side, “Lots of people go on sites like this just for the virtual experience, they don’t ever intend to meet up.”

“Okay, well I’m going to keep seeing what she says. I know how to keep track of when people are working,” she shot Tori a smirk.

“You do,” Tori grinned back.

“I’m going to make her meet me,” Jade vowed.

Tori frowned, “Okay, but...she knows what you look like. So what if you’ve _already_ met her, and you don’t know?”

There was silence at the table for a moment. “Whoa,” Sam said, “Okay, I don’t know how I didn’t think of that.”

“Relax,” Jade said, “I haven’t really given her any information about me. I’m not going to bring a stalker home.”

“Okay,” Tori replied, “I trust you.”

“I’m just going to keep trying to get her to tell me things she likes so I can start figuring out where her normal stomping grounds are.” Jade’s eyes narrowed in determination.

Tori’s timer went off. She took a final hit from her vape--she was going to be good and high for this meal--and got up from the table. Jade stood up, too.

“Need help?” Cat offered.

“No, we’re good,” Tori told her.

Though because she didn’t ask for help, it took two trips to bring everything out--meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, and salad. It always looked like a lot of food, spread out on the picnic table, but Tori legitimately worried it wasn’t enough this time, with Sam in attendance and everyone but Cat already fairly stoned.

Tori was hungry, and was sure Jade must be, too, but they hung back and let their guests serve themselves. Sam actually served Cat everything she wanted first (which, omg, they were so cute it actually hurt sometimes), before taking heaping portions of everything, even the salad, but to Tori’s surprise, there still seemed to be plenty left for herself and Jade.

They all took a moment to start eating, and though Tori wanted to know about Jade’s date, she also wanted to give her a chance to eat for a moment before having her tell what might be a long story. She was also interested to see if anyone had anything to say about her cooking. Sam was on a cooking show, and though Tori thought she probably was about on par with Trina in terms of skill, it still made her wonder particularly how Sam would react to the dish.

Cat spoke first, “This is really good, Tori!” Okay, and coming from Cat, that meant something, too. Tori knew her command of her Nona’s recipes in the kitchen was enviable.

Jade nodded her agreement, mouth full, and Sam’s brow furrowed, “It is, but there’s something different about it…”

Jade turned to look at Tori, “Wait. You only cook vegetarian, so…”

Tori nodded, grinning, “Yep. It’s meatless meatloaf.”

“This is _meatless_?” Sam stared at her plate incredulously, “Then what _is_ it? What am I eating?”

“You know. Faux meat. Plant protein or whatever,” Tori replied.

“I...okay, the texture is a little off but _damn_. You almost fooled me.” Sam took another big bite of the meatloaf on her plate. “And yeah,” she said around her food, “It’s good.”

“I haven’t been disappointed by Tori’s cooking yet,” Jade said sincerely.

“Speaking of disappointment,” Tori started, already satisfied with the feedback on her food, “Your date,” she directed at Jade.

“Oh, yeah,” Sam said, waving her fork, “No more delaying on this. We want to hear about it.”

“Ugh, okay,” Jade replied, taking a sip of water, “Okay, so, the woman you guys picked for me? Anyway, her name is Clarissa, and it seemed like she might be cool when we were chatting earlier in the week. And then she asked me if I wanted to meet her on Ladies Night at Femme Barre.”

Tori nodded in familiarity. One of the few lesbian bars left in Los Angeles was relegated to a few nights a month inside of what was usually a gay men’s bar, and the drink specials were really what got people to actually show up. It wasn’t a place Tori really spent much time, but she’d certainly been there.

Cat was the one who said, “What’s that?”

Sam replied first, “It’s where I go sometimes, babe. To _hunt_ ,” she smirked.

“Ooh,” Cat flushed a little, “Got it.”

Okay, so they were just throwing that out there. Some of that must’ve shown on her face, because Sam looked at her, “I know I told Jade about how Cat and I work, and, you know, I figured that meant you knew, too, right?”

Tori nodded as Jade said, “You just assumed I would tell her?”

“Well, _you did_ ,” Cat pointed out, “And it’s good, really. I don’t want anyone thinking Sam’s doing anything I’m not okay with.”

“Back to your date,” Sam prompted.

“Okay,” Jade said, “So we met up, and I mean, I already kind of wasn’t feeling that into being there. It’s loud, it’s crowded, it’s just really not my scene, but I decided to give it a chance because that’s where she wanted to go. And I was into staying, because well, you saw her picture. She looks even better in person.”

“Fuck, yeah,” Sam mumbled encouragingly.

“So it’s loud, but that just means she has to get _really_ close for me to hear her, which I don’t really mind. We go to the bar and she asks me to buy her a shot, so I order my drink and she orders a shot of top shelf Patron.”

“Oh, hell, no,” Sam said.

“That’s expensive, right?” Cat asked.

“Oh, yeah. _Fifty bucks_.” Jade nodded, “But I mean, it wasn’t going to break my budget, and I figured as long as I didn’t end up paying for any more, it should be fine. So she had her shot, and I started on my Jameson and ginger. But then she wanted to dance, and I mean, I’m not _opposed_ to dancing, but in a club like that is...kind of a lot. But she was fun as she pulled me out onto the dance floor, and I was rolling with it, and the whiskey was helping, so I start dancing a little.” Jade paused, taking a sip of water. “And _then_ ,” she said dramatically, then took a bite of mashed potatoes.

They all watched her. “And _then_?” Tori prompted.

Jade waved her hand at her impatience, still chewing, and shot her a look while she took a second bite. Sam groaned at this, and Tori frowned. But then finally, after one more sip of water, Jade said. “And then, _she_ started dancing with me. And let me tell you...you know those wind sock guys at the car dealerships?” she let the question hang a moment, “They’ve got nothing on her.”

The image sunk in until everyone at the table was sharing baffled, horrified looks and then laughing. “Oh my god,” Tori laughed, “How did she not, like, _slap_ someone?”

“Oh, she did,” Jade said, “Other club patrons started to give her a _wiiiiiide_ berth.” She shook her head and took another bite, “And see, yeah, embarrassing, but I maybe could have redirected or something, maybe salvaged the evening. But then she goes,” she turned to Tori and reached toward her, “May I?” she asked, clearly offering to demonstrate something.

Tori shrugged and nodded. “Go ahead.”

Jade gently gripped Tori’s upper arms and began caressing them. “She starts doing this, but only between, like, my shoulders and my elbows.” The movement was definitely not what Tori was expecting, and she bit her lip to keep her laughter subdued, trying to imagine Jade in this position, hearing the incredulity in her voice. But also, it was kind of _nice_ , the intimacy of it, but okay, yeah, it’d be weird from a near-stranger. “Then she says, ‘I just took some molly in the bathroom. Do you want some?’ And I was out. That was it.” Yet Jade’s hands lingered on Tori’s arms, just for a moment. Tori quirked an eyebrow at her, and Jade dropped her hands quickly after that.

“Damn,” Sam leaned back, “How is it that the twenty-three year old seemed saner?”

“Right?” Jade hissed, “I thought she’d be a _lot_ different.”

Tori shook her head, “Dating apps take _all_ types. If you didn’t run into anyone a little bit unhinged, you wouldn’t have the full experience.”

-

Jade shot Tori a look. “Okay, you’ve been saying stuff like this since I got on the app. So what have _you_ seen?”

Tori settled into her seat, “Oh, geez. You really want to know?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jade said, “Because you keep talking about it but you haven’t shared anything. And I just had to tell you all about my last two terrible dates. So spill.”

“Hey, I always love a good story,” Sam said eagerly.

“Okay,” Tori took a contemplative sip of water, “Where to start…”

“Tease,” Jade snarked.

“Okay, so, when I was in Canada,” Tori started, “That’s when I first started using scissHER. There was only one girl I really saw a few times, we didn’t really _date_ date--”

“Surprise, surprise,” Jade drawled. What was it with Tori’s aversion to actually dating anyone?

Tori shot her a tight smile, “I was _going_ to say that I’m glad I met her because she was the one I told you about, who liked the beginning parts of porn, and inspired some of my work on Virtual Encounters.” Oh, yeah. Jade definitely remembered the story about the inspiration for Officer Pedesko’s new and improved career. “So that was going to be my plug for the apps aren’t _all_ bad. But that’s not what we’re here for.”

“Nope,” Sam said, “Though that’s pretty cool.”

Tori nodded, “But then after things ended with Meghan, I went on a few dates that were...kind of disastrous.” Tori seemed to be considering her words, “So, the first one was like...we didn’t have a lot in common, but I was really attracted to her, like, dark hair, blue eyes, nice boobs. Uh.” She glanced at Jade sheepishly, who raised her eyebrows.

“Your type, then,” Sam chuckled.

“I mean, one of them, definitely,” Tori admitted. _Was she blushing_? “And she was like, kind of intense and edgy, and she talked about all sorts of things she wanted to do in bed--all pretty vanilla stuff, to be clear, but back then it was pretty exciting to just have someone talk about exactly what they wanted to do with me in bed. And so we went to hook up, but like...I don’t know. I don’t know if she was all talk and actually didn’t have that much experience or what, but it...was not working for me. She went down on me for like, thirty seconds, and then started fingering me. And I tried to ask her to adjust how she was touching me, because she was like, _next_ to my clit and not on it. And she...freaked out. Like, instant tears, talked about how she was doing her best and if I didn’t like it I could just leave.” Tori blinked dazedly, shaking her head. “So I left.”

“Yikes,” commented Jade.

“It doesn’t sound like she was okay,” Cat frowned.

“I mean, I can only speculate,” Tori said, “But it really didn’t seem like a good idea to stay.”

“Yeah, I’d have bailed,” Sam said bluntly. “If you can’t hear what somebody needs without making it about you, then nah. Don’t have sex.”

“Exactly!” Tori slapped the picnic table, leaning in toward Sam. “So, okay. That was like, the first time I had to bail. The next one was...weirder.”

“Do tell,” Jade turned more toward her on the picnic bench. Sure, that first story was definitely a shitty situation, but Tori had made it sound like she had encountered some real extreme people in her time.

Tori’s plate was almost empty, and she took a moment to eat the last couple of bites before speaking. Jade surveyed the picnic table, noting that everything was almost gone. She was pleasantly high, full, warm, and happy, out in the yard with her friends. It was still weird sometimes to think that she lived here, that for now, she was staying here.

The presumption of temporary housing had ingrained itself in her head, so that a part of her brain was always wondering where they were off to next. It was taking time for it to settle that she didn’t have to go anywhere, for a while, if she didn’t want to.

Tori had cleared her plate and put down her fork, and she said, “Okay. So this was another girl that...was, uh, my type.” She avoided looking at Jade this time, which made Jade smirk. “And she was sweet, actually. Kind of quiet. So I went home with her, and she told me she wanted to try some roleplay…”

“Oh, damn,” Sam grinned, “Okay, I want this to be hot, but I know it won’t be.”

“Well,” Tori tilted her head, “Wait and see, I guess. So I’m, you know, I’m me. I was interested in trying it. So I asked her what she wanted.” Tori licked her lips. “So she said...she wanted to roleplay as Disney princesses. So I thought, okay, that’s a little unexpected, but I can roll with it. But then,” Tori paused, “Then, she said, ‘Let’s do _Frozen_! I’ll be Anna and you be Elsa!”

Jade laughed before she could stop herself, “She did not.”

Tori nodded, “She did,” she said simply, “And I told her, um, I have a sister, so this is weird for me? Like, I didn’t want to shame her, but I also wanted her to know that...yeah, I couldn’t go there.”

“Okay,” Sam tilted her head to the side, “Yeah, I don’t think I could do that either.”

“Well, you have a sister, too,” Cat replied, “You know, I always thought we should dress up as Anna and Elsa for Halloween but...yeah I guess I thought it would be too weird.”

“Hey, we can do that,” Sam reached for her shoulder, “Halloween is different. I just wouldn’t want to still be them when we get in bed that night.”

“So what did she say?” Jade asked, bringing them back to Tori’s story.

“Well,” Tori continued, “She assured me that was fine, and that she had another idea. And then she said, ‘Why don’t we do it so you’re Maleficent and I’m Aurora,’ and I thought, okay, I can play the sexy antihero, this might be fun, but then she said, ‘And _I’m your baby_.’ Now before you say anything,” Tori said quickly, “Part of what freaked me out then was that I barely knew anything about this. I get it _now_ , and it’s totally valid, but... _man_ , what a thing to spring on a first date.”

“She was ballsy,” Sam said, eyes wide, “I mean, props to her for knowing what she wants.”

“Yeah, I have to give her that,” Tori agreed.

“What did you do?” Cat wanted to know, sounding genuinely curious.

Tori laughed and shook her head. “Let’s just say, age play is not for me.”

“That means you totally tried it with her, doesn’t it?” Jade prodded, watching her closely.

“I’ve said all I’ll say,” Tori replied cryptically, “No judgment. Just not my thing. I’m not good at it. I refer people to other dommes who love it all the time.”

Jade tried to imagine Tori caring for a girl who looked vaguely like her who was pretending to be a baby, and...okay, yeah, time to stop this train of thought. It was interesting, though, to know that there were things Tori didn’t want to do. She kind of assumed that, as a dominatrix, especially one that people paid to enact their fantasies, that Tori just kind of did whatever people wanted. But clearly, it mattered to Tori that she had some sort of connection to what was happening between herself and the people she topped. Maybe it was naive of Jade, but a part of her hadn’t thought a whole lot about what _Tori_ might get out of dominating people.

She wondered if Tori ever got aroused at work.

But then Tori was standing and beginning to stack the dishes. No leftovers this time, not that there ever were when you ate a meal with Sam. Jade stood up to help, and Sam and Cat insisted on carrying some things in, too. Cat brought in the pitcher of water, which Tori refilled from the faucet water filter. She insisted on everyone leaving the dishes in the sink for her to take care of later and they headed back outside, refilling their glasses.

Tori picked her vape back up, “Anybody want some more of this?”

“Sounds good,” Jade agreed. The night was still young, they could probably hang out for a while after this. Sam nodded in agreement, so Tori turned on the vape and they began to pass it around again.

“Okay, but,” Cat said thoughtfully, watching the vape go around, “Sam, remember when you thought my Cat-catfish might be my double walking around out there in the world?”

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled, “I wish.”

“Okay, but that’s making me think of something,” Cat looked at Tori, “Have you ever heard of Shelby Marx?”

Tori frowned, “The name sounds a little familiar.”

“That boxer,” Sam explained, pulling out her PearPhone, tapping quickly and then turning the screen to Tori, “This one.”

“ _Oh_!” Tori exclaimed in recognition, “Okay, _yes_ , I know who you mean. Every once in a while in Canada I’d get people asking if I was her. Hasn’t happened in a long time, but...yeah.”

“See? They do look alike,” Jade said to Sam.

“I guess,” Sam said noncommittally.

“I thought so, too, when you hooked up with her,” Cat revealed.

“Wait, you _what_?” Tori exclaimed.

“It’s really not a big deal,” Sam replied shamelessly, “I’ve known her for years. We still talk sometimes. Besides, I only did it because Jade couldn’t do it.”

“Wait,” Tori was turning to her now. “ _What_?”

“I made out with her,” Jade shrugged, a little uncomfortable. “But it...didn’t work for me,” she focused on taking a hit so she wouldn’t have to look at Tori.

“Okay, that’s…” Tori shook her head, “I mean, I kind of knew she was out there but...Cat, why did you bring her up?”

“Because I was wondering if you’d make out with her if you met her,” Cat said bluntly.

“ _What_?” Tori asked, yet again. “Uh…” She appeared to actually think about it. She held out the vape to both of her cannabis consuming companions, and turned it off when she got head shakes in response.

“I’m curious because I once had a dream where there was, like, a clone of me and she kissed me and...it was nice,” Cat said succinctly.

“You never told me that,” Sam sounded highly interested.

Tori looked over at Jade, and Jade had a sense they were thinking about the same thing: the dreams they’d had as teenagers that featured multiples of each other, that they’d teased each other about throughout the years they’d dated. Finally, Jade had to say something, “Well, I never dreamed about a double of myself, but multiple Toris got freaky with each other one time.”

“Oh my god,” Tori rubbed her forehead, “How did I know you were going to say it?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Sam wondered, “Hell, I’d do myself in a dream.”

“Sam,” Cat frowned, “You have a twin. Isn’t that weird?”

Sam scoffed, “No, because I can tell the difference between myself and Melanie, and I’d never want to do _her_. But me? Hell yeah.”

“You’re freaky, Sam,” Jade commented. But she thought about it. “I mean, I’d consider it,” she said.

“You _would_?” Tori asked, turning to her in surprise. Really, Tori being thrown off by this entire line of conversation was amusing Jade a lot.

“I _do_ have great boobs,” Jade teased, watching Tori’s eyes flick to them almost involuntarily.

“Oh man, speaking of boobs,” Sam said, “Hold on. Let me ask Shelby if I can show you a picture of them. Let me take your picture,” Sam held up her PearPhone to Tori and snapped a shot.

“Wait, why are you--her _boobs_ are on your phone?”

“Yeah,” Sam said easily, dashing off a text, “I take a picture of every set I see, if the chick agrees to it. And then I send it to Jade if they’re cool with it.”

Oh geez. That wasn’t something Jade needed Tori to hear about. Tori turned to Jade looking very surprised, “Does she?” she asked.

“She does,” Jade said simply, “It was, you know. A nice gesture when I was moving around a lot.”

“Hey, what are friends for?” Sam said happily.

To her relief, Tori seemed to find this highly amusing. “I...don’t know if I need to see Shelby Marx’s boobs.”

“Well, let me see what she says, and then you can decide,” Sam offered. “She’s typ--oh. Haha, okay, she wants to know if you’re that Canadian actress people confuse her for.”

Tori groaned, and Jade laughed, “Canadian,” she teased.

“I get that a lot,” Tori said mournfully, “You can tell her yes.”

“I mean, you did spend a few years there making a hit show,” Jade teased, “Plus a bunch of other stuff.”

“What, _Whisper Creek_?” Sam asked, “That was a good show,” she nodded appreciatively.

“It really was,” Cat replied, “Sam and I were obsessed.” This was news to Jade, but then, it made sense that they hadn’t talked with her about it, back when it was airing.

“Oh man. Did you guys ever look at any of the fanfiction?” Jade asked. She realized as she said it that she was perhaps revealing a level of geekiness that she should keep to herself, or at least between herself and Tori, but, too late now.

“I saw some of it, but it was weird because of Tori,” Cat replied, “Even though it was just about her character.”

“She says you can see ‘em!” Sam reported, interrupting the train.

“Do I want to see them?” Tori asked aloud, “Wait, why do I even want to see them?”

“If it were me, I’d want to know if they looked like mine,” Cat said simply.

“They don’t,” Jade replied, “They’re different.”

“ _You’ve_ seen them?” Tori stared.

“Not, like, in person,” Jade defended awkwardly, “I, uh, only made out with her.”

“So you saw the picture,” Tori clarified.

“Yeah,” Jade admitted.

Tori nodded, seemingly to herself, “Okay. I’ll look.”

“Cool,” Sam grinned, “By the way, Jade, I guess you were in the frame of the shot I sent Shelby. She wants to know if you’re over your ex yet.”

“Uhhh,” Jade glanced at Tori, whose expression was somewhere between surprised and curious, “Tell her thanks, but I don’t do long distance.”

“Fair,” Sam shrugged, “Okay, here they are. You ready to see them, Tori?”

Cat leaned over to look at Sam’s screen. “Ooh, they’re nice,” she commented, then she squinted at Tori, “I don’t know if they look like yours, though.”

“They don’t,” Jade said again, “Why is no one listening to me? I’m the one who knows. I’ve seen both.”

“Show me,” Tori said, seeming to be steeling herself as Sam passed her the phone.

Tori stared at the image on the screen for a long moment. Jade couldn’t help it; she leaned over to look again, too, again noting the differences between the breasts on the screen and her vivid memory of Tori’s, the patterns of freckles she’d mapped so many times in her youth, and the more recent memory of looking up at them, while Tori ground against her stomach.

“Yeah, they don’t look like mine,” Tori said finally, seeming a little dazed.

“I could’ve told you that,” Jade sighed. She blinked a few times. “What were we just talking about?” she wondered aloud.

-

Tori grunted thoughtfully and heard Sam humming as they clearly tried to take the conversation back a step, but thankfully, a sober Cat remembered, “We were talking about fanfiction!”

“Oh, yeah,” Jade grinned, “I discovered today that not only is there fanfiction about Tori and her ex, Addison--”

“Not really my ex,” Tori interrupted.

“Sorry, her former _co-star_ , then,” Jade amended. “Anyway, Tori made me look, and it turns out there’s fanfiction about me and Lana, too.”

“I didn’t _make you_ look,” Tori argued.

“Oh, yeah,” Sam nodded, “That’s definitely out there.”

“Wait,” Jade stared at Sam, “You’ve seen it?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sam laughed, “And read a lot of it, too. Sometimes I leave reviews.”

“ _Why_?” Tori wanted to know, distressed. She’d never been able to bring herself to look at anything she or her character was involved in.

Sam shrugged, “I mean, I was in the public eye starting like fifteen years ago. I was like, morbidly fascinated by what was out there when I found out people were writing stuff about me and my friends on _iCarly_. And like, half of that was sketchy as fuck because we were _kids_ , but hey, it gave me thick skin. Not much fazes me. And it’s amusing as hell to see what people think you guys do in bed. Or me and Trina.”

“Wait,” Tori held up her hand, closing her eyes as if that would help her pretend she didn’t just hear that, “There is fanfiction out there about you and _my sister_?”

“Sure,” Sam laughed, “I get it, we have mad chemistry on _You Cook It, I Eat It_. But _man_ , do people have us all wrong. I mean, Trina’s so straight. Like, tragically. And like, I love food, and I love sex, but I really don’t need them to mix. Also, I’d never abandon a tub of fried chicken to have sex with Trina.”

“You might for me, though,” Cat said saucily, smiling at her.

“Well, yeah. But you’d let me take it into bed with us as long as I don’t get anything on the sheets.”

“How is that not mixing food and sex?” Tori asked dazedly, “No, wait, don’t answer that.”

“It’s for _after_ ,” Sam explained.

“You’re right about them getting stuff wrong,” Jade put in, “Like, the one I saw, they definitely thought I was the one who wore the strap-on and that...wasn’t the case.” Okay, Jade was _definitely_ high if that’s what she decided to share. Also, _what_?

“Oh, hell yeah,” Sam nodded, leering, “Lana gave it to you good, didn’t she?” Oh god. Again, _what_?

“She did,” Jade said, clearly trying for modesty, but her smile was smug. Tori stared at Jade, trying to understand the complicated emotion in her belly. Nostalgia, and fuck, was she _jealous_? That was ridiculous.

“So, wait,” Sam seemed to realize something, “You and Addison Cole didn’t really date?” she asked Tori.

“No, it was played up for the press, wasn’t it?” Cat clarified, looking to Tori.

“Yes,” Tori replied, “Though we were definitely...intimate.”

“I thought you knew they didn’t really date,” Cat said to Sam.

“If I did, I forgot,” Sam replied. “Man, people on the internet were really into your relationship. They wrote all sorts of lovey-dovey shit about you two.”

“The one I saw today was about some real lovey-dovey _sixty-nining_ ,” Jade put in gleefully.

“Yeah, there are ones about all sorts of stuff. Romantic as fuck, too. You guys sold it well.”

Tori laughed, “That’s funny because Addison was not _at all_ like that.”

Jade frowned slightly at this, “I mean, I know she wouldn’t be romantic since you guys didn’t date.”

Tori shook her head, “No, it’s more than that. I’m positive that whatever you guys read did not even _come close_ to scratching the surface of Addison Cole.” She let out a breath.

-

Jade watched Tori curiously. All she’d really heard so far was that they hadn’t dated, but had sexual chemistry. Jade still wasn’t really sure what the balance there had been in terms of how Tori and Addison had made everything look so natural for the cameras without things getting complicated. But apparently they had done it. And Jade was about to find out what things had _really_ been like in private. She was oddly intrigued.

“Okay, so,” Tori started, finger tapping thoughtfully on her water glass, “God, I probably shouldn’t even say most of this stuff since Addison is a public figure, but...fuck it. I have a right to my experiences. So...Addison was somehow both really incredible in bed and also really maybe the worst.”

“Oh, this is gonna be _good_ ,” Sam leaned forward with interest.

Tori smiled tightly, then continued, “She was...she was passionate, and kinda kinky, and really loved to get wild in bed. This was both amazing, and why she was a disaster. Because despite all this, she would _not fucking talk about what she wanted outside of the bedroom_.” The frustration in Tori’s voice was evident as it bubbled over, and she thumped her fist on the table emphatically.

“So, like, bad communication?” Jade remembered that bit from Tori’s scissHER profile, realizing she might be learning exactly what had inspired it.

Tori actually laughed harshly, “Try _no_ communication. If I tried to talk about anything when we _weren’t_ in the middle of fucking, she’d just say, ‘Oh, you know what I like!’ or ‘Why would we even need to talk about that?’ And then next thing I know, we’re in bed and she’s demanding things like ‘ _Slap me, choke me, scratch me until I bleed, fuck me until I can’t walk_.’” Tori paused. Jade let all of that sink in because _damn_ , what kinds of things was Tori into? “I only did two of those, by the way. Well, she could still walk when it was over, but I tried. But I had to say no to the choking and scratching.” Well, okay, Jade let herself be relieved by that.

Sam laughed, “Damn, Jade, this is reminding me of Cannibal Quinn.”

“Oh, god,” Jade groaned. She saw Tori turn to look at her curiously. “Oh, god,” she said again, “You might actually remember her.”

“Wait, what’s happening?” Tori asked, but she didn’t seem to mind the diversion at all.

“Okay, remember when we went to that queer women’s derby league bout for my birthday? And that one woman really seemed to be angling for a threesome with us until she found out you were underage?” Jade asked.

She watched Tori’s brows constrict thoughtfully, and then her face spread into awed realization, “Ohhh my god. _Yes_. Yes, I remember her. Barely. More the situation than anything about her.”

Jade nodded, “Fair. But okay, a couple years later, Sam and I went to a bout, and I ended up going home with that same woman. Cannibal Quinn.”

“Who you’d _think_ would be good at eating pussy, but _no_ ,” Sam cut in, already laughing.

Cat giggled. “ _Cannibal_.” She, too, was watching Jade with interest. Jade wondered if she’d never heard this story before, either. She assumed anything she told Sam got back to Cat. But this was still a time in Cat’s life when she had a lot going on, so maybe, hearing about Jade’s misadventures wasn’t high on her list.

“Yeah, none of that happened,” Jade revealed, “Instead, we were in bed, and everything seemed to be fine. She was kinda aggressive, but not really off-putting. At least, until she asked me to slap her out of _nowhere_.”

Tori nodded knowingly, “Yep. I know what that’s like.”

“So I did,” Jade said, “And I was nervous, so I hit her _hard_ , like, I was sure it would be too much, but _nope_ , she came like crazy.” Tori’s eyebrows rose, and Sam was still grinning wickedly. “It probably would have been fine if that’s all that happened,” Jade continued, “But then she says she’s going to take care of me and…” Jade started slapping the heel of her opposite hand rapidly, “Just starts _slapping my clit with no warning_.”

Tori visibly cringed, doubling over slightly, “Oh my god,” she groaned, “I _felt_ that.” Sam also winced, though she was laughing uproariously. Cat just looked horrified.

“Oh my god,” Cat said, “ _Why_?”

“I don’t know!” Jade cried, spreading her hands emphatically for a moment, “I guess she thought that’s what I would like! But she sure as hell didn’t ask me!”

“That’s horrible,” Tori said mournfully.

“And hilarious,” Sam said gleefully.

“It’s both,” Jade admitted, chuckling slightly. “And I got out of there quick after that, so, no harm done.”

“I haven’t even told you the wildest thing Addison did,” Tori revealed, “I’m not sure it’s worse than Cannibal Quinn, but...okay. So this one time, we were in the middle of sex, and Addison goes, ‘you should fuck me with a strap-on,’ and I was like, ‘okay, yeah, I could be into that, let’s go shopping,’ but then she goes, ‘oh, don’t be silly, there’s one in the bathroom right now. Go put it on.’”

“ _Damn_ , girl was prepared,” Sam chuckled.

“Oh, no, don’t think that she already owned one. This was _brand new, in the packaging, waiting on the sink for me_.”

“Wait,” Jade said, “She went out and _bought_ one without even saying anything to you?”

“ _Exactly_ ,” Tori looked at her for a moment, smiling slightly.

“Girl _really_ knew what she wanted,” Sam shook her head. “But yeah, pretty weird to spring on somebody.”

“Oh, she knew what she wanted all right,” Tori laughed ruefully, “So I go in there, I unwrap everything, I’m thinking, oh I should wash this dildo, so I do that,” she was making little motions with her hands as she described this.

“You...washed the dildo?” Jade teased, making a very specific handjob motion.

It had the intended effect, because Tori looked at her hands and balked, flushing slightly, “Oh, my god. Not like that. Like a normal way.”

“Uh huh,” Jade teased.

“Anyway,” Tori said quickly, “So I got everything ready and put on the strap-on, and I’m ready to do this. Of course, Addison immediately, like, takes control, pushing me on the bed, and she starts…” Tori seemed to be searching for words, pressing her lips together before simply saying, “She starts giving me a blowjob.”

“Nice,” Sam nodded appreciatively.

“It...was nice,” Tori revealed a bit hesitantly. Jade felt her eyebrows climb, and unwillingly pictured it--Tori, enjoying strap-on fellatio. It was quite an image, but also not one that Jade wanted to stay with because it made her uneasy, somewhere in her guts. “At least at first,” Tori continued, “I was... _really_ enjoying it until she got too...enthusiastic. Like she does.”

“Enthusiastic how?” Jade asked, ignoring her own hesitancy.

“Enthusiastic in the way that she was suddenly choking on it, _loudly_.”

“Fuck, yeah,” Sam nodded appreciation.

“Okay, listen, _maybe_ if I had been _expecting_ it, I’d agree with you, Sam. But it was _horrifying_. Pulled me _right_ out of the moment, and she was crying and gagging, and I really couldn’t tell if she was okay or not.”

Jade wanted to be amused at this, but she wasn’t. Something about it was upsetting, even though Tori’s retelling was mostly from a stance of humor. All she knew was, while it was still weird to think of Addison as someone Tori hadn’t dated because that’s how Jade had categorized her for so long, she’d begun to associate her as being someone who hadn’t been that important to Tori’s past emotionally, and that had fit in Jade’s mind. But it was beginning to be clear to her that she’d had a huge impact on Tori sexually, and...maybe Jade didn’t want to know much about that. Which was ridiculous, because they were friends, and friends talked about this stuff all the time.

“So I make Addison stop,” Tori continues, “And then she just like, jumps on the strap-on. Like, literally, _whoosh_ , she’s on top of me, and we’re fucking. And _that_ was kind of good, too, just like _really aggressive_. Not shocking for her, but _still_. But then, she starts screaming things like ‘ _Fuck me with your big cock_ ’ and ‘ _Fuck me daddy!’_ and I was just _not ready for any of that_.”

Well, Jade had to laugh along with everybody else about _that_ one, because who in their right mind would call _Tori_ that? “Jesus, Tori,” Jade said through her laughter. Though, as she lingered on the thought, maybe it wasn't _that far_ off from where Tori had eventually landed in her current career.

“Like I said,” Tori shook her head, “So much of what happened with her was _hot_ , but then also...traumatizing.”

“Do you still have her number?” Sam wondered.

“Oh, god, no. Even if I did, Sam, let me save you from yourself. Unless she’s changed, she’s really not a safe person to sleep with. She pushes all your boundaries when you’re too wound up to think clearly and...yeah. Just no.”

“Fair enough,” Sam shrugged, moving closer to Cat and slipping an arm around her. To Jade, it seemed a clear reassurance that Sam really didn’t need anyone else but her. Cat smiled softly, snuggling closer. It was sweet, like those two so often were, but it made Jade miss having someone, just for a moment. She was content with being single most of the time, enjoying the short-term connections she could have when she had them, but tonight, hanging out with her friends, feeling the balmy air and seeing the sky lit up with neighborhood lights, it made Jade miss being in love.

And in the moment of quiet that fell between them all, Jade heard the distant sound of a neighbor’s radio, playing some upbeat Spanish music. Jade glanced at Tori, and saw her watching her for a moment before her eyes dropped.

Cat was looking around, a blissful expression on her face. “You should put some lights up out here,” she said, “It’s so nice at night, but it’s a little dark.”

“I know, Jade and I kind of talked about that,” Tori grinned, “I actually ordered a bunch, I just haven’t done anything with them quite yet.”

“You did?” Jade asked. Tori nodded, and Jade thought for a moment, “What are you doing tomorrow?” It was Labor Day, and Jade hadn’t booked any work.

Tori shrugged, “Nothing, actually. Gave myself the day off.”

“Me, too,” Jade said, “Let’s put them up tomorrow. I’ll help you.”

Tori grinned, bright and joyful, “Okay! Let’s do it.”

They lapsed into comfortable silence for a moment, save that distant radio, until Sam said, “What’s for dessert?”

Tori frowned, “I always forget about planning for dessert. I can order something, though.” She picked up her PearPhone, “What are you guys craving?”

Jade groaned, “I think I’d just take anything sweet, but honestly I’m like, craving licorice. Like. Cat’s bra candy.”

Sam’s eyes widened and her arm tightened around Cat slightly. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

“Oh, my god,” Tori started laughing, most of her attention still on her PearPhone.

“Okay, it’s not what you think,” Jade started, trying to control her own laughter.

“Really?” Sam asked, “Because I hear bra candy, and I think...y’know. Nipples.”

Tori was laughing harder, and even Cat was giggling now, watching Jade mischievously as she tried to dig her way out of this. “Cat _literally_ used to keep candy in her bra,” Jade explained through her laughter, “Like, licorice and gumdrops mostly.”

“One time it was chocolate peanuts or something,” Tori’s nose wrinkled.

“Yeah,” Cat admitted, “The chocolate wasn’t a good idea. But the licorice was great!”

“It was,” Jade agreed.

“Wait, why don’t you _still_ keep candy in your bra?” Sam stared down at Cat’s breasts hungrily, “Do you know how much I would _love_ that?”

“I’ll think about it,” Cat giggled.

“Okay, dessert is on the way,” Tori reported, putting down her phone.

“What did you order?” Jade asked, but Tori merely smiled enigmatically.

“Okay, since we’re kinda on the topic,” Sam started, “Cat has told me some stories about what you guys got into in high school, and like, since it was all before she was effectively medicated and stuff, there are certain things that sometimes even she’s not totally sure actually happened. And some of it...is _wild_.”

“Well, we did go to a pretty weird high school,” Tori said reasonably, “So, like what?”

“Okay,” Sam let go of Cat and leaned forward, looking at both Tori and Jade with a skeptical and intrigued expression, “Here’s a big one. Cat says that you guys went to some foreign island and all got thrown in foreign prison.”

Tori and Jade exchanged a glance. “Yep,” Jade confirmed.

“That happened,” Tori agreed.

“You’re fucking with me,” Sam said bluntly. They both shook their heads. “Okay, Cat, tell the story, let’s make sure all the details line up.”

“Okay,” Cat started, “So for spring break, Tori invited us all to go to Yerba, because we thought it was going to be a tropical resort, but it wasn’t. It was a country at war, the hotel was terrible, Jade slept through soldiers coming in through the window, and Andre got bitten by a vampire moth. He grew a huge lump on his neck and was pretty messed up for a while.”

At this, Sam shot them an expectant look. Sleeping through soldiers coming in through a window was news to Jade, but Tori nodded, so Jade agreed. “All true,” Jade confirmed.

“Kay,” Cat nodded, “And then we were supposed to perform for the president of the country, or…” she frowned, “No, they called him something else.”

“Chancellor,” Tori said quietly, shifting uncomfortably.

“Right,” Cat nodded, “So then, everything was going well until Tori’s shoe flew off and hit the Chancellor right in the eye. Oh, right, I should probably say, he was already missing an eye, and Tori got him right in his good one.”

Tori groaned and slumped down against the picnic table, “It was an accident,” she mumbled into her arms. Jade rubbed her back, surprised that this still bothered her. It was _such_ a ridiculous situation that Jade defaulted to humor most of the time she looked back on it. But then, Tori had been in prison longer than the rest of them, and alone. That must’ve been scary. Jade supposed she was too absorbed in her own shit to think about it back then.

Sam chuckled slightly, “Oh, god. So I take it that all happened?”

“Sure did,” Jade nodded.

“So Tori got thrown in jail first,” Cat said, “And then Jade went to try to visit Tori in jail, but she had to show her boobs to the guards to do it--”

“Uh,” Jade interrupted, as Tori’s head whipped toward her, “That definitely didn’t happen, Cat.”

“Oh,” Cat frowned, “Are you sure?”

“You all came to visit me,” Tori said slowly, as if remembering, “And Jade mocked...oh god, what was her name...Sheba!”

“I...remember that,” Jade said regretfully. Okay, that had been pretty shitty, but really, she was doing it to jab at Tori more than anything else.

“So,” Cat’s brow furrowed, “You two didn’t fall in love in Yerba?”

“Uhh,” Jade glanced at Tori questioningly, wondering where Cat had gotten this idea.

“Oh, god no,” Tori laughed, “I was way too focused on surviving to pay much attention to Jade. Except when I had to stop Sheba from beating her to death with a two-by-four.” Sam’s eyebrows rose at this detail, and she eyed them both curiously.

“Wait, then when did you fall in love?” Cat wanted to know.

“That was...later,” Tori said, glancing at Jade.

“Yeah, much later,” Jade agreed. In spite of her recent realization that she’d been attracted to Tori for far longer than she’d been aware of it, that was very different from falling in love with her. She was struck with the memory, then--the horrible week where they didn’t have their phones, but in which they’d created a few bright memories. Being up on their overlook, Tori asking her to dance. Swaying and moving all silly, shoes knocking together, Spanish love ballads swelling from the little speakers of the hand crank radio. And then, being on the roof of the school, holding Tori after singing to her in front of the whole school, when Jade finally had the courage to verbalize those feelings that had been brewing at least since that moment, if not before.

It was so long ago, but the memory still felt as vivid as ever, and in the quiet, Jade could hear the distant sound of that same kind of music, softly playing in the balmy air.

Cat seemed to realize she wasn’t about to get a more specific answer out of either of them, and shrugged. “Okay, so, then we went to try to beg for Tori’s release, and Robbie somehow managed to kill the Chancellor’s pet octopus, and that got the rest of us put in jail. Except Sikowitz, somehow. So we were all in jail, Robbie got put on the girls side with us, I don’t know why. And I joined a prison gang and taught them to dance. And then they chopped off Tori’s foot.”

“Hold up,” Tori said, “What?”

“Everything sounded right until that very last part,” Jade clarified.

“Oh wait,” Cat said, frowning, “I guess you would still be missing a foot if that happened.”

“Uh, yeah,” Tori wiggled both her feet under the picnic table.

“Weird,” Cat shook her head, “Okay, so then Sikowitz found a truck to help plan an escape and we taught all the prisoners to dance and gave one more performance for the chancellor, and then we ran, and Sikowitz drove us across the border, and we made it home from there!”

“That’s true,” Jade confirmed, as Tori nodded.

“That’s...fucking wild,” Sam said, shaking her head. “I mean, I’ve...had my moments, but I’ve never been jailed in a foreign country. That I remember.”

“Well, we have,” Cat said brightly, “Even if it was over something kinda silly.”

“I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed you guys got out of that in one piece.”

“Some days, I don’t know how,” Tori shivered, “I don’t really like to think about it much. I don’t think I realized until I was older how badly that situation could have gone for us.”

“What else does Cat talk about?” Jade wondered, pulling the subject away for Yerba to spare Tori from thinking about it further.

“Something about a giant cupcake?” Sam started to ask.

Tori’s phone buzzed. She picked it up. “Dessert’s here,” she reported, already seeming much calmer. She stood, and Jade got up automatically to follow her, holding the gate and watching as Tori went to meet the delivery driver and came back holding a giant box.

“What is that?” Cat asked as they came back toward the picnic table.

“Sheet cake,” Tori said simply, placing it on the table, “Hold on, I’ll get plates. Anyone want more weed?”

“Why not?” Sam agreed, “At this point, we’re staying over anyway.”

Tori retrieved the plates, and they enjoyed their dessert, filling Sam in on a lot of the wild adventures they’d had in high school, the ones that hardly seemed real in retrospect.

But eventually, all the sugar and cannabis caught up to them, and they all began to get drowsy. Jade helped Tori carry everything on the picnic table back inside and started rinsing the dishes still left in the sink and putting them in the dishwasher while Tori tried to get Sam and Cat situated so they could sleep.

“I mean, I can give you my bed,” Tori offered.

“Nah,” Sam said easily, “We’re seriously fine on the couch. We’re both short, and I know I’m sleeping well tonight.”

“Me, too,” Cat smiled, cuddling up under Sam’s arm as they stood in the living room.

“Okay, let me get you a pillow and a blanket at least,” Tori shuffled down the hallway and came back a moment later. She seemed to only just then realize what Jade was doing, as Jade looked over her shoulder and caught Tori eyeing her, but she didn’t say anything, just handed the items to Sam and Cat.

Immediately, Sam climbed onto the couch, scooting back and patting the cushion in front of her. Cat laid down in front of her and covered them with the blanket, and the two of them spooned tightly, fitting together perfectly on the couch.

Tori came to help Jade with the last couple of dishes, and then Jade moved toward the patio door. She cast a glance toward Sam and Cat, who already seemed to be asleep.

Tori had been watching them, too, but then turned to Jade. “Well, good night,” Tori said quietly.

“Good night,” Jade replied, “This was a good idea, and dinner was great.”

“Thanks,” Tori grinned.

As Jade walked to the guest house, she could still hear the Spanish radio playing quietly in the distance, a crooning ballad to cap off the night.

-

In the morning, Tori woke around seven-thirty, which was normal for her on a weekday. She knew there was no way Jade would be awake that early (she generally showed up for Patio Coffee around nine if neither of them had anything scheduled in the mornings) and she wondered about the status of her overnight guests. Quietly, she moved down the hall toward the front of the house. They were still on the couch, Sam slightly snoring, Cat curled up like a literal cat on top of her.

She was about to start coffee, but decided to slip out and walk down the block to Doodle Donuts to pick up a mixed dozen. As she reentered the house, it was as if Sam was programmed to immediately respond to food within a certain radius, because she slowly rose up, arms around Cat as to not knock her off the sofa, and said, "Is that...donuts?"

"Yep," Tori said, placing the box on the counter. "How'd you two sleep?"

"Like a goddamn baby," Sam said, voice rough.

"I don't think you did," said Cat through a yawn. "Babies cry all night. You just snore."

"I do not!" Sam eased Cat off her lap and climbed over the back of the couch to the kitchen island where she flipped open the bakery box.

Tori realized she should have probably gotten two dozen as she witnessed Sam easily put away four of them in just as many minutes. Cat only had one while she watched Tori make the coffee, commenting on how fun the process looked while Sam mumbled, "Takes too long," through a mouthful of rainbow sprinkles.

"Just be sure to leave some for Jade," Tori reminded.

"Yeah, yeah," Sam pushed away from the counter because physical distance was probably the only way to keep her from eating the entire dozen. She washed her hands, then bumped Cat with her hip. "You ready to roll out of here?"

Cat nodded, finishing her cup of coffee and rinsing it in the sink. "Thanks for dinner. And breakfast. And cake." She gave Tori an enthusiastic hug, something she always did, no matter if she'd just seen her yesterday or a year ago.

"Yeah, we should do this more," Sam agreed. "Tell Jade she's lucky I left her anything at all," she added.

Tori laughed and said goodbye as they headed out the door. She heard the sound of Sam's motorcycle for a minute before it faded down the street. Cat really had come a long way in the past several years and seeing her so content made Tori feel extremely happy for her, maybe even a little envious of what she had with Sam. They were such a well-matched pair and it was obvious Sam would move mountains for Cat, if she had to. She might even choose her over food, if pressed.

When it came to her own life, Tori was satisfied with it. She was happy with her career and proud of the work she did, helping people find balance in their own lives by providing outlets they might otherwise not have or even know about. But through all that, she was still single and, while she loved every ounce of freedom she had, she also sometimes just missed...being with someone. Random texting. Snuggling. Fighting over what to watch. Kissing without any particular end goal (okay, fuck, she missed that probably the most). Finding notes in her jacket pocket that just said things like _**Walter + Nancy**_ and _**Seriously, why do you own so many damn blazers?**_

She also knew, intellectually, that her longest (and really only long-term) relationship had been with Jade when they were basically kids, so maybe these were just the things everyone longed for as they grew older. But another part of her doubted that. Maybe she'd just romantically peaked before twenty-one.

And now Jade lived in her guest house. They were working on being friends. And maybe they could get back to at least sending each other memes on a regular basis. Tori thought she might like that.

She might like it, a lot.

-

Jade had planned to sleep as late as she wanted, since she didn't have any appointments, due to the Labor Day holiday. Somehow, she still woke up around nine, which was pretty average for herself, at this point. Tori seemed like she regularly got up maybe an hour before then because she was often showered and had brewed her pour over coffee by the time Jade joined her out on the patio.

Even though she was awake, she was just lying in bed, trying to see if she might drift back off for a little bit longer. She'd been having a dream she couldn't quite articulate, but it had been interesting, something that maybe seemed like a seed of a story. Or maybe it was total gibberish, but the only way to know was to go back to it. However, it was difficult to fall back to sleep when there was a bunch of clattering happening just outside the front door of the small house.

Jade sighed and flung the covers off, grabbing her tank top off the edge of the bed (she'd gotten hot last night) and pulled it on. The noise continued and now she was mostly just irritated that she couldn't figure out what it was. As soon as she flung the door open and saw the metal ladder that sat, open and ready, next to the picnic table, she realized what all the racket was.

"Good morning!" Tori said brightly as she loaded a staple gun.

"Are you serious?"

The row of staples clicked into place. "Yes? We talked about this yesterday."

"Coffee first," Jade demanded.

"Then come get it." Tori placed the silver stapler on the table and opened the door to the house. As Jade walked, barefoot, across the patio, she processed why they were going inside. The table was covered in boxes of string lights.

In the kitchen, Tori had her Chemex waiting. It smelled heavenly enough that Jade wondered if maybe she had fallen back asleep, given that she was barefoot and bra-less while Tori looked put together even in her casual jeans and t-shirt (from the Long Beach Aquarium...never change, Tori). But when the coffee mug was placed in her hand and she sipped that first steaming mouthful of the beverage, she knew she was awake. Why was coffee so perfect? There was also a box of donuts on the counter, which Tori helped herself to and indicated for Jade to do the same.

The box was already half-empty and she could only assume one thing. “Sam got here first, huh?”

“She says you're lucky she left you anything.”

"She’s right. I’m actually surprised. How long have you been up?" Jade asked around a bite of maple bar.

"A while," was all Tori offered.

"Let me take a shower. And then I'll help you. But don't _do anything_ without me." Jade topped off her coffee and began to move for the door.

"Then hurry up."

"I mean it, Vega!"

Tori crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue and everything about the way she looked reminded Jade of who they were, ten years ago. Maybe they hadn't changed, all that much.

Jade didn't feel like washing her hair, so she brushed it out and pulled it up before showering. After getting dressed in jeans and a tank top, she left it up in a ponytail, which seemed appropriate for the theater techie adjacent work they were about to do on the patio. When she rejoined Tori outside, it was clear that Tori had spent the last twenty minutes opening all the boxes of string lights and removing all that tie wraps that were now piled up in the middle of the table.

Jade immediately grabbed the staple gun and moved to the ladder that stood in the corner. Tori watched her and crossed her arms.

"What makes you think you get to do the stapling?"

"Because, of the two of us, I'm the one who freaks out about things being uneven," was Jade's matter-of-fact reasoning.

"Okay, but you have to put them _where I say_."

"Yeah, I know. It's _your_ patio." Jade resisted the urge to tack a _Ma'am_ on the end of her statement.

Tori smirked as she held the ladder steady for Jade, then began to pass her the lights. They managed the first row without much debate, but when the first string was secured across the length of the patio roof, Jade felt they should first run lights around the perimeter while Tori wanted to continue in rows.

"What happens when we run out of lights halfway through?"

"We _won't_ ," Tori replied. Though, she was using that tone, the one that suggested she was holding ground based on nothing but her decision to do so.

"How many feet are each strand?"

"You really want to do the math, right now?"

"I really want to make sure we have enough lights." Tori wasn't answering her question, so Jade descended the ladder, intent on finding out the information she'd just requested. She stood with her back against the wall of the guest house and looked across at the doors to Tori's living room. "That's what...fifteen feet?" She turned and leaned against the brick wall that separated the patio from the street, looking at the lawn on the other end of the concrete. "And that's about twenty feet. So..." She quickly tallied up the numbers, "It's at least seventy feet just to--"

"Fine. We can do it your way," Tori's hand waved in the air, almost as if she were trying to brush away the equation of Jade's mental math.

"Are you sure?" She stood back up on the first step of the ladder, enjoying the height advantage it gave her.

The elevation also put her chest at Tori’s eye level and it was amusing to watch her purposefully avoid looking. "It might be my patio, but you're the only free help I've got, at this point."

"Uh, free? You're buying lunch, thank you very much."

"What about the donuts?"

"They were great. Bring me another one? And more of that coffee."

Tori's eyes narrowed in a glare, but her mouth upturned into laughter before she slipped inside to provide Jade with her compensation. The morning continued on like that, the natural slight bickering leading into the amusement of one, the other, or both that came with doing home improvement projects with someone you knew too well. They were on their last string and discussing just what they planned to order for lunch when a voice carried over from the other side of the gate.

" _Hello_!" Trina called. "Tori, I can hear you over there, so let me in. And it sounds like you have a friend, so I'd better not be seeing anyone naked." Tori pulled open the gate and there was the other Vega sister, looking pleased to have interrupted what could have been something intimate. Until she laid her eyes on Jade. "Oh."

"Hello, to you, too." Jade wasn't sure why Trina looked so disappointed. They were friends, at this point, but she was getting a side-eye that felt about in line with that ten-years-ago timeline she'd been thinking about earlier that morning.

"What's going on?" Trina asked.

"Jade's helping me put up the lights I've been wanting. I didn't know you were coming by."

"I wanted to pick up my Halloween decorations."

This sounded like a conversation Jade didn't care about, so she stepped through the open door of Tori's house to swipe the last of the remaining coffee from the pot. Despite changing locations, she could still clearly hear both of them.

"It's been five years, how come you suddenly need them now?"

"Because now I have a condo with a big balcony and the homeowner's association is having a contest. Also, what do you think you're doing?"

"What, with the lights? Jade thought this layout would look best."

"Yeah and since when does _Jade_ have an opinion on your patio lights?"

"Oh my god, she's helping me decorate my yard. What's your problem?"

Jade could only linger in the kitchen so long, so she decided she might as well see if she could contribute anything to Trina's bizarre interrogation. But as she stepped back outside, Trina said, "My _problem_ is that Jade spent six months in a depressed funk after you broke her heart. Did you know I had to bring her home, once? So she could lie in there on my couch and sleep off one more night of drunken crying about you?"

And, of course, this was the exact moment when Tori chose to make eye contact with Jade. But Jade shrugged it off. They'd already talked about things, they were working on rebuilding something new, they didn't need to relive it.

"Trina, everything’s fine," Jade assured her. "Tori offered up the guest house while I get back on my feet out here. "

Trina gestured to the string lights. "And, meanwhile, you're _decorating_ together." She said the word as if she’d walked in on them fingerbanging each other on the picnic table (which wouldn’t be any kind of surprise given the numerous occasions in high school when she’d basically done exactly that).

Jade shrugged. "Yeah, guess so."

"Well, you're both idiots," Trina declared. She tossed a green and white paper bag on the table, the sticker on the side indicating it was from Holly's Herbal Remedies. "Mom asked me to drop that off."

"Thanks. Your stuff is in the shed." Tori made no effort to help her sister and Jade was entertained watching her storm across the grass in a huff.

She left with her plastic bin of Halloween stuff, giving them one more mini-lecture about being irresponsible before she slammed the gate behind her. The second she was gone, Tori and Jade dissolved into laughter.

"You know, at this point, I like Trina as a person. But she’s still..."

"A maniac?" Tori suggested.

"Yep."

"You want me to order lunch?"

Jade picked the staple gun back up and twirled it like an old western six shooter. "Yeah, if we hurry, we can finish before it gets here."

-

The rest of the week after Labor Day seemed to pass quickly, with both Tori and Jade busy with work, seeing each other for morning coffee with Hamster, maybe catching each other doing yoga or yardwork, but mostly keeping busy on their own. That Sunday, Tori made dinner, trying for a spicy tofu Thai curry, but even as she was making it, she had a feeling it wasn’t coming out the way it was supposed to. Still, she powered through, and when she and Jade sat down with their wine and dished it out, she tried to mask her own disappointment at her cooking.

Jade, uncharacteristically, seemed to be trying to spare her feelings. “This is...different,” she said tactfully.

Tori sighed, “Okay, you can be honest. It’s not good. I think I messed up the tofu somehow.”

Jade relaxed, “Yeah, alright, I just thought maybe I just wasn’t a fan of tofu. But it’s...just kind of soft and sad.”

“It is,” Tori agreed, putting down her fork. “I’m gonna order some decent Thai, then, what do you want?”

They’d survived Tori’s not-great meal, still enjoying themselves. Jade told her about where she was in _Whisper Creek_ \--in the second half of season two, now. And it was nice to just have a simple, quiet meal, without any big reveals, or guarded secrets, or serious discussions.

The next week was similar, in terms of the two of them staying busy. And even though Tori took some time every day to wind down and try to appreciate the moment, somehow, that Thursday felt like the first evening in a long time that she was really alone with her thoughts. Jade was off working somewhere that evening, making everything about the backyard seem quieter, or maybe emptier, and Tori sat on the patio, under the new lights she and Jade had put up a week ago, vape in hand, enjoying the silence.

The sativa-dominant hybrid strain she was having put her in a contemplative mood, and her thoughts drifted to the past couple of weeks. The dinner with Sam and Cat, and the strangeness of feeling in brief moments like she was on a double date with her ex. Trina, yelling at her in the yard, and the way they’d laughed together afterwards. Jade trying to spare her feelings when she’d messed up on the Thai food.

It hadn’t fully processed at the time that Trina yelled it at her, but Tori was thinking about it now, the fact that apparently, Jade had been depressed about their breakup for six months. Like, gotten too drunk in front of Trina, of all people, to the point that she needed to sleep it off in the guest house. She remembered the moment her eyes met Jade’s in the backyard as Trina yelled at her, the brief, unguarded vulnerability in them before Jade brushed it aside. Everything about Jade’s reaction clearly communicated that they were friends now, they had moved past all that, but something about this lingered in Tori’s mind.

It didn’t sound like the Jade that Tori knew. When Jade got upset, she always pushed her energy into something creative or productive, like writing, or making short films. Jade wasn’t the type to mourn for _months_.

Tori had long ago accepted what she felt was her share of the responsibility for the breakup. Therapy had helped with that, assessing herself and seeing the ways in which her naivety had made her avoid the warning signs that Jade was unhappy, had made her avoid even accepting that the relationship was over. And in all that time, she knew Jade must have been angry, she knew Jade must have been heartbroken.

But somehow, she never really knew just how much she’d hurt her.

And if Jade had still been “crying over her” that long after the breakup...fuck.

Tori thought about what she’d learned about Jade since then. That she hadn’t had a long-term relationship since Lana, because she was never in the same place long enough. That, despite mostly traveling between the same couple of cities on the east coast for the past five or six years, she hadn’t been willing to do even temporary long distance with someone who lived in either of them.

Tori realized slowly that she’d hurt Jade so badly, she’d made it almost impossible for her to date. She remembered the way Jade had bluntly told Sam to tell Shelby Marx that she “didn’t do long-distance.”

_Fuck._

Tori hadn’t been prepared to spiral into this kind of funk over events that had happened almost a decade ago. But she had a good idea of what to do about it.

She texted Patrice, who replied quickly, indicating she was available to talk. Her phone lit up in her hand a moment later.

“Hey, Patrice,” she greeted, “How’s Reno?” Patrice was currently filming a television series of her own, one where she traveled to different colleges across the country to teach sex education and give individual sex and relationship counseling to specific students who needed it. She had just started with the fall semester beginning at many schools, and she and Tori had texted a bit about what had been happening.

But Patrice evidently knew Tori well, “Okay, I appreciate you asking, but I can tell from your voice that you’re not okay. And I think kinda high. What’s going on?”

Tori sighed. She really _was_ curious about what Patrice was up to, maybe even hoped it would distract her from her own shit for a minute, but Patrice cut to the chase, like she so often did. “What do you do when, like, you realize you really hurt someone, but it was a long time ago, and you’ve both kind of already moved past it, but then you realize you’re a little bit stuck there, but bringing it back up with them probably isn’t going to help anything?”

Patrice paused for a long moment. “Is this about Jade?” she asked astutely.

“Yeah,” Tori admitted quietly. “I just...I knew the breakup was hard for her, but...I _really_ hurt her, Patrice.”

“You were pretty devastated too, as I recall,” Patrice pointed out.

“Yeah, but,” Tori tried to think how to verbalize to Patrice that she thought she’d literally fucked up Jade’s ability to date without feeling like a total monster or totally self-absorbed. Maybe she was being a little ridiculous, but there was still regret, heavy in her chest. “I guess I just didn’t realize how badly I hurt her. Because I know how she normally copes, and it sounds like...none of her normal strategies worked for her, after our breakup.”

“Tori, you can’t blame yourself for how Jade chose to cope, or anything that happened after you weren’t part of each other’s lives anymore,” Patrice said reasonably.

“I know, but...I guess I’m just really fucking sorry and I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Well, you’re working on rebuilding a friendship now, and things seem to be going well. Maybe she doesn’t need an apology. Maybe she just needs your presence in her life.”

“I guess,” Tori replied quietly.

“If she can forgive you, you can work on forgiving yourself,” Patrice said.

It made sense to Tori. But that didn’t mean it was going to be easy to do. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll try. Now tell me about Reno.”

She chatted with her friend, her mood gradually lifting, but the knowledge of how much Jade had grieved stayed under the surface, a heavy burden Tori knew she would carry until she found a way to forgive herself or make it up to Jade. Whichever came first.

-

Jade was on day two of two shooting a music video for another friend of Chandra's (their reconnection had certainly been beneficial, both to their friendship and to Jade's financial state) out in Shadow Creek Park. She was serving as cinematographer on this production, just following the lead of the director (who mostly seemed to know what they were doing) as this was a lower-budget shoot, so a lot of decisions were being made on the fly. Overall, it was energizing to be part of a creative project instead of the corporate events and headshots that had been filling her calendar.

When the shoot finally wrapped around six in the evening, Jade backed up the memory cards to the production's hard drives, then handed everything over to the director, grateful she was able to call it a night instead of needing to scrub through footage when she got home. She'd loved the last two days of working with this crew, but she was tired from the time spent out in the sun (she'd slathered herself in sunscreen every hour, on the hour) and really just wanted to lay in bed and watch some movie she'd already seen a dozen times.

Because they were so far out, Jade hadn't had cell service all day (the production trailer had a signal booster for emergencies, but that was it) and it wasn't until she'd driven a good mile away from the location that her phone began to light up with notifications. Like, a lot of notifications. A similar thing had happened the day before, but this felt like a lot more, so she pulled over, just to glance over it all and make sure nothing required her immediate attention.

Several of the messages were just from various apps, but there were multiple texts from Tori, three missed calls (two from Tori, one from Holly), and a voicemail.

 _Shit._ It all gave Jade a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

**  
We just got a call that they took Grandma to the hospital**

**I know you're working, just wanted to keep you posted  
  
**

**Still waiting to find out what's happening**

**I guess she fell?**

**Not sure on details  
  
**

**They’re sending her for surgery**

  
There were a few more messages like that, of Tori obviously waiting for news and just wanting to loop Jade in. _Fuck_. Why had this been the day she had to work in the middle of nowhere? She hit the voicemail icon and tapped the message from Tori.

"Hey, um...we're at..." The words were digitally garbled for a moment. "...waiting to find out if the procedure worked or...they said she had a stroke...I don't know." Tori sounded exhausted. "Just...call me when you get this. I know it'll be later. I just...I don't know. Hope it's going well. Bye."

Jade hit the button to call Tori back and pulled away from the road shoulder, feeling the urgency to get back into the city. Tori's phone went straight to voicemail.

"Hey, Tori. We just wrapped, I just saw everything, um...but I don't know where you are? Let me know, I'll be there as soon as I can."

There was no way to know which hospital they'd gone to. She supposed she could call Elderly Acres, but would they even disclose something like that to a non-family member? Also, the text messages had been from earlier that afternoon and the voicemail from over an hour ago. She voice dialed the Vega house, but no one answered. She tried Holly's number, but it just rang through.

She dialed Tori again and was routed back to the voicemail box. "So, I'm going home. Just to clean up and stuff, then I'll wait for you to get back to me. Or, I'll be there when you get home. Whatever. Tell Grandma Jean I'll see her soon, okay?" It felt like there was more to offer, but Jade wasn't sure just what that would be. "Guess I'll see you soon, too."

When Jade pulled up to the house, she'd hoped that maybe she'd see Tori's car in the driveway, but it wasn't there. She hauled her camera bag inside and took a record-breaking shower, not wanting to miss a call back or text. But after she toweled off and checked her PearPhone, there was still nothing new. Jade dressed in preparation to go back out, just in case. Then she waited. Watching TV didn't feel right, so she just poked around online, looking up the various hospitals close to Elderly Acres, wondering how outrageous of an idea it would be to just start driving around to each one.

She'd been home for about an hour when she heard the creak of the gate to the patio. Quickly, she shot up from the sofa and pulled open the front door just as Tori was poised to knock on it.

"Hey," Jade said, immediately. Tori looked... _lost_. Her eyes were red, she'd obviously been crying, and her whole body sagged as she stood in the doorway. Instinctively, Jade slipped her arms around her and, as soon as she did, Tori just wrapped herself up in Jade, shaking in a way that Jade could tell she was silently sobbing.

This...didn't seem good.

They just stood there in the doorframe, Jade hugging her tightly as Tori sobbed, until finally, she calmed down and mumbled. "I want to wash my face."

"Come on," Jade said, softly, leading her inside. Tori broke away, tossed her keys and phone on the kitchen counter, and shuffled toward the bathroom where she splashed water on her face, then patted it dry with the hand towel that hung next to the sink. As she came back into the living room space, Jade began to ask, "Do you want to talk--"

"She didn't make it," was all Tori said, staring at one of Jade's framed butterfly collections that now hung on the wall in the short hallway. They stood in silence, Tori just awkwardly focused on objects around the room while Jade waited for any indication of what to say or do next. Maybe they needed to get out of the house.

"Wanna take a walk?" Jade offered. When Tori nodded, she immediately grabbed her keys off the upper tier of the spanking bench by the door and reached for Tori's arm, gently guiding her out of the space and onto the patio. She locked up and led them out the gate to the sidewalk, choosing a direction and just walking. It wasn't long before Tori was tucked up under Jade's arm as they just moved down the block in the mild September evening air. They looped around Tori's neighborhood (Jade supposed it was her neighborhood, too) where families were out in their yards or garages, enjoying the weather as the sun dipped low in the sky.

Eventually, they stopped in front of the liquor store Jade had visited a few times since moving in. There was an older man (the owner, Jade thought) working the counter who gave them a slight wave as Tori walked, with purpose, to the beer fridge in the back, immediately grabbing a six pack of Bud Light Lime, then putting it back in exchange for a twelve pack.

Okay, so this was where their night was headed.

Tori hauled the case to the register and the man behind it smiled at her.

"Ah! Good to see you!"

Tori smiled sadly at him. "Hey, Ricardo." Then she realized something. "I didn't bring my wallet or my phone," she said to Jade.

"It's okay, I can do PearPay," Jade replied, already digging her phone out of her pocket.

"These for Jean?" asked Ricardo.

Tori was quiet, so Jade stepped in. "In a way."

Ricardo looked from Jade to Tori, who was now staring at a display of lighters, and quickly picked up the implication. "Oh. Oh no," he said. As Jade lifted her phone to bump against the pay screen, he placed his hand in front of it. "Please. It's on me. For Jean."

Jade nodded, shoving her phone back in her jeans pocket. "Thank you." She grabbed the case of beer with one hand and Tori's elbow with the other. As soon as they were back on the sidewalk, Tori grabbed at the cardboard case and tore it open, pulling out a can and popping the tab. "You...don't want to wait until we get back?" Jade asked, carefully.

Tori finished a gulp of the drink. "It's three blocks."

"It's an open container violation." Jade didn't actually think there would be much of a chance of anything happening, but this was unlike Tori to be so brazen about possible citations.

"So they can fucking ticket me."

All right. There was no arguing with Tori in a state like this. Not that Jade had ever dealt with Tori _like this_. But she did know that once the other woman resolved herself to a specific headspace, it was difficult to change it. Something Tori had probably (definitely) had to work with plenty of times when it came to Jade, in the past.

By the time they made it back to the yard, Tori had finished her first Bud Light Lime and was opening a second one, tossing the empty can onto the grass. She took a long drink, then dropped herself onto the lawn, just sitting and sipping the beer.

Jade grabbed the blanket Tori kept on the patio and spread it out on the grass. "At least come sit down on this," she said. Tori didn't move. _Fine_. Jade settled herself onto the blanket and placed the case of beer next to her. "Well, if you want more, you'll have to come over here." She cracked open her own can and began to drink. Now that they were back in the confines of the yard, Jade felt like she could allow herself to process the sadness she'd kept tamped down while just trying to keep Tori upright and moving during their walk. At least during the first half. The stretch back from the liquor store had mostly been Jade trying to keep up with Tori while she drank and weaved along the sidewalk.

There was a crunching sound as Tori crushed the second can and tossed it over her shoulder. Out of necessity, she crawled over to the blanket and retrieved beer number three. Jade knew there was no sense in trying to regulate what was happening. Tori was a grown up. And she was devastated. So was Jade, really. They'd _just been_ to Elderly Acres to see Grandma Jean. Jade had watched the woman grab a handful of condoms from Tori's supply. They'd had a lively discussion about William Castle versus Eli Roth. There had been no reason to think that anything like this could happen.

But it had.

And now Tori was on her way to getting wasted.

"How was your thing today?" Tori asked, sounding more lucid than Jade expected, considering this was a lightweight who'd just slammed two beers and was working on a third.

"It was fine. We don't have to talk about it th--"

"I asked because I wanted to know," Tori interrupted.

Fair point. Jade drank down more of her own beer, trying to catch up. Or at least not be totally sober. "I had fun. Music videos are always different. I like the chance to try new ideas when I can. Especially when I can just focus on the camera work." Okay, one down. She reached for a second.

"Good." Tori leaned against Jade, both of their arms braced on the ground between them. There was quiet for a minute, but then, "You need to make another movie."

"Well, I need money to do that."

" _Bullshit_. You used to make movies all the time without money. I’ve seen them, remember?"

Oh, she remembered. She remembered the way Tori would lean over the laptop whenever Jade would reveal to her another one of her projects. Meanwhile, Jade would watch her to see if she reacted in all the right places. After every single one, she looked forward to Tori’s review, to know if she liked it or not. Which was telling because Jade never particularly cared if people _liked_ her films, in a traditional sense. She just wanted to make people _experience_ them. But Tori? She’d cared what Tori thought. "Yeah, like stupid little shorts." Jade was at the bottom of her second beer. Did she need to stay sober-ish?

"Hey!" Tori's tone was intense. Also, maybe the beer was starting to settle in. "They _weren't_ stupid, they were _good_. Don't act like you don't know that."

She wasn’t wrong. Jade had been proud of herself for her early work, even if she’d made them on microscopic budgets and used a wheelchair as a camera dolly. Whatever, she needed to drink more if she wanted to catch up to Tori. Number three. "I just mean, I've learned a lot since then. Like, you know, _all_ of film school."

"Then it should be even easy...easier." Yeah, okay, Tori was well on her way to drunk. And she was still drinking.

"You want me to get you some water or something?" Jade considered it would probably be a wise idea, but Tori grabbed her arm.

"No, just stay."

"Lemme see this," Jade said, taking the beer can from Tori. There wasn't much resistance, so Jade quickly downed what was inside and tossed the can away.

"Tryin' to keep me from getting too drunk?" Tori asked.

"Trying to prevent the inevitable hangover tomorrow."

Tori hummed and sighed. "I guess I could wait a minute before the next one."

"How about five minutes?" Jade proposed, checking the time on her phone.

"You're still drinking," Tori pointed out.

So, Jade chugged the remainder of her own beer, too. "Not anymore." The can made a dull _clink_ as it hit the fence.

She felt Tori shift, her arms sliding around Jade from the side, her head resting on Jade's shoulder. There was quiet for a bit, then the shaky inhale of Tori fighting tears, again. Jade just held her, pulled her arms more tightly around her, blinking back her own set of tears welling in her eyes. She could feel Tori's glasses digging into her neck, so she reached up and gently pulled them off, deciding the safest place for them was in the beer case, on top of the other cans. This allowed for Tori to press herself even more tightly against Jade, face against her neck, warm breath moving across her skin.

"Do you want to go inside?" Jade quietly asked. But Tori shook her head, her hand coming up to grab a fistful of the front of Jade's shirt with a very clear message. _Stay here_. So, Jade sat, trying to maintain some sense of grounding through her haze of three and a half quickly consumed beers. There was still the tickling sensation with every exhale from Tori moving just under her jaw. And then there was the pressure of lips below her ear. Then on her cheek. "Tori," she said, softly. Then at the corner of her mouth. And then Tori was kissing her, gentle but needy, and Jade couldn't help but kiss back. At least for a moment, then she pulled away, searching Tori's eyes. "Whoa, okay. What's happening?" She knew Tori was probably drunk enough to make a decision she could easily regret in the morning.

But there was also clarity in her response. "I just don't want to be alone, right now."

There really wasn't any way to argue against that. Not that Jade wanted to. "Oh," was all she said, before allowing Tori to fall against her, once again, to press another round of kisses to Jade's lips, the taste of cheap beer and lime on her tongue.

Tori still had Jade's shirt bunched up in her hand, and Jade felt the moment things went off balance, as Tori leaned back onto the blanket, tugging Jade along with her, pulling her on top of her and wrapping her arms around her. Even as Jade caught her balance next to Tori on the blanket, they didn’t stop kissing, and Jade felt her body cover Tori’s, fitting together comfortably, the memory of each other guiding the way their legs entangled. Tori’s fingers on her back dug firm into her skin through her shirt, her arms holding fast. Not that Jade was going anywhere, anyway. Whatever Tori needed, she wanted to do, not least because this was what she needed, too. Something other than grief, something grounding, something _alive_.

And Tori was alive beneath her, mouth warm, tears gone now, and Jade realized she’d been grinding her hips down onto Tori, and Tori had responded in kind, building a familiar rhythm between them. She felt a puff of air against her jaw, an exhale, as Tori moaned softly, kissing the area before immediately reconnecting their lips. Jade settled her weight more fully on one arm, her other hand finding Tori’s shoulder, seeking another point of connection between them.

Tori’s hand immediately grabbed Jade’s, and guided it down her body, settling it between her legs, over her jeans. Jade’s breath caught at the boldness of the action, but it turned into a whimper, because touching Tori sounded like exactly what they _both_ needed right now. Jade rolled off to the side a little, fumbling at the button on Tori’s fly, and she felt Tori immediately turning toward her, hand at Jade’s pants as well. Jade felt her whole body warm, and they pulled apart just enough to take a moment to open their own pants, skipping the fumbling, communicating their mutual need. And then Tori was pulling Jade closer to her again, kissing her and pulling her on top of her, but with enough space between their bodies this time for their hands.

Jade focused on Tori, already feeling Tori’s hand slipping into her pants. She moaned against Tori’s lips, balancing on her right arm, her left sliding down Tori’s stomach, angling itself down to touch Tori, fingers gliding over wetness. She felt Tori’s sharp inhale, felt her mouth seeking Jade’s with even more eagerness, desperation, tongue flicking messily over Jade’s bottom lip. Jade returned the kisses hungrily, feeling the way Tori’s fingers probed and pressed lower, wrist flexing against the fabric of Jade’s pants. Jade followed her lead, her two middle fingers sliding inside of Tori in almost the same moment she felt Tori fill her.

They broke their kiss, just for a moment, foreheads pressed together, breathing, before crashing together again, fingers curling, pumping deeper. Jade was only aware of the warmth of Tori, her breath, the smell of her perfume beneath the layers of beer and grass and earth, the soft lips against her own, how wet she was, the way she moved. That Tori was vividly, vitally _alive_. That they _both_ were, and that they were together, seeking comfort the only way that made sense.

Despite Jade feeling clumsy with her left hand, it didn’t take long before Tori broke beneath her, crying out against her mouth, hips rolling up against the heel of Jade’s hand, shaking hard. Jade squeezed her eyes shut and followed without any thought, feeling everything rush over her skin and through her flesh like fire, scorching her to the bone, leaving only the satisfied ember in her heart of doing and being what Tori needed, as they both sought desperately to cling to the cold reality of life in the wake of loss.

Jade rolled off of Tori, arm wrapping around her to bring Tori with her, pulling her on top of her. Tori buried her face back in Jade’s neck, already shaking with tears again, one hand clinging to her, leg wrapping around her, refusing to let go. Jade reached over for the edge of their blanket, dragging it over and around them, as they cried and comforted each other under the night sky.

It started raining.

_Wait._

Jade blinked, groggy and stiff, from lying on the ground. She must've fallen asleep. But water kept definitely hitting her in the face. It was still dark out. She was still outside. _Where was Tori_?

She stood up, using the blanket to cover her head, but water still kept hitting her? What the _fuck_ what going on? As her eyes focused in the light of the back patio, she realized the sprinklers were spraying her. What the hell time was it? Quickly, she escaped the range of the sprinkler as she rushed to the covered part of the patio where Tori sat atop the picnic table.

"Tried to wake you up," Tori said, voice gravelly. "But you still sleep like a rock."

"Why are you still out here?" Jade asked.

"My keys are on your counter."

 _Oh_. Yeah, okay. Jade went to pull her keys out of her pocket (also noting her jeans were still unbuttoned) but...they weren't there. She looked back at the yard, which was misty under the spray of multiple sprinkler heads. "Why do you water the grass in the middle of the night?"

"It's California drought compliant," Tori robotically rattled off. Any other time, Jade would have called out the nerdiness of the statement, but that wasn’t a priority at the moment.

"Of course it is," Jade mumbled. Using the blanket now as a shield between herself and the water, she peered into the grass for her keys. On top of all of this, she had to pee.

Tori watched her search, then said, "I think my glasses are somewhere."

Jade knew she'd done something with them, but what? She eyed the case of beer. That's right. She grabbed it, but the now-soggy cardboard easily ripped in her hand, slipping beer cans all over the ground. Luckily, Tori's glasses didn't seem to be damaged. And one of the cans clanked against the house keys near Jade's feet. _Found 'em_.

"Here," she said, handing Tori the water-spotted glasses. By now, the blanket was drenched and useless, so Jade spread it across the picnic bench to dry out. She twisted her key in the lock and opened the door. Tori wandered inside, not seeming to be in a hurry to retrieve her keys. "Just, lie down," Jade patted the back of the sofa. "I'll be back in a minute." Tori nodded, at least confirming she'd heard her.

Quickly, Jade excused herself to the bathroom, taking care of business and also peeling off her soaked jeans and shirt. She threw on her bathrobe and stepped back out into the living room, but Tori wasn't on the couch.

Instead, she was sprawled out on Jade's bed, sound asleep. All right. Jade climbed up next to her and wrapped around her body, holding her as securely as she could. She wanted to offer comfort as much as she also needed it. All of this would look different in the light of day, but right now she was only concerned about the slow rhythm of Tori's breathing and matching it with her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _One Last Time_ by Ariana Grande.
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> A text pushed through and Jade picked up the phone. "Your dad said Trina's driving in from Vegas. She left earlier this morning, so she should be almost here. And then you're supposed to help your mom with the arrangements. I guess notifying people and stuff." She set her PearPhone back down. "And, I'll do whatever you need, obviously. I have one shoot tomorrow morning, but I can reschedule--"
> 
> "You don't need to," Tori interrupted. "Change anything, I mean. Do the shoot. It'll only be a couple of hours, right?" She knew Jade usually tended to throw herself into her work when she was upset. 
> 
> "You're sure?"
> 
> She nodded. "I don't even know what Mom needs us to do, to be honest."
> 
> "I assume you'll meet with the funeral director and depending on what Grandma Jean has already prepared, you go from there. Most people her age have a pretty thorough plan for this stuff." Jade pushed out a sad laugh. "Who knew my weird teen obsession with funeral homes would pay off." She looked away, obviously processing her own grief in all of this.
> 
> Tori reached for her, placing her hand over Jade's atop the kitchen island. There was a long, shaky sigh from Jade as she leaned into Tori, the force of each other holding them both up.
> 
> Eventually, Jade cleared the dishes while Tori put on her shoes and gathered what she needed before they headed to meet her family at the house. Taking her place in the passenger seat of Jade's old car unleashed a flood of memories: a thousand trips through the Jet Brew drive-thru, the cups of ground coffee Jade had placed in the cup holders to rid the car of squid odor, Jade asking Tori to be her girlfriend in the most off-hand but also romantic way. A lot had happened in the front seat of this old Buick. A lot more had happened in the backseat. She let the nostalgia carry her for most of the drive from the valley up into the hills, as it was more pleasant than the reality of the present.


	10. Seven: And in the morning I'll be with you, But it will be a different kind

When Tori woke up, the first thing she realized was that she was sleeping in her clothes. The second was that someone was in bed with her. And, third, she wasn't in her own bed.

As she sat up, she quickly (though painfully, through the hangover headache) remembered drinking, crying, and... _fucking_ in the yard. She didn't regret it, but she also didn't know what was going to happen because of it. Would Jade be weird about it? Tori had gotten accustomed to sex outside of relationships, but that was different than this. It was always different with Jade. Did it even really matter? There wasn't really room for any of that, not with everything else in her brain reminding her of why any of it had happened.

And then a fourth realization hit her.

_Grandma Jean was gone._

Next to her, Jade groaned and buried her face against her pillow. Her hand reached for Tori's then, after a beat, she pulled away from the pillow and looked at Tori through squinted eyes, as if realizing she was actually there.

"Hey," Jade said, voice rough with sleep. She slowly rose up, blinking as she steadied her gaze on Tori. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," Tori replied.

"You want some coffee?" Jade asked, sliding off the bed.

Tori wanted to just lie back down and sleep for ten more hours, but she knew she was supposed to meet her family later that morning. "I guess." She remained on the bed, considering the previous twenty-four hours: getting the call to go to the hospital, trying to get ahold of Jade because she knew she'd want to be there for Grandma Jean, hearing the doctor explain about the possibility of a stroke, wondering if Jade would ever get back to her, watching her mom cry against her dad's shoulder in the corner of the stark hospital room, finally listening to Jade's voicemail and just wanting to go home, the walk to the liquor store, the beer, the security of Jade next to her, on top of her, inside of her.

And now Jade was making coffee for her. As Tori looked out into the kitchen space from the bedroom nook, she could see Jade texting someone. Or at least using her phone. Finally, the coffee was ready and Jade approached with a mug in each hand. Tori took hers, sipping the drink and willing away the pain in her head.

"Your dad says we’re meeting at eleven at the house. So," she sat on the edge of the bed. "You should take a shower, we'll have some breakfast, and I'll drive us."

"You don't have to--"

"Shower, breakfast, family at eleven," Jade repeated.

All right, understood. Tori didn't think she could drive herself anywhere, anyway. "Yeah, okay." She finally eased up off the bed and took a few shaky steps before finding her bearings. Her keys and glasses were on the counter, next to her drained PearPhone. She hoped her mom hadn't tried to call. Or, well...Jade had talked to someone at the house, so...

"We're having breakfast in twenty minutes," Jade decided as Tori reached for the door.

Tori felt like she nodded, though she didn't say anything. She let herself into her house and dropped her phone on the rapid charger in her bedroom. As her clothes came off, she recalled Jade tugging at the button on her jeans, which took her straight to the memory of them having sex on the lawn, which jarringly shoved her into a memory of her grandmother bragging about her late-in-life sexual exploits.

How could Grandma Jean's antics just suddenly be over?

It felt like Tori had only been standing in the shower for two minutes when Jade was knocking on the bathroom door before easing it open, just enough to say, "Come on, it's time for breakfast."

Tori finished washing, then wrapped herself in a towel as she moved into the bedroom. Jade wasn't in the room, but there were clean clothes laid out on the bed, which she mechanically put on. Once she was dressed, she combed out her hair, not really caring to do much else with it. She guessed she was supposed to meet Jade in the living room, so she picked up her sneakers and carried them down the hall.

She could smell something cooking and, as she rounded the corner to the kitchen, there was Jade dishing scrambled eggs onto a plate alongside a slice of toast. Hangover breakfast. Kind of.

"I was going to make bacon, but all you have is some weird meatless kind and I wasn't sure how to cook it," Jade admitted. There were two places set at the kitchen counter, so Tori dropped her shoes on the floor and climbed onto one of the barstools.

"This is plenty, thanks." Tori wasn't sure how much she could eat, but she knew she needed to, if anything to help push away the dull headache that still throbbed behind her eyes.

Jade joined her, playing random videos on her phone to drown out the eating sounds. And, honestly, Tori was fine with having something to look at that could distract her for a few minutes.

A text pushed through and Jade picked up the phone. "Your dad said Trina's driving in from Vegas. She left earlier this morning, so she should be almost here. And then you're supposed to help your mom with the arrangements. I guess notifying people and stuff." She set her PearPhone back down. "And, I'll do whatever you need, obviously. I have one shoot tomorrow morning, but I can reschedule--"

"You don't need to," Tori interrupted. "Change anything, I mean. Do the shoot. It'll only be a couple of hours, right?" She knew Jade usually tended to throw herself into her work when she was upset.

"You're sure?"

She nodded. "I don't even know what Mom needs us to do, to be honest."

"I assume you'll meet with the funeral director and depending on what Grandma Jean has already prepared, you go from there. Most people her age have a pretty thorough plan for this stuff." Jade pushed out a sad laugh. "Who knew my weird teen obsession with funeral homes would pay off." She looked away, obviously processing her own grief in all of this.

Tori reached for her, placing her hand over Jade's atop the kitchen island. There was a long, shaky sigh from Jade as she leaned into Tori, the force of each other holding them both up.

Eventually, Jade cleared the dishes while Tori put on her shoes and gathered what she needed before they headed to meet her family at the house. Taking her place in the passenger seat of Jade's old car unleashed a flood of memories: a thousand trips through the Jet Brew drive-thru, the cups of ground coffee Jade had placed in the cup holders to rid the car of squid odor, Jade asking Tori to be her girlfriend in the most off-hand but also romantic way. A lot had happened in the front seat of this old Buick. A lot more had happened in the backseat. She let the nostalgia carry her for most of the drive from the valley up into the hills, as it was more pleasant than the reality of the present.

When Jade pulled into the driveway, it was apparent that Tori wasn't the only one caught up in what used to be, because there came a moment when they both reached to unbuckle their seatbelts and they were faced with each other, six inches between them feeling like nothing at all but also an impossible distance. Tori considered the events of the previous night and what they meant, if anything. They were both grieving and they were both accessible to each other. Whatever was happening likely wasn't more than that. They'd been successful, so far, with their friendship and it didn't seem worth jeopardizing that. Especially now that Tori knew just how hurt Jade had been by their break up. Even with the passage of time, it wasn't something she was eager to revisit.

Still, there was something about Jade's eyes drifting over her face, lingering on her lips. Tori was doing the same, a little lost in the reflection of time. But also more than a little needy for more contact, the kind Jade was so good at giving and, if she was reading things correctly, seemed to be offering now.

But it was a bad idea.

_Wasn't it?_

Did it matter?

And then Tori practically had a heart attack when someone thumped on the window.

_Trina._

As Jade faced forward to pull her keys from the ignition and Tori groped for her purse on the floor, she considered that for once, maybe, her sister had interrupted at just the right time.

She and Jade stepped out of the car, Trina standing impatiently nearby. She gave Tori a hard look, eyes flicking between her and Jade, but then seemed to deflate, and offered Tori a hug. Tori wrapped her arms around her sister, but it stayed brief, and then Trina and Jade shared another brief hug. No one said anything in the moment, just acknowledged their shared loss in silence, and then Trina led the way up the driveway and into their parents’ house.

A lot of the morning was lost in a blur of teary faces and lingering hugs with her family. Her dad had brewed coffee, which everyone was now drinking and, judging by the bags under everyone else’s eyes, Tori wasn’t the only one who hadn’t slept well.

Jade stayed close to her, as much a part of Grandma Jean’s family as anyone else in the house, but also clearly expressing that she was there for whatever Tori needed. Tori appreciated it; she could tell that Jade was focusing on her probably as a productive outlet for her own grief. She just didn’t want it to get in the way of Jade’s own processing. So, when her dad asked Jade to come along with him to pick up lunch while her mom called her Aunt Sonya on the phone so the Vega women could begin planning, Tori let her go with a brief squeeze of her hand and a wan smile.

-

Jade was holding steady, the reality of everything having processed, though probably not the full impact of it. Her mantra, as it were, was: _Get Tori through this_.

But here, in David’s SUV (a newer version of the one he’d driven when Jade was in high school and college; David was nothing if not practical), there was an opportunity for something like a diversion.

David himself seemed keen to take it, “I heard you might be staying in town for a while. Settling in okay in the guest house?” His tone was subdued, his voice sounding as exhausted as Jade felt, but she also knew it was a genuine question, not just filling the silence.

“Yeah. It’s been really nice having my own space. And Tori makes a pretty good landlord.”

David nodded, “I take it that means everything’s going well between you two?”

“Yeah, we’re...friends,” she was certain David noticed the hesitation--he was a former police lieutenant, after all--but the word hadn’t felt so difficult to say in over a decade. Her chest tightened with the memory of drunk sex on a blanket on the lawn, of yanking the parking brake in Tori’s driveway and feeling that ancient pull, the center console of her old car a familiar boundary they had crossed too many times to count.

David cast her the briefest glance, “Trina had a lot to say about the two of you being neighbors, so I just thought I’d check in.”

Jade groaned, “Trina needs to mind her business.”

“If she could do that, she wouldn’t be Trina,” David chuckled.

“True,” Jade said, wondering what, exactly, Trina had told her parents. “But no, things are good. Especially since she finally told me all about her work.”

“Ah,” David shifted slightly, “So you know about all of it, then?”

“Yeah. Got the whole tour of her workspace. Aaaand, I’m realizing you probably don’t want to hear about any of it.”

“Not particularly. What do you think about it all?”

“Honestly? I think Tori’s a genius. The way she uses her tech, especially.” She hesitated, realizing she should tread lightly in her discussion of this with Tori’s dad, but also, she’d been thinking about this for a while. “I’m really fascinated with that end of it, especially. The tech part, the virtual reality.”

“That’s because it’s what you’re passionate about. You think like a filmmaker when you see her work,” David said simply, “Have you worked with that kind of camera before?”

“No,” Jade replied, “But I keep thinking about how I would use it to film something, if I had access to it. Like, how I could make it look better than a lot of what I see out there.”

David glanced at her, “What do you mean, if you have access to it? Have you told Tori you want to film something?”

“No, but I don’t want to step on any toes,” Jade admitted.

“Talk to her,” David said directly, “I think she’d be thrilled to help you.”

Jade felt a wry smile tug at her lips. David made it sound so simple.

They picked up their order of pizza and salad from the restaurant, and on the way back, Jade asked, “How’s your security business going?”

“It’s going really well,” David replied, “But I take it you don’t want to hear about finances and contracts.”

Jade managed a chuckle, “Nope, I don’t.”

She spent the ride back in contented distraction as David told her stories about the craziest stalkers he’d protected celebrities from and celebrity family members misbehaving in extreme ways. When they got back to the house, David opened the door for Jade, who was still carrying the food, and she walked in to Tori and Trina bickering across the kitchen table from each other, with Holly sitting in front of her PearBook, holding her PearPhone and looking exasperated.

“ _I_ should write it!” Tori said, her tone passionate but everything else about her exhausted.

“No, _I_ should write it, because I’m going to perform it!” Trina insisted.

“ _Perform_? Trina, it’s a _eulogy_ , it’s not a monologue, and if anyone should read it, it should be _me_!”

“ _Why_? Because you’re a _former_ television actor? Well, so am I!”

Jade exchanged a glance with David, briefly, before Holly shouted, “Girls!” She rubbed her forehead, briefly, as Tori and Trina fell silent, glowering at each other, but without any real heat, only frustration. “ _Jade_ will write the obituary and the eulogy,” Holly announced, meeting Jade’s eyes. “Is that alright with you?” she asked.

“Of course,” Jade said, feeling belatedly flattered and honored. She walked over and set down their lunch on the kitchen counter, still watching the Vega women at the table. Tori was smiling at this development, and Trina nodded her acceptance.

“ _And_ ,” Holly continued, before the sisters could go at each other again, “She was _my_ mother, so I’ll be reading the eulogy,” she declared with finality, blinking rapidly. She turned her attention to the PearPhone. “Sonya, you can read those poems she selected, right?”

“Yes, I can read them,” Jade heard the tired, tinny voice of Tori’s aunt through the speakerphone.

Someone had brewed even more coffee, so Jade refilled her mug and set it next to where Tori was sitting. In spite of the fact that pizza had arrived, and Holly had hung up with her sister so they could take a break to eat, only Trina had gotten up to serve herself some, while Tori still sat, looking at something on Holly’s PearBook screen. Jade picked up two plates and placed some salad and pizza on both of them, bringing one to Tori and one for herself, while David did the same for Holly. As they ate, Holly, Tori and Trina were discussing logistics that Jade’s tired brain couldn’t quite make sense of without the context of whatever they were looking at on Holly’s screen. She could tell, though, that Tori was flagging.

After they finished lunch, Jade took Tori’s plate and loaded it into the dishwasher. Food seemed to have the effect of draining everyone rather than energizing them, so Holly closed her PearBook and moved to the couch, signaling that it was time to take a break. Tori slumped against the dining room table, resting her head against her hand.

“Come on,” Jade said, tugging gently at Tori’s arm.

“Where are we going?” Tori mumbled.

“Upstairs. You need to lie down for a while,” Jade looked briefly at Holly, who nodded.

Tori followed Jade upstairs to her old bedroom. Jade knew it was considered the guest room now, and that Trina’s old room had been turned into a home gym, but she hadn’t actually been in it since she was in college.

She was surprised by how much was the same. The room still had Tori’s bed, dresser, and desk from high school, in roughly the same positions as always, but an additional dresser and desk had also been squeezed into the space--presumably the ones that used to be in Trina’s room. Some of what appeared to be Tori’s old belongings were left in a few spaces around the room--her old cork board, with a few movie ticket stubs still stuck into the frame. A few stacks of books left haphazardly on different levels of the bookshelf, mostly looking like young adult literature and a couple of books Jade thought she remembered from high school English class. A couple of familiar framed photos still hung on the wall.

Even the bedspread on Tori’s bed looked familiar, as did the body pillow that lay across the top of the bed among the other pillows. Tori stepped into the room and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, taking off her glasses, then pushing the body pillow away from the others and slowly stretching out on her old bed.

Jade walked over and sat on the other side of the bed--what had been _her_ side, back when they’d shared this bed. “Don’t you want your body pillow?” she asked, nudging it toward Tori.

Tori recoiled, “Oh, god, no. Put that in the closet.”

Jade arched an eyebrow, but she picked it up and took it over to the closet, which was full of old clothes and boxes. Clearly, Tori still had to go through some stuff from high school and college, much like Jade had recently had to do. “I was just asking,” Jade said lightly, shoving the body pillow in among the clutter. “You sleep with one at home.”

“No, I don’t,” Tori replied.

Jade laughed, circling the bed to sit down on her side again. “Then what is it doing on your bed?” To her surprise, Tori blushed. Jade eyed her, “Okay, if you’re not cuddling it...why do you have one?”

Tori covered her face with her hand for a moment, “I...uh.” She paused, and Jade waited for some kind of reason to sink in, but her mind was blank. “I...use it to masturbate,” Tori finally said, very quickly.

Jade stared, certain she’d heard wrong, “You _what_?”

“Like...for grinding on,” Tori mumbled, turning her face away from Jade entirely.

“Oh my god,” Jade kept staring, “I just threw your old _sex toy_ in the closet?!” she hissed.

“ _Jade_ ,” Tori hissed back, but she was already laughing, “It’s clean...probably.”

“ _Probably_?!” Jade cried out, “Oh my god. You sleep with a giant masturbatory aid at home. _I thought you spooned with it_!”

“Well...kind of,” Tori snickered.

“ _Tori_!” Jade gasped, but she was laughing, too. She flopped down on the other side of the bed, realizing that she was pretty exhausted, too.

There was a palpable hesitation between them, like Tori wanted to move closer, but didn’t know if she should. Jade stretched out her arm, inviting her to rest her head on her shoulder. Jade held her, staring at the ceiling for a moment, then closed her eyes. “Jade?” Tori murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for...being here. You’re a hell of a friend.”

Something in her chest ached. She rubbed Tori’s arm briefly. “Right now, I’m family.”

It was the best response she could muster.

-

Tori hadn't expected to actually sleep when she laid down with Jade, but when she glanced at the clock on the nightstand it became clear that thirty minutes or so had passed. She was still tucked up against Jade's shoulder, Tori's arm draped across Jade's stomach, listening to the slow and steady breath of someone who could sleep through a hurricane.

There were footsteps out in the hall, the door to the bedroom partially shut, but not closed. She heard her mom's voice and the creak of the door, but before it would open fully, there was Trina's voice, asking some mundane question. Tori just wanted a little more quiet, a little more time to not have to think about arrangements and relatives and what font to choose for memorial cards, so she kept her eyes closed and considered the possibility of being left alone for a few more minutes.

"Are they in there?" she heard Trina ask, then it was clear the door opened further. "Ugh, Mom, you can't be okay with this."

"You need to leave them alone," Holly replied, her voice quiet, but stern.

"They're being so stupid."

"They're adults."

"Yeah, but you know as well as I do that this isn't a good idea. Someone's going to get hurt."

"Tori's a grown up," was the repeated sentiment.

Trina scoffed. "I'm not talking about Tori."

That was certainly a blow. One she knew she'd earned.

Was her sister right? Was this closeness a mistake? Or was it the right thing for them both, right now? It seemed that Jade needed comfort just as much as she did.

“Trina,” her mother’s exhaustion was evident as she snapped at Trina, “you need to _mind your own business_ and leave them alone.”

It seemed to work, because the door clicked shut and there was no more conversation. Tori peeked her eyes open, half expecting her sister to be standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed in disapproval. But she wasn't there. It was just Tori and Jade, on Tori's old bed, in Tori's old room, Jade's arm looped around her as they laid together trying to avoid the reality of the moment.

There was a shift in the body underneath her, a light groan from Jade as she nudged for Tori to turn and roll the other direction. Which she did, because this was clear unspoken communication they'd perfected years ago. She switched sides, now resting her head on the pillow tucked under her head, Jade's other arm now draped over Tori, her warm body spooning her, breasts against her back, knees tucked up under the backs of Tori's thighs. They fit together as they always had.

Tori didn't know if that was good or not.

They needed to talk.

After the funeral.

Because for the next few days, she didn't think either of them would make it without the other to hold onto.

-

After they all recharged for a little while, it was time for a trip to the funeral home. Despite her teenage fascination with everything to do with death and dying, Jade had never actually been inside of one. Everything else about this situation sucked, but Jade was actually a little bit eager to finally see what it was like.

It turned out to be more boring than she expected, mostly looking like someone’s dour, old-fashioned living room. She knew that any other time she would’ve had a million questions, would’ve tried to find a way to see where they prepared the bodies for burial. But instead, she only stood next to Tori, vaguely listening as Holly, David, and Aunt Sonya (on speakerphone) did most of the talking to the funeral director, her eyes being drawn to the flower arrangements and artwork that gave the space its solemn but dry atmosphere. She had expected something more grim, but she supposed it was welcoming, in its own way.

She listened enough to understand that Grandma Jean wanted to be cremated, that there was already a plot available for her remains to be buried with her late husband, that she’d already purchased the plaque that would be added to the wall in the cremation urn garden where she’d be buried. They would have the wake at the funeral home on Saturday night, and the funeral was going to be at the chapel at Elderly Acres on Sunday.

And then, it was time to head home, because Jade had an obituary and a eulogy to write. Holly had emailed her all of Grandma Jean’s biographical information that had been compiled while she was alive, as well as memories and impressions she, Aunt Sonya, Tori, and Trina had thought up that morning, giving Jade a lot to work with, in addition to what she knew of the woman.

Jade drove them home. The car was quiet, just the radio playing quietly, Tori singing along softly in certain moments. Jade would glance at her at stoplights, often receiving a grateful smile in return. Tori was clearly still absorbed in her grief, but she wasn’t the hungover automaton from that morning who could barely function. A little bit of her was coming back as the day went on, as she and her family handled the mundane details that surrounded death.

Not that Jade knew anything about that. She knew Tori’s other grandparents had died, Grandma Jean’s husband when Tori was a baby, and David’s parents when she was a little older, but Jade had never lost a family member before. At least not to death; essentially losing her father in the divorce wasn’t even close to the same, not least because she didn’t miss him.

But she couldn’t think about that, because she had writing to do. Jade began to script out what she would write in her head as she drove in the quiet car. When they got home, they exited the car and lingered in the driveway for a moment.

“Alright,” Tori said heavily, “I guess I need to try to make sure everyone who needs to know is notified about the funeral and everything.” She had a list from her mom of people to call, or email, or otherwise contact.

“And I’d better get writing,” Jade replied, “Let me know if you need anything.”

Tori nodded, hand lifting to awkwardly grip Jade’s shoulder for a moment, an expression of strange gratitude, and then she turned to go into her house. Jade walked through the gate, going into her guest house.

She really needed to get a desk. She thought about the old one in Tori’s room. Maybe she’d ask if she could have it. But for now, she sat on the couch with her PearBook, opened her email, and started writing.

The obituary was first, and easiest. The template was relatively simple, and Jade had read enough of them as a morbid teenager that she didn’t need much of a guide, though she consulted one anyway, just to be sure she didn’t miss anything crucial. She did what she could to put personal touches in it, both her own command of language and specific details to honor Grandma Jean and her family. She sent that off to Holly as soon as it was finished so she could approve it and send it to the funeral home and to any media that would publish it.

The eulogy...was harder. Some of the beginning read a lot like the obituary, with the biographical details and summary of her life. Jade was learning so much about Grandma Jean just with the information she’d been given. That she’d been born in Florida but had moved to California when she was young. That she had a degree in chemistry. That her parents had been really hesitant about her marriage because her husband was somewhat older than she was, but he had won them over. That she’d had to leave work in a chemical lab that she really loved to raise her two children, and when her daughters were older, took work as a high school science teacher because it better fit her schedule.

It was all stuff she somehow had never known about Grandma Jean. Because, of course, she’d also been a lifelong cinephile. And somehow, all these details were things Jade had never thought to ask her in all their conversations about film.

There were memories she wasn’t part of, but could see so clearly. The way she used to take Tori and Trina to the movies when they were little kids, teaching them theater etiquette--which worked pretty well on Tori, but less so on Trina. The way she’d grilled David over dinner the first time Holly brought him to meet her parents to the point that even he, the future police lieutenant, was sweating. The way she would converse with the Thanksgiving turkey throughout the entire process of cooking it and serving it, even naming it.

And her own memories and impressions of her. The way she always laughed appreciatively when someone said the word “fuck” as long as no children were present. The way she was unapologetic about having a sex life in her old age. The way she called Bud Light Lime “citrus piss water,” but still loved it thoroughly. The fact that she loved a good low-dosage edible (Holly’s special “Just for Mom” recipe) on days when her arthritis was particularly bad.

And, of course, the fact that she loved movies passionately. How she’d fought for the Elderly Acres Horror Club. How she constantly told anyone who second-guessed elderlies watching horror movies that, “We can handle a lot more than people think. We’ve seen a lot of shit.”

Jade poured all that and more onto the pages, trying to capture the essence of a woman who was so recently vibrant and full of acerbic wit. She tried to be succinct, fully aware that Holly would need to read this aloud, but it didn’t feel like enough.

She was reading over it, editing it and trying to condense it, when there was a knock on the door of the guest house. She called for Tori to come in.

“Hey,” Tori said, stepping in cautiously, “I just wanted to see how it’s going.”

“I think I might be finished,” Jade said, deciding she should just send what she had. Holly could edit if she needed to, or make suggestions she could work on tomorrow. “Do you want to see it?” she asked Tori.

Tori nodded, and took a seat next to Jade on the couch. Jade passed over her computer, and tried not to scrutinize Tori as she read, so as not to make her self-conscious. But she did watch her, as discreetly as she could. It felt like the days when they were younger, when she would show Tori her short films, and watch her to see if she liked them, if she understood them.

But now, she watched as Tori smiled wistfully, and teared up, and laughed. And as she read, “‘We’ve seen a lot of shit.’ Oh, god, Jade. She would love this. She would…” she trailed off, and her face blurred right in front of Jade.

It took a moment for Jade to even comprehend that she was crying, tears spilling out of her eyes. She held her breath, trying to control it, but that only made the sob that came out louder, and she brushed at her eyes in frustration. It wasn’t time for this, damn it, she wasn’t ready. Tori put down the laptop and put her arms around Jade, holding her as Jade tried to get her tears under control against Tori’s shoulder. “I have to send it to your mom,” she finally managed through her tight throat and her mouth muffled against Tori’s shirt.

“I’ll send it right now,” Tori said, drawing away from Jade and wiping at her eyes. Jade stared around the guest house, abruptly remembering that it had belonged to Grandma Jean, that this whole _property_ did, and god knew what was happening with that, but it hit her, as Tori tapped away on her computer, that if she hadn’t come back to LA, if she hadn’t decided to stay for a little while after that class reunion, that she likely would have never have seen Grandma Jean again before she died.

A wave of fresh tears overtook her, and Tori drew back from the laptop to hold her again. Jade let herself accept the comfort, slowly regaining control, and as her tears started to subside, Tori coaxed her to her feet.

“Come on,” Tori said quietly, “I have frozen lasagna in my house, I’ll make us something to eat and we can watch a movie, okay?”

Jade nodded, following Tori out of the guest house and into the main house. Tori made the lasagna and they ate on the couch, Tori starting _Happy Death Day_ , because, as she explained, it was the most light-hearted horror movie she could think of, and Grandma Jean had liked it. Jade ate mechanically, eyes glued to the screen, gradually coming back to her reality with the taste of the food, the joy of the movie in front of her, Tori next to her on the couch, taking her plate when she was finished and then rejoining her.

It was their own mini-tribute to Grandma Jean, watching a horror movie in her old house. Jade reached over and took Tori’s hand, squeezing it in gratitude. She’d wanted so much to just be there for Tori through this whole process, and mourn on her own later, but she was realizing, or maybe remembering, that grief didn’t work like that.

But Tori had been there when she needed her, just like she’d been there for Tori that morning. This weekend, they were family, and they were mourning together, lifting each other up. Whatever happened after, well, Jade couldn’t even really consider anything beyond the funeral on Sunday right now.

It was hard to say when they fell asleep, but Jade woke up when Tori shifted next to her. Apparently, she’d been resting against Tori’s shoulder, and though Tori had clearly tried to get up gently, the sensation of her head falling was enough to wake up Jade. She became gradually aware of the sounds of screams coming from the television, presumably whatever had autoplayed after the movie Tori had chosen had stopped. Probably that’s what had woken Tori up.

“Sorry,” Tori whispered, noticing that Jade was awake. “But we might want to save ourselves the neck pain and go to bed.”

“Yeah,” Jade murmured, sitting up and stretching her neck, which was already stiff from the way she’d fallen asleep. She stood up unsteadily, body still half asleep, Tori standing nearby in case she stumbled. “Thanks for dinner,” she said, “And, you know. Everything.”

Tori nodded, “Of course,” she replied.

They both lingered a moment. Jade couldn't help but remember how it had felt to wrap herself around Tori the night before, or in Tori’s childhood bedroom that afternoon when they took a nap. The comfort of it, the way they’d fit together. She wanted to offer more of that contact now, but maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. They’d see each other tomorrow, they’d be together the whole weekend, dealing with this tragedy as a family. “Well, good night,” Jade finally said.

“Good night,” Tori replied.

Jade trudged out to her guest house, happy that she was exhausted enough to fall asleep easily, without much time to dwell on Grandma Jean or Tori or everything else in her life that was heavy on her mind.

-

Friday morning, Tori woke in her own room, in her own bed, alone. There were a few moments of separating sleep from reality, then the realization that she was in the middle of helping her mother plan Grandma Jean's funeral. She wondered how long she'd wake up like this, blissfully unaware for five seconds before the harsh reality of loss set in.

At least she wasn't fighting a hangover this morning, so she could function fairly normally. Her usual routine of a shower, blow drying her hair, and picking out clothes helped move the morning along to the point where she normally made coffee. It was almost nine, so Jade should be up by now or would be soon. But when Tori opened the cupboard, there was a sticky note on the bag of coffee beans.

**At my shoot, back before noon.**

**Didn't want to text in case it woke you up.**

**\- J**

That's right, Jade was working. Tori hated that she was alone and decided she regretted telling Jade to keep the appointment. But she also knew it was important for Jade to have work to think about. And really, maybe Tori needed some time to herself. She was grateful to have Jade, to know she was there, but it was probably a good idea to pace things, to make sure it wasn't too much. For either of them.

She pulled the note off the bag of beans and nearly missed that there was something written on the back.

**P.S. Save me some.**

It made Tori laugh, briefly but honestly, so maybe there was something to be said about the way they were helping each other through these next few days. She brewed the pot, poured her cup, and made her way out to the patio table. At least Hamster was there, happy to accept a bit of affection from Tori before leaping off the bench to lie in a sunny spot on the grass. After watching him, she decided he had the right idea. She took a deep drink of her coffee, then placed the cup on the table as she moved off the bench and stretched out on the lawn, eyes closed as she faced the sky.

She thought about the times she and Trina had done this as kids, playing in the grass, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their faces. When they were younger, she'd looked up to her sister because she always seemed to know more than she did. Trina had taught her how to sneak down the hallway at home and quietly sit on the stairs while their parents watched TV in the living room when they were supposed to be in bed. She'd shown Tori how to do a handstand in the pool and explained to her when she was nine what french kissing was (and at the time, the idea had freaked Tori out). Trina could be abrasive and obnoxious, but she'd grown out of most of her worst qualities.

Which was what made her outburst the other day (along with her comments at the house the day before) something that had lingered in Tori's mind. Maybe it was silly to even give it much thought while so much else was happening with their family, right now, but she had to consider that Trina wasn't wrong. Tori and Jade did have the capacity to hurt each other if they weren't careful. This friendship they were building was still delicate and new, even though it felt so entirely familiar. She didn't want to make a misstep that would cost them everything they'd put back together. But she also didn't like the idea of putting more space between them, either. So, then...the best course of action was just to continue carefully, right?

She could do that.

If it meant keeping Jade in her life after not having her around for so long, she _would_ do that.

-

After Jade’s photoshoot in the morning, Tori drove them over to her parents’ house. They were greeted by Trina, David, and Holly, who all offered hugs, but the hug Holly gave her lingered.

“Thank you,” Holly told her, “The eulogy is perfect.”

Jade nodded, “I was honored to write it.”

But after greeting one another tenderly, things shifted pretty quickly to handling business. Jade made it clear that she was available for anything that needed to be accomplished, even mundane errands, which was how she got tapped to pick up Tori’s Aunt Sonya and her kids, who were flying into the Burbank airport that afternoon. David offered to let her use his SUV, just to be sure there was enough room for three people and their luggage.

Which was how Jade found herself on the road that afternoon, in an unfamiliar car. It was a definite adjustment, switching from her car to David’s SUV. The Buick was kind of long, for a sedan, so navigating the Hollywood Hills in a larger car was something she was used to, but in an SUV she was also just _so high up_. It was weird for a while, but then Jade kind of really started to enjoy it.

As she drove to the airport, something that had been nagging in the back of her mind kept coming up. Tori’s Aunt Sonya. Every time she’d heard the name as they talked to her on speakerphone the day before, it had triggered a sense of familiarity that she knew wasn’t connected to having met her, years before, at graduation.

Didn’t she know another Sonya? She was sure she had met one, but she couldn’t think of who it might be. It felt like someone she might’ve known in college, but she’d gone through everyone she could remember working with, especially during the blur that was the last year and a half, and couldn’t recall a single Sonya.

Finally, she voice-dialed Sam.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked immediately. She, of course, knew what was going on, and Jade knew that she and Cat would absolutely be at the funeral that weekend.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Jade said evenly, “I’m going to pick up some of Tori’s family from the airport. But I’m calling for kind of a dumb reason.”

“Hit me,” Sam replied.

“Okay, maybe I’m just like...too tired or grieving or whatever, but do you know a Sonya?”

“I...don’t think so?” Sam said uncertainly, “Why?”

“Tori’s aunt is a Sonya, and I swear I used to know a Sonya like, back in college or whatever, but I don’t think I went to school with her, so I was trying to figure out if it was someone I met through you.”

“You know what, let me do some research and I’ll get back to you,” Sam replied.

“Sam? What kind of ‘research?’” With Sam, Jade couldn’t be sure that this was something that was actually legal.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Well, that wasn’t reassuring, but Sam had already hung up the phone.

She still had another twenty minutes or so before she'd reach the airport, so she voice-dialed Beck, having promised him she'd call him at some point today when he'd texted her the night before to check in.

"Hey," came his voice through the speakers. "How are you?" It was a sincere question, not small talk.

"Sad, I guess," Jade replied.

They chatted a bit, with Jade filling him in on the last couple of days (omitting the part about that night in the yard), then finally wrapped things up as Beck sent his best to Tori and the family. As she hung up, Jade was grateful that he'd made her promise to call, if only because she knew it meant he was concerned about her and, even after so many years and so much distance, he'd always popped up to offer friendly moral support, as needed. Was this the kind of thing she and Tori were working toward? Casual but reliable phone calls and maybe brunch every couple of years? What they were building felt much different than that. Then again, what she'd had with Tori when they were together wasn't the same relationship she'd had with Beck.

Jade drove into the loop at Burbank airport and picked up Tori’s aunt Sonya, and Tori’s two cousins, Aspen and Eric. Aspen was around Trina’s age, and Eric was a little older, and back during high school graduation, they had been the cool older cousins who had partied with them and their friends, on that fateful night in which Tori drank too many Appletinis (Eric, who had dealt with many a dumb, drunk friend, had helped Jade take care of Tori that night). Now, they were all adults, and even years in the future, Jade recognized Tori’s family on sight. Especially Aspen, the one member of Tori’s extended family she’d kept in contact with on SplashFace over the years.

She pulled up to the curb and got out unnecessarily to help them load their luggage in the back of the SUV. Aunt Sonya gave Jade an appraising sort of look, “I wasn’t sure if it was going to be you picking us up, but here you are. Same old Jade, huh?”

“I guess,” Jade replied, clicking the trunk closed and circling back around to the driver’s side. Aunt Sonya took the front seat and Aspen and Eric took the two middle bucket seats in the back. “How was your flight?” she asked.

“Quick and easy,” Aunt Sonya shrugged. The three of them lived scattered across northern California, but had gathered together to all take the same flight down, for simplicity’s sake.

The car lapsed into awkward silence for a moment. Jade should’ve considered this before offering to pick up relatives she really didn’t know very well. She wondered if she should turn up the radio. She glanced in the rearview mirror and met Aspen’s eye for a moment, and they offered her a tired smile.

Aunt Sonya looked and sounded stressed, but apparently, she decided to make an effort to catch up. “So, Jade,” she started, “Are you and Tori still an item, then?”

“Uh, no,” Jade replied.

“They broke up a long time ago, Mom,” Aspen said dryly, rolling their eyes.

“Well, I thought that was the case, but…” Aunt Sonya trailed off. “All right, then, I’m glad you’re here helping out, anyway.”

“Tori’s my friend,” Jade explained, “And Grandma Jean was as close as family to me.”

“Oh, right. She did mention that you kept in touch over the years,” Aunt Sonya trailed off, likely thinking about her mother.

“How’s Aunt Holly doing?” Eric wanted to know.

“She’s doing all right,” Jade replied, “I think she’ll be happy to have her sister here to help.”

“I just wish we could’ve gotten down here sooner,” Aunt Sonya sighed, “She got left with the bulk of the work.”

“She doesn’t see it that way,” Jade assured her. Well, she had no idea how Holly felt about it, but it seemed that taking care of the minutiae of death was something Holly was eager to do. Jade could relate. That drive to do _something_ useful was exactly why she was here with relatives she barely knew to begin with.

“So, Jade, you made a movie a few years back, didn’t you?” Aunt Sonya asked out of nowhere.

“Yep,” Jade replied succinctly.

“I don’t think I had a chance to see it, but I heard good things.”

“That’s because it _was_ really good,” Eric put in.

“Yeah, but it would’ve freaked Mom out,” Aspen added, “We both thought it was great, though,” they informed Jade.

“Thanks,” Jade offered a brief smile to the rearview mirror.

“Well, do you have anything in the works that we should be watching for?” Aunt Sonya asked eagerly.

“Not really,” Jade responded.

“Mom, if she does, she might not be able to tell us,” Aspen sounded reasonable, but slightly irritated.

“I was just asking! I just know her movie was awhile ago, so--”

“Mom,” Aspen interrupted, a warning.

Aunt Sonya subsided. At least until she asked, “Where are you staying, Jade?”

Jade took a moment to process the question, but it wasn’t until Aspen replied that she realized what was being asked.

“Jade’s local to LA again,” they sighed.

“Well, I don’t know! It thought she lived in New York.”

“It’s okay,” Jade assured, “I lived there for a while. Sort of.”

Jade made it back to the Vega house without any more particularly invasive questions. She knew Aunt Sonya was just trying to catch up and keep conversation light, but it was all the more difficult with everything else that was happening around her. She appreciated that Aspen, at least, seemed to be her ally in all this.

The rest of the day involved a lot of ironing out of details, another trip to the funeral home. That evening, she and Tori were at the Vega house late. Aunt Sonya, Eric and Aspen were all staying here, as well as Trina, so after Tori’s parents and Aunt Sonya went upstairs to sleep, the rest of them hung out.

They went outside to smoke some of Holly’s weed, even Trina, and then sat up in the living room talking for a while. It was good to catch up with Tori’s cousins, and also with Trina, even if most of the conversation was stoney, subdued, basic life update stuff.

But eventually, Trina went upstairs to her air mattress in what was left of her old bedroom, and Tori and Jade left so that Eric and Aspen could get settled to sleep on the couches. Tori, who had barely used her vape that night, drove them home. Jade was foggy, a combination of exhaustion and being high. She’d gotten up early for work and it had been a long day.

She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep in Tori’s car until she was jostled by the car turning and driving over the slight hump at the end of the driveway. She blinked and grumbled, trying to orient herself as Tori parked, and then stepped down carefully out of the Subaru.

Tori met her in the driveway, watching her uncertainly. “Okay. You’d better get to bed,” she said, cracking a smile.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jade yawned, “You, too.”

“Don’t worry,” Tori said quietly, “You okay? You need anything?”

“I’m good,” Jade assured her. She lingered a moment, wanting _something_ , in spite of her assurance, but she couldn’t decide what. So she headed for the gate to her guest house. “Good night,” she said.

“Night,” Tori replied softly, still standing in the driveway.

Jade ambled through the backyard and the patio to her door. She glanced behind her as she opened it, seeing Tori’s face at the kitchen window, making sure she got into her house okay.

It made her smile as she took her stoned body to bed.

Most of Saturday was spent at the funeral home, preparing for the wake that evening. It wasn’t a wake in a religious sense, nor was it really a viewing because there was no body, just photographs, but it was a chance for the community of people who knew Grandma Jean to come tell the family what she had meant to them. Jade had never had to consider the purpose of it much, but she understood it now: the funeral itself was really for the family and close friends to remember the deceased, but the wake was for the community to support the grieving family, even if they hadn’t known Grandma Jean very well.

People mingled in the space, guests signed the guest book, people received little print-outs of the obituary Jade had written, for them to take to remember Grandma Jean by, Jade guessed. Mostly, guests came and went, paying their respects to the family and offering condolences, while the family comforted each other.

Her mom and Jeremy showed up and stayed for a while, but that wasn’t really surprising. She knew they planned to attend the funeral and burial the next day, too, because even Jeremy had gotten to know Grandma Jean by spending holidays with the Vegas. And Andre stopped by, too, mostly for Tori.

Jade watched as he hugged her for a long time, then stepped back, regarding her seriously, “How are you doing?” he asked her, compassion in his voice.

“Okay,” Tori smiled weakly, “Thank you so much for coming.”

Andre nodded, shifting his stance awkwardly. “I’m really sorry that...that I can’t come to the funeral,” he started, “But I’m always a phone call away, you know that, right?”

“I do,” Tori smiled, “And I’m okay. I have my family and Jade here with me.”

Andre glanced over at her, and Jade tried not to look like she’d been eavesdropping, because she really wasn’t, they were talking _right_ next to her. Andre offered a hug of his own, which she accepted. He looked at first like he wasn’t sure what to say, glancing between her and Tori, but finally, he said simply, “I’m glad you’re here for her.”

“We’re here for each other. I loved her, too,” Jade replied. She watched as Andre frowned, but nodded. She wondered if he even knew that she had been close to Tori’s grandmother. She couldn’t think of a reason it would’ve come up in conversation unless he also knew Grandma Jean, which she didn’t think he did.

After Andre left, Jade wondered, briefly, if her level of entanglement with Tori’s family was weird. But now wasn’t the time to worry about it, not during a wake, the weekend of a funeral.

At the very least, she was glad that she and Tori had reconnected before all this happened, because she didn’t know what she’d be doing with herself if she’d been shut out from all of this.

-

The wake had felt like it would take forever but also managed to be over before Tori even processed the passage of time. Seeing so many people, some she didn't recognize, others she knew well, made most of the evening a blur of repetition.

_Sorry about your grandmother._

_She was such a fun lady._

_Jean always said she was so proud of you._

Much like the night before, she and Jade slipped outside with Aspen and Eric to indulge in more of Holly's cannabis. Though, this time, Jade waved the vape away and indicated she'd drive them home later. Tori appreciated the chance to bond with her cousins and was surprised to discover how much Aspen and Jade had apparently kept up over the years. It made sense, though. Aspen was also an artist, mostly working in sculpture made of found items, and they were a fellow horror aficionado.

As Jade began to drive them back to Encino in the Subaru, Tori peered at the city lights of Los Angeles, letting her mind wander and drift to nowhere in particular. It was nice to just be away from everyone (but Jade) in the quiet (except for the low volume of whatever playlist had synced) without having to answer questions about herself or listen as someone expressed their sadness over the loss of Grandma Jean.

She wondered if Jade was as tired as she was. Probably. They'd both been on the same schedule of various funeral preparation duties for the last couple of days and Jade had even managed to still go to work, if only for the one session. But Jade also processed things like this by keeping herself active, Tori knew. Maybe because the constant motion meant she'd exhaust herself to the point of being able to sleep well at night. That seemed like a Jade West tactic.

When they pulled into the driveway, Tori realized she hadn't said a single word all the way home. And Jade hadn't attempted a conversation. But, like, in a good way.

As they exited the car, Tori accepted her keys back from Jade, following her toward the back gate instead of the front door. She wanted to hit her vape one more time before going into bed. This time, when she offered it to Jade, she took it. They sat on top of the picnic table together, passing the device back and forth a couple times until Jade finally spoke.

"If I have any more, I'm worried I'll have some kind of fucked up dreams."

"That's funny, I usually have the best dreams the more stoned I am," Tori smiled.

"Well, you don't have this dark mind."

They were close enough that it was easy to bump Jade with her elbow. "You talk like that, but I know better."

"Do you?" Jade challenged.

"I know you're fuzzier on the inside than you let on."

"If you're thinking about what people's insides look like, maybe you're the dark one."

Tori laughed and pushed her hand against Jade's shoulder. "Go to bed."

Jade playfully shoved right back. "You go to bed." Then she quickly lifted herself up off the table to avoid another push from Tori, who rose to her feet and found the key to the back door on her key ring.

"Have fuzzy dreams," she teased, unlocking the door as Jade did the same to enter the guest house.

"Goodnight, nerd," Jade said with a faint smile.

That night, Tori had a dream that Jade took her to the Santa Monica pier and won a giant stuffed hamster playing a game that involved shooting fire into a clown's mouth. When Tori woke, it was still dark out, but she peeked through her bedroom window to the little house in the backyard. All the lights were off and Jade was probably sound asleep.

Which meant she'd likely sleep through a text message.

**I definitely just had a dream you won a hamster playing a fire clown game**

Tori settled back down and closed her eyes, waiting to drift back off. But after a minute, her phone buzzed.

**idk what any of that means**

**but I'm glad I came out a winner**

**go to sleep**

This was what she'd missed, most of all. Just the back and forth of her with Jade. No need for explanation.

Maybe they really could make this work.

-

It seemed surreal that they were at the funeral. Although a lot had happened over the last couple of days, it also felt like they’d flown by, blurred by numb grief with little pockets of levity. Riding with David to pick up pizza. Holly complimenting her eulogy. Hanging out and getting high with Tori, Trina, and their cousins. And last night at the picnic table, ending another long day with Tori, vaping just to put off bedtime a little longer.

The lines were blurring, a little, between what was just mourning and what was...whatever was happening between them. If anything was happening between them. Because Jade still wasn’t sure, she only knew that she’d found Tori’s physical presence so comforting as they carried each other through this process, and she craved more of it, but also knew that asking for it was...fraught, to say the least.

But here they were, at the funeral, Jade sitting between Tori and Tiffany in the front row. Grandma Jean had wanted to keep her funeral simple. The non-denominational chaplain that worked at the Elderly Acres chapel opened the service, then Holly read the eulogy Jade had written. Aunt Sonya read two poems, “When I Am Dead, My Dearest” and “Death is Nothing At All.” And then both sisters shared some reflections about their mother and her life. But there were no sad songs, nothing fancy or overtly religious. Grandma Jean had wanted her funeral to feel like a celebration, and in spite of everyone’s grief, that was the tone that came through.

Afterwards, before heading to the cemetery where the burial would take place with just family and close friends in attendance, the family mingled with those who had attended the funeral, taking time to talk to those who hadn’t made it to the wake and weren’t going to the burial. A lot of Grandma Jean’s more distant relatives were in attendance, cousins of Holly and Sonya, mostly, as well as some long-time family friends.

Jade was standing close to Tori, but kept getting drawn into conversations of her own with well-meaning elderlies who wanted to know how she knew Grandma Jean (generally relatives of Tori who were strangers to her, and maybe thought she was some relative they’d forgotten about) or who wanted to know what was going to happen to the Horror Club (acquaintances from Elderly Acres). She could hear bits and pieces of the conversations Tori was in, though.

Like one woman, maybe her great aunt? Jade couldn’t keep track of everyone. She was asking Tori, “So, are you in any upcoming shows I should keep an eye out for?”

“No,” Tori replied, an edge to her tone. Jade winced. This hadn’t been the first time today Tori had to answer a question like this, nor last night, for that matter. “I’m doing something different with my career these days.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Are you auditioning?” Was Tori’s relative hard of hearing, or just not listening?

“ _No_. I don’t do that kind of work anymore.” Tori was clearly growing frustrated. Jade thought she’d better excuse herself from the elderly who was telling her some story about Grandma Jean’s opinions on horror movie remakes.

Tori’s relative nodded slowly. “Oh, I see. Well, is there anything you can share--”

“ _Okay_!” Tori said loudly, drawing the gaze of several people around her, conversations in the room already starting to fade to murmurs. “Since everyone seems to want to know, I’m not an actress anymore. I’m a professional dominatrix, which means I am a sex worker, as well as as sex educator, and I _love_ my work.” She seemed to realize abruptly that she had the attention of the entire room and seemed to deflate slightly, but she steeled herself and pressed on, “Just so everybody knows what kind of questions are appropriate,” she finished in a quieter tone, matching the silence of the room.

There was a loud laugh, quickly stifled, that Jade recognized immediately as Sam’s, and then Cat’s voice calling, “Go Tori!”

Jade cast a long glance at Sam and Cat, who looked gleeful amidst everyone else’s shock and astonishment, and then looked back to Tori, who seemed frozen. “Okay,” Jade said, breaking the silence, “I think Tori needs to get some air. If you’ll excuse us,” she stepped over and took Tori’s elbow. Tori started moving with her without prompting, but Jade kept a secure hand on her back as they left the chapel.

Once outside, they moved away from the door, still standing under the cover of the portico entrance to the chapel. Tori still looked highly agitated, but she wasn’t speaking.

“Do you need your vape?” Jade suggested. Tori shook her head quickly, lips pressed together, face scrunched up in apparent frustration. “Okay,” Jade said, taking both of Tori’s hands. “Close your eyes, and take a deep breath with me, okay?” She watched as Tori obeyed, eyes falling closed, inhaling deeply. “And out,” Jade instructed.

“I know how to do it--” Tori said stubbornly as she exhaled.

“Shut up. Inhale.” Tori had started her inhale, and then huffed out a sigh at Jade’s admonishment, so that she was a little behind as Jade said, “Exhale.” By the third time, Jade just said, “One more time,” and let Tori go at her own pace.

Tori opened her eyes when it was over, gazing at Jade, already appearing so much more relaxed and grateful. They stood for a moment, just looking at each other, Jade still holding Tori’s hands.

“Okay,” Jade said, moving to drop Tori’s hands and step away before the intimacy of the moment became too potent.

But Tori grabbed onto one of her hands, keeping her there, eyes still searching for hers. “Thank you,” she said quietly.

“Sure,” Jade replied. Tori dropped her hand, and Jade turned, standing next to her. “Ready to head back inside?”

Tori chuckled, “Let’s give them a moment to let the news settle.”

“Yeah, that was...quite a pronouncement to make at your grandmother’s funeral.”

Tori’s chuckling turned to more robust laughter, “Okay, my timing wasn’t the best, but...I just couldn’t fucking take another question about how talented I am and why aren’t I getting more work?”

Jade eyed her, “You _are_ talented, but I understand what you mean. I’m glad more people in there don’t know I’m a filmmaker, because I wouldn’t want to be answering those questions, either.”

They lingered outside for a bit longer, but then it was time to go back in. They definitely attracted some looks, but for the most part, they were able to fold back into the group. It seemed that the socializing was winding down, anyway, unrelated to Tori’s outburst, because it was time to go to the cemetery for the burial.

The group all headed to the cemetery, their own little unofficial funeral procession (Grandma Jean had made it clear she didn’t want traffic to stop just because she died). It was a smaller, more intimate group that gathered to watch Grandma Jean’s ashes take their place next to her husband’s: the Vegas, Aunt Sonya and her kids, Jade, Tiffany, Jeremy, Sam and Cat. They all watched solemnly as she was interred.

The chaplain from Elderly Acres read a brief excerpt from _Leaves of Grass_ as they laid her to rest, and because of the nature of her relationship with Grandma Jean (and her ever-present desire to fuck with Tori), Jade leaned over and very quietly but clearly said, right into Tori’s ear, “They’re coming to get you, Barbara.” It was a direct quote from _Night of the Living Dead_ and it was wholly inappropriate to reference at a burial, which was why Tori shot her a side-eyed glare. But Tori’s mouth began to twitch and it was apparent that she was trying not to laugh. Jade felt this was exactly the kind of behavior Grandma Jean would have encouraged.

And then, the burial was over.

The plan now was to head back to the Vega house, so this smaller group could spend time together recovering and remembering Grandma Jean. Except Aspen and Eric, who had to catch flights that evening in order to be back at work on Monday. Jade had agreed to drive them back to the airport, and Sam offered to tag along to keep her company, while Cat stayed at the house with Tori. So Jade ended up leaving the Vega house almost as soon as she arrived, with just enough time for Aspen and Eric to pack their luggage, hug everyone goodbye, and get into David’s SUV (it was unnecessary to borrow it, but Jade appreciated the offer and accepted).

After dropping off Tori’s cousins, Jade and Sam had some time to talk on their own.

“That was wild at the funeral when Tori just...busted all that out,” Sam chuckled. Okay, maybe that had come up when Aspen and Eric were in the car, too; Aspen hadn’t seemed at all surprised by Tori’s work, though Eric admitted he hadn’t known that’s what she did. But for the sake of Tori’s cousins’ sanity, they’d shifted the topic pretty quickly.

“I kind of can’t believe she did that,” Jade shook her head. “Actually, she’s kind of always been that way, so I don’t know why any of us were surprised,” she realized. It was why she was always giving Tori a hard time about being _unchill_. It was a reputation she’d earned.

“Hey, she’s got nothing to be ashamed of,” Sam replied.

“I didn’t say she did, but there are probably people who wish they didn’t know this. What happened after we left?”

“Mostly people just went back to chatting or whatever. I think a couple of elderlies asked Tori’s mom some questions about how she felt about Tori’s work, but she handled it well.”

“She’s had time to get used to it,” Jade observed.

“Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. I figured out why you know a Sonya.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jade asked, “Who is she?”

“The fisting woman,” Sam said simply.

“ _What_?!”

“You know. Some hot chick you met at a party who straight up asked you to fist her as her version of making a pass at you. What an opening line.”

If Jade weren’t driving, her eyes would’ve glazed over from trying to bring back that particular memory. But abruptly, there it was. “ _Oh my god_.”

“Told you,” Sam laughed, “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“How did you even remember that?”

Sam shrugged, “Maybe I take notes.”

“Wait, you take _notes_ on the stories I tell you?”

“Hey, I get out there a fair bit. It helps to know what to expect if I happen to come across someone you’ve been with. Or flirted with.”

Jade wondered if Sam kept literal spreadsheets somewhere. It would explain a lot. She was chaotic in most ways, but organized when it came to things that mattered to her. Like the breast collection on her phone. “ _Have_ you?”

“Not yet, at least, not to my knowledge.”

Jade relaxed. “Good. I mean. Not that I’ve slept with a lot of women in LA. But Shelby was weird enough.”

“Still don’t think she looks that much like Tori,” Sam insisted.

“You need to get your eyes checked.”

“Hey, even you couldn’t go through with it because she wasn’t Tori.”

“Yeah, but--” Jade sighed, because it was so much more complicated than that, and it was _because_ they looked alike. “Sure, fine.” She was also too tired to really debate Sam about this. "Funny you should bring that up, by the way," she wasn't sure if she should disclose this, but then she'd already brought it up, so, "Tori and I slept together."

"Yeah, at the reunion."

"I mean, the other night."

Sam hummed in realization. "Is that why you two have been inseparable all weekend?"

"No," Jade answered. "It wasn't like that. It was just...the day we found out and...she was so upset. We ended up drinking a few beers in the yard and then..."

"Shit, you did it in the yard?"

"The backyard."

"Damn."

"But it was...sad. Not...it was effective and everything. Just..."

"Nah, I get what you mean."

"Anyway, the rest of it all...it's just us being there for each other."

"And that's not what you were doing the other night?" Sam asked, suggestively.

"Come on, she and I are friends," Jade rolled her eyes before chuckling to herself. Sam wasn't entirely wrong. She wasn't entirely right, either. "I'm just glad I was in town for it." A silence settled between them and Sam eventually turned up the radio, making Jade grateful for lack of pressure to continue a conversation.

When they arrived back at the Vega house, Holly seemed to take specific notice of their return by requesting the attention of the entire living room and kitchen area.

"Now that everyone's back who plans to stay for a while..." Holly indicated to a tray of small cookies that sat on the counter. "These were my mother's favorite recipe and, in honor of her, I'd like to invite anyone who cares to indulge." She also gestured to another tray of larger cookies. "For those who don't care to medicate or are just hungry for cookies, these are the virgin batch."

The day before, the discussion had come up about what to do on Sunday evening, as it was the premiere of _Weed Wars_. Ultimately, the family had decided they'd all watch together, as they'd already had a plan to do so, Grandma Jean included. Jade watched as Sam immediately raided the non-enhanced cookie tray, taking three for herself and one for Cat. Everyone else appeared prepared to imbibe, including David. This was probably about to get really weird. She sought out Tori, wanting to know the plan for the rest of the night.

"If you want to, I'll drive home again," Jade offered.

"You're both welcome to stay here, since Aspen and Eric left the couches open for the night," Holly suggested.

Jade exchanged a look with Tori and they each grabbed a cookie.

There was absolutely no way Jade could remember what something tasted like, half her life ago, that time she and Tori had split a cannabis cookie in detention. But she definitely remembered everything that came after it. Now wasn’t then and they were both very different people, but it felt like maybe this moment might be a pivot point for them in very much the same way.

-

It took a little while for the cookie to kick in, giving everyone time to graze on the various potluck dishes that had been provided by people offering condolences. By the time they were all gathered around the TV to watch the premier of _Weed Wars_ , Tori was sufficiently high, her body relaxed, her mind clear and calm, tucked next to Jade on the couch with Trina on her other side.

“Okay,” Holly announced from the other sofa, her tone commanding attention but also measured, naturally drawn out by the weed in her body, “I’m really proud of the work I’ve done on this show, and I’m terribly disappointed that my mother isn’t here to watch it. So I just want to dedicate this episode to Mom.” There were solemn nods and murmurs of _to Grandma Jean_ or _to Mom_. “Now, are you guys ready to see me take down Bambi Sterling?” she asked.

“Spoiler alert!” Cat hollered from where she was sitting on Jade’s other side.

“As if I’d let you guys watch something where I _didn’t_ take her down,” Holly drawled, smirking. She was a different sort of high than Tori had ever seen her. More playful, somehow.

She had a sudden inkling that she was about to see a very different side of her mother, on this reality show. She caught her dad’s eye for a moment, but he looked dazed, almost lost. She’d certainly also never seen her dad this high before.

The episode began, and though Tori had gotten almost nothing out of her mother about the concept of this show, it was sort of what she expected, except more. A reality show about competing cannabis businesses, which highlighted the different products Holly and Bambi recommended to individuals while on the job, but then also made them duke it out to land large contracts for celebrities. Like in this episode, Rihanna was trying to find the best cannabis cupcakes for a party she was hosting (everyone shrieked the first time a shot of Holly and Rihanna together appeared onscreen), and so the show followed Holly and Bambi’s processes for assessing what Rihanna was looking for and crafting the perfect edibles. Then, on two separate evenings, a panel of judges including Rihanna tried each batch of cupcakes, rated them on presentation, flavor, quality of the high, and the extremely subjective rating of “overall experience.”

Of course, Holly’s cupcakes won, and the episode ended with some brief interviews with stoned guests at Rihanna’s gathering complementing her treats. Tori liked that, so far, the show seemed to be focusing on female stoners. Part of her intentions with creating her Mary Jane persona was to normalize something for women that men had taken for granted for a much longer time.

When it was over, they all applauded Holly, who looked pleased and proud but also a little wistful. And they were finally allowed to ask her questions, which they did, volleying them rapidfire: “What did Bambi say when you won?” “What was it like to meet Rihanna?” “Where can I get some of those cupcakes?”

Tori felt herself sink deeper into the couch, headspace pleasant amidst her grief. Grandma Jean would’ve absolutely loved this, she thought, the whole family and their friends pleasantly stoned (minus Sam and Cat) and enjoying their time together, celebrating life and joy and each other.

It took her a long moment to realize Trina was looking at her. She sat up a little straighter at the scrutiny on Trina’s face, feeling Jade’s shoulder supporting her head. She realized Jade’s arm was resting along the back of the couch, letting Tori lean into her side.

“I see you,” Trina said intensely, pointing two fingers at her own eyes and then at Tori.

“Um, we see you, too, Trina,” Jade drawled, “Did you mistake the medicated cookies for the virgin ones?”

Trina shook her head, “No. I mean it. I _see_ you.”

“Okay, you’re kinda freaking me out,” Tori told her, laughing nervously.

“Trina,” Holly began, “Leave them alone.”

“But they’re being disgusting! Not because they’re gay or whatever, but--”

“Trina! Listen,” Holly began, commanding the attention of the entire room again, “I’m just so proud of Tori and Jade, and you two, Sam and Cat, for being able to embrace your sexuality at such young ages. It really is a gift, to know yourself.”

“Uh, thanks Mom?” Tori replied warily.

Holly’s eyes looked teary, and Tori couldn’t quite figure out _what_ her mother’s mood was right now. “I’m just so _happy_ for you.” She shook her head, “To be open to what you want, because that means your path won’t be like mine. You won’t have to find out at forty-six that women have _just as much_ to offer sexually as men!”

Tiffany applauded immediately, “ _Yes_ , honey! Preach it!” she called.

“Oh, my god,” Tori heard Jeremy murmur from his place on a kitchen chair behind the couch.

“ _Mom_ ,” Jade admonished.

“What? I’m proud of her!” Tiffany said, sounding it. “And so’s David.”

David nodded, his expression still looking completely detached from reality, “Yep,” he said succinctly. Tori glanced at Jade, horror passing over both their faces, before getting drawn back into what everyone was saying.

“I’m happy for you, but don’t think I needed to hear this,” Aunt Sonya muttered.

“Oh, hush, I’m just telling my truth, and I’m not ashamed!” Holly announced.

“Go, Mrs. Tori’s Mom!” Cat called, applauding herself, making Tiffany join her again. Sam, on another kitchen chair behind Cat, muffled her uproarious laughter into the back of the couch.

Trina seemed to finally find her voice, after staring with her mouth agape for a long time, “ _Mother_!”

Holly looked tenderly at Trina, “I hope that if women are in your future, sweetheart, that you discover it sooner rather than later.”

“ _Oh my god_!”

“Okay, honey,” David finally said, seeming to come back to reality somewhat, “Why don’t we have some dessert or something? Is anyone else _really_ hungry?”

“Yep,” Trina said, standing up immediately and moving away from the couches, Jeremy on her heels, clearly desperate to get away from everyone.

Tori _was_ hungry, but she was also comfortable. “What do you want? I’ll grab it for you,” Jade offered quietly.

Tori sighed, because having Jade here, looking out for her, had been a dream. But the funeral was over. All that was left was going over the will in the morning. She supposed they’d have to get back to their regular life, as the kind of friends who were neighbors, but who took care of themselves. “No, it’s okay. I’m getting up,” Tori sighed, and with great effort, she got up off the couch, offering Jade a hand to help her up, because in spite of offering to grab food for them both, Jade seemed to be the more couchlocked of the two of them.

As the night wound down, the cannabis began to slowly take people from a relaxed state to sleepy. Jeremy called a WeDriveU for himself and Tiffany, and Sam and Cat, sensing that things were winding down, left around the same time. The goodbyes even for these four were lengthy, with lingering hugs, including the one between her mother and Tiffany that Jeremy had to awkwardly interrupt when their car arrived because Holly _would not stop crying on Tiffany_ and oh god, Tori had to stop considering the implications of this and doing the mental math of _what was happening_ in her mother’s life when she was forty-six?

But then her dad started dozing on the couch, and her mom told him he’d better go upstairs and go to bed. Trina ended up not being far behind, heading upstairs to her air mattress.

Tori, too, was exhausted, and she slumped on the couch, wondering when she might develop the will to go get pillows and blankets for her and Jade to use. But her mom and her Aunt Sonya were sitting at the kitchen table, sorting through a big box of photos and documents, so it wasn’t as if she was going to get any sleep right now, anyway.

“You tired?” Jade asked her quietly, still sitting next to her.

“Yeah,” Tori admitted.

Jade nodded absently, then turned toward the kitchen table, “Holly, where did the pillows and blankets for the couch end up?”

“I think they’re in the laundry room,” Holly frowned.

“Oh, why don’t you take the bed upstairs?” Aunt Sonya offered, “I can tell you two are tired, and Holly and I are going to be up for awhile, I think.”

Holly nodded, “We will. Go on upstairs, girls.”

Tori looked over at Jade, who shrugged and managed to pull herself to her feet, reaching to pull Tori up with her, and the two of them trudged up the stairs to Tori’s childhood bedroom, once again.

-

Back in Tori’s old room, Jade began to process the fact that she didn't have anything to sleep in. She was wearing a dress, which she couldn't wear to bed and that meant she'd only be left in her underwear. And, as close as she and Tori had been all weekend, well...she needed to find something to serve as pajamas.

"Uh, what are you wearing to bed?" she asked.

But Tori was already rummaging through her old dresser. There wasn't much in it, but there appeared to be a drawer full of castoff clothes, similar to what Jade had sorted through on her move back home to LA. "Looks like..." Tori pulled out a purple tank top with a cartoon bunny on it that Jade had never seen before. "This. And..." She produced a pair of nearly threadbare striped boxer shorts. She looked to Jade, then back in the drawer. "I'm not sure there's anything in here that will fit over your giant rack," she said, bluntly.

Jade laughed at the sudden comment. "That's fair."

"Oh!" Tori jabbed her finger in the direction of the extra furniture in the room. "Try Trina's stuff."

There was a light thrill of delight that surged through Jade at the idea of digging through Trina's belongings. She yanked open the top drawer, which was mostly empty, except for three pairs of socks and the manual to a hair dryer. The next drawer held actual clothing items, somewhat of a disappointment in regard to snooping, but a relief when it came to solving the sleepwear situation. "I guess these might work," she said, lifting out a pair of sweatpants. "I just need a shirt--" Oh. A glance at Tori had revealed that she'd just stripped down to her underwear, and while she was facing away from Jade, there was a certain definition in the muscles of her back that made Jade momentarily speechless.

Probably because she was remembering a certain virtual reality experience.

She shook herself out of the moment and looked back in the drawer, settling on a t-shirt that said Desperate Mousewives. "Do I want to know?" she asked, showing it to Tori, who was now dressed in her own pajamas.

"I can't even help you because I don't know what that is." But then Tori stared at it. "Like...the wives are mice?"

That was what Jade had been considering. "I'm too high for this shit," she said, before slipping into the bathroom to undress and change. Once she was dressed for bed (the clothes were a decent fit, actually), she checked the cabinet and, of course, there were multiple dentist-issued toothbrushes, still in the wrapper, under the sink. What was with this family and the toothbrush hoarding? And why was she always benefiting from it?

Since she hadn’t planned to stay the night and didn’t have any underwear for the next morning when the lawyer was scheduled to come read Grandma Jean's will, she washed the ones she'd been wearing in the sink, then hung them to dry over the shower curtain rod. As she finished in the bathroom, Tori took her place, walking through her own bedtime routine. Jade made herself comfortable on "her" side of the bed, the one she'd napped on the other day and the one she'd slept on numerous times during their relationships on the nights she'd stayed over.

Even though the room was overstuffed and she was wearing Trina's clothes, she felt the pull of nostalgia as she settled against the pillows. So many late night conversations had happened here, some that were silly and ultimately about nothing, others that made them realize what they meant to each other, and one on a too-warm August night that should have been an omen of what was to come.

A lot had happened here, a long time ago. Jade knew the past few days had been an exception to their recent progress in being friends, that the closeness and cuddling and hand holding was related to their shared grief and the stress of putting together a funeral.

The idea of one more night to just be there for each other was comforting but also melancholic. Maybe everything was melancholic in the wake of death, though.

Tori re-emerged and shut off the light before joining Jade in bed, lying down and facing her, leaving a small but noticeable stretch of space between them.

"I could literally hear Trina snoring while I was in the bathroom," she commented, adjusting her pillow.

"I thought it was the pipes," replied Jade. She was stoic for a moment, but as soon as Tori dissolved into giggles, she followed suit.

As Tori recovered and settled, her gaze on Jade was visible in the dim ambient light of the room. "I'm really glad you were here for all this."

"Yeah, me too."

"And..." Tori was quiet for several seconds. "I'm glad we've been able to work on this. Us. Being friends. After everything at the reunion, I...honestly, wasn't sure if we could just move past it all but..."

Jade remained silent, taking in what Tori was saying to her. She was glad, too. Having Tori in her life was important, however they managed to make it work. "Yeah," was all she really managed, mostly because she was tired and high, but also because she was thinking about how she'd almost missed all this. If she'd left after the reunion, if she'd never come back to California at all...then what? She drew in a shaky breath and flipped over, not really wanting to cry in front of Tori. Again.

She felt Tori shift on the bed, probably sitting up. "Jade...I didn't mean to make it seem like I...we just have a lot of history and baggage--that we've been working through. But, I really do think we can make friendship work with the right bounda--"

Jade sucked in a breath and forced out, "I'm not crying about that, you idiot. I'm upset about Grandma Jean."

" _Oh_." More movement on the mattress, then Tori's arm slipping around her and pulling her close.

Boundaries. Right. As Jade covered Tori's hand with her own and held it against her chest, right next to the beating of her heart, she decided boundaries could start in the morning.

-

Tori woke up the next morning feeling the comfortable warmth of Jade pressed all along her back, arm tucked securely around her. She didn’t even want to move to try to figure out what time it was, but she assumed it was around when she normally woke up, or maybe a little later, given how high she’d been the night before and how hard she’d slept.

This also meant that she certainly had no reason to get out of bed yet, and she knew she definitely didn’t want to. She’d meant what she said the night before about boundaries, and the last thing she wanted was to muddle the progress they’d made on their friendship with the ways they’d grieved together. Jade seemed to be on board with that, as Tori suspected she might be. Things couldn’t be allowed to go too far between them, because the last thing Tori wanted was to hurt Jade again.

But here and now, awake early, in Jade’s arms, Tori set all of that aside and kept her eyes closed, basking in the closeness she knew they’d be setting aside later today. For as much sex and kink play Tori had in her life, which satisfied many of her needs, this was something she missed: the intimacy of being held, of cuddling, of touch.

She let herself enjoy it harmlessly, keeping still so as not to wake Jade up, listening to her slow breaths.

Tori didn’t quite drift back to sleep, but she was so relaxed that when she heard Trina thumping around in the bathroom, she actually jumped a little. She felt Jade’s arm tighten around her, but Jade was stirring slightly. Tori was about to chuckle at the familiarity of the moment, the two of them being woken up by Trina being loud in the bathroom, when the bathroom door burst open and Trina was abruptly in her room, holding some black fabric in her hand. Tori started hard, hand to her chest, and Jade let go of Tori and rolled onto her back with a groan.

“ _Someone_ left their underwear in the bathroom,” Trina announced, flinging the black silky panties onto the bed. They landed in Tori’s lap.

Tori looked at them, picking them up and offering them to Jade, “Yours?”

“Yeah. Washed them in the sink,” she said tiredly, already beginning to get out of bed.

Trina was still standing in the bedroom, looking at them both keenly. Tori braced herself for whatever Trina had to say about the closeness the two of them were sharing, but instead what came out of her mouth was an abrupt, “Do you think our moms had sex?”

“ _Oh my god, Trina_!” Tori groaned, flopping back onto her pillows, “ _Why_?”

“I haven't had coffee yet, and also, I refuse to think about it,” Jade replied sharply, tugging and straightening the sheets and bedspread back into place..

Tori sat back up as Trina gasped, and saw she was pointing at Jade, “Are those _my_ sweatpants? _Are you wearing them without underwear_?!”

Jade raised her eyebrows, standing with her hands on her hips, “Considering my underwear is there…” she gestured to where Tori was still holding them. Blushing, Tori set them down on the bedspread on Jade’s side of the bed. “What do you think?”

Trina looked disturbed, “You’re keeping those,” she said firmly.

Jade laughed, “No, thank you, they’re not that nice.”

“Well, I don’t want them back,” Trina insisted.

“ _Trina_ ,” Tori said finally, “Get out of my room! Or, the guest room, _whatever_!”

Trina rolled her eyes, “Whatever,” she repeated, but she walked through the bathroom and back into the workout room.

“Well, that was a blast from the past,” Jade drawled.

“Understatement,” Tori sighed, “Want to take the first shower? I’ll find something you can wear and see if anyone started coffee.”

Jade nodded absently, grabbing her underwear and bra, and stepped into the bathroom. Tori headed downstairs, where her aunt was awake but looked like she hadn’t quite gotten up from the couch yet, and her dad was sitting at the breakfast table.

“Morning,” he greeted, subdued, watching as Tori filled two coffee mugs. “You and Jade both awake?”

“Yeah,” Tori replied, “We’ll be down for breakfast in a little bit.”

David nodded absently, “Jade’s planning to stay for the reading of the will, right?”

“I think so,” Tori paused before heading back upstairs, “We drove here together, so…”

“Make sure, because she’s on the list of those specifically mentioned.”

Tori nodded, “I will,” and headed back upstairs.

She searched through the two dressers and the closet, trying to find clothes that she and Jade could wear, at least until they got back home. She found a pair of Trina’s old yoga pants that should fit Jade and a pair of her old jeans with a few holes in them that she figured she could get away with wearing for a few hours. She wished she’d considered Jade’s idea of washing her underwear in the sink, because it looked like she might be going commando today. Hanging in the back of the closet she found two t-shirts that would likely fit Jade’s boobs; she’d just wear whichever one Jade didn’t choose.

Jade came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel but clearly wearing her bra and, Tori presumed, her underwear. “Coffee is there,” she pointed to the desk next to the bathroom door where she’d left Jade’s cup.

Jade brought it to her mouth and sipped it. “That reminds me,” she said, “Can I have one of these desks for the guest house?”

Tori blinked, “Fine by me, my parents would probably be glad to get rid of it. But more importantly,” she gestured to the two t-shirts, spread out on the end of the bed so Jade could see them clearly, “Which one of these do you want to wear today?” she asked.

Jade’s eyes flicked between them, to the pink one that said _California Science Center_ in black lettering and to the dark blue one that said _I <3 Crustaceans_ in red and white. “Wow,” she deadpanned, “How can I choose?” She took a moment, then said, “Why do you even have these?”

“The Science Center one was free from a middle school field trip, and I got the other one at the aquarium. They didn’t have my size, but it was too good for me to pass up,” Tori explained.

“Then I guess it’s too good for me to pass up, too. I’ll take the crustaceans,” Jade decided, though she shook her head. “Nerd.”

Tori could only shrug in response, and took the jeans and the Science Center t-shirt into the bathroom with her so she could shower.

When she came out, dressed in her scrounged outfit, she found Jade sitting at her old desk, coffee mug tipped fully over her mouth. “I think this desk is the one I want,” Jade declared, smoothing her hand over the top of it.

Tori looked at it. It was relatively small and light. “I think it’ll fit in my car if I push the back seats down.” She picked up her own coffee mug and took a sip. “Oh, by the way. Dad wanted to make sure you were staying for the reading of the will since your name is on it.” Jade just nodded, and Tori prompted, “Ready for more coffee?”

“Definitely,” Jade stood up from the desk.

They headed downstairs to find that Tori’s mom was now at the table, Aunt Sonya was definitely awake, and Trina was standing in the kitchen, nursing her own mug of coffee. Trina eyed them, “What on earth are you wearing?”

“This was what was upstairs,” Tori replied, slightly irritably, “It’s not like either of us planned to stay the night.”

“Okay,” Trina replied, dropping her pitch mockingly.

David regarded them with interest, “I like crustaceans,” he offered.

“You know what?” Jade was already over at the coffee pot, pouring herself another cup, “So do I. Best thing to come out of the ocean. And you know how I feel about the ocean.”

Tori was gradually becoming aware that everyone else was dressed...kind of nice. Not like they were at the funeral yesterday, but they were certainly more put-together than she or Jade, who looked like they were dressed to go paint a house or something.

Trina was watching Jade again, “Are those my pants, too?”

“Probably,” Jade replied, “But I’m wearing underwear this time.” Tori didn’t miss the way her mom and her aunt exchanged a bemused glance at this.

They took some time to eat some breakfast and drink a little more coffee, and then Tori’s dad helped them carry the desk from the guest room downstairs and load it into Tori’s car while they were still waiting for the lawyer to arrive. Once he was present, they all gathered around the kitchen table, with Aunt Sonia getting Eric and Aspen on video chat while they were on their breaks at work.

“You’re here for this, too?” Trina asked Jade skeptically.

“She’s on the list,” Holly explained.

“Yeah, she left me a box of film memorabilia,” Jade explained, “I already have it, but she said it was in the will, so,” she shrugged, took another sip of coffee. Trina was still watching her sourly, as if Jade were taking over her inheritance.

The lawyer covered Eric and Aspen’s share first, so that they could both get back to work. Along with some specific items earmarked for her cousins, they were to inherit money, which was intended to keep things simple, as they weren’t local. Her cousins were both happy to hear about some of the personal effects they’d be receiving, and hung up to get back to work shortly thereafter.

Then it was time to delve into everyone else. Tori didn’t really know what to expect, and half paid attention to the lawyer walking through the various specifics and vagueries of what Grandma Jean had left to Holly and Sonya. Both sisters seemed satisfied, squeezing each others’ hands as they sat together and listened.

But then, Tori was jolted back to reality as the lawyer said, “To my granddaughter Tori Vega and my young friend Jade West--” There was only a moment for them to exchange a glance before the rest of the words flooded through Tori, “I leave the property at 4269 Elizondo Avenue.”

Tori’s mouth dropped open.

-

Jade was numb. Nothing about this made any sense. When the hell had Grandma Jean written this will? She had so many questions, but all she could do was sit dumbly, and listen to the lawyer read off some other minor things that Tori was getting and mentioned the box that Jade already had. She turned to look at Tori after a long moment, wondering if Tori was making any more sense of this than she was, but Tori’s expression was just as baffled.

Jade vaguely registered that the lawyer was talking to Trina, something about “the storage unit in Sherman Oaks, the contents within to be either retained or liquidated as desired.”

“She wants me to _clean out her storage unit_ and _Tori and Jade got a house_?!” Trina shrieked.

It was becoming clear that the reading of the will was winding down, and Jade still hadn’t said a single word. Neither had Tori. But Trina sure had a lot to say.

As the lawyer left, and the table began to devolve into chaos, Jade thought they’d maybe better make their escape. She turned to Tori, “I have...a thing this afternoon,” she said.

Tori nodded, “Right, okay. Mom, we’re going to go. Jade has work later.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Holly said absently, her attention still mostly on Trina, who was clearly frustrated and who David was trying to calm down.

Tori and Jade slipped out while the shouting was still happening. Jade didn’t pay much attention to what Trina was ranting about, but it did seem to mostly be about whatever was personal between herself and Grandma Jean and not wanting the responsibility of the storage unit rather than all about what she and Tori had inherited. But as they slid into Tori’s car and began to drive back home, it began to sink in that they were really going _home_. As in, to a place they both _owned_. Or would, as soon as whatever necessarily paperwork was signed.

“So,” Jade started, “We’re homeowners.”

Tori shook her head, “I guess so.”

They were quiet for a moment. Then Jade said, “What should we do?”

“I really don’t know,” Tori replied honestly, “I’d offer to buy you out, but...I don’t really have that kind of money.”

“Neither do I,” Jade shook her head. She watched Tori as she drove, her brows constricted over her glasses, looking thoughtful and concerned. But actually, it wasn’t something Jade had the bandwidth to consider at the moment. She’d really just moved into the guest house a couple of months ago, and the knowledge that she was _secure_ in her housing, at least for now, was a load off her shoulders. “We don’t really have to do anything,” she suggested.

Tori glanced at her, “What do you mean?”

“I just mean, we can keep things the way they are for now,” Jade replied, “It’s working for us, and this...doesn’t really change anything about our daily life, you know?”

Tori nodded, “That’s true.”

“And we can like...reassess in six months or a year or whatever, and decide whether we need to change anything about our arrangement. Or one of us can buy the other out or whatever, we’ll see.”

“Okay,” Tori said slowly, “That’s fine with me if it’s fine with you.”

“Although,” Jade turned in her seat a little, “Since the property is now half mine...maybe you should let me use that fancy shower of yours.”

“I thought we were keeping things the same,” Tori said quickly.

“Relax,” Jade laughed, “We will.”

Tori drove in silence for a stretch, and then finally voiced what Jade knew she’d been wondering, too. “What do you think Grandma Jean was thinking?”

Jade shook her head, “I have no idea. When did she even write this will?”

“I don’t know,” Tori replied, “I just...I can’t imagine why…” she trailed off.

Jade smirked, “Trina was pretty mad about it.”

Tori laughed, “Yeah, she was.”

“Grandma Jean messed with her one last time from beyond the grave,” Jade grinned, letting her thoughts drift nostalgically to her memories of her friend.

And then, she was laughing, and so was Tori, and it was cathartic relief as they made their way home.

-

The next morning, she and Jade went to meet with the probate lawyer to sign the executor’s deed that made Tori and Jade the legal, official owners of what had for so long been Grandma Jean’s house. For Tori, it barely felt any different, because she’d been living in the house for so long anyway, and had already renovated it to her liking. She’d made a long-term investment in it, though that was mostly because she thought Grandma Jean was going to be around for _much_ longer rather than anticipating inheriting the place.

On the drive back home, Jade was quiet. Tori had been trying to read her mood all morning, but Jade wasn’t revealing much. Knowing Jade and how she operated, and the fact that they were being pushed back into their normal lives, in which Jade no longer had to focus on how Tori was doing, she thought Jade might be doing some grieving of her own at this point.

But then, out of nowhere, Jade asked, “Do you think I could borrow one of your 360 cameras?”

Tori was a little surprised, “I don’t see why not,” she said.

Jade had another question, “Do you think I could use your space at Moustache Media to film something?”

“Most likely, yes. We’ll just have to work out a time.”

“If I film something, would you be in it?”

Tori grinned, “Of course,” she replied. “You know these are all things I’d be happy to help you with, right?”

“I guess,” Jade said, “I mean, I just have an idea I think I can work into a short, but it’s mostly going to be a glorified camera test. You know, see what these cameras are capable of. I can probably get my friend Chandra involved, maybe see if Sam and Cat can work as crew.”

“I can have Sinjin come and show you some of the specifics with the cameras. He knows more than I do,” Tori offered.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yeah. I'd love to meet with Sinjin."

"Great, I'll set you guys up."

Jade groaned. "When you say it like that, it sounds like a date."

"Well, you did want to get back out there," Tori teased.

"Yeah...he's not so much my type, at this point in life. Or ever."

They made a plan to coordinate a day during the next week for Jade's glorified camera test (which Tori knew was a huge understatement, whatever Jade was planning would be interesting and creative and unique). She also suspected this was Jade's method of coping with her grief and, honestly, maybe about adjusting to their newly established friendship. Tori knew she herself might need to focus on a project of her own as they came off of the tactile closeness of these last several days, just to make sure the boundaries that had been laid out were clear.

A couple of days later, Tori was over at Cat’s, getting a rather drab gray suit fitted for use in Jade’s project. She was still working on the complete script, but Tori knew enough to know that it would feature a police detective, probably so she could just use the Pedesko setup at without having to mess with a lot. She was also very clear that she was looking for a decidedly different officer than Pedesko, and Tori was kind of excited to try a new role for the first time in a while. A relatively basic detective’s pantsuit (that fit well) would help with that.

She stood and let Cat measure and stick pins in the suit. Sam was out somewhere, apparently working on some scheme with Dice, so it was just her and Cat in the apartment.

And once the pleasantries were handled, Cat got right to the point, as she was wont to do. “So,” she said slyly, “I heard that you and Jade had sex.”

Tori forced out a laugh, her heart thrumming faster, “Well, we did date for years, so…”

Cat frowned and shot Tori a concerned look, “I meant recently. In the yard?”

So, she did definitely know about it. Tori assumed so, but, “How do you know about that?”

Cat shrugged, “Sam told me. Jade told her.”

“Right,” Tori sighed, “So, what do you know about it?”

“Just that it was sad, because of your grandmother, but also good, because it was you two, and that you guys are just friends. Supporting each other through a difficult time.”

Tori deflated slightly. Right. _Friends_. Hearing the boundary she herself had been careful to erect repeated back to her somehow stung. “That about sums it up,” Tori said heavily.

They were both quiet for a moment, and then Cat said, “And now you guys own a house, huh?”

Okay, how had _that_ gotten out? She hadn’t talked about it to anyone else yet. She was inclined to blame Trina. “We do. We both inherited my grandma’s house.”

“Is that going to be hard for you guys?” Cat wondered.

“In what way?”

“Because you guys both still have feelings for each other and now you basically live together. I know that it was hard when Sam and I were still figuring out what we meant to each other and we were already living together.” A small smile, “Hard, but also really great.”

“I don’t--” Tori started, wanting to refute what Cat was saying, “I don’t know that Jade still has feelings,” she protested finally, “And even if she did, she definitely wouldn’t want to be with me again, after I hurt her so badly last time.”

Cat didn’t respond to this, and instead asked, “When _did_ you and Jade fall in love?”

“ _What_?” Tori was mildly thrown.

“Because it wasn’t Yerba, but you guys still didn’t tell me.”

“I…” Tori trailed off, letting the memories of dancing on the overlook, and swaying in Jade’s arms on top of the school wash over her, once again. “It wasn’t one moment. It happened over a long time.” She thought about helping Jade put up _Well Wishes_ , about kissing in her car, about learning to say _I love you_ as Walter and Nancy and making it sound natural, about the Platinum Music Awards, and Jade giving up her own shot at fame to hand it over to Tori. “But we both knew the night of the Full Moon Jam, when she sang to me,” she revealed.

Cat nodded slowly. “I know the exact moment I fell in love with Sam,” she revealed. “Even when parts of my memory can be weird sometimes, this one is clear as day.”

“When?” Tori asked curiously.

A soft smile spread over Cat’s features, and her eyes turned warm and dreamy. “We’d only just started living together. And we found out that we both loved _That’s a Drag_.”

Tori chuckled, “That show was hilarious.”

“I know!” Cat exclaimed, “But then it got canceled. And I was so sad. And then Sam went to the set and tricked all the workers into bringing all the furniture here.” She took in a breath, grinning sweetly. “And that’s when I knew,” she said simply, “It was a long time before we figured out what that meant for us and how we could become a healthy couple, but...I knew it was worth it, from that moment.”

Tori looked around at the furniture in Cat’s apartment, as if seeing it for the first time. “Wait. _Wait_. This is from the _actual_ set of _That’s a Drag_?!”

Cat nodded, “Yep,” she chirped happily, “Except for a couple of things we’ve had to replace. Sam’s strong and not always careful,” she revealed.

“Okay, I knew it looked familiar, and I kind of assumed the couch, at least, was a replica, but it’s _the real furniture_?!” Tori’s mind was blown. How had she never known that Sam had done this unbelievably sweet thing for Cat, so soon after getting to know her? But then, with Cat, it might’ve sounded like just the kind of baffling story that made them all exchange bewildered glances, back in high school. Maybe she’d just totally discounted it.

But then the conversation shifted suddenly, “If you know when you fell in love with Jade, when did you fall out of love with her?”

Tori’s mind went blank, and she couldn’t speak for a long moment. “I don’t know,” she said quietly, because she _literally_ couldn’t even think about this, couldn’t even make sense of it. Because the months after the breakup--after she accepted the breakup, especially--were such a blur that Tori couldn’t even think about when she might’ve fully let Jade go.

Cat waited to see if she was going to say anything else, but when it was clear she wasn’t, Cat said, “Sorry if I put you on the spot. We can talk about something else. I actually wanted to ask you for some advice.”

“It’s okay,” Tori said, throat dry, shifting her headspace from Jade and into a more Pleasure Professor-esque one, getting ready to focus on what Cat needed. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well,” Cat started. She was behind Tori now, so Tori couldn’t get any clues from her expression as she began to speak, “You know about how Sam and my relationship works, right?” she asked.

“Pretty sure I know most of it,” Tori replied.

“Yeah, okay. So Patrice helped us figure out what worked for us, and it’s been working really well for a long time, but lately, especially these past few years where I’ve really been feeling good and my medication has really been working, I’ve been...maybe wanting things to...change a little.”

“What do you mean?” Tori asked.

“I--I mean. She’s really good at keeping me satisfied, but I...was never comfortable...the other way. But now I kind of...feel like I could be more comfortable, and I want to explore that.” Tori glanced over her shoulder to see that Cat was bright red. “Face the front!” Cat commanded quickly, eyes wide in horror as she realized Tori saw her.

“Sorry,” Tori said, turning back around.

“I’m working here,” Cat mumbled, and Tori felt little tugs on her suit, though she was sure Cat just had nervous hands.

“Well, what’s the problem with you wanting to explore that?” Tori asked.

“I just mean...I can’t talk about it with her. And sometimes when I try to...t-touch her, she freezes up, because she doesn’t want me to do something I don’t want to do.” Cat’s voice was speeding up and rising in pitch, betraying her anxiety. “But I do want to do it and I don’t know how to tell her because my voice like, disappears. And we worked it out so she sees other women so she can get what I can’t give her, and also because we both like it, but I don’t want to take that away from her if she still wants that even though I w-want--” Cat broke off.

“Sounds like maybe you guys need to schedule another session with Patrice,” Tori suggested quietly.

“Probably,” Cat said, sounding miserably frustrated.

Tori wanted to give her _something_ , since Cat had just unloaded all this on her and it was clearly difficult for her. She thought about what she knew about her friends. The primalistic foreplay. The way Sam, it seemed, would literally do anything for Cat. How new and scary some of this was for Cat. Tori didn’t know the exact source of Cat’s hesitation around reciprocation--like anything related to sex, Cat wasn’t particularly articulate about it, not that they’d directly discussed it. But she knew enough about mental illness itself and the side effects of certain medications that could impact people’s libidos, and that, just in general, sexuality changed over the lifespan.

But Cat had always had trouble expressing herself, even romantically, when she was younger. Tori considered something that could help Sam and Cat build a nonverbal vocabulary around intimacy.

“Cat, correct me if I’m wrong, but...you like it when Sam chases you around, right? Like, the animalistic play?”

She still couldn’t see Cat, but it was almost like she _heard_ her perk up before she even spoke, “Ooh. Yes, I love that.”

Tori nodded thoughtfully, “I think that, when you go see Patrice, you should consider discussing pet play.”

“What’s that?” Cat asked.

“It can mean different things for different people,” Tori explained, “And though I don’t know if a lot of the practices would be relevant to you and Sam, I think that the idea of it might help you. Because animals don’t have to speak, they _can’t_ speak, so playing as an animal might give you the freedom to give Sam nonverbal cues about what you want. So she knows that you want to reciprocate without you having to say it out loud.”

Cat was quiet for a moment, but then she circled around in front of Tori, gaze still focused on the fabric of the suit. She was still pink, and Tori even thought she might be trembling a little, but her eyes were less frantic. “So, if I were her _pet_ , I could be her...pet cat..” she giggled, “Pet _cat_ ,” she uttered, then grew more serious again, “And as a cat…”

“You can talk about what that might look like,” Tori encouraged, “But cats don’t talk. And they’re very playful. So it could just be as simple as, you put on a collar, and that means you’re a cat, and you two can decide what you’re communicating when you’re in that state, like, what you’re interested in.” It was similar to the light primal foreplay she knew Cat enjoyed, but less intense, and would maybe give Cat more freedom in how she expressed herself in an animalistic way.

Cat was grinning softly now, her full-face flush receding but her cheeks staying pink. “I like playful,” she said softly, “I’ll call Patrice. I think I might like the idea of being a cat.” She giggled again. “A _cat_ ,” she repeated.

“And as for the other part, about Sam seeing other women?” Tori began. Cat nodded, glancing up at Tori briefly to show she was listening. “Sam would literally do anything for you,” she said succinctly, watching Cat duck her head, smiling fully. “The two of you can talk about whether her needs change when you’re more willing to reciprocate, but I _really_ don’t think you’re going to disappoint her with this.”

“You’re probably right,” Cat replied quietly, “Thanks, Tori. I think I’m almost done with this suit, and then we’ll get you out of it.”

When Tori got home, Jade’s car was in the driveway. She headed toward the back of the house, intent on knocking on the guest house door to report that Cat had prepared the suit costume for modification, but as soon as she stepped out onto the patio, she stopped.

Because there was Jade, in shorts, sunglasses, a bikini top, and a long-sleeved linen beach top, standing next to what was unmistakably an above-ground jacuzzi, garden hose in hand, filling it.

“Hey, Tori,” she greeted, flashing a grin.

Tori stared. “What is this?”

“What’s it look like?”

“It looks like a jacuzzi. In the backyard.”

“In _our_ backyard,” Jade corrected.

Tori sputtered, slightly, trying to figure out how to even express her shock, “Why? How? _What_?”

Jade shrugged, “I was saving money, you know, in case I needed to make a down payment someplace in the future. But now that I’m a homeowner…” Jade grinned, and gestured broadly to the hot tub she was filling, “I figured, why not? I’ve always wanted a jacuzzi.”

“But this is _my_ backyard, too,” Tori uttered.

“Tori, all we do with this yard is you do yoga, and I mow it.” Jade looked away, ostensibly checking the water level in the jacuzzi, but Tori felt her ears get warm as she was fairly certain they were _both_ thinking _and leer at each other, and, oh yeah, fuck on it while drunk and devastated_. “And as the one who mows it,” Jade carried on gamely, “I think that I should have some say in how much square footage of grass I’m responsible for.”

“I’m not _opposed_ to the jacuzzi, Jade,” Tori said reasonably, finally pinpointing what had thrown her off so badly about this, “I’d just appreciate it if you’d _consult_ me about major home purchases in the future.”

Jade smirked, “That’s fair,” she agreed.

Tori listened to the water splashing in it, “It’s actually kind of cool. That we have a jacuzzi.”

Jade eyed her over the tops of her sunglasses, “‘We’? I paid for it.”

Tori groaned, “Okay, fine, it’s _your_ jacuzzi, on _our_ property.”

“It’s okay. I’ll let you use it,” Jade said, “ _If_ you let me use the fancy shower in _our_ house.”

“Jade!”

She laughed, “No, seriously, it’s fine. That half of the jacuzzi can be yours,” she gestured to the side that was closest to the main house. “But you can only be in it if you’re quiet.”

“I’m not going to be soup,” Tori raised her eyebrows.

Jade shrugged, “Then I guess you won’t be getting in _my_ jacuzzi very often.”

Tori groaned, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Get your swimsuit on,” Jade suggested, “It’s almost full, and then I just have to let the chemicals settle for a half an hour or so, and then it should be good to go.”

It sounded good to Tori. “All right. Let me know when it’s ready.” She headed inside to handle a few evening tasks and get into her swimsuit.

She wondered if owning a home with Jade would result in any more surprises.

-

It was a lazy Saturday, at least for Jade. She'd had morning coffee with Tori and Hamster before the former headed off to work and the latter lolled around in a sunny patch of grass. Jade was still working her way through the second season of _Whisper Creek_ , but she was trying to use it as a reward system, so she'd currently limited herself to one episode on the nights she had time to watch. For today, she needed to check her gear for the next day's long shoot (a wedding in Long Beach that paid really, really well but also cut into her standing Sunday dinner plans) and then finish her script for the camera test she was shooting the following Saturday.

She'd gotten Chandra on board to play the black widow murderer who would be questioned by Tori's detective character and, after her meeting with Sinjin (which had actually been kind of...fun), she had a good idea of how she wanted to utilize the range of the camera and the space in the studio. This was probably the most straightforward and mainstream concept Jade had developed for herself. There were no ghosts or demons, at least not literal ones. There was definitely murder, though. She couldn't go completely off brand.

By the early afternoon, Jade had cleared her to-do list and wanted to reward herself with some time in her new jacuzzi, but it was best to wait until the sun wasn't directly overhead. She'd already pushed her luck the day it had arrived, managing a pink tinge to her skin anywhere that hadn't been covered.

It was time for lunch, anyway. She made herself a sandwich and parked herself on the couch in front of the television. Maybe it was a good time for _Whisper Creek_. Or maybe she wanted to save it for later. Instead of turning on the TV, she browsed videos on SplashFace until a notification popped up from scissHER. She was actually getting regular message traffic on the app, something she'd kind of just ignored when first joining. But now that it was clear she'd be staying in the guest house...no, _her_ house, for a while, it was probably a good idea to make sure she was dating. Just so there was no confusion about her relationship with Tori. Though...Jade wasn't sure if the clarification was for Tori or herself. All she knew was that she needed to make an effort to put herself out there and to keep her friendship Tori exactly that.

Jade tapped through the profiles of the people who had contacted her. Several were what she'd come to expect: dry, cookie-cutter messages about how nice it would be to meet or shameless messages about how great her tits looked in her picture. But there were a couple that seemed promising. One mentioned possibly meeting to attend a local photography exhibit (not a bad first date idea, tbh) and another had just sent a kind of clever coffee-themed ice-breaker question (single origin or blend?). She replied to the first with curiosity about the showing and the second with an answer and a question of her own (single origin...but the real question is how many sugars?).

Okay, maybe virtually flirting about coffee was nerdy, but it was easier than going out and having to actually talk to someone she didn't know. Another message appeared in her inbox and she kind of hoped it was a reply to what she'd just sent, but the username was Denise J.

The Cat-catfish.

**Hey, gorgeous. How's your day?**

They'd been exchanging messages a few times a week, with Jade still trying to get this person to agree to meet up so she could figure out who was using Cat's photo. But there was still always some excuse not to meet. And when Jade had offered to video chat (and she hated video chatting with all but maybe three people on the planet), Denise had insisted her camera was "acting funky." And then she'd posted three more pictures of Cat, later that same day.

**It's good. 😃**

**Thinking about getting a drink later.**

**Come meet me! 😉**

Jade did have to admit that paying along with the con was fun, like taking on a character. A version of herself that used far too many emojis.

**I'd love that! I can probably be free by seven.**

**Where??**

This has happened before, though it was the first time Denise had actually suggested a time. But then, a minute or so later:

**Oh no, I just remembered, I have to pick up a friend from LAX ☹️☹️☹️**

**Raincheck?**

Jade rolled her eyes. This wasn't even challenging. It was just boring and predictable. Except the part about whoever this person was using her friend's photo on a dating app.

**Aw, too bad. ☹️**

**Maybe next week?**

She closed the app, knowing it would be another empty promise. At least it was one she could look forward to.

-

Sunday morning, Tori and Jade had coffee with Hamster. It was typical for them, quiet companionship. Tori was mentally plotting out her day. Yoga was probably next, before the day warmed too much.

When Jade emptied her last cup of coffee, she finally spoke. “I finished the script last night for the camera test. I’ll email it to you once I go back inside.”

“Sounds good,” Tori nodded, “I’ll make sure to get off-book by tomorrow.”

Jade laughed, “It’s only like, six pages, so I think you’ll manage.”

Still, Tori wanted Jade to know she was taking this seriously. “I’m excited to read it.”

A subdued smile in return. “Good. I guess I’ll see you later? I’m heading out to Long Beach in a little while.”

Tori forced a smile, “I’ll see you when you get back, then.”

Jade had taken a well-paying gig on this particular Sunday, and Tori certainly wasn’t going to begrudge her good money. They’d discussed it and agreed they were both disappointed to miss their weekly dinner, but they’d just been inseparable for half a week, dealing with Grandma Jean’s passing, and besides, Tori was used to her own solitude. She didn’t think it would be _that_ big of a deal to have a Sunday dinner by herself, even if it was for the first time in awhile.

But when Jade left before lunchtime, and Tori considered her day, by herself, with no particular plan, her mood took a bit of a drop.

She’d already done yoga and finished her first pass-through of Jade’s script, so she went to Static Roasters for some more coffee she didn’t particularly need, just to get out of the house for a while. She watched a movie, read the script again and started absorbing her lines, and then began considering what she should cook herself for dinner. She had initially planned to kind of pretend it was a normal Sunday, as much as she could, and make something that she could put leftovers in a container for Jade to enjoy later, but as she dug around her fridge, she found her heart just wasn’t in it.

Besides. If they were supposed to be doing this _boundaries_ thing...maybe it was better to just not do things like save leftovers for her neighbor. Her neighbor who would probably have a chance to eat wedding food that evening, anyway.

Tori ended up ordering pho for delivery, and sat outside at the picnic table with her vape and her dinner, listening to the sounds of her neighborhood--a distant classic rock radio, kids laughing, car engines revving--trying to tap into the experience of solitude in her present moment.

But it was hard to feel very mindful when she was just wishing Jade was there to share a meal with her.

As the sun started to sink toward the horizon, Tori decided to get in the jacuzzi. Because, fuck it, Jade was right, buying it had been a good idea. And Tori didn’t know what else to do with her evening, anyway. Might as well try to relax.

She got into her swimsuit and came back out, slipping into “her” side of the jacuzzi...not that she thought Jade was at all serious about whose side was whose, but it felt right. She let herself relax in the water, the jets hitting her back and shoulders, massaging the tight spots there. She tried to let herself drift into a meditative state, into a contemplation of the present moment, but to her surprise, what came to mind instead was the idea of floating in a bubbling witch’s soup.

She rolled with it. It was surprisingly soothing in the moment, a sort of existential meditation of its own, on death and life and power. It was about giving your body up to the power of someone else, to literally be consumed by them, to be part of a witch’s brew that produced sustenance or magic or both. Tori suspected it was about as close to understanding her submissives as she could get, dwelling in this headspace, and she let herself linger there. A part of her couldn’t help but consider its significance to Jade, but mostly, she just let herself relax.

Until abruptly--

“You’re being soup, aren’t you?”

Tori shrieked, one hand flying to her chest, the other grabbing the side of the jacuzzi to steady herself as she thrashed in the water. Already, Jade was laughing hysterically. “ _Jade_!” she managed, willing her heart to stop pounding. “That’s not funny!”

“It was hilarious from over here,” Jade replied before dissolving into laughter again, grabbing the side of the jacuzzi to steady herself.

Tori splashed at her, just barely, and Jade sprang back, shooting her a dangerous look, “ _Vega_ ,” she warned.

“I didn’t even hear you come home,” Tori admitted.

“I know. Because you were being soup.”

“I was not!” she denied, but she could tell from Jade’s quirked eyebrow that the lie was absolutely detected. “Okay, maybe I was.”

Jade grinned, “Then you’re already following the rules of Jade’s Jacuzzi. I approve.”

Tori sighed, sinking back into the water. “Fine, yes. The jacuzzi was a great idea and we can be soup.”

“I’ll go get changed,” Jade replied.

“Okay, but you’re also telling me about your shoot today!” Tori called after her.

Jade waved a hand over her head. Tori watched her disappear into the guest house. Or...Jade’s house, she supposed.

She couldn’t help but wonder how much owning property together was going to impact the boundaries they were both trying to adhere to. Because in spite of their insistence that nothing had changed, Tori couldn’t help but feel like so much already had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Skinny Love_ by Bon Iver (but the Birdy cover).
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> Jade liked the desk because it was a perfect size and style for what she needed. But it was also formerly Tori Vega's desk, which meant it was white with pink and purple accents, and that wasn't at all in line with her design scheme.
> 
> After a trip to the hardware store, she'd set up a drop cloth out on the grass in preparation to repaint the piece of furniture with the darker tones and better suited her decorative concept. It wasn't quite as dark as what her high school self would have chosen (Hollywood Arts Jade would have demanded black with touches of red), but it was still a very deep shade of green. She'd also purchased a new set of pulls for the drawers, distressed copper to replace the shiny silver butterflies that a young Tori had apparently chosen, once upon a time. As much as they weren't her style, Jade saved the cute drawer knobs in case Tori wanted them for some reason, placing them in a plastic cup on the picnic table.
> 
> She was about to begin painting when she noticed there was something stuck up against the back of one of the drawers. Pulling them free, it became clear it was actually a few things, like a Groovy Smoothie punch card and a receipt for a purchase from the candy store at the Hollywood and Highland mall (for a lot of gummy bears, it seemed). There was also a folded piece of notebook paper. As she opened it, she recognized her own handwriting.
> 
> **UR A NERD**
> 
> **(But I’m into it.)**
> 
> **< 3 Jade**
> 
> **P.S. Is your jacuzzi fixed yet?**
> 
> This had to have been from that stupid phone bet during junior year. That was the only time she really remembered writing Tori notes like this. Yeah, that sounded right, because that would have been around the same time she'd found out about the jacuzzi at the Vega house.
> 
> Well, now she had her own.
> 
> She refolded the note and stuffed it, along with the card and the receipt, into the cup with the butterflies. Tori could decide what she wanted to keep and what she wanted to throw away.


	11. Eight: But the monsters turned out to be just trees, When the sun came up you were looking at me

Finally, Jade had enough of a free afternoon and evening to work on her desk. It wasn’t something she was deliberately putting off, despite what Tori seemed to think when she eyed it during morning coffee and asked if Jade was keeping it. Okay, Jade could _kind of_ understand her question, because it had been sitting out on the patio for a week at this point. But Jade genuinely wanted the desk. She needed a workspace. She just also needed the desk to...look a little bit different.

Jade liked the desk because it was a perfect size and style for what she needed. But it was also formerly Tori Vega's desk, which meant it was white with pink and purple accents, and that wasn't at all in line with her design scheme.

After a trip to the hardware store, she'd set up a drop cloth out on the grass in preparation to repaint the piece of furniture with the darker tones and better suited her decorative concept. It wasn't quite as dark as what her high school self would have chosen (Hollywood Arts Jade would have demanded black with touches of red), but it was still a very deep shade of green to match with the accent wall she’d painted. She'd also purchased a new set of pulls for the drawers, distressed copper to replace the shiny silver butterflies that a young Tori had apparently chosen, once upon a time. As much as they weren't her style, Jade saved the cute drawer knobs in case Tori wanted them for some reason, placing them in a plastic cup on the picnic table.

She was about to begin sanding things down when she noticed there was something stuck up against the back of one of the drawers. Pulling them free, it became clear it was actually a few things, like a Groovy Smoothie punch card and a receipt for a purchase from the candy store at the Hollywood and Highland mall (for a lot of gummy bears, it seemed). There was also a folded piece of notebook paper. As she opened it, she recognized her own handwriting.

**UR A NERD**

**(But I’m into it.)**

**< 3 Jade**

**P.S. Is your jacuzzi fixed yet?**

This had to have been from that stupid phone bet during junior year. That was the only time she really remembered writing Tori notes like this. Yeah, that sounded right, because that would have been around the same time she'd found out about the jacuzzi at the Vega house.

Well, now she had her own.

She refolded the note and stuffed it, along with the card and the receipt, into the cup with the butterflies. Tori could decide what she wanted to keep and what she wanted to throw away.

-

Tori returned home from her only appointment of the day, and though her kitchen window, noticed that Jade was in the yard, working on the desk she’d taken from Tori’s old bedroom last week. At first, Tori was kind of delighted about it, because it had been sitting on the patio since the day after the funeral, and she had specifically avoided pestering Jade about when she might be doing whatever “modifications” she had to do to it before bringing it into her home.

She moved from the window to step out onto the patio, taking in Jade painting the desk. She was wearing...the old clothes Tori had scrounged from her old bedroom the morning of the reading of the will? Her eyes strayed to Jade’s ass in Trina’s old yoga pants, and _okay_ , that wasn’t a phrase that she ever wanted in her head again. Instead, she took in the _I <3 Crustaceans_ shirt, which Jade had tied at her waist in addition to rolling up the sleeves, showing off her arms. She wore her hair pulled back with a painting mask over her face and was clearly engrossed in her work, because she didn’t seem to even notice Tori was there.

Tori began to feel like she was leering. “How’s it going?” she asked.

Maybe Jade did know she was there. Or maybe she was just a lot more difficult to startle than Tori was, because she simply straightened and turned more toward her, “Good, I think,” she replied, “It should coordinate with my accent wall now.”

“That’s good,” Tori stared at the desk, remembering for a moment the way it used to look, how she’d chosen it when she was young in part because she liked the color. It was weird to see it look so different, to see how Jade had shaped it into something of her own. She could see the light shavings of wood and paint beneath the desk, sanded away onto the drop cloth Jade had laid out on the lawn, the remaining dust of what had distinguished the desk as Tori’s.

Jade wiped at her brow with her wrist, then gestured toward the picnic table, where Tori could see various tools and painting implements. “There’s a cup there, with a couple of things from the desk,” she said. “Mostly the old drawer pulls, just in case you wanted them for anything.”

“Thanks,” Tori located the cup Jade indicated. She pulled out one of the little butterflies, her gaze landing on the copper drawer pulls on the table that Jade had evidently selected to replace them. Well, those certainly suited her better.

But there was also a strange, unexplained sense of nostalgia as she held the little butterfly in her palm. She dropped it back in the cup hurriedly, lifting her gaze to see Jade was back to painting.

“I’ll, um. See you later,” she mumbled, heading back into the house. She could also see some papers in the cup among the drawer knobs, and she wondered what could possibly have been left in that drawer. And also, it was _so stupid_ , but something about watching Jade paint that desk had made her sad.

She took the plastic cup into her bedroom with her and dumped the contents on her bedspread, sitting and feeling the weight of the little butterflies in her palm. There was no reason to keep them; they certainly weren’t a style she would select for any of her furniture now, but the idea of throwing them out was difficult for some reason. She turned her attention to the papers. A receipt for the candy store. She certainly didn’t remember the exact incident, but buying a bunch of gummy bears felt like something she and Cat might’ve done to prepare for a sleepover. She crumpled it up.

The Groovy Smoothie punch card was barely worth glancing at, except to note with disappointment that she had only been two punches away from her free smoothie before she’d evidently lost this. Tori turned her attention to the piece of notebook paper, unfolding it carefully.

Her eyes ran over the familiar handwriting, heart dropping into her stomach at the familiar message, absolutely remembering finding this note in her locker. She lingered on the little heart Jade had drawn, remembering abruptly that this was before they’d made their feelings clear to each other, and how she’d attributed so much significance to that little symbol.

Tears welled up in her eyes, unbidden, and ridiculous. She swiped them away angrily and threw the notebook paper down on her bed so that she couldn’t crumple it up. She was just feeling overwhelmed suddenly, at the transformation and appropriation of her old furniture, of the long-forgotten note and the surprising intensity of her feelings about it, of her stupid punch card that she’d been _so close_ to finishing but had ended up lost and abandoned.

It was all ridiculous, she knew, but Tori was feeling emotional about all of it. Maybe it wasn’t so surprising, given that barely a week had passed since Grandma Jean’s funeral. Just because her life had gone back to some sense of normalcy didn’t mean she was finished grieving.

She flopped back onto her pillows and let herself cry for a moment. Maybe she and Jade were too close. Maybe that’s why so much of this was hard to take in, hard to make sense of, hard to adjust to.

Or, something else occurred to her. She wiped at her eyes and checked an app on her PearPhone.

Oh. _Yep_. The funeral had really upset her awareness of the passage of time, because it turned out, her period was just about to start.

That had to be why she was so emotionally volatile right now, especially when she rationally knew there was nothing worth crying about. She was _happy_ Jade was putting her desk to good use. The idea of it fitting into Jade’s home had pleased her, back when they brought it home. She thought it was going to look really cool when Jade was finished with it, and she admired that this was the kind of project Jade could take on, while making it look simple and elegant.

And, weirdly, she was happy that Jade had found that note, and had set it aside for her. She decided everything else she could easily part with, but that note…

Tori sat up and refolded it, following the worn creases into the shape the note had held for probably at least a decade. Not sure what else to do with it, she slipped it into one of the books she was currently reading.

Now that she had an explanation for her random bout of sensitivity, she could move on with her evening.

She wondered if Jade read the note. She wondered if she’d felt anything, if she had.

-

On Wednesday, Sam came over to spend the afternoon helping Jade with pre-production for the camera test. Jade was actively making a strong effort to delegate tasks to her small but effective crew instead of trying to do most of it herself, which was difficult because, other than her feature, that was how Jade had made all of her films. She was used to writing, producing, directing, costuming, prop making, set designing, and sometimes even acting in her own projects. It was how she'd learned a lot of different skills she easily wielded now, but she also knew from her time on _Not My Problem_ that there was value in collaboration and being able to focus on two or three jobs versus ten or more.

Her initial instinct to bring Sam on was partly because she'd wanted Cat to do costumes and, where there was Cat, there was Sam. But also, Sam was experienced with on-camera work and broadcasting, so she knew her way around a set. Once or twice, Sam had reliably shown up, when asked, to one of Jade's film school projects when she'd needed an extra hand, but they'd never directly collaborated on anything other than random and usually improvised SplashFace videos they made on the Venice Boardwalk a decade ago.

For this 360 project, Jade wasn't even sure what she needed, but she knew Sam could help. And it wasn't even until Jade recalled something Cat had said about Sam's drawings that even gave her the idea to talk to Sam about storyboards. Jade could draw (pretty well, at this point) her own storyboards just fine, but having someone else bring their perspective to the table was part of what made cinema what it was: multiple artists merging their ideas and views together to make something.

Not that this was going to be any kind of great art. She really just wanted to see how this kind of setup worked to serve a narrative.

Even though it was early October, the air was still balmy in the midday, so they'd set up on either side of the picnic table, Sam's storyboard sketches laid out between them. Jade had seen Sam's work in the past, so she knew she could draw, but there was a very distinct likeness in the images, both of Tori and Chandra (based on the headshot Jade had sent her).

"These are really fucking good," Jade noted. She probably could match the basic idea of what Sam had done, but there was a certain energy and detail in the lines that she knew she wouldn't have taken the time to include.

"This is all just from my interpretation of the script you sent me, so if you have different ideas, I can rework it." Sam's phone buzzed and she glanced at it, smiled, then cleared the message.

"I think we can work from these. I just wanted to have a good idea of what the scene will look like." Jade picked up one of the sketches and stared into it, trying to imagine it as it would look in the VR.

There was another message on Sam's phone and she checked it, absently saying, "Cat keeps saying it reminds her of a play."

A play. _Fuck_. Why hadn't Jade considered that? This could easily be like sitting on the stage with actors. "That's really goddamn smart," she said. As she glanced back up, she could see that Sam was still on her phone. "Everything okay?"

"Huh?" Sam broke her gaze away from her screen, another lazy smile on her face that dropped when she made eye contact with Jade. "Shit. Sorry. Yeah, no. Things are fine. Really good, actually."

Was Sam _blushing_? "Dude, what's happening to you, right now?" Jade asked, amused and curious.

"Nothing. It's just Cat."

"Yeah, I've seen you get happy texts from Cat a million times and you've never done this," Jade waved a hand at her.

"You really want to know?"

Okay, usually Sam just straight up opened with wild stories about sexual adventures and didn't bat an eye. "Oh, chiz, now I know this is good."

"So, you know how Cat and I do things..."

"I'm assuming you mean in the bedroom."

"Yeah. And that's been just right for us for a long time. But then last week, she says to me that she wants to call Patrice."

"Of course, because what's anyone's sex life without Patrice being involved," Jade commented, though she realized that sounded harsh and she hadn't really meant it that way. "I mean, honestly, I probably owe her thanks for anything Tori and I did in high school, so...whatever, keep going."

Sam's raised brows finally dropped as she continued. "Apparently, Tori mentioned something about pet play to her?"

"What, like where someone pretends to be a puppy?" That wasn't really a shock when it came to Cat. She'd always been kind of like a pet who needed care and attention, at least back when they were younger.

"That's what I thought! But, apparently it's like a whole spectrum of stuff. Like people are ponies pulling their masters in carts and wild shit like that. Which...that's not what Cat's into. I mean, I'd do it, if she wanted to, but honestly that feels like it'd be backwards if she were the pony. Like, if anyone's a horse, it's me, I guess. I don't know."

"So, you're not doing the pony horse thing," Jade concluded.

"Nah. We're, um..." There was a shyness in Sam that was foreign to Jade.

"You don't have to tell me."

Sam shook her head. "But I do, because you're my guy in all this. And Cat knows we talk."

Jade understood what she meant. These talks were always a way to sort things out more than they ever were to brag about sexual conquests. "You can give me an abbreviated version, if that helps."

"Okay, so basically, I found out that Cat's been interested in...doing more? This whole time, it's been me giving her what she needs and then me going out to get mine." Sam hesitated, as if unsure about how much context to offer Jade. “Well, sometimes after I, like, get her off, I’ll take care of myself while she’s right there because she’s been into that--”

“I honestly don’t need a full play-by-play.”

“Right. Yeah. Anyway, the point is that I have a lot of sex without Cat.”

"Yeah, I've deleted so many pictures of strange women's breasts off my phone because of all this."

"You _delete_ them?!"

"After I see them once, I don't need to keep them."

Sam eyed her. "We're such different people." She shook her head in mild disappointment. "Anyway, uh, so it comes out that she wants to, you know, give Mama a little attention once in a while." Jade tried not to read too much into the title, as she knew Sam referred to herself that way in just about any context. Still, she didn't need to know every minute detail about the sex life of her best friends. "But she's not sure how to say it, for a ton of reasons that we're still working on."

"And this somehow ties into the pet thing?" It must, if that was Tori's suggestion. It was kind of fascinating to see how Tori's mind worked when it came to this stuff, making connections Jade would have never, in a million years, thought of. She supposed that was why Tori had an entire career centered around it.

"Yeah, so we're trying this thing where Cat is a cat. Like, she has this little pink collar and, when she's feeling particularly...uh, well...horny, she puts it on. And then I know she's looking to literally pounce on me without having to say anything. Which she did. The very first night. Right on the couch."

"I'm...proud of you guys?" Jade offered.

"Only took me like five minutes, too," Sam disclosed.

"That's...more information than I needed."

"Sorry, I'm just...I love her so much and this was a helluva surprise." Sam’s expression was one of happy relief. Jade considered the reality of what Sam had just told her. These two had been in a relationship (and a fairly happy, healthy one, at that) where having what was usually considered an average sexual relationship together was the surprising part. Sure, the pet play element was something different, but the end result was Sam and Cat finding a connection with each other that most people (including Jade) generally took for granted. "And it's not just the sex, it's a chance for her to just be affectionate without words, I guess. Like lying in my lap and whatever. Some stuff I read said that people get off on correcting the pets, but cats kind of do whatever they want so...that's what Cat does? Maybe it sounds weird--"

"In all the stories you've told me in the last decade, this is probably one of the most normal sounding things to come out of your mouth. Especially in regard to Cat."

Sam's phone buzzed once again and she replied to the message with another broad grin on her face before setting it, face down. "Enough about me getting laid, let's talk about this movie."

"Camera test."

"Shut up, it's a movie. Deal with it."

Friday evening, Jade was in her jacuzzi, trying to relax her body as her mind ran through the details of the next day’s shoot. It had been awhile since she’d had to do the kind of preparation to film something that she’d been working on, and honestly, it felt _good_ , especially having this particular group ready and able to help.

She found herself thinking about her script, and the lines she’d written, and she was so deep in her head that it actually took a moment to realize that it was because she was actually _hearing_ the lines, because Tori was in her bedroom, reciting them, and Jade could hear her through her open window. She smiled softly, letting her arms sink into the hot water of the jacuzzi and just _listening_ for a moment, hearing Tori recite the lines _she’d_ written.

It felt really good to be in charge of something, to have multiple people focusing their energy on what Jade wanted, what she was trying to accomplish.

Tori was quiet, now, apparently finished running her lines, and Jade closed her eyes, but her mind was really too active to pretend to be soup. She was dwelling on her shoot, on her anticipation of being in control of a set, however small.

But she heard when, a few minutes later, the back door to Tori’s house opened, and Jade looked over to see her walking out onto the patio. “I’m going to my workshop,” Tori told her, “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. I’m ready for tomorrow, though.”

“I know,” Jade smiled, “I could hear you. You sound great.”

Tori grinned, gaze dropping slightly, “Thanks. I’m excited to work with you on this.”

In spite of Jade continuously referring to this as a “glorified camera test,” she was feeling that anticipation, too, that always built before a project. She’d missed it. “Me, too,” she told Tori honestly, watching the way Tori seemed to still be glowing from Jade’s simple praise.

Tori met her eye again, just for a moment, “I’ll see you later, or tomorrow, I guess,” she said.

“Have a good workshop,” Jade told her, watching Tori turn and head back into her house. Moments later, she barely heard Tori starting her car at the front of her house, and driving away.

Jade had been in the jacuzzi for a while now, and it felt like time to get out. She was still riding the high of knowing she was about to be in charge of a set again for the first time in a _long_ time as she headed inside and showered.

But as she rinsed off, she thought about how she was going to be working in Officer Pedesko’s set, and she wondered if that might... _complicate_ things for her, a little bit. She hadn’t dwelled on it too much, because the detective she’d written for Tori to play had a very different energy (and just listening to her run her lines, she could already tell Tori was taking it in a direction she liked a lot), and making the Pedesko set her own seemed like it might change the context enough.

But Jade also couldn’t afford to be flustered. Maybe it would be a good idea to get Pedesko out of her head before tomorrow. Tori was gone for the evening, and would be for a while. Maybe it would be a good time to pull out her VR headset.

Jade got out of the shower and dried off, not bothering to redress as she glanced out the window to make sure no one was in the yard for some inexplicable reason. She made sure her door was locked and gathered her headset and her vibrator and retreated to the bedroom nook, closing the curtain door, giving herself as much privacy as possible.

As Jade navigated to the Virtual Encounters website, she realized abruptly that she had likely been billed for another month since she signed up. Damn it, she needed to remember to cancel her membership. But maybe it was good, because she wanted access now. She navigated to the Officer Pedesko page and, heart thrumming, tried to decide between a voyeuristic scene or an immersive one.

She decided on a voyeuristic one, because it seemed like it might be...less complicated than having Tori’s persona in her face, as intense as that had been last time she watched it. She selected one where the video preview showed a woman being searched bent over the police car. She hadn’t even seen the police car last time she’d watched one of these videos, and maybe letting herself get a sense of this whole space in VR, before working on it tomorrow, would also help her. Some research to go along with her pleasure, as it were.

Jade started the video, watching as Officer Pedesko and another porn star (Jade assumed), this one wearing some kind of fancy lingerie (really, was Pedesko in Vice or something? What was the narrative here?) appeared in front of her. Pedesko had the other woman’s arms pulled behind her, making her thrust her chest out as she walked her toward the front of the police car.

“Hands on the hood,” Pedesko commanded, voice full of authority. Jade felt warmth stirring in her body at the sound, letting her fingers trail down her body, teasing herself, letting her fingertips swirl gently over her clit.

The porn star moaned, “Oh, Officer, what have I done?”

“You know what you did!” growled Pedesko, taking her nightstick and pressing it against the woman’s shoulder blades, forcing her to sink down, placing her hands on the hood of the car. Then there was the nightstick, running up her inner thighs, parting her legs.

And stopping, just between the porn star’s legs. The woman gasped, hips shifting lewdly for a moment, before Officer Pedesko came up behind her, hovering over her, not even touching her and murmuring, “Cooperative, aren’t you?”

All at once, the sense memory came flooding back, of her bending over that car, teasing about this _very scenario_ , and Tori coming up behind her. Jade took a steadying breath. She was already getting drawn into this, already _definitely_ aroused, feeling wetness against her fingers. She turned on her vibrator, selecting the setting she favored, staring as Officer Pedesko began to slowly touch every inch of the other woman’s body, making her writhe. Jade felt her own body squirm in reaction, watching familiar hands move over soft skin, soft curves. Her hips lifted, chasing the sensation of the vibrator she held just next to her clit.

And then Officer Pedesko was drawing out the nightstick again, tracing along the woman’s side with it, and leaning forward to grasp a handful of the woman’s hair, tugging, but not jerking. The woman moaned, arching back against Pedesko, who slipped the nightstick between their hips, where their bodies connected. “You’re going to give me what I want, aren’t you?” Pedesko asked the porn star.

“Y-yes,” she moaned, back arching further, ass pressing back against the nightstick.

Officer Pedesko _smirked_. Jade inhaled sharply, almost forgetting for a moment that no one could hear her. _Fuck_. She felt her body growing hot, her arousal coiling, her other hand pressing flat against the mattress next to her, bracing herself as she started to get close.

Abruptly, Pedesko stood, sliding the nightstick away and slipping it into her belt again before pulling the porn star to her feet.

But then, with no warning, dark eyes locked with Jade’s, and Jade’s whole body clenched up _hard_. Pedesko shot her a predatory grin, “I hope you were watching carefully, because you’re next,” she purred.

Jade’s eyes slammed shut as she came, jolting and undulating and writhing on her bed, fingers digging into the sheet next to her, and she knew she was crying out, but she could barely hear herself. As her body subsided into slow shakes, she used her free hand to pull the VR headset off, blinking into the daylight in her bedroom, taking in a huge breath. That was--but oh, wait, she was coming _again_ , or maybe _still_ coming, and she let the vibrator make contact between her legs again, inviting another wave of explosive sensation throughout her whole body and throaty cries from her lips.

Maybe it was because it had been awhile since she’d had an orgasm, what with all the grief and project planning, but it seemed to take a _long_ time for her body to settle, only really coming back to herself when she started to wonder if Tori’s neighbors could hear her screaming. Every instinct she had to be quiet had been apparently shattered by the VR environment, and Jade felt everything clench once again as she remembered the moment Tori had drawn her into the experience, looking right at her with a shock to her system.

 _Damn_. Tori was fucking _good_ at this.

Jade finally turned the vibrator off, when she decided she couldn’t come again even if she wanted to. Slowly, she recovered on her bed.

The more she thought about it, though, the more she thought this might be a mistake. How was she supposed to film something in a space in which she felt like she’d literally just had an insane orgasm?

Pedesko wouldn’t be there, she reminded herself.

But Tori would be.

The morning of the shoot, Jade woke up at seven-thirty, without any prompting. It was like the promise of Disneyland when she was a kid, the ability to just wake up, ready to go, when on any other morning she'd be grumbling and dragging her feet. She'd already had a cup of coffee, showered, dressed, and was working on a second cup when Tori emerged from the house with the Chemex pitcher of her own coffee. Jade sucked down the remains of what was in her mug, then held it out for a refill.

"Excited?" Tori asked, amused.

"It feels weird when you call it out like that," Jade admitted. Maybe it was her film school education talking, but there was something in the back of her mind that told her she was supposed to be cool about this, that she was a professional. Getting all worked up about a camera test seemed like an amateur move. Then again, she was doing her own thing and experimenting with new technology and that was actually something worth getting excited about. "But...yeah." She smiled over her cup, watching as Tori reached for Hamster, who had just launched himself down off of the brick wall.

"So, what's the plan?" Tori eyed her, then the PearPad that sat next to Jade's coffee. "I read the call sheet you sent out last night," she continued, rightly anticipating that Jade was about to reference the fact that Tori should have already done exactly that. "I just mean, what's your expectation for the day?"

"Call time is ten, but I want to get there before that, just to be ready for everyone, so...if we can leave at nine?" Jade checked the time. 8:15. "If that leaves you enough time to get ready."

"I can be ready by nine," Tori confirmed, a slight smile on her face.

"What?"

"Director Jade is such a morning person."

"I'm not a morning person. I'm just prepared." Maybe the three cups of coffee had helped, too. "Anyway, once everyone's on location, Cat will assist with wardrobe and make-up, Sam will help with the initial setup. And then we'll just start shooting. I know the setups I want to try but I also know this is different than anything I've shot before. Really, you're the most experienced one on this project."

"If I have feedback, how do you want me to give it to you?"

"Just...tell me?"

"Jade." Tori smirked. "You and I both know that if I just come up to you on the set and give you advice on a scene..."

Okay, Tori had a point. Jade was well aware that she had a tendency toward tunnel-vision when she was working, because there was a specific way she always viewed the scenes and story. But she'd also worked on a lot of different projects since the last time Tori had worked along with her. "You're not wrong. But you're also technically a producer on this so...I kind of have to at least listen to you."

"Fine, I'll be sure to approach you _as a producer_ with any concerns." Tori was still giving her a certain look that suggested she thought Jade was full of shit, but it shifted into something softer. "I'll help however I can."

"You're already literally the reason it's happening at all," Jade said.

"Then I guess you'd better listen when I have production notes."

By nine, Tori was ready to go, as promised. Jade had already loaded the Subaru with lights, stands, tripods, audio gear, and her DSLR (she wanted to document the process), so they were on the road as soon as they were out the door. As Tori drove, Jade made a point not to review any plans, but rather to choose a song on her PearPhone (which was already synced to Tori's car, at this point) and focus on the music. When they arrived at Moustache Media, Tori helped Jade haul the gear bags inside, despite Jade's insistence on leaving it for Sam to do later.

Inside, Tori unlocked her office door, opening it up to Jade as a home base of operations for the day. This was the first time Jade had seen into the space and she'd maybe been expecting something more...sexy? She was looking at a fairly standard office, though the furniture was, perhaps, darker than Tori's usual aesthetic (one that leaned toward bright colors, according to her interior design in her home...and, like, Tori's entire existence). Regardless of the design scheme, there was a small couch and two chairs on one side of the room, her desk on the other, with bookshelves that lined the far wall.

On the wall space not covered by the shelves were framed items like photos of Tori (or, really, Mistress Tawny) with various people, a write-up about the Fungeon, and Tori's bachelor's degree in psychology. _Huh_. Jade knew, intellectually, that Tori had managed to finish college on her own time, and yet seeing the actual diploma gave her a sense of pride on Tori's behalf. She'd done it, even with all the heartbreak and having to live in Canada and juggling an acting career. And even though Jade was well aware of Tori's dedication to education and communication, this added another element of perspective on it. She wondered if Tori planned to go further, to pursue grad school. Being in LA and having control over her professional schedule certainly sounded much more workable than distance learning from across the border.

She watched Tori wake up her computer and tap in her password, before indicating to Jade that it was available. In the car, she'd realized she hadn't printed the prop paperwork for Tori's detective character, so she needed to login to her PearDrive and do that now. This was why she liked to be early. When she was doing most things herself, it was so easy to forget something (though she really did thoroughly organize every single time). At least it had been something easy enough to remedy.

There was still a window open on the desktop and Tori quickly moved to close it, despite the fact that it was obviously just a spreadsheet.

"Wow. Yeah. Wouldn't want someone to see all that explicit data," Jade noted, playfully scandalized.

"It's _confidential_ client information," Tori replied.

Well, that was fair. Still, "Ooo, what like who wants to be spanked with a paddle and who wants to be bullwhipped?"

"I don't do bullwhipping, but...basically, yes." At Jade's look, Tori shrugged. "I have to stay organized!"

Jade opened a new window and logged into her account to pull up the prop paperwork. As it sent to the printer, she watched as Tori removed her PearWatch and jewelry, placing all of it on the desk. Among the items was the silver ring with the little jewels in it and she tried to remember if Tori had been wearing it regularly. Not that it mattered. It was just nice to know she liked it.

The pages finished ejecting from the printer and Jade gathered them to place with the other props and she left Tori alone to prepare however she needed to for her role. Even though it was just a camera test. _Aw, fuck it_. Jade was excited about shooting this thing today, even if it wasn't anything specific. Though, she'd written the script, named the characters, storyboarded the shots, and obsessed over the overall aesthetic of the piece so...maybe it was pretty goddamn specific, after all.

Sam, Cat, and Chandra all arrived a little before ten, with Chandra being slightly starstruck at meeting someone from the web show she'd loved when she was younger. Apparently, it had been quite a round of introductions in the parking lot.

"First I saw Cat," Chandra began, meeting Jade in the lobby of the space, "and she seemed familiar because it turns out I saw her in _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ at the Santa Monica Shakespeare Fest last summer."

"Where she was the cutest little Puck you've ever seen," Sam added, squeezing her arm around Cat's shoulders.

"And then Sam took off her helmet and I was like, 'Oh shit, that's _Sam from iCarly_!' and..." Chandra waved an arm in her direction, "I'm still really sorry that I screamed like that."

Sam laughed. "It happens. Not as much as it used to, so...in a way, it was nice."

"She has a new show with Trina," Cat said. But Chandra had no frame of reference who Trina was, so she continued, "Tori's sister."

"Babe, I don't think she's met Tori, either," said Sam.

"This is her place, right?" Chandra asked, looking around.

Jade nodded. "Yeah, she's back in the studio." Though, Chandra knew Mistress Tawny, so she wondered if she'd recognize--

"Hi!" came Tori's voice from the hall just before she appeared in the doorway with a warm and welcoming smile.

A squeak projected from Chandra, probably similar to what had happened in the parking lot. "Holy shit," her voice came out almost as a whisper.

Jade wasn't sure what to do here. Was she supposed to pretend Tori wasn't Mistress Tawny? Fortunately, Tori was apparently versed in this kind of situation, because she just offered her hand and said, "Today I'm just Tori Vega. And I'm really excited about the scene we'll be shooting today."

"Uh huh," Chandra replied, obviously a little overwhelmed as she shook Tori's hand.

Jade hadn't considered that Tori (or Tawny, in this case) might be a bit of a celebrity to Chandra, which was clearly the case. "Why don't you show Chandra and Cat to the wardrobe area and I'll put Sam to work."

"Ugh, when you put it like that, then I don't want to do it," groaned Sam.

Jade was used to Sam's anti-labor attitude, but Cat scolded her. "You listen to Jade and do what she says." She poked Sam a couple of times in the chest to make her point, but then leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Have fun, I love you!" she said, bounding after Chandra and Tori, who had just begun to move down the hall.

"We're going to the same--" Sam tossed a hand in the air. "She'll figure it out."

"She always seems to, eventually," Jade agreed.

While the onscreen talent dressed and sat in Cat's makeup chair, Jade and Sam arranged the Pedesko set into something that resembled the storyboards. Jade was still unsure how she planned to capture a lot of it, but that was the point of the day, to play around and see what worked and what didn't. Once everyone was on set, the day began to move quickly as Jade attempted various setups, sometimes having to lie on the floor to avoid being captured by the 360 degree nature of the camera. Chandra and Tori played beautifully off of each other, the detective circling the alleged black widow like a shark in deep waters. Despite Jade's insistence that this wasn't anything more than a test, it was obvious both performers had put in the work to at least make it look good. More than that, they were great.

After about a half dozen repeats of the scene, Jade knew she still wanted to try a few things, but she didn’t want her actors getting bored. "Instead of the lines, I want you both to improvise. Try and keep the same blocking, though." This seemed to delight both of them and even began to yield some lines and performance beats that were better than the script. Also, they both appeared to be having fun with it. Actually, Jade was, too. Finally, though, when it was evident Jade had exhausted just about all the angles and possibilities, she called for a wrap on the day. It had only been about six hours, which was usually just barely the first half of a day for a major production, but this had been more than enough.

Jade knew Tori had arranged to cater the shoot, something she'd insisted on, saying it wasn't a big deal since, "everyone has to eat, anyway."

As Chandra and Tori changed out of their wardrobe and back into their street clothes, Jade watched Sam load her plate on the table that was set up in the kitchen area of the Fungeon. "Uh, everyone should hurry if they want a fighting chance with this catering spread," she called down the hall. Sam shot her a pointed look and backed off, already digging into her plate of pasta.

Jade quickly served herself, set her food on the coffee table that sat in front of the love seat, before moving for the small fridge that held the drinks. As she retrieved enough beverages for the group, she overheard Chandra talking to Tori.

"Wow, this is better than some professional sets I've been on," she commented.

"I have a client who owns a restaurant," Tori explained. "They wanted to book today, but when they heard I'd be closed because of a film shoot, they were very excited and offered to cater."

Something about this felt familiar to Jade, but she wasn't sure why. Maybe just because it was common around Los Angeles to hear similar stories about businesses offering their services in exchange for a chance to be close to fame. Tori obviously had her own following, too, based on what Jade had seen over the past few months. And Chandra's reaction to meeting her.

Which, speaking of, "How come you never told me your ex-girlfriend was Mistress Tawny?" Chandra asked, while Cat was busy catching Tori up on her last conversation with Robbie.

"Well, I dated Tori. In high school and college. And it was way before any of this was ever a thing."

"She's so good, by the way," said Chandra. "At acting, I mean."

"Yeah," Jade agreed. She caught a small smile from Tori when she glanced over and couldn't help but feel her lips shape into one in return. "She's really fucking good.”

“How come you never told me you went to high school with so many talented people?"

"Well, I went to a performing arts high school, so it was kind of...expected." Okay, but then Jade considered Trina who, while she had since found the spaces where her talents were best utilized, had been primarily a screeching annoyance during those years. "Of most people. And I met Sam toward the end of high school, but she was on independent study at one of the public schools. So I only knew her through Cat."

"Hey, babe?" Sam was wandering the Fungeon space, looking at all of the bondage furniture and gear. They'd been in the other half of the space for most of the day, so this was really the first time for the new visitors to explore. "Did you see this?" she asked, pointing to the pet play cage.

Cat popped up from her chair. "Can I try it?" she asked Tori.

She was met with a nod. "Go ahead."

As Cat literally skipped past the other bondage equipment, Chandra said, "Damn, they're irrationally adorable together."

"I know, right?" replied Tori. As Sam carefully closed Cat in the cage, Jade began to clean up the catering table, but Tori stopped her. "You can leave it all. Kwakoo and Sinjin will be here soon to do maintenance. They'll take care of the leftovers."

"Okay, I don't like it!" announced Cat. Sam quickly opened the cage door and Cat crawled out. "Your lap is much more comfy," she decided, looping their arms together and pulling Sam toward the wall display of Tori’s various restraints, paddles, and other implements.

Jade casually watched the two of them while absently listening to Tori describe some caning workshop she’d taken recently to a very eager Chandra. At one point, Cat pulled a pair of handcuffs off of a hook and giggled as she began to fasten them to Sam’s wrists. “Uh, Tori,” Jade interrupted.

“I hadn’t had a need for it until now but--” Tori glanced over at Jade. “What?” She followed Jade’s gaze to where Sam and Cat stood, Sam with her hands out in front of her and Cat clicking them shut. “Oh, no!” She leapt to her feet and sprinted toward them. “Those are display only! I don’t have a key!”

Cat’s face fell, but Sam just smirked. “Guess I’ll just have to see if I can still…” Sam’s hands covered the silver shackles of the cuffs, her face twisted into an expression of deep concentration, then the handcuffs were suddenly dangling from her fingertips. “Mama’s _still got it_.”

As Cat flung herself against Sam in an embrace (and emitted a muffled “I didn’t know you did magic”), the cuffs were handed off to Tori, who immediately carried them into her office to presumably avoid another accidental lock up with someone less adept at escapism. Once it was clear that dinner was over, Jade made one final round of direction to collect everything and pack it all back up.

Sam returned the extra light stands they'd borrowed from Tori to the back storage room, but while she was back there, she called out. "Hey, um...Tori? What the hell is this for?" There was the sound of something being dragged across the floor, then a large wooden chair emerged through the doorway.

It somewhat resembled a modest wooden throne, but with a circle with a wide hole in the middle that extended out around the front of the seat. Jade knew it had to be some kind of a sex chair or something. It was possible Chandra knew what it was, because her face lit up with a delighted smile.

"Oh, that's a cunnilingus chair," Tori said simply, as if that information was as mundane as explaining a toothbrush. "Someone sits there," she pointed to the obvious chair part of the piece, "then the sub kneels and puts their head in here." She flipped open a small latch that allowed the circle to open up.

"That seems uncomfortable," Sam noted. But then, almost as if it was a challenge to herself, she dropped to her knees and positioned herself as Tori had just described.

Cat, without missing a beat, climbed right up onto the seat, but sat back so it wouldn't be possible for Sam to reach anything vital from her position. "Oh, I see how this could be fun," she said, sly smile on her face. It was rare to see Cat this openly flirtatious, at least in this manner. Whatever they had going on really must be working for them.

"Okay, I'm getting up before we start getting charged a rental fee," said Sam.

Tori laughed. "If you two want it, you can have it. Someone gifted it to me, but it's not really my style."

"I don't think we have much room for sex furniture in the apartment," though it was almost as if Sam was trying to consider the option.

"Well, I'm sure it'll still be back there if you change your mind. It's not like I can just list it on SplashFace Local."

"Why not, you listed the spanking bench," said Jade.

"And no one wanted it! Not even for free!" Tori sounded offended about it.

"Hey, I took it. I think it's cool." In that moment, Jade remembered that not everyone in the room knew she used it as a boot storage rack. "I mean, it's been repurposed."

Chandra lifted her hands. "You use that spanking bench all you want, I'm in no place to judge."

"I think it's time to go home," Jade decided.

Despite the fact that Sam and Cat were probably about three seconds from making out (which had Jade idly considering what rarity it was that they were as affectionate with each other now as they were a decade ago when their relationship was new), Sam managed to pull herself away to help Jade load everything into the back of the Subaru. Chandra said goodnight to everyone with a hug, seemingly over being starstruck after working together all day. It was the kind of connection Jade felt good about facilitating.

She supposed she hadn't actually been the first to connect Tori with Chandra, despite the various personas Tori used for her work. Jade considered that she'd been the one with the information that Chandra was familiar with the Mistress and hadn't even considered it as something she might need to disclose.

As Tori drove them back to the house, Jade said, "I guess I could have let you know Chandra's part of your...uh, community. I didn't think about how it might be weird."

Tori didn't appear to be too bothered by it. "I deal with things being weird a lot, so I've gotten pretty good at navigating those kinds of meetings. People aren't sure what to do because they're used to me being Mistress Tawny, so I really just do my best to be myself." Which was exactly what Tori had done, Jade realized. "But, yeah. Maybe give me a head's up, next time."

"So far, Chandra's the only crossover person I've run into," Jade replied. "Although...I couldn't help overhearing you two talking about the catering and, at first, I couldn't figure out what felt familiar about what you were saying..."

"Are you sure it wasn't just the fact that you're naturally nosy?" Tori teased.

Jade allowed for the jab because it wasn't untrue. "No, that's part of it. But, uh...Mrs. Lee didn't change cuisines again, did she? Or is she your mystery fame-chasing Italian restaurant caterer?" There was a level of silence from Tori that clearly served as an affirmation. "Oh my god, it _is_ her."

"I normally would never disclose client information, but I know whatever you're picturing is far more extreme than the reality of it." Tori sighed, stopping at an intersection. "Let's just say, I have certain clients who enjoy the idea of being deprived of their senses."

Jade recalled something about the sex swing in the Fungeon serving sensory deprivation purposes. "What, then? You blindfold her and leave her in the swing?"

"Something like that." Jade tried to picture it, but then Tori reached over and smacked her in the arm. "Stop trying to picture it," she demanded.

"Damn, is one of your personas also a psychic?"

"Mary Jane fancies herself one, but it's really just the weed talking."

"Tell me again how she's not actually just regular Tori Vega?"

"Be nice or she might end up blocking you on Spectrogram, too." But there was no bite to the threat.

When they rolled up the driveway, Jade was pleased with how the day had gone, she was eager to browse through her footage in a way that was different from her other gig. Normally, she wanted to get it all done so she could close out the job. This time, it was all on her own timeline for her own vision. Why had she waited so long to delve back into things?

If she was this excited about viewing a camera test, imagine if it was actually something bigger.

-

After the shoot, while she and Jade drove home together, Tori was buzzing on the energy of being part of a creative endeavor. It was so different from the kinds of performance that were a regular part of her life now, taking on the personas that made up her professional career, because this was a character someone else had crafted, lines someone else had written, a whole world Jade had created, even if they only saw a small sliver of it.

And she’d gotten to see Jade in her element, for the first time in a long time, if you didn’t count the Fet Ball, which Tori didn’t, really. Because Jade blending into the crowd and taking discreet pictures was a far cry from Jade on set, giving orders and communicating to everyone involved to achieve what she wanted.

It was a _really_ good look for Jade.

Once they were back home, Jade told Tori she’d be going through footage for a while, which Tori took as a cue to leave Jade alone for the rest of the evening. That was okay with her, because she thought she might need to decompress on her own, anyway.

But as the cannabis lozenge started to take effect while Tori lounged on her couch, trying to pick something to watch on WebFlix, she realized why the buzz of energy was lingering in her body.

Tori needed to have an orgasm.

Once the idea took hold, it couldn’t be ignored. Grateful that her period was over (not that _that_ would have stopped her from masturbating, really), Tori got up, glancing through her kitchen window. The lights were on in Jade’s guest house, indicating she was still in there. Tori headed back for her bedroom, made sure her windows were closed and her curtains were drawn, and opened up her closet, regarding the packaged sex toys she still hadn’t tried yet.

But Tori wasn’t in the mood to review a sex toy. It was fine when she felt like putting in some work while getting off, a very utilitarian approach to masturbation that she usually found greatly satisfying, but right now, she wasn’t interested in that. She wanted to come for her own sake. She wanted this orgasm to be hers, not for the public’s benefit.

She closed the closet door, her eyes falling on her body pillow. _That_ was exactly what she wanted.

She stripped down to just her underwear and climbed onto her bed, wrapping herself around the body pillow in a familiar posture, settling into place. Tori closed her eyes, letting images and impressions from the day wash over her. Chandra’s undisguised awe when they were introduced. The thrum of power of playing a detective, even one who behaved much more professionally than Officer Pedesko. But mostly Jade.

Jade was who she was _really_ thinking about, had been thinking about all day. There was just that little hesitation she had to work through before she started dwelling on her, but there was no alternative. Tori had to let her thoughts drift to Jade, the way she exuded confidence and control on a set, the way her face set into a studious expression as she worked. The way it felt to work under her, to let Jade call the shots. It wasn’t something she was used to in her present life, but it had _worked_.

Tori’s hips began to rock slowly against the body pillow, her arm holding it steadily in place. Sometimes, she combined a vibrator with the experience, but right now, she didn’t think she needed or wanted that. She wanted to take her time with this, let her mind burn through all of the recent pieces of Jade that had been etched into her. It had been a while since she’d gotten off, and even longer since she’d slept with somebody who _wasn’t_ Jade. And in order to keep the boundaries in place, Tori decided she needed to let her erotic imagination soar, because stifling it would only make things build up to an unbearable degree.

Like now, as Tori’s hips began to grind with more fervent need, and she pressed her face into the pillow, whimpering, as images flooded her mind. The way Jade pulled her hair back for certain kinds of work, and the way it exposed a pale expanse of elegant neck, the intensity of blue eyes, the way they never seemed to quite be the same color but always had the same pull to Tori. The set of her jaw when she was concentrating, the low thrum of her voice, taking on a commanding tone. Long-fingered hands gesturing, touching her. Jade on top of her in the yard, and feeling like they were enclosed in their own universe together, even if it was built of grief and mutual need. Jade beneath her in a hotel bed, body soft and warm and eager and open to her, and Tori felt engulfed in her, in their desire.

The way Jade, in bed, made Tori feel on top of the world and anchored, all at once.

The swirl of everything _Jade_ boiled over, and Tori started shaking, everything building higher and higher like a tidal wave until the inevitable crash, and Tori bit the body pillow to muffle her sounds, grinding harder, faster, the bucking of her hips unrestrained and powerful. It seemed to last for a long time, waves of heat flowing through and off her body, until Tori felt like she returned to herself, still gripping the pillow for some semblance of reality, shivering. Tori stayed there for a long moment, holding onto her pillow, letting the aftermath of everything churn through her active brain.

 _Damn_ , but Jade was great fantasy fodder. Of course she was going to think about her, there wasn’t anything wrong with it. Tori let out a long sigh, mentally trying to let a little more of Jade out of her with it. This was a healthy way to let her focus on their friendship.

She lay with the body pillow, thoughts still drifting, and she thought about Jade’s scissHER app, the way she’d helped her with it. The fact that Jade had gone on a few dates, at least before Grandma Jean had died. Would she be doing that again?

Tori let go of the pillow and rolled on her back, staring at the ceiling. Maybe she should be making more of an effort on the app. She hadn’t spent much time on it in a while, though her profile was still up and she occasionally received messages and matches still. If Jade was going to date, maybe it would be a good idea for Tori to do it, too, especially since she hadn’t so much as kissed someone other than Jade in months (if you didn’t count her work, where she facilitated various types of physical touch, which Tori didn’t; as much as it sometimes satisfied her erotically, it wasn’t the same as sexual contact).

That was another complicated piece of Tori’s personal life, though. Tori had lived by herself for a long time, and had some experiences that made her wary of dating all that much. When she had been a young domme starting out in the BDSM scene, especially just after she and Patrice had ended things, Tori had kind of...hooked up _a lot_. It had been a combination of people from both kink events and vanilla sources, like scissHER. She’d also been working out of her guest house at the time, and a couple of incidents in which former hookups or clients showed up unexpectedly had made her extremely wary of letting near-strangers find out where she lived, so after that point, she found her Fungeon, and then only hooked up in other people’s homes.

But before long, she became busy enough with her work that she was hooking up less. She was fine with that overall, though she did still try to date because she did sometimes long for the intimacy of being in a relationship. She found that most kinky people she tried to date wanted her to be The Mistress more than they wanted her to be Tori, and most vanilla people, even if they were generally sex-positive and even kink-curious, were not actually okay with her being a sex worker, and the relationship fizzled.

The last time she’d gone to bed with someone other than Jade had been a few months before the reunion, when she’d briefly dated a really gorgeous woman named Naomi who described herself as “a little kinky” and who shared some common interests with Tori. It had been way too early to tell what kind of relationship they might be able to build, but Tori had actually been optimistic about it, a welcome change from her usual dating pattern. Naomi had been open and accepting about Tori’s work, and after meeting a few times to get to know each other, Tori went home with her.

It turned out, however, that part of the reason Naomi had been so enthusiastic about Tori’s work was that she knew _exactly_ who Tori was, which Tori discovered while they were in bed together, and Naomi begged, “Choke me, Mistress,” out of _nowhere_. The shock of it and the depth of betrayal that Tori felt, that this woman had _actually_ tried to get Mistress Tawny into bed with her with no conversation or negotiation _whatsoever_ had really upset Tori, not to mention the fact that Naomi had asked her to do something that was a hard limit for her (which she would have known, if she’d bothered to _talk_ to Tori).

So Tori really hadn’t dated since then. It had been too upsetting, and Tori hadn’t felt compelled to try to get back out there. But maybe she should, if Jade were doing it. The best way to get over an ex was to get under the next, right?

Except that Tori didn’t really want that. And Jade had been her ex for a _very_ long time. And there had been dozens of “nexts” after they broke up.

Tori didn’t know what she wanted, only that, what she had now, somehow wasn’t it.

-

The next morning was Sunday, and Jade was slowly facing the day as she drank her coffee at the picnic table, Tori across from her, sitting with her legs up on the bench and a book propped against her knees. Jade had already checked her notifications on her phone, and was trying not to let her eyes linger on Tori, who seemed absorbed in what she was reading. She’d reach absently for her coffee cup, bringing it to her mouth. Her lips would move slightly as she read, mild reactions, her eyes behind her glasses were focused, her forehead wrinkling occasionally in concentration.

Jade happened to be watching her when Tori turned to look at her. Oh, well, it wasn’t as if there was anything else to look at out here, but Jade lifted her coffee cup to her mouth to have an excuse to break eye contact.

“Are you sufficiently caffeinated?” Tori asked.

“Yes,” Jade replied, “So what’s for dinner?” In previous weeks, she’d asked much earlier, but with all the focus on her filming project, she hadn’t gotten around to considering a beverage pairing until today.

“Oh, don’t worry about getting us any wine this week,” Tori put down her book, waving her hand. “I have some.”

“Really?” Jade asked. Tori wasn’t the type to go shopping for wine. “Where’d you get it?”

“A gift from one of my clients,” Tori disclosed.

Jade’s eyebrows shot up, remembering the wishlist she’d seen on Mistress Tawny’s website. So people did actually purchase things for her. She supposed that was...something to think about, later. “Okay,” she replied.

There didn’t seem to be anything else to talk about, and Jade’s coffee cup was empty, so she headed back into the guest house. When she looked back outside, Tori had disappeared, too.

Except that, not long after, there she was, spreading out her yoga mat on the tall grass (that Jade needed to cut, after Tori was finished, she guessed) and starting to go into her routine. Jade watched her for a moment, but then forced herself to focus on something else. She put on her VR headset to examine some of her footage, and by the time she took it off, Tori was gone.

Jade put on her sleeveless Sherwood High School t-shirt and slathered on some sunscreen before pulling out the lawn mower. The yard never took long, and even adjusting to mowing around the jacuzzi hardly impacted anything. After she was finished with her yard work, Jade showered, and then went back to her headset.

By dinner time, Jade had been absorbed in her project, to the point that she lost track of time and was a little dazed as she returned to the world. In spite of taking breaks with the VR headset, it was still kind of intense to spend much of the day inside of it. She emerged from the guest house to find that the wine Tori had provided was already on the table, along with two glasses. Jade strode into the kitchen to see if Tori was ready to bring out dinner. She didn’t even know what they were having.

Tori looked over at her as she came in, “Oh, good, you’re just in time,” she grinned, “Come grab this.”

Jade walked over and stared at the little platter of brown discs Tori indicated, “What...is this?”

“Portobello mushroom steaks,” Tori replied.

“Steaks is...not the right word for this,” Jade commented.

“You haven’t even tried them yet.” Tori was right behind her carrying a glass casserole dish. Another trip inside to get the salad bowl and the water pitcher, and they were sitting down at the picnic table, Tori popping the cork on her wine bottle and pouring some for each of them. Jade started on the salad and green bean casserole first, still uncertain about the giant mushroom on her plate. She sipped the wine, which was good. She wondered if it was expensive. She assumed it must be. Clients would surely want to give _nice_ gifts to The Mistress, right?

Tori seemed to be watching her expectantly. Jade suppressed rolling her eyes and cut into her mushroom slab. It was...actually not bad, if she didn’t try to compare it to steak. “It’s good,” Jade admitted.

Tori settled into her seat, looking satisfied, “Thank you.”

Silence lapsed between them. Tori’s gaze drifted over to the yard, which made Jade remember watching Tori do yoga earlier. They’d more or less admitted to watching each other in the past, and she wondered if Tori had watched her mow the lawn that afternoon. But then the consideration of the way they _watched_ each other pushed Jade to recall her experience with Officer Pedesko a few nights ago, and she forced her eyes onto her plate.

“How does the footage look so far?” Tori asked her.

Jade glanced up, “Really good,” she replied succinctly.

Tori smiled, “That was a lot of fun,” she said, “I’m really glad you included me.”

“Well, I had to,” Jade snarked, “Since you were providing the equipment and the location.” Tori shot her a mock glare, and Jade amended her statement quickly, “No, but seriously, you were great. You and Chandra played off of each other really well, actually.”

“ _You_ were great,” Tori volleyed back, “It was...really refreshing, being on set with you.”

“Thanks?” Jade replied, brow scrunching uncertainly.

“I’m not just saying that,” Tori insisted, eyes on her own plate. “I just mean...you know, we used to work together a lot on things, when we were younger, and...you’ve really grown into your craft.”

“Well, I did go to film school,” Jade drawled.

“I know,” Tori continued, “But I’ve been on a lot of sets, Jade, and worked with a lot of directors, and most of them weren’t half as good as you when it comes to communicating clearly and really knowing how to get what they wanted out of their cast and crew. You’re so fucking _good_ at this, it’s a goddamn crime you’re not making more movies.”

In spite of Tori’s compliments, Jade was stung. She knew Tori meant well, and it felt good to know that Tori believed in her talent, but the fact still remained that Jade hadn’t been offered any opportunities since her debut, and no matter how good Tori thought she was, that wasn’t likely to change any time soon. Instead, all Jade felt was the reminder that she wasn’t at all where she thought she should be in her career and that she didn’t know what to do about it. “Well, next time you dominate a big-time producer or whatever, you be sure to order them to fund my next project.”

-

There was a bit of a bite to Jade’s reply, which surprised Tori a little. But it wasn’t unlike Jade to deflect a bit forcefully when it came to things she didn’t want to discuss. Tori thought back over what she’d said and winced. She’d meant it as a compliment, but throwing into stark relief the fact that Jade hadn’t made any films since _Not My Problem_ probably wasn’t the best move. People being invasive about her own career had led to her blowing up at her grandmother’s funeral, and she remembered Jade saying she was glad she wasn’t facing similar questions.

Great. _Way to go, Tori_.

“If I had that kind of power, I would absolutely do that for you,” Tori replied. She watched Jade, who wasn’t looking at her. It felt weird until she realized, she hadn’t really been looking at Jade, either. Even this morning, when she was reading over morning coffee, she’d purposely turned away from her.

Not that she hadn’t looked at her earlier that day, when Jade had been mowing the lawn. She’d gotten out of her shower and noticed Jade in that sleeveless t-shirt and couldn’t help but watch for a moment before it became too much. But now, between thinking about her the previous evening, and watching her during the afternoon, she found it was hard to face her.

Letting Jade run wild in her erotic imagination was supposed to make things _easier_ between them, damn it. Though, she didn’t know why Jade herself was being weird. But maybe that was Tori’s fault, too. With how this dinner was going already, it seemed likely.

“I know you would,” Jade said finally, offering a weak smile. They were both quiet for a moment, and then Jade spoke again, “Have you thought about getting a master’s degree?”

The question seemed to come out of nowhere. She thought Jade had taken note of Tori’s diploma in her office, but she hadn’t expected to talk about it. “Of course I’ve thought about it.”

“I just mean...education was always important to you,” Jade said, frowning slightly, “You alway said you wanted to prioritize it over career, so I just wondered...I remember you talked about wanting an advanced degree, when we were younger. What would you need to accomplish that?”

Tori didn’t like this line of questioning. She was pretty sure Jade meant well, and nothing she was saying was untrue; Tori had specifically talked about wanting to finish high school before embarking on a music career, back when she thought that was what she wanted to do. Even when she’d taken more acting work in Canada, she’d been conflicted about the fact that she was putting her education on pause, but Jade’s encouragement, and the fact that she felt certain she could come back to her education later, had made her feel good about taking what was supposed to be the big break that would launch her career. She didn’t...necessarily regret it, but sometimes she wondered what would have happened if she’d stayed in Los Angeles to finish her bachelor’s degree before anything else. Would her opportunities have dried up completely? Would she even have taken any more psychology classes, if she were still focusing on acting and performance?

But despite the fact that she’d definitely talked about wanting to go to graduate school someday, it felt weird for Jade to be asking about it now. Tori pretty much had the career she wanted, with only her bachelor’s degree in terms of credentials.

“It’s something I’m considering, probably part time,” Tori said finally, “I always like to know more, and I’ve been teaching myself for so long. But it’s certainly not out of the question.”

Jade nodded thoughtfully. “Well, you should do it, if that’s what you want.”

Tori suppressed rolling her eyes. She supposed Jade was trying to be supportive, but... _obviously_ Tori should do it. It was just a matter of finding the time, the program that would work with her schedule, the academic focus. “I’m sure I will,” she replied, injecting a note of finality into her voice.

They lapsed into silence again. Everything about this conversation had been so stilted and awkward that they’d eaten rather quickly, in between the weird turns their conversations kept taking that seemed to put one another on edge. As such, there wasn’t much left of their meal, and they only made a few idle remarks about the weather and the food itself before they were finished.

Tori stood up and slid the remaining portobello mushrooms into the green bean casserole dish so she could just store all her leftovers together.

“Need help carrying anything in?” Jade asked.

“No, I’ve got it,” Tori replied. She never minded Jade’s help, but she certainly wasn’t going to insist on it.

Tori carried in the casserole dish and covered it, slipping it into her fridge. She still felt a little guilty about not offering leftovers to Jade, but Jade was certainly capable of feeding herself.

By the time she came back out, Jade was nowhere to be seen, presumably retreated into her guest house. But the remaining dishes on the table were stacked neatly, the glasses gathered near each other, the wine bottle re-corked.

It was a small thing, but it made Tori smile anyway.

A couple of days later, Tori was at work, beginning her transformation into Mistress Tawny in preparation for seeing clients. She was playing music and applying makeup, letting herself begin to feel powerful, but also knowing that she probably wouldn’t fully reach the proper headspace until she put on her bangs and her boots. But especially after the destabilization in her life of losing Grandma Jean, Tori had been giving herself extra time and attention before her scenes, to ensure that she was prepared to do her work. There hadn’t been any issues yet, and it was beginning to get easier to slip into topspace.

Her phone buzzed in front of her, and she glanced down to see a text from Janet.

**Hey, how are you doing?**

**Patrice asked you to check up on me, didn’t she?**

**So what if she did?**

**Want to get some dinner later?**

**Or whenever works for you.**

**My treat**

**You sure know how to sweeten a deal**

**Good company and free food?**

**How can I refuse?**

**You know it**

**Is that a yes or what?**

**I’m free tonight after I finish with clients**

**After six?**

**Alright, I’ll get us a reservation**

Tori was already looking forward to it. It would probably do her some good to spend some time with someone outside of the social circle she shared with Jade. She’d been in touch with Patrice a bit over the past couple of weeks, though she’d been very busy filming her show and doing video sessions with clients while she was on the road. Tori was certainly closer to Patrice, but she and Janet had an independent friendship as well.

Mistress Tawny’s second client for the day was a relatively easy one, though that didn’t mean Mistress Tawny didn’t need to be vigilant and focused. This client got off primarily on being ignored, which could be achieved a few different ways, but his preferred method was being made into a piece of furniture.

So after guiding Zachary into submission, promising him he would be rewarded if he behaved himself, Tori seated herself on an armchair, with Zachary on all fours in front of her, acting as her coffee table. She propped her boots up on him, leaving her phone on his back, a sudoku book in her hands.

But because of the nature of her work, Mistress Tawny could only really let herself focus on her puzzles to a certain extent. In spite of the fact that she was supposed to be “ignoring” Zachary, she was, in fact, quite attuned to him, watching him discreetly, ostensibly to be sure he was staying still and doing what she commanded, but also so she could watch for signs that he was in any kind of distress.

This meant that she was halfway through her puzzle before she realized she’d made a terrible mistake and would have to start over.

Cursing, Mistress Tawny scrubbed her eraser over the whole page and let out a frustrated sigh. Maybe it was time to put the puzzle down. She wouldn’t want to accidentally channel any unrelated irritation into her submissive.

She heard her phone buzz on Zachary’s back. Like a good table, he didn’t even flinch. She lifted her legs from off of his back to lean forward, dropping the sudoku book and reaching for her phone. While she was there, she reached down to Zachary’s wrist and squeezed, twice.

It was a nonverbal check-in, a tool she utilized in a variety of scenes, but one that was especially helpful in scenes like this one, when verbal acknowledgement could take her submissive out of their headspace. Usually, two squeezes in return signaled that the submissive was doing fine, but due to Zachary’s hands being flat on the floor and him needing to keep his balance, they’d adapted the return signal to be two answering pats on the floor with just his fingers.

Zachary’s return signal showed he was content, so Mistress Tawny picked up her phone. The buzz was simply a Spectrogram notification. In scenes like this, Mistress Tawny had to be careful of what kinds of things she checked on her phone, so as not to pull her out of her headspace. Spectrogram was fine if she stayed logged onto her account. It was a comment on a picture of her.

The comment was particularly apt to the scene she was doing, so she read it aloud quietly to tease Zachary. “RetifismLovver7 is begging to worship my boots,” she laughed, “They should know you have to _earn_ that.”

As she suspected, Zachary visibly blushed, because that very scenario was going to be his reward if he performed well in this scene. Mistress Tawny pretended to call someone next, just to continue the teasing. “Hi, Mistress Deidre?” She wouldn’t _actually_ have used her title when she was embodying The Mistress, but using it now forced Zachary to feel the implications: two dommes chatting. “Oh, nothing, I’m just here by myself.” Chatting and _ignoring_ him completely.

Mistress Tawny carried on, pretending to chat with Mistress Deidre and complaining about how she thought she’d have to buy a new table because the one she had just _wasn’t_ _very good_ , enjoying the way the torment made Zachary flush with humiliation and arousal. But he stayed steady, he didn’t give any nonverbal signals that he was in distress.

While she still held the phone, she received a text: Her first client of the day had gone home to masturbate (Mistress Tawny generally forbid masturbation in the Fungeon; orgasm that occurred during scenes was fine, but if a client wanted to masturbate at the end, Mistress Tawny instructed them to do it at home and then thank her later, via text message). Orgasm achieved, the client had sent a thank you text, as instructed.

Mistress Tawny chuckled, “Oh, I’m so happy to have inspired your orgasm, you little submissive bitch,” she murmured. Zachary would know _exactly_ what this comment was referring to.

Mistress Tawny’s phone was supposed to help her stay focused during sessions like this, so it was relatively limited in terms of what was on it, but Tori’s personal messaging app did sync with it, as well, so that she could see anything urgent that might come through. Generally, she was perfectly capable of ignoring random texts that didn’t require her immediate attention and stay in her headspace, but as she was replying to the earlier client who’d had an orgasm, a text from Jade pushed through.

**I’m at Static Roasters, do you need any beans?**

Mistress Tawny’s lips thinned. Jade was going to unintentionally force her to respond, because Tori _did_ need beans. She knew it was just as self-serving for Jade to ask as it was a favor, since most mornings she drank at least one cup of Tori’s pour-over, but she couldn’t really hold it against her.

Sighing heavily, Mistress Tawny replied to the woman she’d had to block three times.

**Yes.**

She took a moment to observe Zachary discreetly. It would be soon time to wind down the session, and he’d done well. He’d be permitted to worship her boots.

Another text from Jade buzzed in her hand.

**What kind?**

Mistress Tawny could only manage a succinct answer, or risk getting drawn into the distraction Jade represented.

**Choose.**

**Okay...**

Mistress Tawny had to set her phone aside, both to avoid responding to Jade and because it was time to lift her boots off of Zachary’s back and reward him with a lot of praise and with the privilege of boot-worship.

It was dangerous, however, because even as Mistress Tawny rewarded Zachary and then provided aftercare, her mind kept drifting to Jade. It had been a little destabilizing, having a perfectly normal conversation with someone who clearly had _no idea_ who they were communicating with. She guessed maybe they just needed to talk about it, but it was hard to imagine how that conversation would go, with everything feeling so weird between them lately (and especially because she definitely wanted Jade to text her about crucial household things like coffee, even when she was Mistress Tawny). At least morning coffee this week seemed to go okay.

Once her session with Zachary was over, Tori came back to herself, redressed in her regular clothes, and got ready to meet Janet for dinner.

Janet had secured them reservations at a Mediterranean place that they both really liked, and she met Tori out front, offering a brief hug before they headed inside. Janet was one of those women who made men’s jeans and button-up style shirts look effortlessly sleek, with short dark hair and a butch swagger that Tori found extremely charming. She’d never been Janet’s lover without Patrice, but if Janet had asked, she would have been interested, because on top of Janet’s magnetism, the fine-featured Latina woman was also just gorgeous.

After they ordered, they turned their attention fully to each other.

“So, how’ve you been?” Tori began.

Janet shrugged, “Not too bad, trying to stay busy with work.”

“Is it weird with Patrice out of town?” Tori asked sympathetically.

Janet laughed, “Of course it is. It’s also a hell of a lot quieter.”

Tori laughed with her, “I’m going to tell her you said that,” she teased.

“You think I haven’t told her that myself already?” Janet challenged.

Tori shook her head, “Of course you did,” she chuckled.

“In all seriousness, of course I miss her, but it’s definitely manageable with technology to keep us connected and being poly means I can find company, as needed. But I want to hear how you’ve been.” There was sympathy in her gaze. She hadn’t been able to make Grandma Jean’s wake, but she and Patrice had both sent heartfelt condolences. Not to mention, Tori could be fairly certain that Janet had heard about the phone call with Patrice a few weeks ago, when she was grappling with how much she’d hurt Jade.

It was a lot to consider unpacking. Tori took a breath. “I’m...alright, mostly. Losing my grandma was...you know, you _know_ it’s going to happen someday, but it still felt so sudden for her. She seemed so healthy until suddenly…” Tori trailed off.

Janet nodded, “I know exactly what you mean. Was it harder, with the funeral prep?”

Tori considered it. “I don’t know,” she began slowly. She didn’t really have anything to compare it to; her other grandparents had passed away when she was young enough that she couldn’t have been of any help with the funeral, anyway. The mourning process had been very different, too. She’d been in elementary school and early middle school when her dad’s parents had died, and though she was sad and had definitely grieved, she recognized that her relationship with Grandma Jean had been much different. They had gotten to know each other as adults, with similar interests, whereas her other grandparents had been almost archetypal; beloved, but without such a close personal connection.

She remembered, abruptly, the moment when Grandma Jean herself had shifted from being her grandmother who complained about her pain and asked about her boyfriends to her _cool_ Grandma who loved horror and didn’t bat an eye at Tori having a girlfriend. Her entire perspective had shifted so suddenly, and it was because she was finally old enough to relate to her grandmother on a more personal level.

“I guess it was helpful to me,” Tori decided, “Having something to focus on in my grief. I think it helped the whole family, Jade included.”

Janet nodded. “That makes sense to me. Guess there were maybe enough of you to keep it from getting too stressful.”

“Yeah,” Tori agreed, lapsing into quiet again, remembering that better part of a week in which she and Jade had carried one another through everything.

Their appetizer arrived, a platter with mostly hummus, tapenade, veggies, cheeses and pita bread. They both began digging into the food, which paused conversation for a moment. But evidently, Janet wasn’t about to let Tori off the hook, “What else has been going on with you?” she asked.

Tori brought a triangle of pita loaded with hummus and tapenade to her mouth, chasing it with a prosciutto-wrapped fig. Janet watched her with amused eyes, waiting for Tori to say something. Tori finally said, “So, I guess you’ve heard about how Jade and I are...I don’t know. Neighbors. Friends.”

Janet nodded carefully, “Yeah, Patrice might’ve mentioned it,” she replied neutrally.

“What did she say?” Tori shot back.

“Not much, except that it seemed to be dredging up some old feelings for you.”

Well if that wasn’t accurate as hell. “Patrice doesn’t even know the half of it,” Tori sighed.

“Oh?” Janet asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tori did. Janet was pretty close to a neutral third party. She knew bits and pieces about Tori’s past with Jade, but hadn’t been Tori’s lifeline during the breakup the way Patrice had been. As much as Patrice was good at compartmentalizing and staying neutral, Tori knew she probably had a bias toward her, because of seeing Tori’s response to the breakup firsthand. “So Patrice told you about our phone call a couple of weeks ago?” she checked.

“Yeah, she said you were feeling guilty about your breakup.”

“I was. Because I found out how badly I hurt Jade. Like, I didn’t even know she _could_ feel so awful. But everything since then has just gotten more...complicated. Like...” She wondered whether she should disclose that she and Jade slept together in the wake of their shared grief. Telling Janet would certainly result in Patrice finding out, and she didn’t think she wanted to have to explain to Patrice why she kept having irresponsible sex with Jade...not that there ever seemed to be negative repercussions. “We were...extremely close, in the aftermath of my Grandma’s death,” she settled on. “Like, in a way that made my sister upset because she was worried we were going to end up hurting each other.”

Janet sipped her water. “Did you?” she asked.

“Well, no,” Tori replied, “I don’t _think_ so. We...I mean, we both knew we were just trying to get through the funeral, and grieve, and that afterwards, we’d go back to being friends.”

Janet circled a piece of pita bread in the air as she frowned, “Wait, what do you mean go _back_ to being friends?”

Tori faltered. She hadn’t realized she’d phrased it so tellingly. “I just mean...we were kind of functioning like a couple, but it wasn’t...anything.”

“Okay,” Janet replied. She was clearly trying to sound neutral, but Janet _wasn’t_ Patrice. Tori could absolutely hear the undercurrent of skepticism in her voice. “So where’s the part where this gets complicated?”

Tori took a moment to eat a piece of feta as she considered her answer. “I guess being close to Jade during the funeral and everything made me...miss that. Like a lot,” she said quietly. Janet nodded encouragingly, and Tori continued, “But it feels like things are just...getting weird between us.”

“Well, what is it that you want?” Janet asked, straightforward if not quite blunt.

Tori’s shoulders drooped. “I mean...I’d be willing to try again, but I don’t think Jade wants to. Nor should she, with how badly I hurt her last time…”

Janet shook her head, expression rueful, “Okay, but you don’t get to make that decision for her. Tori, if you really want to try again, you need to communicate clearly what you want.”

Tori sat back in her chair, “At this point I’d just take things going back to before they got awkward, but communication didn’t keep _that_ from happening--”

“Tori,” Janet repeated her name, expression serious, “ _Talk to her_.”

“I hear you,” Tori waved a hand, “Communication, I know.” Because in spite of Tori’s deflection, she knew Janet was absolutely right. It was the thing Tori was always advising people to do, on her Pleasure Professor videos, and one of the skills she thought she’d honed to excellence as a dominatrix, yet here she was, wanting something more with Jade and yet refusing to talk about it. Even if what she wanted wasn’t realistic, they would _still_ have to talk about how to make their friendship possible, what boundaries were needed, while Tori worked through this.

And as much as she tried to tell herself that she had _reasons_ for not wanting to talk to Jade about her desire to try again, she saw them for the flimsy ones they were when she contemplated expressing any of them to Janet. She _needed_ to talk to Jade.

But after Tori finished unburdening herself to her friend, they were able to shift the conversation to lighter topics, so that by the time they parted outside the restaurant with a hug, Tori felt much better. Janet could always make her laugh.

The next morning, after Jade had finished her second cup of coffee, she grunted and got up from the picnic table. She left her mug behind, so Tori was fairly certain she’d be back, so she refilled it from the Chemex and waited.

She was correct, because moments later, Jade came back carrying a bag of coffee beans from Static Roasters, which she placed in the middle of the picnic table. “Your beans. You’re welcome,” she spoke her first words of the morning.

Tori picked up the bag. “Oooh, their Brazilian is amazing. Good choice.”

Jade eyed her, “Yeah, speaking of that. ‘ _Choose_ ’?” she quoted incredulously from Tori’s text, “What was _that_ about?”

“Well,” Tori started carefully, “I was at work.” Jade raised her eyebrows slightly, an indication that Tori should elaborate. Tori’s lip twitched, “And sometimes when I’m at work, I can’t afford to be knocked out of a certain headspace, so...you were talking to The Mistress.”

Jade’s eyes widened and she sat up straighter. “Oh,” she replied quietly. Tori watched her expression as she digested this information, “Yeah, okay. I can see that now,” Jade mumbled, cheeks a little pink.

“Sorry, I...didn’t mean to draw you into something you didn’t want,” Tori replied. Jade didn’t seem upset, but she _had_ unwittingly interacted with The Mistress. Maybe Tori should have thought better of disclosing that.

Jade shook her head, “No, it’s okay. I’m just glad there’s an explanation for why you were being so weird. But The Mistress doesn’t like me, so, it makes sense.”

Tori chuckled, “The Mistress doesn’t _dislike_ you, Jade.”

Jade eyed her skeptically, “If you say so.”

Tori stopped herself from saying something about how Mistress Tawny liked it when Jade _behaved_ , but...yeah, that wasn’t appropriate morning coffee conversation. Or any conversation.

Speaking of conversation, Tori knew they needed to talk. But this was definitely not the right time. Even if Jade was verbal, she was _still_ Jade, and since they weren’t filming anything today, she wasn’t a morning person.

Tori didn’t know when the right time was, but she knew it had to be soon.

Just as soon as the thought of telling Jade how she was feeling stopped making her stomach twist and jump and her tongue turn to knots.

-

It was late Friday afternoon, and Jade was driving home from a shoot against the sun as it began to dip toward the horizon. She was dragging, a little; there hadn’t been time to really grab any coffee or eat much since breakfast, so she was driving around the city, trying to find a coffee shop or something that she could actually park near.

She was feeling moody, cursing traffic, and also indecisive. She should probably eat an actual meal, but finding a decent cup of coffee seemed more important, and nothing about this whole situation was helping her mood. There was a particular coffee shop she was _sure_ was around here somewhere, but she couldn’t seem to find it.

Just as Jade was considering saying _fuck it_ and driving off toward a neighborhood she knew better so she could find what she was looking for, she felt her car lurch, whine, and start slowing down.

“Oh, fuck, shit, no, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, _NO_!” Jade screamed, pounding her steering wheel futilely. She wasn’t going very fast, but her car had just enough momentum for her to cut down the next side street she saw and come to a crooked stop behind a car parked along the curb, the tail end of her Buick totally blocking the car parked perpendicular to her.

And then, her car was silent. Jade tried to turn the key a few times. _Nothing_. Not even a sputter.

“Fuck you, _fuck you_ , god DAMN IT, FUCK!” Jade screamed, pounding the steering wheel a few more times for good measure, but then all she could do was slump forward on it, defeated.

She started crying. She was hungry, she was worn out, and she was sitting in a broken down car, parked illegally, and nothing was going right. Not knowing what else to do, Jade called her mom. She forced herself to get control and, voice lifeless, told her mom her car had broken down and where she was.

And then, she just waited, crying silently, feeling utterly numb. She was supposed to be an adult, but she felt utterly defeated. All she really had the emotional bandwidth to handle was waiting for her mom.

Eventually, she noticed a familiar car, parking on the other side of the side street, a little further down. She watched dully as her mom got out of the car and started hurrying toward Jade, who had pulled herself together, she thought, but her mom visibly hesitated at the sight of her, so she must look pretty bad. Tiffany circled around to the passenger’s seat of the car and got in, “Oh, honey,” she said, “I’m so sorry.” Jade just nodded, unable to speak. “Did you already call the Auto Club?” Tiffany asked.

Jade scowled, “ _What_ Auto Club? I just moved back here, I never got around to joining any _Auto Club_.”

“Jeez, sorry, just checking,” Tiffany said, “Here, it’s okay, I’ll call them now.”

“Sorry,” Jade mumbled, wiping at her eyes in frustration, “I’m just..really hungry and upset about this.”

“I know,” Tiffany replied with a sympathetic smile, phone to her ear. Jade listened as she talked on the phone, not really retaining any of it, until her mother hung up. “Okay,” she said, “They say the tow truck will take about forty-five minutes to get here, so why don’t we go into that little sushi place right there,” she indicated the restaurant on the corner just next to them, “And get you something to eat while we wait.”

“Okay,” Jade whispered.

She followed her mother into the small restaurant where they were seated at a small table next to the window so they could keep an eye out for the tow truck driver. Tiffany’s phone rang again and when she answered, it was obviously the auto club needing clarification on something. Without a word, she picked up Jade’s keys off the table (with no resistance or questioning, Jade didn’t have the energy for it) and disappeared to likely retrieve a piece of paperwork from the car, based on the single side of the conversation that was happening in front of her.

While her mother handled the call, Jade looked over the menu, grateful to note the restaurant served coffee. She ordered one for herself and a green tea for her mother, then tried to make the impossible decision of what she wanted to eat when everything appealed to her hungry stomach. Tiffany returned with a handful of various papers and registration cards from the glove compartment. As she flipped through them, something clattered onto the table top.

It was a key chain that connected to a chunk of amber with a scorpion trapped inside of it. From the Museum of Large Bones.

_“And when I look at it, I’ll think of you. Tori Vega, a dead scorpion, trapped forever.”_

She hadn't intended for it to be true when she’d said it to Tori, but the second Jade laid eyes on the souvenir, memories flooded her mind. How she'd spent that entire evening stalking around Los Angeles, making Cat assist her in some bizarre quest to prove Tori was or wasn't up to something. Realizing she wasn't angry about Tori and Beck's weird friendship date. Asking Tori to be her girlfriend. Changing their statuses on The Slap. Going to see the big bone because Tori was the kind of nerd who loved that shit. Removing the scorpion from her keys after that fateful trip to Canada. Throwing the thing into the glove box so it was out of sight, apparently for a decade.

Jade just crumbled. Right there, in Sushi-Me, early on a Friday evening, in front of her mother, she gave in to the pull of her shoulders sagging downward as if they might as well drag her into the earth below the linoleum and concrete and whatever else was underneath this stretch of Coldwater Canyon Avenue, dropped her face into her hands, and began to sob.

She felt a reaffirming squeeze on her shoulder from her mom. She heard the server ask if they needed more time, but Tiffany went ahead and ordered something Jade couldn't really comprehend through her tears. She allowed herself just to rest her head against the table and cry about everything she'd lost over time: her rising-star indie film career, what had seemed like a strong and healthy relationship with Tori, the potential of something new with Lana, her friendship with Grandma Jean, and the possibility of something more than basic friendship with someone she wanted to be closer to. Not that any kind of relationship with Tori, platonic or otherwise, would ever be _basic_. But it was becoming apparent that there was an issue at the core of their friendship, namely the fact that intimacy was so easy for them, even when it wasn't appropriate.

There was a point when she'd stopped crying and finally lifted herself back up, groping for the napkin so she could wipe her eyes, knowing her makeup was already destroyed. There was a cup of coffee next to her, so she gravitated to it, took a long, meditative sip, then excused herself to use the restroom, knowing she was a mess. By the time she freshened up and returned to the table, there was a small bowl of miso soup waiting for her and the contents of the car's glove compartment were nowhere to be seen.

"Thanks for ordering," Jade said, quietly, trying not to embarrassingly dive into her soup. As if she hadn't just bawled like a baby in front of the entire restaurant.

To Tiffany's credit, she waited until Jade had downed about half the bowl before asking, "Honey, what's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?" Jade asked, as if there were actually any chance of side-stepping this conversation. But she caved after only two more spoonfuls. "Maybe it's good the car finally died. I think it has too many ties to the past," she said. Even just mentioning said ties conjured up a dozen more recollections of conversations and make-out sessions, memories she didn't want to lose forever but maybe that she didn't need to have staring her in the face every time she literally looked in her rear view mirror.

Tiffany gently slid her own soup bowl aside. "Is this about Tori?"

Shit, was she that transparent? "I guess, yeah."

"I know you two were thick as thieves the weekend of the funeral. Not that any of us expected you not to be."

"Wait. Who's _us_?"

"David, Holly, and myself."

Ugh, everyone had been watching them. Next her mother was about to tell her they'd placed bets, just like their friends at the reunion. "Is it always going to be like this? People watching us and expecting something to happen?"

"Is something happening?"

"No!" was Jade's exasperated reply. She was so tired of this, of having to guess what Tori was thinking, of having to correct people's opinions about their friendship. "I...it's not that I wouldn't want it...I just know she's over it." Her voice shook a little as she said it, allowing herself to consider the reality of it. But it was true, wasn't it? Tori didn't do relationships. She was content with her job, her home, her cat that wasn't her cat, and her casual friendship with Jade. "So, we're friends."

"Is that enough for you?" asked Tiffany, concern in her eyes.

"It'll have to be." Jade mentally talked herself through three deep breaths and even forced a smile as a tray of rainbow roll was placed on the table. "Can we just worry about the car, for now?"

Tiffany’s face took on a smile of genuine excitement, “It sounds like we might be going car shopping, huh?”

“I guess so,” Jade replied, “I mean...that car is actually _ancient_ at this point. Hardly seems worth trying to repair it.”

Tiffany nodded, “You’re right. It’s time to move on from it, you said so yourself.”

Jade swallowed thickly, but nodded her agreement. Which was how, after sushi, they ended up emptying her old car of everything, and having it towed to Tiffany’s preferred car dealership. Jade rode with her, and the two of them drove to the dealership ahead of the tow truck.

“This is a great time to get a good deal, they’re always trying to hit their sales quotas at the end of an evening or the end of the week,” Tiffany disclosed as they parked.

“I just want something sensible,” Jade replied. She’d just bought a jacuzzi, practically on a whim. She needed to be fiscally responsible, even if she was a homeowner. Who knew how long this tenuous situation could last, with she and Tori owning a house?

“Whatever you want, honey,” Tiffany encouraged as they started walking through the lot, browsing the cars.

Jade genuinely wanted something simple, maybe another sedan. There was comfort in a basic four-door, she could likely find something several years old for a reasonable price that would last her for awhile. But as they looked, Jade found her eye drawn to a sporty muscle car that wasn’t _brand_ new but was close to it.

Her mother noticed where she was looking and nudged her, “Women _love_ cars like that. And so do men.”

Jade rolled her eyes, “Yeah, I know, I literally dated ‘the boy with the car’ for half of high school.” Even before Beck had gotten his license, he’d worked on his classic car in his driveway, maintaining it for everyone to see. Like so many things about dating him, it had driven Jade insane with jealousy at the attention he got, from as many flirtatious girls as curious gearhead guys. But she’d been left with no doubts about what kinds of cars were considered sexy.

“I’m just saying,” Tiffany held her hands up, “You don’t _have_ to shop sensibly, you know.”

“I really just want something simple,” Jade insisted, her eyes moving past the flashy car to the large pickup truck next to it, last year’s model. Looking at it, Jade remembered driving David’s SUV, and the way being so high above everyone else on the road made her feel powerful, secure. Maybe that was what appealed to her about the truck. The power. Her eyes flicked back to the sports car. There was power in that, too.

Tiffany was still watching her. “I meant what I said, I can help you put a bit of a down payment on something if you want to splurge a little. You deserve to have something nice, you know.”

Maybe her mother was right. Jade had been driving around Los Angeles to her jobs in an ancient little Buick for far too long. Maybe if she wanted to be treated like a professional filmmaker, she had to play the part a little bit.

A nice car could certainly help her do that. She guessed the only question was, which nice car did she want? The sports car screamed status, but was it really all that practical? The truck obviously had a lot of room for hauling gear, and because it had an extended cab, she wasn’t limited in seating space, either. But was she really the kind of woman who drove a _truck_?

“What are you thinking?” Tiffany asked, “A salesman will probably approach us any minute. I’m surprised no one has by now.”

“Okay,” Jade caved, “I like the sports car, but I like the truck, too.”

“The truck?” Tiffany sounded surprised.

Jade rolled her eyes, “I promise you, some women like trucks, too, Mom. Besides, I’m not picking a car to get a girlfriend.”

"You should at least be open to whatever the universe offers to you," Tiffany advised.

"Here comes someone." They were being approached, but perhaps not by the type of salesperson her mother had expected.

But that didn't stop Tiffany from adjusting her cleavage before smiling widely at the woman who walked toward them. She looked to be a little older than Jade, with blonde-white hair pulled back into a flawless ponytail that hung straight down between her shoulder blades and a crisp blue pantsuit that reminded her of something Tori might wear.

"Hello, ladies," she said, offering her hand and giving them both a handshake that felt too firm for her small frame. Honestly, she wasn't much taller than Cat and that was with the heels she had on. "Have you had enough time to browse the lot?"

"We've been looking, yes," replied Tiffany, before Jade could even say anything. "I'm Tiffany and this is my bisexual daughter, Jade."

" _Mom_."

But Tiffany ignored her and continued. "So the real debate here has been which one is sexier, the muscle car or the pickup," Tiffany indicated to the vehicles in question.

"Well," began the sales representative, who took all of Tiffany's antics in stride, "first of all, my name is Bianca and it's nice to meet you. As far as this _debate_ ," Bianca placed herself between Jade and Tiffany so they were all three lined up and looking at the car and the truck together. She crossed her arms and looked from one to the other. "Jade, what kind of work do you do?"

"Photography." It had been Jade's short answer for a long time.

But it wasn't enough for Tiffany. "She's a director. She's been to Sundance."

"Mom, seriously."

"No, no. Tiffany has a point," Bianca replied, spinning back around to face them. "You're probably thinking the Mustang's too flashy, but it's status and, face it. It's cool." Okay, yeah. Bianca wasn't wrong. "And the F150 feels obnoxious for the city, but you can easily load up and get things done." _Damn_ , she was good at this.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Bianca nodded, thoughtfully. "So, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions and just say the first thing you think of, okay?"

This was not how she expected car shopping to go, but whatever. "Fine, sure."

"Morning or evening?"

Easy. "Evening."

"Beach or mountains?"

"Mountains. I burn too easily and hate the ocean."

"Beauty or function?"

Jade hesitated, because beauty was relative and she knew she had a strong preference for aesthetic. But she also preferred things that ran smoothly because they were efficient. "Gonna go with...function."

Bianca clasped her hands together in finality. "Then I think you'll be happiest with the truck."

"I...think you're right," Jade agreed.

"Then let's take a look at it," Bianca grandly gestured toward the all-black Ford F150. "After you."

The truck...was awesome. Not only was the exterior entirely black, including the grill and the bumpers, but the interior was dark red vegan leather. Which was why they apparently called this model the Black Widow. Just like Chandra's character in her movie. Okay, maybe this was meant to be.

"I really love it," Jade admitted, sitting up in the driver's seat, her mother next to her fiddling with the buttons along the dash.

"What's the asking price on this?" Tiffany asked, slipped down out of the truck to speak directly with Bianca.

Jade couldn't quite hear the reply, but she'd already looked at the sticker on the window. It was...more than she should be spending. But then she heard the distinct back and forth of her mother haggling, something she'd witness more than a few times in her life. Her mom was a woman who knew how to wrangle a bargain which made her, in this moment, the exact right person to have alongside her. She figured she should probably take part in a discussion about how much money she was spending, so she slid down out of the driver's side, but when her feet hit the ground, her mother was already waiting for her with a sly smile on her face.

"Are you going to actually tell me what you talked about?" prodded Jade.

Tiffany examined her nails, appearing nonchalant. "Oh, just another couple thousand off the already discounted price."

"I've got to admit, you're really good at this."

"What's that? Praise from my daughter?"

The wind was beginning to pick up and there was a dry quality to it, which suggested they were Santa Ana winds, blowing toward the coast from the desert inland areas. They were supposed to carry mystical energy and make people behave oddly, so maybe that was why Jade found herself giving her mother a hug in the parking lot of a car dealership on a Friday evening.

They followed Bianca inside and took their seats in a small office with a large glass window that faced into the showroom where they were offered sparkling waters. As the paperwork process began, Jade again wondered if this was something she could really afford, even with her mother's contribution. Technically, she could. She still had the savings stash from when she was looking for a place of her own. And, she had her half of equity in the house if there was some kind of emergency, but that would only help her if Tori could afford to buy her out or if they sold the property.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it," chided her mother.

"You don't know what I'm thinking," Jade replied.

"I know what that look means. It means you're fretting about something."

"Fretting?" Jade asked, amused.

"Worrying."

"I know what it means, Mom."

"Mmhmm. You've done it ever since you were little. You once told me your imagination was going too fast."

"I did?" Jade had no memory of saying anything like that to her mom.

Tiffany nodded. "You were such a pensive little girl. And then you got your period, grew boobs overnight, and started decorating your room like a mortuary."

Jade chuckled. "Pretty sure I was still pensive, I just expressed it differently."

Her phone buzzed and, for a moment, she assumed it was Tori probably wondering where she was. Not that they had plans. She was just usually home by now and they sometimes had a little weed on the patio together. Also, it was nice to have someone check in when she was out on jobs. If she never made it home for some reason, Tori would likely be the first to notice.

But the notification wasn't a text, it was an email.

Specifically, it was an email from the production team at _Warehouse District_ , a comedy series about a group of friends in Williamsburg, inquiring if she was available to direct an episode. Normally, this kind of thing would route through an agent, but she hadn't had one since the fire behind _Not My Problem_ had extinguished itself.

"What is it?" Tiffany asked, trying to peer at the screen.

Jade was too surprised at the offer to scold her for being nosy. "Someone wants to hire me to direct something. In New York."

Tiffany gasped. "Oh my god, it's a sign! You're supposed to get this truck to further your career."

"I'm supposed to get a truck that I have to leave in LA for a month while I'm in New York?" She knew what her mother was getting at, but that didn't mean she wanted to make it easy for her.

"It's the Law of Attraction. You buy the truck with the intent of getting more professional work--"

"Technically all the work I do for money is professional."

"--and the universe responds with a job." Tiffany sighed, happily. "Things are going to pick up for you, I can feel it."

Even though her mother was being weird and embarrassing and spouting new age nonsense, Jade did appreciate her bizarre method of support. "Thanks, Mom."

Bianca returned with the finalized financial details and, as Jade signed her name on the line, she decided that maybe she actually did feel a sense of something settling...or maybe lifting...but definitely a shift of progress. Or maybe she was just a woman buying a truck.

-

Tori was enjoying her evening, decompressing at the picnic table with her vape. It felt like a long day, and okay, maybe kind of a long week, too, even though both had been pretty standard. Probably it was the prospect of talking to Jade, weighing on her.

Which, Jade wasn’t even home yet. Not that they had to be totally accountable to one another’s whereabouts, but it did seem a little odd. Still, Tori wasn’t all that bothered. Jade had her own life to live.

The evening was unseasonably warm for October, a restless, dry breeze swirling through that didn’t cut into the warmth at all. Tori gazed out over the lawn that Jade mowed, the jacuzzi that Jade bought, the shed where Jade had seen the spanking bench she’d reappropriated, and decided it was time to be productive before her stoned headspace brought her into a more contemplative mood.

She took one last big drag from her vape--which, maybe she didn’t need, because she was _already_ pretty faded, but _whatever_ , it was Friday evening, she didn’t have anywhere to be but home, and she deserved to relax, damn it.

She pocketed her vape and went into her house. It was trash night, so she emptied all the trash cans in her house into her kitchen trash and hauled the bag outside. Then, she started dragging the big blue garbage bin to the gate in order to pull it to the curb.

When she opened the gate, she was surprised to see Jade in the driveway, walking toward her.

“I didn’t hear you come home,” Tori said, surprised, wrestling the trash can through the opening.

“Well, here I am,” Jade offered a smile, and took the can from Tori to wheel it away from the gate.

But Tori was already looking past her, to the end of the driveway, where a giant black truck was blocking the entrance. “Oh my god. How far away did you have to park? Who the fuck is the _asshole_ who parked their big-ass truck right there? What a hideous, gas-guzzling, _monstrosity_! I’ll be having a _word_ with whoever is that _irresponsible_ and _rude_!” Tori ranted, holding open the gate for Jade.

But Jade just looked utterly amused, “Okay, first of all, _it’s a hybrid_. And second of all, it’s mine.”

It took a couple of seconds for the impact to hit Tori. “It’s _yours_?” she finally said, as Jade dropped the gear she was carrying on the picnic table and Tori followed her over to the recycling and yard waste bins so they could drag them around front.

“Yep,” Jade replied, almost cheerful.

“I...it’s...what happened to your car?” Tori asked.

“It died, finally. It was about time, really.”

“Oh,” Tori held open the gate for Jade as she pulled the yard waste bin through, and then Jade turned to hold it for her as she pulled the recycling bin. Tori was unexpectedly...sad about Jade’s Buick. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to your old car,” she said, melancholic.

Jade glanced at her, “Don’t worry. It’s in a better place now,” she snarked.

Tori shook her head. Jade’s good mood over her new car was kind of infectious. Maybe it was silly to be bummed about her old Buick, but...she had so many _memories_ attached to it. So many evenings on their overlook. So much of their early sexual exploration, in that back seat. Getting her confidence back for her driver’s test. _Taking_ her driver’s test. So many kisses. The first time she’d ever really collaborated on a film project with Jade, when she’d jumped out of the car in the desert, which...had Jade _ever_ done anything with that footage? But Tori remembered less of that and more of the way they’d kissed, in the privacy of Shadow Creek Park, making them both late for school.

What the Shaggin’ Wagon had become for the latter half of their relationship, Jade’s car had been for the beginning. Tori realized she had even more sympathy now for how Jade felt when she’d sold her car, when Tori was trying to make things work in Canada.

They rolled the bins to the edge of the curb together. Tori was closer, now, getting a good look at Jade’s new car. “Okay, but...why a truck?” she wondered.

“Why not?” was Jade’s reply, “Lots of room to haul things, you’re powerful on the road, and it’s called the Black Widow, so that basically sealed the deal.” She watched Tori, who was eyeing the car uncertainly.

“Will it even fit in our driveway?” she wondered.

Jade shrugged, “I can park on the street. And I’ll park better next time. People in our neighborhood will learn to respect my parking space.”

“Uh huh,” Tori replied uncertainly.

“Want to get in it?” Jade asked.

Tori shrugged, “Sure, let’s see it.”

The truck emitted a light chirping sound and Tori heard the locks disengage. She opened the door and swung herself up into the passenger’s seat as Jade climbed into the driver’s seat. The inside was red, and she could absolutely understand why this particular vehicle had appealed to Jade. She looked around at the interior. Her car was pretty new, but this one was newer, and the technology-laden dashboard reflected that.

Jade turned on the car with the press of a button, and the quiet motor thrummed to life, the dashboard lit up. Music started playing, apparently a playlist from Jade’s PearPhone, and maybe Tori was pretty high (okay, _definitely_ Tori was pretty high) but the acoustics in the truck sounded _really_ nice. Tori took in the experience. The interior felt roomy, comfortable, atmospherically _warm_.

Jade was watching her, “What do you think?” she asked.

Tori was still nodding to herself. “I like it,” she said slowly, “It feels...we’re so high.”

Jade laughed, “Maybe _you’re_ so high.”

“No, I mean...off the ground. It’s a little weird.”

“Yeah. I like that about it,” Jade said.

“But it’s _nice_ in here,” Tori said, “Like...it feels like I should be recording a song or something. Like a recording booth.” It was hard to explain, but that was the feeling she got from it. Like she was secluded, but with a view to an outside that she could observe from a place of power.

It must not have made sense to Jade, though, because she just laughed. “ _What_? Okay. You are high. And it must be good shit.”

“It is,” Tori replied, pulling her vape out of her pocket. “This one’s called Diamond City, a pretty even hybrid. Great head high. Super chill.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty chill, all right,” Jade watched her with a soft smile.

“You want some?” Tori asked.

“Sure.”

“Should we wait until we’re out of your truck?”

Jade shrugged, cranking up the air. “Doesn’t matter to me. The air is on, the vape doesn’t really have a lingering odor.”

“Just didn’t want to wreck your new car smell.” Jade snorted, reaching for the vape. “Wait for it to turn green,” Tori reminded her.

Jade nodded and took a couple of hits before passing it back to Tori, who turned it off and cleared any vapor that was still in the device. There was a sense of intimacy, sitting in Jade’s new car, sharing weed, having just taken the trash out for their shared home.

Tori enjoyed the moment, because things felt _nice_.

The next afternoon, Tori was relaxing on the couch when Jade knocked on her back door. She waved for her to come in, and Jade stepped inside, carrying her VR headset. “What’s up?” Tori asked her.

Jade shrugged, eyes moving toward Tori’s TV, “I wondered if you wanted to see some of the footage from the shoot last week,” she said, “But I can come back if you’re busy.”

Tori chuckled, “I’m not busy. Yeah, I’d love to see it.” She got up from the couch and opened a drawer on her entertainment center, pulling out her own VR headset.

Jade stared, “This whole time, you _had_ one?” she asked incredulously.

Tori wasn’t sure why Jade was surprised, “Of course I do. It’s part of my business.”

Jade shook her head, “Okay, sure, right.”

“You can throw what you’re looking at to my screen, do you know how?” Tori asked.

“I’ll figure it out,” Jade replied.

They sat on the couch together, headsets on, and before long, Tori was prompted to accept the screen share from Jade. She saw an image of herself at the Officer Pedesko desk that had been repurposed for the scene, bending over papers and looking intense, and Chandra nearby seated in a chair, looking distraught. Tori, of course, knew what her setups looked like from inside a VR headset, but something about the fact that it was _Jade’s_ project made everything feel so much different. The space had an entirely different atmosphere, and it somehow already had the feeling of a gritty detective story before it even started playing.

“Ready?” she dimly heard Jade next to her. Even without sound coming from the VR headset, it was easy for all of one’s senses to get absorbed when one was in it.

“Ready,” Tori replied.

She sat and watched the scene unfold before her, saw the way that Jade’s blocking had utilized the space that the VR setup afforded them, understood the physical way the audience could almost _feel_ Tori’s detective character’s pursuit of Chandra’s murderess character. Tori thought they were mostly watching footage from later in the day, when Jade let them play around a little more.

Jade showed her a few different cuts of the test, and overall, Tori was impressed. She knew that she and Chandra had done well playing off of each other, but seeing what Jade had done with it made her feel even prouder to be a part of it. It was something she didn’t quite know how to express without gushing too hard. “Jade, this is amazing,” she told her once their headsets were off.

“Yeah?” Jade said, “Because you’re the VR professional here, so your honest feedback--”

“I _am_ being honest,” Tori replied, “You’re doing something that looks _so different_ from what I do with the technology, and it really works for the story you’re trying to tell. You have such a good eye for this stuff, it’s damn brilliant,” Tori finished. Nothing she was saying was a lie or even an exaggeration, but something about the level of praise made her feel exposed.

Jade was scrutinizing her, but she was smiling slightly. “That means a lot,” she finally said.

“Plans for today?” Tori asked her, changing the subject.

Jade shrugged, “I don’t know. Have you been outside?”

“Not since this morning,” Tori replied.

“It’s so damn hot, even the jacuzzi doesn’t sound fun. Kinda just want to stay in.”

“I was afraid of that,” Tori sighed, “That wind this morning was bad enough.”

“Ugh, yeah, it’s still happening, too,” Jade made a face, “I can hear it trying to knock my house over.”

“Want to just hang out here for a while?” Tori asked, sympathizing with Jade’s anxiety. Jade would never express it directly, but Tori could easily imagine Jade cringing every time a strong, hot gust of wind made the tiny house groan. “Oh!” Tori realized, “I’m behind on a couple episodes of _Weed Wars_ , have you watched them?” She didn’t think Jade had, because they’d talked about them as something they wanted to watch together, but with dinner feeling kind of awkward last Sunday and Jade working for most of the Sunday before, they hadn’t gotten together to watch the new episodes.

Jade shook her head. “I’m behind, too, and there’s a new one tomorrow, yeah? We do need to catch up.” She put her headset down on the coffee table, right on top of the puzzle Tori was working on.

Tori eyed her sharply.

“What?” Jade asked, and followed Tori’s eyes as they flicked to her headset. “Oh,” she said, “Wait, are you actually working on this?”

“Why _else_ would there be a puzzle on my coffee table?”

“I don’t know,” Jade admitted, “I just didn’t think…”

“Here, I’m going to put on _Weed Wars_ ,” Tori said, picking up the box of puzzle pieces from where it had been resting on the lower shelf of her coffee table, “And _you_ can help me by trying to find the one edge piece I can’t fucking find.” She had the edge of the puzzle all put together aside from, she assumed, one missing piece, and was starting to fill in some of the more obvious objects in the puzzle. It was an oceanscape, with a depiction of life under the sea. Probably not realistic, but fun, with a variety of fish and other creatures represented.

They let _Weed Wars_ play as they worked idly on the puzzle, Jade griping the whole time that she thought this was stupid and that she hated the ocean, but she stayed even after they caught up on both episodes and Tori switched to a stupid, mindless, insipid reality show that neither of them were even paying attention to at this point. They had both become invested in the puzzle, she could tell, despite Jade’s continued insistence that she hated it. Jade stayed even after Tori ordered pizza, and they were forced not to touch the puzzle pieces with their greasy fingers and actually watch _Slightly Less Gorgeous_.

“This show is terrible,” Jade commented.

“It really is,” Tori let her eyes stray to the puzzle.

“The ocean puzzle is better than this garbage.”

“I can switch to something else.”

Jade shook her head, “Nah, it’s whatever. We’re about to dive back into it, anyway.”

Tori smirked at her, “I thought you hated this puzzle.”

“Whatever,” Jade rolled her eyes, “I’ve reached the point where I need to conquer it.”

They finished eating and went back to focusing on the puzzle. Tori wondered whether she should try to say something tonight, but dismissed it quickly. They were actually being _friends_ in this moment, and it was _comfortable_. It was a lot of what she missed about having Jade in her life, the way that they could always enjoy spending time together, even when they weren’t doing anything all that exciting.

So Tori held her tongue, and let their evening together continue.

Until Jade’s phone buzzed. She frowned, slid it out of her pocket, and Tori watched as her eyes went wide. “Oh, uh. _Shit_. I’m supposed to be on a date right now.”

Tori felt her eyebrows climb, “Oh, geez, wow,” she said stupidly, “What are you--I guess you’d better…”

Jade stood up, “Yeah, I guess I’d better go…” she said, sounding distracted as she tapped away on her phone, “I’ll see you when I get back?” she glanced at Tori.

“I’ll try to save some of this puzzle for you,” Tori wiggled her eyebrows, trying to keep her smile.

“You’d better, Vega,” Jade shot her a smirk, and then was out the back door. Tori could see the wind buffeting her hair briefly as she hurried into the guest house. A minute or so later, she was hurrying through the gate and Tori could faintly hear (probably only because she was listening for it) her truck start and drive away.

Tori forced herself to focus on her puzzle, and not on the bitterness in her chest. She refused to let herself consider the _slight_ possibility that maybe she might’ve waited too long to say something. This was why they needed boundaries. Tori couldn’t be jealous over her _friend_ going on a _date_.

Instead, she sorted through the pieces of a different sort of puzzle, one she was determined to get right.

-

Jade wanted to tell herself that she didn’t know how she’d forgotten about this date, but the truth was, she hadn’t thought about it since the upheaval of her car breaking down and everything that had come with that. She’d set the date earlier in the week, and they’d exchanged a couple of messages after that, but then it had totally slipped her mind.

But luckily, Astra was forgiving when Jade apologized for running late and hurried to meet her. They were meeting at Static Roasters, because Astra was apparently as much a coffee nerd as Jade was. She was also, it turned out, more stunning in person than her photos led Jade to believe (and her photos were already quite attractive). Long dark braids, light copper complexion, striking high cheekbones. She flashed Jade a smile that made her return one of her own as Jade stepped up to the counter to order her drink.

Once they were sitting together and comparing flavor notes of their coffees, any nervousness Jade had about being late to her date had evaporated. Astra was easy to talk to, beautiful, and Jade admired her taste in coffee. She found herself almost bringing up Tori, and her Chemex, when she had to admit she used a French press at home, but stifled her impulse. She allowed Astra to rib her a little bit for not having the patience for pour-over coffee at home, and let it be.

“So what do you do?” Astra asked.

Jade’s standard answer of “I’m a photographer,” didn’t feel strong enough, or true enough, in this moment in time, not when she’d just been invited to direct an episode of an actual, airing television show in New York, “and a filmmaker,” she added.

Astra nodded, “So you _are_ Jade West. I saw your movie.”

“Yeah?” Jade asked, though she was more worried about having to answer more of the same questions that everybody asked her than looking to get her ego stroked. Also, even though her scissHER profile listed her as Jade W., she hadn’t really expected anybody to make that sort of connection.

“I really like it,” Astra continued, “This might sound weird, but it kind of reminded me of that movie from the 80s, _Eating Raoul_? Totally different genre, but I wonder if it influenced you at all.”

Jade perked up, because _holy shit_ , was she actually talking to someone who knew about quirky cinema, too? “Yes! Actually, that was an influence. I wanted the comedic elements of my film to feel a lot like that movie.”

Astra laughed, “Well, you definitely pulled it off. The comic relief broke the tension while also heightening the tension if that makes any sense.”

Jade smiled, “A perfect description.”

They discussed movies for a little while, and in spite of the fact that Astra was engaging, had as good taste in movies as she did in coffee, and had a lot of interesting perspectives on films they were both familiar with, Jade found her thoughts drifting continually to Tori, to doing an ocean-themed puzzle with trashy TV playing in the background.

It hardly made any sense, but a part of Jade just wanted to be there, instead, bitching over the dolphin Tori had pieced together and sneering at the television. Because somehow, Tori had made even _that_ fun.

But Jade stayed focused on Astra, kept her thoughts away from the enigmatic smile Tori gave her as she left for her date. But...Jade hated that she’d left her alone, actually, even though Tori never seemed to mind her solitude.

Their coffee cups were drained, and it was getting late enough in the evening that the baristas were starting to shut things down behind the counter. Jade blinked when she realized she and Astra had been chatting for almost an hour and a half. Time had flown by.

“Hey, so, how do you feel about weird, old things?” Astra asked.

Jade raised an eyebrow, “You might have to be a little more specific.”

“Like, weird, old, dead things.”

“My interest is potentially very high.”

“Well,” Astra leaned forward onto the table, “How’d you like to go to the Museum of Large Bones with me? They just got a new triceratops scapula that’s supposed to be impressive.”

There was a sinking feeling in Jade’s chest as she froze on the spot, just like that scorpion trapped in amber. “I, uh,” she began, “I actually...can’t do that with you.” She couldn’t even come up with a good excuse.

But Astra seemed to read something in her expression, and just nodded, “Okay,” she replied simply, “I’ll let you go, then. But I had a really great time tonight, Jade.”

“I did, too,” Jade replied honestly. Because, fuck, she _had_. Astra was gorgeous, smart, fun, and liked so many of the same things Jade did.

But she wasn’t Tori. And Jade was going to have to figure out how to make that work for herself. “Message me, if you want to do this again,” Astra grinned, her hand covering Jade’s for a brief moment before she got up from the booth and was out the front door.

“I will,” Jade said absently, to no one. She couldn’t even tell if she was lying to herself.

Jade gathered herself and waved to the barista who told her to have a nice night, getting back into her truck and driving home. When she parked in front of the house, she noticed the living room was dark.

Maybe Tori was already in bed. Jade stepped out, feeling a dry gust of wind whip her hair into her face as she unlocked the gate. She hurried into the guest house as the wind started picking up even more.

Damn Santa Ana winds. She could _hear_ them moving around her house as she unlaced her boots and then moved to sit on her couch.

She picked up her PearPhone and opened Spectrogram idly, considering posting the picture of the coffee she’d purchased that evening. But what would she even say?

She noticed that Mary Jane had posted a story and she clicked it curiously. And was faced with the very puzzle she’d worked on that evening, completed, with the words _My Saturday night_ and a tree emoji and two-fingered V emoji dancing in the corners of the story.

Jade felt unexpectedly despondent about it, but she replied to the story in the text field at the bottom of the screen.

**ScissorLuv: You couldn’t have done it without me finding that corner piece!**

She glanced through her window. There was light in Tori’s bedroom. She probably wasn’t asleep yet. Jade would probably be up for a couple more hours, but she figured she should at least undress so she could watch TV in bed or something.

As Jade was pulling on a tank top to sleep in, her phone buzzed on the comforter.

**MoustacheMaryJane: Your contributions were greatly appreciated!**

Jade smiled, but even that didn’t feel like enough. It was stupid to regret not being there for the completion of the puzzle she’d complained about all night, but she did.

**ScissorLuv: Am I talking to Mary Jane right now? :P**

**MoustacheMaryJane: Well, I did have an edible after you left, so...yes?**

**MoustacheMaryJane: How was your date?**

**ScissorLuv: It was good**

**ScissorLuv: Next time you do a puzzle, count me in.**

**MoustacheMaryJane: Dude. I so will.**

**MoustacheMaryJane: Good night, Jade**

**ScissorLuv: Night, Tori**

**ScissorLuv: Er, Mary Jane?**

**MoustacheMaryJane: :{)**

The next morning, Jade was eating toast at her kitchen island and working on her first cup of coffee when she saw Tori come outside with her Chemex and a coffee cup. But Tori walked straight past the picnic table, wind whipping her hair all around her face, and knocked on her door. Jade got up to unlock it, letting her in.

“It is _way_ too windy to sit out there,” Tori commented, setting the Chemex and her coffee cup down on Jade’s counter and then smoothing out her hair.

“Looks it,” Jade grunted, “Come on in, then.”

Tori eyed her, “I’m already in.”

“And you brought coffee, so I’m okay with it.”

Tori smiled, poured her own cup, and then held the Chemex out to Jade. Jade drained her cup and nodded, letting Tori refill her.

Tori took a seat next to her at the kitchen island, looking at her phone quietly while Jade finished her toast and worked on her second cup of coffee. Jade thought it should feel different, having Tori join her for coffee in her own house, but mostly, she just liked that they were together, enjoying coffee, just like every other morning.

It was certainly better than the last time they’d shared coffee in Jade’s house, the morning after finding out about Grandma Jean.

The wind outside was audible, and then, unexpectedly, the lights flickered and dimmed for a full second, the pitch of Jade’s air condition changed audibly, and then everything was normal again.

She gazed at Tori, “That just happened, right?”

“Yeah,” Tori sighed, “Looks like we should prepare for a power outage with this wind. Do you have any candles or flashlights in here?”

“I have my phone,” Jade said. She also had at least a dozen powerful LED lights with battery backups that she used for work.

Tori eyed her, and shrugged, “I guess that counts. Just try to keep it charged.” She returned her attention to her phone.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jade rolled her eyes, and took a few moments to sip her coffee, but then asked, “What’s for dinner tonight?”

Tori blinked and lowered her phone, turning to Jade with a light smile, “I was thinking tacos, if that sounds good to you.”

“Sounds amazing,” Jade admitted. You really couldn’t go wrong with tacos. “Should we mix it up and do margaritas with them?” she asked.

Tori nodded thoughtfully, “Yeah, that sounds like fun. Let’s do that.”

“You’re all about _fun_ , aren’t you?” Jade teased.

“Always,” Tori smiled easily, tilting her coffee cup back to finish it. “Want any more?” she offered the Chemex.

Jade nodded, pushing her cup forward, letting Tori refill it. Tori gazed outside and sighed. “Still windy out there?” Jade asked. A bit of a stupid question, because they both could hear it.

“Yeah,” Tori nodded, “Windy and hot and dry.”

“Damn Santa Ana winds,” Jade griped.

“Grandma Jean always used to call them ‘the crazy-making winds,’” Tori revealed, tone nostalgic and affectionate.

“Well, they’re definitely making _me_ crazy,” Jade grumbled.

“They’re only supposed to last a couple of days,” Tori sighed, “So hopefully...hopefully they’ll be over by today.” There was another flicker of the lights, making them both exchange a glance.

“Hopefully,” Jade echoed.

“In the meantime, guess I have to brave them.” She picked up her coffee cup and her Chemex and headed for the door, “I’ll see you later.”

Jade nodded and waved, watching Tori hurry across the patio, watching the wind lift up her hair.

Jade continued with her morning as usual, checking to make sure nothing work-related demanded her attention while drinking more coffee. When she sat at her desk, her back was to the windows that showed the yard, so when she got up to refill her coffee cup, she noticed Tori outside on the lawn, on her yoga mat, struggling.

Pausing to stare out the window, Jade saw the way that, even with her hair tied back in the ponytail, the wind was pushing it so it was continually getting in her face. She was also much more flushed than usual, the gleam of sweat looking uncomfortable rather than an alluring shimmer. And, a particularly powerful gust seemed to knock Tori completely off balance.

Jade couldn’t hear her through the window, but she could tell by Tori’s expression as she picked herself up that she was cursing. Whatever was happening with this yoga session, Tori was far beyond just laughing at herself.

And, yep. Tori rolled up her yoga mat, still looking sour, and stomped back toward her back door.

The winds must be really brutal today, Jade mused.

But Jade still had her part to contribute today, too: yard work. Mowing the lawn in the middle of the day hadn’t been a big deal since fall had really started, but it was summer-hot today. Still, it was the time she had allotted to do it, so Jade slathered up in sunscreen, put on her sleeveless top and shorts, her hat and sunglasses, and went to pull the lawnmower out of the shed.

-

By the time Tori got out of the shower, she could hear the lawnmower running. She certainly didn’t envy Jade trying to deal with the lawn on a day like today. She dressed, choosing a summery dress, a style she didn’t wear often but that felt right with the hot weather today, and went back out to the kitchen to get some cool water out of the fridge. Through the kitchen window, she could see Jade, looking sweaty and angry--and covered in grass clippings--as she pushed the lawnmower around. It wasn’t very enjoyable to leer at her in that state, so Tori looked away, checking her pantry to make sure she had everything she needed for dinner that night.

Moments later, she heard the lawnmower turn off. Her attention was drawn to Jade again, who was emptying the grass clippings into the yard waste bin. Tori could barely see her from where she was standing in the kitchen, but she could certainly see the way the wind picked up, throwing grass into Jade’s face. Jade sputtered, cursed loudly enough for Tori to hear it and pushed as much of the grass mound into the yard waste bin as possible, brushing at her outfit with a continued stream of profanity as she wheeled the lawnmower back to the shed, then stormed back to the guest house, removing her shirt at the door to shake it off as much debris as possible before stepping inside.

Tori tried not to laugh. She was sympathetic, from the way the Santa Ana winds had made yoga practically impossible that morning, but Jade’s reactions were always so intense they sometimes amused her. But at least she’d managed not to leer. Even when Jade stripped at the door to her house.

Which brought her to considering their dinner for the evening, and the prospect of finally talking to Jade. Really, she wanted to emphasize that she wanted to be friends, but that their closeness was difficult for her sometimes. And that if they were going to be friends and neighbors who shared a house, maybe they needed to have some boundaries so they could continue to do this without things getting complicated.

Maybe it would be fine. Doing the puzzle together the night before had felt really good, like a really natural friendship. Maybe Tori didn’t even need to address her feelings. Jade had readily agreed to the boundaries Tori had proposed after dealing with Grandma Jean’s funeral, but the problem was, neither of them were specific about what those were supposed to be. That could be all that needed to be said. Specifying what the boundaries were that could keep their friendship from getting too intimate so Tori could move on from this.

Tori really didn’t have any idea how this conversation might go. But what she really wanted was to make sure they were able to stay friends.

Jade was too important to her to risk anything else.

-

Jade collected her purchases from the liquor store and braced herself as she climbed out of the truck, fighting the hot wind as it pushed back against the door. The quality of the heat in the air reminded her of visiting Pop Pop and Melody, her maternal grandparents, who lived in the desert about an hour outside of Los Angeles. She knew they'd moved while she was in New York, but she was pretty sure it wasn't that far from where they had been, just somewhere off the desert floor. The loss of Grandma Jean had her thinking about her own family and how she hadn't been to see them in far too long. Maybe that was something she needed to rectify.

Meanwhile, she'd been put in charge of gathering margarita supplies for tonight's dinner. With the bag of tequila, limes, and margarita mix in her hands, she didn't want to wrestle with the back gate, so she went straight for the front door of Tori's house, knocking first before just trying the door. But it was locked. So she rang the bell. A few times.

"You have a key," were Tori's first words to her when she yanked open the door.

"I don't keep it on me like a creep," Jade replied, taking shelter from the wind in the house.

Tori hummed in some kind of non-committal response and padded in her bare feet back toward the kitchen. Probably because of the unusually warm October weather, she had on a short, lightweight dress Jade hadn't seen before, a checkered thing with spaghetti straps (and apparently no bra, because Tori could get away with that kind of thing). Jade herself had succumbed to a tank top (with a bra, because _hello_ ) and shorts, something she normally would never wear in public outside of the beach.

She carried her purchases to the kitchen island and unpacked the margarita mix and limes. "I picked you up some top shelf tequila. It should last you a while," Jade said, placing a very tiny, individual sized bottle on the counter top.

"Hilarious," Tori mused, lips pressed together as she eyed the miniature serving.

"And this one," a much larger bottle emerged from the bag, "is for me."

"The last time I watched you drink tequila, you demanded everyone watch your one-woman performance of RENT and then you puked and passed out before Maureen even showed up."

That had been the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college, on a weekend the Vega parents had slipped out of town for the weekend (and Jade suddenly wondered just what they were doing in Santa Barbara, now that she had more information on their sex life that she'd never asked for). And, really, Jade remembered less of the party itself and more of the multiple times Tori brought up this particular story during their dating life.

"I'll pace myself. Where's the blender?" Jade followed the direction of Tori's pointed finger to a lower cabinet where she retrieved the appliance. She busied herself with the task of making the drinks, noticing that Tori had taken her mini-bottle of Patron Gold and was pouring it into two shot glasses, making for two comically tiny servings of alcohol, then slid one over to Jade. "What are we drinking to?" she asked, licking the space on her hand between her thumb and forefinger and shaking salt onto it. Maybe it had been a while since Tori had been around Jade and tequila, but tequila and Jade knew each other well enough.

Tori seemed like she might have something poignant to say, but then the wind rattled the roof. "How about the end of these damn winds?"

"Salud," toasted Jade, clinking her glass to Tori's, before they each followed the salt, shot, lime protocol.

And then the lights went out.

Fortunately, Tori had set up LED candles all through the kitchen and living room, probably after their conversation that morning, so the place was still lit well enough to see. It was just...moody. It did, however, mean Jade couldn't blend the margaritas.

"Guess it's on the rocks tonight," Tori commented, voice subdued.

Jade went back to mixing the drinks, preparing them in a regular pitcher, instead of the blender. She poured one for each of them, setting the glasses in their respective places on Tori's dining room table (there was no chance of eating outside in this weather). "Anything else I can help with?" she asked.

"I think everything else is ready." Tori had already set most of the meal out, she was just dishing the taco fixings onto some obnoxiously cute serving tray that was shaped like a taco.

Since Tori seemed to have it all under control, Jade slipped into her seat. "Everything looks amazing." It always did. Tori was a damn good cook. Except for that one time with the Thai food.

"You know what? I can't do it." Tori was facing away from her, hands pressed against the counter.

"Then let me help you, nerd." Jade was back on her feet, but Tori shook her head, still not looking at her.

"I mean I can't...I can't do _this_." Finally, she turned. She'd taken her glasses off; Jade could see them on the counter. "I can't _just be friends_."

That froze Jade where she stood, which was halfway between the table and the kitchen island. She looked at Tori in that stupid casual dress, illuminated like a figure in a silent film, the wind whipping outside the windows. The words had hit her unexpectedly and all she could do was let the impact sink in. A reply formed, an honest one that Jade wasn't sure she was ready to speak, but there was no use putting it off. "I don't think I can, either."

Tori visibly sagged, her gaze quickly shifting away from Jade to the unused blender that stood between them. "Then what are we supposed to do?"

Jade had an answer, unsure if it was the right one or even an appropriate one, but she offered it, anyway. "I want to try something," she said, shortening the distance between them with each step she took around the island to where Tori stood.

"What?" Tori asked, still avoiding Jade's eyes.

But Jade needed to see her, to look at her, to really _look at her_ , so she reached up and gently nudged her chin upward, until Tori was right there, sad dark eyes caught in hopeful blue. "All of it," Jade whispered.

Their noses bumped before their lips connected, in a way that was right for them, awkward but still sexy, still intimate. Cautious but still wanting. Jade took her time, trying to funnel everything she'd been feeling over the last few months into kiss after kiss after kiss. Tori's hand grabbed at the waistband of Jade's shorts, keeping her close, steady.

Then, Tori tilted her head away, breaking the contact of their mouths. "Wait," she breathed. "Hold on." She put her hand on Jade's chest, palm flat against the exposed skin of her sternum, not pushing her away, just connecting. "I need you to know...that I love you--" It was like Tori ran out of air and had to suck more back in before saying, "Like, I _still_ love you."

Jade brought her hand up over the one one her chest, her forehead against Tori's, eyes closed as she listened and heard what she'd so desperately wanted to hear so many years ago. And since. "I tried to stop," she said. "I _really_ tried." It was Jade's turn to draw in a deep breath before continuing. "But I never could."

Tori let her fingers interlace with Jade's. "You could just say you love me, too."

"I thought I just did."

She felt Tori surge into her, heard a whimper, though she couldn’t say whose throat it came from, and their lips connected again, slightly more urgent, but still dreamy, every bit of them that connected awakening emotion and sensation Jade had for so long tried to keep tamped down. Their fingers were still entwined, right over Jade’s heart, and she reluctantly let go of Tori’s hand, only to pull her closer by her hips, feeling Tori’s arms circle around her, palms pressed against her back. She let her lips press soft, slow kisses along Tori’s jaw, coaxing her to tip her head to the side, and she lifted a hand to push Tori’s hair away from her neck gently, listening to the way she sighed “ _Jade_ ,” as Jade kissed all along her throat. The words felt like a warm caress all over her skin. It had been far too long since she’d heard anything like it, and all she wanted was to hear Tori say it again.

Tori’s fingers were buried in Jade’s hair, and Jade reconnected their lips, letting her own hands smooth over the contours of Tori’s ass in that ridiculous sexy dress, making Tori sigh against her mouth. Jade’s fingers found the hem of the dress, and she let them trail over the enticing skin of Tori’s outer thighs, teasing under the fabric, feeling desire, no, _need_ , coalescing in her stomach, her kisses becoming harder with want.

An encouraging moan from Tori, and Jade’s palms slid further up, fingers teasing at the waist of Tori’s underpants, wanting everything so much, wanting Tori so badly, to be able to touch her with love instead of grief or goodbyes. To replace the memory of the ways they’d touched before with the chance to try again. She hesitated only slightly, uncertain if now was the time, if everything was being clouded by how _easy_ this was for them, to get lost in each other.

But then Tori’s hands were joining hers under her dress, tugging down her underwear hurriedly, letting them fall down her legs and kicking them off and letting them land somewhere in her kitchen, her mouth barely leaving Jade’s.

Jade swallowed a whimper, inhaled a shaky breath through her nose, and held Tori by her hips, turning her, and then lifting, coaxing her up onto the countertop in her kitchen.

Tori emitted a surprised little whimper, but allowed Jade to guide her, steadying herself on Jade’s shoulders as they both lifted. A momentary pause, as they both gazed at each other, Jade looking up at Tori, hands on her thighs. One of Tori’s hands cupped Jade’s jaw affectionately, and Jade leaned into it, turning her face just enough to kiss Tori’s palm, eyes never leaving hers, drinking in the love being reflected back to her from Tori’s gaze.

“I love you,” Jade whispered it this time, words coming to her mouth without thought.

A bright grin crossed Tori’s mouth, and Jade could swear her dark eyes swam with tears, but then she was leaning forward, lips seeking Jade’s, legs wrapping around her waist to pull her closer. Jade kissed her, bracing herself against the counter, right hand trailing blunt nails along Tori’s inner thigh, feeling Tori shift forward, inviting contact. Jade let her fingers meet wetness, heard Tori’s sharp inhale, and let her instincts and memories guide her as she let a finger slip inside of Tori, disconnecting their lips and pressing her face to Tori’s neck, breathing through the intensity of it all.

-

Tori had herself wrapped around Jade as she perched on the counter, reminding herself to breathe as she felt Jade inside of her. They were both still for a moment, save for their breaths, and for the light kisses Jade brushed against her neck. It was an almost overwhelming moment, nothing they hadn’t done before or even recently, but the impact was so potent that Tori felt herself flooded with so much ardorous intensity that it felt like her body couldn’t contain it all, that the connection between herself and Jade was its only outlet, and its source, an exchange of passion everywhere they touched.

And Jade touching her, right now, with a single finger, felt more powerful to Tori than it ever had before, and she was utterly receptive to it. “Jade,” she breathed again, searching for words and finding none, “ _Fuck_ ,” she whimpered instead.

Whether Jade took that as instruction or understood that Tori was simply overwhelmed was unclear, but regardless, it spurred her into action, and Tori felt Jade moving inside of her. They exhaled together, audibly, and Jade’s lips were back on her neck, kissing their way to her mouth, hand pausing to readjust, and Tori felt another finger join the first, her back arching in response, the back of her head resting against a kitchen cabinet. Jade kissed her, words of encouragement muffled on their lips, her other hand sliding up Tori’s side, under her dress. Tori shifted, letting the hem of her dress pull free from under her, in no position to even worry about her bare ass on the countertop and whether that was sanitary. _Who cared_? Jade was touching her, lighting fires of need all over her body, her skin was singing, her bones were craving, her blood was urging her closer to Jade.

Jade’s other arm had readjusted, hooking under Tori’s knee to open her up further, then sliding its way up under her dress, palm curving over her breast, and Tori could only hold on to Jade, kissing her fiercely and tenderly, as Jade’s fingers slipped inside of her, moving steadily. Tori felt her thighs quivering already, feeling the way Jade’s fingers stroked her, the impact of it just as much mental and emotional as it was physical. It was more than pleasure coursing through her, it was _love_ , and it had been so long since Tori had felt it, but she knew it right away, and its power made her breathless and hot and alive and desperate, clinging to Jade.

They were still kissing when the intensity of everything erupted, and Tori started shaking hard, given only a moment to recognize her impending orgasm before it washed over her, head falling back against the cabinet, back arching and thrusting her body toward Jade, who kissed her chest, murmuring things Tori couldn't quite hear but could certainly _feel_ , her hands never ceasing their movements, and Tori could only hold on to her, feeling enveloped in her, love the heat between them, radiating off of them like waves.

They were still clinging to each other as Tori came back to herself, leaning forward now, curled into Jade, whose arms were wrapped around her, holding her up. Tori shifted forward, and Jade kept a hold on her, keeping her steady as she came down from the counter and wrapped herself more fully into Jade, face in her neck, the scent of her perfume and her shampoo enrapturing Tori’s senses. She recovered in Jade’s arms, speechless for a long moment, swept away by the power of everything that had just transpired between them, the intensity of _still being loved_...everything felt like a dream.

And Jade kissed her head, murmuring things about beauty and love and other words Tori felt the impact of more than heard, felt filling her chest until she thought she might cry. But she didn’t want to cry, she wanted to feel, and she cut off the flow of Jade’s words with another kiss, gentle for only the first moment before Tori’s passion filled her, and before they both knew it, she had Jade pressed up against the wall, pressed fully against her body, and the tone of the sounds in Jade’s throat changed, pitched lower in want.

The memory of Jade’s touch still filled her, and she wanted to give that to Jade, to be able to touch her with that kind of reverence. Her fingers dipped beneath the hem of Jade’s tank top, feeling the hot skin beneath, feeling Jade’s breath catch at the contact. There were too many barriers between them already, and Tori pulled away, tugging at Jade’s shirt, pulling it over her head and dropping it at their feet.

Tori reconnected their bodies, hips leaning into Jade’s, hands on her belt, holding firm, but her torso tilted back, eyes drawn into the cleavage presented before her. She stared, awe swirling through her at the fact that she would get to touch them again, the sight of them stopping her as she let herself ogle shamelessly. She glanced up to see Jade, flushed but smirking triumphantly, and kissed her hard, feeling so fucking _lucky_ as her mouth trailed over her jaw and down her neck, making her way to the most perfect breasts she’d ever encountered, burying her face in them worshipfully.

But as much as Jade seemed to enjoy this, with the way her hand tightened in Tori’s hair, there was so much more Tori wanted to do, so much more she wanted to make her feel. So she pressed herself back against Jade, reconnecting their lips, feeling Jade’s desire reflected back at her with the way she chased her mouth. Tori got lost in kissing her, one hand reaching down to interlace their fingers, the other curved over her breast, and forgot what she wanted to do for a long moment, just enjoying kissing someone who had _always_ known how to kiss her back _exactly_ how she liked.

Tori let her hand slip down Jade’s stomach, stifling a whimper at how skin to skin contact with Jade felt electric, hand at her belt, distracted just enough by her kisses to fumble for a moment, but quickly, she had the belt undone, the shorts unzipped, her fingers tugging at the waistband of Jade’s panties.

Jade’s head tilted back and she moaned, “ _Fuck_ , Tori,” before she even started _touching_ her, and the power and anticipation that flooded her when she heard Jade moan her name was so potent, Tori had to take a moment to pause, so as not to get swept up in it. She took a slow breath, saw the way Jade was hanging there, the way her chest rose with her own excited breath, and Tori pressed delicate kisses at the base of her neck as her hand pushed into her shorts, fingers finding slick heat, hearing Jade’s stuttered whimper, feeling the way her knees went weak, Tori’s body pressed against hers to keep her standing.

-

Jade felt Tori readjust against her, letting go of her hand to brace herself against the wall next to Jade’s head. Jade wrapped her arm around Tori, holding on, hips lifting off from the wall to chase the touches of Tori’s fingers, which dipped just _barely_ inside of her, in a way that made Jade’s chest leap, before slipping away, swirling over her clit in a way that was sensual, but that would have felt teasing coming from Tori at any other time. But Tori was back to kissing her thoroughly, making Jade feel like she was barely touching the ground with what felt like every emotion, every oath, passing between their lips.

She felt Tori’s wrist pushing at the fabric of her clothing, trying to adjust the position of her hand, no doubt, and Jade let her free hand go to her shorts, tugging at them to pull them down. Tori paused, pulling away to help push Jade’s shorts off of her hips, her underpants falling away with them to fall to her Doc Martens. She stepped out carefully, trying not to get tangled up in her discarded shorts, cursing herself for still wearing _boots_ while getting fucked against the wall, but then Tori was back, the length of her body pressing against Jade’s, braced against the wall, fingers between Jade’s legs. Jade let her stance widen, an invitation, head tilting back as Tori’s lips found her neck again, brushing her hair away before settling her weight again.

And Jade heard herself cry out the moment Tori’s fingers pressed gradually inside of her, her teeth nipping Jade’s neck at the same time.

Jade tilted her head, needing to kiss Tori, and Tori met her mouth eagerly, fingers still slowly pushing inside. Jade felt her eyes roll back in her head, kissing Tori with a fervor that expressed how much she wanted this, _needed_ this, felt Tori inside of her as strong as love, her chest constricted with the impact of everything for the moment.

She needed to touch Tori, actually _touch_ her, to return some of this overwhelming fervor, because Jade didn’t feel like she could contain it alone. Her free hand groped for the hem of Tori’s skirt, already skewed and mussed from getting fucked on the countertop ( _Jade had done that_ ), hand grasping at Tori’s hip, circling her body, trying to put enough space between their bodies to touch her.

Tori lifted away, just enough that Jade thought she was inviting contact, and her fingers touched wetness. She heard Tori’s breath, felt the fingers inside her stutter in their steady rhythm, and then Tori’s arm that had braced her against the wall was moving, grabbing Jade’s wrist and pinning it next to her head, entwining their fingers, “You’re being _very_ distracting,” Tori murmured in her ear, “While I’m trying to _love_ you.”

The way she uttered _love_ , so coarse and firm, _felt_ like Tori was saying _fuck_ , and the way it reverberated through Jade _felt_ that intense, and more. She felt her knees shaking, and Tori’s fingers moved, deep inside of her, and Jade grasped Tori’s hair with her other hand, kissing her, _wanting_ to be kissing her when she came.

Which, if the way every part of her skin seemed to be tingling, every breath seemed to match Tori’s, every beat of her heart seemed to echo her name, Jade knew it would be soon. She felt her whole self coiling, utterly attuned to the attention of Tori’s mouth on Jade’s, the pressure of her hand pinned against the wall, the way Tori so easily and eagerly held her up against the wall, taking her time with her fingers slipping inside of her, unhurried strokes that brought Jade higher.

It made Jade feel _cared for_ , in an unfamiliar way, and she only had time for the impact of that to flow through her when she felt herself tighten hard around Tori’s fingers, heard herself moan into her mouth, and then she was crashing, hard, Tori kissing her all through her orgasm as if she somehow _knew_ that’s what she wanted, Jade’s body jerking, trembling, Tori the only thing she felt, the only thing she knew, the only thing keeping her upright.

Tori must’ve stopped kissing her at some point, because Jade was in her arms, held tightly, face against her shoulder, body still shaking slightly. She pressed herself into Tori, lifting her face up to kiss her, beginning to walk her away from the wall, toward the living room. She felt so stupid in her boots, that before they even reached the couch, Jade pulled away, sitting down right on the carpet to unlace them just enough to pull them off.

Tori collapsed next to her on the floor, already laughing at her. Jade shot her a mock glare, “What?” she asked, kicking off her second boot, leaving her in only a bra and socks on the floor of Tori’s living room.

Tori didn’t answer, merely shook her head, and then climbed on top of Jade, gently bearing her down onto the carpet, kissing her. The weight of her on top of Jade was familiar in a way that Jade grew already eager, anticipating the way their legs entangled, Tori settling into place, and Jade lifted her knee, pressing her bare thigh just between Tori’s legs, grinning at the sensation of wetness she found there.

They kissed unhurriedly, grinding together lazily, clearly not working toward anything in particular beyond enjoying the moment, enjoying each other. The carpet was slightly itchy on Jade’s back, but not enough for her to care, and the angle of Tori’s thigh between her legs didn’t provide her much contact, but she didn’t want anything about it to change. She just wanted to kiss Tori, for as long as Tori would let her.

-

Tori missed this. She’d _missed_ the kind of lazy kisses Jade was so good at giving her that her chest ached as she settled on top of her, enjoying the contact between their lower bodies but focusing on the intimacy of their kisses. The way Jade’s tongue met hers, the way their heads tilted in reaction to each other so automatically, the way kissing Jade felt like something she’d been missing for so much of her life now, and there was no way to fill the years that had stretched between them, but they were certainly going to try.

She felt Jade’s hands on her back, pulling at her dress, and Tori lifted her torso enough to allow the dress to be pulled up almost to her shoulders, but the idea of ceasing their kisses for her dress to come off felt impossible. Apparently, Jade agreed, because she left the dress there, her hands roaming over all of Tori’s exposed skin, slipping between their bodies to her breasts, making Tori groan slightly into their kisses, hips jerking against Jade’s thigh in reaction.

She felt all of Jade’s skin pressed against her, save the bra she still wore, but the prospect of reaching beneath her to unhook her bra seemed like too much, so Tori just let their skin touch, the heat of them building, their kisses unending.

Eventually, however, Jade seemed to need to catch her breath and she tipped her head back. Tori took the invitation to kiss her way down her body, craving more, craving all of Jade, tongue swiping over her collarbones, lips tracing the swell of each breast, hand lifting to caress them through Jade’s bra. She had just kissed her way past Jade’s bra, shifting backwards, placing reverent kisses over her stomach that made Jade jump slightly, when abruptly, the lights came back on.

Tori lifted her head, blinking in the sudden brightness, the spell of the cinematic, dim atmosphere broken, seeing Jade propped up on her elbows, doing the same. They could keep going. She had intended to go down on Jade, wanting to _hear_ the pleasure from her lips, and Jade was biting her lip slightly, inviting, but thoughtful. “Wait,” she said, voice low and raspy from desire, “Just to be clear. We’re...back on, right? Like, together?”

Tori’s eyebrow lifted. After all of that? “I sure fucking hope so.”

“Good,” Jade sagged, relieved, “Then, can we eat? I’m _so_ hungry.”

It hadn’t been her focus for the last...however long they’d been fucking and kissing, but Tori absolutely was, too. “God, yes. Me, too.” She got up, carefully untangling herself from Jade, and offered her a hand to get to her feet. Tori smoothed her dress back into place as Jade looked around on the floor, then walked into the kitchen, pulling on her shorts ( _just_ her shorts, Tori thought). They washed their hands at the kitchen sink, hips bumping playfully, before Tori carried the taco tray to the table and they sat _right_ next to each other, Jade moving her own place setting to be right next to Tori, and they served themselves tacos, both of them too impatient to worry about reheating anything.

Tori sipped the margarita that had been sitting and waiting for her. “So...how do we want to break the news to Trina?” she asked with a laugh.

Jade chuckled, reaching for her own glass. “I honestly would love nothing more than to text her all about it.” She took a sip of her drink, then looked around for her phone.

But before she could locate it, Tori leaned over and pressed a kiss on Jade’s bare shoulder. “Let’s wait until tomorrow to antagonize her. And to tell anyone else. Just because...you know, they--”

“--won’t be able to stay out of our business?” Jade finished. “Good point.”

Tori’s phone was nearby, so she grabbed it and opened PearTunes, choosing the 80s Hits radio station for something to play while they ate. Their silence together was comfortable, each seeking out to touch the other every couple of minutes, a hand resting on a thigh, a nudge of an elbow against the other, Tori scooting her chair as close as she possibly could to Jade's. They lazily ate their dinner, the single margarita she'd consumed by the end of it making Tori feel light and loose, on top of the high of the orgasm she'd been given in the kitchen.

"I'm really happy, right now," she mused, elbow propped on the table as she took in the sight of Jade, so tangibly close and so suddenly _hers_.

Jade smirked, but her eyes smiled. "Kind of obvious by that goofy look on your face."

"Yeah, well. You're looking a little goofy yourself."

-

However ridiculous Jade looked, she felt on top of the world (and in love and warm all over and giddy). And not in a way where she was waiting to be knocked down, which was usually her default setting when it came to high points in her life. But being back with Tori gave her a sensation of being elevated but grounded, at the same time. She felt electric, like she was seventeen again, like she wanted to pull Tori into the janitor's closet on the last day of school, like she didn't give a shit about the consequences, because none of them were severe enough to really matter.

"Important question," Jade said. Tori's eyebrows raised, waiting for whatever she was supposed to answer. "Now that we're...together. Do I get to use the fancy shower?" This actually brought up more than a few logistical items of business they'd need to sort out (such as: were they just planning to live together now?) but that could happen tomorrow.

Tori considered the question, then replied, "I guess it's only fair. But I'm going in there with you."

"I don't know if there's enough room."

"You haven't even been in it, yet."

"I've _seen_ it."

"Well, finish that damn taco and I'll let you get in it."

"I already did get in,” Jade replied, suggestively. “ _Oh_ , you meant the shower."

“You know, you make fun of me for my bad jokes, but you’re worse.”

“I think you mean better.”

It was clear dinner was over by then and, hands linked together, Tori led Jade down the hall (pausing only a couple times to steal a kiss here and there), through the bedroom, into the bathroom, where they each shed the minimal clothing they'd bothered to wear through the meal. The shower was...amazing. Like, if she hadn't just had incredibly romantic sex with the woman she'd loved for half her life, it would have easily been the most exciting experience of the week. There were two shower heads, so there was no fighting for water between the two of them (though it did make Jade wonder who Tori had planned to use this with, if anyone), and it was so spacious that it almost felt like she had too much room (as if her body needed to feel closed in to shower correctly).

As she toweled off, she realized she'd need to return to the guest house for clean clothes, so she commandeered Tori's bright pink ( _of course_ ) robe that hung on a hook near the door.

"And what am I supposed to do?" asked Tori.

"I don't know, be naked in your own house for five seconds while you walk to your massive closet?" Jade suggested. "I have to actually go outside if I want clean clothes."

"Maybe," Tori stepped up to her and tugged the robe open, slipping her hands around Jade's bare waist, "you should just forget the clothes."

Jade didn't need clothes. Except, "Aren't we supposed to watch the new _Weed Wars_ tonight? Because, if we are and we're supposed to pay attention, we can't be naked."

"You make a compelling and rational point." Tori pressed a series of kisses along Jade's jaw until she met her lips, offering a lingering connection before breaking away. "I guess you need to get dressed."

It took Jade several moments to put herself in motion as her attention was caught up in Tori as she casually strode over to her monstrous closet and stood in the doorway, considering what to wear. Eventually, though, Jade found the will to move through the house and out the back door into her own house. But as she stood in her living room, she paused and listened for the wind.

_Nothing._

It was quiet.

Jade's eyes focused on the framed _Homicidal_ lobby card that now had Grandma Jean's memorial card tucked in the corner. She recalled what Tori had mentioned that morning about her grandmother's opinion of the Santa Anas, how they were “crazy-making” and how she used to constantly refer to Tori and Jade as being “crazy about each other.”

There wasn’t any way she could have...there was no such thing as…

You know what?

Jade wasn’t going to question it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Out of the Woods_ by Taylor Swift
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> In the morning, when Jade woke and the world slowly came into focus through the haze of sleep, she was in an unfamiliar space. Yet there was something very recognizable about the arm wrapped around her and the body pressed against her from behind.
> 
> Tori.
> 
> She was in Tori’s bed. 
> 
> And while waking up together certainly wasn’t all that foreign of a concept over the past month, Jade’s realization that she didn’t need to feign sleep as an excuse to linger filled her with a sense of happiness that allowed a smile to spread on her lips, despite the fact that coffee hadn't happened, yet. She rolled over, the movement initiating a shift in Tori where she snuggled closer, resting her head on Jade's chest. It was still early, Jade could tell by the quality of light in the room. Probably around seven. Maybe just before.
> 
> It was easy to drift back off with Tori so comfortably cuddled up to her and the next time she opened her eyes, it was to Tori sitting up and fiddling with her phone. Eventually, she put in her earbuds as she remained in the upright position, prompting Jade to mumble, "What are you doing?"
> 
> "Meditating," Tori replied, holding her position.
> 
> Jade responded with a groan, then scooted her body closer to Tori, resting her head on her lap, which probably wasn't part of Tori's preferred meditation practice, but she seemed to adapt easily, resting the hand that had been settled on her own knee now on Jade's shoulder.
> 
> "You should put a coffee maker in here," Jade suggested, sleepily.
> 
> "There's one twenty feet down the hall."
> 
> "That's twenty feet too far."
> 
> "You're making it very difficult to meditate."
> 
> "Try harder.”


	12. Nine: I wrote a letter to the lord, asked for a girl, I could not ignore

While _Weed Wars_ played, the two of them snuggled together on the couch, but to keep from getting too distracted, Tori ended up resting her head on Jade’s lap, Jade idly playing with her hair as they watched. It was a fun show, and Holly and Bambi were now neck and neck in terms of wins. And Holly was not the most graceful loser, even on television, which made Tori cringe but Jade laugh.

But when it was over, Tori reached for the remote to turn off whatever was going to autoplay next, and turned to look up at Jade with a lazy smile.

“We should send your mom a message of support after that brutal upset,” Jade commented, fingers still threading through Tori’s hair. Though it had been filmed a long time ago, Tori was reasonably certain her mom had watched tonight, too.

Tori laughed, “Yeah, we should.” But neither of them moved to get their phones, instead caught up in watching each other. Tori reached for Jade’s free hand and held it to her chest, then kissed Jade’s knuckles. A part of Tori still couldn’t believe this was happening. The way they fit together like they always had, when Tori had been expecting them to need distance to preserve whatever connection remained between them. There was still a lot to figure out, but for now, they were basking in each other.

But then, Tori thought of something. “Your date,” she blurted.

Jade frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“Last night. You said it went well.”

Jade nodded, “It did,” she said simply.

Tori felt inexplicably guilty about the fact that, maybe, Jade would have to stop seeing someone whose company she’d clearly enjoyed. “So, then...well--”

“She’s really cool, but...she’s not you,” Jade said succinctly. Tori felt the smile bloom across her face, giddiness like laughter filling her chest. “Don’t worry about it,” Jade finished.

“Okay, I won’t,” Tori grinned.

But Jade clearly had something on her mind as well, because Tori could see her brow furrowing, “So...what does, like, your job...mean for us?” she asked.

Tori felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Sure, Jade had been accepting of her work when they were just trying to be friends, but _now_? Maybe things had changed, and Tori would be back where she always seemed to end up, dating someone who didn’t like her line of work. “It...means that’s how I make money?” Tori said, tone flat with her effort to not sound upset.

But Jade shook her head, “Not _that_ part of it. Just...I guess I mean more the kink element. What am I going to have to do, to be with you?”

_Oh_. That was a very different question, and one that made Tori have to stifle laughter. “You don’t have to _do anything_ you don’t want to in order to be with me,” Tori replied.

Jade looked skeptical, “I just...I don’t even know what, if anything, I might like, and you do this stuff professionally, so…”

Tori sat up and gently turned Jade’s face to hers, kissing her softly. Jade melted into her, arms slipping around her, pulling Tori onto her lap. They got lost in kissing again for a while, Tori feeling Jade’s hands on her hips, steadying and sensual. They didn’t have to stop, they could keep going until Tori picked up where she left off earlier, gearing up to go down on Jade.

Except Tori had more she wanted to say. So she pulled back reluctantly, kissing Jade’s nose, watching the way deep blue eyes gazed up at her in adoration.

“Kink is an important part of sex and intimacy for me, but it’s not the _only_ part. We just had incredible, very vanilla sex, if you didn’t know.” Jade smirked at this, still watching Tori. “And the rest? We can figure out later. If there are things you’re into, we can try them together. I _want_ to share this part of my life with you, but only what you’re comfortable with.”

Jade nodded, “Okay. That makes sense.”

“A very wise person once told me that everything is different with a new person,” Tori smirked.

“Oh, did they?” Jade smirked, “They sound pretty amazing, maybe you should date them.” In answer, Tori reached down to Jade’s sides, applying just enough light pressure to tickle. Jade squirmed so hard she nearly bucked Tori off of her lap, “ _Tori_! Don’t you--”

But then Jade was retaliating, grabbing and tickling and wrestling Tori onto the couch to climb on top of her, while Tori writhed and laughed and screamed, until she finally yelled, “Okay! Mercy! Please!”

Jade stopped tickling her, grinning down at her wickedly before kissing her again. Tori wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, feeling the weight of her, warm and solid, against Tori’s body. They kissed lazily, for a long time. _God_ , she’d missed this. She slid her hands down Jade’s body, one hand tucking up under the hem of her shirt to settle on the warm skin of Jade’s lower back, the other sliding over the curve of her ass in her sleeping shorts. She heard a familiar sound in Jade’s throat, one she hadn’t heard in a _very_ long time but would never forget, an indicator that Jade liked what was happening, that Jade didn’t want to stop what they were doing.

Tori didn’t, either. She wasn’t tired yet, and they’d interrupted themselves earlier to eat. All she wanted was to make Jade come a few more times before bed.

But evidently, Jade had other plans, because her hand was moving over Tori’s body, sliding down her side and tugging at the waistband of her sleeping shorts. Tori shifted, trying to give Jade access to whatever she was trying to do, but Jade broke their kisses and knelt back, both hands on Tori’s shorts now. “Can I take these off?” she breathed.

_Well_. When a beautiful woman with prominent cleavage in a tank top asked her something like _that_...Tori was a little weak. “Yeah,” she nodded eagerly, lifting her legs to help Jade remove her shorts and panties together. Jade’s hands ran their way back up Tori’s legs, letting them settle on either side of her body, one foot on the floor as Jade stared at her, lip between her teeth.

Jade leaned over to kiss her again, hand sliding up Tori’s shirt to gently grasp her breast. Tori arched into her touch, kissing Jade back fervently, hips lifting eagerly, seeing contact. She let her own hands smooth down Jade’s back, grabbing her shorts and beginning to try to tug them down. Jade chuckled against her lips, then lifted her head, “What are you trying to do?”

“What does it _look_ like?” Tori smirked.

“Trying to distract me while I’m _very_ busy here,” Jade’s eyes flashed, a smoldering warmth.

Tori bit her lip. If she _really_ wanted to, she was sure she could distract Jade and do whatever she wanted, but she was enjoying letting Jade take the lead, for now. It validated how much Jade wanted her. So instead, she just leaned up and kissed Jade, then whispered near her ear, “I just want to get you out of those shorts. Please.”

An inhale from Jade, and then she was lifting herself off of Tori and quickly shedding her shorts, settling back onto her. Tori hadn’t moved, had merely waited, feeling satisfied by Jade’s quick compliance. And this time, with Jade kissing her, hand in her tank top again, when Tori’s hips lifted, they met the bare skin of Jade’s upper thigh, and she let out a shaky sigh at the contact. She felt Jade grinning against her mouth, thigh pressing more firmly between her legs.

And in a moment, they were grinding together on the couch, and easily found the position and rhythm that worked for them. It had been a long time since anyone had done this with Tori, particularly on top of her like Jade was, and the muscle memory they’d built so long ago seemed to drive both of them, as Jade focused her energy on Tori, and it was clear from the motion that she wasn’t worried about herself.

It made Tori feel vulnerable but sexy to be the recipient of so much sexual attention. So much of her life now was about providing that to other people, and to experience it again with Jade felt utterly magical.

She was just about to consider flipping them, so that she could take control of the way they were moving together, when she realized she didn’t need to, because it was working. She bucked harder at Jade’s thigh, chasing the friction she needed, hearing the intake of breath through Jade’s nose as she kept kissing her, and knowing that Jade knew she was close without Tori even having to _say_ anything, and then she was arching up into Jade, head falling back as she moaned, Jade kissing her neck, holding her, continuing to rock her hips into her until Tori finally went still, save for trembling in Jade’s arms.

Tori let out a long breath, tilting her head back down to kiss Jade’s forehead and all over her face until Jade’s lips met hers again. Jade held her, securely and intimately, her face glowing with victory. Tori pressed her forehead to Jade’s, sighing, “I love you, you idiot.”

Jade snorted, “Is that any way to speak to someone who just gave you an orgasm?”

“Yes,” Tori said, coming back to herself, “Sit up,” she ordered, but gently.

Jade did, sitting back on her heels, as Tori untangled their legs. Jade watched curiously as Tori resituated herself, but then, with a hand on Jade’s chest, she guided her to sit back on the couch, unfolding her legs, and Tori straddled her again, like she had earlier before the tickle fight that had gotten her pinned on her back in the first place. She took in the way Jade looked up at her, almost reverent, felt Jade’s hands settle on her hips, skin touching skin this time. Tori kissed her, letting her hands move from her shoulders to her breasts, running her open palms over them through the thin fabric of Jade’s tank top. Why were they even still wearing shirts? Tori really didn’t know, but before she could do anything about it, she felt Jade’s hand move, fingers stroking over Tori’s clit.

Tori let out a stuttering groan. It was _good_ , but too intense after her recent orgasm. She reached down to stop Jade’s wrist, taking in the glint of mischief in her eyes. “Now who’s being distracting?” she murmured.

“Hey, you’re the one being tempting.”

Tori narrowed her eyes, “Put your hands by your sides and don’t move them,” she ordered.

“Or what?” Jade challenged.

In answer, Tori stood up and started to walk away. Jade caught her wrist and tugged her back, “Okay, okay,” she said, “I won’t distract you.”

“Good,” Tori purred, settling back on Jade’s lap. Jade’s hands gripped her waist again, and Tori eyed her. “I was serious about your hands by your sides.”

Jade groaned, “Oh, come on.”

Tori began to realize she was coming on a little strong. It was natural for her to bring top energy to an encounter, especially with Jade, since they knew each other so well, but they hadn’t even _talked_ about anything like this, and she certainly didn’t want anything even close to their first power-play adjacent experience to go wrong. She kissed Jade’s forehead, “We don’t have to do it this way if you don’t want to,” she murmured, giving Jade an out.

But Jade took a deep breath, and then lowered her hands from Tori’s hips. “What does ‘doing it _this way_ ’ actually mean?”

Tori scrutinized her for a moment. “Really, it’s just because I’m too sensitive to be touched right now, but we can make it a little more fun than you just not being allowed to touch me.” Jade seemed receptive, so Tori continued, “You keep your hands by your sides unless I say you can move them, and if you touch me, I stop whatever I’m doing to you. And I’m not going to do anything to you that we haven’t done before. I’m not going to, like, spank you in the middle of sex. We’d have to talk about that first.”

Jade swallowed, eyes glittering with intensity, “Okay,” she said slowly, seeming to think about it. “I can try that.”

Tori thought she sounded pretty sincere, but she also sounded cautious. It probably wasn’t the best time to talk about something like this, even if it was low-stakes and not really anything they hadn’t done before, when they were younger, without really discussing it. “If it gets weird, or you just want to stop for any reason, just say,” Tori’s eyes darted around the room, landing on the bottle of margarita mix on the kitchen counter, “margaritas,” she decided, “And we’ll stop. And I promise I won’t get upset,” she added.

Jade nodded, “Okay,” she agreed. She deliberately flattened her palms on the couch next to her.

Tori smirked, “Very good,” she murmured, kissing Jade again, hands moving to the hem of her shirt. She felt Jade’s arms twitch next to her thighs, maybe suppressing an instinct to move them. Tori wanted to keep her where she was, to keep things simple for now, so she didn’t even have her move her arms so she could remove the shirt, just lifted it past her breasts so she could kiss her way down to them.

She took her time, kissing all over Jade’s torso, hands on Jade’s thighs, slowly easing her way off of the couch until she was kneeling in front of her, sliding her hands up Jade’s legs to her hips to pull her closer to the edge of the couch. Jade complied, letting her legs fall open invitingly.

-

It really _wasn’t_ anything they hadn’t done before, Jade reflected. They’d played with this sort of dynamic a lot when they were younger, although Jade had more often been the one demanding that Tori stay still. But the context had changed so drastically, with the knowledge that an _actual dominatrix_ was the person ordering her to stay still on the couch while she knelt in front of her, hands smoothing over Jade’s inner thighs, looking up at her with a triumphant expression.

Yeah, even though nothing was exactly new, it _felt_ new. Maybe because Tori was just so good at it now, with her sort of natural authority that made it feel less like young people playing around and more like...well, there could be actual _consequences_ if Jade disobeyed. Which she _wanted_ to do. She sort of wanted to know what would happen, if Tori would actually stop what she so clearly wanted to do, just to prove a point to Jade.

But she also really wanted to feel Tori’s mouth on her, so she obeyed, deliberately pressing her hands against the couch as Tori pressed kisses to each inner thigh, nipping at one to make Jade whimper and her legs spread wider. Tori hooked Jade’s knees over her shoulders, wrapping her arms around her thighs, and then Jade felt the warmth of her mouth, the pressure and movement of her tongue.

Automatically, Jade reached for Tori’s head, an encouraging gesture, but as soon as she made contact, Tori stopped, lifting her mouth away and giving Jade a stern look, though her eyes gazing at Jade from above her glasses were alight with joy. Jade groaned loudly, letting her hand fall away, cursing lightly under her breath.

“Better,” Tori murmured, mouth resuming its work. This time, Jade’s head fell back and she let out a guttural groan, because everything _already_ felt more intense after the brief interruption. She pressed her palms into the couch so firmly she was actually lifting herself up a little, and with Tori’s arms around her thighs, she felt like she was barely touching the couch at all.

She could _feel_ Tori’s intense focus on her, the way her tongue slipped inside of her, a tease, before continuing to swirl around her clit, the way her fingers gripped Jade’s thighs, holding her in place. Jade felt like she couldn’t do anything but accept the pleasure Tori was offering, a position she welcomed as that pleasure escalated, her orgasm building. She whispered Tori’s name when she started getting close, hearing and feeling Tori moan against her in response.

But as she started coming, she grabbed Tori’s hair, without thinking, an automatic need for connection, and then she was flooded with the intensity of her orgasm, feeling the way Tori’s mouth chased her, tongue never ceasing its movements, until Jade slumped back onto the couch, breathless, fingers still tangled in Tori’s hair.

Tori ran the back of her hand over her chin, grinning widely as she slipped out from under Jade’s legs and hand and moved to join her on the couch, pressing kisses against her neck and chin until Jade kissed back. But it wasn’t until then that Jade even realized, “I touched you, toward the end.”

Tori chuckled, “I know. I took it easy on you. I didn’t feel like stopping.”

“Oh,” Jade breathed, feeling herself flushing with the implications of, Tori _had_ noticed what she had done, and she _could_ have decided to stop, and _what would that have been like_?

Tori smirked, “There are better ways to keep someone still, but we’ll have to talk about that.”

Jade nodded, still a little dazed, “Yeah, what comes next, anyway? You spanking me when I do something wrong?”

Tori laughed, “That’s certainly something we can talk about, if it interests you.”

Jade shrugged, “I don’t know about _that_ , I’m just wondering what kinds of things you normally _do_?”

“It depends on the partner,” Tori said simply.

Jade groaned, because she was really hoping for some actual information. “Well, was what we just did considered kinky?”

Tori shrugged this time, “A little. Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking _you_ ,” Jade said, but she had her answer, so instead the two of them snuggled on Tori’s sofa for a moment, in only their tank tops, basking in the good fortune of finding their way back to each other.

But soon, Tori was yawning. Jade understood. It had been an intense day, with the wind and the heat, the margaritas, the emotional upheaval, and on top of that, all the sex. “Should we get ready for bed?” Tori asked, though she sounded a little reluctant.

Something occurred to Jade in the moment, “Am I...sleeping here?”

Tori shot her an amused glance, “If you’d rather sleep in your bed, I won’t be offended. But I was kinda anticipating sleeping with you, yeah.”

“Good,” Jade replied, sitting up and locating her shorts, “Me, too. I’m just going to go get my toothbrush.”

She hurried across the patio to her house. The evening air was already cooler, now that the winds had died down, and it felt more like October again. She _could_ just get ready for bed in her own house...but she wanted to get back to Tori, as ridiculous as that was. Still, Jade washed her face quickly--she didn’t want to haul all her toiletries to Tori’s bathroom yet--grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste, and hurried back.

Tori was in the kitchen, putting away their leftover food, still not wearing anything but her tank top. Jade headed over to help (and get a better look), but Tori just waved her away, apparently already finished with the task, and after Tori rinsed the taco platter and stuck it in the dishwasher, the two of them headed to her bathroom.

Tori stepped up to the sink that was nearest to the door, the one that she clearly typically used because her toiletries were on the counter all around it. Jade approached the empty sink further down the countertop. Tori watched her as she rinsed her toothbrush. “You know,” she said, sounding faux casual, “No one’s ever used that sink before.”

It reminded Jade of the second showerhead. Tori had designed this bathroom to share with someone someday, and that someone was going to be her. “Good. Because it’s _mine_ ,” she said decisively, applying some toothpaste to her brush and beginning to brush her teeth.

Tori watched her fondly for a moment, something Jade caught in the mirror, but then she turned her attention to her own reflection and started performing nightly hygiene.

Since Jade had already washed her face in the other bathroom (and forgot her floss), she finished before Tori and headed into the bedroom. The body pillow lay all along Jade’s side of the bed, and she smirked as she looked at it, shaking her head. Tori was _so weird_. She pushed it over so that it was on Tori’s (messy) side of the bed and, without waiting for invitation or instruction, slid into what had always been “her” side of the bed, the side with the empty bedside table save for the lamp. She poked around on the apps on her phone, wondering why everything looked the same when her life was _so different_ , so suddenly.

Tori came out of the bathroom before long and paused, taking in the sight of Jade already comfortable in her bed, then smiled, circling around to her side of the bed and eyeing the body pillow. “Oh,” she smirked, “Angling for a threesome?” she teased Jade.

“Oh, my god,” Jade murmured, blushing at the implication, “How would that--you know what--”

But she stopped talking as Tori just laughed and took the pillow, placing it under her side of the bed, the way she’d stored the one she’d owned in high school. Tori slipped into her side of the bed. The bed was huge, as large as the hotel bed they’d shared at the reunion, but it didn’t feel that way when Tori cuddled up to her side.

“What do you want?” Jade teased, still looking at her phone.

“Just loving on you,” Tori murmured, nuzzling Jade’s neck.

Jade leaned over to press her own face against Tori’s hair, still holding her phone and discreetly framing a shot, snapping a picture of the two of them snuggled up in bed together.

But Tori wasn’t completely oblivious. “Did you just take a picture?”

“Maybe,” Jade replied.

“What, are you posting it on your Spectrogram?”

“I might,” Jade replied easily. “Tomorrow, maybe.” Now that Tori mentioned it, it wasn’t a bad idea. It could take the place of several individual conversations, telling people in their lives that they were back together. Jade didn’t want to hear all the _I told you so_ s. “ _If_ I were to post this, which account of yours would I even tag?” she wondered.

“The Pleasure Professor,” Tori replied immediately, as if it should be obvious.

“Really? Okay,” Jade replied, setting her phone on the bedside table and turning toward Tori in the bed.

“That’s really the persona that’s closest to me, I think,” Tori explained.

“You both wear the nerdy glasses,” Jade agreed, smirking.

Tori grinned, “Also, she’s just the most public one. So the most appropriate.”

“You’re _all about_ appropriate,” Jade teased, thinking specifically of Tori’s outburst at the funeral. But she reached for Tori’s hand, holding it and drawing it to her chest, watching the way it prompted Tori to smile softly, eyes meeting Jade’s as they just gazed at each other for a moment.

“I’m just,” Tori sighed, trailing off, seeming to get lost in Jade’s eyes again before finally speaking again, “I’m just really happy right now,” she finished quietly.

“Me, too,” Jade told her. They lay facing each other, relaxing, letting exhaustion begin to wind them down for sleep.

“I want to cuddle, but I don’t want to stop looking at you,” Tori yawned eventually.

Jade chuckled, “You can’t look at me with your eyes closed.”

“You know what I mean,” Tori grinned.

“Come here,” Jade murmured, shifting closer in the bed. Tori leaned over and kissed her, and then, with a slight sigh, turned over, letting Jade settle behind her, wrapping her arm around her, spooning her tightly and securely.

It was exactly like the ways they’d cuddled in bed recently, but one thousand times more meaningful. Jade pressed a kiss against Tori’s hair, basking in the comfort and affection they shared as they fell asleep together.

In the morning, when Jade woke and the world slowly came into focus through the haze of sleep, she was in an unfamiliar space. Yet there was something very recognizable about the arm wrapped around her and the body pressed against her from behind.

_Tori_.

She was in Tori’s bed.

And while waking up together certainly wasn’t all that foreign of a concept over the past month, Jade’s realization that she didn’t need to feign sleep as an excuse to linger filled her with a sense of happiness that allowed a smile to spread on her lips, despite the fact that coffee hadn't happened, yet. She rolled over, the movement initiating a shift in Tori where she snuggled closer, resting her head on Jade's chest. It was still early, Jade could tell by the quality of light in the room. Probably around seven. Maybe just before.

It was easy to drift back off with Tori so comfortably cuddled up to her and the next time she opened her eyes, it was to Tori sitting up and fiddling with her phone. Eventually, she put in her earbuds as she remained in the upright position, prompting Jade to mumble, "What are you doing?"

"Meditating," Tori replied, holding her position.

Jade responded with a groan, then scooted her body closer to Tori, resting her head on her lap, which probably wasn't part of Tori's preferred meditation practice, but she seemed to adapt easily, resting the hand that had been settled on her own knee now on Jade's shoulder.

"You should put a coffee maker in here," Jade suggested, sleepily.

"There's one twenty feet down the hall."

"That's twenty feet too far."

"You're making it very difficult to meditate."

"Try harder."

There was a squeeze on Jade's shoulder that was probably supposed to be a pinch, but Tori's energy seemed to primarily be poured into the meditation. Again, Jade found herself dozing off, apparently sleeping through the remainder of Tori's morning meditation session, because when she finally woke (like really, actually woke up), the bed was empty and she could hear water running in the bathroom.

Jade was hit with the realization that this could be her new normal. She could wake up in bed with Tori, bitch about coffee, start their day together.

Just as she was considering how long she could get away with lazing in Tori’s bed, inhaling the scent of her shampoo on the pillows and basking in the reality that she had slept here, because they were back together, still in love...Tori came out of the bathroom, catching sight of Jade and smiling.

“Hey, you’re awake.”

“Yeah,” Jade grunted. She reluctantly got out of bed. “I guess I’d better head over to my place and get ready to start my day.”

Tori nodded, “I’ll start some coffee.” She wrapped her arms around Jade in a hug, pressing a brief kiss to Jade’s lips, but she didn’t linger, certainly knowing full well what Jade in the morning before coffee was like. Even under these conditions, though, Jade was in a great mood. She paused to straighten the sheets and covers on her side of Tori’s bed, eyeing the disarray on Tori’s side in distaste, and then walked her way out to her house with more enthusiasm than normal, hurrying through her morning routine. She’d left her toothbrush in Tori’s bathroom, though, she realized. Luckily, she still had that spare toothbrush from the first night she’d stayed in the guest house. But she wondered how she should start to consider her living situation. Was she going to move in with Tori? She certainly liked having her own space, and she knew Tori did, too, but...she also definitely liked being around Tori. Eating meals with Tori. Showering with Tori. Sleeping with Tori.

It was certainly something they should consider talking about very soon.

Jade had put on water to boil for her French press, but when she came back out to her kitchen, she could see that Tori was already seated at the picnic table with her Chemex. Damn, she worked fast. Instead of brewing her own coffee, she just grabbed a mug and headed outside to meet her girlfriend.

Instead of sitting on “her” side of the picnic table, though, Jade circled around and sat right next to Tori. Tori smiled, wrapping an arm around her in a welcoming squeeze and pressing a kiss to her temple, then put down her book to pour Jade a cup of coffee. Hamster approached her, tail held high in greeting, and Jade offered her knuckles for him to sniff. He rubbed his face against them briefly before striding over to flop on the grass.

They sat quietly at the table, sitting close together. Jade drank her coffee, waiting to feel more human again, while Tori sipped hers and read. It was like any other morning, really, except for where and how they were sitting, the way their hands would occasionally find each other--Tori fingers trailing over Jade’s jean-clad thigh, Jade’s fingers tracing the compass tattoo on Tori’s forearm, Tori’s hand settling on Jade’s lower back, Jade’s hand reaching for Tori’s to intertwine their fingers.

When Jade was finishing her second cup of coffee, she voiced what she had begun considering. “We should probably tell our parents.”

Tori lowered her book, slipping a piece of paper inside as a bookmark. “Yeah, we probably should. You didn’t post that Spectrogram picture yet, did you?”

Jade shook her head, “No, I figure we should tell them first. Then I’ll post it.”

Tori nodded, “What did you have in mind?”

“Figure we tell them we have news and ask if we can all meet for dinner or something?”

Tori continued nodding at Jade’s words. “Okay. I’ll text my parents and your mom.” She was already typing away.

“What are you saying?”

“‘Jade and I have some important news. Wondering if you’re free this evening so we can fill you in,’” Tori read.

“Oh jeez,” Jade muttered.

“You have a better suggestion?” Tori asked.

“No,” Jade admitted, “I mean, might as well just get it over with.” Tori glanced sidelong at her, looking amused but also a little concerned. “They talk about us, anyway,” Jade said heavily, “So I’m just bracing for the _I knew it_!” she mimicked her own mother, quite well, if she were honest.

“What do you mean, they talk about us?” Tori frowned.

“My mom said that the weekend of the funeral, she and your parents were totally noticing how...how close we were,” she finished awkwardly, thinking back on everything that had transpired between them. Would this be weird to talk about, now that they were back together?

Tori looked away, eyes settling on the center of the picnic table. “Yeah, we were,” she said quietly. She reached for Jade’s hand, and found it. “I was really glad to have you that weekend.”

Jade squeezed back, “Me, too,” she murmured.

They were quiet for a moment. It was still hard to talk about, apparently. With the knowledge now of how they felt--how they’d _both_ been feeling, for a long time--it was a little embarrassing to look back on that weekend, thinking they were fooling anyone, even themselves. Finally, Tori spoke again. “What’s your schedule like today?”

Jade shrugged, “I have to do some preparations for some future work in the morning.” As she said it, her heart sank, because that future work was the directing job in New York. They needed to talk about that. But how? They’d just gotten back together and Jade was planning to take work on the other side of the country for three weeks, just two weeks from now? She pressed on, because she didn’t think either of them had the time to get into it right now. “And then I have some photography work later this afternoon.”

“Well, I’m free for a couple hours after one,” Tori said, “If you...you know. If you had time and you wanted to come by…”

“To visit you at work?” Jade asked. Tori nodded. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

Tori rested her chin on Jade’s shoulder. “What do you usually do for breakfast?”

“Uh, raid whatever’s in my fridge. Yogurt. Toast. Fruit.” Actually, this conversation was reminding her she needed to make a trip to the store. “Today might be a cereal day, actually.”

“I have all of that stuff in my fridge, if you want to come over.”

“What, all the way over to _your place_?” Jade hummed, considering it as if it were a lengthy distance to travel.

“I guess it’s technically our place. On paper.”

“Yeah...which...what do we want to do--”

Tori interrupted by nuzzling the spot under Jade’s ear. “We don’t have to figure it out this morning,” she said, quietly.

Jade’s eyes fluttered shut as she enjoyed the affectionate contact, then turned her head to catch Tori’s lips with her own in a soft kiss. There was no need to rush. They could take their time. “Fine. Take me to the food.”

“You sound like Sam,” Tori replied, laughing.

“Sam would have already eaten breakfast plus last night’s leftovers, by now.” Jade rose from the picnic bench and allowed Tori to lead her inside the house.

-

A loud moan, and then, “ _Seventeen_ ,” Brittany panted. Tori blinked, because she realized she hadn’t really been present for the last couple of strikes, not mentally. Oh, she had delivered them conscientiously, she had been paying attention to Brittany enough to know they were to her liking, but she hadn’t been...attuned to her, the way Mistress Tawny needed to be.

She realized, then, it was because she had lost the Mistress Tawny headspace. It had slipped away from her, as thoughts of Jade had drifted into her mind, bringing with it the giddy, feather-light sensation of _being in love_ …

Not that love was always such a tender thing, or even something she regarded as entirely _separate_ from topspace, but right now, that’s what flooded through Tori, in a way that absolutely _did_ knock her out of Mistress Tawny’s particular topspace, pulling her focus.

_Damn it_.

Tori closed her eyes for a moment, swallowing and trying to center herself. She was holding a leather paddle, and turned it to the soft side, with the faux fur, stroking it delicately over Brittany’s bare backside. “We’re going to pause, for just a minute,” she purred, “And you’re going to wait patiently for me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Mistress,” Brittany replied breathily.

“Good girl,” was the reply, an assurance that Brittany wasn’t responsible for what was prompting this pause in activity. Tori walked over to the other side of the room, the aftercare side, and took a big, deep breath, trying to bring Mistress Tawny back into herself.

She hadn’t expected this to be that difficult. When dealing with her grief over Grandma Jean, it had been a little harder to reach topspace, but she’d managed it and kept it once she’d achieved it. And she was a professional, damn it. She hadn’t even lost her head when Jade had showed up unexpectedly at the Fet Ball.

But loving Jade (and having it reciprocated) had thrown her off, somehow. It was probably something they needed to talk about. There was still that bit of concern for Tori, born out of all her other experiences trying to date, that her job would somehow impact her relationship with Jade, and she certainly wasn’t willing to give either one up. She could only hope that they could coexist.

But this wasn’t even really about _that_. It was about focus. It was about embodying Mistress Tawny Swain.

There was a full-length mirror off to the side in the aftercare space. Tori used it sometimes, to come back to herself after a particularly intense session, and sometimes it was good for clients, too, so they could see how relaxed they were and how they glowed after a session. She used it now to bring Mistress Tawny back, taking in the sight of herself, in her bangs and boots and bustier. She was an imposing, _sexy_ figure, and that alone was enough to begin her refocusing.

She glanced across the room at Brittany, who was not alone, but could not see her. She was shifting on the spanking bench, clearly almost in agony anticipating her next blow. But at least it was _good_ agony.

Tori knew what to do to fully bring back The Mistress. “I think we need some music in here, don’t you?” she asked Brittany, rhetorically.

“Yes, ma’am,” she heard from across the room, though clearly, music was going to come on whether Brittany wanted it or not. Tori often used music to reach topspace, an especially useful tool recently when grief had made it more difficult. Early in her career, she’d used it to help her stay in the correct headspace during an entire session, but it hadn’t been necessary for a long time.

But as the first notes of a familiar song started, Tori felt Mistress Tawny take over fully, her focus snapping to the woman across the room who was _aching_ for her paddle. She felt her mouth stretch into a sadistic smirk, and strode back across the room with the confidence of the goddamn professional she was.

“Where were we?” she purred close to Brittany’s ear.

“S-seventeen,” Brittany stammered, trembling in anticipation.

“Nine more with this paddle,” Mistress Tawny told her, “And then we’ll see what else you can take for me.”

“Yes, Mistress,” Brittany whimpered.

Mistress Tawny took a moment--just a moment--to enjoy the sight of the woman before her, her voluptuous curves and strong limbs, who was _completely_ at her mercy, her appetite for pain even more voracious after that short break.

And Mistress Tawny was here to deliver it to her, exactly as she liked it.

She drew back and struck, the music of Brittany’s moan and her guttural “ _Eighteen_ ,” as pleasing and empowering as Nicki Minaj playing across the room.

-

Jade spent her morning answering emails, making phone calls, and browsing sublets in New York City. By lunch time, when she was supposed to go meet Tori, she was ready for a break. She was excited about her upcoming work, but she was also nervous about the timing, about the prospect of leaving Tori for an extended time when things were so new.

But Jade set that aside as she drove over to the Moustache Media building. She was early; Tori was expecting her around one, and she’d arrived about fifteen minutes before then, but she jabbed the buzzer, anyway.

Kwakoo answered. “Moustache Media. Do you have an appointment?”

“Uh, yes,” Jade replied, “It’s me. Jade West?”

“One moment, please.”

Jade waited, eyebrow lifting as time stretched. Then there was a buzzing sound, and the click of the door unlocking. Jade stepped into Tori’s waiting room. She could see Kwakoo sitting in his office behind the receptionist’s glass. He gave her a skeptical sort of look, as if he still wasn’t pleased she was allowed in the building. “She’s with someone, but she’s waiting for you back there.”

“Where?” Jade asked.

“The Fungeon,” he replied, and Jade heard the internal door unlatch, so she moved to open it.

Jade headed down the hall apprehensively, uncertain what to expect. Was Kwakoo certain Tori was ready to see her, when she was still with a client? And why would Tori want to meet her in the Fungeon?

It seemed awfully unlikely, but a part of Jade wondered if she was about to be given her very own private workshop called Dating Someone Kinky. But if she was invited to come back...Jade was curious enough to see what was going on.

The door to the Fungeon was closed, so Jade knocked lightly. Moments later, it was opened by...a man?

A familiar man.

Jade was trying to place him, taking in the fact that he was wearing yellow dishwashing gloves. “Uh...hi,” she finally said.

“Is that Jade?” she heard Tori’s voice. But...not _quite_ Tori’s voice. “Let her in.”

“Mistress Tawny says enter,” the man said with a sassy flourish of his hands and an effeminate lilt to his voice.

“Steven,” there was a warning in Tori’s...The Mistress’s voice now. Jade walked into the Fungeon apprehensively, to see Tori seated in an armchair at the edge of what she’d called the aftercare section of the space, legs crossed, eyes focused on Steven.

The name was jogging a memory, “Wait,” Jade said, “Have we met before?” she asked, before it occurred to her that maybe talking to one of Tori’s clients was against protocol. But then, he’d spoken to her. Tori had invited her in.

He gave her an appraising look, “Hmm, it’s possible. Ever eaten at the restaurant in the Burbank Hotel Harriott?”

Jade’s eyes widened. “ _Yes_. You were my server when I met Beck for breakfast,” she put the pieces together as she spoke, remembering that even though she and Beck had gotten the breakfast buffet, Steven had still made an impression by keeping her coffee cup full.

Oh. And she’d left him Beck’s phone number.

She was just wondering how _that_ had gone when he spoke again.

“Oh, _right_!” he exclaimed, then sighed, “ _Beck_. I do remember you, sweetheart. Well, you tell your friend Beck that if he ever wants another blowjob--”

“ _Steven_ ,” Mistress Tawny interrupted. She didn’t have to say anything else, just looked at him sharply.

Steven stood up straighter. “Yes, Mistress,” he said, his voice more serious now, and he turned his attention to the spanking bench he was currently cleaning.

Jade wasn’t sure what to do, because Mistress Tawny was sitting there, looking dangerous as she watched Steven. But then, a moment later, her eyes shifted to Jade and softened slightly, her stern mouth lifting in an unfamiliar smile. “Pull up a chair,” Mistress Tawny instructed, waving her hand in the general direction of the aftercare space behind her.

“Okay,” Jade said quietly, pulling over a chair from the little kitchen space and sitting down next to Mistress Tawny. She was still watching Steven, and, in fact, had just instructed him to _make sure that area is especially clean_. Jade perched awkwardly on her chair, unsure what her role was, here.

The Mistress glanced at Jade, sharing a conspiratorial smirk. “He’s really great at this,” she murmured, as if it were a secret, “But don’t tell him that, he’ll get complacent.”

Jade nodded mutely, unsure how to respond. “Is he...a client?” she ventured.

The Mistress nodded, “Yes, but he’s a bit of an exhibitionist, too, so he didn’t mind you joining me.” She scrutinized Jade for a moment, “You’re welcome to wait in my office if you’re not comfortable with this.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jade couldn’t understand how having people watch you clean could be exciting for anybody, but Steven seemed focused on his work in a way that Jade could identify with, embodying pride in performing his task.

“So,” The Mistress said, voice still subdued, “What was that about Beck?”

“Oh,” Jade said, “After...uh, the morning after the reunion,” she started, “I met up with Beck for breakfast at the hotel, and Steven was our server. When he flirted with Beck, I left him Beck’s number.”

“Interesting,” Mistress Tawny’s eyes were back to lingering on Steven, “Sounds like it went well.”

“Yeah, and now I’m realizing Beck never even told me about this, so, I’m gonna…” Jade trailed off.

The Mistress nodded, “Almost time to wrap up with Steven, anyway,” she replied, “I’ll be with you after that.”

Jade pulled out her phone and texted Beck.

**So...you never told me about Steven**

**You know, cute waiter from our hotel breakfast?**

Meanwhile, The Mistress had approached her client, and was inspecting his cleaning work closely. Jade heard her saying, “You’ve done better here before,” and glanced up to see Steven cringing, but he was blushing. _Weird_. What even was this? But she wasn’t seeing anything she hadn’t seen at the Fet Ball, really, so she wasn’t uncomfortable being present in this space.

Her phone buzzed with a reply.

**I’m...sorry?**

**So, no thanks for being a great wingwoman?**

**So you _did_ give him my number!**

**Well, what did you _think_ happened?**

**I don’t know**

**I guess I didn’t think much about it**

Wow, must be nice to be a guy and not have to worry about how some dude got your number. Jade rolled her eyes.

**Guess it’s hard to think with your dick in someone’s mouth**

**Anyway, you’re welcome**

**How was it?**

**Sounds like you kind of already know**

The Mistress and Steven walked past her, into the aftercare space, and The Mistress began praising his attention to detail in the cleaning of the kitchen area, which made Steven murmur, “Thank you, Mistress,” over and over again as she continued the praise. Jade wondered if she should be overhearing this part. It felt personal.

But then, she was also talking about the sex Steven had with her friend, so...maybe personal was out the window at this point.

**I just know a blowjob occurred**

**Well**

**Then I guess I’ll just say it was great**

**Great enough to call him next time you’re in town?**

**Maybe**

Beck really was a slut. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

Meanwhile, she heard Mistress Tawny tell Steven that he’d done really well today, and that he’d be permitted to masturbate when he got home. _What_?

“Thank you, Mistress,” Steven replied.

“Don’t thank me yet,” The Mistress drawled back, “Thank me when you come.” She patted his cheek affectionately, and her eyes shifted to Jade, who wondered if she shouldn’t be watching. “I’m going to see Steven out. I’ll be with you shortly.”

“Okay,” Jade replied, sliding her phone back into her pocket.

With Mistress Tawny out of the room, Jade took the opportunity to look around a little bit herself. She’d been given the tour, of course, but if she were honest, she’d been more interested in the second half of Moustache Media, where the VR videos were made. Now that she was dating a dominatrix, she was a little more curious about this end of things. She looked at the display of toys hanging on the wall, remembering the handcuffs that Sam had broken out of after the filming session. She wondered if anything else on the wall was more decorative than functional.

Some of them must be functional, though, right? Jade picked up a wooden paddle. It looked more like a prop than something someone would actually use. Jade wondered how it would feel, and slapped it against her palm. She frowned, uncertain, and twisted, slapping it against her own ass.

Okay, that could certainly produce results, she guessed. She exchanged it for another paddle hanging next to it, this one more flexible. Leather, maybe. A test slap on her palm, and another on her ass. The sensation was different, and Jade concentrated, aiming another, trying to compare the two.

“You know, I could always do that for you, if you want,” came Tori’s amused voice.

Jade hung back up the leather paddle with as much casual energy as she could muster. “No, that’s okay,” she turned to face her. There was Tori, standing at the other end of the Fungeon, near the door that led to her office. And it was unmistakably Tori, without The Mistress’s bangs or boots, though she was still wearing the rest of the outfit. “Does anyone ever use these on you?” she asked.

“No,” Tori replied, walking to meet Jade, “Not professionally, anyway. Unless I lose a Spank-Off, but even that’s more silly than an _actual_ spanking. I’ve experienced some of it in my private life, but…” she shrugged, “It doesn’t...fulfill me like topping does.”

“I guess I just wondered if I needed to learn how to use these,” Jade admitted.

Tori flashed her a smile, “If it interests you, I could always teach you,” she replied, climbing up onto the spanking bench, and looking at Jade over her shoulder playfully.

“I...uh…” Jade stared at Tori’s ass. “I mean...I wouldn’t know...uh…”

Tori laughed and jumped down, “Come on. Kwakoo said lunch should be here any minute.”

“Wait,” Jade said, grabbing Tori’s hand and pulling her close. She paused, then, wondering about the etiquette of the space. “Can I kiss you in here or is that--”

In answer, Tori kissed her, one hand settling at the back of her neck, the other at her hip, drawing her even closer. Jade whimpered into the kiss, feeling the erotic pull of Tori, who had so recently been The Mistress, but who was now _hers_ , melting into her kiss, loving and affectionate and sweet.

They kissed for a long time, but Jade still wasn’t ready for it to end when Tori reluctantly pulled away. “We should...uh, lunch,” Tori said dazedly.

Jade smirked a little, “Okay. Let’s lunch,” she replied. Tori grinned, shaking her head, and slipped her hand into Jade’s as they walked toward her office together, stopping by the fridge for Tori to grab some bottles of water.

Kwakoo must’ve already come and gone, because there was a takeout bag already sitting on the table in front of the small office couch. They settled on it together and Tori opened the bag, pulling out cartons of Chinese food.

“Okay, here’s the Orange Chicken…” she passed it to Jade, “And if you want some of my Szechuan Tofu, we can share.”

“You’re just saying that because you want some of mine, don’t you?” Jade challenged. “But actually, yeah, I’ll try some of your tofu.”

They dished out food onto their paper plates, eating with the provided chopsticks. Jade had to admit sharing the dishes was a good idea, because the spicy tofu was a nice contrast to the sweet chicken. They were quiet for a moment as they ate, and then Jade finally broke the silence.

“So, Steven. Beck’s former lover. I take it he’s that one cis male client who cleans that you mentioned before?”

Tori nodded, “He’s the exception, yep.”

Jade digested that. “And he...you told him to go home and…”

Tori smirked, “It’s his reward. His sessions are so low-stakes that he doesn’t require much aftercare beyond some praise. It’s part of why it was okay for you to be there, I mean, besides his exhibitionist thrill.”

“But isn’t he...gay?” Jade hazarded a guess. Okay, sure, he could easily be bisexual, but in her experience, most guys who had that sort of effeminate veneer were just _gay_.

Tori nodded, “That’s how he identifies, yes. And for him, part of the thrill is the transgression of him, as a gay man, submitting to me. The fact that it falls outside of his general sexual orientation makes it more exciting for him. I can be pretty certain it’s not me he’s thinking of when he gets off, but the subversiveness of our time together inspires him. So I get the credit.”

“I’m going to venture a guess that he might think of Beck,” Jade smirked, “Because it sounds like they _definitely_ had a nice time together.”

Tori shook her head, “I still can’t believe I’ve had any erotic overlap with Beck, of all people.”

Jade eyed her, “Uh, _hello_.”

Tori’s eyes widened and she almost choked on her water. “I--I meant since--” she stuttered.

Jade laughed, “I know. It was a long time ago.” She had mercy on poor Tori, who looked embarrassed and was dabbing at her face with a napkin. “So it was...interesting, spending time with, uh...The Mistress,” Jade ventured cautiously.

Tori smiled, “I told you she didn’t hate you.”

“I _guess_.” She paused. “It was kind of cool to see you work, though.”

Tori regarded her curiously, “It didn’t bother you? I mean, given the nature of my work…”

Jade shook her head, “No, because...I mean, I get that it’s _performance_ for you. Like, The Mistress is you but...not. It wouldn’t be any different than if you were cast on a TV show where you had a love interest.” Jade was kind of putting it together as she spoke, the realization that Tori was cautious about this topic, and her own realization that, in spite of her tendency toward jealousy, she didn’t feel it for Mistress Tawny’s clients. “I mean, I have no doubt that you have some real connection and chemistry with some of your clients, but...again, the same thing could be said about an acting role. I guess I just...I get it.” Tori was just gazing at her with a slow smile spreading across her face. “What?”

Tori shook her head slowly. “Nothing. I just...I’m really glad you get it, Jade.” She took a breath. “It hasn’t always been easy, trying to explain to people that my job is a _job_. One I very much enjoy and am good at, but it’s still _work_. And it’s not nearly the same as being with you.”

“Well, I know _that_ ,” Jade scoffed.

“Not everyone could wrap their heads around it,” Tori shrugged.

Jade wondered if she’d just been being dense with all her cracks and assumptions about Tori not dating. Maybe it really wasn’t that Tori didn’t want to date. Maybe it was that Tori couldn’t find people who could handle being with her.

Which was stupid, Jade thought savagely. Idiots had missed out.

They kept eating as Jade found herself wondering further about what kinds of things Tori had heard or dealt with from potential partners, when it came to her work. She was trying to decide if she should pry, when Tori’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She withdrew it, and Jade realized it wasn’t her normal PearPhone.

“Sorry, give me a moment. Work,” Tori explained, and Jade watched as she sat up straighter, reading over whatever had come through on her phone, and then tapped at the screen. She smirked, nodded to herself, and put the phone back into her pocket, relaxing once again.

There was something intriguing about the moment, but Jade couldn’t quite place what it was. Instead, Tori asked her about what her photography shoot was in the afternoon, and they talked about Jade’s work as they finished up lunch.

When Jade left, she wondered if anyone else had ever been treated to lunch in The Mistress’s office, or if, like the sink and the second showerhead in Tori’s massive bathroom, it was a privilege only Jade would get to enjoy.

-

Tori’s afternoon was much easier to manage than her morning, mostly because it was Mrs. Lee and her usual session was to hang in the swing while wearing the sensory deprivation mask which meant all The Mistress needed to do was check on her every so often to make sure everything was as it should be. It was easy to want to handle other business during sessions like this, where clients wanted to be completely ignored, but it was important to Tori to maintain the energy of the space and her persona, so she usually used this time to study one of her books on shibari. As she’d mentioned to Jade a while back, she was still looking for someone to practice this particular rope technique with, and...she’d been curious to see what Jade’s level of interest was, if she was being honest about it.

After her appointment with Mrs. Lee, Tori’s schedule was cleared for the day. There was a text from Jade saying she’d wrapped her shoot about half an hour earlier and they’d planned to meet at the house to regroup before heading to her mom and dad’s place for dinner, where Tiffany would also be joining them. This was apparently how they’d decided to break the news to all the parents at once, so they could just deal with any and all questions, because they knew their parents were nosy and would want to know all kinds of things. So, she was bracing for the third degree and she had a feeling Jade had a similar expectation.

When Tori got home, Jade’s truck was taking up basically the entirety of the driveway. Tori groaned, but parked in front of her house so that the nose of her car was blocking part of the driveway.

Well. There was no mistaking when Jade was home.

Tori went into her house and called, “Jade?” No answer. Tori checked the bedroom to be certain, but Jade wasn’t there, so she headed out the back door and knocked on the door to the guest house.

“Come in!” she heard Jade call through the door.

Tori stepped inside and saw Jade lying on her back in bed, though she was starting to sit up as Tori came in. “Hey,” Tori said warmly.

“Hey, yourself,” Jade replied, “Come here.”

Tori kicked off her shoes next to Jade’s spanking bench, er, boot rack, she guessed it was, and crossed the guest house to Jade’s bed. Jade settled back down on her pillows, holding an arm out expectantly, and Tori climbed up next to her, tucking herself close to Jade’s side, resting her head on Jade’s shoulder. She sighed contentedly, closing her eyes, feeling arms wrap around her, gentle but secure, breathing in the scent of Jade’s perfume and her laundry soap. She felt the press of lips to her head, and felt her own stretch into a smile.

The two of them lay together for a while, not napping, but resting together. Tori knew she was mentally preparing for the conversation with their parents and assumed Jade was, too. Enjoying the comfort of one another’s presence was certainly a good way to face the threat of something stressful, but for Tori, it was more than that. She’d _missed_ this. Cuddling just because. Holding someone--her arm tightened around Jade’s middle in an affectionate squeeze at the thought--and being held, herself. The way Jade made her feel safe in moments like this, and cherished. There was a lot Tori had missed over the years--the way strong emotion elevated great sex to mind-blowing was a major one. But she’d also missed the little affectionate moments that were a part of being in love, and she recognized the familiar ache of their lack that was being assuaged now. Every moment with Jade felt like it awakened a part of her that had withered away, and was in bloom again, almost painful with the speed at which it regrew, filling her with forgotten sensations and emotions.

Tori felt warm, and quietly joyful, and invincible as she snuggled with Jade, buoyed up by the love they shared. No matter what happened with their parents--and she couldn’t imagine it would be anything terrible, just at the worst, mortifying--they had each other, and Tori knew they’d go to bed together that night, holding each other and loving each other, and all the foreseeable nights of their future.

She felt Jade’s fingers on her forearm, tracing over what Tori easily recognized as the curves of her compass tattoo. She remembered the way she used to do the same to Jade’s nautical star tattoo when they were first dating, how it was an excuse to touch her, and the way Jade had traced the bold, straight lines of the first version of her compass tattoo, fingers stroking their way toward the little W and everything it symbolized.

But now, she relaxed under Jade’s attention, turning her forearm to let Jade see and touch all of it, sighing into her shoulder as she felt soft fingertips loop over her skin. Gradually, she became aware of a shift in Jade, of tension gathering in her body. Tori could feel it in the way her chest and stomach tightened under her arm, in the way her shoulder drew closer to her body.

Tori lifted her head to see that Jade was staring at her tattoo and crying, though clearly trying to hold back tears.

“What’s wrong?” Tori asked in shock, sitting up and reaching for Jade.

Jade shook her head and took in a steadying breath. “You kept the west,” she got out.

It took Tori a moment to even realize what Jade was talking about, but the way Jade held onto her forearm helped her get there. The compass on her arm still pointed west, even if things had been added and it wasn’t quite as easy to spot without really looking for it. She nodded, “I did.”

Jade closed her eyes, breathing deeply, bringing herself back to some semblance of control, before she finally said, “ _Why_? I thought...I was sure...this was all to cover it up.”

Tori shook her head. “No. It was just to change the meaning of the tattoo for me. It was never about erasing you.” She thought back to that Christmas Eve she’d spent in the tattoo parlor, to the way she’d had to start thinking of Jade as a part of her journey instead of the summit of it. She remembered her profound loneliness, her desperation to feel that she was making the right choices. And somehow, her choices had led her back to Jade. “Even after we broke up...you were always important to me,” Tori disclosed, “I wanted the tattoo to still reflect that in a small way.”

Jade shook her head, still looking awed. It was clear she didn’t know what to say.

So Tori kissed her gently, and then snuggled close to her, holding her as she blinked away tears, clearly moved by a decision Tori had made so long ago that she rarely considered it anymore.

But eventually, it was time to rouse themselves and make their way to the Hollywood Hills for their dinner date. She felt Jade shifting under her, and she reluctantly rolled off of Jade’s shoulder, the two of them sitting up slowly. Jade reached over to gently grasp Tori’s chin, pulling her in for a few soft, reassuring kisses, and then she said, “I’m going to get changed, but I’ll meet you in the house in a couple of minutes.”

“I should do the same,” Tori sighed, really not wanting to leave Jade’s bed. Jade’s bed that she might never sleep in again, if Tori had anything to say about it.

When Tori was ready, she came out of her bedroom to find Jade standing in the living room, dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, appropriately modest for a meal with the family. For some reason, Jade seemed amused as she looked at Tori. “A pink blazer. Why am I not surprised?”

“I like it,” Tori defended, though she knew Jade wasn’t actually being critical. Jade had made it clear in the past that she thought Tori’s blazers were appealing. Just like the glasses Tori had switched out her contact lenses for. “Which car are we taking?” she asked.

“Mine,” Jade replied easily, “I haven’t shown your parents yet.”

Tori nodded, “Just don’t back into mine as you’re coming out of the driveway,” she said as she followed Jade outside, turning to lock the front door. “You locked the patio door, right?”

“Yes,” Jade replied. She was standing and looking at her car. “So you can’t fit there?” she gestured to the driveway next to her truck.

“Nope,” Tori replied.

“What should we do?”

“I don’t know,” Tori replied, “We’ll figure it out. As long as there’s still room for one of us to park on the street, it’s fine. We can look into getting the driveway widened or something.”

Jade grunted noncommittally and circled around her truck. Tori climbed in on the passenger’s side. It really was _weird_ to be so high off the ground. But on the drive down Ventura Blvd then up into the hills, there was a powerful feeling of being raised up, of having a view. She did worry about the width of the thing, especially on the narrow, winding roads, but the Buick hadn’t been much smaller in that regard, so Jade didn’t seem to have any problem navigating. Once Tori was convinced they weren’t going to be run off the road and tumble down the hillside, she relaxed. She must have been more obvious about it then she realized because Jade laughed at her.

“You good over there?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” Tori insisted. “This is just new.” She had been clutching the grip on the door pretty tightly, though, and she flexed her hand to get the blood circulating again.

“Your dad’s car is, like, the exact same size.” Jade had a point. “Both the one he has now and the one he had like ten years ago.”

“Okay, well...I don’t really ride around with him now and, back then, I don’t think I was aware of how terrifying these roads actually are.”

“That part I understand. When I came back and started driving them again, I’m really not sure how I learned to drive them at like, sixteen.”

“Aw, but you were so good at it.”

“Yeah, because I hauled your ass everywhere in high school.”

“Not _all_ the time!”

“It took you long enough to learn to drive,” Jade teased.

“Okay, you didn’t even start giving me rides until the middle of junior year and then I had my license literally our entire senior year.”

“You even have a car now and, here I am, driving you home.” The truck rolled into the Vega driveway and Jade set the brake.

Again, they were met with the familiar scenario of sitting in the driveway, the one where they’d launched probably hundreds of kissing explorations, figuring out how they fit together, learning which kisses generated what reactions from the other. Driveway Time had been a sacred ritual in their teen lives, something they’d been reminded of that day they’d arrived together to prepare for the funeral. And now, they were here again, in Jade’s new truck, elevated so that the view of the house and the yard felt different, yet still all the same.

The seats were wider and the console between them was also bigger than the Buick, but it was padded and softer, so when Tori leaned over and grabbed the front of Jade’s shirt, pulling her closer, nothing was digging into Tori’s hip. “We haven’t made out in here,” Tori observed.

“Looks like you’re planning to change that,” Jade replied, smiling and she allowed Tori to continue the action of connecting them. Their lips met softly, the sensation of kissing Jade as familiar to Tori as driving, something she learned long ago and knew instinctively now, but new, too. She and Jade had changed a lot over the years they’d been apart, and parts of that came through in the way they responded to each other, built off of each other, in the way their tongues moved together. Little surprises that reminded them both of how they were getting reacquainted, of how much time apart they still had to make up for.

But the spirit of exploration was alive in Jade’s truck, as Tori felt Jade’s hand clutching at her waist, trying to pull her closer, and Tori’s own hand spread over Jade’s ribcage, hesitating just beneath her breast. They’d been taking their time with these kisses, relearning what Driveway Time was to two adults in a new car in the same old driveway, and Tori thought she definitely had more restraint than she’d had as a teenager, more awareness now that they were less alone than they felt. Still, they had reasonable privacy. She let her hand slide up slowly, molding to the contours of Jade’s breast, feeling the way her breath got shaky--

The sound of a car door slamming broke them apart, and they had just enough time to stare at each other, bleary and curious, before there was a knock at Jade’s window.

Jade jumped about a mile, springing away from Tori, hand at her chest. Tori bit her lip to hold in her laughter, grateful that she wasn’t the one who got startled half to death for once, and Jade let out a breathy, “ _Mom_! What the hell?”

The driver’s side window slowly rolled down. Tori could just see the top of Tiffany’s head, but then she must’ve lifted up onto the step bar, because her face was in the window and she held onto the window frame. “Hi, honey,” she said to Jade, “I just thought maybe we could all walk in together.”

Jade groaned, hand still pressed against her heart. “Yes, fine, we’re coming.”

“Hi, Tori,” Tiffany smiled at her. “What do you think of Jade’s new truck?”

“It’s pretty cool,” Tori grinned back, hearing Jade’s defiant snort and seeing the conspiratorial grin Tiffany shot her that she didn’t quite understand.

“Oh, my god, Mom. Get down so I can get out of the car,” Jade ordered.

Tiffany’s face disappeared, and Jade rolled up her window, letting out a sigh and shaking her head. Tori watched her with amusement. “Ready for this?”

“After my mom almost interrupted us? What more could go wrong?” But she reached over and squeezed Tori’s hand, once, before they stepped out of the car and walked over to where Tiffany was waiting to walk to the door with them.

Tori’s mom answered, offering a hug and a kiss on the cheek to each of them and ushering them inside to where David was cooking. They exchanged some basic pleasantries for a while as they stood around the dining room. Holly offered a choice of wine or weed, and Jade declined both. She did, however, step outside with Tori, Holly and Tiffany as they passed a joint around, smoking just enough to whet their appetites. Their moms immediately began discussing the latest selection for their erotic book club, and Tori could tell Jade wanted to duck back inside, where her dad would certainly not want to discuss something so embarrassing, but she stayed to keep Tori company. She shot Jade a grateful smile as she passed the joint to her mother.

By the time they stepped back into the house, David reported that dinner was ready, and the five of them sat at the dining room table. David had prepared salmon (“it’s heart healthy!”), along with asparagus and roasted potatoes. Tori and Jade sat down together, and Tori reached over to give Jade’s knee a reassuring squeeze under the table as everyone served food and started settling into the meal.

“So, girls,” David finally said, “You mentioned news.”

Tori nodded, glancing at Jade for reassurance, but Jade deliberately took a big bite of potato, communicating clearly that she wasn’t about to start the conversation. “Right,” Tori said. “Uh, well...I’m not really sure how to announce this…”

“You’re not selling the house, are you?” Holly asked, sounding concerned.

Next to her, Jade shook her head, but Tori confirmed with her own, “Oh, no. Not that.” Tori paused, taking a bite of salmon. Were they just going to come right out with it? They should have discussed a strategy for this.

Then her mother upped the ante with, “Well, then what’s going on? Is someone pregnant?”

Tori nearly dropped her fork. Tiffany shot Jade a _very_ scandalized look.

“Oh, my god, Mom, really? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jade sounded offended.

Tiffany shrugged, “I just figured...between the two of you…”

“I’m about as gay as Tori at this point,” Jade sounded frustrated. “ _Meaning_ I haven't been sleeping with any guys, lately.”

“Well, I don’t know, you’ve always said bisexual. Plus, you weren’t drinking.”

“I’m _driving_!”

“I’m not pregnant, either,” Tori volunteered the information. “So, that’s not the news. And, Jade, neither of us have to be sleeping with men to have a baby.”

“Okay, but no one’s _having a baby_ ,” Jade clarified, sounding miffed that things had taken this turn.

“Well then, _what_ is going on?” Tiffany asked it this time, exchanging a glance with Holly and David. Their parents all looked concerned and, okay, maybe a little amused?

Tori guessed it was time to just put it out there. “Jade and I…” she started, glancing once again at Jade for support.

Jade finished her thought. “We’re back together,” she said succinctly.

“Oh, that’s wonderful, girls,” Holly said, her tone entirely too casual for what Tori felt was big news.

“Congratulations,” her dad smiled.

Tiffany had pressed a hand to her breast, “Oh, how sweet,” she said, “I’m happy for you both.”

And that was...it. Tori exchanged a glance with Jade, who raised her eyebrows curiously, and then the conversation shifted naturally to other topics-- _Weed Wars_ , how Holly’s business was going, what Tiffany was considering picking for next month’s erotic book for the book club to read, news about David’s security business. Tori wondered if maybe this wasn’t as big a deal as she thought it was. It _felt_ like a huge deal.

But maybe their parents, like Trina, hadn’t been fooled about what the closeness between the two of them might mean, the way she and Jade had been.

After dinner, she and Jade helped clear the table, and then her dad said, “So, Jade. I heard you got a new truck.”

“I did,” Jade confirmed, “I drove it here, did you want to see it?”

“Can I?” he asked excitedly.

Jade shot Tori a proud sort of smile and squeezed her hand briefly before heading out the door with Tori’s dad. Holly was putting on coffee, and while it brewed, Tori sat back down at the table with Tiffany.

“So,” Tiffany leaned in conspiratorially, “How’d it happen?”

“Uhh,” Tori glanced over to see her mom was listening attentively, smiling and watching Tori. “Well, I guess...doing all the stuff for the funeral kind of made us both realize there were still...feelings...between us. And then last night...” Tori had a feeling that no matter what she said, the moms would both _infer_ what had happened. It felt like being a teenager all over again, constantly being certain her parents knew exactly when she was experimenting sexually. “Last night we finally talked about it,” she said succinctly.

Tiffany literally gasped, hand at her chest again. “Oh, my goodness, that’s so sweet,” she said, voice full of emotional intensity, “Isn’t that the sweetest thing, Holly?”

“It’s _very_ sweet,” Holly agreed, taking the seat next to Tiffany while the coffee brewed. “I have to admit, we wondered if something was happening during that weekend.”

Tori recalled Jade mentioning something about this, their parents dissecting their interactions. “It...nothing was _really_ happening that weekend. I mean…” Tori trailed off, recalling the sex they’d had in the yard that they’d both apparently written off as grief and comfort, but...of course it was more than that. But it wasn’t something she needed to share with their mothers, especially when she and Jade hadn’t really ever addressed it since. “It really wasn’t anything,” she insisted, “We were just leaning on each other to get through everything. It was kind of _after_ that we both started evaluating things, and, I guess, realized friendship wasn’t what we wanted from each other.”

Tiffany leaned forward again. The action, and the way it displayed her cleavage, reminded Tori of the way Jade kept making her own prominent during the reunion dinner. “Tell me, did the truck have anything to do with it?” she winked.

Tori blinked. “I...can’t say that it did?”

Tiffany sighed, “That’s a shame.”

“I actually made fun of it before I realized it was her new car,” Tori admitted, “But I like it. It suits her somehow.”

Shrugging, Tiffany glanced at Holly, “Jade _did_ say some women like trucks like that…”

“Did the house have anything to do with it?” Holly ventured a guess, a wistful little smile on her face.

Why did these women think inanimate objects were the reason Tori and Jade had reconnected? She guessed they were just searching for a reason, but Tori really didn’t know what to tell them, other than the fact that it was time for them both to stop pretending their friendship was healthy. “I don’t think so,” Tori replied, “We decided to keep our living arrangement the same after the will, but, well, who knows now? We’re still figuring it out. It’s still really new. I mean, of course it’s not, but it is, you know? Really, if anything, the only thing that seemed to make us finally say something was the Santa Ana winds.”

Holly nodded knowingly, “Ahh, yes. The crazy-making winds,” she said, as if it all made sense now. Her eyes softened, clearly thinking of her mother.

Still. Her mom was definitely high. But then, the way Tori herself was rambling reminded her that she was still high, too. They all were.

She wondered how sober Jade was faring in a conversation with her sober father.

“Is it going to be hard with Jade taking that job in New York next month?” Tiffany asked sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, _what_?”

-

Jade took David out to the driveway, where they circled the truck and he hummed and whistled in appreciation at its body and design, Jade proudly pointing out features she liked best. And when it was time to check out the interior, Jade let him climb into the driver’s seat and turn it on. Having driven his SUV, Jade could point out the features that differed from his own car, and David took it all in, seeming impressed.

“This is a really nice truck,” he told her, sounding proud.

Jade felt the fatherly affection in his voice. “Thanks,” she replied, “I’m really glad I chose it.”

They were quiet for a moment, David examining the buttons and dials on the radio, turning on the car’s navigation system to just take a look at the map. And then he said, “So, you and Tori, huh?”

“Yep. Me and Tori.” He nodded, and Jade braced herself for any kind of awkward line of questioning, or maybe some kind of dad lecture, but from which side of things, she couldn’t quite guess. _Be good to my daughter_? Or maybe, _I hope she’s good to you_?

Instead, David just said, “I’m really happy for you both.”

_Oh_. And that was it. “I’m really happy, too,” Jade replied, which made him smile.

“Have you gotten used to having a backup camera yet?” he asked next.

Jade laughed, “Not even a little bit.” And then they were back to talking about cars, Five Point Inspections, and David offering advice for what to do and where to go for a variety of car maintenance needs.

By the time they made it back inside, Jade could smell coffee, and she could see Tiffany resting a hand on Tori’s. Tori looked over at her and smiled, and Jade couldn’t tell if she was drained from whatever she’d been talking to their moms about, or if she was just high.

The coffee turned out to be decaf, which Jade tried not to grumble too much about, and Holly had prepared some warm blueberry sauce to serve over vanilla ice cream--Jade checked to make sure it wasn’t medicated blueberry sauce before indulging. David talked about Jade’s truck, their moms mentioned a few times that they were happy for both of them, but before much more of a fuss could be made about their relationship status, dessert was over. And if the way Tori’s hand kept lingering on Jade’s thigh was any indication, she was ready to leave.

“Thanks for dinner and dessert,” Jade said, hugging both of the Vega parents before wrapping her own mother in a hug.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m glad you suggested this dinner,” Tiffany said, refusing to let go of Jade for a long moment. “And I’m so glad you like your truck.”

Behind her, Tori was going through her own round of hugs, having started with Tiffany, which just gave her mother an excuse to hold on longer. But finally, Jade drew away, and she and Tori waved goodbye to their parents, who all settled on the couches together. Evidently, Tiffany was going to stay a little longer. Maybe a good thing, given that Tori seemed to still be pretty high, and she and Tiffany had smoked together.

And, because they were near it, and because it felt right, Jade drove them to what she had always thought of as Their Overlook. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d been there. Probably at some point during that winter break of her junior year of college, just before Tori went back to Canada and everything finally fell apart for real. But as she pulled into the spot, she felt the weight of so many memories, even though everything about the overlook itself looked different from the height of her truck. The city glowed beneath them, and Tori shot her a curious glance.

“I need to talk to you about something important,” Jade said quietly. New York had been weighing on her all day, and since they’d finished the stress of dinner with their parents, Jade didn’t think she could put it off any longer. Taking them to their overlook for the conversation just felt natural.

“Okay,” Tori said, unbuckling her seatbelt and turning toward Jade, “What’s up?”

Jade sighed, doing the same on her side of the truck cab, taking in the way Tori watched her expectantly. Finally, she just came out with it. “I got a job offer for next month,” she said, trying to keep the heaviness out of her voice, because ultimately, this was _good_ news, even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment. “To direct an episode of a TV series in New York. I’ll be gone for three weeks.”

To her surprise, Tori nodded, “I know. Your mother mentioned it.”

Jade’s mouth dropped open, “She _what_?”

Tori chuckled, “To be fair, she thought I already knew.” She scrutinized Jade for a moment. “Though I guess...you were a little reluctant to tell me.”

Jade sighed, “I just found out about it on Friday. It never felt like the right time to tell you.”

Tori nodded, “No, I get it.” She reached for Jade’s hand, held it securely in both of hers. “If you’re worried that I’ll be anxious or upset about it...don’t be. I’m _really_ excited for you, Jade. This is a great opportunity.”

Jade scrutinized her, “You’re not worried about, like...me having to leave, after we barely get a few weeks together?”

Tori shrugged, “That part isn’t ideal, of course, but...it will be worth it, for you to take this job. And it’s only for a few weeks. We know how to deal with distance.” The last part came out wistful, and a little reluctant, as if Tori realized as she said it that comparing it to her own work in Canada might not be the best thing.

But Jade knew she was right. “Yeah. I guess we know how to have phone sex and stuff.”

“And we have plenty of time to reconnect in person before you have to leave.” Tori smirked, “And we can start practicing sexting now, if you want.”

“What, like, sitting here on the overlook?” Jade joked.

Tori laughed, “I meant like, during the day, while we’re working and running errands or whatever.”

Jade eyed her. “Does that mean I’ll be sexting with The Mistress?”

“Do you _want_ to sext with The Mistress?”

“I don’t know. No. I want to sext with you.”

“Okay,” Tori said, “Give me your phone.”

“Why?” But Jade unlocked it and handed it over.

When Tori handed it back, there was a new contact in her phone, _Mistress Tawny Swain_. “That’s the number for Mistress Tawny. So if I’m in her headspace, you’ll know by which number texts you and you won’t accidentally end up sexting with her.”

“That’s...useful,” Jade agreed faintly. “Are you sure I wouldn’t distract you too much?” Jade was joking as she said it, because she knew Tori was _damn_ good at what she did. She saw the way Tori had rolled with her showing up at the Fet Ball, not breaking character. “I don’t have to text you when I know you’re at work.”

Tori smiled faintly. “Well, to be honest, I had a little trouble this morning, in my first session. I kept thinking about you when I was supposed to be spanking my client. But I worked it out. I just figured I should at least give you the choice for whether or not you want to communicate with The Mistress. And I’ll have time between clients to sext my girlfriend. You just might have to wait for a reply, at times.”

This already felt like part of a new era of being with Tori. “Time delayed texting sounds like something The Mistress would be into, to be honest,” teased Jade. After spending some time sitting and gossiping about Beck with The Mistress that afternoon, the idea of texting with her wasn’t nearly so intimidating. Though it was _still_ a little intimidating. “I guess we’ll see what happens.” She opened Spectrogram.

Tori watched her, “What are you doing, trolling Mistress Tawny’s account?”

Jade scoffed, “Not everything is about you, conceited.” Except that it was. “I’m posting that picture of us I took last night.”

Tori grinned, “Yeah? We’re making it official, then?”

“We’re making it official,” Jade agreed. “You ready?”

“Absolutely.”

Tori pulled out her own phone as Jade uploaded the picture of them snuggled in bed together, captioning it with _How was your weekend? <3_

Jade placed her phone in one of the cupholders between their seats, leaning over to kiss Tori. “I love you,” she told her, when she pulled away.

“I love you, too,” Tori grinned back, “I’m glad we told everyone.”

“Well, we’ll see what people say,” Jade smirked, “Ready to head home?”

“Ready,” Tori smirked, leaning in for one more kiss.

Jade put her truck in gear, hearing her phone buzz in the cup holder. She glanced at it, but continued backing up, remembering to use her backup camera after turning around entirely. As she pulled back onto the road, she said, “I kind of want to know what people say. You know, if anyone comments.”

“Well, that first one was me,” Tori admitted, “But I’ll let you know.”

“Check my phone, too, in case people text me.” Tori laughed at this, and Jade said, “Hey, they _bet_ on stuff like this about us! So I want to know if anyone says anything.” But she couldn’t really blame Tori for laughing. She was laughing at herself, a little, for asking her girlfriend to watch her phone in case anyone texted about their relationship. Which...girlfriend. Maybe because they were so much older it sounded a little juvenile now.

But that was something to think about later. They were only a few minutes into their drive when Tori said, “Robbie commented! Oh…”

“What?”

Tori took in a patient breath. “He wants to know who the other girl in the picture is.”

“I tagged The Pleasure Professor,” Jade protested.

“I know,” Tori sounded exasperated, “Maybe he’s joking.” Jade’s phone buzzed again. There was a pause, as Tori presumably reloaded the image on her screen, and then she sighed again. “That was Trina. She posted an eyeroll emoji.”

“At Robbie, or…?”

“No, at the picture.”

“Figures.”

She heard another vibration. “Aaand, that’s Trina texting me. Calling me an idiot and telling me to be careful.”

“Good advice,” Jade smirked, as her own phone sounded in the cupholder.

Tori picked it up and checked the screen. “And that’s Trina texting you. Saying she hopes you know what you’re doing.”

“Tell her--”

“I can’t log into your phone, Jade.”

“Okay, then just…hold on.” Next stop, Jade pressed her finger onto the phone to unlock it, then told Tori, “Tell her thanks for the concern, but everything’s great.”

She could see Tori watching her from the corner of her eye, “That’s it? Nothing snarky or sarcastic?”

Jade shrugged, “Trina’s a pain in the ass, but she’s trying to watch out for both of us. Least I can do is appreciate it.”

“Don’t know that she’s trying to watch out for _me_ ,” Tori mumbled, but Jade could see her composing a reply on her phone. And then, “Oh, Beck commented,” she said, evidently just switching to Spectrogram on Jade’s phone now. Jade didn’t really mind. The worst that Tori might see on her phone at this point would be...well, messages coming through on her scissHER.

Which, speaking of that, Jade kind of wanted to send one to Astra. Not because she still wanted to date her, but because...maybe they could be friends. Was that wishful thinking? “What did he say?”

“Just congratulated us. And commented _Really_? under Robbie’s question.” Jade chuckled, but didn’t reply. And then Tori said, “Oh, he also texted you.” And then snorted.

“What?”

“He said, _You couldn’t have told me about this earlier when you were grilling me about a blowjob from four months ago_?”

Jade laughed fully, “Okay, just reply, _counting the months, huh?_ He doesn’t need more than that.”

Tori was laughing, too. And then her own phone lit up bright in her hand. “Oh, it’s Andre. Guess I’d better take this.” Jade nodded encouragingly, then heard Tori answer with, “Hello?”

She could hear Andre’s voice, just barely, tiny metallic tones coming through Tori’s phone. Not enough to hear anything he was actually saying, just a sense of his mood. Which seemed happy. Congratulatory. So she presumed he’d seen the post.

“Hey, thanks!” Tori said, “No, yeah, it’s good. Really good.” Jade looked over at Tori as she stopped at a light, and Tori flashed her a grin. She was so cute on the phone with one of her best friends. Jade wondered if she should make her presence known to Andre, too. “Yeah, it had been...building for a long time, I think. Yeah. We finally talked.” Jade suppressed a snort. _Talked_ was one way to put it. “Well, see, you didn’t have anything to worry about.” Jade raised her eyebrows at that. The next thing Tori said was so quiet and rushed that Jade almost didn’t make sense of it. “No, I got rid of that wig a long time ago!” _Weird_. “Huh? Oh, yeah, she’s right here. We’re driving home.” The next sentence was obviously directed at Jade. “Andre says hi and that he’s happy for us.”

“Thanks, Andre!” Jade called so that he’d be able to hear it.

“So how long are you in Chicago?” Tori hummed affirmatives for a while as Andre probably updated her on whatever was going on with him. For someone who was _technically_ LA-based, Andre was barely here anymore. But that was probably good, ultimately. It meant he was doing well. “Well, let me know when you’re back in town, we’ll hang out. Uh huh.” Tori laughed, “Oh, don’t worry. Yeah, she knows...oh my god, you’re ridiculous. Okay, I’m hanging up now. _Bye_!” Tori hung up laughing.

“How’s Andre?”

“He’s really good.” She paused, and Jade wondered if she would be given any more detail about what they’d talked about. “He was actually wondering if you finally knew all the details about what I do. Guess he’s a little out of the loop.”

Jade glanced at her, “What, are there bets going for _that_ , too?”

“I don’t know,” Tori said. “Oh, god, do you think?”

“Maybe I’ll ask Sam later. And what was that about a wig?”

“Oh, well,” Tori mumbled, “I...made this wig once, to pretend to be you.”

A memory resurfaced, of spotting that in Tori’s closet once, “Oh yeah, I remember that wig.”

“What do you mean, you _remember_ it?”

“Um, kinda spent a lot of time in your room in high school. I saw it in your closet once.”

“And you never said anything?”

Jade shrugged, “I don’t know, it didn’t occur to me to ask? We went to a performing arts school, you had a lot of weird things in your room.”

Tori was quiet for a long moment. Jade wondered if she would say anything else, but finally, she said, “Back in high school, when Andre got a crush on you, I tried to help him get over you by dressing up as you and being mean. That’s why I got the wig.” She laughed mirthlessly, “I guess when he saw me at the wake, he was worried...that I might be falling into something that wasn’t good and that he might need to do the same thing for me.”

Jade reached for her hand to squeeze it briefly, “Well, you don’t need to do that,” she said decisively. Then she thought about it. “Was Andre planning to...wear the wig and pretend to be me? Because I want to see that.” They both dissolved into laughter.

Other than Andre’s series of emojis on the picture that Tori read off to her, “...hands raised emoji, clapping emoji, heart-eyes emoji…” their phones were quiet the rest of the way home. When Jade pulled into the driveway, she leaned over and shared a kiss with Tori, loving the idea that they could make something like Driveway Time their own again, not the same as before, not their only little pocket of privacy to explore kissing, but a moment to welcome each other home.

“I guess we should get ready for bed,” Tori said softly.

It wasn’t even close to bedtime yet, but as Jade opened her mouth to say so, she understood what Tori’s tone and expression was implying. “Yep. Definitely should,” Jade agreed.

They still needed to figure out this living situation, Jade thought as she walked through the gate to the yard, heading for the guest house. She checked her Spectrogram post, and saw the first comment that Tori had left on the picture: _pretty good, how was yours? <3_. Jade rolled her eyes, grinning foolishly, and replied, _Nerd_. Seriously, how was Robbie confused by any of this?

She changed out of her clothes and into her pajamas, remembering that her toothbrush was still in Tori’s bathroom. She started washing her face before she sighed and gathered up her face wash and a towel, slipping on sandals and walking across the patio, letting herself into the main house.

The bathroom door was cracked into Tori’s bedroom, so Jade announced herself and Tori told her she could come in, and, at the bathroom counter, the two of them brushed their teeth and washed their faces. Jade liked the domesticity of it, the fact that this bathroom had been designed to be shared and now she was the one who was sharing it. It was kind of stupid, but it was true. To know that Tori, who had been enjoying her independent existence for so long, was welcoming Jade so fully back into her life held validation.

Soon, they were in Tori’s bed together, and there was more validation in the way Tori pressed up close to her, kissing her languidly. It took Jade a moment to remember that Tori was still a little high, and maybe that’s why her kisses were so soft and lazy. She was in bed with a different sort of high Tori than she remembered, too. Definitely not the one who had fucked like a goddamn machine the night of the reunion, but also not quite the one she remembered from their college years, when they’d get high and have intense, passionate stoned sex.

Maybe Tori had smoked something more indica-heavy at her mom’s, or maybe she was coming down from a sativa high. Or maybe it was just because it was getting later in the evening, and a lot had happened that day. But the silly stoner that Jade was currently in bed with was playful and gentle and maybe actually _chill_.

Jade wasn’t high, herself, and maybe that’s why it felt like she was being swept along in the current of Tori’s languorous passion, her unhurried desire. Hands wandered under clothes for a long time as they kissed, until finally Tori whispered against Jade’s lips that she wanted to touch her. Jade let herself be rolled onto her back, letting Tori on top of her, and they got lost in kisses again before finally Tori seemed to remember what the goal was here and slid her hand into Jade’s sleep shorts. There was something sensual about the fact that they stayed clothed, perhaps brought on by the memories of all the times they had discreet sex in Tori’s bed at her parents’ house, clothes staying on in case they were interrupted. Or it was simply because they didn’t want to take the time or the effort to take them off, not wanting to put even that much space between them.

Jade had been aching for contact for a long time when Tori finally touched her, and with her slow touches, indulgent in the knowledge of exactly _how_ Jade liked to be touched, it didn’t take long before she was arching against Tori, groaning through her orgasm. Nor did it take much for Tori to reach climax herself, after Jade rolled them onto their sides and commenced touching in return, hearing the way Tori became excessively vocal as Jade took her time, remembering the way weed tended to have this intoxicating effect on Tori. Tori clutched at Jade as she came, fingers digging into Jade’s shoulder as she cried out and bucked against Jade’s hand, until she wordlessly grabbed Jade’s wrist so she could move her hand, and pressed herself close to Jade in a tangle of limbs.

When they’d finally both settled, and began to feel too warm pressed so close under the covers, they rolled away from each other, still grinning giddily, hands still reaching for each other even as they reached for their phones.

_Shit_. Jade had a ton of texts. But when she opened her app, she saw that it was all from one thread, a group message with Tori, Sam, and Cat.

_Cat Valentine_

**OMG**

**Sam was supposed to ask you this like two weeks ago**

**But would you two pleeeeease come be in my haunted house?**

**It’s not a real house**

**It’s at the theater**

**For Halloween**

_Sam Puckett_

**I was going to but then you put that little collar on and I forgot**

_Cat Valentine_

**SAM that’s private**

_Sam Puckett_

**Oh like they don’t know**

**They’re probably banging it out right now**

_Cat Valentine_

👀

**Okay well if you two are having sex then I hope it’s fun!**

**Call me later about the haunted house!**

**Congratulations!**

_Sam Puckett_

🍑🍑

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Half Alive_ by Hey King!
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> They were in bed on Wednesday night, and Jade was reading a book about film, and Tori was trying to focus on her current book about human sexuality. But eventually, she lowered her book and gazed at Jade.
> 
> “Yes?” Jade asked, not looking up from her book.
> 
> “You keep talking about me spanking you,” Tori started.
> 
> Jade shifted slightly, eyebrow raising as she glanced at Tori. “Do I?” she asked innocently.
> 
> “Is that something you want?”
> 
> Jade shrugged, looking away again, “I don’t know.”
> 
> “I’m just trying to gauge your level of interest with some of this,” Tori said. Jade was still quiet. “There’s a quiz you can take,” she offered.
> 
> Jade groaned, “What is this, kink school?”
> 
> “It’s not _that_ kind of quiz. It’s a quiz to show what you might be into.”
> 
> “Have you taken it?” Jade asked, eyes suddenly fixed intensely on Tori.
> 
> “Yes. I retake it every so often.”
> 
> “Retake it?” Jade shook her head in disbelief, “Can I see what you got?”
> 
> “After you take it,” Tori replied, “So that my results don’t skew yours.”
> 
> Jade sighed as if this were ridiculous, but Tori knew the power of suggestion could be strong for some people. Especially when the suggestion was coming from a dominant person. “Okay, I’ll take your quiz,” Jade said, picking her book back up. Tori continued to watch her as she read, wondering if she should push for this now, but then Jade let out a breath, lowering her book. “You want me to take it now, don’t you?”
> 
> “Kind of,” Tori admitted.
> 
> Jade regarded Tori for a moment, and Tori could see that she was nervous. But then, Jade just said, “Fine. Where’s this quiz?”


	13. Ten: You know I love it, So please don't stop it, You got me right here in your jean pocket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been hanging with us through all this. You're appreciated. 😘

Tuesday morning, Jade sipped her fourth cup of coffee at the picnic table, answering emails while watching Tori do her yoga. Hamster had already come and gone, getting up and leaving at around the time Tori had gone back into the house to change into her workout gear.

“You could do this with me, you know,” Tori had said when she’d laid out her yoga mat as Jade observed her.

“Can’t. Got important coffee to drink and emails to write.” Tori raised an eyebrow, then turned away from Jade to begin stretching. “View’s better from over here, anyway,” Jade mused.

“What was what?” Tori asked, glancing over her shoulder.

“I love you!” Jade shot back with an innocent smile.

Tori gave her a stern side-eye, then shook her head before returning to her yoga routine. It only took a few minutes for Jade to finish up her email replies, so she began to poke around her other apps, checking SplashFace for anything new then remembering she wanted to send Astra a message. She logged into her scissHER account and opened her inbox, to find that Astra had already reached out to her.

_Astra D._

**I feel like things ended on kind of a weird note Saturday night, but I wanted to say I really enjoyed our conversation. If you want to hang out again, I'm into it. :)**

For as much as Jade had wanted to get back in touch with Astra to smooth things out after that awkward ending to their date, this somehow made her feel even worse. Astra was so cool and attractive and likely able to land a date fairly easily, yet wanted to continue talking to Jade, who was now back in a very serious relationship with Tori. The smart thing to do would have been to just let the date fade away into history, but now that Astra had actually reached out, Jade felt like she at least needed to reply so she didn't seem like a total asshole.

_Jade W._

**Hey, so...this weekend was just really bad timing, I guess. The short version is that I'm seeing someone seriously as of Sunday and that was kind of why I was so weird that night (it's complicated?). But you were a great date! Please don't let my awkwardness make you think something was wrong. Not that I think you base your opinion of your date-ability on the one time we had a conversation.**

What was she even saying? Why was she saying so much? This sounded like Tori wrote it. Whatever. She'd wanted to apologize for that night, so here it was. Kind of.

**  
Anyway, good luck on your future dates.**

  
She sent it before she allowed herself to consider how goofy the entire block of text actually was. It wasn't like they were ever going to talk again. But then she received a notification.

_Astra D._

**Does your new partner love movies as much as you do? Because I'm honestly down to just literally hang out over coffee and chat. All three of us. Maybe this is forward but how often do you come across someone who can discuss the filmography of Paul Bartel?**

Jade smiled at the message, then glanced up to see Tori watching her from her standing mountain or whatever yoga pose.

"What's going on over there?" she asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be concentrating on enlightenment or stretching or whatever?"

Tori narrowed her eyes. "You just look like you're up to something."

"Uh. Okay, well, remember my date from Saturday?"

"Yeah."

"She wants to hang out, again." Jade eyed Tori, just wanting to tease lightly but not go too far. "With both of us. Apparently she's starving for good film conversation."

Tori didn't reply right away, maybe because she was in the middle of shifting positions. "Is she hot?"

"Um...yes?"

"Then I guess we have to," Tori replied, smirking at Jade over her shoulder.

“That’s not--” Jade started, but stopped talking before she could actually let Tori fluster her. She turned her attention back to her scissHER inbox, mostly because of the impulse to clear the unread messages notification, not because she was all that interested in anything else that came through.

Until she realized one was from the Cat-fish. _Oh, yeah_. She opened the message.

_Denise J._

**Hey, gorgeous! Do you have any plans this weekend? I was thinking we could get some dinner and see how things go ;)**

Jade _did_ have weekend plans, because she and Tori had called Cat back the night before and agreed to help with the haunted house at the theater. But she knew with the Cat-fish, it wouldn’t matter much, so she just said that sounded great. She glanced at Tori. She knew that she certainly didn’t need this app anymore since they got together, but a part of her _really_ wanted to solve this mystery before deleting it.

She figured she might as well be honest with Tori about that fact. “So, I was going to delete my scissHER,” she started, watching the way Tori stretched and arched into a pose, “But then I remembered the Cat-fish.”

“Oh, right,” Tori said, sounding breathless. She stood up out of her pose and shot Jade a look, “If you’re just trying to see what else is out there, you can tell me,” she teased.

“It’s not about that,” Jade groaned. But she was back to Astra’s message now, composing a response.

_Jade W._

**That sounds great, actually. My girlfriend is on board with hanging out sometime. I might be deleting my scissHER soon, but here’s my number so you can text me. I’m also dealing with trying to expose a catfish on here, so I might hang onto it for a little longer still.**

Jade sent her phone number as its own message. It still felt weird, even though she and Tori were talking about all of it. “Isn’t it weird, though?” Jade voiced her apprehension aloud.

Tori groaned and pushed herself to her feet, “Okay, it’s fine if you want to _watch_ me do yoga, but I can’t actually do this if we’re talking.”

“Sorry, I’ll shut up,” Jade said.

“No,” Tori picked up her water bottle and walked over to sit next to Jade at the picnic table, “It’s fine, I’m done for now.” She took a sip, eyes on Jade, and when she lowered the water bottle, asked, “Is _what_ weird?”

“I don’t know,” Jade was staring at her phone, at the message she’d just sent to Astra. “The fact that I went on a nice date with Astra and now I’m still trying to be friends?”

“It’s not weird at all,” Tori said decisively.

That made sense coming from Tori, Jade thought. She’d had quite a few friends with benefits in her sexual history. But for Jade, the distinction had always been much clearer between people she wanted to date and friends. Aside from befriending Beck after they broke up and maintaining a casual connection with Lana (and trying to befriend Tori, though look how that turned out), Jade had never really mixed friendship and sex. Not that...that was what was going on with Astra. “It just feels weird to me to make a friend from a dating app.”

“It happens all the time,” Tori assured her, “Seriously, I think it’s cool you might’ve made a friend. I know it can be hard to find people you click with out in the wild. And if you want me to come with you to hang out, if that will make it feel _less_ weird to you, then I definitely want to come meet her.”

“I’d like that,” Jade agreed.

Meanwhile, her phone buzzed in her hand, a text from an unknown number.

**Hey, it’s Astra**  
**You mentioned a catfish on scissHER?**  
**Tell me EVERYTHING**

Jade grinned and glanced at Tori, whose eyebrows were raised. “I can’t wait to see what she looks like if she’s making you smile like _that_.”

“Shut up,” Jade put her phone down and reached for Tori, pulling her in for a kiss, “You’re the only one I want,” she assured her, even though she was pretty sure Tori wasn’t actually jealous.

Tori smiled at this, but then threw Jade for a loop when she replied, “ _Wanting_ is perfectly okay, Jade. It’s _acting on it_ that I’d take issue with.” She stood up from the picnic table and went to retrieve her yoga mat. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Jade glanced at her phone, knowing she should at least confirm Astra had texted the right person, but she could do that later. “I’m coming with you,” she told Tori, finishing the rest of her coffee in one gulp and tucking her phone into her pocket, following her into the house.

-

By Wednesday evening, Tori was starting to get a little bit used to their new routine, the new normal of their lives together. They had their morning coffee, this time with bonus cuddling, and when Tori did her yoga on the lawn, Jade watched openly now. They parted for work in the late morning, and Tori had already improved on keeping her focus while working with her clients. In the evenings, they’d catch up on their respective days, have dinner, watch some TV. That was really the biggest change, having something and someone to fill her evenings.

That, and all the sex they were having.

Still, as much as Tori was enjoying the mostly vanilla sex she and Jade had been continually engaging in since Sunday, she was curious what else they might get up to. She knew that she and Jade had been very sexually compatible when they were younger, but that was before they’d both done a lot of growing and Tori herself had experienced a lot of self-discovery. It was important to her to know if they were compatible in other ways.

While they were in bed on Wednesday night, Jade was reading Janet Leigh’s _Psycho_ memoir and Tori was trying to focus on _The Birth of the Pill_. But eventually, she lowered her book and gazed at Jade.

“Yes?” Jade asked, not looking up from her own book.

“You keep talking about me spanking you,” Tori started.

Jade shifted slightly, eyebrow rising as she glanced at Tori. “Do I?” she asked innocently.

“Is that something you want?”

Jade shrugged, looking away again, “I don’t know.”

“I’m just trying to gauge your level of interest with some of this,” Tori said. Jade was still quiet. “There’s a quiz you can take,” she offered.

Jade groaned, “What is this, kink school?”

“It’s not _that_ kind of quiz. It’s a quiz to show what you might be into.”

“Have you taken it?” Jade asked, eyes suddenly fixed intensely on Tori.

“Yes. I retake it every so often.”

“Retake it?” Jade shook her head in disbelief, “Can I see what you got?”

“After you take it,” Tori replied, “So that my results don’t skew yours.”

Jade sighed as if this were ridiculous, but Tori knew the power of suggestion could be strong for some people. Especially when the suggestion was coming from a dominant person. “Okay, I’ll take your quiz,” Jade said, picking her book back up. Tori continued to watch her as she read, wondering if she should push for this now, but then Jade let out a breath, lowering her book. “You want me to take it now, don’t you?”

“Kind of,” Tori admitted.

Jade regarded Tori for a moment, and Tori could see that she was nervous. But then, Jade just said, “Fine. Where’s this quiz?”

“I’ll send you the link,” Tori reached eagerly for her phone. “It’s not the best test, it has some limitations and is weirdly specific about certain things, but it will give you a place to start.”

“Great,” Jade drawled, sounding reluctant, but with the way she put her book down and reached for her own phone, Tori knew it was partly an act. Jade was certainly curious.

Tori forced herself to go back to what she’d been reading so she wouldn’t just be staring at Jade as she reclined next to her, taking the quiz on her phone. Jade had a couple of questions about some of what she saw in the questions, but was mostly quiet, frowning in concentration. Then finally, she grunted, a thoughtful sound. “Did you finish?” Tori asked.

“Guess so. Whatever this means.” She showed Tori her phone.

Tori suppressed a chuckle. Well, Jade had scored high on _Brat, Rope Bunny_ , and _Submissive_ , which was all _extremely_ not surprising. What was a little surprising was her relatively high ranks for _Degradee_ and _Switch_. Tori was already smirking a little, wondering just _what_ Jade wanted to hear in the bedroom and how to get her to admit it. The switch aspect she hadn’t anticipated at all but then, Jade had asked about some of the equipment in the Fungeon. Rounding out Jade’s profile were less strong but still significant rankings for _Masochist_ , _Voyeur_ and _Exhibitionist_. “Interesting,” Tori commented.

“What does _that_ mean?” Jade asked.

“Which part?”

“The part where you said _interesting_ ,” Jade finished with her disturbingly good impersonation of Tori.

“Well, it was mostly what I expected,” Tori started.

“Meaning?” Jade asked, “Because I’m not entirely sure what I’m even looking at.”

“You don’t know what any of this means?” Tori challenged.

Jade blushed, slightly. “I...can infer. Do they really call it a _rope bunny_? What did bunnies ever do to deserve that?”

“Right? It’s kind of a gendered term,” Tori agreed, “I don’t love it, but it’s common parlance for anyone who likes getting tied up. Which, it appears, you do.”

Now Jade was definitely blushing. “Okay, this was all mostly...theoretical, so, I mean...who knows?”

“Will it make you feel better to see my results?” Tori offered.

“I feel _fine_ ,” Jade insisted, though she was still sort of avoiding Tori’s eyes. “But yes.”

Tori found her results from the last time she’d taken the quiz, scanning over her first several high scoring traits: _Brat Tamer, Rigger, Dominant, Sadist_...she smirked, and passed her phone to Jade, watching the way Jade’s eyes widened as she stared.

“Damn, okay,” Jade said quietly.

“You see what this means?” Tori asked.

“What?” Jade passed Tori’s phone back to her, meeting her eyes.

“It means that _theoretically_ ,” she teased, “We’d be very well-matched if we wanted to play together.” She set her phone down and slid closer to Jade on the bed, placing a reassuring kiss on her cheek.

“Definitely something to keep in mind,” Jade mumbled.

Tori had already pushed for enough tonight, with getting Jade to take the quiz. She wasn’t about to try to push Jade to talk about it more. It was still pretty new to her. And they had time.

Right now, all Tori wanted was to kiss her until they got tired and decided to snuggle in bed and go to sleep.

On Thursday, Jade’s work was keeping her busy into the evening, but Tori was finished in the afternoon. They’d been discussing the details of Cat’s haunted house project for the past few days (luckily, both she and Jade were free for the week of evenings devoted to the attraction, starting Saturday night, despite the short notice), and Jade had offered to let Cat use her old lighting setup. And Tori had offered to bring it over to Sam and Cat’s apartment.

After finishing at work, Tori loaded the equipment into the back of her car and started on her drive to Venice, texting Cat to let her know she was heading their way. Traffic was surprisingly light, and it made Tori certain that by the time she was on her way home, it would be a nightmare, but she enjoyed her quick and easy drive to Venice and her luck while it lasted.

The lighting equipment--mostly stands and LED panel lights--fit into a duffel bag, so Tori carried it all carefully to the door of Sam and Cat’s apartment, then knocked firmly.

There was no answer at first. Usually, when she showed up here, there’d be a shouted, “Come in!” or “It’s open!” Or someone would answer within a few seconds. But in this case, just enough time passed that Tori was about to knock again when finally she heard Sam’s voice call, “Come in!”

Tori opened the door to find Cat standing next to the couch, in the middle of taking off a little pink cat’s collar. “Hi, Tori!” she greeted, her eyes bright with mischief, her cheeks somewhat flushed. Back in the kitchen, Sam was standing behind the kitchen island, spreading mustard on bread to make a sandwich and wearing a long-sleeved button-up shirt that was...half buttoned, and not evenly.

“Um...hi,” Tori replied, knowing exactly what Cat’s little pink collar indicated. “I’m...here to drop off this lighting equipment?”

“Thanks!” Cat said, “I’ll take it.” She accepted the duffel bag Tori offered and placed it next to the front closet.

“Will you guys be able to get it to the theater all right?” Tori asked, trying to imagine Cat balancing the duffel bag while holding onto Sam on the back of her motorcycle.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Sam assured, slapping some lunch meat and cheese onto her sandwich. “One of the tech guys is coming here to pick it up along with some other stuff.”

“Well, thanks for stopping by!” Cat chirped, moving to give Tori a hug. “Sam can’t hug you because she’s not wearing any pants, so she’s staying behind the counter,” she explained, still wrapping Tori in one of her strong hugs.

“I see,” Tori replied, her eyes briefly meeting Sam’s over Cat’s shoulder. Sam just gave a smug little smirk, now layering lettuce and tomato onto her meal. “You guys...did remember I was coming over, right?”

“You just got here so _fast_!” Cat said when she pulled away, “Did you break the law to get here?”

“No, just surprisingly light traffic,” Tori explained.

“Won’t be light now,” Sam commented, glancing at the clock and reaching for the barbeque sauce.

“Sorry for interrupting,” Tori began edging her way to the front door.

“It’s okay!” Cat replied, “It was our fault. We lost track of time.”

“Tends to happen around here,” Sam chuckled. Her sandwich was stacked high.

“Well...bye. See you both this weekend,” Tori said, exiting the apartment and hearing both women call out their goodbyes, catching a glimpse of Cat reaching for her discarded pink collar as the door closed.

 _Well_. That was certainly something. She smiled to herself, a little, as she walked back to her car. Cat’s attitude about the whole thing had been surprising and refreshing. She was glad her friend had found her way to be comfortable being openly sexual with her long-time partner. She was proud of her.

-

On Saturday, Tori left for work in the late morning, while Jade stayed home. She had work to do, but not the kind that required leaving the house--she had been sent story materials, the first and most recently locked episodes of the show, and a script for the episode she would be directing for _Warehouse District_ so she could familiarize herself with its world enough to work in it.

But she did have afternoon plans, so once she’d had some lunch, she got into her truck and drove to YasssHomo.

As she got in line, Patrice came in the door behind her.

“Hey,” Jade greeted, unsure of what to do. She certainly didn’t know her well enough to go in for a hug, but a handshake felt far too formal for what this coffee meeting was supposed to be.

“Hello, Jade,” Patrice smiled, her light eyes seeming to appraise her. Jade couldn’t decide if she felt flattered or sized up. But then, Patrice said, “It’s nice to see you without a mask on.”

Jade chuckled, oddly reassured by the mention of the Fet Ball. “It’s nice to see you...here,” she replied, groping for a way to acknowledge the kind of space they were in. Or really, _weren’t_ in. But by then, the barista at the register was ready for Jade’s order, so she stepped up. She half expected Patrice to try to buy her coffee, the way she had so many times when she’d run into Tori or Jade here when they were in college, but was placated by the fact that Patrice let Jade pay for her own drink. She felt like it set the tone of the meeting, put them on equal footing. For some reason, that mattered to Jade. She wasn’t a broke college kid anymore.

It turned out they both ordered double shot Americanos, which made Jade exchange an admiring glance with Tori’s former lover. _Oh god_. She needed to stop thinking of her like that.

The two of them retreated to a booth and sat down together, Jade shaking in one packet of sugar and Patrice not modifying hers at all, just watching Jade perfect her own cup. But finally, Jade said, “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Of course,” Patrice nodded, taking a tentative sip of her very hot beverage. “What did you need to talk to me about?”

Jade tapped her finger against her cup for a moment. “You do...know about Tori and I, right? Like, that we’re...back together?”

“I do,” Patrice confirmed, “Tori told me. Though I’d already seen your Spectrogram post.”

Now Jade was left wondering if _Patrice_ followed her Spectrogram, too. Though Tori had also shared the post on The Pleasure Professor’s Spectrogram story, so it could have been from there, too. “Okay, good. So that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to know...how to date a dominatrix, I guess?”

“Well, that depends on the dominatrix in question. You really need to--”

“I know, I know what you’re going to say, _talk to Tori_. I have. Sort of. It’s just really new and kind of a lot and we’re sort of talking about kink and…” she took a breath, slowing down. Patrice watched her, giving her a moment to compose herself. “I know it’s ultimately a Tori and me thing. I just wanted to talk to an objective, knowledgeable third party to, you know...Give me even a place to _start_ with all of this.”

Patrice blinked, tongue running briefly over her top lip. “Well, about that. I should tell you that I’m not sure how objective I’d be.”

Jade’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I assume that you know that Tori and I have...a history?” Jade nodded. Patrice sighed, then, “I should disclose that...the reason Tori and I stopped seeing each other was that I started to, well, catch feelings. Tori didn’t want a romantic relationship, so we ended our sexual relationship to preserve our friendship.”

“Oh.” Jade sat for a moment, letting that sink in. Of all the ways that connection could have ended, she hadn’t expected _that_. “I see,” she said.

“I mean, I’m not holding onto anything like that now,” Patrice clarified, “But it does mean I doubt my own objectivity. Tori can be…” she trailed off.

“Charming?” Jade suggested.

Patrice nodded, “ _Very_. And sweet.”

“And goofy,” Jade added.

“Hilariously so.”

“Not to mention sexy.”

Okay, maybe that was too far. But the twitch of Patrice’s lip told her that the other woman _definitely_ didn’t disagree. “Sometimes more than she knows.” Maybe Patrice was the one who said a little too much. She seemed to sense it as she straightened in her seat and Jade tried to arrange her face more neutrally. “If you still want to talk, we certainly can. But I figured I’d better be honest with you.”

“I’d still like to,” Jade replied, diving right into it to move past the awkward moment. “It’s like...we’ve talked about some of this stuff, like I said. I mostly understand her work? Like I get that it’s a lot like playing a role, and wrapping my head around that makes me okay with how...intimate, I guess, she has to get with her clients. But I just want to make sure I’m thinking about the things I should be thinking about, if that makes sense. So we don’t get blindsided by something.”

“Well, sex work is diverse, and people do it for all sorts of reasons,” Patrice started. Jade settled in for a lecture. “Most pro-dommes do it because they love it rather than because of coercion or economic necessity. That’s certainly true of Tori. And mostly they just want partners who understand that their work is _work_. And who don’t shame them or try to force them to stop if it’s something they want to continue doing. On the personal side of things, without revealing too much, I do know that Tori has struggled in the past with finding partners who could accept her work for what it was. In that sense, you’re doing great.”

Jade nodded, “Okay, good. I get that part. What else should I be thinking about.”

Patrice looked at her thoughtfully. “How much do you know about BDSM?”

Jade shrugged, “A little.”

“Are you familiar with the idea of particular states of mind that people experience while enacting BDSM practices? Like subspace, or topspace?”

“Not really, but I can infer a lot from just your question.”

Patrice nodded, “The kinds of experiences people have with Mistress Tawny can be very intense, for both parties. For people like Tori, some of what having a partner means is having the freedom and the opportunity to let go of some of what Mistress Tawny is, to be intimate with someone in a way where she doesn’t always have to be in something like topspace. Having a partner might mean being able to be vulnerable in a completely different way.”

Jade frowned a little at this. “That all makes sense, but...what does that mean for us, with the fact that we’re starting to explore what it might look like to do some...BDSM stuff together?”

“Well, I’m sure you’re pretty familiar with what Tori is like in bed,” Patrice cracked a smile, “I’m not saying she’s _not_ going to be _a top_ with you, I’m just saying it’ll probably be a lot different than what she does for work. Because of the kind of person Tori is, she’ll likely want to keep her work persona separate from who she is at home. Exploring this with Tori might not mean Mistress Tawny would be in your bedroom. It’s more likely the two of you will create new identities to play with in your intimate lives.”

Jade digested that, nodding slowly. “Okay. I can make sense of that.”

She and Patrice talked a little longer, enough to finish their cups of coffee. There was some more talk of Tori and BDSM, but then they kind of veered off into other topics. Jade was very grateful that Patrice was back in town--Patrice told her a little bit about what she had been traveling to work on--and that she’d agreed to the meeting. It was a lot less awkward than she had thought it would be, meeting with Tori’s friend. Who had apparently had feelings for Tori in the past.

 _That_ was something.

Tori had texted while she and Patrice were talking, and Jade had just let Tori know she was having coffee with someone. This had prompted Patrice to ask if Tori knew they were meeting, and the truth was, Tori didn’t. Not because Jade was hiding anything, but because it hadn’t come up.

So when Tori came home late that afternoon and knocked on the guest house door, Jade let her in and they sat on the couch together, and before they could get distracted with kissing (or more), Jade thought she’d better tell Tori about her coffee with Patrice.

“How was your day?” Tori asked, nuzzling her cheek.

“Well, I had coffee with Patrice,” Jade replied.

Tori pulled back, gazing at Jade curiously. “ _Did_ you? That’s...unexpected.”

“I guess,” Jade said noncommittally.

“So what did you talk about?”

“You.”

“Me?” Tori’s eyebrows lifted.

“Is that so surprising?”

“I guess not, but...why? And why _Patrice_?”

Jade reached for one of Tori’s hands and held it. “I mean, it wasn’t just you. I also wanted to ask her some questions, since she’s an objective third party. Well, kind of.”

“ _Kind of_?” Tori questioned, eyebrow rising.

Jade ignored that. “So we talked about like...what I should expect dating a pro-domme, and like, what to think about if we start exploring kinky stuff together, and you know. Stuff like that.”

“You realize you could have come to me with these kinds of questions?” Tori asked, though she didn’t sound upset. She sounded affectionate, fond.

“Well, yeah, I know. And we’ve already talked about some of it, and I know we’ll talk about more. But I didn’t want you to have to like, hold my hand through all of this, you know? I wanted to do some of the work myself, so it’s not all on you.”

“But I like holding your hand,” Tori’s expression softened into a smile, and she squeezed Jade’s hand for emphasis. “I get what you’re saying, though. And I do appreciate you putting in that kind of effort for me.” She did, indeed, look particularly moved.

But it honestly felt like the bare minimum to Jade. She was the one who was a little out of her depth with this, she was the one who wanted to know more about Tori’s world. It seemed obvious to her that she should be doing the work here. “Well, it just seemed important to...get it right. Like, before...before I go.”

Tori tilted her head, eyes still on Jade, “Are you talking about the job in New York?” Jade nodded, feeling the thrum of anxiety at the thought of it. But Tori shook her head, “We don’t need to have it figured out by then. We have time,” she said reasonably, her other hand moving to also hold onto Jade’s.

“It just, I’m going to be gone for kind of awhile, so early into things, I wanted to try to make sure…” she trailed off, not really wanting to voice her fear, that somehow they’d discover they couldn’t make things work while she was out of town.

But Tori seemed to read her apprehension, anyway. She sat up straighter. “Is that what this is really about? The long distance thing?” Jade nodded miserably. “I didn’t know that was weighing on you like that.”

Jade smiled bitterly, “Of course it is,” she scoffed, the frustration more at herself than at Tori. “Look, I get that it’s not that long in the scheme of things, and that we’re older now, but I _hate_ it. I hate imagining trying to do this again.”

Tori sat holding her hand for a long time as Jade glared at the wall, the swirl of frustration and pain and anxiety rolling through her. Finally, Tori said, “I’m really sorry I put us through that back then.”

Jade shook her head, “I know, you don’t need to apologize. We both made a lot of mistakes with that. I kept too much to myself.”

“You’re not doing that now,” Tori pointed out. “But I think our biggest mistake was not having a clear end goal. A lot of times, the difference between a long-distance relationship failing and succeeding is knowing exactly when you’ll be together again, when the distance will be over. We didn’t do that, because we didn’t know how.”

Jade digested that, realizing it was exactly what had caused a lot of the strife in her about their situation. Never knowing if Tori would come home because her plans kept changing, realizing she wasn’t coming home for a long time...it made Jade feel hopeless. And a year and a half left of her college education felt like far too long to hang on and wait for something so tenuous she couldn’t even imagine it. “That makes sense,” she replied quietly.

But then she thought of Lana, of the way even _knowing_ they would only be separated for three months hadn’t been enough. The way she’d avoided getting close to people, knowing she would only be moving on in a few months to another city, another opportunity. Jade didn’t do long distance. Tori had taught her that. And it had become a hard and fast relationship rule in her adult life.

This was only three weeks, though. A clear-cut time apart, with all possible technology to keep them connected. And this time, Jade would be the one on set all day, Jade would be the one whose schedule would take precedent.

Tori was right. It was manageable. Jade _knew_ it was. But she was still freaking out about it a little. Which was probably why one of Tori’s hands moved up to gently touch her face, “We’re going to manage this just fine,” she told Jade with the utmost confidence. “And if things start to get bad, I’ll be out there in like six hours.”

Jade smiled. Because she was certain Tori would, if it came down to it. Even though she also knew she’d never ask it of her--because, really, she was going to be _fine_ \--it was a relief to realize that they were old enough now, and financially secure enough, that this was a possibility. One that hadn’t existed when Jade was a broke college student and Tori had no free time of her own. “I would actually love to show you the city someday,” Jade replied.

“I’d like that, too,” Tori grinned, nuzzling her neck.

“But I won’t make you come out during those three weeks,” Jade assured her. Tori had her own life here, and even though Jade was sure she’d find a way to come out there, she wasn’t going to ask Tori to mess up her own routine that way. “We’ll take a trip together in the future.”

“We have time,” Tori repeated. And Jade knew she was right. They hadn’t even been back together for a full week yet. So Jade allowed herself to stop worrying about New York. She still didn’t love it, but at least talking about it had taken some of the anxiety out of her.

Instead, she pulled Tori on her lap and let the connection of their bodies reassure them both.

Somehow, after sex in Jade’s living room, Tori remembered that they were supposed to go to Cat’s haunted house at the theater that evening. Which Jade was grateful for, because when Tori was finished with her, she could barely remember where she was or that it was Saturday.

-

They had a quick dinner and then headed over to the Santa Monica Community Theater for the haunted house attraction. Cat had assured them that what they were supposed to do was very simple, and they arrived an hour early so that they could make sure they were ready.

Cat let them into the back entrance to the theater. She was wearing a spider costume, complete with additional arms that moved in tandem with hers, while Sam was dressed like a stagehand, in all black with her hair pulled back. Cat hugged them both, extra arms flopping against them, “Hi! Thank you for coming to help!”

“Well, you promised me a chance to scare children, so you knew I’d be here,” Jade quipped, bumping Sam with her elbow in greeting.

“So, what do you need us to do?” Tori asked.

“Well, I wanted Jade to do the final jump-scare, since she has such good timing,” Cat started, “And I want Tori to lead groups through the haunted house as a guide! See?” Cat held out a flyer that included an image of Tori’s headshot and the words _Featuring Tori Vega from Whisper Creek_.

“Wait,” Tori snatched the flyer, “I didn’t know you were advertising me being here!”

Sam shot Cat a look, “I thought you said you asked her.”

“I did!” Cat protested.

“Cat, you asked me if it was okay that you told people I was on _Whisper Creek_!” Tori exclaimed.

“Well, that’s what it says on the flyer, isn’t it?” Cat asked with a sly smile.

“ _Cat_!” Sam scolded through her laughter.

“It’s fine,” Tori decided. “I mean, you’re trying to raise money for the theater company, right? I’m okay with being associated with that.”

“Good! Because some people are really excited,” Cat smirked.

“Anyway, Jade, I’ll show you what to do for the scare, then Cat can take you through wardrobe,” Sam drew her away. Jade squeezed Tori’s hand before following, leaving Tori alone with Cat.

“Let’s get you into costume!” Cat said excitedly, “I think we can mix up the things you wear throughout the week if that’s okay with you. I’m excited to wear a different spooky costume every night! But for you, mostly we just want you to dress kind of formal. You know, like you might actually be giving tours of an old house. But we can vary your look, if you want!”

“Should I wear my contacts next time?” Tori adjusted her glasses on her face.

Cat shrugged, “If you want. But _Whisper Creek_ fans might recognize you better in those,” she grinned.

“I still can’t believe you put that on the flyers.”

“You’re not mad, are you?” At this, Cat actually sounded kind of contrite instead of cheeky as she had for the past few minutes.

Tori laughed, “I’m really not. Just wasn’t expecting it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been _Whisper Creek_ Tori Vega.”

“Next time I’ll put that The Pleasure Professor will be here,” Cat smirked, “Or--”

“No, trust me, _Whisper Creek_ Tori Vega is fine,” Tori said quickly.

There was a formal, old-fashioned dress that Cat helped her get into and then Cat walked her through the general layout of the haunted house, letting her know what to expect when. She was being permitted to sort of improvise anything she wanted to say along the tour, generally encouraged to distract tour groups with objects and decorations so that they were focused elsewhere when a performer popped out to scare them. But there wasn’t a set script or anything. Tori thought this would be fun. She was sure as she walked through the house repeatedly that she’d start to formulate her own script, figuring out the best ways to coordinate with the actors to get the best scares out of people.

Quickly, it was time for the haunted house to begin. People were already waiting outside, and Cat allowed groups of about eight people to come in at a time. Then she would give a clearly scripted introduction, introducing herself, and Tori, and the theater company itself, thanking everyone for coming out to support art and the theater.

And then, Tori would begin to guide the groups through the haunted house. The first few scares made people jump and giggle and huddle close together. Tori was expecting them, and didn’t react much, instead watching her guests experience it and miming getting flustered that the house was so wild. But the last jumpscare was different.

Tori _knew_ it was coming. She expected it. She knew that she would guide the group down a long, dark hallway, with LED candles in sconces on the wall, with paintings and faux statuary on display, and at the end of the hallway, Jade was supposed to jump out and scare everyone.

Tori _knew_ Jade was going to pop out. But she still screamed and pressed her hand to her chest when it happened.

It seemed like her reaction only amplified the reaction of the group with her, who all screamed louder than they had all night and grabbed onto each other. Or maybe Jade herself was just that good.

When they exited the hallway and made it outside, where the haunted house tour officially ended, the group was still laughing and jittery over the final scare, and Tori still had her hand over her heart. They all thanked her for the tour, one woman commented mildly that she’d enjoyed _Whisper Creek_ , and Tori circled back around to the front to do it all again.

And each time, Jade _scared_ her.

In the middle of everything, Cat pulled her aside, “Sam told me to watch the final jumpscare. It’s brilliant! You finally getting scared really makes it a great ending for everyone!”

“I’m not doing it on purpose!” Tori hissed back, “Jade is _actually_ really scaring me!”

Cat stifled laughter, “Wait, _really_?”

“ _Yes_!” Tori groaned.

Cat looked concerned, “Tori, you _know_ she’s going to jump out, I--”

“I _know_! I don’t know why but she scares me every time,” Tori deflated.

“Well, keep doing it,” Cat shrugged, “Because it’s _working_! We’re getting great reviews on our SantaMonicaFrightHouse hashtag!”

Tori kept doing it. Because Jade kept scaring her.

After closing down the theater for the evening, Cat invited them over to the apartment for coffee and pie to celebrate the successful end to the first night of the haunted house. Which made Sam whip her head toward her and ask, “We have _pie_?!” So Tori was at least confident that there actually was dessert.

They gathered in the living room and relaxed as Cat brewed coffee--regular, since Tori was the only one who voted for decaf. But it was Saturday night. She could be up a little late, and she had a good, strong indica at home that she could use to help her fall asleep.

Speaking of, Sam, the polite hostess, offered to smoke with Tori and Jade. Jade had driven, so she declined, but she came outside with them anyway. Cat stood in the doorway to their patio area to be included as the coffee brewed and the pie warmed up in the oven.

“Here, take greens,” Sam offered her the first hit off of a beautiful, precisely rolled joint.

Tori held it, turning it in her hand. “This is...can you teach my mom to roll like this? She’s supposed to be the professional. Damn.” Sam laughed and Tori sniffed the weed, offering it to Jade to sniff as well, before she lit it and took a slow drag, nodding in satisfaction as she passed it back to Sam.

“So, it all seemed to go well tonight,” Jade commented, though she was also probably seeking feedback.

Sam nodded, passing to Tori as she let her smoke out of the corner of her mouth. “Yeah, I really think it did,” she agreed, “You guys really nailed the finale,” she gestured between the two of them.

Jade shot Tori a smile, “We do play off each other rather well,” she commented.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam rolled her eyes, accepting the joint from Tori. She shot Cat an amused glance as she took her hit.

Jade looked at Tori, “Good choice on that, by the way,” Jade told her, sounding very much like a director in the moment, “Sam said you don’t react as much to the other jumpscares, so that makes the last one more impactful.”

Maybe if Tori wasn’t in the middle of taking a hit, she could have responded and breezed past this. But instead, Cat chirped up, “Oh, Tori isn’t acting. You’re actually scaring her.”

Tori blew out her hit in frustration. Jade looked surprised, and Sam was already laughing. “No way,” Sam managed.

“Seriously?” Jade said, a smile creeping onto her face, “But you _know_ it’s coming!”

“I _know_ I know it’s coming!” Tori snapped, “You just...I don’t know! You always scare me!”

Jade and Sam shared a _highly_ amused glance, and Tori gazed miserably at Cat, who looked utterly delighted. But then she appeared to take pity on Tori, because she veered them away to another topic, “So, how’s it feel to be back together?” she asked Tori and Jade, her voice lilting playfully.

“Amazing,” Tori said at the same moment Jade said, “Incredible.” They looked at each other. Jade was wearing a sappy sort of grin and Tori was certain she, herself, looked goofy.

“Gross,” Sam commented, but affectionately.

“Aw, no, they’re cute,” Cat replied.

“Trina doesn’t think so,” Sam chuckled. She held up the joint, “You want any more?” she asked Tori.

“I’m good,” Tori shook her head, and Sam carefully put out the joint in an ashtray on the table outside, “Wait, what did my sister say to you?”

Sam shrugged, “She’s just being Trina. Mostly freaking out worried about you two. I tried to tell her it was bound to happen, but--”

“Wait, _bound to happen_?” Jade interrupted this time as they followed Cat back into the house. “Hold on, were there _bets_ about this?”

“Why would there be bets?” Cat asked, maybe a little too innocently.

“Because you guys bet on everything _else_ about us,” Jade grumped.

“ _If_ there were bets,” Sam said carefully, “I may have abstained. I’m too close to it for it to be fair.”

“ _If_ ,” Jade muttered disdainfully.

“What about that one bet?” Cat asked.

“Oh yeah,” Sam smirked, “I guess I did win that one.”

“Which one?” Tori wanted to know.

“Oh, after the reunion there might’ve been a wager. Of how long it would take for you guys to get back together. Some people thought it would only take a month,” Sam shook her head, “But I went for, longer than a month but before the end of the year.”

“I abstained,” Cat smiled, “Because I already bet over whether you would have sex at the reunion and I’m only allowed one wager a year. Now sit down, I’ll bring you all some coffee and pie.”

-

As Cat served them, they sat around the living room together talking about more highlights of the haunted house, all of them checking the hashtag on Spectrogram as more updates came in. Jade kept all her social media apps organized in the same folder on her phone and seeing the scissHER icon reminded her that she needed to ask Sam about the Cat-fish situation. Earlier that week, Sam had asked for some information so she could have her friend Freddie work what she called "internet computer nerd magic."

"Hey, any word from Freddie?" Jade asked, once a break came in the conversation.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "He said...hold on, it was a bunch of nerd language, I gotta look at it," she said, tapping her screen until she pulled up a text message. "Uh, he says 'the cellular IP addresses associated with the Denise J. account are geographically tied to Los Angeles.' And then when I asked him what the hell that means, he said, 'First of all, you're welcome. And it means their phone is connecting to signals that are definitely local to you.'"

"So this person could meet, they're just avoiding an in-person interaction," Jade said.

Sam tightened her arm around Cat, who was now cuddled up to her on the couch. "Because they're using Cat's face."

"What if you could get them to agree to meet?" Tori asked.

"How?" Jade questioned.

"I don't know, yet," Tori admitted with a stony shrug. "But if you did, they'd be assuming you were looking for Cat."

Sam nodded thoughtfully, "Maybe they'd still show up, thinking they were, uh...what's that thing?” she groped for words that eluded her stoned mind, “It's like...mysterious mosquito?"

"Incognito," offered Cat.

Jade had noticed this more, lately, that on top of Cat's lucidity, she seemed...smarter wasn't a fair description, but it certainly seemed like she had an easier time finding words.

"Yeah, that," confirmed Sam.

Cat nuzzled Sam's shoulder. "But now I want to know what Mysterious Mosquito looks like."

Sam shrugged. "Easy, he has a little fedora and a trench coat."

"And he hides behind a newspaper!" Cat added, clearly delighted by the image that had been conjured up.

"I kind of enlisted the help of a friend on the app, too." After her initial conversation with Astra after getting back together with Tori, they'd engaged in a lengthy text thread about Jade's Cat-fish. At first, Jade was really just curious to find out if Astra had ever interacted with her (she hadn't), but then it developed into a plan to have Astra try and initiate a conversation, just to see if Denise J. would agree to meet with her. "She's been talking to _‘Denise’_ a little, but not much else has come out of it."

Sam looked interested, “Well, she was trying to meet up with you right away, wasn’t she? Then maybe that means you’re her target if she’s not doing the same thing to your friend.”

“But why would she use a picture of me to get to Jade?” Cat frowned.

“Okay, but I messaged her first,” Jade recalled, raising her eyebrows at Sam, “Because _you’re_ the one who decided to send her a message requesting a meeting right away. So who knows if she’s targeting me or not?”

“Well, we’ve got to crack this, because you’re not going to have a scissHER for much longer,” Sam said.

“I got rid of mine,” Tori disclosed, sounding slightly wistful, “End of an era, I guess.”

Jade was trying to find a way to poke fun at Tori for that, but at the same time, she understood the huge change something like this represented to Tori, who’d been meeting people through this app since she was in Canada. Instead, it was Sam who shook her head, “You monogamist types are so weird.”

Cat looked affronted, “Hey, _I’m_ monogamous,” she said.

“Yeah,” Sam confirmed, “And you’re weird, too.” But that was punctuated by a kiss to the side of Cat’s head, which made her giggle, placating her.

“Well, I’ll keep leaning on the Cat-fish,” Jade said, “Maybe I can get her to agree to meet and we can enact Phase Two.”

“Once we figure out what that actually is,” Tori laughed. They’d pitched ideas, but it all kind of depended on what they could do that might actually get the Cat-fish to show up somewhere.

She and Tori headed home not long after that, and in spite of Tori being concerned about the cup of coffee she’d had at Sam and Cat’s, they fell asleep at a completely reasonable hour. In bed, though, Jade was thinking about two things: one, she needed to finish _Whisper Creek_ , and two, the fact that she kept scaring Tori was _hilarious_ and she felt oddly thrilled by it.

The next day was Sunday, but since they already had plans to grab some dinner with Sam and Cat before the haunted house that evening, she and Tori weren’t doing an official Sunday dinner. Instead, Jade suggested they watch the _Whisper Creek_ movie after lunch. She’d finished the second season a few weeks ago but hadn’t had a chance to tackle the movie finale.

“I barely remember what happened in the series,” Tori said as they sat down to watch.

“You probably remember enough,” Jade encouraged. Tori still looked highly skeptical as she selected _Whisper Creek_ on her Webflix menu.

It turned out, though, that Tori was right. She _really_ didn’t remember much about the show beyond some of her own character’s arc.

Jade reached for the remote to pause the movie for the third time. “Tori, I swear to god,” she mumbled.

“I’m sorry! I don’t remember Shawn’s character name or what happened to him! Our characters didn’t interact much after season one.”

“Okay, well, I’m assuming that by _Shawn_ you mean Reid Langley, and he was a thrall of Zoltan for a while, which is why Marti hasn’t seen him,” Jade started, then took a breath. “Okay, why don’t we look at a plot synopsis for the first two seasons so that you stop asking me all these questions!”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Tori admitted, grabbing her PearPhone. She eyed Jade momentarily, “I watched most of season one,” she admitted, “But I only watched a little bit of season two, and I never saw the movie. It was always weird, seeing myself.”

Jade hadn’t thought much about it, but it made sense. Enough of Tori’s life was taken up by the show, she didn’t need to spend time with it on her off-hours. Tori as an actor was different from Jade as a director, who needed to watch her work repeatedly to perfect it. Tori probably only needed to see enough to feel confident in her character choices, which would already be addressed with her by directors, anyway.

Jade made her read it aloud and added her own details for the sake of clarity (and better storytelling, since the synopsis wasn’t all that concerned about that). When they restarted the movie, Tori was better able to follow along. And she stopped asking questions. _Good_. It meant Jade was finally able to get completely absorbed in the movie. She barely noticed she had stopped snuggling close to Tori and was literally sitting on the edge of the couch, watching raptly.

It was _so_ fast-paced that Jade felt like half the movie was just her getting whiplash, trying to follow scenes and even time jumps. It maybe felt a little rushed, but it was also entertaining and wild. And when the reunion scene between Marti and Nora finally came, Jade was fully immersed in it. And when the two characters found their way to safety amidst the chaos of everything else around them and _finally_ shared the kiss Jade had been hoping for since like episode three...it was gratifying enough that she was able to forget she was looking at Tori and her former fuckbuddy Addison Cole. _Almost_.

She slumped back against the couch when their romantic scene concluded, to see Tori half hiding her face in embarrassment. “Yikes,” Tori murmured.

“What do you mean, _yikes_?” Jade asked, “That was…” she shook her head, because the movie was continuing, and her attention was drawn back to the screen.

When it was over, Jade felt like she had to sit with it for a moment. _So much_ had happened. She felt like she was coming down off of an edible or something as she let everything settle.

“Damn,” Jade finally said, “I guess that was one way to end a series.”

“At least it got _some_ kind of conclusive ending,” Tori agreed.

Jade nodded, everything still sinking in. “I think...yeah, okay. I _really_ like it. Like it was kind of a lot, and I wish they’d been able to do a full season instead, to flesh out a lot of what we got to see. But _goddamn_. _Whisper Creek_ is a great show.”

“I’m really glad you think so,” Tori replied, smiling softly.

Jade thought about how, for so long, the show had represented the demise of their relationship, in her mind. How when she’d started rewatching, it had been because she and Tori had agreed to be friends. But now that they were back together, what the show represented came flooding back to Jade again, especially with her work in New York on the horizon, when they were only a week into their official reconnection as girlfriends (maybe partners was a better term at this point in their lives, given that they were already basically cohabiting and building off of years together, even if it was a long time ago).

But it also just highlighted how different things were this time around. They had an end goal. They had a plan. And weirdly, finishing _Whisper Creek_ and fully giving into her love of the show--and even her joy over the NerdWolf pairing--made Jade feel a lot better.

Another thing that improved her mood: she brought one of her discreet, small GoPro cameras to the haunted house that evening and got a lot of footage of Tori getting scared.

Jade had a specific plan for it, so she didn’t tell anyone but Sam that she was capturing this on video.

-

It was fun to have something different to look forward to in the evenings. While she'd been honest (with both herself and those who knew her) in declaring that her current occupation fulfilled her desire to perform, there was something special about the kind of campy, over the top character she was playing as she led groups through the haunted house. It reminded her a lot of the types of productions she'd participated in at Hollywood Arts, especially doing it all alongside Jade and Cat.

There was another thing that reminded her of high school.

It started with a text from Andre.

**OMG that video is so hilarious!**

😱😱😱

Tori honestly had no idea what he was talking about.

**What video?**

The next reply was a SplashFace link.

**Tori Vega of Whisper Creek Screaming at Jumpscare**

She recognized the location from the thumbnail. It was footage from inside the Fright House. Even as she hit play, she had a pretty good idea of what she was about to see. And, yep, it was about a half dozen strung together moments of her screaming at the top of her lungs every time Jade jumped out and scared her. Immediately, she clicked on the username, **24FPSjunkie**. The other videos were of random things around the city, interesting angles on abandoned furniture, people milling around busy areas, cut to lo-fi music. Exactly the kind of tonal and thematic stuff Jade liked to put together.

**You could have at least told me you were putting this out there**

Tori included the video link in her text to Jade. She was about to leave her office when the message had come through, so she wondered if Jade would be home when she got there. As she checked her phone on her way out to the car, she could see the three dots of Jade's impending reply, but they kept starting and stopping. Finally, one came through.

**Should I take it down?**

That was the first thing Jade sent? An offer to remove it? No reporting of how hilarious it was? No announcement of the number of hits?

She began to start a reply, just to say she'd be home soon, when another message popped through.

**(It has over 5k hits already)**

There it was.

**I'll be home in like ten minutes**

**figure out what we're ordering for dinner**

**because you're buying**

When Tori pulled in front of the house, there still wasn't a reply from Jade, but her massive truck was in the driveway. She walked around through the yard gate, seeing Jade through the window of the guest house, and knocked on the door.

"Come in," called Jade's voice. She was sitting at her kitchen island, apparently reviewing video footage on her laptop.

"Is that another viral video of me being terrorized?" Tori asked, though she could tell it was obviously something else.

"I'll take it down, if that's what you want." Jade sounded sincere, though a touch reluctant.

Tori shook her head. "No...it's...funny," she admitted. "Just, will you please promise to give me a head's up when you plan to digitally embarrass me on the internet?"

"That's kinda antithetical to the purpose of embarrassing you, but..." Jade bobbed her head back and forth, as if considering. "Yeah, of course. I should have done that this time." She turned her barstool so she was facing Tori, then reached for her.

Tori stepped forward and allowed Jade's arms to loop around her hips as she pulled her close. "I heard about it from Andre, I guess after you sent the link to him."

"Wait, I didn't send it to Andre. I only sent it to Sam and Cat."

Huh. "Then Andre must've gotten it from Cat."

Jade kept one arm around Tori as she single-handedly tapped something into the search bar. The results were a few write ups about the video, all of them using the hashtag SantaMonicaFrightHouse and a few of them using variations of her name, Marti Chavez, and _Whisper Creek_. "Or it's because of this," she said.

"It's probably great press for the theater," Tori admitted. Then she found herself saying, "You should make one for each night this week. Like leading up to the final Halloween night."

Jade chuckled and pulled Tori in even closer, wrapping her legs around her and pressing a kiss to her neck. "It figures that you'd go from 'why would you do this' to 'we should do this every single night' in like three minutes."

"I can recognize a great marketing opportunity, even at my own expense," Tori grinned.

"At least I shot from above to give you a flattering angle," Jade pointed out.

"Yeah, I'm sure that was foremost on your mind when you set up a secret camera to capture my sheer terror of you scaring the chiz out of me, ten times a night."

"You're right. I set it up knowing any angle of you would be flattering because you're so--"

Tori shut her up with a kiss.

The next day was Tuesday and she and Jade were both home in the afternoon, with plenty of time for Tori to at least cook something decent for dinner before they headed over to the Fright House that evening. Jade was actually working on something on her laptop, mostly preparations for her imminent trip to New York, but set herself up at Tori’s dining room table to do it after Tori pouted about liking her to be around while she was cooking. Sure, it was kind of dumb, but Jade clearly didn’t disagree about the fact that they really liked being around each other whenever possible, because she stayed, shooting smirks at Tori from her seat every once in awhile.

As Tori stood at the stove, though, Jade said, “I need to make a call.”

“Okay,” Tori said, “I won’t bother you.”

Jade directed a fond smile at her and then held her phone up to her ear. Moments later, Tori could hear her talking to someone, it sounded like it was maybe about logistics regarding a filming schedule. There wasn’t enough information from only Jade’s side of the conversation for Tori to really follow it, so she mostly tuned it out, save for enjoying the way Jade sounded professional and authoritative on the phone, tapping away on her keyboard at Tori’s dining room table. Tori pulled out a large saucepan and brought it up onto the stove, ready to saute some vegetables to start the next part of meal preparation, and she rummaged through her utensil drawer for a garlic masher.

She had oil warming in the pan when her phone buzzed with an incoming video call from Patrice. Well, she was expecting this call _sometime_ this afternoon, and now was as good a time as any, she supposed. She slipped her bluetooth earbuds in and accepted the call, propping her phone up against her utensil crock. “Hi, Patrice!” she greeted, “Good to see you’re back in town.”

“I am,” Patrice grinned, “It’s nice to be back, if only for a week or so. What are you up to?”

“Oh, I’m cooking, Jade is over there working,” Tori gestured off-camera toward the dining room table. She glanced over to see that Jade was getting up, still on the phone, hand pressed against her other ear, still speaking intensely. Tori added her onion and garlic to her pan and heard them sizzle deliciously, then spread them out, wooden spoon scraping the bottom of the pan.

“Things are going well, I assume,” Patrice sent her a delighted smile, “Wink twice if you can’t speak freely,” she joked.

“Things are _great_ ,” Tori shot her a mock glare. She glanced over at Jade, but she was moving away from the dining room table, heading down the hall toward the back of the house. Maybe it was harder to hear on her phone since she wasn’t using earbuds. Tori turned back to her phone, “Pretty sure you meeting with her did us both some good,” she added lightly, just to push back at Patrice a little.

“Glad to hear it,” Patrice was characteristically unmoved by Tori’s cheekiness.

“What are your plans while you’re in town?” Tori asked.

“Well, spending some quality time with Janet, for sure,” Patrice glanced to the side with an affection smile, which told Tori that Janet was nearby. She’d figured as much, but Janet hadn’t given any indication that she was there.

“Hi, Janet!” Tori called anyway.

Janet stepped behind Patrice, leaning over to give a wave, “Hi, Tori. I was glad to hear about you and Jade. Guess you guys finally talked, huh?”

“You could say that,” Tori replied slyly, which made Janet and Patrice exchange amused but slightly exasperated looks. “No, really, we did. Just turned out there wasn’t that much to say that our bodies couldn’t say better. And we’re still talking now, Patrice,” she said before she could be called out for anything.

“Jade said as much,” Patrice disclosed.

Tori’s eyes drifted over to the countertop where Jade had lifted her up and then fingered her slowly, blushing at the perversity of it all. Her eyes strayed to her boiling pasta. “Uh, hold on,” she said, “My pasta might be ready.” She lifted a noodle out with her slotted spoon, tasted it, then nodded, “Just a second,” she said, turning to pour the water and noodles out into the strainer in the sink behind her.

When she turned back around, Janet was off-screen, but Patrice was still there. Tori moved around the veggies in her saucepan. “What else is going on with you?” she asked Patrice.

At that moment, Jade came down the hall. Tori grinned at the sight of her, but Jade’s face was serious. “Tori,” she said firmly, “You are being _so. Loud_.”

Tori was surprised, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m trying to take this call and you’re just--” Jade stopped and started drumming her hands on the other side of the kitchen island, moving things around, and generally making a ruckus with whatever was in her reach, “And then, _Hello? Hi Patrice! Oh nothing!_ ” Jade launched into her uncanny impersonation, but at like double the volume that Tori thought was fair.

Tori could hear Patrice snickering in her ears, but she ignored her, “I’m sorry?” she offered Jade.

“I love you,” Jade said, expression finally softening into amusement, “But you are _loud_.” She came around the counter and pressed a kiss to Tori’s cheek. “I have to make another call and I’m going to do that in the guest house. I’ll be back in a minute.” She turned and looked at Tori’s phone, “Hi, Patrice,” she waved, then headed for the patio door, “I love you!” she called one more time as she left.

“Jeez,” Tori muttered, turning her attention back to Patrice, “I don’t know what _that_ was about.”

“Me neither,” Patrice agreed, “I didn’t think you were being loud.”

From off camera, Tori heard Janet’s voice, “Are you _kidding_ me?” Patrice looked over in surprise, and then Janet was in the frame with her. “Tori. Have you heard me once since you got on the phone with Patrice?”

“Not until you said something to me, no,” Tori admitted.

“ _Exactly_ ,” Janet raised her eyebrows, “Because subs like me know how to _be quiet_. And tops like you and Patrice,” she cast a long-suffering glance to the woman next to her, “are used to having _everyone’s attention_ , so you’ve never had to modulate your sound. You just--” She stood up and started stomp-dancing around the room, “Take over spaces!”

Patrice’s eyes were wide, and Tori thought she probably looked about the same. “That’s...well. That tracks,” Tori admitted, thinking of even the way she _walked_ in her boots as Mistress Tawny, how her footfalls _themselves_ held power and meaning to some of her clients.

“It does,” Patrice admitted.

“Hah!” Janet called, already offscreen again.

She and Patrice stared at each other for a long moment, both chagrined and amused, and finally Tori said, “So, do you have any other _loud, toppy plans_ for while you’re home?”

“I might be thinking of some now,” Patrice replied, casting a dangerous look over to where Tori knew Janet was. But then Patrice began to tell her about her plans for the rest of the week and then which college she’d be traveling to next. With Tori’s evenings booked with the haunted house, she wasn’t sure they’d actually have a chance to meet up while Patrice was in town. But then Patrice suggested she might show up to the haunted house, which led to Tori telling her about Jade’s video and the way all the hashtags were blowing up. Which then prompted some teasing about how Tori even got _scared_ like a loud top, so that by the time Tori had finished making dinner, the two of them were fully laughing at themselves.

Tori hung up just as Jade was coming back in through the patio door. “You’re just in time,” Tori told her with a smile.

“I’m glad, because I’m really hungry,” Jade’s eyes were on the saucepan on the stove, “I’m sorry if...I know I got intense for a minute there, but _Tori_ …”

Tori laughed, “It’s okay. After you left, Janet called Patrice and I out for being ‘loud tops’ and it kind of actually made my night.”

Jade gave her a skeptical look, “You being loud while I’m trying to be on the phone is a _top_ thing?” she asked incredulously.

“I didn’t know I was being loud! I felt like I was being very normal.” Jade snorted disbelievingly. “And it’s not a thing I’m doing intentionally, but...Janet pointed out that tops are pretty used to having people’s attention so...I guess maybe we’re not aware of the sound we’re making.”

“Well, now I know to take all my important calls in the guest house since I live with a _loud as fuck dominatrix_ ,” Jade teased.

“Please, you like when I’m loud,” Tori purred, teasing right back.

“And my camera loves it when you _scream_ loudly,” Jade smirked, which made Tori deflate a little. But she supposed she’d earned that.

Tori narrowed her eyes. She’d been the one to suggest filming her every night, and the video Jade had posted today was continuing to raise the popularity of all the relevant hashtags, but now she was feeling a little combative, “What if I figure out how to _not_ react?”

Jade raised her eyebrows, “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe,” Tori said, though really, she didn’t know _how_ she would avoid getting scared.

Late Wednesday morning, she and Jade went to Static Roasters to meet with Astra. It was planned, in that Jade and Astra had been talking about meeting up, because Tori was definitely encouraging this friendship connection for Jade. They’d made an effort to select a time that worked with Tori’s schedule, since she didn’t happen to have anything going on until the afternoon on Wednesday. Tori would have been fine with them meeting up alone, at least, she was _pretty sure_ she would be, but she was grateful to be included, because she _was_ curious about the woman Jade had gone on one good date with.

So. Late morning coffee. After sharing a pot of Chemex because getting Jade out of the house, even if it was to _get_ coffee, required two cups. At least. They took Tori’s car because street parking around Static could be a little wild and Tori could park in front of Moustache Media without any issues and they could just cross the street to the coffee roastery.

When they entered the coffee shop, Jade scanned the tables and booths until her face split into a smile and she lifted her hand in greeting. Tori caught a glimpse of the woman before Jade stepped ahead of her to lead the way to Astra’s chosen booth.

And... _fuck_ , okay. Astra was _gorgeous_. There was a pang in Tori’s chest, of something like jealousy. Unwarranted, but present.

She stepped forward to keep pace with Jade, putting on a winning smile, willing any semblance of jealousy away.

Because of this, she noticed the moment that Astra’s eyes shifted from Jade over to her, and she saw the way Astra’s smile faded slowly, her eyes widened, and her jaw went a little slack.

“Hey, Astra,” Jade greeted, “So this is--”

“Wait a minute, _holy shit_ ,” Astra interrupted, gaze shifting from Tori back to Jade, “Your _girlfriend_ that you got back together with is _Tori Vega_?!”

“Uhh,” Jade turned to gaze at Tori, expression awed, but slowly turning amused, “Yes?”

“Hi,” Tori waved awkwardly, “It’s nice to meet you, Astra.” She offered her hand.

Astra took it, seeming to shake herself off. “Damn, I’m so sorry. It’s really nice to meet you, I didn’t mean to go all...listen, I was hardcore NerdWolf _trash_ in college, so, excuse my fangirling.”

“That’s okay--” Tori started trying to reassure the woman.

“I just finished watching _Whisper Creek_ the other night,” Jade put in.

“Wait, first time watching it?” Astra’s attention was back on Jade.

“Yeah! Tori and I watched the movie. She hadn’t rewatched any of it but I’d just watched both seasons recently. Holy shit.”

“It’s _so good_ , right?” Astra gushed.

“It _really_ is!” Jade replied eagerly.

“I’m...gonna get our coffees,” Tori said slowly as Jade sat down across from Astra, leaning in eagerly to begin dissecting Tori’s old television show. “You want Costa Rican pour-over?” she asked Jade.

“You know me so well,” Jade grinned back, reaching to grab her hand briefly before turning her attention back to Astra.

As Tori stepped in line to order their coffees, she took a moment to quietly observe Astra and Jade talking. Even from the sidelines, she could see why it had been a good date for Jade. Not just because Astra was attractive, which, _okay_ , Tori wasn’t quite over that detail yet. But also because of the way they were talking together, the level of comfort they had just chatting about media they enjoyed. Tori watched them discreetly as the barista made the two pour-over drinks she’d ordered, and had a slow realization of just how close she had been to losing Jade again.

If Tori hadn’t finally told Jade how she felt, the day after this date with Astra...she might never have had another chance.

She put that out of her mind as she collected the two coffees and moved to the booth, one sugar packet for Jade in case it was a day she felt like her pour-over needed some sugar (most of what came from Static was naturally sweet enough on its own that Jade didn’t always deem it necessary). Astra and Jade were gushing about...the NerdWolf kiss. Of course.

Astra trailed off from what she was saying as Tori sat back down and passed a cup to Jade. “Oh, um. Sorry. This might be awkward.”

Tori shrugged, “It’s not, really.” She knew Astra probably thought she and Addison used to _actually_ date and Tori wasn’t about to go into all of _that_.

Astra watched her with interest again. “We’ve met before,” she disclosed suddenly.

Jade sat up straighter, “You have?”

Tori had a feeling she knew what Jade was thinking, but she was also pretty certain that this wasn’t a Chandra situation, and that Astra had never met Mistress Tawny. She placed her hand on Jade’s thigh placatingly under the table. “Have we?” she asked.

Astra nodded, pulling out her PearPhone. “Give me a second,” she mumbled, fingers swiping along.

Tori watched as Jade took a sip of her coffee, assessing it, and then adding a sugar packet. She grinned, and Jade caught her eye, grinning back. And though, really, Tori didn’t have any real concerns about the way Astra and Jade were connecting, there was a lot of reassurance in just the way Jade looked at her, the depth of expressiveness in those deep blue eyes.

“Here it is,” Astra said, and she held out her phone.

And there was a picture of a much-younger Astra, sandwiched between Tori and Addison. She recognized it as one of the promotional events she’d blundered through after the breakup, something similar to ComicCon but on a smaller scale. “Wow,” Tori commented, not knowing what else to say.

“Told you I was NerdWolf trash,” Astra laughed lightly.

“No kidding,” Jade smirked.

“So what do you do, Astra?” Tori asked.

“Oh, I own a dispensary,” Astra replied.

“Really?” Tori said with interest. She glanced at Jade, and it seemed that this wasn’t something that had come up during their date. “Do you know of Holly’s Herbal Remedies?”

“Oh, yeah!” Astra sat up straighter. “She definitely makes some of the best edibles in the business. Incredible flavor, really carefully dosed.”

“That’s my mom,” Tori revealed.

“Really?” Astra grinned widely, “She’s really good people. I’m stoked about _Weed Wars_. They definitely filmed me and my shop for one of the episodes.”

“I love that it focuses on female cannabis enthusiasts,” Tori gushed.

“Right?” Astra agreed. “So what about you, what are you working on these days, Tori?” she asked, expression open and interested.

Tori was grateful for the way she’d phrased it, not, _Are you going to be in something soon?_ or those similar sorts of questions that set Tori’s teeth on edge. “Well, I produce online content for a media company, I’m a sex educator, and I’m a professional dominatrix.”

Astra’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow. That’s awesome!” As surprised as she clearly was, she took it in stride.

Tori decided she liked her.

“So how does that fit in with the screaming supercut videos that have been dropping lately?” Astra asked.

Jade laughed, though she tried to suppress it. Tori groaned, but playfully, and explained, “We’re helping a friend’s theater company with their haunted house fundraiser, and Jade scares me _every time_. So she started recording it.”

“What can I say? The camera still loves Tori,” Jade teased.

Astra looked between them, expression amused and fascinated, “So it’s your account?” she confirmed with Jade, who nodded. Astra nodded along, “Of course it is. You have such a unique eye.”

It was Tori’s turn to shoot a playful smile toward Jade, who scoffed lightly at the praise. “It’s getting great press for the theater, and that’s what’s important to both of us,” Jade deflected.

“It’s also really blowing up all the hashtags. NerdWolf fandom is out in full force for this,” Astra disclosed. “You should probably expect some superfans to start showing up. If they haven’t already.”

“They have been, a little bit,” Tori admitted. She’d had a few more instances of people wanting autographs or to take pictures with her after going through the haunted house. Mostly, people were conscientious of the fact that she had to get back inside to lead another group through and were polite, so Tori didn’t mind.

There was a lull as they all sipped their coffees, and then Astra changed the subject, “Any luck on exposing the catfish, Jade?”

Jade shook her head, “No, but my friend Sam is trying to plan some sort of sting. Have you learned anything else from talking to her?”

Astra shook her head, “Not really. She doesn’t say a whole lot, and she certainly hasn’t offered to meet me.”

“I really wonder if she’s particularly interested in Jade,” Tori mused, gazing at her girlfriend thoughtfully.

“I don’t know,” Jade said reluctantly, “ _Why_ , though?”

“People need a reason to be into you?” Tori teased.

“She could be a fan of your work,” Astra suggested.

“That doesn’t seem likely,” Jade said.

“Why not?” Astra shrugged, “I figured out who you were almost as soon as I saw your profile. At least, I was pretty certain. Seems likely enough to me.”

“Does she ever ask you about movies and stuff?” Tori asked.

“Sometimes, yeah,” Jade admitted, “But that’s also in my profile, so I didn’t think a lot of it. Also, I contacted her first.”

“So?” Tori asked, “Then no wonder she’s focused on you. If director Jade West messaged me on an app…”

“I know the feeling,” Astra chuckled. “But seriously, if we’re trying to get her to show up somewhere, maybe we can pretend it has to do with filmmaking.”

“My next big project is in New York,” Jade disclosed, “But I don’t really think there’s been much press about it yet.”

“Oh, tell me about that,” Astra said immediately.

Tori smiled as she listened to Jade describe her upcoming opportunity to work on the new comedy _Warehouse District_ that was filming its first season. After all of the sturm and drang about Jade leaving, Tori had finally gotten to hear about _what_ she was actually working on. She was proud of Jade and excited for her that one of her connections had recommended her for this job. She was also relieved that Jade was letting _herself_ get excited as well.

But Astra’s hunch had Tori thinking, and she discreetly texted Sam that in their plan to catch the Cat-fish, she had become convinced that Jade _was_ the target, and that the Cat-fish knew exactly who Jade was.

-

On Thursday, Jade swung by the grocery store in the late afternoon, after finishing some work taking headshots. She didn’t need a lot, just enough to get through the next couple of days and to have a few necessities to come home to, but she’d also offered to pick up some things for Tori as well.

While shopping, she pulled out her phone to check her list, trying to remember what brand of pasta Tori preferred, she noticed that she’d received a text from Tori.

**So**

**What’re you doing tonight?**

Uhh. What?

**The haunted house??**

Jade literally didn’t understand what Tori was even asking. Was she okay? Had she even meant to text Jade? Though she didn’t know who else Tori would be talking about plans like this with. For a horrifying moment she wondered if Tori was texting a client, but it was definitely from Tori’s phone number, not Mistress Tawny’s.

And just as she started to consider that distinction, another text came through.

**I meant after the haunted house**

**Around bedtime**

**What are you going to be doing?**

Aaaand then Jade got it. Tori was trying to sext her. She was pretty sure.

She glanced around her. She was standing in the supermarket. There wasn’t really anything sexy about it. Or maybe there was? No one around her would know what she was texting about. There was something slightly thrilling about being surrounded by oblivious people.

**Oh I don’t know**

**Sex?**

**Anything specific you’re thinking about?**

Jade grabbed the pasta and pushed her little cart along slowly, staring at her PearPhone screen, paying just enough attention to ensure she didn’t run into anyone.

**Good sex?**

**As if it’d be anything else**

**That’s true**

God, why were they so bad at this? Hadn’t they done this all the time when Tori went to Canada?

Jade tried again.

**Well now I might be thinking about something**

**Like you on top of me, touching me**

Even sending that much felt ridiculous and not at all sexy.

**I like the sound of that**

The approval in it made Jade feel warm all over. She remembered where she was, though, and started moving along into another aisle. She’d bypassed one entirely by texting with Tori.

She should probably hurry up and finish the shopping.

As she got in line to pay, she had more messages from Tori.

**I like the sound of you, too**

**Like how you sound in bed**

**...never mind 😳**

Jade choked back laughter.

**OMG**

**Okay why are we so bad at this?**

**I don’t know! I thought we figured this out a long time ago**

Jade thought so, too. They’d definitely sent each other sexts during the long-distance portion of their relationship, but especially when Jade was back in school, it was kind of sporadic. She remembered that they did a little better over the phone or on video chat, especially when they were both masturbating. She also remembered sending Tori pictures of her cleavage a lot.

Maybe that was the key.

When Jade got back out to her car, she primped herself a bit, adjusting her shirt to show more cleavage, and sent Tori a selfie along with a text.

**Well, if some inspiration will help you get through your day...**

By the time she got home, she had a reply.

**That’s definitely inspiring...**

Jade went home, put away groceries, and was sitting at her desk working for a while when she heard Tori knock on the guest house door. She turned and called “Come in!”

“Hey,” Tori greeted, holding up a cloth grocery bag. “You want to eat here or outside?” She’d picked up some salads from a restaurant on her way home, since they needed a quick dinner before it was time to head to the theater.

“Outside,” Jade decided, standing up from her desk and walking over to give Tori a kiss. She grabbed a couple of forks out of her utensil drawer and two bottles of water and they set up outside.

“So, I did a little bit of research,” Tori said lightly as they started eating.

“Research into what?” Jade asked before taking a big bite.

“Well, about our...sexting problem,” Tori replied. Jade’s eyebrows rose and she stared at Tori, slightly incredulous. “I looked back on some of our archive chats, like, when we were using PearMail Messenger instead of actually texting.”

That was interesting. Jade was pretty sure she’d deleted all of that from her end, needing to scrub Tori out of her life, thinking it would make things hurt less. It hadn’t. “And?”

“We’ve never been good at it,” Tori said succinctly.

Jade frowned, “That can’t be true. It was all we had for awhile.”

“I mean, we would send messages throughout the day,” Tori said, “And that kept us connected. But I was busy on set a lot, and you had your own thing going on. So if we sent sexy things, it was pretty tame.” She met Jade’s eyes, “I think the video chats were really when things got good.”

Well, that part matched what Jade remembered. She shifted on the picnic table bench. “I guess you’re right. I just thought…” she trailed off. She was certain she remembered the feeling of checking her phone and seeing that Tori had sent her something sexy. But maybe it was more the pictures, or the warmth of the sense of connection between them. Building the anticipation of seeing each other later, when they’d watch each other get off, hundreds of miles spanning between them feeling like much less when their eyes met on computer screens.

Maybe it was just easier to talk rather than type, when they were both already aroused and feeling connected. When they were together, they always seemed to find it much easier to express themselves physically than verbally, and Jade knew that being touched was a large part of what made her feel loved. That could never be accomplished with distance, but at least experiencing sensation together opened the door to intimacy for them in a way just sending words couldn’t.

“At least we remembered what works better for us,” Jade finished her thought. “You know, before I go.”

Tori nodded, eyes focused on Jade in an intense way that made Jade certain that she was plotting something. Maybe what they were going to do tonight, after the haunted house. Jade’s stomach fluttered in anticipation, remembering the scenario she’d suggested. “That’s true. I think we’ll find some ways to actually have some fun with the distance,” Tori said.

 _Fun_ wasn’t really the word Jade would use when she thought about it, but she hoped Tori was right. Besides, as the week drew closer to an end, and Jade’s departure loomed on the horizon, she _was_ starting to get pretty excited about working on a set again, about being able to work with a team to create something really cool.

After they finished the salads, they went to the haunted house, and Jade set up her camera once again to capture footage of Tori getting scared all night long. Tori was off with Cat (who was dressed as a vampire tonight) getting into costume, and Sam approached Jade, carrying Jade’s wardrobe. She watched as Jade tested the camera, turning it on and examining the angle.

“So, uhh,” Sam said, faux casual, “How much do you record with that?”

“What do you mean?” Jade asked.

“Like, you take it home every night, right?”

“Yeah…why?”

Sam glanced over her shoulder, ensuring they were alone. “Because...you know. Cat likes to go through it in the final group every night. She gets all _excited_ from being scared, and then I’m ending up with her in that little pink collar, all over me.” Sam’s lips stretched into a lazy smirk. “Last night we didn’t even make it home. We got everybody out and were gonna check everything and lock up and she just,” she mimed pulling an object out of thin air, “Whipped out that collar. Had no idea she even had it on her, and we did it on the seance table.”

“ _The seance table_?” Jade asked incredulously. But she was also impressed. Cat was bold.

“Yeah,” Sam looked proud of herself. “I mean, I know you wouldn’t have an angle on that, but you’d be able to hear--”

“None of it’s on video, Sam. I took my camera home.”

“Good,” Sam nodded, “Good.”

“You’re disappointed, aren’t you?”

“Only a little. Ready to put this on?” she held out Jade’s costume.

But maybe there was something to the idea of scaring someone to wind them up. Jade had heard that the chemicals fear released were similar to the ones associated with arousal. It hadn’t made much sense to her because horror as a genre had never made her _horny_.

But with the way she’d made Tori scream all night, and then ended up at home with her, on her back with Tori on top of her, Tori’s fingers moving inside of her while she whispered in Jade’s ear about how sexy she sounded when she came (which basically made Jade come all on its own), Jade wondered if it was more than just the newness of their relationship and the prospect of impending long-distance that was driving all the sex they’d been having that week.

On Friday afternoon, they were springing the trap they’d set for the Cat-fish. Tori and Sam had insisted that the Cat-fish was probably interested in Jade’s film career and had convinced Jade to send a message basically claiming that she was looking for talent for a new project and thought the Cat-fish might have the right look for it. Jade didn’t really think anyone would fall for something like this, but she supposed Los Angeles was probably full of people looking for exactly such a big break.

The information from Freddie gave them a vague idea of what parts of town the Cat-fish frequented, so they selected a Jet Brew near that area, so that their target would be more tempted to show up. Jade walked into the coffee shop, and as she got in line to buy a drink, she looked around discreetly.

It was pretty busy, typical for the time of day and the location. But Jade cast her eyes around the room. She spotted Tori and Sam sitting in a booth together, dressed as old fashioned detectives and hunched over coffees and pretending to look at something on a PearPad together, Astra standing by the restrooms as if she were waiting for someone, not in costume but wearing sunglasses and a snapback to make her a little less immediately recognizable from her scissHER profile, and Cat sitting at a little table by herself, wearing cat ears and sipping a hot tea and playing with her phone. But no one else stood out to her, she didn’t see anyone who seemed to be paying her any attention.

As she waited for her double shot Americano, shaking two sugar packets restlessly (the Jet Brew swill would need it), a text from Sam came through.

**  
Freddie says the Cat-fish should be in the area**

**Can’t pinpoint anything but nearby**

  
It was good enough for Jade. She picked up her coffee and headed over to where Cat was sitting. “Denise?” she asked as she approached.

Cat blinked and looked up at her, “Uh, what?” She’d painted black whiskers on her face as well.

“I’m Jade, we were supposed to meet about a potential opportunity, right?” Jade said this kind of loudly, embodying an arrogant executive as well as she could. Trying to carry the idea that _Space_ and _Attention_ were owed to her. It wasn’t all that hard.

“Oh!” Cat said, sitting up straighter, “Oh, yes,” she said, all faux recollection and feigned recognition. “Yes, hi, we were supposed to meet.”

“Great,” Jade said, sitting down across from here. They’d scripted most of this _very_ loosely, in case they ended up having to sit for a while, but Jade killed some time digging around in her messenger bag. “I should have some information here for you. Do you have a headshot for me?”

“Oh, I’ll email it to you,” Cat offered.

“Perfect.” She smiled at Cat, giving her a very deliberate once-over. Cat giggled and ducked her head, dark eyes staring back as she gave a coquettish smile. She’d been Cat’s friend for a long time, but it was still almost enough to fluster her. “You’re even more stunning in person, Denise,” Jade dropped her voice slightly.

She wanted to look around the space to see if anyone seemed like they were paying specific attention to the scene that was unfolding, but she also knew she needed to stay in the moment to make it as realistic as possible (even though the entire scenario was absurd, really). Tori and Sam were tasked with scoping out the area, with Astra keeping an eye on who was coming and going.

-

“How about over there?” Tori asked Sam, nodding toward a college-aged woman dressed like Britney Spears in the 90s, who was loading raw sugar into her drink at the condiment station. The dark purple suit and trilby hat she wore, alongside Sam’s similar dark green suit and hat, made the detective scene she and Sam were engaged in come to life. Tori felt more perceptive, though neither of them were really playing a character, just keeping an eye on the people around them.

Sam casually turned to catch a glance. “Nah. Way too focused on her coffee.” Her eyes scanned the room, settling on another woman, this one older, who was reading a book, but also kept looking up every once in a while. "Her?"

It was Tori's turn to be non-nonchalant as she followed Sam's eye-line. The woman did seem to be very interested in everything but her book. "Maybe? Oh, but..." she gestured to a man who carried two drinks to the table and sat with the woman.

"This is way more boring than I thought it would be," Sam admitted. "So much waiting."

"A sting operation is literally sitting and waiting," said Tori, speaking confidently about knowledge she’d picked up as much from watching crime shows as from her former police officer father. Who was, incidentally, waiting outside at her request in case anything got ugly with catching this catfish. Tori looked back at Cat and Jade, who were well into their fake scene about the actress and the director. Jade playfully tossed her hair and threw a glance in Tori's direction.

"Oh, I guess they're at the flirting part," Sam assessed. "Or...is that what she's doing?"

"Yes," grumbled Tori. "She's making fun of me."

"That's how you flirt?" asked Sam. She tossed her own hair, mimicking what Jade had just done. " _Ohmygod_ , you're _so_ funny," she said, in an over-the-top valley girl accent.

"I really _do not_ sound like that. At all." Then Tori heard Cat’s signature laugh, or at least the one she’d used a lot in high school.

Even Sam picked up on the sound and raised her eyebrows. "I haven't heard that laugh in a while," she said.

There were a few things about Cat that had definitely changed over time, especially as she'd really embraced therapy and balanced out her medication. One of them was the cartoonish laugh that was currently sounding throughout the cafe. She hoped they weren't going too over the top with the performance. "We don't even know that the catfish is even in here, do we?"

Sam shook her head. "She's with us, right? The one in the cap?" she asked, nodding in Astra's direction. Because they'd staggered their arrivals, Sam and Cat hadn't met Astra, face to face, yet.

"Yeah." Tori looked from Astra to Jade, then made another pass around the various tables with her eyes. Half of the seats were taken up with writers on their laptops. Sam's phone buzzed with a text and she checked the screen. "Is it Cat?" Tori asked. They were relying on texting each other if anyone noticed anything worth reporting.

"Nah, it's Carly," Sam said, absently, immediately tapping out a reply, then setting the phone back down. "She's moving back to the States from Italy soon and she's thinking about LA."

Even though Sam had been a friend of Tori's for a while (and they'd known each other since high school), the idea that she was a degree away from Carly of _iCarly_ was still a little bit of a thrill for her. "That would be cool."

"It's weird that you're such a fangirl about her," Sam ribbed.

Tori batted her eyes. "I can fangirl you, too, if it'll make you feel better."

"Maybe later. Kinda busy trying to catch a catfish." Sam's phone rang.

"Oh, is it _Carly_?" Tori asked, mostly teasing but partly curious.

"Actually, yeah," Sam said, as she accepted the call. "Hey, Carls. Can I call you back a little later? I'm in the middle of a thing with your biggest fan..." Then Sam looked past Tori at a table near the window. "Holy shit, and actually, your other biggest fan is here, too. I gotta go." Sam ended the call, then tapped her fingers on the table. "Behind you. She's getting up."

Tori turned to see a shorter woman with glasses dressed in a duck costume suddenly walking across the JetBrew, heading right for Jade and Cat's table.

"This is all wrong!" cried out the woman. "You're supposed to want to put _me_ in your movie!" Sam was already on her feet and the second she was in sight of the freshly revealed catfish, the woman stopped in her tracks. “Sam?”

Wait, Sam knew this person.

“ _Mandy_.” The way Sam stated her name didn't sound like they were old pals.

Tori quickly sent a text to her dad, who was still waiting outside in his SUV. She wasn't sure if Mandy was anything beyond just a curious catfish, but Sam's reaction to her made Tori want to have backup, just in case.

"What are you doing here?" Mandy asked, casually.

“Oh, no,” Sam said, jabbing her finger at Mandy, “This isn’t about me, it’s about what _you’re_ doing here. You get one chance.”

“It’s supposed to be me!” Mandy exploded, “It’s _me_ Jade West wants, not whoever _that_ is!”

" _That_ is _my wife_ and you’ve been using her pictures to catfish my friend," Sam shot back, arms crossed, butter sock dangling from her clenched fist. Where had that come from? Tori hadn't even seen Sam bring it into the JetBrew.

“I didn’t know!” Mandy protested immediately.

"Hey, uh, why don't I take the b-- Wait. Your _wife_?" Tori glanced over to Jade, to see if she'd heard it, too.

From the wideness of her eyes and the way Jade mouthed " _WHAT_?" to her, it was pretty clear she had.

“Then this is just a hell of a coincidence,” Sam swung the butter sock restlessly, still glaring at Mandy suspiciously.

By now, Astra had joined them, putting herself between Mandy and the door. She pulled off the sunglasses. "Is this Denise?"

"Yeah, but her name's actually Mandy and...I'm pretty sure I have a restraining order against her from when she basically stalked my friends and I in Seattle," Sam said, finally looking away from Mandy toward Astra as Mandy balked at the accusation. Sam did a double take, and then took a long look at Astra. "Have we met before?"

"Oh my god, Astra!" Cat suddenly said. "Sam, you remember her. She--"

"Wait--yep." Sam nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. "It's nice to see you, again."

Astra didn't seem bothered that all of this was coming out in the middle of JetBrew. "You, too," she said, a flirtatious lilt in her voice.

"You slept with her, didn't you?" asked Jade. " _Oh god_ , did you send me her--"

" _Nope_. I did not. We can talk about this later," Sam insisted.

Tori realized something. "If Cat knows her, does that mean you guys--"

Sam lightly knocked her with the butter sock. " _Shuttup_."

By then, her dad was in the JetBrew and Tori listened as Sam explained a brief history of how Mandy had essentially tried to integrate herself into the _iCarly_ group. She seemed harmless, but certainly displayed stalker tendencies. Mandy tried to defend herself, making it clear that she hadn’t known who Jade was when they’d started messaging, but had figured it out and had become a big fan of Jade’s work, making her both obsessed and afraid to give up the catfishing game. The choice of Cat for a profile picture appeared to be an actual bizarre coincidence; Mandy had found the picture reading an article about Cat’s work with the Santa Monica Community Theater Troupe. In the end, Jade and Cat both agreed there had been no actual harm done and Tori’s dad made sure Mandy left the premises.

With the sting operation a success, Jade decided to buy everyone another round of coffee and as the five women sat around a table, Tori asked, "Anyway, _your wife_?"

"Yeah, since when?" Jade looked expectantly at Sam and Cat.

"Jade, you probably won't remember this because you were still on the east coast, but Tori, do you remember when I took that spill on my bike on the PCH?" asked Sam. Cat shuddered at the mention of it; meanwhile, Tori nodded. "I was mostly just a little banged up from it, but it was at least an overnight stay in the hospital and, when she came to visit me, Cat made a very good point."

"Aw, that you needed to get married so you could always be together?" Tori asked, a sentimental hand on her chest.

"Well, kind of," replied Sam.

"The night nurse wouldn't let me see her because we weren't related or spouses," explained Cat. "So I told Sam that the only guarantee that I'd be able to sneak Tubba Chicken into her if anything like that ever happened again would be if I was her wife."

"Why didn't you tell us?" demanded Jade.

"Didn't wanna make a big deal out of it," said Sam. "We just went to the courthouse."

"Don't you need a witness for that?" Tori asked.

"We had one," said Cat. "Our kinda friend, Herb."

"Well, that was a hell of a way to find that out," said Jade before taking a long sip of coffee. "Anyway, Astra, I would properly introduce you to our apparently married friends, but I guess you already know them."

"A little bit, yeah." Astra looked to Cat. "When I tried to chat with the catfish account, I had this feeling like I'd seen that face somewhere before. But it had been awhile, so I didn't really put it together until," she glanced at Sam.

"This was bound to happen," Tori mused.

"Which part?" questioned Sam.

"You sleeping with someone that one of us dated," replied Tori.

"We went out once," Jade clarified.

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, well. Same."

There was a slight lull and Tori worried things had gotten a little too awkward. But then Astra said, "That's only because you never called me again." She smirked at Sam across the table, who appeared to be turning a little pink.

The embarrassment of a friend was always something Jade loved to comment on and, within a moment, they were all laughing together.

But later on, after she and Jade drove home in their separate cars (Jade had come from a gig) to have some dinner before heading out to the haunted house for the evening, Jade squinted at her from the other side of the kitchen island, where Tori was making some quick grilled cheese with tomato sandwiches. “Sam’s going to hook up with Astra again, isn’t she?”

It was less of a question and more of a statement. “I got...the same vibe,” Tori replied casually.

Jade shook her head. “It’s _weird_ ,” she declared.

“You said yourself you only went on one date with Astra. And,” Tori hesitated, wondering if she should reveal this train of thought, “I’m not the one who gets much specific information about Sam’s hook-ups, but I’m willing to bet that with both of us running in queer circles in LA, that Sam and I have overlap that we just don’t know about. I mean,” Tori gestured to Jade, “You only really dated here for a few months and you overlapped with Sam. I’ve been--”

“Okay, you just made it weirder,” Jade cut her off, but her expression was amused. “I mean, I know queer circles tend to get incestuous, but befriending Astra and finding this out was...pretty unexpected.”

“At least _I_ never slept with Astra,” Tori consoled.

“Yeah, she would have died and gone to fangirl heaven,” Jade smirked.

The haunted house that night was basically like every other night, except because it was Halloween, it was also much busier; when Tori and Jade arrived an extra hour early to set up, there were already people waiting outside. Tori spotted some _Whisper Creek_ t-shirts and what looked like people wearing Marti Chavez costumes (lab coats and glasses; a little surreal, given her current work) among those in line and had a feeling it was going to be yet another night of her hashtag blowing up with selfies and signing autographs. Which was fine, really, and flattering, but could be a little emotionally exhausting on top of maintaining her persona of the haunted house guide and getting scared by Jade every time.

The other difference was that Cat (tonight in a more elaborate version of her cat costume from earlier in the day) had set up an array of “chili pumpkins” back in the dressing room for everyone. Evidently, eating chili out of a giant pumpkin was something of a Halloween tradition for Sam, and Cat had hollowed out several small pumpkins to allow everyone in the Fright House cast and crew to celebrate Sam’s tradition with her. Tori offered to let Sam eat hers, too, because she’d just eaten and also because it was _weird_.

Tori would have thought that after a week of this, she might stop getting scared every time Jade jumped out at her. At this point, even most of the groups going through the haunted house didn’t even get scared by Jade anymore, because the videos of Tori had gone viral and everyone was expecting it. But even expectation couldn’t help Tori. Mostly she didn’t mind it, because it was creating good press for the event and even positive media attention for her that she hadn’t received in awhile. But she’d threatened, earlier in the week, to find a way to _not_ react, and now that it was the last night, it felt like it was time to do it.

As she went through her evening, she considered how she might successfully thwart Jade’s attempt to scare her. She realized that where expectation couldn’t help her, preparation might, not with regard to the scare itself, but with internal work. Tori decided that she needed to embody a persona that did not scare easily. This kind of work was so second nature to her now, she wondered how she hadn’t considered it earlier.

Mistress Tawny seemed like the obvious choice, but her presence also felt highly inappropriate. It was also important to Tori that the power dynamics that drove this persona be consensual, and having Jade face Mistress Tawny unexpectedly in this kind of situation didn’t seem fair. Captain Catherine Obvious was a possibility, though Tori worried her reaction might be to punch Jade while in that headspace. Similarly, Officer Pedesko was probably a persona that would _hate_ to be scared or caught off guard.

It came to her very suddenly: Walter Swain. He was brave, heroic, and gentle. He would face fear stoically, or, at worst, pass out. But Tori strongly believed that Jade wouldn’t be able to scare Walter Swain.

It was the last group of the evening. Because so many people were coming through, they’d already gone a little late, and Cat had increased the size of the groups that were allowed to go through, so that they almost didn’t all fit in the rooms. Cat herself was bringing up the rear of this group; Tori had noticed she always liked to go through at the end, probably a quality control thing. And this time, as they approached the final corridor where Tori knew Jade was, she took a moment to center herself, smoothing her fingers over her upper lip, mentally applying a moustache to her face and vividly imagining the sensation of it, connecting with Walter. She stood straighter as she led the group through, letting her voice drop slightly as she informed them all that they were almost through.

And then, like she did multiple times a night, Jade popped out (she was always earlier or later than Tori expected; her timing was _insanely_ good).

But even though Tori’s heart was about ready to pound out of her chest, Walter stood his ground, staring stoically at Jade.

There was a collective groan from the tour group, and Jade recoiled in shock. Tori looked her straight in the eye, letting Walter fade from her. “I just wanted to prove to you that I could do it,” she told Jade.

And just as the group tittered with laughter or grumbled in disappointment, someone grabbed Tori from behind with a horrifying growl, and she screamed and started flailing madly.

A moment later, as laughter roared through the hallway, Tori launched herself at Jade and grabbed onto her, seeking protection and comfort, and turned to find Sam doubled over with laughter behind her. “ _Sam!_ ” Tori shrieked.

“Had to get one final scare in. For the people,” Sam explained. Tori heard some of the guests murmuring about _iCarly_ , which Sam appeared to pick up on as well, because immediately she was gone, slipping back through the hidden compartment in the wall behind the set. Tori led the final group of the evening outside and indulged them in selfies and autographs.

-

The rest of Jade’s weekend was devoted to her upcoming trip to New York, with travel arrangements being finalized and verified, packing, and saying goodbye to people. She had lunch with her mother and brother while Tori met with clients on Saturday, and spent most of her afternoon packing. She was sure that she was adept at fitting what she needed into a few bags, but it turned out that packing up everything she owned, as she’d done for the past several years, was much different from sorting through what she had at home and deciding what she would need.

That evening after dinner, as Jade finished cleaning up, Tori asked to see her phone.

“Why?” Jade asked, though she was already pulling her phone out.

Tori smiled mischievously, “Maybe I want to leave a surprise on it for you.”

“What kind of surprise?”

Tori clearly hadn’t wanted to elaborate, given the way she watched Jade and her lips thinned slightly, but then she said, “I thought I might take a few pictures for you. You know. Ones that wouldn’t end up on your cloud.”

Well, that certainly caught Jade’s attention. A newer safety feature on the PearPhones was one in which some photos could be kept only on the device they were taken on, allowing for private photos to remain private, and others to not automatically push to the cloud, allowing people to sext while avoiding the threat of such private photos being leaked by hackers. But Jade liked the security of the first option the most. “Oh, really?” she asked.

“Mmhmm,” Tori replied, “What do you say? Want to take some _inspiration_ with you for all those lonely nights?”

Was that even a question? “Yes, please,” Jade murmured. “How about I leave some with you, too?”

Tori flashed her an eager smile. “I’d love that.”

So they each handed over their phones, camera apps open to keep the phones from locking back up, and Jade headed into the guest house while Tori went into the bedroom. They’d never sent anything too risque as teens, and Jade wasn’t sure she wanted to start now, even with the security measures on the newer PearPhones; it wouldn’t be long until those, too, were breached. But she certainly knew the power that a good cleavage shot had over someone like Tori.

Jade took several pictures of herself in her bra in different positions sitting or lying on her bed, cleavage arranged invitingly, some with her face in them. And, double-checking the camera app settings, Jade took off her bra and took several pictures without it, though none that showed her face or even her nipples, for the sake of her own anxiety.

She smirked at her handiwork, knowing Tori would enjoy these. Jade certainly knew how to take a good selfie.

She went back inside, eagerly waiting to exchange phones with Tori. But Tori wasn’t back yet. Jade waited patiently for a few minutes before she got bored and started poking through Tori’s bookshelf, when finally, Tori reappeared.

“You sure took your time with that,” Jade observed.

“Maybe I did,” Tori replied with a smirk. She handed Jade back her phone and took her own.

Immediately, Jade opened her private photos folder, which required a passcode. Her jaw dropped as she clicked on the first picture. “ _Tori_!”

“Wow, you didn’t even wait,” Tori commented, “Kind of defeats the purpose, don’t you think?”

“I, uh,” Jade was speechless, because Tori hadn’t even done anything cutesy and clever with bras and positioning the way Jade had, to work with the power of suggestion. Tori had full on given Jade pictures of her entirely nude torso, breasts out. “Wow,” Jade said softly. “Aren’t you...I mean…”

Tori chuckled, “I’m already a sex worker, it’s not like there isn’t already information out there for people to try to shame me with. Of course I don’t want anything like this leaked, but at the same time...who cares, you know?”

Jade shook her head, because, well, _she_ might care. But it was Tori’s body, these were for her eyes only, and she could delete them after her trip if it made them both feel better. And _damn_. It was _kind of_ really exciting to know it was something she had in her pocket, something she was going to take with her.

-

Tori swirled her tongue, brushing over Jade’s clit with deliberate slowness, two fingers inside of her, thrusting and curling deep. Her other arm wrapped under Jade’s thigh, hand reaching up her body to grab her breast. Jade had one handful of Tori’s hair, the other hand braced against the headboard, hips lifting, seeking more contact. It was Sunday night, Jade was basically packed and ready to leave for New York early the next morning, and they were celebrating their last night together, one last opportunity for sex for three weeks.

Tori was taking her time, eyes closed, letting stimuli fill her senses as she focused on Jade’s pleasure, on prolonging it, because this wasn’t something she wanted to be over quickly. This was something she absolutely wanted to savor. She slowed down even more, letting the most delicate flicks of the tip of her tongue move between Jade’s legs, her fingers plunging deep and pausing before gradually retreating.

A whine from Jade’s lips and a buck from her hips told Tori that Jade had definitely sensed her retreat and was urging her to continue, fingers tightening in Tori’s hair. Tori smirked, maintaining the same delicate sensation, hearing and feeling Jade’s frustrated breaths, the way her chest lifted and her moans stuttered helplessly. Finally, she breathed, “ _Tori_.”

Tori’s smirk deepened, an idea coming to her. She wanted this encounter to last, to be memorable. She wanted to etch the memory of her touch into Jade’s skin, she wanted to be the first thing Jade thought of when she was alone in her hotel room in New York.

A light thrill ran through her when she realized _she_ wanted something out of this, too. She wanted to hear Jade beg her for release.

She lifted her mouth, letting her lips gently suck at Jade’s clit along the way, pushing up against Jade’s hand, which definitely sought to keep her there. “Yes?” she asked, gazing up Jade’s body.

Jade huffed and whined, a long, desperate sound. Tori’s fingers were still inside of her, moving at a maddening pace, just enough to keep Jade engaged, to keep her arousal elevated. “ _Tori_!” she said again, with more urgency, “Why did you stop?” she asked breathlessly.

Tori adjusted herself, slipping her other arm out from under Jade’s thigh, bracing herself on the bed next to Jade. Jade’s hand fell away from her head at this, desperately gripping the sheets next to her instead. She gazed down at Jade, her fingers still working, taking in the vibrant flush of Jade’s pale skin, the way her blue eyes burned with need. “I didn’t stop,” Tori murmured, jolting her fingers in a quick thrust for emphasis, watching the way Jade trembled and her eyes fluttered shut, “I’m just savoring you. You’re so fucking gorgeous like this,” she breathed.

Tori wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but Jade blushed darker, squirming beneath her, whispering, “ _Fuck_ ,” so quietly that Tori almost missed it. But then, “ _Why_?”

It wasn’t really a suitable question, and Tori didn’t have to answer it. Because obviously, she was doing this because she wanted to, because Jade would let her. Jade trusted her, and Tori worked within the bounds of things they’d already explored together, things that weren’t overtly _play_ , but that toed that line. “How much do you want it, Jade?” Tori asked, keeping her tone light, almost conversational, as her fingers kept moving.

“ _What_?” Jade hissed in response, eyes opening, blazing challengingly, now. “How much do I _want it_?” she asked almost incredulously.

“You heard me,” Tori continued in the same tone, letting her fingers apply slightly more pressure now, watching the way Jade’s body stiffened in response. “How badly do you want to come?”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jade said again, eyes closing again as she seemed to melt into the mattress. The silence stretched until there was a very quiet, “Please.”

Tori blinked. Everything she knew about sex with Jade had suggested that it would take a _lot_ more to get to this point. Jade continued to surprise her. But she could play along. “What was that?” Tori asked, still fucking her slowly, “I couldn’t quite hear you.”

A groan, and Jade beneath her, pushing her hips against Tori’s fingers desperately. “Damn it, just--” she broke off into another moan.

“Just what?” she coaxed playfully, leaning over to press soft kisses against Jade’s breasts, eyes never leaving her face.

“What do you want me to do, beg?” Jade practically thrashed on the sheets.

“That _was_ kind of the point of all this,” Tori laughed before taking a nipple gently into her mouth.

“ _Please_ ,” Jade said, louder, firmer now. “Please, I need this, I need you, I need your mouth, Tori, _please_.”

Tori felt a glowing warmth all through her, victory combining with the electric shock that Jade had actually begged her, the coil of arousal the power of it produced in her. She kissed her breasts a little more firmly, nipping slightly with her teeth, feeling her own breath catch in response to Jade’s. “You need me, huh?” she purred, slowly kissing her way down Jade’s body.

“Of fucking course I do,” Jade growled quickly, clearly already losing her patience for this begging game.

Tori paused, smirking back up at her, “I’d be nice, if I were you.”

Jade flopped back against her pillows with a loud, extended groan, the kind reserved for extremely annoying people, one that Tori hadn’t heard from her in probably at least a decade. She slapped her hand against the mattress next to her and white-knuckled the sheets, huffing furiously, as Tori continued to press unhurried kisses down her body. The lower Tori’s mouth moved, the more Jade seemed to calm down, until Tori was back between her legs, lips a hairbreadth from her clit, arm tucked under her thigh, the fingers of her other hand still moving ceaselessly, leisurely, inside of her. “Are you ready for me?” Tori teased.

“God damn it, _yes_ ,” Jade erupted, “Please,” she added as an afterthought, clearly trying to soften her outburst.

Tori frowned at her playfully. “I told you to _be nice_ ,” she admonished, “I can take my time.” And with that, she let her tongue dip out, slipping over the flesh beneath her, delicately caressing Jade’s clit.

Jade moaned and arched at the contact, murmuring something that might have been a curse or might have been a plea. It was impossible to tell. But Tori settled into position comfortably, kneeling before her, free hand slipping up again to grasp Jade’s breast, letting her fingers run over her nipples. It took all of her own restraint to maintain her pace, keeping the motions of her tongue exploratory, thorough, her fingers pumping deliberately, an exercise in patience for them both. Tori focused on capturing the memory, the feel of Jade, the power of her naked vulnerability, the breathtaking beauty of her smooth skin, her curves, her hair splayed on the pillow, her expressive eyes, begging the same way the woman herself had as they met Tori’s gaze again.

And gradually, Tori increased the intensity, until she was ravenous, tongue and fingers moving in tandem, focused and passionate. Tori could hear her own moans echoing in her head as Jade’s thighs tightened, not quite closing around her ears, felt the way Jade’s cries corresponded with the thrusts of her fingers inside of her, felt the way Jade tugged at her hair, lifted her hips, and Tori closed her eyes tightly, every sensation attuned to Jade. Her back arching, Tori feeling the lift of her body beneath her hand, and Jade hung there for such a long moment, almost an eternity, walls squeezing Tori’s fingers, hips quivering against her mouth, until, with a violent spasm, she came, body bowing and collapsing, over and over, hips jolting. Tori kept her mouth connected as best she could, lips over her teeth to avoid scraping Jade’s delicate flesh, continuing to move her tongue and thrust her fingers inside pulsating walls until what felt like full minutes later, Jade fell back against the mattress like a puppet with its strings cut, boneless, breathless, utterly spent.

Tori slowly unbunched her limbs, stretching her neck and rolling her shoulders, running her palm over her chin and carefully climbing over Jade’s splayed leg, uncoiling her body with a grateful groan. She moved closer to Jade, pressing kisses against her chest, her collarbone, her shoulder, her neck, her cheek, until Jade started laughing, a weak sound, distant like she was still coming back to herself. Tori slung her arm across her torso, pulling her close as she nuzzled the side of her face.

“Fuck,” Jade finally said, then laughed with a little more force. “Damn.” She laughed harder.

“That good, huh?” Tori chuckled in her ear.

“Fucking goddamn,” was Jade’s final assessment, before she laughed fully, turning toward Tori to pull her practically on top of her, holding her and trading lazy kisses as she slowly recovered from her orgasm.

Tori settled on top of her, grinning down at her and letting her eyes roam over Jade’s face, taking in every detail she could of this moment, Jade’s expression, relaxed and euphoric, the love and affection shining back at Tori as they gazed at each other. She was so _goddamn_ lucky that after everything they’d been through, Jade still wanted to be with her.

And, abruptly, Jade rolled her over and climbed on top of her, smirking down at Tori triumphantly, leaning over to kiss her. Tori kissed back, feeling the way they settled into a familiar position, lifting her hips to grind against Jade’s thigh. Jade pressed back against her with a satisfied grunt, encouraging the contact, hands roaming over Tori’s torso, her chest, as Tori chased release from all the power and elation that had built in her during the long, slow process of building Jade up and bringing her to orgasm.

Until Tori released a shaky sigh, and her hips pressed harder, and then Jade pulled away, abruptly shifting position, her thighs settling between Tori’s, keeping Tori’s legs spread, giving her nothing to grind against. She smirked down at Tori, a challenge, as Tori gaped at her.

“Fine, then,” Tori said breathlessly, and began to reach down between her legs to stimulate herself.

Immediately, Jade grabbed both her wrists and pinned them over her head. “You don’t get to be in charge _all_ the time,” she murmured slyly.

Tori’s back arched in some delicious combination of frustration and arousal. “ _Jade_ ,” she moaned out.

“That’s right, say _my_ name this time,” Jade chuckled.

Tori knew that if she really wanted to, she could stop this. She could push back against Jade easily, flip her, take back the power, grind against her to her heart’s content.

But she also wanted to see what Jade would do with this taste of power, should Tori decide to give it to her.

-

Jade smirked down at Tori, enjoying the way it felt like the tables had turned. She had a distinct sense that Tori was letting this happen--she vividly remembered the night of the reunion and the way Tori had easily taken the power back, but this was different. Tori gazed up at her, biting her lip invitingly, eyes dark and smoldering with arousal.

“I’d ask what you’re going to miss most about me, but I already know,” Jade murmured.

“Oh?” Tori asked, raising a challenging eyebrow, “And what’s that?”

“Easy,” Jade said. She leaned back enough to shift her grip on Tori’s hands, interlacing their fingers before leaning forward again, pinning them over Tori’s head. “You’re going to miss these,” she said as she lowered her breasts to Tori’s face.

She heard the muffled moan as Tori pressed her face against them, felt Tori’s lips pressing against her flesh. Jade pulled back as Tori tried to burrow deeper into her cleavage, smirking down at her partner, who was already flushed and breathless, and who craned her neck to try to reach the breasts in front of her, just out of reach.

But Jade felt generous, and lowered them, moving her shoulders to let them brush over Tori’s face, acutely aware of the moments when Tori’s lips and tongue caressed a nipple, which Tori seemed to be chasing, if her movements were any indication. Jade let Tori enjoy the breasts in her face for a long moment, loving the desperate sounds Tori made as Jade pressed them against her face, then pulled back enough so that it was almost just her nipples running along Tori’s lips. But just this wasn’t going to get Tori anywhere but wound up, and the longer Jade made her wait, the less likely Tori was to be patient in all of this.

Besides, Jade herself wasn’t all that patient, either.

So Jade began to slowly work her way down the lean body beneath her, shifting her shoulders to let her breasts rub against Tori’s own as she lowered her mouth to kiss Tori several times, feeling the hunger and passion reflected back at her through an eager mouth. Jade shifted lower, letting go of Tori’s hands, glancing at Tori’s face to see if she would behave. Tori left her hands where they were, for now, above her head, watching as Jade continued to rub and press her breasts against Tori’s chest and stomach and hips and even her upper thighs.

On a whim, Jade let her breast press delicately between Tori’s legs, and heard the sharp inhale from her partner. Jade glanced up to see Tori’s head lifted and her eyes fixed on Jade’s breasts, eyes wide, mouth parted. Jade shifted again, letting her breast move more deliberately against Tori’s flesh, feeling the wetness against her nipple, and a stuttered, “O-oh,” fell from Tori’s lips.

“Oh?” Jade asked, stifling the urge to laugh. _Really_? This was doing it for her?

Tori swallowed, blinking, “Uh huh,” she confessed quietly. She was flushed with arousal, and maybe it was her expression, but it almost made Jade think she might be blushing. It had been a long time since something they’d done in bed together had genuinely caught Tori off guard like this. So long, in fact, that the blushy, breathless desire on Tori’s face reminded Jade of Tori at seventeen, unable to keep her eyes or her hands off of Jade’s breasts, than anything she’d seen from her pro-domme of a girlfriend lately.

Huh. Okay. Jade had fully intended to go down on Tori, but maybe this was more _interesting_ , and would be more memorable to leave Tori with. So Jade settled into place between Tori’s legs, lifting her breast and maneuvering it so that her nipple pressed and slid along Tori’s clit. Tori fell back against her pillows with a groan.

Damn, she was so easy. Jade grinned, positioning herself so that she could subtly grind her breast against Tori with the motion of her shoulder, while her other hand slipped between Tori’s legs, one finger sliding inside of her slowly. Jade watched the way she arched off the mattress, letting out a groan, and then Jade replaced one with two and Tori arched again, this time uttering, “ _Fuck_ , Jade.”

Jade watched hungrily, her fingers working in tandem with the breast pressing against Tori’s clit. Her nipple was definitely an imperfect tool for this job, but it really didn’t seem to matter, not with the way Tori started breathing in rhythm with Jade’s thrusts, not with the way her hips lifted greedily to grind back against Jade’s breast, not with the way her hands lifted from the pillow, but only to grip the headboard, giving herself more leverage to grind back. Jade felt her smirk growing as she watched Tori, moaning wantonly, body arching and hips pushing against Jade with growing need. “You’re going to come on my tits, aren’t you?” Jade asked, teasing.

“F-fuck, I--” and that easily, Tori was coming with a guttural groan, her hips pushing rapidly against Jade, meeting her thrusts and the press of her breast until her hips bucked hard, practically lifting her off the bed, her whole body undulating like an ocean wave, rhythmic and slow, and Jade watched her riding out the ebb and flow of her orgasm, as it redoubled whenever Tori would look down between her legs, until Tori whimpered, “I can’t--anymore,” and fell back with an intense shudder.

Smirking triumphantly, Jade lifted herself up, slipping her fingers free, producing another moan and an aftershock ripple through Tori’s body. Tori had been very... _toppy_ in most of their sexual encounters since reconnecting at the reunion, which Jade was definitely into, but it was nice to know that there was still something that could turn Tori into the partner Jade remembered from her youth, the one she’d explored so much with. Everything was different with a new partner, Jade always said, and discovering what was different between them now was exhilarating, but it was also gratifying to remember where they started, over a decade ago, when they fell in love. Jade climbed up next to her on the bed, to where she was half-curled on her side, and Jade pulled her close, kissing her hair, letting Tori nestle her face in Jade’s shoulder. She could feel and hear Tori breathing in the scent of her, and Jade did the same, letting the delightful swirl of aroma in the air settle in her mind--sex, Tori’s shampoo, Tori’s perfume, sex, clean sheets, sweat, skin and sex.

Tori seemed to have recovered, and Jade heard her take a breath. “Well,” she mumbled against Jade’s shoulder, “I can say that...I’ve never done _that_ before.”

Well, _that_ made for a hell of a sense of accomplishment in Jade. The _kind of_ famous dominatrix she was sharing a bed with could be reduced to raw need and compliance by a nice rack. “Yeah?” Jade chuckled softly, shifting so that she could look at Tori. “I mean, it was new to me, too.”

“I...that was... _really_ hot,” Tori confessed, eyes darting away as she grinned.

“Uh, yeah,” Jade laughed, “All of it was.” She drew Tori in for a kiss.

As far as goodbye sex went--and not like, reunion night goodbye, just temporary goodbye--Jade thought this had been pretty damn good.

-

They’d drifted off together for a while, but Jade had gotten up out of bed sometime around midnight and Tori decided she’d stay up with her for the next couple of hours until her WeDriveU showed up to take her to the airport at 3:00AM so Jade would have plenty of time to make her 5:00AM flight. She’d offered to drive Jade herself, but there had been the compelling argument that LAX was (and always had been) a nightmare to navigate in and out of. Also, it kind of sucked to say goodbye at the airport when you were just dropping someone off, because security was always pressuring people to keep moving.

Just as Jade's PearPhone buzzed with a notification that her car was fifteen minutes away, Tori jolted upright on the couch where they'd been cuddling and watching a part of a disaster movie marathon Jade had stumbled across in the guide ( _Twister_ was the current title in the series).

"I almost forgot something," she exclaimed, untangling herself from Jade and sprinting for the bedroom. She could hear Jade make some kind of quip from down the hall, but she couldn't make it out. There was a small mesh drawstring pouch tucked away in her nightstand drawer, which she grabbed before barreling back down the hallway, sliding in her socks as she skidded to a stop when she hit the living room.

"I was originally going to hide this in your luggage," Tori began, placing herself right back on the couch with Jade. "But then I imagined the TSA asking you what it was and you insisting you didn't know and them interrogating you and I figured you might not like that."

"Actually," Jade squinted, considering, "if I didn't have a schedule to keep, being interrogated might be kind of cool." She eyed the pouch Tori held in her hand. "What is it?" she asked, taking it and tugging the drawstring open.

"A little something to remember me by," Tori said, sweetly.

"Tori." Jade slid the contents out into her hand. "This is a sex toy."

It was, in fact, a sex toy, a small silicone vibrator. "Yep. I charged it, too."

"I did pack my own, you know," Jade replied, experimenting with the variable settings of the device.

"Well, this one's...from me."

"The other one's technically from you, too."

"I happen to be very invested in your orgasms."

Jade smirked and rose from the couch to tuck the little pouch away in one of the bags lined up next to the door. Tori followed her for the purpose of being able to tug at her sweater and pull her in for a leisurely kiss (something they wouldn't really be able to do at the passenger loading section of the drop-off zone at the airport). She squeezed her arms around Jade and nuzzled her neck.

"I love you," said Jade, her voice softer than usual.

Maybe because it was nearly three in the morning. Maybe because, what with all the grown-up assurance that this was manageable and not even that long of a window of time away from each other, it was still a goodbye.

"I love you," Tori echoed. "Don't get interrogated."

"No promises."

But then Jade met her lips with the force of a thousand promises and when she finally slipped out the door and into her rideshare, all Tori could do was believe them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Make Me Feel_ by Janelle Monáe
> 
> _  
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**  
> _
> 
> The days since she’d arrived in New York had been full and busy, with Jade struggling to adjust to the time difference (already not being a morning person was even harder when morning felt like it came so much earlier), and finding her footing on a new set for an existing project. She’d done all she could to prepare before her arrival, but there was nothing quite like actually _being_ there, integrating with other people, beginning the process of collaboration that made television magic.
> 
> “Anyway, it’s been wild so far,” Jade told Tori as she neared her trailer.
> 
> “Sounds like it,” Tori replied, “I’m really glad you took this job, you just...you’re glowing,” she observed.
> 
> Jade chuckled, “That’s probably because I’m talking to you, honestly,” she grinned, watching the way it made Tori smirk back. But she was taking a bite of her food, so she couldn’t answer right away. “What’s your evening look like?” Jade asked, glancing at the clock and realizing she’d need to hang up the phone shortly.
> 
> Tori finished chewing and then replied, “I’ll be done by seven or eight, depending on how long my Pedesko scene goes.”
> 
> “Oh,” Jade straightened, “You’re filming that tonight?”
> 
> Tori nodded, “Finally got the schedule worked out with my scene partner. How late do you think you’ll be on set?”
> 
> “Hard to say,” Jade replied, “Ten, maybe later?”
> 
> “Well, if you’re up for it, call me tonight,” Tori offered, smiling invitingly.


	14. Eleven: Sure it would be better if I had you here to hold me, Be better baby but believe me it's the next best thing

“And, of course, our craft service is pretty damn good,” Jade pointed her camera toward a spread of various snacks across a table. It was the middle of her first week in New York, in the late afternoon, the first time she and Tori had been able to really talk all day beyond a couple of texts (including a brief exchange with Mistress Tawny, which had been...interesting). Jade had given Tori a tour of the set and was heading back to her trailer, gazing at Tori’s face on her phone screen. Tori was in her office at work, eating lunch (on mute until she had something to say, so that Jade didn’t have to hear her chewing), and even under these circumstances, Jade was so happy for the break in her day and for the small moment to connect with Tori.

The days since she’d arrived in New York had been full and busy, with Jade struggling to adjust to the time difference (already not being a morning person was even harder when morning felt like it came so much earlier), and finding her footing on a new set for an existing project. She’d done all she could to prepare before her arrival, but there was nothing quite like actually _being_ there, integrating with other people, beginning the process of collaboration that made television magic.

“Anyway, it’s been wild so far,” Jade told Tori as she neared her trailer.

“Sounds like it,” Tori replied, “I’m really glad you took this job, you just...you’re glowing,” she observed.

Jade chuckled, “That’s probably because I’m talking to you, honestly,” she grinned, watching the way it made Tori smirk back. But she was taking a bite of her food, so she couldn’t answer right away. “What’s your evening look like?” Jade asked, glancing at the clock and realizing she’d need to hang up the phone shortly.

Tori finished chewing and then replied, “I’ll be done by seven or eight, depending on how long my Pedesko scene goes.”

“Oh,” Jade straightened, “You’re filming that tonight?”

Tori nodded, “Finally got the schedule worked out with my scene partner. How late do you think you’ll be on set?”

“Hard to say,” Jade replied, “Ten, maybe later?”

“Well, if you’re up for it, call me tonight,” Tori offered, smiling invitingly.

Monday night Jade had crashed out hard basically as soon as she came back to her hotel, and the past couple of nights she hadn’t been up for much beyond some sleepy goodnights on the phone with Tori. But she knew Tori was missing their sexual connection, and honestly, when Jade had time to think about it, she was, too.

She was maybe thinking about it now, in fact, especially knowing that Tori was going to be working on an Officer Pedesko scene that very evening. She wondered how long it took to prep that kind of footage before it was posted.

“Oh, one more thing before you go,” Tori spoke quickly, “You left your PearPad on the dining room table, and I keep meaning to ask what you’d like me to do with it.”

“Oh, that,” Jade nodded. “It’s my old PearPad, from college. I thought there might be something I needed on it, but I found what I was looking for somewhere else. And I don’t have a charging cable for Pear products that old anymore anyway, so...I don’t know. You can just put it on my desk or something.”

Tori nodded, “Okay. I might have a cable somewhere, if you--”

Jade glanced at the clock again. Time to finish up her conversation. “Yeah, sure.”

“You have to go, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, have fun, I love you.”

“I love you.” Jade paused, just for a moment, to take in Tori’s face before hitting the disconnect button and hurrying back to set. There was always something to do around here. Earlier in the week, she was bundled up in her heavy winter coat, scouting outdoor locations for a particular scene, and she’d had to make some final casting decisions for a guest role on the episode. Today, she was mostly on set, watching a different episode get filmed, beginning to learn who she’d be working with next week and seeing how another director was treating the material.

It was busy, and Jade liked that. She liked the pace of life on a set. And she was learning the ways that directing television was different from directing a movie, especially one that she’d written and had such a specific vision for.

Staying moving all day, and being so tired at night, meant that she didn’t have much time at all to dwell on how much she missed Tori. She pushed it aside once more as she headed out of her trailer, hurrying to get back before cameras started rolling.

-

For her part, Tori was staying busy, too. It hadn’t been a fully conscious decision, but over the past couple of months, she had cut down on evening work; basically, ever since Jade moved into the guest house, Tori had ended up being home more in the evenings. But now that Jade was away, Tori was pouring herself into her work again. She didn’t see it as a coping mechanism, per se, she just knew that work kept her grounded and happy and gave her an outlet for her creativity and eroticism.

So Tori was staying at Moustache Media longer, seeing clients during the day when Kwakoo was around, and in the evenings, starting to record as much as she could for Virtual Encounters, wanting to build a decent backlog of videos to stagger out as new releases. Kwakoo stayed late on that evening as she worked with another performer on her Officer Pedesko scene, but for the rest of the week, it was Tori alone in Moustache Media after six pm. She sort of enjoyed the silence, the chance to stew in her creative juices, as she considered new concepts for videos, or filmed things.

The house wasn’t lonely, because Tori was used to living alone, but Jade’s absence was palpable, especially with the little pieces of her that Tori would find among her things--an unfamiliar book on the bedside table, a mug that she’d never used in her dishwasher, a stray sock in the sofa. They were still trying to figure out exactly what cohabiting might look like, and Tori knew part of that would involve her making space for Jade in a home that had been only her own for so long. Though so much of her planning with regard to renovating her grandmother’s old house had been done with the possibility of someday living with someone else in mind, Tori had settled into all the space that was her own. Jade was still often crossing to the guest house to get dressed, for instance, even if she showered and did everything else to get ready in the master bathroom. So at night before getting into bed, Tori started with her closet, moving some things around to try to make space for Jade to keep some clothes in the bedroom.

Maybe by the time three weeks were over, Tori would make enough space for Jade to come back and fully integrate their lives.

Friday morning, Tori was awake early, and after yoga and coffee and a morning visit with Hamster (who had finally stopped looking around for Jade to join them), she had some time before she needed to go to Moustache Media. She remembered the PearPad she’d asked Jade about the day before, and dug around in her desk, searching for and failing to find an old charging cable she was sure she had. It occurred to her that maybe it was in her desk at Moustache Media; Mistress Tawny’s first PearPhone had been a very old one of Tori’s. With the dead PearPad in hand, Tori figured she might as well head into work early, and put the rest of the coffee in her Chemex into a travel mug as she headed out.

She arrived even earlier than Kwakoo, and when she got into her office, it was instinct to check all of her work emails and messages first. Nothing that required her immediate attention, so Tori sipped her coffee and started searching her desk for the old charging cable. Eventually, she found it tucked away under a bunch of other various cords, cables and tech, and she plugged in Jade’s PearPad. At the very least, she should be able to soon tell Jade whether or not it even still worked.

Because it was long dead, there was no response at all from the PearPad at first. Tori continued with her morning routine. She had a client coming around eleven, so she began to get dressed so she could get into Mistress Tawny’s headspace. Kwakoo showed up before too long, and they went over the schedule for the day. Afterward, she checked the PearPad. When she touched the power button, a battery symbol showed up on the screen, indicating that it was charging, but didn’t yet have enough power to turn on. When it reached a certain level of charge, it should turn itself on, if Tori knew Pear products.

But Tori refocused on getting ready--putting in her contact lenses, doing her makeup, clipping in her bangs. And with that, she was Mistress Tawny, ready to see her first client.

Tori mostly forgot about the PearPad until it was almost time for Kwakoo to leave. She had her client in the morning, took a break to have some lunch, during which she got caught up in texting with Jade, who wasn’t available to video chat, then saw another client. Then she redressed to record a Captain Catherine Obvious scene while Kwakoo was still there (a safety precaution, on the off-chance that she injured herself while working out). When she finished with her workout and checked in with Kwakoo before he left, she spotted the PearPad in her office once again.

It had turned on, and alerted her that it needed to update. Well, that made sense, she guessed. She was going to be here for a little while longer, so she went ahead and confirmed the update. It wanted a password, so Tori took a guess, recalling Jade’s old passcode from when they were dating the first time. It worked, and popped up with a prompt to choose a wifi network, which Tori did, and moments later, the screen went dark, showing a progress bar for downloading the new update.

Tori left it alone and took a quick shower in her office bathroom to wash up after her workout, then woke up her computer and spent the next hour or so putting in some research for her next Pleasure Professor video. When she decided it was probably time to go home, she remembered the PearPad.

It had apparently updated, because now when she touched the screen, an image popped up, of a moody black and white shot of a raven perched on an iron gate under a cloudy sky. The password prompt came up, and Tori entered it again, and the background on the homescreen was an image of her own face, grinning goofily, and giving a thumbs up over a giant plate of cheese fries.

Tori had a moment to stare at it before a prompt to sync the device with the cloud came up. Sure, whatever, Tori just pressed the button to make it go away so that she could go back to staring at the image of herself at nineteen or whatever. It was completely unexpected. She’d kind of only signed into the PearPad so she could at least report to Jade whether or not it looked like it worked and still had her content on it. She supposed the lock screen image probably could have told her that much. But now she was full-on snooping, on stuff from over a decade ago when they were dating the first time, and _this_ was apparently the image of her that Jade had wanted to look at back then.

Tori didn’t remember the exact instance, but given the way her eyes looked and the quantity of food, she was willing to guess it was one of the times they’d had some of her mom’s edibles, had sex, and then ate a bunch of food. She smiled softly at the memory.

But _okay, Tori,_ she’d satisfied her curiosity. This was still Jade’s PearPad. So Tori turned off the screen and unplugged it, sliding it and its cable into her purse as she gathered her belongings to go home.

-

It was late when Jade finally headed back to her hotel room that night. She had a text from Tori from not long ago informing her that she was going home, and Jade opened her phone to respond in kind, but a notification popped up, a request from her phone to download photos from her cloud.

Jade’s brow furrowed, but she didn’t overthink it. Her phone had plenty of storage space, and if any of her recent photos had been accidentally stored only on her cloud, then she wanted them back on her phone. She sent a text to Tori, informing her that she would be back at her hotel shortly. She was finally starting to fully adjust to the time change and was sleeping a little better, and she had a later start on Saturday morning than her other days this week. She was hopeful that she and Tori might have time to connect a little bit more tonight.

Being busy on set all day definitely made it difficult to maintain meaningful contact with Tori. It was something that felt obvious, like she should have known it when she was in college and Tori was in Canada, or at least should have been able to anticipate it with all the work she’d done on sets over the years, but somehow, it was really starting to hit her just how much she’d wanted from Tori back then that Tori just couldn’t provide. It wasn’t either of their faults, really, and even understanding it didn’t change the fact that Jade’s emotional needs were not being met as their relationship started to fall apart. But Jade was on the other side of things this time, and she could certainly see how hours in the day could disappear without a thought until you were longing for the other person with no practical way to reach them.

Like now. When Jade got back to her hotel room, it turned out that Tori was making herself a late dinner. Jade told her to just worry about cooking and eating for the moment, since she was going to have a snack, and they could talk afterwards.

Her hotel room had a minifridge that Jade kept some snacks in, so after changing out of her street clothes and into pajamas, she retrieved a cheese stick and an orange to tide her over until breakfast and settled on her bed, opening her computer in front of her. And okay, even if she didn’t particularly want to watch Tori’s face chewing her dinner, she missed her face in general, so she pulled up The Pleasure Professor’s SplashFace account. She’d watched a lot of her videos that first time she discovered her, but not really since, and she looked at the video playlists, honestly considering whether she wanted to watch her in Spanish again.

She blinked. The last time she’d been on here, she hadn’t noticed the video playlist section entitled _Sex Toy Reviews_. She really thought Tori just did the little blurbs on her Spectrogram stories, but evidently, she did _more_.

She clicked on the playlist and scrolled through curiously. A few recent ones she recognized, because she had seen the Spectrogram stories that had accompanied them. She scrolled down a little further, wondering how many there were, and her attention was caught by one from a couple of years ago called _The Pleasure Professor and Linzy Luscious Review the Foxtrot Strap-On_.

Okay, _what_?

Jade clicked on it.

The video opened on Tori giving what Jade remembered from the last time she watched the videos as her usual spiel--introducing herself as The Pleasure Professor and giving her mission statement (“I’m here to help you access your pleasure and enhance your sex life through education and exploration”). She briefly explained that she reviewed sex toys, emphasized that everyone’s bodies were different, and that her opinion was only one of many. And then, the video cut to an image of Tori sitting next to another woman, with short hair and tattoos, and Jade realized she definitely recognized her as queer adult film performer.

She remembered that she was supposed to be eating, and started peeling her orange, but her eyes never left the screen.

“So I’m here with Linzy Luscious, a friend of mine who is a queer feminist pornographer.”

“Hi!” Linzy waved with an inviting grin.

“And we’re going to tell you about the Foxtrot strap-on, which I have experienced as the wearer, and Linzy has experienced as the receiver.” Linzy nodded along eagerly as Tori held up a dildo with a flared base. “So this is what the product itself looks like. It’s compatible with a variety of O-ring style harnesses. I tried it with my BoiBand briefs harness, and it worked very well. Now, what makes this particular toy fun for the wearer is the texture at the base that gives the clitoris something to grind against.”

“On the receiving end,” Linzy put in, “I like that this toy doesn’t really resemble an anatomical penis. It has a pleasant girth and length, but also, it comes in a few size varieties if you like a longer, thicker toy to play with. And best of all, being able to watch your partner experience physical pleasure while they penetrate you is a definite turn-on.”

There was a telling quirk of Tori’s lips, subtle, but Jade could recognize it. It confirmed what she already suspected: Tori and this porn star had tried this toy _together_ , and were simply avoiding outright saying so. She paused the video to take in Tori’s expression, and to let it all sink in.

She checked her phone. There was a text from Tori indicating that she was ready to talk. And below that a notification from her phone that said _486 photos synced from Cloud_.

“What?” Jade muttered aloud, opening her Photos app.

To find a plethora of old pictures from late high school and early college had been added to her photos folder.

She had just begun to scroll through them in astonishment (a selfie with a lot of prominent cleavage, one with Tori kissing her cheek, a mediocre shot of a palm tree at dusk) when a call from Tori came through. Jade clicked accept, and Tori’s face filled her screen, “Hey!” she greeted, her relaxed expression turning quickly to a furrowed brow and a concerned frown, “Whoa, you look...like something’s up.”

Jade nodded dazedly, “Yeah, I mean…” she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “Two things, I guess. One is that a shit load of old pictures just mysteriously synced from my cloud to my phone. I was just starting to look through them when you called.”

“Oh,” Tori’s eyebrows rose, “I...think I might know where that came from. I charged your old PearPad.”

“You did?” Jade asked, “Wait, why?”

“I don’t know, we didn’t really get a chance to finish talking about it before you had to hang up yesterday, but it seemed like you might want to take a look at it when you got home. So I figured I’d charge it and see if it still worked. Guess what? It does.”

“I noticed that,” Jade said, amused. She should have answered the video call on her computer, because then she could see Tori’s face and continue looking at the pictures. “I mean...you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. I probably should have checked with you, too. But I also didn’t think that it would end up syncing to your phone.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then said, “When did you get a new PearPad? The one after this one?”

Jade shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably sophomore year.” She knew they were both categorizing this as _before the breakup_.

Tori nodded, “Your background picture on that PearPad is...something else.”

“My backgr--wait. You had to be able to sign in for any of this to sync.”

“I did, to update its software.”

“ _How_?”

“I tried your old passcode. 420726 still worked.”

Jade blinked. “Damn. I guess I’m not used to technology so old. I forgot it wouldn’t require a fingerprint or face scan.” She regarded Tori for a moment, “Also, I can’t believe you remembered my passcode.”

“It’s a pretty easy one, Jade.”

“I guess it is.” They were quiet for just a moment, regarding each other on their screens. Jade had her half-peeled orange in her lap, and picked it back up, propping her phone up against some pillows so she could keep looking at Tori. She was able to take in, now that Tori appeared to be dressed for bed, in a tank top, and was reclining against her own pillows.

“You said there were two things on your mind?” Tori prompted.

“ _Oh_ ,” Jade said, abruptly remembering, “Yeah, okay. So I was poking around on The Pleasure Professor’s SplashFace page.”

Tori smirked, “You miss me that much?”

“I’m being serious,” Jade said, though she was unable to hide the smile she automatically returned when seeing Tori’s. “But...yes, maybe,” she admitted, “But that’s not the point.”

“Okay, which videos did you watch?”

“Oh, I don’t know. How about one about a strap-on review with Linzy Luscious?”

“Oh, okay,” Tori replied. Jade could see her settling into her pillows a little bit more, but nothing about this scenario seemed to bother her. “And?”

“ _And_? Tori, you never told me that _fucking porn stars_ was a part of your work!”

Tori looked like she was struggling to keep her face neutral. “Okay, first of all, Linzy is a friend. Secondly...it wasn’t _really_ for work.”

“ _What_? Tori. What does that even mean?”

“It just means that we had consensual sex. She helped me with an Officer Pedesko scene, and afterwards, we were both pretty wound up. So we agreed to have sex for _us_ , and when we decided we wanted to have strap-on sex, I asked if she would be willing to review the toy with me. And she was game.”

“Okay, but…” Jade tried to figure out what about this was even bothering her. Or if she even was bothered. “Then you just...put it out there that you guys had sex?”

“We didn’t, really. Just talked about both sides of the experience of the toy. We tried to keep it so that we were talking about our individual experiences rather than what happened to us together, to keep it professional.” She watched Jade uncertainly, “This is really bothering you,” she observed.

Jade sighed, “It’s...I don’t know. I just wasn’t expecting to find out about it like this. I know some of your sexual history since we got back together, but I didn’t know about this, and it’s just... _out there_ for anyone to infer.” She considered what she was saying. “It’s not that...I don’t care that you had sex with a porn star,” she decided, “Finding out about it like this was what was hard, I guess.”

Tori looked a little hurt, “I’m sorry. I guess it just...never came up. You know that I’ve...had a lot of partners.”

“I know,” Jade sighed. “It’s stupid to be bothered by this. I guess it’s also…” she trailed off, remembering the time she heard about Tori’s strap-on experience with Addison, and that she felt a similar sort of slight discomfort with it that went beyond Tori’s obvious horror surrounding it.

“It’s also what?” Tori asked, sounding like maybe she’d rather not know.

But Jade thought this might actually be something worth saying. “I guess it’s also just...back when we were talking about some of this stuff at dinner with Sam and Cat, I realized...that I regretted that you and I never got to experience that. And I guess this brought more of that back, this reminder that it’s something you and I wanted but couldn’t make it work. And I know we both experienced it since, but...with other people.”

Tori’s eyebrow lifted again, “Are you trying to say you’re upset because we haven’t had strap-on sex yet?”

“I mean. Yes. I guess so. And now we _can’t_. Because I’m over here.”

Tori’s expression had relaxed into amusement once again, “We’ve only been back together for what, three weeks? And you’ve been gone for one of them. It’s not like we’ve been avoiding it, we just haven’t gotten there yet.”

“I know,” Jade replied, “I mean, everything we’ve been doing has been _great_. I guess I just...didn’t remember how much I wanted it until I thought about you doing it with someone else.”

“So, you’re thinking about that, then?” Tori asked, her voice changing in pitch slightly, softening. “What about that are you imagining?”

“Uh...I don’t know. Just that...you were wearing it, and…”

“Wishing it had been you there with me?” Tori teased.

Jade pushed out a breath, “Well, _yeah_. Or there right now, with you.”

“What would you want if you were here right now?”

Something about Tori’s gaze made her feel warm. Jade set her snack aside--she still hadn’t managed to eat it--and shifted on the bed a little. “I--I mean, I’d want you to...wear it for me.”

“Mmhmm,” Tori murmured, “What position would you want?” Jade’s mouth went dry, and she found she couldn’t answer, so, lip quirking, Tori offered a few suggestions, “Missionary, so you can see me? Or maybe you’d like me to bend you over and take you from behind?”

Jade groaned, completely reactive, “I...fuck.”

“Okay,” Tori drawled softly, “So I can bend you over...what sounds good to you? The dining room table? The kitchen island? Your desk? Over the back of your couch?”

Jade stretched out fully on her bed at this point, holding her phone in one hand and fumbling with the waistband of her pants with the other. “Back of the couch,” she got out.

“I like that,” Tori purred, “Easy for me to touch your breasts.” Her tone hardened, very slightly. “So I’ve got you bent over the back of your couch, hands all over you. Your hips, your back, your breasts. You look incredible. Are you ready for me?”

“Fuck, yeah,” Jade sighed, fingers slipping between her legs. She closed her eyes as she began swirling her fingers over her clit, “I’m already so wet for you,” she murmured, feeling herself blush a little as she said it.

“You’re touching yourself, aren’t you?” It was a mild change in tone, hungry, slightly imploring.

“Yes,” Jade opened her eyes to look at Tori, whose gaze felt like it was devouring her, “Don’t stop,” she urged.

“Oh, Jade,” Tori chuckled, “I haven’t even started yet.”

Jade felt herself clench _hard_ around nothing as she whimpered.

“I’d start slow,” Tori said softly, “Easing inside of you. Letting you tell me how much you want. How much you want _me_.”

Jade’s eyes closed of their own accord and she slid two fingers inside of herself at Tori’s words, inhaling shakily. “Don’t want slow,” she got out, though she was trembling, _aching_ at Tori’s description, at the mental sensations it produced. She was bold enough to say, “I’d push back against you.”

A satisfied grunt from Tori, “That’s it,” she encouraged in a smooth, silky voice, as if it were _actually_ happening in front of her. “You want all of me, don’t you?”

Heat rushed over Jade’s skin with the words, body flooding with sensation and need. “I need you,” was all she could think of to say, the vivid picture Tori was painting playing behind her eyelids, body reacting as if she was actually bent over a couch, Tori filling her, hands all over her body.

Tori’s next words were a whisper, so potent Jade could almost feel breath at her ear. “I’m going to start fucking you slowly,” she said.

Jade whined with need, “More,” she moaned through her teeth as her fingers stroked inside herself, every sensation making her feel connected to Tori.

Who laughed quietly at Jade’s request. “You’ll get more when I give it to you.”

Everything inside of Jade was heat and pleasure, her skin feeling sensitive, attuned to react to Tori’s touch that wasn’t happening anywhere but in her mind, but felt _real_ , her fingers feeling like both a poor substitute for what she wanted and yet like they were more Tori’s than her own, the pace of them as slow as the scenario Tori gave her. She whimpered piteously, already feeling orgasm building.

“Don’t want you to come too quickly, now,” Tori murmured, sounding a little amused, “You’re not going to come until I _really_ fuck you, are you?”

“I’m--” Jade choked out, “Fuck, I need--” she was _so close_.

“You need more?” Tori said quietly. “Let me hear you say it, and maybe I’ll give it to you.”

Jade opened her mouth, but all that came out was a groan that came straight from her guts as everything inside of her collided, her body arching, hearing Tori’s triumphant hum through the roaring in her ears as she came, body jolting, squeezing around her own fingers desperately. She finally went still long moments later, save for the way she was _still shaking_ , and opened her eyes, seeking Tori. “I-- _fuck_ , Tori,” she got out through another moan.

Tori looked smug, her eyes ravenous, “I could keep going,” she said quietly, “If you think you can take it.”

Jade’s whole body shuddered in a particularly sharp aftershock, and she was _tempted_ , but… “I’m...good,” she replied breathlessly, “I…” she couldn’t finish her thought. _Fuck_ , Tori was good at this, definitely better than when Jade was in college, when it was really the visual element that worked for them, or just talking about how they were touching themselves. Jade didn’t know how she was supposed to keep up with Tori like this.

Also, _wait_. Had that been Mistress Tawny just now? Had she just had sex with The Mistress? No, that had been Tori, she was pretty sure. _Fuck_.

“What about you?” Jade finally found her voice.

Tori smiled, “Oh, that was just for you. I have _plenty_ of inspiration to get myself off later.”

Jade wanted to watch. But, she was also hungry, and, admittedly, getting kind of tired. So she didn’t push, instead just teased, “Has your body pillow taken over my side of the bed yet?”

Tori seemed to look past Jade, and her tongue ran over her bottom lip. “I’m...not going to answer that.”

“That’s a yes, then,” Jade laughed, finally getting up to wash her hands, taking the phone with her, before settling back on the bed with her half-peeled orange and cheese stick. “I’m...exhausted after that,” she confessed.

“I bet,” Tori drawled, looking very pleased with herself, “Just wait until we’re back in the same space.”

“I kinda can’t wait.” Jade ate an orange section.

“If you want we can, like, pick out what you want me to fuck you with,” Tori offered as casually as she might suggest a Sunday dinner. “I have a lot of options in my closet.”

But Jade wasn’t sure she liked that, “Would I have to go on your channel and talk about it?” she asked; she was joking, but it came out a little sharp.

“Of course not,” Tori frowned a little.

“Sorry. That came out wrong.” She chewed another piece of her orange, “But I guess I kind of might want to shop for one together? If that’s okay with you.”

“That’s fine with me,” Tori nodded.

“I mean, I could still help you with the ones you have to review, I guess,” Jade offered, trying to soften her initial reaction, “I just don’t want to be the one to talk about it.”

“For the sake of being thorough, I do like to review a toy like that from both ends of the experience, though,” Tori replied.

“Then, I mean. I can wear it for you?” Jade suggested.

Tori’s eyebrows rose, “Oh,” she said simply, looking very intrigued by the suggestion.

“What?” Jade asked, “We tried to do that when we were younger, it’s not like it’s out of nowhere.”

“You’re right, it’s not,” Tori replied, “It’s just that...I’ve only ever been the wearer before.”

“Wait. You’ve never…”

“I’ve experienced plenty of penetration, just not in _that_ specific way,” Tori replied succinctly.

But then Jade realized, “Other than that one time we tried...I’ve never worn one. With Lana it was always…” she stopped, “You don’t need to hear about that.”

Tori was smiling, though. “I already know that, you did bring that up during dinner that time,” she reminded Jade. _Right_. Yeah, Jade had been _so high_ that night. “I guess this could be something new for both of us,” she replied, sounding curious and a little eager.

“Well, how would _you_ want it?” Jade teased, “Missionary?”

“Oh, I’d be on top,” Tori replied assuredly, looking amused as Jade grew immediately flustered at the thought, “So you’d be able to watch me.”

“I...like that,” Jade said dazedly, but she didn’t think she had the energy to spin out a scenario like Tori just had. She didn’t even think she could _say_ half of what Tori just had. Again, she felt out of her depth. “I also like the idea of something new with you,” she admitted, “Like...maybe this sounds dumb but I’d always kind of wished that you and I had done that together first.”

Tori’s expression shifted to wistfulness, “Me, too, Jade.”

-

Saturday morning, Tori started her workday by filming a Mary Jane video, just a kind of contemplative smoking session on her own, musing about the cyclical nature of time and pondering about parallel universes between bong rips. She considered as she was filming that she should ask Sam to come on and demonstrate her joint rolling method. Sam would probably be an interesting person to interview for Mary Jane’s channel anyway, given the way she occasionally used cannabis to help her find focus and balance in her life. But as she lay on the couch for awhile after she finished filming, letting her mind wander, she considered whether she might want an interview like that to be somewhere more accessible than a paid subscription VR site that was primarily focused on eroticism.

She was proud of The Pleasure Professor and the way she utilized that platform to bring information to people who needed it, and she was really considering the idea of accessibility with regard to some of her work. Ethical considerations were often something she examined in her occupation; it was why she regularly donated a percentage of the money she made from Virtual Encounters to activist groups that sought to redistribute police funding into other community organizations that supported social services, as a penance for using an eroticized cop figure in her work. And she and Sinjin were working on another project that she hoped would help people critically consider what they wanted out of their sex lives. As much as she loved her VR work, and the creative outlet it provided, maybe it was time to consider other things.

That award she’d been given at the reunion meant a lot to her, and was only reflective of part of her work. Maybe it was time for it to apply to more of it.

It was late morning, and Tori had some time for her high to wind down. Kwakoo would be going to pick up lunch for them both fairly soon (which was good, because Tori was _hungry_ ), and Tori’s next plan was to work on some more research and maybe get another Captain Catherine Obvious session in the bag if she felt up to it in the afternoon. But she wasn’t seeing clients today, since it was a Mary Jane day, and the rest of her work was pretty flexible. She decided to walk across the street to Static Roasters for some coffee.

She let Kwakoo know she’d be back shortly and headed over to the coffee shop. She was mostly in her head, the strong sativa she’d smoked earlier making her feel _good_. It was November, which meant the midday sun felt pleasantly warm on her skin in contrast with the slight morning chill that still lingered in the air. Tori felt aware of the pulse of the city around her, the flow of traffic rhythmic, the people around her like fish moving through the same stream as her. All her metaphors were mixed, but she liked them. She felt happy, a part of the world, alive.

She stepped in line at Static and ordered her pour-over, watching the barista make it with an unnatural focus, so it wasn’t until she turned around with her completed drink almost five minutes later that she saw Astra.

Tori stopped in her tracks. Astra met her eye, tilted her head slightly, and offered a brief wave.

Tori approached, “Sorry, I...literally didn’t see you there,” she said, wincing as she realized it sounded like a line.

Astra offered a half-smile, “Hey, that’s okay,” she replied.

Tori got the sense that Astra thought she was being snubbed. She laughed nervously, “No, really, I’m just _so high_. It’s, um. For work. Long story. But I was pretty wrapped up in my own head. Um, I can leave you alone, though, if you’re busy.”

But Tori’s confession made Astra grin, “I’m not busy,” she replied.

“Oh. Okay,” Tori hadn’t been expecting this, but she took the invitation and slid into the other side of the booth opposite Astra.

“So, you get high for work,” Astra began, looking amused.

“Yeah,” Tori replied, “I told you about how I make online media now? One of the things I do is a VR channel devoted to weed, where I portray a persona named Mary Jane.”

Astra nodded slowly, “I’ve heard of her! Didn’t realize it was you, though. I guess if I’d gone looking, I probably would’ve figured it out.”

“Probably,” Tori laughed, “It’s not really a secret that it’s me, but it’s not directly tied to my name, either.”

“Well, that’s cool. What did you partake in, if I may ask?”

“I had some Prophecy Girl today, smoked it as flower out of a bong. Which, I don’t usually _smoke_ , so it hits different.”

“It does,” Astra agreed, “Have you ever had--”

But the pressure of talking one on one with confident, attractive Astra had proved to be too much, “So, you know that Jade and I are monogamous, right?” burst out of Tori’s mouth before she could stop it. She felt her eyes widen in horror immediately after it.

Astra’s eyebrows had lifted high and she stared for a moment, “I, um. I do now.”

Tori slouched in her seat, hand going to her face in shame, “I...oh god. I just. I mean. I know that you know our friend Sam and I just--oh god. I’m not assuming anything, I just--”

But Astra was stifling laughter. “Tori. Relax. I’m not interested in anything like that with you _or_ Jade, I’m excited to have made friends. I wasn’t like, trying to meet you here or anything, I just literally live around the corner, so I’m here all the time. And even with Sam...yeah, we hooked up once, but since then, all we’ve done is hang out.” She watched as Tori let all that information sink in. “I mean, I’m not _blind_ , but I’m respectful,” she finished succinctly.

“I...this is about where Jade would chastise me for being _unchill_ ,” Tori replied, chagrined. “I’m sorry. I mean, I do think talking about relationship structure is important, but...man did I go about it in the worst way possible.” But even as she said it, she realized she was talking about this with the wrong person, because she and _Jade_ hadn’t actually discussed this. They’d been monogamous when they’d dated before, not that they’d talked about it then, it had been the default. And Tori assumed that Jade wanted the same thing now, but...they hadn’t _talked_ about it. And they needed to, even if it was likely just to confirm what Tori already assumed.

“Hey, no harm done,” Astra shrugged.

Tori somehow felt worse. Astra was so fucking unflappable, it made Tori feel like an idiot. Again, she had a thought about what might have happened if Jade had actually started dating Astra, and how it would have been impossible for Tori to hate her, even if jealousy and regret burned her alive inside. But something else about what Astra said caught her attention, “So, wait, you live near here? I work right across the street and this has kind of been my coffee spot for a while. I introduced Jade to this place.”

“Figures you both would have good taste,” she tilted her head to the side, “It’s weird that I haven’t run into you before, then, if we both come here a lot. I’m sure I would have noticed you.”

“Well, the coffee I brew at home usually tides me over for a while, and I do have a coffee maker at my office. I’m also not always...dressed for a coffee run when I’m working. I usually come here in the afternoon or evening to pick up beans, actually.”

“That makes sense because I’m usually working in the afternoons and evenings,” Astra nodded, “So I tend to come here in the morning. Still, this is a hell of a coincidence.”

“It really is,” Tori agreed, thinking of all the times they’d probably barely missed each other over the years. “I assumed Jade was the reason we met here before.”

Astra laughed, “I was the one who suggested we meet here for our one date, though she claimed she was going to suggest the same place. I guess I believe her more now.” Her smile turned more sympathetic, “How’ve you two been doing, anyway? Jade left for New York already, right?”

“Yeah, on Monday,” Tori replied. “It’s been okay. She’s been so busy, and with the time change and everything, she’s been exhausted when she’s had free time, but I expected that. I remember what it’s like to work on a television set. I miss her, though, of course.”

“I bet. Your relationship is pretty new,” Astra said sympathetically.

Tori cracked a smile. “I mean, it is but it isn’t. Jade told you we dated before, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s about all she told me.”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” Astra checked her PearPhone as if to verify this.

Well. Tori supposed she’d made a friend (who was also Jade’s friend and...she guessed Sam and Cat’s, too...kind of?), so Astra might as well know a little bit about the friend group she was clearly becoming a part of.

So she told Astra the story.

She was even able to mostly finish telling it when Kwakoo called her, wondering what was taking her so long when she was just supposed to be getting coffee. She told him she’d be back shortly, and hung up. “Uh, that was my assistant. I guess maybe I should be getting back to work. I mean, whatever, I’m my own boss, but...it’s also almost lunch time.”

“I’ll let you go, then,” Astra grinned, “It was nice running into you, Tori.”

“You, too! I’m sure I’ll see you here again.”

Tori headed back across the street, though she’d already finished almost all of her coffee. Kwakoo gave her an uncertain look as she came back inside, but she gave him a reassuring grin. They spent a minute chatting to decide what he was going to pick up for lunch, and then Tori headed back into her office.

She wanted to try to do some Pleasure Professor related research, but she didn’t have the headspace for it and, instead, wondered what Jade was up to. They’d texted briefly in the morning, and she knew Jade mostly had production meetings today and a table read of the script sometime in the afternoon. She also couldn’t stop thinking about her chance meeting with Astra, and the conversation she realized they needed to have.

So she sent Jade a text.

**Are we monogamous?**

She was just considering that she should probably add more to the question when she saw the ellipses signaling an incoming reply, which came rapidly.

**??????**

**Why is this a question?**

**Well I ran into Astra getting coffee**

**And I realized it was something we should talk about**

**  
WHAT?**

**  
Okay that’s not what I meant**

**I have a break coming up**

**I’ll call you**

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later, a video call request from Jade lit up her screen. Tori answered it right away.

“Hey,” she greeted, “Listen, I’m sorry that came out so weird.”

Jade was scowling, but just seeing Tori’s face on her screen seemed to be making her soften already. “Okay, but what the hell, Tori?” she replied, with hardly any bite to it, “Out of nowhere you want to talk about seeing other people because you ran into Astra? This had better be good.”

“That’s not what I want to talk about!” Tori protested. “Okay, it went like this. I got really high to do a Mary Jane video this morning,” Jade nodded as if Tori had confirmed a suspicion, “I went to get a coffee, Astra was there because apparently she lives near here, and we got to talking. And I guess I was kind of thinking about her and Sam because I kind of burst out telling her we were monogamous out of nowhere.” At this, Jade started chuckling. “What?”

“Sounds like a real _chill_ conversation,” Jade teased.

Tori sighed, “Okay, I knew that’s exactly what you would say. But my point is, when I decided to inform Astra of this--she’s not interested in either of us, by the way--I realized that you and I hadn’t actually talked about it.”

“And we need to talk about it, _why_?”

“Because we should! We shouldn’t just...default to monogamy without a conversation. I mean, Sam and Cat have a one-sided open relationship. Patrice and Janet are poly. We know people who make this work.”

“Just because other people do this doesn’t mean we should.” Jade said stubbornly.

“That’s...not what I’m saying.” Tori rubbed her forehead, wishing she wasn’t high for this conversation. She took a breath. “Listen, I’m perfectly happy being monogamous with you, but I also have other kinds of outlets, through my work and with BDSM in general. I’m not at all saying that monogamy is the wrong choice for us, I’m simply saying it _is_ a choice and it’s one we should opt into with full knowledge of what it entails and what the alternatives are. It...might not always be easy. And I’m realizing now that we might also have to talk about BDSM play _outside_ of my job, and what the rules are for that.”

Jade blinked, “Well, unless you’re planning to do any _extracurricular_ BDSM while I’m gone, I think we should figure out what that looks like for us before we decide what it looks like for you with other people.”

“I wasn’t planning to go to any play parties, no.”

“Okay. Because I don’t really want to take anything away from you that I don’t want myself,” Jade said reasonably, “But with regard to sex? I do want that all for myself.” She shrugged, “I mean, I know about openness, and polyamory, not from experience or anything, but I know they’re options. I just don’t think they’re options I’m interested in. You know I can be a little...jealous.”

“I suppose,” Tori conceded. Honestly, she hadn’t really applied that label to Jade for a very long time, considering it something she’d...maybe not fully _outgrown_ back when they’d dated the first time, but she’d certainly found healthier ways to express it. Also, the irony of Jade calling herself jealous after saying she didn’t want to limit Tori’s kinky play was not lost on her. “But non-monogamous people aren’t immune to jealousy.”

“Okay, maybe,” Jade conceded, “But...I’m pretty sure about this, Tori. I like the security of monogamy. I like knowing there are parts of you that are only for me.”

Tori smiled a little, “I do, too. I really just wanted to talk about it, because even when we dated back in high school and college, we never discussed it. We just assumed. I didn’t want to do that again. And I wanted to make sure that if you ever change your mind, that you know I’m open to talking about it.”

Jade raised an eyebrow, “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Tori chuckled, “I’m really not. I’m the one who practically screamed that I was monogamous in Astra’s face today, remember?”

“That’s a good point. Classic unchill Tori,” Jade teased.

“Shut uuuup,” Tori stuck her tongue out at Jade.

“So, I’d probably better go,” Jade said, “But I’m glad we had this talk? Even if it was the weirdest timing of all time?”

“Me, too. Let me know when you think you’ll be done tonight?”

“It’s looking like it might be earlier than last night. We’ll see.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you.”

-

The pictures that had synced over from Jade’s old PearPad had proven to be something of a treasure trove. The night she’d received them, she was too tired after her call with Tori to do much more than idly browse them, but in free moments during the day (when she wasn’t texting Tori) or once she was back in her hotel (when she wasn’t video chatting with Tori), she was looking through her old photos more scrupulously.

Many of them were bad, probably ones she had deleted right away but had been stored on her cloud anyway--blurry shots of city buildings, street art, sunsets. Bad selfies, either out of focus, or with Jade’s face doing something she hated. Some of her and Tori kissing, which...they never did figure out how to take pictures of that where they both managed to look good.

But a lot of them were interesting. Some she recognized as pictures she’d put on her personal Spectrogram back then, before she’d even gotten a professional one: the artsy ones, where she played with a lot of natural light and shadow, or with colors and angles on buildings, or with found objects like broken furniture and other kinds of city refuse abandoned on the street. She could see how she might’ve framed or edited them differently now, but several of them still spoke to her.

And a lot more of them were of Tori. Or her own cleavage, which she knew was related to Tori, since every single one of those suggestive selfies were taken for her benefit.

And there was not a single bad picture of Tori in the bunch, though she was sure Tori probably wouldn’t agree if she saw them.

As best she could recall, most of these pictures had probably been taken on her phone and then synced automatically to her PearPad, which had then been turned off for over a decade. After her breakup with Tori, she’d gone through and meticulously deleted every relevant picture she could find, including her own suggestive selfies...but she’d never considered what might be stored on the physical hard drive of her old technology.

Like the email Sam had failed to delete, Jade was ultimately relieved that her attempts to erase Tori from her life completely hadn’t worked. Because being across the country from her was the perfect time to delve into the nostalgia of their first relationship.

(When she wasn’t delving into the eroticism of their _current_ relationship, because those nude pictures Tori had left on her phone were _something._ )

So there had been a couple of evenings where she’d dwelled on their early years together, scrolling through pictures of Tori (a selfie with her tongue sticking out; one of the two of them together in a parking garage, a view of the city behind them; a picture of Tori playing a lonely ghost in Jade’s semester project; one of her reclining on her bed, giving the camera an extremely suggestive smirk; and these were just the ones from late high school). And after the nostalgia, she shifted to the present-day nudes of Tori, and spent some time with the vibrator Tori had given her on her way out the door. She felt a little guilty, that sometimes it was just easier to manage her own libido rather than to call Tori up and talk their way through their orgasms (though they’d done that, too, of course). But there were dual purposes to Jade’s orgasms--connection and stress relief, and sometimes just being able to relax after an insane day on set felt much easier to handle than the emotional element of connection.

(When she had the headspace for it, she considered, again, how her position here might have been similar to Tori’s in Canada, and how Jade wanting so much might have been unfair to Tori, who she imagined felt then much like she did now after a day on set.)

She’d often scoffed about the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” because in her experience, absence simply _hurt_ her heart. But then, there was also the way she was dwelling on how Tori had gotten her off just _talking_ about fucking her with a strap-on, and there was the sense that while maybe her heart wasn’t growing any fonder, her pussy was. Knowing what it was missing just made her long for it _more_.

It made her consider what else she might want that she wasn’t getting.

She remembered their discussion of monogamy, and how they’d acknowledged that their exploration of kink had only just begun. She realized that important conversations were happening about what they wanted, and that distance may even be making that a little easier, simply by keeping them from getting too distracted with the physicality of their relationship. Jade still wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted to explore on that side of desire, but she wondered if this would be an opportunity to productively discuss it a little more.

In the middle of her second week, which was the week of actual production, she was in her hotel room at the end of a long day, but it was harder to wind down for sleep than during her first week, in spite of feeling just as energetically depleted, if not more. Part of that was probably that she was sleeping better, so she wasn’t just fully crashing out from pure exhaustion, but she thought it might also be that actually _filming_ was more invigorating than the prep work that led up to it, leaving her with lingering excitement in her weary body at the end of the day.

She had Tori on her laptop screen, the two of them reclining on their respective pillows as they wound down from their day. The conversation hadn’t quite turned sexy yet, but Jade sensed that it might soon. She watched Tori, trying to figure out how to discuss what she’d been considering.

“What?” Tori asked, a flirtatious edge to her tone, “You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“You could say that,” Jade replied.

“Care to share?” Tori murmured suggestively.

“I was...maybe thinking about...those kink tests you and I took.”

Tori tilted her head, looking intrigued, “Really?” Her tone hadn’t changed much, was still a little sultry, but her expression was attentive. “What about them?”

Jade hated that it was difficult to talk about things like this. This was Tori. There was no one she’d ever been more comfortable with. She’d even talked about some of this with _Patrice_ , though in a much less personal way. But her own desires felt so new, it was difficult to articulate them. “Less specific things and more that...maybe it would be good to try to talk about some of what we want?”

Tori nodded, “I’d love to.” She regarded Jade for a moment. “You really don’t have any specific thoughts of what you might like?” she challenged, but her tone was gentler.

“I have...curiosities, I guess,” Jade began.

“Whatever they are, you’re not going to surprise me,” Tori encouraged.

Jade knew that was probably true. And she had several thoughts. But the curiosity that had popped into her mind most had stemmed from the Fet Ball. Tori--no, Mistress Tawny binding her wrists. So she finally said, “The bondage thing…”

Tori tried to suppress a quirk of her lips, but failed. “Ah, yes. The bondage thing,” she said airily.

“Shut up,” Jade replied playfully, but Tori’s teasing had broken the tension a little. “It’s not like we didn’t try this when we were younger,” she said, mostly to justify to herself why she’d brought it up.

“True, and I picked out _terrible_ bondage gear. A classic rookie mistake. Also, we got the dynamic backwards.”

“We...did,” Jade acknowledged.

“Though you _did_ score a little bit switch-y on your kink test,” Tori drawled, “So what about bondage interests you, _rope bunny_?”

“Never call me that,” Jade rolled her eyes. “But it’s...definitely you as the...top that I think about. At the Fet Ball…” she started nervously. She saw the way Tori’s expression shifted into something almost _feral_ for a moment. “Um, let’s just say your ropes demonstration...stuck with me.”

“Interesting,” Tori replied quietly, “I worried it had been too much for you.”

“Not too much, but...it was a lot.”

“I can relate, by the way,” Tori said, “Doing similar demonstrations with Patrice was how I started to get interested in BDSM.”

At the mere mention of Patrice, Jade braced herself for jealousy that didn’t come. Maybe it was because she’d talked to Patrice, knew that it wasn’t _Tori_ who’d grappled with romantic feelings. Or maybe there was some comfort in the acknowledgement that Tori, who was now a kind of famous dominatrix, had to start somewhere, too. “That’s right,” Jade remembered, “You started out bottoming, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Tori confirmed, “And, I think it made me a better top? Some people contend that all tops should start out as bottoms, so they understand what it feels like. I don’t necessarily think that should be a hard and fast rule for everybody, but I’m glad I did it. I _can_ do it and there are things I enjoy about it, but I never quite found the power in it like I did with topping.”

Jade digested that, considering. She knew she’d absolutely answered the questions on the kink quiz about how she couldn’t always be submissive, she liked a bit of both, but, at least with regard to bondage, she also didn’t know that she _actually_ felt the urge to tie Tori up. About the extent of her interest with that would be similar to what they’d done the night she left, when she’d made Tori keep her hands still. Because she _liked_ when Tori touched her during sex, she liked the connection of it, the reassurance, as long as she wasn’t being too distracting. “I don’t really think I want to be a bondage top,” she decided. “I think I might like it if you tied me up again, though,” she confessed, feeling her face grow a little warm.

“I think I might like that, too,” Tori replied softly. She wet her bottom lip with her tongue before it disappeared between her teeth for a moment, clearly relishing whatever mental picture she’d just conjured. “We should start with baby steps, of course. I could bind your wrists again.”

“I’d...like that,” Jade murmured, settling back against her pillows and watching Tori, whose expression clearly betrayed her arousal. Jade sighed, because Tori’s excitement was palpable, and she began to feel some of it run over her skin. “It’s a shame I’m all the way over here so we can’t start exploring.”

Tori’s lip pulled up in a smirk. “Oh, we could start exploring, if you want,” she drawled.

Jade felt the thrum of arousal at Tori’s tone, the power of her erotic energy already potent. But she laughed, “We’re going to explore bondage thousands of miles apart through the computer screen? Tori, I’m not about to tie myself up with my shirts or anything.”

“Nor should you,” Tori replied, “But there’s still something we can do. All you’d have to do is trust me. And watch.”

Okay, Jade was curious. “What?” she asked quietly.

Tori shifted on her mattress, “First, we should agree on a safeword,” she said.

“A _safeword_?” Jade asked, a little incredulous. “Okay, I get that this is standard practice, but if we’re not even in the same _space_ , what could I possibly need to safeword out of?”

“Mental bondage can be just as powerful as physical bondage sometimes,” Tori replied. “What’s something you’d never say during sex?”

Inexplicably, the thought of talking during sex brought to mind the dream Jade had after the Fet Ball, in which Walter’s rocket penis launched Nancy into space. Jade cracked a smile. “Blast-off,” she replied.

“Blast-off?” Tori laughed out loud, her seduction paused for the moment, “ _Blast-off_?!”

“Unless you’re actually planning to turn into Walter, I don’t think either of us would ever seriously say that,” Jade insisted.

“Okay. I like that,” Tori nodded. Her smile shifted back into a smirk, and she eyed Jade, warmth building in her dark gaze. “So if we’re going to do this, I need you to get comfortable, where you can still see me, and reach above your head to grab the headboard.”

Eagerly, Jade settled into position. The plain wood grain headboard of the hotel bed wasn’t very tall, but Jade sat up propped against pillows so that she could just reach up and grab it comfortably. “Okay,” Jade said, “Now what?”

“Now, you just watch,” Tori replied.

Jade blinked, “Just watch?”

“Just watch. Oh, and if your hands leave the headboard, I stop.”

“You stop _what_?”

In answer, Tori smirked and got up, moving her PearBook, judging by the way the screen shifted wildly for a moment, and then Tori was standing, framed from just below her hips up on Jade’s screen. Jade watched as she pulled her tank top off, not slowly but deliberately, and Jade was abruptly faced with her breasts on her computer screen. She inhaled sharply, eyes scanning the nude torso on her screen, and Tori let her leer for a moment before she began to tug down her shorts, bending over to step out of them, and Jade’s mouth parted slowly as she took in Tori standing naked before her.

“Tori,” she murmured, half shocked at what she was seeing but mostly _devouring_ the image. She had access to images of Tori’s breasts on her phone, but this was _more_ than that, and combined with the intimacy of their connection, even if it was facilitated through technology, Jade felt how strongly she wanted Tori. How much she wanted to be with her.

Tori stood for a moment, jutting out her hip in something of a pose, letting Jade look. Which was easy enough, for the moment, because it was all Jade wanted to do. But before long, Tori was leaning forward, shifting the laptop further back and climbing back onto her bed. Jade continued watching, flexing her fingers to remind herself not to move her arms. It wasn’t really _uncomfortable_ to grip the headboard, but it made it a bit difficult to relax, all the same. She watched as Tori settled on the bed, adjusting the laptop until she apparently had the angle she wanted, and stretched out on her back. Jade could see so much of her nude body, from her head to the tops of her thighs. Tori’s head tilted toward the screen, and she smirked, “You still with me?”

“Where else would I be?” Jade asked dazedly, “Tori, what are you--”

“Your job is to watch,” Tori interrupted to remind her, tone casual but effortlessly authoritative. Jade opened her mouth to say _something_ , but closed it again, because she wanted to know what would happen and realized it wouldn’t happen any quicker if she pushed.

And it soon became obvious what was happening. Not that it was really a _surprise_ , but there was still a thrill of shock as she watched Tori’s hands run over her body, fingers kneading her breasts. Her eyes closed, but only for a moment, because she stayed positioned so she could watch Jade. Jade’s breath caught as she watched the way Tori’s body reacted to her own touch, the definition of her abs as they flexed and released, the shifting of her hips, the way her back bowed up slightly to meet her own hands. She continued touching her torso, and Jade’s attention was caught by her nimble fingers, her mind mapping the path of Tori’s hands, remembering the way it felt to touch each part of her.

She flexed her hands again, so as not to lose her focus, because it was hard to not want to copy Tori’s movements. That had often been the protocol of their webcam sessions back when Tori was in Canada; they’d touch themselves simultaneously, pretending they were touching one another, but back then, it was much more about the power of suggestion than actually getting naked on camera together (though even then, there had been a few times when they’d been bold enough to get topless).

This was different, not just because she was forced to maintain her position, but also because of Tori’s shameless nudity, and the fact that, although Jade couldn’t see _in detail_ what was happening between Tori’s legs, she could see enough to know the precise moment her hand trailed past her hips and fingers stroked over herself. And not just because of the way Tori let out a shuddering breath. “Fuck,” Jade whispered.

Tori still gazed at her, though her eyes were half-lidded with passion. “Jade,” she whispered back, “I miss the way you touch me.”

Jade felt her chest swell with the force of the breath she sucked in, the words seeming to run through her mind and then settle as warmth between her legs. “I wish I was touching you right now,” she murmured back, hand grasping her own breast.

But Tori’s gaze turned steely behind her glasses, and her whole body froze. “Hands on the headboard,” she commanded softly, the disappointment in her tone palpable.

“Shit,” Jade cursed, because she’d so easily gotten caught up in Tori that she’d legitimately forgotten what she was supposed to be doing. “I--I forgot what I--” she stuttered as she lifted her hand to the headboard again.

“I know you did,” Tori replied, and Jade could see her fingers moving again, and her mouth parted as she stared at the way they swirled over Tori’s clit, a familiar motion. “You want to touch yourself, don’t you?” she asked.

As soon as it was spoken, the urge in Jade only intensified, because _of course_ she did, she wanted to feel what Tori was feeling, she wanted to feel like she would if they were together. But instead, her arms trembled next to her head as she gripped the headboard harder. “You know I do,” Jade growled back.

“But you can’t,” Tori replied simply, with finality, “Because your task right now is to watch.”

Jade groaned involuntarily at the implicit command. Her chest heaved with desperate breaths. “What if I can’t? What if I don’t want to just _watch_?” And with that, she sat forward, taking both hands from the headboard to take off her shirt, displaying her own bare breasts. Her secret weapon, she thought slyly.

Tori’s eyes fixated on them hungrily, but her hand had stopped its movements. And then her eyes met Jade’s. “Then that’s up to you,” Tori replied, her tone even and compassionate. “You know your safeword. But if you decide to behave yourself and _listen to me_ ,” she continued, her voice dropping in pitch, her tone alone making Jade waver, “Then you’ll get to watch me touch myself, the way I do when I’m thinking about you. And if you’re _really_ good,” she paused, her eyes smoldering behind her glasses, “You’ll get to watch me come.”

“ _Tori_ , I--” Jade whimpered, frustration and desire warring within her.

“What’s it going to be, Jade?” Tori asked, fingers absolutely still between her legs.

Jade knew she could use her safeword. But she’d also _asked_ for this. And though she knew Tori wouldn’t judge her if she tapped out right now, she knew she’d judge herself. She could easily do this. So Jade quelled the part of herself that instinctively pushed back against Tori and slowly lifted her hands again to grip the headboard, noticing as she did so that the decision had amplified her desire.

Tori’s fingers resumed their motions and she grinned, expression almost smug, “Very good,” she praised softly. “Now you get to watch.”

Jade succumbed to her position, hands still, body outstretched, eyes on Tori. She could see the presentation of her own breasts on camera, the way they would appear to Tori, and she knew they looked good, and she could see that Tori’s eyes were roaming over them as she masturbated. Jade couldn’t help but speak, “You’re thinking about the way you came on my tits, aren’t you?” she asked.

Tori’s back arched and her eyelids fluttered as she let out a low whine, “I am,” she confessed, though her eyes stayed open. “I’m also thinking about how good it is when you go down on me.”

Jade bit her lip, thinking about the sight and sound of Tori, the tug of fingers in her hair, the triumph of getting Tori to grind desperately against her mouth as she got close. She felt her own lower body react, a tingling of pleasure in her clit, her muscles contracting, but she kept her hands where they were, still watching Tori hungrily, wanting to put her mouth all over hard nipples, firm abs. She let out a shaky breath.

“But also,” Tori spoke slowly, lowly, “When I touch myself thinking about you, I like to think about you beneath me. My fingers inside of you, how warm and wet you always are. The way you kiss me, the way you start to moan when you’re getting close, the way you grab onto me.” She sucked in a breath, her fingers moving faster, “You look so fucking good when you’re getting fucked on your back.”

Jade’s entire body reacted, sensation flowing through her like phantom fingers over her skin. Her pulse thrummed in her clit, and she knew if she were allowed to touch herself right now, she’d be a goner, but she held the headboard, gritted her teeth.

“I’m so fucking close, Jade,” Tori whimpered, looking like she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

Jade couldn’t explain exactly why she did it, but she dropped her arm from its grip on the headboard. She was thinking of one of the last times they’d played a game like this, when she wasn’t supposed to move while Tori was going down on her, and Tori had been merciful, hadn’t stopped when Jade grabbed her hair. The impulse came to Jade suddenly, that she wanted to know if Tori would _actually_ stop now, and she had to test it. She _had_ to push.

Tori’s fingers lifted from her clit immediately as if they were pulling away from a hot stove, her eyes were wide, and she took several deep, shaky breaths as she stared at Jade. Her face crumpled, looking almost as if she might cry, and she swallowed and finally spoke. “So, I’m going to call you back,” she growled, reaching for the computer.

“No!” Jade begged, hand lifting immediately to the headboard, “No, no, I’ll behave, I’ll be good, _please_ , Tori.”

Tori took another deep breath to collect herself, and her face pulled into a smirk. “Do that again, and I’m spending the rest of my personal time with my body pillow while you’re gone,” she threatened, her fingers already resuming their strokes over her clit.

“I won’t,” Jade promised, meaning it, “Let me see you come for me.”

Just the words made Tori’s body arch. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she murmured, “Well, now I have to build myself back up,” her tone and her eyes hardened slightly, “Since I was interrupted.”

Jade suppressed her own smirk, “I just wanted to know if you’d really stop.”

“Well, now you know, and you don’t need to test me again,” Tori replied firmly. “And usually there aren’t rewards in it for people who disobey me, but,” her eyes lingered on Jade’s breasts, “I want to be looking at you when I come.”

Jade bit her lip, because she wasn’t about to admit it aloud, but Tori’s measured frustration with her was _hot_. She squirmed, gripping the headboard harder, wanting so badly to be able to touch herself, but her focus was on Tori, whose abs flexed and released with her breaths, whose breasts rose and fell, whose fingers moved so quickly that Jade knew she must be close, though she didn’t verbalize it this time. Instead, Jade spoke quietly, hoping it would help. “When I come home,” she said, “I think I want you to tie me up and grind on my stomach.”

That was all it took for Tori to let out a deep groan and begin shaking, her body jolting through undulations, her fingers not ceasing their movements. Jade was frozen, eyes glued to her screen, watching it happen and feeling her body clench in rhythm with Tori’s, her breaths match hers, and she whimpered out encouragement as Tori kept moaning, kept bucking, kept coming. Her eyes were finally closed, her face pulled into an expression of ecstasy, but Jade didn’t dare move her arms, didn’t dare do anything to disrupt the beauty she was witnessing, until Tori finally began to wind down, hand flopping onto the mattress next to her, head sinking back against her pillows.

Jade finally tentatively lowered her arms, seeing that Tori absolutely noticed the action, but she didn’t say anything at first. Jade began to tug at her pants, wanting them off, considering _maybe_ showing Tori as much of her body as Tori had just shown. “I’ll never get tired of watching you come,” Jade sighed.

“Don’t touch yourself yet,” Tori said.

Jade paused, having kicked one leg free from her pajama pants. She knew that she could just disobey, but she wanted to listen right now. “Why not?” she asked.

“Because,” Tori said, settling onto her side as she scrutinized Jade, “I haven’t decided if you deserve it yet.”

Jade groaned, “Tori, _come on_.” And then Tori reached over, and her camera feed shut off, leaving Jade looking at a smiling still image of The Pleasure Professor. “Tori,” Jade whined.

She could hear Tori’s voice. “What I should do right now is instruct you on how you’re allowed to touch yourself, while not letting you see me at all,” she said almost conversationally, and Jade’s heart rate sped up with just the implication. “But, the thing is, you and I never negotiated punishment. Which is a shame, because you absolutely deserve some after what you just pulled.”

The notion of _punishment_ made Jade squirm, and she couldn’t come up with anything else to say except to plead again, “Tori.”

Tori’s camera came back on, and there she was, still lying on her side. She sucked on her fingers lightly as she watched Jade, and Jade watched helplessly. And then Tori smiled, softly, in a way that reassured Jade, in a way that reminded her that this was supposed to be fun and _playful_ , and then Tori said, “You can touch yourself. Start with your tits. Let me see you enjoy them.”

Jade did, grasping them immediately, running her hands over them, gently tugging her own nipples. It felt _nice_ , amplifying sensations of desire, but it was really mostly for show, mostly for Tori, because all Jade was thinking about was when she would get to touch her clit.

Tori lay, naked and languid, watching Jade with a self-satisfied smile. Finally, she seemed content with what she saw, and she said, “Get out the vibrator that I gave you.”

Jade blinked, “I...might come really fast if I use that,” she warned. Okay, she was probably going to come fast no matter what at this point, but it seemed worth warning Tori.

“We’ll see,” Tori replied cryptically. Jade raised an eyebrow, but kicked her pajama bottoms off entirely and quickly rose from the bed to retrieve the toy. Well, she guessed this was the night they were both getting naked on video chat. She knew it was reasonably safe, but they’d been more cautious when they were younger. She settled back on the bed, adjusting her computer so that Tori would have a similar view to what Jade could see earlier. “Turn it on,” Tori instructed, which Jade did, immediately turning up the intensity to the degree she enjoyed. The little light next to the power button glowed green. “Now there’s a button next to the charging port with a square on it. Press that button twice.”

Frowning, Jade turned the toy in her hand and pressed the button she’d hardly noticed. The light on her vibrator turned blue. “Can I use it now?” she asked breathlessly.

“In just a second,” Tori replied. She was looking at something just offscreen. Jade held the vibrator in her hand, ready to press it against herself, when abruptly, the vibrations began to decrease steadily.

“What the hell?” Jade cursed, turning the toy over in her hand. She glanced at Tori on her screen, who was grinning mischievously, “I just charged this,” she muttered, “And it’s already dying.”

“Oh, it’s not dying,” Tori laughed.

Jade turned to stare at her. “What’s going on?” she asked dangerously.

In answer, Tori held up her PearPad, showing an unfamiliar app on her screen. “Well, you see, Jade,” Tori said conversationally, “You got to control when _I_ came, so I’m just returning the favor.” She turned the tablet toward herself and tapped the screen, and Jade felt the vibrator in her hand buzz harder for a few seconds before returning to its lowest setting.

Jade’s mouth dropped open, “When-- _how_?”

“When I borrowed your phone to take those pictures,” Tori smirked sadistically. “I may have taught your phone to recognize the vibrator with Bluetooth and connected it all to my PearPad.” Tori dropped her smirk and lowered her device. “I did this to surprise you, of course, but I was intending to roll this out to you quite differently. I just got a little caught up in our play. So we certainly don’t have to do it this way if you don’t want to. You can turn off the Bluetooth setting and the vibrator will work like normal. Or,” and her lip tugged up invitingly, “You can let me take care of you.”

Jade was torn with how to feel about this, but only a little. She normally didn’t like surprises, but this was different, because it was Tori, whose surprises in bed never did anything but invite Jade somewhere she absolutely wanted to go. And because there was definitely something fun and intriguing about discovering that Tori had control over her vibrator. The fact that Tori had planned ahead for this was the only part that gave her the slightest pause, but really, Jade didn’t actually care that Tori had done something so minor on her phone. They’d known each other’s passcodes when they dated the first time, she’d literally given Tori open access to her phone multiple times since they’d gotten back together. Jade valued her privacy, but there wasn’t really anything on her phone that she considered _that_ private.

Tori was still watching her, looking eager but clearly bracing for rejection. But Jade wanted to keep playing, because she didn’t think she’d ever felt so connected to Tori during long-distance sex than she did right now.

“I want you to make me come,” Jade finally replied. For a wild moment, she wondered if she should follow it up with _Ma’am_.

The grin Tori returned to her could power a film set. “I’m so glad,” Tori said warmly, “Because I’m going to make it worth it for you.”

Already trembling with desire, Jade settled more against her sheets. “Just tell me what to do,” she said quietly.

Tori tapped her PearPad, and the vibrator turned off completely. “You can touch yourself with it,” she permitted.

Suppressing the urge to roll her eyes, Jade brought the completely motionless vibrator down between her legs, moving it along and against her clit, seeking _some_ sort of relief. Just the presence and pressure of it was enough to make Jade’s breath catch, and she glanced at Tori to see she was watching with rapt attention. Jade felt like Tori’s gaze itself was warming her, the need in Tori’s eyes making her flush. It was like the charge she used to get knowing Tori was watching her do the yardwork, but a thousand times more potent. Like the recent night when Tori described fucking her with a strap-on, but even more intense, because Jade was naked this time, and Tori was simply watching, with the power to give Jade pleasure at her fingertips.

And abruptly, the vibrator turned on. Jade jumped slightly at the unexpected rumble of sensation, gasping. It was probably the lowest level, because it was barely enough to even make her squirm, but her body was so hungry for sensation that her hips lifted, trying to coax more out of the toy. Jade let out a soft moan, more of a desperate whine, eyes closing as she tried to focus on the limited sensation provided.

An audible exhale from Tori, and Jade could _feel_ the affection radiating from her over thousands of miles. She knew she’d made the right choice.

“Look at you,” Tori murmured, “You want more, don’t you?” Jade managed only an affirmative moan, and Tori said, “What was that?”

“I need a lot more,” Jade got out.

“Okay,” Tori replied benevolently, “I’ll give that to you.”

The vibrator amplified in intensity for a moment, so powerful that Jade nearly screamed and had to move it away from herself, feeling everything throb in its wake, but then it returned to a low setting, and Jade tentatively pressed it back against herself, turning to look at Tori in shock.

“Whoops,” Tori laughed mercilessly. Her tone and expression softened slightly, “I promise I won’t set it that high again. But I know what you need, so don’t go asking for more than you can handle.” She raised the setting in a couple of brief pulses of stronger vibrations, making Jade arch and moan.

“God,” Jade gulped, bringing her hand up to her mouth to stifle further sounds.

“Oh, and I’m going to need you to not hold back,” Tori said, and the vibrator buzzed stronger, “I need to hear that you’re enjoying yourself. So take your hand out of your mouth. Touch your breasts.”

The command itself made Jade groan aloud, and her hips were rocking, chasing the vibrations of the toy. She grabbed her breast almost roughly, pinching at her nipples in her desperation to find the sensation she needed. She was _so close_ to being close, she could tell, but she needed _more_.

The vibrator pitched lower, and Jade cried out in frustration, “F-fuck, I need--”

“I know what you need,” Tori interrupted, “I’m just still deciding when you get to come.” Jade whined and squirmed but she was speechless. Tori sighed, “You make it so fun to torture you, but…” The vibration setting pushed higher, “I wonder what would happen if I gave you what you need…” The vibrations got stronger, and Jade felt the telltale dip in her stomach, her hips bucked harder, sounds poured out of her mouth. The settings pushed just a little higher, and Tori finished, “And then told you _not to come_.”

But it was too late. And maybe Tori knew it, she _had_ to know it by now, because Jade came loudly, explosively, body jolting and bending, hips rolling against her hand, fingers falling from her breast to grip the sheets helplessly in an effort to brace herself against the mattress. She heard Tori’s affectionate sighs and curses through the roaring in her ears, saw a lightshow behind her eyelids, and was positive, as she started coming down, that everyone on her hotel floor had heard her.

-

Tori was elated, uplifted with the success of the encounter. None of it had been planned, most of it had been negotiated in the moment, but given that this was Jade, and that it was a new twist on some very old games between them, Tori felt very good about where they’d ended up together. Topping Jade from across the country made her feel powerful in a way that made distance almost vanish, at least for a fleeting moment, as if the desire between them had made Jade as helpless to her will as she might be in person. Jade had played along _beautifully_ , which Tori knew she would, and even the ways she’d pushed back had been exciting and interesting. The kind of challenge Tori enjoyed undertaking.

And now, Jade was slowly coming back to herself after her orgasm, lifting the vibrator away from her clit. Tori went ahead and turned it off for her as Jade fumbled with it clumsily, and Jade shot her a grateful smile as she let it drop onto the sheets next to her. The biggest downside to this was that they couldn’t cuddle afterwards, which Tori knew they were both keenly aware of, but she wondered belatedly if they should have discussed that first, before agreeing to experience something exciting but potentially intense together.

Jade, however, seemed to have a workaround, and grabbed one of the hotel pillows, holding it to her chest and turning toward her computer screen, gazing at Tori with sleepy, loving eyes. Tori smiled back at her, taking in her contented expression, feeling the soft intimacy of the moment enclose around her, another small instance where distance seemed to evaporate.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Jade said through a yawn.

“Do what?” Tori asked with a chuckle.

Jade shook her head, “When I made you stop before you came...I could never...you have _so much_ self control.”

Tori ran her hand through her hair. “I’ve had...practice. But let me tell you, you _did not_ make it easy for me. It took a lot out of me to be able to stop when I did.”

Jade grinned, eyes blinking slowly closed. “Sorry. Or, you’re welcome. I don’t know. It was kinda fun for me.”

“Yeah, because you’re a _brat_ ,” Tori smirked. Jade grinned at this, but didn’t reply. “It was really fun for me, too, Jade. Thanks for being...open to a lot of this stuff.”

“Hey, you make it easy,” Jade yawned again, “Plus I think we’ve always been kinda kinky.”

“I definitely agree,” Tori replied. She watched Jade, whose eyes had stayed closed, whose arm had tightened a bit around the pillow she held. Before long, her breathing evened out, her face relaxed, and Tori was pretty certain she’d fallen asleep. Not surprising, given everything that had just happened, the orgasm Jade had just had, the fact that she’d been working on set all day...Tori could remember some very blissful nights of sleep after spending some time with Jade on video chat, when she was working in Canada.

She lay watching Jade for a long moment, her steady breaths, her gorgeous pale features, dark hair a little wild around her, marveling again that Jade was hers. Almost a month in, and she still wasn’t quite used to it. She quietly reached over to mute herself so she could get up and pull back on her underwear and tank top to sleep in. Not that she was quite ready for sleep yet. She stretched out in bed with her book, eyes straying to Jade’s sleeping face every so often.

About a half an hour later, she heard Jade stirring, and she lowered her book to turn toward her again, reaching to unmute herself. “Hey, sleepy,” she said quietly.

“I fell asleep?” Jade asked groggily, sitting up and pushing her hair out of her face. “Fuck, I...fuck.”

“Hey, you’re okay,” Tori soothed, “Just make sure your alarm is set for tomorrow and go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Jade murmured, but Tori watched as she got up, redressed in her pajamas (she had to remind herself it was _cold_ there, likely too cold to really sleep naked on top of sheets--something Jade certainly hadn’t forgotten, given the way she’d dug into her “New York winter” clothes in the back of her closet when she was packing). Jade even grabbed the vibrator, presumably cleaning it and putting it away, before coming back to bed, moving the extra pillow, and settling down on her side facing the camera once again, bleary eyes gazing fondly at Tori.

“Get some sleep,” Tori smiled at her.

“Will you stay with me?” Jade asked.

Tori nodded, heart full with the sweetness in the request. “All night, if you want me to.”

Jade’s face relaxed into an easy smile as she turned to switch off the bedside lap then settled back into place, closing her eyes. “All night,” she repeated.

So Tori did, muting herself despite knowing Jade probably would not wake up to any sound Tori might make while she wound down in bed with her book, eyes straying to Jade, who was barely illuminated by the light from her computer screen. She enjoyed the lingering sense of connection, the modicum of aftercare that was possible with distance, dimly remembering one of the first times they’d done this, back when they were in high school, accidentally falling asleep together on video chat after talking all evening. Their relationship was still pretty new, their sexual exploration even newer, and Tori remembered the love that sang in her blood at that time in her life like it was yesterday.

Because in so many ways, it was; that same love was inside of her now, more mature, perhaps, but just as euphoric as a decade ago, and just the image of Jade on her screen, as dimly lit and incorporeal as she was, made her heart thrum with that same depth of emotion.

Eventually, Tori went to sleep herself, PearBook screen still open on an image of Jade, now lying on her back, sleeping soundly. She typed in the chat box briefly before turning over to drift off.

**Have a great day today**

**I love you**

By the time Tori woke up in the morning, the video chat window had closed, but she could see the message Jade had left in response.

**I love you, too, beautiful**

**Thank you for sleeping with me**

Tori wondered if she even needed a morning meditation, with such a great start to her day.

The first part of Tori’s workday involved a relatively simple Pleasure Professor sex toy review, for a toy she’d used in private a few nights ago. Her mind kept wandering to Jade, making her have to record more takes than usual, and she took scrupulous notes so that Sinjin, as her editor, could do his best with her footage. At first, it was because she was thinking about Jade in the sense of feeling so loving and connected to her, but as the day went on, the fact that she hadn’t heard from her aside from the message in her chat window that morning was starting to make Tori worry and second-guess things.

Had she pushed for too much last night?

A regular part of her job as Mistress Tawny involved checking in with clients after a session, either later that same day or sometimes the next day, to make sure they weren’t experiencing any kind of severe subdrop, or legitimate regrets about a session. At this point, most of her clients were regulars, and Mistress Tawny and her regulars had developed a strong aftercare routine that helped stave off subdrop. They had also developed clear and easy communication, so mostly their check-ins were simply performed through text, with some verbal affirmations and praise. There were definitely some times, however, when she’d had to spend some extra time on the phone with a client as a follow-up, discussing any strong negative emotions the client had, and occasionally, going over something the client had consented to as they planned their session together but about which afterwards they grappled with conflicting feelings. It was never anything that couldn’t be talked out in a way that left everybody feeling better--she’d never _traumatized_ anyone--but sometimes subdrop could sneak up on a person, and it was part of her responsibility to provide extra care and attention in those cases, if the bottom wanted it.

But Tori hadn’t fully considered whether this could happen to Jade, and what she could do if they were so far away when it did. Intimacy was so _easy_ for them, and the dynamics they were exploring felt so natural, Tori often worried they were letting things go too far in their play. They’d both consented eagerly to everything the night before, but what if Jade had regrets?

She texted her.

**I just wanted to check in**

**Just to make sure you’re okay today**

It was nerve-wracking, waiting for a reply. She reminded herself that Jade was busy, but every passing minute without a reply made Tori fear the worst. She managed to finally finish filming her sex toy review video, which took so much longer than it normally would, and headed to her office to start her lunch break early, unsure of what else to do with herself.

Finally, though, a reply pushed through.

**I’m okay**

That was...good, Tori supposed. Succinct. Or was succinct bad? She had a reply, Jade was fine. That should be enough, but it didn’t help.

**I just hadn’t heard from you today**

**I guess I was a little worried**

Jade’s next response was a little quicker.

**In case you forgot, I am directing an episode of television today?**

This was why text was so hard sometimes. Tori had gotten quite good at gauging people’s moods in person, but with something like that...it could just as easily be Jade lightly teasing her as mocking her. It was impossible to fully read Jade’s mood.

**I hadn’t forgotten**

**I just know last night got intense**

**So I was checking in**

No quick reply this time. Tori’s heart sank. She willed herself to find some distraction and went into the aftercare space to brew a cup of coffee for herself. Kwakoo would be leaving to pick up lunch soon and then Tori would have to figure out how to get her head in the game for her afternoon clients.

As she came back into her office, she heard her phone buzzing on her desk. She rushed to grab it, seeing the incoming call from Jade, nearly spilling her coffee in her haste. “Jade?”

“Hey,” came Jade’s voice, sounding concerned and a little tired, “I have a few minutes and it sounds like you need me.”

“I don’t--” Tori started, “I didn’t mean to take you away from work, I just...I was really just trying to make sure you were okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Jade asked, sounding confused.

“Because we played around last night, and sometimes when things get intense, it can leave someone experiencing negative feelings. And since this is new to us both, I don’t know what kind of threshold of intensity you have. So I was worried.”

“Tori, I’m absolutely fine,” Jade replied, and she certainly sounded it, “I mean...I definitely miss you more than usual today, if that’s even _possible_ ,” a dry laugh, “But last night,” her voice dropped, and Tori wondered how much privacy she even had to make this call, “was seriously _hot_. And if that’s what you can do when we’re on opposite coasts...I kind of can’t wait to get back to you and see what you can do in person.”

Tori closed her eyes, “We just have a tendency to negotiate these things in the moment instead of beforehand, so I just...I don’t want to overstep in my excitement to explore this with you.”

“But I’m excited, too,” Jade replied, “And I mean...so far what we’ve done has been _kind of_ things we’ve done before anyway? Just with more technology and more...dirty talk, I guess.” A pause, some muffled speaking, and then Jade again, “I’ve got to go. But seriously, Tori...this has been really great for me. I love that you’re the kind of unchill nerd who worries about me like this, but, you make me feel...safe, I guess. I’m fine. I’m _great_. I love you. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Thank you,” Tori managed, “I love you.” They hung up, and Tori blinked away tears of relief. But then, maybe her body had already decided that she needed a good cry. So she gave herself a few minutes in her office to do so, letting the reality of missing Jade so intensely fill her and pour out of her with her tears.

She’d always known it had been hard for Jade, back in college, to be the one left behind at home. But until Tori was in that position, missing that connection with someone who was too busy to fully give her what she wanted, she really hadn’t known what it had felt like. And they were only a week and a half in. Jade had felt like this for _months_.

It wasn’t worth dwelling on the past, so Tori didn’t. But she looked it in the face and acknowledged her mistakes and the futility of their past situation, all the same.

When Tori wasn’t working or talking to Jade, she was still trying to make the house a little more Jade-friendly. To make space for Jade’s shoes, she bought a boot bench that fit nicely at the foot of the bed, and she’d bought some additional under the bed storage bins to tuck away some of her out of season clothes (not that there wasn’t a lot of crossover between “summer” and “winter” clothes in Los Angeles, but certain pieces were definitively seasonal). She figured Jade might still need to keep a lot of clothes in the guest house, but Tori had at least freed up some closet space to give her the ability to maybe get dressed in the morning without having to go outside first.

It was easy to want to make more space in her life for Jade, with all the ways Jade was opening herself up to Tori.

-

The rest of the week was consumed by more long days on set that left Jade happily exhausted by the time she returned to her hotel room each night. There were plenty of texts with Tori and video chats in the evenings where they even managed to watch a movie together ( _Josie and the Pussycats_ was a favorite they'd watched several times back in college and, even now, they ended up singing along to all of the songs), but they didn't attempt any further virtual sex for the rest of the week. Which was fine because mostly she just missed Tori's company more than anything else (though if they managed a couple more of that kind of intimate session during this trip, Jade wasn't about to complain).

On Friday, Jade found herself calling "check the gate" (the outdated but still used on-set indicator that the shoot was finished for the day) for the final time on her episode. The next week she'd be sitting in with the editor as things were cut together, but they'd wrapped principle photography on the episode itself. Several crew members urged her to join them for a night out and she easily agreed as they were a fun group that she'd gotten to know over the course of the week.

They ended up at a piano bar in the Village, one Jade had frequented many times when she’d lived in the city. Both the bartender and the pianist recognized her, something Jade hadn’t really counted on, but after a couple drinks, they were urging her to take the stage as the overall vibe of the place was upscale karaoke where Broadway fans and veterans would perform back to back. Other than these kinds of situations, Jade hadn’t kept up with music performance, not at any level beyond singing in the car or shower. But she still felt the pull of it, the thrill of taking the microphone falling into the rhythm of the song.

She sang three times that night, thoroughly enjoying the cheers and applause that followed each short performance. While she had no shortage of positive recognition for the current work she did with literally hundreds of five-star reviews on Rate-It for her photography business. Even her movie still held around an eighty percent on most of the major film websites. But there was never a true replacement for the sound of instant applause from a live audience. Even when they'd performed in plays she knew were mediocre-at-best in the Hollywood Arts black box, the immediate gratification always made the production feel like they were doing something much bigger than a class assignment. Praise, in the moment, was something Jade had always craved but rarely had a chance to seek out, anymore.

While she was out, she’d texted with Tori a bit, but she was also at her parents’ place for the evening, so it had only been messages here and there. But when Jade was in a cab and heading back to her hotel, she tapped her girlfriend's name on the contact screen knowing Tori would likely finally be home. It was just after two in the morning in New York, so it was eleven back in California.

After one and a half rings, Tori picked up, her voice sounding warm in Jade's ear. "Hey."

"Hi," said Jade.

"You still out?"

"Heading back now."

"Everything okay?" Tori didn't seem that worried, but there was a hint of concern in her voice.

Jade chuckled. "Yeah. Just wanted to hear your voice, I guess."

"Aw, you miss me."

"Of course I miss you, you nerd."

"Are you drunk?"

"A little. You high?"

"A little. I just got home not that long ago."

"How are Ma and Pa Vega?"

"Oh my god," Tori laughed. "They're fine. They're so excited about your episode."

"They've never even seen the show. I mean, no one has. Well, I have. But it hasn't aired."

"Face it, Jade. You have fans."

Jade hummed. "Not as many as you."

Tori groaned in response. "Stop."

"Seriously, you should start working the convention circuit. Ooh! And do those fan cruises."

"Are you coming with me on these fan cruises?"

"In the ocean? Fuck, no." Jade realized her cab had stopped in front of her hotel. "Hold on," she said, pulling the phone away from her ear to open her PearPay app and then tapped it against the digital reader that showed the price of the cab fare. She added a tip, then exited the taxi. "I'm back."

"So," Tori lilted, "just how drunk are you?"

"I mean, I made it back okay and I can still walk and talk to you," Jade declared, nodding to the doorman who held the door open for her.

"Yeah, but are you going to pass out as soon as you lie down?"

"Oh, so you want to know if it's a drunk phone sex night," Jade realized.

"Just assessing my options."

Jade stepped into the elevator and swiped her hotel key card before hitting the number for her floor. As she moved up the dozen floors toward her room, she considered what Tori was asking. She always loved spending time with Tori, especially when it came to sex, but she was also at the end of a very long week. "I'll be honest, I'm kinda beat," she said, leaning into the corner of the elevator.

"Then we can just hang out," Tori assured her.

For some reason, that left Jade feeling warm (or maybe that part was more the liquor in her body), "I love you."

There was an airy chuckle through the phone. "I love you, too," Tori said. "You almost to your room?"

The elevator dinged as the doors slid open. "Yep." Jade strode down the hall to her room, dipped the card, and swung open the door. Once it clicked behind her, she twisted the deadbolt, then began the work of shedding her coat, boots, and heavy sweater, all with Tori on speakerphone. "This is one thing I really don't miss," she announced.

"You know I can't see you, right?"

"All the winter stuff. The layers. It's so much," her last words were muffled as she pulled the sweater over her head. Once she was free, she tapped the PearTime button on the phone screen, activating her camera and requesting Tori do the same. Once she saw that familiar face on the screen, Jade couldn't help smiling. "Hey."

"Hi," Tori replied.

-

There was always something very different about being able to see Jade while she talked with her. It was late there, Tori knew, so she wasn’t all that surprised by the image on her PearPhone screen--Jade had sleepy eyes, a lazy grin, and tousled hair, probably from whatever layers she’d had to remove once she was back in her room; Tori herself vividly remembered the way the wet winter air of Vancouver contrasted with the dry, hot air indoors, and the way it combined to turn her hair after taking off a sweater into a science exhibition on static electricity, ruining all the work she put into it. She was sure her own face betrayed her level of stoned, but she didn’t care as she grinned at Jade.

“I’m so tired,” Jade yawned, holding up the phone as she evidently shuffled around her hotel. Bright light illuminated her face for a moment, and then abruptly, all Tori could see was the plain white of a wall, or maybe a ceiling, with Jade’s indistinct shadow moving across it.

Tori frowned, but rolled with whatever was happening. “Tell me about your night,” she requested, eyes still on the screen, waiting for Jade to reappear.

“Well, we went to the piano bar,” Jade started, but then she paused for a long moment, in which Tori became aware of a very distinct watery sound.

“Jade. Are you in the bathroom right now?” she asked.

“No,” Jade denied at first, then, “Fine, yes. What does it matter?”

“Don’t you want to mute yourself?”

“No, because then I can’t talk to you,” Jade complained.

Tori laughed, “You are going to be embarrassed about this tomorrow,” she informed her. For as long as they dated as teenagers, and even sharing a bathroom now, this wasn’t something they’d done in front of one another. Trina had tried to insist it was not a big deal when Tori shared a bathroom with her when they were young, but Tori had always hurried to rush out of the bathroom to give her privacy. Some things were just personal, and she was pretty sure sober Jade would agree.

“No, I won’t,” Jade insisted stubbornly.

“If you say so,” Tori said, wanting to continue the conversation to drown out the noise. “So what happened at the piano bar?”

Jade chuckled, “What usually happens. Drinking, singing. It was a really good time. I’d love to take you there someday.”

“I’d really love that,” Tori agreed fondly. “I really haven’t seen much of New York.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to take you someday.” Finally, Jade was finished with her drunk peeing, and Tori could see shadows moving on what she now assumed was the bathroom ceiling, and could hear the sound of the sink as Jade washed her hands. The sink turned off, and Jade said, “There’s a lot I really love about New York, but coming back here in the winter reminded me of all the reasons I prefer LA.”

“I’m sure me being here has nothing to do with it,” Tori teased. Jade hummed noncommittally, and then Tori heard the distinct sound of her brushing her teeth. “Seriously?” she complained.

“Wha’?” Jade managed around the toothbrush in her mouth, “I ‘ave to ge’ rea-y fo’ be’.”

“You’re not going to believe you did this tomorrow. Left me staring at the ceiling of your bathroom while you peed and brushed your teeth.”

“I can see _you_ ,” Jade informed her, words garbled only slightly; she’d taken the toothbrush out of her mouth, clearly. “So now you have to tell me about your night.” The toothbrushing noises commenced.

“Fine,” Tori said, turning on her side in bed, eyes still on her empty screen. “Well, after I finished working, I went to see my parents. We had Family Pot Pie, which was _amazing_ , as always. Uh, Mom sent me home with some new weed lozenges to try. I had to cover my ears to keep from my mom giving me _Weed Wars_ spoilers. She can’t believe I’m waiting for you to come back so we can watch them together. My dad offered to take your truck out for a drive to keep the engine running well. I told him he knows as well as I do that isn’t necessary.”

“I’d let him,” Jade spoke after spitting out her toothpaste.

“You won’t even let _me_!”

“Yeah, I’ve seen you hit a wheelchair.”

“That was _one time_! I’ve had a clean driving record for over a decade, thank you.”

Jade just laughed. Tori realized belated she’d been baited into being unchill, but she was too high to do anything but smile about it. But then, her screen shifted, and she could see Jade’s face as she left the overly bright bathroom and went back into her hotel bedroom.

But then Tori was looking at a ceiling again. An even darker one. “What’s happening now?” she asked.

“I’m putting on my pajamas.”

“Okay, this part you need to let me watch,” Tori said, putting a hint of a demand in her tone.

“Fiiiiine,” Jade drawled, and the angle of the screen changed, letting Tori watch as Jade undressed, taking off her long-sleeved henley shirt and her bra, kicking off her jeans, and pulling on pajama pants and a t-shirt. Tori knew that Jade was too tired for anything to really escalate, but she enjoyed the opportunity to ogle soft, pale skin (especially her boobs), vividly remembering the way it felt to touch her, the way her body was always so warm and inviting.

Okay, Tori could (and almost definitely _would_ ) think about that later.

But to her surprise, it was sleepy, drunk Jade who steered the conversation in a sexy direction, after drinking half a bottle of water in one long pull. She shifted in bed to lay on her side, looking at Tori, head resting on her pillows. “I keep thinking about the other night,” she said in a tired, husky voice.

Tori knew exactly what night she meant and grinned, “Yeah? Me, too.”

Jade lifted her head, fixing Tori with a bleary but serious expression. “If we want to do some of this stuff in person...how would we do it?”

“We’d have to talk in more detail about what we both want,” Tori said simply, “Share our fantasies, find out where they overlap. What?” she asked, because Jade was smirking.

“I have a fantasy,” Jade revealed slyly.

Tori wasn’t surprised at this, but she also knew Jade didn’t tend to offer this kind of detail unbidden. “Tell me about it,” she encouraged.

Jade was grinning now, stretching lazily in the bed, then settling against her pillows, gazing at Tori with mischievous eyes that were nonetheless full of affection. “You remember that dress?” she asked. Tori must’ve looked confused (which, she _was_ , because this was incredibly vague), so Jade elaborated, “You wore it in high school and I always _really_ liked it.” She paused, smile stretching wider. “You wore it on the last day of junior year, when you got me off in the janitor’s closet.”

“ _Oooh_.” Tori definitely remembered _that_. The memory made her feel warm, made excitement leap in her belly.

They’d had a lot of hot makeouts in that space, but that day, with Jade’s surprise orgasm, was definitely the furthest they’d ever gone. It was something they’d talked dirty about during the many other times they’d slipped in there for a private moment during the school day or at school events. But with Trina at college and both of them having cars during senior year, they had more freedom to fool around in other places; besides, Tori didn’t like breaking rules and Jade was too anxious in general for actual _sex_ to happen in that space. Which, Tori reflected, was probably what made Jade’s unexpected orgasm on that day so supremely hot to both of them, which had left Tori feeling so desperately aroused without relief.

Because that was certainly something about that day that stuck with Tori. “So you mean the dress I wore when I had to take my driver’s test and I was _so horny_ when they took my picture and then that was the picture I had on my license for like the next five years?”

Jade snorted at this, “Yep, that one.”

But the dress itself eluded Tori. Even with the picture on her license that she was sure was burned into her brain (she’d really never known a _horny smile_ could be such a thing) she couldn’t remember what she was wearing. She tried to recall the dresses she’d like at that age. “Do you mean the one that was like...kind of a salmon color, with the black embroidery?”

Jade shook her head, “No, it wasn’t your _Fuck Me Hippie_ dress. It had like, flowers?”

“Oh, the one where the skirt had a different floral pattern than the bodice?” She really had been into florals her junior year.

“What? No, that sounds awful. It had three-quarter sleeves? Black?”

Tori frowned, “Like, black and white zebra striped?”

“No!” Jade insisted, “It was black with like flowers and three-quarter sleeves and a real modest neckline but like kinda short…”

Tori’s frown deepened, because she could only think of the floral dress with the zebra stripes, but _that_ neckline wasn’t what she’d call modest. And then, it hit her. “Oooh, yeah,” she remembered the dress Jade was talking about, “You _did_ like that dress, huh?”

“Mmhmm,” Jade hummed.

With all the talk about fashion, Tori almost forgot they were actually talking about fantasies. “So what does the dress have to do with anything?” she prompted.

Jade _giggled_ , a nervous (drunk) sound Tori certainly wasn’t used to hearing from her. “I always considered it your _Hot For Teacher_ dress,” Jade revealed, and Tori wondered just how many of her outfits Jade had a playful sexy nickname for. “And I...maybe had a fantasy about you as Teacher Tori, back then.”

Tori’s eyebrows rose. So this was an old fantasy, from when they were first dating, and Jade had somehow never mentioned it. “So what do I do as a teacher?” she asked.

“You know. You wear that dress, look really sexy doing it,” Jade deflected.

“Okay, but…” Tori watched her, “If I’m a teacher in this fantasy, then that implies that _you’re_ a student...so what do the teacher and the student _do_ in this fantasy of yours?”

“Well,” Jade said slowly, “Uh, basically...what happens is...you fuck me on your desk,” she finally stated quickly.

Tori smirked at this, but she had a feeling there was more to it than just that. Jade was introducing power dynamics into this fantasy, and Tori suspected that it might run deeper than simply who it was getting fucked. “So how does Student Jade end up in such a position?”

“Because you bend me over the desk,” Jade replied.

“I--okay,” Tori took a breath, because while that was definitely interesting, it wasn’t at all what she was asking. “I more meant like...what’s the scenario here? What’s the story? Why are Student Jade and Teacher Tori together?”

“I don’t know. I’m bad. I got detention.” Jade suggested.

“And Teacher Tori punishes you by fucking you on a desk?”

“Something like that.”

Tori laughed, “That hardly sounds like punishment.”

“I mean...other things could happen,” Jade muttered.

“This sounds like it might be one of those moments where you talk about me spanking you again,” Tori smirked.

Jade buried her face in her pillows, but Tori could hear her murmur, “Yeah, that sounds kind of hot.” She lifted her face, “I was an asshole in high school, I probably deserved it.”

Tori was no stranger to carrying guilt around for far too many years, and she wondered if Jade still harbored guilt about things she’d done when they were much younger, things Tori thought they’d addressed when they dated the first time. Maybe a spanking delivered to a personification of her younger self could be cathartic, but that also meant they should tread carefully. And definitely discuss when sober. But continuing to draw Jade out about her fantasies right now seemed safe. “So, a detention scenario,” Tori began, remembering more of what Jade’s quiz indicated she might be into. “What kinds of things does Teacher Tori say to you?”

“She...she tells me I’ve been…” Jade laughed bitterly, “I don’t know,” she trailed off.

They fell silent for a moment. Tori realized that whatever Jade was thinking, she wasn’t ready to share. It was late, they were intoxicated. Maybe it was time to back off. “We can talk about it later,” she suggested, “You should drink some more water and get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” Jade agreed, and the mood hadn’t really shifted, because she was no longer hiding her face, and was back to looking at Tori, soft eyes full of love and longing. “God, I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, Jade. I’m so proud of you that you finished filming this episode.”

Jade grinned, a full smile, unsuppressed. “Two weeks down. Only a week to go.”

“And I’ll be supporting you the whole way,” Tori promised. But inwardly, the sound of her heart seemed to echo the sentiment. _One week_. Just one week left until Jade would be back in her arms again.

The next morning, as Tori sipped her coffee out on the patio while Hamster strutted around the table, she sent Jade a text.

With the time change, it was nearly noon in New York, but Tori had a feeling Jade was probably sleeping off a hangover, so she didn’t expect an immediate reply. Later, as she dried off after her shower, her screen lit up.

**Nerds are statistically the horniest demographic**

**  
Oh is this some kind of scientific study?**

**From the Pleasure Professor?**

**  
Yes**

**I have over 15 years experience in the horny nerd field**

**  
Yeah I remember some of the early experiments**

**Like when I had to talk you into touching my boob**

**  
You didn’t have to talk me into it!!**

**  
Well you kept directly avoiding it**

**I just wanted to give you the all clear**

**  
I was nervous**

**  
Then you went straight from that to Boob Time All the Time**

**  
Not ALL the time**

**  
Tori**

**Your hands were like magnets**

**  
Well you have very attractive boobs**

**Get it?**

**Magnetic attraction 🧲**

  
Jade’s response was a photo of her bra-clad cleavage. From the positioning, it was clear she was spending the afternoon in bed. Tori replied with an image of her own, a little suggestive, but mostly just her face sporting a raised eyebrow.

They exchanged texts and pictures through the weekend, something that reminded Tori a lot of the early stages of their high school relationship, when they would message each other multiple times a day, but rarely speak to each other outside of class or group hangouts. Even though the circumstances were vastly different between then and now, there was still a similar sensation of delight in each message coming through, whether it was a continuation of an ongoing conversation or a snapshot of Jade’s diner coffee.

It was connection, something they’d once worked to build together that was now something they were preserving and expanding. They’d once fallen apart because they’d lost that connectivity, they’d underestimated the stress that time and distance would put on them. But they’d been drawn back together with something that felt stronger, more stable than before.

That didn’t mean Tori wasn’t marking off each day that passed until Jade was due to return back home.

-

The final week was busy in a different way that left her mind feeling wrung out from watching edited clips of what she’d filmed over and over again, but it was going well, and Jade tended to have time in the evenings to talk to Tori. Or to do more than talk, though her mental exhaustion meant that the long-distance sex they had that final week was fairly simple, more like what they’d done years ago when Tori was first in Canada.

Jade was originally scheduled to fly home on Saturday afternoon, giving her enough time to work as late as she needed to on Friday night and leave for the airport around check out time at her hotel. But even by Thursday evening, it was pretty clear that Friday wasn’t going to be much of a work day. Jade had a very specific vision for the episode she’d directed, and the editor she was working with, as well as the rest of the production team, were very on board with what she was trying to accomplish. They had made tremendous progress.

So by the time she had finished with work on Thursday, with the knowledge that Friday looked like it would be a very short day, Jade realized that meant that she could likely go home earlier than planned.

She almost texted her good news to Tori, but paused, considering. Jade didn’t often like surprises because her anxious mind preferred being able to anticipate and plan, but though Tori didn’t like being _startled_ , she did sometimes really appreciate surprises. Maybe grand romantic gestures weren’t really Jade’s forte--she cringed when she remembered the way she’d asked Tori to be her girlfriend for the first time, in a fit of frustration--but this didn’t need to be romantic. She could just imagine the way Tori’s eyes would light up when she unexpectedly saw Jade, the way she would grab her and pull her in for a passionate kiss. And then...well, the rest of the fantasy depended on Jade being able to pretend she wasn’t going to need a shower after travelling for at least six hours.

But yeah, maybe that was the kind of surprise Jade wanted to be. A _sexy_ surprise.

So when Jade got back to her hotel room, she logged onto the airline website first, to see about changing her flight to an earlier time. There was one available that she could switch to (her frequent travel for work over the years gave her a lot of airline loyalty points that meant she could do so for free) for Friday afternoon that would get her to LAX around 7:30 in the evening.

Perfect.

Jade kept her travel plans close to the vest, which was especially challenging, since she spent much of her evening on video chat with Tori. But she managed. It was an especially exciting conversation, because they both knew their time apart was coming to an end. Jade remembered acutely what this had been like, before. When Tori came home the first time after that summer filming in Canada, the last week apart had been a slow acceleration of joyous anticipation, until Tori was finally in her arms. Tori coming home for Christmas, however, hadn’t quite felt like that, not least because Tori’s arrival date kept changing, and Jade was forced not to let herself get too excited or she would end up crushed.

But she was going to achieve the opposite: she was going to come home _early_.

Though there had been a few sexy chats earlier in the week, tonight they just ended up watching _Serial Mom_ , in part because Tori pretty clearly needed a distraction to get through the home stretch until they could be together again (and Jade needed one, too, because Tori’s palpable excitement was making it hard to keep her own secret). By the time the film was over, it was getting kind of late, at least in Jade’s time zone.

“Hey, it’s after midnight there,” Tori commented.

“It is,” Jade confirmed, taking in the image of Tori reclining on her pillows in their bed.

Tori’s smile seemed to brighten Jade’s PearPad screen. “That means you’ll see me tomorrow.”

Jade laughed, “You’re right. It does.” It was truer than Tori realized.

“It also means you should get some sleep,” Tori said in a soft, affectionate voice.

“Yeah,” Jade sighed, “Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Or, you know, later today. We’ll be finishing up everything we can so I don’t know how late it’s going to go.”

Tori nodded, “I know. Just let me know when it looks like you might be done.”

“I will. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Tori replied with that same bright smile, though her eyes looked a little teary.

Jade couldn’t get home to her soon enough, and her excitement over the surprise she’d orchestrated made it a little difficult to fall asleep.

As expected, finishing their work on Friday was a relatively quick and painless experience, and Jade had plenty of time to go to her hotel, pack all her belongings, eat a late lunch, and head to the airport with plenty of time to catch her flight. She texted a bit with Tori before being informed that Mistress Tawny would be busy for the next several hours, so Jade figured that with Tori working and her “working” that she’d probably be mostly entertaining herself on her flight. Which was fine. She certainly had plenty of practice with that.

The flight was long (relatively, anyway), though by the time she landed at LAX, with the time change, it was almost like barely any time had passed. Jade had kept her phone connected with the plane’s wifi and she knew that Tori had finished work for the day, and would likely be home when she got there. She got into her WeDriveU car and began her journey home.

When she was dropped off in front of their house, Jade realized her first issue. In her imagination, for some reason, she was arriving home in her truck, which Tori certainly never missed pulling into the driveway. But, of course, her truck was parked exactly where she’d left it on the street in front of the house. So her fantasies of Tori hearing her come home and running to meet her in the driveway were...unrealistic.

Well, okay then. She also didn’t have all this luggage in her fantasy of being swept up in Tori’s arms and welcomed home. So Jade went through the back gate, eyes on the kitchen window to see if she could spot Tori. But she was able to drop her bags into the guest house without being noticed. Hmm.

Jade unlocked the patio door and stepped inside Tori’s house. She was pretty clearly home, given the fact that her car was parked in the driveway, but the house was fairly quiet. “Tori?” Jade asked tentatively, her voice soft to match the ambiance of the home. She didn’t want to startle Tori to _death_ or anything.

Tori was obviously not in the living room or the kitchen or at the dining room table. Jade started toward the hallway, about to call out, but then paused. Maybe Tori was working on something, even talking to a client? She probably shouldn’t call out. But she also wanted to know if Tori was in the bedroom.

A part of Jade knew exactly what she was doing as she approached the open bedroom door. Especially since, as she got close, she started hearing what were unmistakably sounds of movement. It was with a thrill of curiosity and a frisson of arousal that she peeked around the doorframe as discreetly as she could.

She was unsurprised, yet stunned by the sight of Tori on the bed, wearing only her underwear, eyes shut tight, limbs wrapped around her body pillow, hips rocking steadily. Jade could hear her breaths, the slight emphasis in the exhale both evidence of exertion and arousal, could tell by the physicality of it all that Tori was very much absorbed in her experience of masturbation. It was no wonder she hadn’t even heard Jade come in.

Jade was _definitely_ titillated, though also maybe a little amused, and also maybe a _lot_ disturbed by the way she’d decided to just _watch_ Tori, who didn’t know she was being observed, even if just for a moment. She quietly slipped away and back down the hall, trying to decide what to do, and ended up sitting on the sofa (as far away from the bedroom as she could reasonably get) to wait a few minutes (until she was pretty sure she could hear what sounded like dim, muffled moans coming from the bedroom) before pulling out her phone.

**Surprise! I’m home early**

She was pretty sure that even if Tori’s phone was on vibrate, it wouldn’t interrupt her masturbation, if she hadn’t come yet (and Jade was willing to bet she had). She waited.

Less than a minute later, she heard a voice call from the other end of the house. “Jade?”

“Hi, I’m home!” Jade called back, standing up from the sofa.

“ _Jade_? Oh my god, _Jade_?!” Tori rushed out into the hallway, looking like she’d just thrown on a t-shirt over her underwear, but Jade was barely able to take that in before Tori flung herself into her arms and kissed her soundly.

At the first touch of their lips, everything in Jade seemed to release, to relax, and she sighed against Tori’s lips, stifling a laugh of relief. She was _home_. Tori was still here. They’d weathered the distance, even made some discoveries along the way, and now Jade could bask in the love of her partner, in the poignancy of feeling, for the first time in a long time, what it was like to actually come home after traveling.

Jade was maybe realizing for the first time that home was more than a place. It was a feeling. And being in Tori’s arms made that feeling flood her entire being.

They kissed for a long time, Jade’s arms squeezing Tori tightly, feeling her desperate hands at Jade’s back, the urgency of her mouth of Jade’s. Finally, Jade pulled away enough to look at her face, the way she absolutely _glowed_ back at Jade. “That’s quite a welcome,” she managed.

“How did you even--you’re _early_!” Tori managed.

“Finished up quicker than we thought, so I caught a different flight. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you _did_ , you--wait.” Tori paled noticeably, eyes widening, “How long have you been here?”

Jade shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I don’t know. Five minutes or so?” It wasn’t as though she could hide the fact that she’d caught Tori with her body pillow.

“Oh,” Tori murmured, “Uh...well. I was...did you…”

Jade smirked. Flustered Tori was cute. She leaned in to press a kiss to her lips, eliciting a happy hum from her partner. “I’m just so happy to be home with you,” she sighed when she pulled away.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” Tori pulled her in for one more firm hug, brushing her lips gently against Jade’s, but then she said, “You must be hungry, and I haven’t had dinner yet. Let me make something.”

“Okay,” Jade nodded, making no move to let Tori go. Her smirk returned. “So, are we inviting your body pillow to dinner, or…?”

Tori groaned, but then straightened up. “Actually, yes. It’s time you met someone.”

“Tori, seriously,” Jade started, but Tori had already slipped out of her arms and hurried down the hall. It was Jade’s turn to groan as Tori came back from the bedroom, body pillow held at her side, “Oh my god, I was kidding,” Jade laughed.

“I’d like you to meet someone very important to me,” Tori gestured to the body pillow.

Jade shook her head in amusement, but played along, “Okay, yes, hi...what’s it’s name?”

“ _Her_ name is--” Tori paused very briefly, clearly improvising on the spot, “Soft Jade.”

Jade’s mouth dropped open in shock, “That is _not_ her name!” Oh god. She couldn’t believe she’d just gendered the body pillow.

“Shhh,” Tori glared at Jade and cupped her hands on either side of the pillow, as if covering its ears, “That’s so offensive!” She shot Jade a haughty look and walked toward the dining room table with her pillow, “Come on, Soft Jade. Have a seat while I start dinner.”

“Tori, I am _not_ eating dinner with your masturbation pillow!” Jade protested, though she was trying not to laugh. God, she’d _missed_ this ridiculous, absurd, _adorable_ woman.

“Since I’m the one making the dinner, I think I get to make the guest list,” Tori shot her a smirk. “You want to take a shower or something while I cook?”

“I really do,” Jade admitted, acutely aware of travel germs all over her, even if they were mostly in her imagination.

“Why don’t you take Soft Jade back with you, and it can just be us for dinner?” Tori suggested with a mischievous grin.

“The fact that you are _still_ calling her that,” Jade grumbled, picking up the pillow. “I guess I earned it, for looking.”

Tori’s eyes widened, “Well, I wasn’t sure you had _looked_...but I kind of figured.” She shook her head, “You can tell me all about it at our _private_ dinner.”

Jade sighed. “I missed you,” she said affectionately, standing in their house on the other side of the kitchen island, Tori’s body pillow held in front of her.

“I missed you, too, Regular Human Jade,” Tori smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Sometimes a Fantasy_ by Billy Joel.
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> “But seriously, what is it that you think about?” Tori asked.
> 
> “I guess I usually imagine getting spanked...with a hand,” Jade replied, “Is that a thing?”
> 
> “Of course it is. Though bottom asses can usually take a lot more than a top’s palm can,” Tori spoke so casually it made Jade blush. “But maybe a paddle would be a good place to take things. For a step above hand spanking naughty schoolgirl Jade,” she smirked.
> 
> Jade couldn’t really believe she’d told Tori about that fantasy, “Oh my god,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hand. “Fine, yes, a paddle, how’s this one?” she asked, grabbing a leather paddle.
> 
> “Wait, but hold on. That one has hearts on it, but you have some options! See, you can get one that says _Slut_ or _Bitch_ or _Yes, Daddy_.”
> 
> “ _Yes, Daddy_?” Jade asked incredulously, “Seriously, Tori, I’m not calling you that.”
> 
> “Oh, _I’m_ for sure not Daddy,” Tori laughed, “Just giving you options.”
> 
> Hearts were pretty lame. Jade switched it out for the _Slut_ paddle, trying not to blush. Tori’s phone buzzed in her pocket and as she pulled it out, Jade asked, “Well then who would Daddy be?”
> 
> “It’s Sam,” Tori reported.
> 
> “No, Sam is Mama,” Jade refuted with a snort.
> 
> Tori eyed her over the top of her phone, half-amused and half-impatient, “No, she’s texting me about Carly, not about your paddle options. She wanted to talk about our neighborhood because apparently Carly is thinking of buying a house near us.”
> 
> “Oh,” Jade said thoughtfully, “That could be cool.”


	15. Twelve: And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Side to side)

Waking up in Jade’s arms for the first time in three weeks made it almost impossible to want to get out of bed. She was pretty sure they’d spent the entire night wrapped around each other, not even bothering to pull back on pajamas after the low-energy intimacy of the night before (a lot of kissing and, yes, sex, but not really goal oriented, just about prolonging contact). In addition to her jet lag, Jade was exhausted from travel, and she and Tori got into bed early, even if it was a while before they finally wound down for sleep, both too happy to be in each others’ presence to want to succumb to it.

Tori lay awake in the dim morning light coming in through the curtains, listening to Jade breathe, remembering all the recent times she’d woken up and lingered in Jade’s arms: pretending to still be asleep so they wouldn’t have to stop snuggling when they were supporting each other through Grandma Jean’s funeral; basking in the glow of the first morning together after they’d told each other they still loved each other; and now today, reuniting after being apart for longer than they had been physically back together.

But eventually, she slid out of bed to brush her teeth and go start the coffee, listening to a morning mindfulness meditation as she did so, letting the ritualistic practice of pouring water over the grounds and as it brewed into the glass pot below be her present moment as she prepared for her day.

Perhaps summoned by the smell of coffee, Jade shuffled out of the bedroom before long, and after a good morning kiss, they put on enough clothes to take their coffee outside. Hamster came bounding over the wall, rubbing against Jade’s leg, demanding pets.

“He missed you,” Tori commented.

“I missed...all of this,” Jade waved a hand. “Not having to go anywhere to have great coffee. Being able to sit outside in November. Hamster.”

Tori waited with a smirk. “That’s it, huh?”

“That’s it,” Jade leaned against her, nuzzling her shoulder.

“I’d be offended if you hadn’t shown me how much you missed me last night,” Tori teased.

Jade just grunted and lifted her head to sip her coffee. Once Jade had finished three cups to Tori’s one and a half, Tori prompted, “Come inside, I want to show you something.”

“Okay,” Jade followed curiously as Tori led her back to the bedroom. Once inside, she raised an eyebrow, “What are you going to ‘show me’ in here?”

“Well, I did a few things in this room,” Tori began.

“If you’re talking about that bench or whatever at the foot of the bed, I noticed last night,” Jade replied, gesturing at it. “It just didn’t seem like the important thing to pay attention to.”

“Pay attention to it now, then,” Tori said, leaning over to pat the cushioned top of it. It stood a little higher than knee height, with two racks for shoes beneath the top. “Because it’s a boot bench for us both to use. For our most common shoes, so I can free up some space in my closet for you.”

Jade blinked, “For me?”

“Yeah. Come see,” Tori opened the closet door. “I thinned some things out a little, and this section is open to you. I also made some drawer space in my dresser.” She shrugged, “It’s not entirely egalitarian yet, but it’s at least a start. We can figure out how to make more space for us both. If we rearrange, we might be able to fit another dresser. Or even a wardrobe for more hanging space--mmph.” Tori stopped talking, because Jade kissed her, catching her off guard for a moment before she grinned into the kiss, threading her fingers in Jade’s hair to tug her closer, kissing back eagerly.

Jade pulled back long moments later, “Thank you.”

“Hey, it’s your house, too,” Tori shrugged, “Just trying to make it feel like it.”

“I know,” Jade replied, eyebrows drawn in thoughtfully, “It’s like...sometimes I’m still trying to get used to the fact that I have a home. Which sounds...sadder than I mean it, because being nomadic for work was entirely my choice and I don’t regret it. But I just got used to the guest house and now this…” she trailed off. “I don’t know. Just...thanks.”

Tori had given herself the day off, anticipating that it would be hard to focus on work on the day she was actually _expecting_ Jade to return, so they had a lazy morning to look forward to. She brewed more coffee while Jade unpacked her luggage and did laundry, and then Jade started going through her closet in the guest house to figure out what she wanted to keep in their bedroom. By the time she had a decent assortment of clothes moved over into the closet, her last load of laundry was in the dryer, and Tori entered the bedroom to find her staring at the floor of the closet.

At the bins of sex toys.

“See something you like?” Tori teased.

Jade turned to her with pensive eyes. “So when are we going strap-on shopping?”

Tori shrugged. “Got anything better to do right now?”

Jade smirked, “Can’t say I do.”

-

“I’m kind of excited,” Tori said conversationally as they approached the tinted glass doors of The Pleasure Chest, “It’s been awhile since I’ve gone shopping for sex toys.”

“Yeah, when you have a closet full already, I can’t imagine you need to seek much out,” Jade replied dryly.

Tori shot her a playful glare as she pushed open the door and held it for Jade to follow her through. Obviously Jade had been in the shop since they were college students, but walking into the place with Tori brought back a sense of nostalgia, anyway, and she remembered the eager excitement of being somewhere that she was so recently _not_ allowed to visit, and she remembered all of Tori’s nervous energy, especially when faced with Patrice ( _and Tori thought she’d been discreet about that crush_ , Jade thought, amused).

Which, Jade cast a glance over toward the section of the shop where she’d seen Patrice and, more recently, The Pleasure Professor leading workshops, but Patrice wasn’t there. Good. That would’ve been a little _too_ coincidentally weird.

But now Tori was the one who led them up the stairs, not even bothering to browse the sexy costumes or gag gifts that they’d giggled over when they were young. Jade figured Tori had seen everything down there enough times by now, and it wasn’t as if it held much interest for her, either.

But once up the stairs, Jade took the lead, steering Tori toward the display of vibrators. Okay, they were having _a lot_ of sex, but maybe Jade also wanted to check out her options. She wasn’t the one with a closet full of sex toys and she wasn’t about to go raiding through Tori’s (because she certainly didn’t want to be asked to review them).

“Anything I can help you find?” Tori teased in a professional voice.

“Just looking, thanks,” Jade replied in kind. “I don’t know that I really _need_ anything, but...sometimes it’s nice to have options.”

“You don’t really have a penetrative toy right now, do you?” Tori observed.

Well, since Tori had given her all (two) of her current sex toys...she was right. “I don’t,” Jade confirmed. She eyed Tori, who looked like she was holding back. “Fine, what do you recommend?”

“Well,” Tori drawled, “Why don’t I just point out a few that I think you’d like and you can choose?”

That was fine with Jade, and she ended up choosing one of the three that Tori recommended.

They circled the same clockwise lap through the store that they’d taken so many years ago. Tori stopped in the _Anal_ section, which didn’t hold much interest for Jade (what, companies didn’t send Tori enough butt plugs to try out?), so she moved ahead to the _BDSM_ section. She surveyed the displays and the wall of various selections, skipping over the masks, gags and chastity devices. She perused the bondage gear a little bit, grimacing at the cheap handcuffs and eyeing the collars and chest harnesses without much interest. The leather cuffs interested her somewhat, but honestly, when she thought about her desires, they were pretty fixated on rope.

Tori came over when Jade was looking at the sensation play toys. Jade glanced at her, “You already have a lot of stuff like this, right?”

“Sort of,” Tori replied, “It’s mostly at the Fungeon, to be honest. I have a couple of things I’ve been sent that I haven’t tried out, yet, but…why? Something interest you?”

Jade gestured toward the bondage gear. “I mean, you have rope, right? Because...I think I like that more than any of this.”

“I have rope,” Tori confirmed, voice pitching a little lower. “What about here?” she asked, gesturing toward the sensation toys.

“I don’t even know what half of this _is_ ,” Jade admitted, flicking at the tassels on one of the toys.

“There’s a Pleasure Professor video about sting-y versus thuddy impact play toys that I can send you,” Tori suggested with a smirk. Jade groaned. “But seriously, what is it that you think about?” Tori asked.

“I guess I usually imagine getting spanked...with a hand,” Jade replied, “Is that a thing?”

“Of course it is. Though bottom asses can usually take a lot more than a top’s palm can,” Tori spoke so casually it made Jade blush. “But maybe a paddle would be a good place to take things. For a step above hand spanking naughty schoolgirl Jade,” she smirked.

Jade couldn’t really believe she’d told Tori about that fantasy, “Oh my god,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hand. “Fine, yes, a paddle, how’s this one?” she asked, grabbing a leather paddle.

“Wait, but hold on. That one has hearts on it, but you have some options! See, you can get one that says _Slut_ or _Bitch_ or _Yes, Daddy_.”

“ _Yes, Daddy_?” Jade asked incredulously, “Seriously, Tori, I’m not calling you that.”

“Oh, _I’m_ for sure not Daddy,” Tori laughed, “Just giving you options.”

Hearts were pretty lame, or they at least didn’t match what she wanted in a paddle design. Jade switched it out for the _Slut_ paddle, trying not to blush. Tori’s phone buzzed in her pocket and as she pulled it out, Jade asked, “Well then who would Daddy be?”

“It’s Sam,” Tori reported.

“No, Sam is Mama,” Jade refuted with a snort.

Tori eyed her over the top of her phone, half-amused and half-impatient, “No, she’s texting me about Carly, not about your paddle options. She wanted to talk about our neighborhood because apparently Carly is thinking of buying a house near us.”

“Oh,” Jade said thoughtfully, “That could be cool.”

“Right?” Tori gushed, “Can you imagine being neighbors with Carly of _iCarly_?”

“I’m sure that’s how she still refers to herself,” Jade rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Tori, we’ve known her for a long time even if we haven’t seen her for awhile. How are you still fangirling about her? And you literally hang out with _Sam_ of _iCarly_ on a regular basis.”

It was Tori’s turn to look a little pink. “I don’t know. I guess Carly just...really inspired me when we were younger.”

“Yeah, that’s why you and Cat made those weird Slap videos whenever you had a sleepover,” Jade shook her head.

“You watched those?” Tori asked, sounding a little horrified.

“Of course I did. But that’s not the point.” Jade tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing Tori, “You totally had a crush on Carly, didn’t you?”

It wasn’t the first time she’d asked this question; it had come up before when they’d dated the first time, and Tori had always denied it or deflected. But this time, her eyes widened in recognition. “Oh, god. I did.”

“I _knew_ it!”

“Oh, shut up, this was like, babygay Tori figuring things out, it really didn’t click until...well, now.”

“It’s not _that_ much of a surprise,” Jade said, trying for reassuring, but she couldn’t resist adding, “Though honestly, Sam seems like more of your type.”

Tori looked at her sharply, “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Carly seems too nice for you,” Jade smirked.

“I have more than one type, you know.”

“What, so you liked them both?”

Jade was thoroughly enjoying ribbing Tori, but she should’ve known she wouldn’t stay on top for long. “If anyone had a crush on Sam, it’s you,” Tori accused.

“Oh, please,” Jade scoffed, “We’ve never been like that.”

“Really?” Tori’s eyebrows arched, “Because I seem to remember that the first time you hung out with Sam, you couldn’t stop talking about her for an hour and half.”

“There’s no way that’s true. And even if it were, there’s no way you’d remember the time.”

“Oh, I do,” Tori assured her, “Because we were watching a movie and you were talking through it.”

“That...doesn’t sound like me,” Jade faltered.

“It wasn’t like you _at all_ ,” Tori stated, “Because we were trying to watch _The Wicker Man_ and all I remember is,” she dipped her voice lower in an exaggeratedly bad imitation of Jade’s, “‘Oh, Sam drives a motorcycle, she loves root beer. We stole free food from kids, we poked a guy with a stick. She laughs when children cry. She loves horror movies.’”

“That’s probably because _The Wicker Man_ is a terrible movie,” Jade defended weakly.

“I wouldn’t know,” Tori smirked, “Because all I remember is your budding romance with Sam.”

“Yeah, but,” Jade started, “But we talked about this. Back then.”

“We did,” Tori smiled, an actual reassurance among all the mutual teasing, “And I believed you when you said you two were just friends and I didn’t have anything to worry about. And I _still_ do. But...can you honestly tell me there wasn’t a spark there?” she probed.

“I...don’t know,” Jade admitted. It was hard to remember _what_ was going through her mind when she met Sam. Her relationship with Tori had still been pretty new, less than a year in, and in relationships, Jade tended to focus heavily and solely on her partner. And even though Sam and Cat weren’t together yet, Jade was already seeing the potential between them. So much time had passed, and Sam and Cat had weathered all of it as the most stable couple Jade knew, for all their quirks and struggles. In spite of their one-sided open relationship, it was hard to imagine a world in which she and Sam were anything _but_ friends. She finally said, “I think if there was any kind of spark, it was excitement at meeting a friend who really got me.”

“Okay,” Tori acquiesced. “That makes sense to me.” But Jade supposed her point had been made about reassessing old connections and discovering forgotten feelings (even if Jade hadn’t discovered anything she’d forgotten about Sam). Old crushes sometimes lingered in the blood, passing through the heart in a diluted form from time to time, but they paled in comparison to what Tori and Jade had. Because Tori had been far more than a crush, and as ridiculous as it seemed sometimes, with so much time and distance between them, Jade didn’t think Tori had ever fully left her heart.

But they were literally standing in the BDSM section of an adult toy store, arguing over who’d had a crush on which _iCarly_ star. It was a little ridiculous, but refocusing on her surroundings reminded Jade that they were on a mission. And so, carrying a spanking paddle in one hand and an internal vibrator in the other, Jade led the way to the rear of the store where the strap-on harnesses and dildos were on display.

“You’re going to need a harness,” Tori pointed out as they got close.

Jade nodded, “I guess you’re right.” She steered toward the corner display of harnesses and stopped, scrutinizing the selection, Tori next to her. “What do you use?” she asked.

Tori pointed to a harness that looked like a regular pair of underwear with an O-ring on the front. “These. The strap look can be sexy on some people, but I prefer something like this for comfort and stability.”

Jade nodded thoughtfully. “The straps on the one we tried in college were _really_ annoying.”

“It was also a piece of shit,” Tori said bluntly, making Jade snort.

“I think I could be happy with something like that,” Jade picked up a package, assessing the sizing on it, and between the two of them--with Tori’s insider knowledge of how the sizes of the harnesses tended to run small--they picked out a harness in Jade’s size.

Then, it was time to shop for a dildo, because that was really the purpose of the trip. Jade wanted to choose what Tori was going to penetrate her with. She remembered the similar trip in college, in which they’d size-shamed the dildos with a complete stranger, and then Jade had hurried to choose a strap-on because of feeling awkward when faced with a salesperson and also feeling the constraint of their budget. But now, she was here with an utterly shameless Tori, and while they certainly had budgets, like, in life in general, they had a lot more money to spend on sex toys as adults.

And Jade certainly had more experience with penetration to know what she liked in a toy, as well.

But as she browsed the selection, searching for something approximating the length and girth she knew she enjoyed, something else occurred to her. Tori was browsing dildos, too, and Jade wondered if she already had something at home she liked or if she was getting a new toy, too. But also, Jade wanted to know about her experience as the wearer.

She approached Tori, standing on the other side of a low shelf of dildos with several displays on top. “When you told that one story over dinner,” she started, choosing her words carefully, “About...the surprise strap-on experience you had. It sounded like you were able to get off from wearing a strap-on.”

Tori’s gaze flicked up to meet hers, lip quirking a little. “Sometimes I can, yes.”

“What...uh. What works for you?” Jade wondered, because the idea of it was very appealing to her.

Tori shrugged, “Sometimes it’s just the mental aspect of it. But if you watched that Pleasure Professor video, then you know that sometimes those toys with texture you can grind against helps.” She scrutinized Jade for a moment, “Are you asking as the wearer or the receiver?” 

“Both, I guess,” Jade admitted. The way Tori talked about Jade as the wearer, Jade assumed she would just end up fucking Tori with whatever toys she needed to review. But she remembered this was sort of new for Tori, too, and maybe, at least to start, it could be something just for _them_.

“Because for _you_ ,” Tori said, “Since penetration often facilitates your orgasms, I’d suggest one of the ones that has an internal component for the wearer. Like…” she began to walk down the row, and then turned to the display wall, “One of these.”

Jade circled around the low shelves to see what Tori was indicating. There were some dildos that had a kind of bulb shape on the other end, or others that basically looked like double sided dildos shaped to fit a strap-on harness.

With the information in mind, she and Tori selected one with the suggested internal part for Jade to wear, and one with a textured base for Tori to wear, and then took their purchases to the cashier. It was pricey--Jade in college could _never_ have afforded it--but between the two of them and with Tori’s discount code, the price was something Jade could feel good about.

They were preparing to embark on sexual adventures together, to try things they’d never had a chance to do when they were younger, and Jade would pay almost anything to be able to do that with Tori, to make up for all the regrets she had about things ending too soon between them before.

-

They didn’t play with any strap-ons that night, which Tori anticipated. Jade was still adjusting to her jet lag, and after dealing with her laundry and deciding on a few more articles of clothing to keep in the bedroom, she was pretty wiped out. They spent the evening catching up on _Weed Wars_ , which had just finished its run. By the final episode, it was clear it was either going to be a victory for Holly or a tie, and, of course, Holly was declared the winner. Tori had a hunch that if it had ended in a tie or, god forbid, if Bambi Sterling had won, her mother wouldn’t have been so eager for them all to watch.

After almost four hours on the couch, Jade seemed almost incapable of moving. Tori was just glad she’d managed to stay awake for it. In fact, Jade was pushing herself to stay awake, trying to regain the rhythm of her west coast days. Tori was very happy that Jade had taken the directing opportunity, but she also selfishly hoped that extended trips to New York wouldn’t become a regular part of her career (unless Tori could come with her).

Sunday morning was similar, with morning cuddling, coffee, then Jade watched Tori do some yoga, and then Tori watched Jade mow the lawn. But as much as they clearly enjoyed ogling each other, Jade seemed determined to have a productive day. She set up at the dining room table with her laptop, saying she had a lot of work emails to catch up on.

Well, Tori was good at entertaining herself, so she read on the couch for awhile. Tori knew that even with coming home, Jade still wasn’t quite finished with work associated with the episode she’d directed, either, and she supposed Jade really hadn’t had time to spend on her photography/videography business while she was busy in New York. She was content to just be in the same space as Jade while she worked.

Eventually, it was time to start Sunday dinner, and Jade seemed content to wrap up her work in time to assist. Tori was making some vegetable fried rice, which meant lots of veggies to slice and multiple pans cooking at once, so an extra pair of hands and eyes was helpful. When they took dinner out onto the patio--Tori was especially grateful for the lights, now that it was getting dark so much earlier--they settled on opposite sides of the picnic table, in contrast to the way they sat during morning coffee.

They began to eat, Jade nodding her approval at the dish, and Tori asked, “Did you get caught up on work today?”

Jade nodded. “Yep. Had to get ready for a busy weekend next week.”

Tori paused, “Next weekend?” she asked, “You’re talking about Thanksgiving weekend.”

“Yeah,” Jade drawled, squinting a little. “It’s kind of a good time to get a lot of work. People have their families all together and want to get portraits done for Christmas cards and that kind of nonsense.”

Tori sighed. “That kind of sucks because I gave myself that weekend off.”

“Oh,” was all Jade said.

The silence stretched, until finally Tori repeated, “Oh?”

“Well, what do you want me to say, Tori? You didn’t tell me we had plans for that weekend, and it’s a good time for me to book work.”

Tori sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation, though she was mostly frustrated with herself. Jade was right that she hadn’t communicated, and she couldn’t fault her for taking work when it was plentiful. “I didn’t make plans, I just wasn’t expecting it, is all,” Tori explained, “The holidays are...a weird time for my work. Some people need some extra time with The Mistress to deal with the stress, but a lot of people are just plain too busy.” She laughed, “January is my busy time.”

“I’ll bet,” Jade chuckled. She shook her head, “I’m also not really used to talking about my work plans with anyone else,” she admitted. “But we can talk about it now. I have a lot of work booked for Thanksgiving weekend. And for the week after. But aside from that? I’m going to take it easy for most of December. I made some good money directing the episode and catching these photography jobs should set me up pretty well.”

Tori nodded, “Okay. That sounds good. As long as you have Thanksgiving itself. We’re staying the night at my parents’, you know.”

Jade eyed her, “Yeah, I know how a Vega Thanksgiving goes. I was there the first year your mom made medicated gravy and then our moms stripped and got into the jacuzzi.”

Tori shuddered, “Trina brought that up when I asked her what she was bringing for Thanksgiving potluck.”

“Be glad you missed that year. It was traumatic.”

Tori scrunched up her face thoughtfully, remembering hearing from her mom at the time about the medicated gravy _without_ any of the details of nude jacuzzi experiences. “Pretty sure that was the year I went to one of those ‘displaced Americans in Canada’ Thanksgiving celebrations and then ended up going on a date with some guy.”

“You _what_?” Jade replied, half-scandalized and half-amused.

Tori nodded, “You’d know who he was, actually, he was on _Whisper Creek_ , he played Connor, that werewolf who got killed?”

Jade nodded, “Ohh, right, okay, I can _totally_ see how _he_ landed a date with a lesbian,” she said sarcastically.

“I was bored, and lonely, and he was nice. But I realized pretty quickly it wasn’t going to work when he kissed me and I groped for a boob that wasn’t there.”

Jade had to get up from the picnic table and walk away, she was laughing so hard.

-

By Monday, Jade felt like she’d recovered from her jet lag. Which was good, because she had work to do. She was still in communication with the showrunners and the production team for _Warehouse District_ and was providing input for decisions on her episode. She already had some photography work lined up, as well. It was shaping up to be a busy week, and it sounded like Tori might be in the same boat.

For all Jade’s traveling over the years, jet lag wasn’t something she was used to as much, since she’d stayed mainly on the east coast, with only brief journeys back to LA. She’d been so drained over the weekend that, aside from the soft, lazy intimacy they’d shared the night she came home, they hadn’t had any of the crazy sex they’d been talking up to one another for three weeks. Which was understandable, Jade knew. She’d also come home and almost interrupted Tori masturbating, so she could be reasonably certain neither of them were dying for an orgasm.

But, especially after their trip to The Pleasure Chest on Saturday, sex was definitely on Jade’s mind, even if she couldn’t say she was particularly in the mood for it.

By the time she came home Monday evening, she and Tori had both worked late (Tori on another Officer Pedesko scene) so Jade picked up pizza on the way home so that they could both relax that evening without having to worry a lot about dinner. Though as they ate pizza on the patio together, Jade had to admit that even though it was good, she greatly missed New York’s pizza already.

But, long days, tired bodies (Tori from an extra long day full of dominating people, Jade from lugging around equipment she hadn’t had to haul for a few weeks), and indulging in half a pizza each didn’t exactly set the conditions for a sexy evening. Still, Jade wanted Tori to know she was thinking about it, especially since they’d gone through all the trouble to get everything they’d need.

They cuddled on the couch after dinner, and Jade confessed, “I’ve been thinking a lot about you fucking me.”

Tori stirred, lifting her head with a smirk. “Oh?”

“I guess it’s more accurate to say I haven’t really _stopped_ thinking about it,” Jade amended.

Tori settled back against her shoulder, fingers trailing over the bare skin of Jade’s arm. “Me neither,” she sighed. “I’m in no rush,” she assured.

“I’m...in a reasonable amount of rush,” Jade said.

“Yeah, I know, but...it’s a holiday week, we’re both busy. Since you told me about taking it easy in December, I’ve more or less decided to do the same thing,” Tori informed her, “I’ll still be meeting with clients who need me, but while you were gone I got a lot of work done for Virtual Encounters and The Pleasure Professor, so I can ease up a little on those obligations for awhile.”

“Really?” it was Jade’s turn to lift her head and meet Tori’s eyes.

Tori leaned up to kiss her briefly. “Really. So I’m not worried. We’re going to have plenty of time to explore. No need to rush anything.”

Jade sighed, “Except that I _want it_ ,” she whined.

Tori chuckled into her neck, and then Jade felt lips softly pressing against her pulse point. She tilted her head, inviting more access, as Tori continued placing gentle kisses up her neck and along her jaw and to her ear. Jade let out a shaky sigh as she felt warm breath at her ear. “Be patient,” Tori murmured, the sound making Jade’s breath catch, “Because I don’t just want you to _want_ it. I want you to _need_ it.”

Jade stifled a whimper at the sensation of Tori’s tongue tracing the shell of her ear, but she grabbed Tori’s shirt collar and turned her head to meet Tori’s lips in a searing kiss.

Tori kissed back eagerly, hands in Jade’s hair, Jade tugging at her hips to bring them closer together. Tori moved to straddle Jade, kisses unceasing, and though they stayed intense, they didn’t escalate. They continued for a long time until the kisses grew lazier, and eventually, Tori was back to having her head on Jade’s shoulder, nuzzling her neck, still straddling her lap. Jade held her, sighing contentedly at the love and affection exchanged between them, but idly wishing they could have the energy for more.

Tuesday was similar, though they didn’t work as late. By the evening, though, it was clear that the weather was going to attempt to cool down in time for the holiday, so Tori heated up some cans of vegetable soup and they ate dinner inside. Afterwards, they realized that one of the seasonal offerings on Webflix was _Home for the Holidays_ , which Jade immediately insisted they must watch because it was directed by Jodie Foster, which prompted Tori to call her a nerd, but she happily tucked herself under Jade’s arm on the couch and watched the movie about dysfunctional family Thanksgiving that was as old as she was.

When it was over, Tori commented, “Maybe all families should do medicated gravy. I think it helps a lot.”

Jade laughed bitterly, “No, what helps is that you guys actually like each other. You should’ve seen Thanksgiving with my father’s side of the family when I was a teenager. You know, before I stopped talking to him.”

“I can imagine,” Tori said darkly. “When did you stop going to Thanksgiving there?”

“When I started dating Beck, I started going to his family’s celebration. Even though they’re Canadian they did it on the right day, probably because it was an actual holiday so no one had work or school. And then I started dating you, so I went to yours.” She reflected on it idly. “When I was little, before the divorce, it was always Thanksgiving with my dad’s family and Christmas with my mom’s. But we stopped going to see my grandparents for Christmas just before Beck I broke up for the last time because they bought an RV and started traveling the country.”

“Really?” Tori asked, “You never told me that.”

“You never asked.”

“Well, yeah, you just said they were far away, you never said _why_.”

“Well, they’re back now, I don’t know, maybe a couple hours out of the city,” Jade explained, “I should really go see them sometime.”

“Jade,” Tori started, frowning a little, “You _really should_.”

Jade knew she was right. She thought about how unfair it was, that all of Tori’s grandparents had died (she felt an acute pang of loss as she remembered Grandma Jean, a dull ache that she knew might never go away fully). From the way Tori talked about them, her dad’s parents had been sweet, loving people. Jade’s paternal grandparents were not people she really cared to know (cold, judgmental, conservative...a lot like her dad, really), but her maternal grandparents had always been kind to her. They were a little eccentric, sure, but Jade had no real reason to avoid them. “I will. I’ll even take you with me, if you want,” Jade offered.

Tori lit up, “That sounds fun!”

“You’re such a nerd,” Jade teased.

“Hilarious, coming from you,” Tori poked right back. Her eyes lit up again. “Want some weed?”

It was so _Tori_ that Jade burst out laughing before she could answer with a definitive “Yes.” She put on her leather jacket and Tori pulled on an oversized hoodie and the two of them went outside to sit on the picnic table and vape.

It was getting late, but Jade’s mind still wandered to strap-ons as they vaped together. She turned to watch Tori, the way her lips gently parted over the vape’s mouthpiece, the way they shaped to let the vapor out from the side, the way her eyes looked pensive behind her glasses as she passed back to Jade, the way her mouth quirked up when their eyes met. “What?” Tori asked.

“Just...nothing.” Jade took her hit.

Tori fully smirked. “Come on, you were giving me sex eyes just now.”

“Maybe I’m thinking about sex,” Jade replied.

“Mmhmm,” Tori hummed just before she inhaled through her mouthpiece. She spoke through vapor, “You’re thinking about my strap-on, aren’t you?”

Jade willed herself not to turn pink, but sometimes weed itself made her blushy, so it was a losing battle. “Maybe,” she replied coyly.

“Uh huh,” Tori said again, then leaned into Jade’s ear. “If that’s your answer, then you don’t _need_ me yet.”

Jade groaned at this, even if she was pretty certain she was going to be too tired for sex anyway once they’d finished vaping their nighttime weed. “Okay, but I still want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Tori’s lip twitched. “You good?” she held up the vape. Jade nodded, “Then let’s go inside and get ready for bed, and we can talk about whatever you want.”

If there were actually a mood to spoil, Jade might’ve been annoyed, but really, going inside and out of the chilly night air sounded nice. So did getting into bed before the weed made her completely unwilling to get up from the table.

By the time they’d finished their bedtime rituals in front of their adjacent sinks and put on pajamas to get into bed, Jade had almost forgotten what they were supposed to talk about. Luckily, Tori remembered. “So. You wanted to talk about me fucking you,” she said. She was propped up against her pillows, and she turned to lean on them, facing Jade.

Jade adjusted her body similarly, watching Tori. “So...you can get off from a strap-on blowjob, can’t you?” She’d surmised as much from Tori’s retelling of her experience with Addison.

Tori stiffened, eyebrows shooting up. “Uh, that’s only happened once, and I’m pretty sure Addison ruined that for me,” she replied quickly.

“You’re _pretty sure_ ,” Jade pressed, though she knew she should be careful. “What if it was from someone who was _definitely_ not Addison Cole?”

Tori’s eyes were flicking over Jade’s face, but she didn’t look disinterested. “I...I mean. Maybe. It was...kind of hot, until the surprise choking and crying.”

“So I won’t choke or cry,” Jade shrugged, “Easy.”

Tori still watched her guardedly, “...I don’t know.”

Jade shrugged, but didn’t push. “Okay, well. Think about it.”

But Tori immediately came back with, “It would have to be, like...joyful, and gentle.”

Jade tried to hide her smile, “Joyful fellatio. Got it. I can definitely handle that.”

Tori laughed, though she still sounded anxious. “I’ll think about it,” she agreed.

“Good,” Jade replied, “As much as I want to do this for you, it would only be good if it’s exactly like you want it. So I’ll do whatever you need.” It was half seductive, half reassuring, and judging by Tori’s smile, it kind of seemed to work.

The next day, she and Tori both had work in the late morning and the afternoon. Jade had some time between photography clients and was sitting in her truck with a cup of coffee, trying to decide how to kill twenty minutes or so. Her thoughts wandered to all their conversations over the past few days, and within minutes, Jade was worked up remembering their long-distance sex and the way Tori kept telling her that she had to _need_ to get fucked.

She sent a text.

**What are you up to?**

She knew Tori was working, but hey, maybe she might have some free time like Jade did now.

The response that came through, however, came from the phone number for Mistress Tawny Swain.

**I’m with a client**

Jade understood it pretty quickly. This was what they had talked about, with Tori needing to maintain her Mistress headspace. If she were truly too busy to talk, she wouldn’t have responded at all. This was her giving Jade a choice about whether or not to engage.

Jade considered it. Maybe because she was horny, it didn’t seem like a bad idea, so she replied.

**I need it**

**I need you to fuck me**

**Or, not you**

**Tori**

**Oh god you know I meant Tori right?**

Jade chewed her lip. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe this wasn’t something she could actually talk to The Mistress about. Maybe all the headspaces would get confused and somehow Mistress Tawny would end up being the one fucking her.

The reply came through.

🍆

Jade burst out with a short laugh, and immediately decided that The Mistress didn’t scare her anymore, because The Mistress was _Tori_. Like, of course she’d been Tori all along, and also, Tori sometimes scared her, not that she would ever admit it, but knowing that The Mistress had Tori’s goofy sense of humor beneath all the bangs wigs and glowering and leather and heeled boots somehow made her feel like someone Jade could maybe get to know in her own right someday.

That still didn’t mean she wanted The Mistress in her _bed_ , but it was a start for Jade to find some peace about her, as they were on the cusp of exploring kink together.

Jade made it home first that evening, but from texting with Tori ( _actually_ Tori, this time), she knew Tori wasn’t far behind. Still, that gave Jade some time to primp a little, freshening up from her day out and about, changing into a bra that would make Tori lose her mind over her cleavage.

And within a few minutes of Tori coming home, she had Jade pressed up against the wall, hands pinned over her head, thigh pressing lightly between Jade’s legs as she kissed her furiously. Jade felt the intoxicating swirl of Tori engulfing her mind, feeling herself arching off the wall to meet her thigh, wanting _everything_ so much.

Tori’s mouth near her ear, a slow inhale that made Jade shiver with longing, then, “You told me something interesting earlier,” in a self-satisfied tone.

“Yes,” Jade managed, chest feeling like it only held a heartbeat, no room for any breath. No reaction from Tori, she merely held Jade’s hands, kept her thigh steady, mouth hovered next to her ear, waiting. Jade swallowed, “What do you--Am I supposed to beg, or--Fuck, Tori, I need you to fuck me.”

Kisses on her neck in a path to her lips, another extended kiss, Jade feeling deliciously helpless as she let Tori take her time with her, feeling her desire build, biting her tongue to keep from begging more. Eventually, Tori let go of one of Jade’s hands, fingers running down her body, over her breast, and then slipping between their hips, deftly unbuttoning Jade’s jeans before sliding inside. Jade heard Tori’s breath catch and she sighed at the first touch of fingers parting her folds, feeling the slow strokes that dipped down to swirl through wetness and then slowly traced back up, circling her clit lazily in a way that made Jade whimper with need as she finally lowered the hand no longer pinned to the wall to grip Tori’s shoulder, as much to steady herself as to express her desperation. “Look at you, so wet for me already,” Tori breathed in her ear.

Jade could only manage a wordless, affirmative moan, gripping Tori harder. She saw Tori’s eyes flick to the hand on her shoulder, lip twitching into a smile.

“What was that?” she asked, tilting her ear toward Jade as her fingers still stroked between her legs slowly. “Did you say something?” Jade groaned again, but this time as much from exasperation as arousal. She’d _already_ said what she needed, and Tori wasn’t going to make her say it again. “Huh,” Tori said, hand lifting slowly out of Jade’s pants, “Guess I’ll let you make your mouth useful, then,” she murmured, and Jade felt a wet finger tracing over her lower lip.

Jade parted her lips to accept Tori’s fingers, eyes closing as she tasted herself, feeling herself blush at the significance of it all. Tori withdrew her fingers slowly, watching Jade hungrily as they slipped past her lips, and she pressed her body back against Jade’s firmly, hand finding Jade’s breast as she kissed her and let her thigh resume its rocking between Jade’s.

But finally, Tori pulled away gently, lowering Jade’s arm, pressing a kiss to her hand before disengaging completely. “Well, since you _need_ me to fuck you,” she began cockily, “Then, I guess I’d better do it,” she smiled, a sillier smile that Jade had been expecting, which made her laugh lightly.

“Guess you’d better go put it on,” Jade agreed, and once she’d found her voice again, she was unable to resist adding in a sultry tone, “There’s a brand new strap-on in the bathroom waiting for you.”

“ _Jade_ ,” Tori shot her a fierce look.

“Make sure you wash the dildo!” Jade teased again as she followed Tori into the bedroom, making a distinct jerking off motion with her hands as she did so.

“I always do,” Tori tossed over her shoulder with a tight smile.

“Okay, okay, I’ll behave,” Jade relented.

“You’d better,” Tori glared, though it was playful. She stepped into the closet, where the new dildo and her preferred harness _actually_ were, and gathered them both up to take into the bathroom with her. She gave Jade a firm look before she closed the door, “You’d better not still be dressed when I come back out,” she warned.

Jade’s mouth flopped for a moment or two before she called at the door, “Fine, but only because I don’t want to be!”

If Tori replied, she didn’t hear it, and Jade stripped down to her undergarments because, damn it, she did need Tori to see her in this bra. This didn’t count as dressed.

-

When Tori came out of the bathroom, she was nude except for the strap-on she wore. She’d expected Jade to be similarly undressed, and fixed her with a challenging expression as she noticed she still wore a bra and panties, but lost her focus as her eyes found their way to Jade’s cleavage. “Uh,” was all Tori managed.

Jade stood next to the boot bench at the foot of the bed. “You should have a seat,” she told Tori, gesturing to it.

Tori felt some of her dominance return as she scoffed, “You think _you_ get to tell me how I’m going to fuck you?” This wasn’t true, of course. She’d do whatever Jade needed to get off, and her plans for her were inspired by what they’d already talked about and she knew Jade liked, but the bluster sent a erotic charge between them that she knew they both felt.

But Jade kept her composure, though she swallowed audibly. “No, there’s just something I need to do for you first.” Tori hesitated, understanding what Jade was implying, and Jade followed it up with a rare single, “Please.”

Somehow, Jade framing it as something that was _for her_ , as if this wasn’t all about trying to get Tori off, made Tori relent, and she crossed the few steps to sit on the boot bench. Jade immediately lowered herself to her knees in front of her, settling between her legs, hands running over Tori’s thighs. Tori stared down at her, first at her cleavage, which Tori desperately wanted to bury her face in, but then her eyes finally made their way up to Jade’s mouth, lifted in a half-smile, and then to blue eyes, sly and searching,

“Well,” Jade spoke softly, “I really, _really_ , want to make you feel good, but if I don’t…” she trailed off.

“I’ll safeword out,” Tori finished for her, verbalizing that, at least for her, this was something potentially risky.

Jade smirked, but it was reassuring. “It’s been awhile, but...pretty sure I remember how to do this,” she said wryly. Tori let out a brief, mirthless snort at that, and she leaned back against the footboard of the bed as Jade reached out and wrapped her fingers around the base of the strap-on.

Jade’s eyes lifted to meet Tori’s once again as her tongue ran over the tip of the toy and then her lips wrapped gently around it. She moved slowly, cautiously, eyes on Tori, who waited with bated breath for either distress or pleasure to course through her. She watched as Jade’s lips caressed just the tip for a moment, and then her eyes closed with the first bob of her head as she took more of the strap-on into her mouth.

Tori gasped, but mostly because the motion of Jade’s hand, moving with her mouth, ground the base of the toy down against Tori’s clit. She realized she’d closed her eyes, bracing for gagging that didn’t come, and she opened them again, watching the slow, gentle motion of Jade’s head as she sucked the strap-on, the way her eyes opened, and her eyes _smiled_ at Tori, a clear signal that she was enjoying this, and that she knew Tori was, too.

Because, oh yeah. Tori was also breathing in time with Jade, emitting breathy exhales of pleasure with each sensation against her clit. _Fuck_. She spread her legs wider, as if that would somehow give Jade greater access and Jade looked at her once more as she picked up the pace of her mouth just a little, verifying that Tori was okay before closing her eyes in concentration once again.

And Tori was _very_ okay. “ _Fuck_ , Jade,” she got out, straining not to lift her hips eagerly, to let Jade keep control.

A glance down showed Jade _grinning_ around the tip of the toy, the delight in her eyes feeling electric as they met Tori’s, and everything in her face seemed to say some variant of _I told you so_.

Tori didn’t even care if Jade was smug about it, and grabbed her hair, “I’m close, I--” she warned, and met Jade’s alert, focused eyes, and barely two more strokes of Jade’s lips and hand and Tori was coming, fingers in Jade’s hair, gripping the footboard of the bed with her other hand for some measure of stability, hips bucking, mouth groaning Jade’s name.

-

Jade was _absolutely_ smug as she lifted her head to watch Tori come, her hand at the base of the toy continuing to provide stimulation as Tori shook and screamed her name. Performing a blowjob on a strap-on _seemed_ silly (and was certainly _different_ ), but Jade could see why it had worked, other than the physical sensations Tori was experiencing. It was intimate, and you could watch the mouth work in ways you really couldn’t see during oral sex on a woman. But, like any kind of oral, eye contact was huge, which Jade expected, and experiencing that kind of connection with Tori left Jade with a feeling of elation, and a vindictive little _fuck you_ to Addison. If Tori had made her stop, she’d have understood, but she was happy to realize that Addison fucking Cole had _not_ managed to ruin something for Tori forever. She and Jade had reclaimed it together.

Tori recovered quickly, eyes blinking open, hand releasing Jade’s hair, and she leaned over to capture Jade’s mouth in a kiss. When they pulled apart, Jade was about to say something cheeky about the success of that encounter (maybe an estimation of just how _quickly_ Tori came) when Tori spoke in a low voice. “Get on the bed.” Jade blinked, but got to her feet, when Tori stopped her, hands on the waistband of her underwear. “These off,” she commanded, and as Jade started tugging them down, Tori’s hands cupped over her breasts. “This, too,” she added, reaching around Jade to unhook her bra.

“Jeez, okay,” Jade breathed.

Then, “On the bed,” Tori repeated, once Jade was naked. Jade circled around to her side of the bed and reclined on her pillows. Tori laughed. “No, I don’t think so. On your hands and knees.” Jade gaped at her for a moment, eyes wide, then turned over to comply as Tori climbed onto the bed after her.

Tori was next to her initially, kissing her shoulder, waiting for Jade to turn her head so Tori could kiss her lips. Her palm settled on Jade’s cheek, a gentle caress, dark eyes searching her face. “Are you ready for me?” she asked Jade.

Jade almost laughed, feeling the thrum of arousal from making Tori come, the physical ache of longing to be filled. “Definitely ready.”

Tori grinned, “Good,” she replied, crawling around Jade to her own side of the bed, grabbing a bottle of lube from her bedside table. Jade watched her until she settled behind Jade on the bed, and Jade felt hands running down her sides, over her hips, slipping back up her stomach to her breasts. Jade let out a barely audible whimper as fingers found her nipples, applying gentle pressure that made her squirm, and she felt lips peppering over her shoulder blades, felt the warm silicone of the toy between her thighs, not even touching anything erogenous. Tori’s hands and lips continued their motions over her skin, fingers gripping her hips possessively, mouth pressing kisses on her lower back that made heat flare over Jade’s skin. But the strap-on remained where it was, between her thighs, and Jade held her breath to keep from begging.

She let Tori keep touching her until Tori grabbed her thighs, urging Jade to spread her legs wider, and Jade felt the toy make contact between her legs, the length of it pressing against her clit. She shifted her hips to move against it, sighing at the relief the contact provided, finally uttering, “ _Tori_.”

“That’s right,” Tori chuckled, “I almost forgot how much you _need_ me.”

“You didn’t forget, you asshole, you--” Jade’s words died in her throat as she felt the tip of the toy barely pressing against her entrance.

“What was that?” Tori asked cheerfully.

“N-nothing,” Jade managed, pushing back against her, but Tori withdrew.

“Hang on,” Tori murmured, and Jade heard the snapping of plastic as the lid of the lube bottle flipped open, and then the sensation returned of the strap-on _right there_. “Okay,” Tori breathed.

“Do it,” Jade urged, and then her breath rushed out of her in a whoosh as she felt Tori slowly ease inside of her. Jade pushed back, matching her careful pace, groaning as she felt Tori’s hips meet her ass and they both stopped, the length of it fully inside of Jade, Tori’s hands gripping her hips.

Jade took a deep breath, remembering to breathe as sensation reawoke, not quite forgotten, but absent long enough to feel new. Or maybe it felt new because it was Tori filling her, Tori’s hand stroking soothingly over her back, Tori leaning over to press a kiss just below the base of her neck, her hips remaining motionless as she waited for a sign from Jade.

Who was, a few breaths later, ready for more, and looked over her shoulder at Tori, who was still leaning over her back, one arm wrapped around Jade’s body, hand pressed against her stomach. “Fuck me,” Jade managed, her tone more pleading than the harshness of her words would indicate.

Tori’s wicked half-smile made Jade feel hot and shiver at the same time, and she faced forward again as Tori straightened, hands back on Jade’s hips, and then began to move, pulling out gradually, then sliding back in, making Jade’s back arch as she let out a breathy moan.

Tori’s thrusts were slow, as careful and gentle as Jade’s mouth on the strap-on just minutes earlier, and Jade felt herself arching, pushing back, meeting her strokes, feeling the intimacy between them as Tori moved inside of her, feeling the pleasure build with steady friction, the tenderness and care as Tori tried to give Jade what she wanted.

But Jade wanted more. She wanted to feel taken. As much as she knew that this was primarily about her pleasure, there was something very potent in the idea of Tori deriving pleasure from this, and a part of Jade wanted to feel like this wasn’t for her at all, that this was Tori taking from her, even _using_ her.

But there was no way she could say anything like that in the moment, so she settled for, “More.”

-

Tori heard the breathless request and smirked, remembering Jade begging for this very thing over video chat a few weeks ago. She’d had a feeling this was coming, and she’d been very patient, moving slowly, ensuring Jade felt good as she allowed her to get used to a certain form of penetration once again. “More what?” Tori murmured back, pushing inside of Jade fully and holding her hips in place, keeping herself there.

Jade groaned, half in frustration and half in pleasure, then said, “Faster. Harder.”

Tori felt her grin grow feral, but even now, she was careful to moderate her eagerness, as she accelerated the pace of her thrusts, watching the way Jade’s back arched and she moaned eagerly. She ran her fingernails lightly down Jade’s back, tracing the curve of it, then smoothed over the shape of her waist and hips. Tori was pacing herself, pacing them both, not wanting to do anything too rough, especially when it had been so long since Jade had experienced something like this. She also wanted to listen to Jade, though, to be responsive to her needs.

Tori leaned back, hands settled on Jade’s hips, bringing her onto her lap, wanting to see what Jade might do with a little more control of the speed and depth of penetration, but instead of remaining on her hands, Jade straightened, her back pressing against Tori’s breasts, hands on the bed for balance. Tori swept her hair off of her neck and pressed kisses along her neck and shoulder, her own arms wrapping around Jade securely, one hand settling on her waist, the other grasping a breast. The position didn’t give Jade the leverage Tori was hoping for, but she indulged them in the moment, holding her close, pressing kisses all over her shoulder blade. Then she spoke in her ear, “Back on your hands,” as she guided Jade forward, rising with her, staying inside her as they resumed their previous position.

Tori moved with more urgency now, breathing harder as her strokes increased in intensity. Her fingers dug into Jade’s hips, feeling the way Jade moved with her, meeting her thrusts, hearing the sounds pouring from Jade’s mouth, a litany of moans and curses. Tori’s eyes dropped to watch the strap-on move, the connection between them, and she instinctively drew back her hand to smack Jade’s ass before she stopped herself. They hadn’t discussed this, not in full detail, and introducing it now wasn’t wise, so Tori held back, her hands instead grasping Jade’s ass hard, hearing an answering groan from Jade.

“More,” Jade gasped again, “Give it to me.”

Tori whimpered at the request, redoubling her efforts, feeling herself clench around nothing, her clit throbbing with each thrust as she ground against the base of the strap-on. Tori breathed through the escalating pleasure, staying focused on Jade, thrusts firm and fast now, the slap of skin on skin audible, punctuated by Jade’s moans, by Tori’s grunts of exertion. Jade was slowly sinking, back arching ever higher as her arms collapsed, one hand lifting between her legs to stroke her clit, head turned to the side and pressed against the mattress. Tori could see her closed eyes, her parted jaw, could feel the answering rock of her hips, and she resisted the urge to slap her ass again, gripping her flesh firmly, pulling her closer.

“Fuck, Tori, Fuck, I--” Jade managed to speak in time with the strokes, but then she couldn’t manage any more words, and Tori saw her brows constricting, and knew she was close.

And so was Tori, so close she couldn’t stop it, overwhelmed by the reality of fucking Jade hard into the mattress, of how _eagerly_ Jade had taken penetration, the way she’d _begged_ for more...Tori’s next thrust was hard and deep inside Jade as she began coming with a loud moan, and she strugged to maintain the pace that had been working for Jade after the first wave of pleasure, seeing stars behind her eyes as she struggled not to drown in throes of orgasm.

-

Jade was already so close when she realized Tori was coming, and the sound of it, and the firm thrust that accompanied it, pushed her ever closer, so that it merely took a few more swirls of her fingers against her clit until she was joining Tori, groaning from her chest, body jolting, hips pushing even harder back against her, and she heard Tori moaning encouragement, felt several firm, quick thrusts before Tori moaned aloud again, pushing into her slowly, over and over again, each wave of Tori’s orgasm feeding into Jade’s and vice versa, until Jade thought she might as well have blacked out for all the awareness she had.

The sensation of Tori pulling out of her brought her back to herself with a powerful shiver of aftershock, and her body longed for Tori, but Jade couldn’t move. She was on her stomach on the mattress, legs splayed, right arm still trapped beneath her body. She felt the bed dip and move as Tori shifted around, doing god knew what, until finally she felt warm skin against her own as Tori lay down beside her, felt lean, strong arms wrap around her, rolling her onto her side so that Tori could press herself fully along Jade’s back, comforting and grounding her.

Jade shuddered powerfully, another aftershock, at the sensation of Tori’s skin on her own, and moaned with need, pushing back against her. Tori’s arm tightened around her, her face was pressed into Jade’s hair and her neck, idle kisses placed there. Jade focused on breathing, on Tori wrapped around her, on the swirl of vulnerability and need and comfort and adoration and the intense sensations of being roughly fucked in a way she’d really only imagined before, feeling both raw and whole, embarrassed and loved. There was a sensation in her eyes and throat like she wanted to cry, but she was truly too exhausted, and felt so safe and secure in Tori’s arms, that the more she breathed, the more it passed.

Tori finally spoke. “Do you need anything? Coffee? A snack?”

Jade blinked her eyes open, returning to a world of color and light, and turned slightly in Tori’s arms, enough to see her face, which was warm and open and attentive. “You know,” Jade started, “if you had a coffee maker in this room, things would be much easier.”

Tori laughed, and kissed her. “You know what? You’re absolutely right.”

Jade blinked in surprise. “I am?”

“You are,” Tori agreed, “If coffee is part of good aftercare for you, I’ll put a coffee maker in the bedroom.”

Jade let out a breathy laugh, the teary feeling returning. “I love you,” she managed through her tight throat.

“I love you. So much,” Tori replied softly, kissing her again, but this time, her touches only made Jade’s tears flow more freely, and Tori held her, kissing her until they were gone.

-

Tori brewed some coffee, a smaller pot than usual, both so it wouldn’t take as long and so they wouldn’t be up all night. Jade, still nude, was wrapped in a blanket on the couch, watching Tori with adoring eyes. Tori felt a flutter of elation every time their eyes met, unable to keep from smirking at the memory of the sex they’d just had, the intensity of it, the way they’d played off each other in pursuit of eroticism, Jade at once malleable and seemingly insatiable, Tori feeling both in control of and swept along in the wake of Jade’s pleasure.

Coffee prepared, she joined Jade on the couch and continued snuggling her as they sipped their coffees, Jade holding hers in both hands, the warmth of the cup seeming to soothe her, while Tori set hers on the table to better focus on Jade. The closeness was comforting to them both, and though Tori had no doubt that they’d mutually enjoyed the experience, she also knew it was intense. Touch was reassuring. Aftercare was for them both.

By the time Jade had finished her cup of coffee, she seemed to be returning to her baseline, and they both went back to the bedroom to shower together, giggling and kissing giddily under the spray, and then pull on some pajamas. Tori picked up the strap-on from where she’d left it at the foot of the bed after taking it off once the sex was over and took it in the bathroom to clean (she’d also run the harness through the wash after the preliminary rinse in the sink). She then told Jade to choose something fun to watch on TV while she made a fairly quick and easy breakfast for dinner meal--eggs, faux bacon, and toast.

They capped off the night barely paying attention to whatever Jade had put on as they snuggled on the couch together, kissing lazily. They very nearly fell asleep there before Tori coaxed Jade to her feet and they went back to the bedroom, stripping down out of a desire to feel close and curling together, holding one another all night.

In the morning, they slept in. They were expected to get to the Vega house sometime around noon to prepare their potluck dishes, though really, Tori knew from experience that it was more an attempt to maximize family time than a real need for that much time in the kitchen. Tori eventually got out of bed nude and brushed her teeth, passing Jade who sleepily made her way into the bathroom after her, and then went to the kitchen to brew coffee. Jade still hadn’t emerged when the coffee was finished, and Tori kind of wanted to get back in bed, anyway, so she headed back to the bedroom with two cups of coffee.

Jade was, indeed, back in bed. Her eyes lit up at the sight of Tori. “I might reconsider the coffee maker in the bedroom thing if you’re going to start serving me coffee in the nude in the mornings.”

Tori chuckled, “I’m not planning to make a habit of it, so, enjoy it while you can.” She passed a cup to Jade, then got back into bed on her own side. Jade was still staring at her as Tori got situated, taking a sip of her coffee as she watched her, features settled in fondness. “What?” Tori asked coyly.

“You’re the perfect woman,” Jade sighed.

“That’s the coffee talking,” Tori laughed.

“I mean, probably,” Jade admitted, shifting to put her cup down. She winced as she adjusted her hips.

“You okay?” Tori asked.

Jade smirked, “Oh, I’m very okay. Just a little...sore.”

“Oh,” Tori replied lightly, feeling the thrill of it slide down her spine, the lingering evidence of the amazing sex they’d had together a mild turn on by itself. “Yeah you are,” she drawled, pleased.

“Oh, shut up,” Jade leaned over to kiss her.

They traded kisses between sips of coffee, the kisses growing longer and more intense the more coffee Jade drank. When Jade pulled away from another round of kisses to go back to her coffee, Tori had to suppress the desire to pull her back, and she remembered holding back during sex the night before, and brought it up now. “You know, I _really_ wanted to smack your ass when we were fucking yesterday.”

Jade turned, blinking over the rim of her cup. “Then you should have,” she murmured once she’d taken a sip.

“Yeah, but, we hadn’t really talked about it. Or, like, pulling your hair. I know you sometimes like that when you’re going down on me, but, that’s a little less...purposeful.”

“Yes to both, for future reference,” Jade said, eyes dropping to her coffee cup.

“I...that’s good to know. I just...we haven’t done any spanking yet, and it didn’t seem the right time to introduce it.”

Jade raised her eyebrow, “I don’t think smacking my ass because it looks good while you’re fucking me is the same thing as me getting spanked, is it?”

“Well, no,” Tori agreed, “But I wasn’t sure how you’d perceive it.”

Jade laughed, “I used to date men, remember? Not that...any of them ever fucked me like you did. But what I mean is, you don’t have to be so cautious all the time with me. I appreciate it, but it would’ve been fine. Even great.” Tori wasn’t sure she quite agreed that she was being too cautious, but she wasn’t about to refute it, because Jade leaned in to kiss her, “Next time, do it,” she murmured.

This time, Tori did pull her back when she tried to move away, but she let her go a moment later, and Jade turned to drain what was left of her coffee before turning right back to Tori and kissing her harder. Tori’s half-full cup was nearly forgotten on her bedside table as Jade pushed closer to her, hands running over her stomach and her side, thumb tracing along the underside of Tori’s breast. Tori hummed happily in her throat at the contact, and Jade pulled away. Tori tried to chase her mouth until she realized Jade had stopped kissing her in order to straddle her lap, placing her breasts right in front of Tori’s face.

Tori’s response was to moan incoherently, and Jade laughed, gripping the headboard behind Tori as she leaned in to press her breasts against Tori’s face. Tori put her mouth all over Jade’s cleavage, lifting her hands to caress the breasts, letting them be the only part of reality that mattered for a few long moments. She decided that next time she used a strap-on with Jade, Jade would be in her lap, like this, so Tori could devote herself to her breasts during sex.

Jade sat back, hands moving from the headboard to Tori’s face, kissing her hungrily again. Tori kissed back fervently, all the haze of a lazy morning long gone since she’d buried her face in Jade’s breasts, her hands resting on Jade’s hips, squeezing reflexively, remembering the way it felt to grip them the day before, remembering how utterly _sexy_ Jade’s body looked from behind, her curves, her dark hair falling over her shoulders, the arch of her back. Tori moaned against Jade’s lips as she remembered the sounds she’d made, the wanton moans, the way she’d urged Tori to move faster, harder. Tori _wanted_ that again. She’d had plenty of experiences wearing a strap-on, but nothing compared to the intensity of what she and Jade had shared.

Maybe Jade could tell how aroused Tori was getting, or maybe it was her intention all along, but she began shifting backwards, kissing her way down Tori’s body, pushing the covers down to the foot of the bed. Tori stared, mouth parted, as Jade grabbed her hips and pulled her further down the bed. “Jade, what--” she started, knowing _exactly_ what was apparently about to happen, but still a bit surprised by it.

“I want to go down on you,” Jade’s voice was eager, a bit breathy as she settled on her stomach and sent a cocky smirk up at Tori. “Again,” she finished.

Tori groaned, eyes fluttering shut, remembering Jade and the strap-on from the night before, how subversive and erotic it was, how good Jade looked doing it, the delight in deep blue eyes, the softness and fullness of her lips. And now she was settling between Tori’s legs again, in a different position, but the shock of her eyes meeting Tori’s at the first touch of her mouth was the same, and Tori gripped the bedsheet next to her firmly, already groaning with relief and need.

She felt Jade’s tongue moving all over, slipping inside of her only to swipe back up past her clit. Teasing, maybe, or just enjoying herself, but either way, Tori reached to grab her hair, an indication she needed more without having to say it. Jade made a satisfied sound in her throat as Tori tugged her hair, making Tori grin eagerly, thinking of how they were just barely delving into Jade’s masochism, and what else they might discover together. But she couldn’t dwell there long, not with the way Jade’s tongue was now beginning to find its focus, not with the way Tori’s hips were beginning to rise of their own accord, seeking more.

“Fuck, Jade,” she murmured, bracing herself harder against the mattress, glancing down between her legs, seeing the way pale fingers gripped her thighs, the way Jade’s eyes were closed in concentration, but opened briefly when Tori spoke, smoldering up at her. But then Jade was shifting, one arm unwrapping itself from around her thigh, and moments later, Tori moaned as she felt fingers sliding inside of her. “ _Fuck_.” She arched off the mattress, feeling everything intensify.

Everything felt _great_ , but she wasn’t getting any closer, which, of course, Jade knew, and Tori continued to breathe heavily and curse as Jade swirled her tongue and fingered her, until finally, she felt Jade’s lips begin to suck gently on her clit, tongue stroking over it, the way Tori needed.

“Oh my god, yes, _yes_ , just keep fucking--” Tori broke off into a moan that grew stuttered, then increased in pitch, and then she was coming, feeling Jade holding her hips in place as her mouth continued its movements, feeling her fingers digging into the mattress, into Jade’s hair, feeling shockwaves of pleasure roll through her, blood pounding in her ears, sounds pouring unceasing from her mouth.

She finally subsided, blinking dazedly at the ceiling, struggling to find words, as Jade crawled up her body to kiss her. Tori wrapped her arms around her, rolling them onto their sides as they kissed, and then she tucked herself against Jade’s shoulder, nuzzling her neck, breathing with her as they held each other.

“Damn,” Tori finally had words.

Jade chuckled and pressed kisses against her forehead and hair. “Just really, _really_ wanted to do that for you.”

“Well I’m thankful for it,” Tori quipped.

“I hope that’s exactly what you say around the dinner table tonight,” Jade snorted, shifting into her impersonation of Tori, “‘I’m thankful for the vigorous oral sex Jade gave me this morning. How about you, Trina?’”

Tori chuckled against Jade’s skin, “As if you wouldn’t be giving thanks for last night if it was that kind of Thanksgiving.”

“Speaking of,” Jade said, glancing at her phone, “We should probably get ready to go soon if we’re going to pick up Sam and Cat.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Tori said reluctantly. They got out of bed, refilled their coffees, showered quickly and got ready to go. Since Thanksgiving was a bit of a potluck, Tori had a cloth bag with some potatoes and ingredients for green bean casserole that she was going to prepare once they got to her parents’ house. And the whole reason they were picking up Sam and Cat was because potluck dishes didn’t travel well by motorcycle.

-

“Oh, man,” Tori murmured quietly.

“What?” Jade asked.

There was a long moment of silence before Tori answered, turning to look at Jade. “I think my gravy is really starting to kick in.”

Jade laughed, “It’s only just starting now?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe. I’m glad I’m on this couch.”

They’d finished eating almost an hour ago, after several hours of food prep and hanging out (mostly hanging out). Jade had been full, but maybe her own dose of Holly’s medicated gravy was kicking in, because she was starting to feel...less full. Like wondering when dessert might be happening less full. “When do you think dessert is?”

Sam laughed from the other couch, where she was sitting with her arm draped over Cat’s shoulder. “That’s what I’ve been wondering this whole time.”

“You ate an entire turkey!” Tori accused, barely lifting her head to face Sam.

“It was a smaller turkey,” Cat defended. She’d deep fried a small turkey for Sam and brought it with them to be warmed up just before dinner, a longtime tradition that ensured everyone else got to enjoy turkey on the holiday. Sam ate other foods on Thanksgiving, too--Jade was pretty certain she hadn’t turned down any of the sides--but turkey was, of course, her focus.

“Hey, Mama’s always got room for more. I’m just trying to eat all my favorite things today.”

There was a stifled giggle from Cat, but Jade barely took notice because of the heated glance Tori shot her. “Sounds like a good way to spend the holiday to me,” Tori murmured, hand settling on Jade’s thigh.

Jade cast a glance around the room, ensuring they were still by themselves. David and Jeremy had retreated to the garage for some kind of “male bonding”--which, given the way David had stepped up to be a father figure for her when she needed one, she was happy that her brother was able to build a similar connection with him over the years their families had grown close. Their moms were still in the jacuzzi--swimsuits on this time--and Trina was still out front taking a phone call. She returned to leering at Tori. “ _Does_ it?”

“Maybe,” Tori said coyly. She was tapping at her phone, and a moment later Jade’s phone buzzed. She checked it to find that Tori had texted her.

**Now you’ve got me thinking about eating you**

**😋**

Jade smirked, instantly flashing back vividly to the morning and the night before.

**After last night?**

**I don’t think I could even take that right now**

**Fuck I can’t stop thinking about last night**

Tori bit her lip as she read the response, and Jade watched the way she ran her tongue over her mouth as she typed back.

**Me neither**

**You were incredible**

**I can’t wait to do it again**

**I’m pretty excited for when we do it the other way, too**

Tori glanced at Jade, eyebrow raised, looking intrigued.

**Are you saying you’re excited to fuck me?**

**Hell yes**

**You said you’d be on top, right?**

**Because that sounds sexy as hell**

**Oh, so you want to watch me ride you?**

Tori was still typing, lower lip between her teeth, when her phone abruptly buzzed with a text that Jade hadn’t sent. Her face fell. “Fuck, my mom is texting. Oh jeez.”

“Well that’s one way to shatter the mood,” Jade murmured, then remembered they weren’t alone, and glanced over at Sam and Cat. Who...weren’t there. So they _were_ alone. But. “Wait, where did Sam and Cat go?”

Tori turned to look at the other couch. “I have no idea. How did they even get up?”

“Well, Cat’s not high, for one,” Jade said reasonably. Cat had made her own (non-medicated) gravy as one of the potluck offerings.

“True,” Tori nodded, “Wait, oh yeah, my mom texted.” She held her phone back up, then groaned. “She wants me to start the coffee.”

“Do we think they’re couchlocked in the jacuzzi?” Jade wondered.

“If they feel anything like I do, probably,” Tori slumped back against the couch, then lolled her head to the side to grin at Jade, “Maybe we’ll have real witch’s soup out there by the end of the night.”

“Gross! Those are our moms!” But Jade was laughing, too.

“Hey,” Tori said as their laughter died down.

“Hey, yourself.”

“Come here,” Tori crooked her finger.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Fine, but only because--” Jade began to lean closer and was cut off by Tori’s hand, grabbing her shirt to pull her in and kiss her. Jade groaned helplessly into the kiss, but they were alone in Tori’s house on Thanksgiving and had just been sexting on the couch together, and high kissing felt like a really _really_ good idea. Jade remembered, for a moment, their first kiss, high on a couch together in the library at Hollywood Arts, and grinned at the memory, at how far they’d come, about how much they still had left to explore together.

She didn’t want these feelings she got when she was with Tori to ever stop.

It was difficult to tell how much time had passed as they got lost in kissing but they pulled apart at the sound of footfalls on the stairs, and both turned to watch Cat and Sam come downstairs. When they reached the bottom of the staircase, Cat jumped on Sam’s back, and Sam carried her piggyback over to the couches. “What’re you guys doing? Making out?” Cat teased.

“I could ask you the same question. What were you doing upstairs?” Tori asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Sam said.

“We were in the weight room,” Cat said at the same time, but then they both stopped talking.

“Uh huh,” Tori eyed them suspiciously, then turned back to Jade. “Oh, shit, I never started the coffee.”

“Oh, we should do that,” Jade prompted, and even though she felt like she was attempting to get up, she made no actual move to do so.

“Damn, how couchlocked are you?” Sam laughed.

“How are you _not_?” Tori complained.

“Motivation,” was all Sam said.

“Hey, can you check out the window and make sure our moms are still alive in the jacuzzi?” Jade asked.

“Sure,” Sam replied, carrying Cat over to the patio door and looking outside, “Yeah, they’re fine. Chatting and laughing.”

“Okay, good,” Jade said, “Now can you come help Tori get off this couch so she can make coffee?”

“If I’m getting up, you’re getting up,” Tori scowled.

“Fiiiiine,” Jade sighed, as Sam carried Cat back to the couches and put her down so they could each grab a hand and haul Jade and Tori to their feet.

While Tori started the coffee, Jade stood nearby with Sam and Cat, unsure of what else to do. As the coffee began to brew, there was a muffled scream from the garage and Jade exchanged glances with everyone around her.

“Think they’re okay down there?” Jade wondered aloud.

“They’re ‘male bonding,’” Tori rolled her eyes, “Maybe they’re doing primal screams or something.”

They chuckled as they headed back to sit on the couches, and no further screams came from the garage. As Jade sat back down, she preemptively winced, anticipating the pleasantly sore feeling that lingered after the really good strap-on sex she’d had the night before, but was surprised to realize it hadn’t come. “Oh, I feel better,” she told Tori in awe.

“Uh, what?” Sam laughed.

“I just mean…” Ah, fuck it, Jade was high, and she didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. “I was a little...sore, from what Tori and I got up to last night, but that medicated gravy is doing its job.”

Sam’s eyes widened and she drawled, “Ooooh,” with a smirk.

Cat’s gaze moved between the two of them with interest. “So what _did_ you two do last night?” she asked keenly.

Tori licked her lips. “Let’s just say it involved a strap-on.”

But before anyone could say anything else, the front door opened and Trina came in, flopping into the closest seat next to Sam on the couch.

“That was a long phone call,” Tori directed at Trina, clearly probing.

“Not really,” Trina replied.

“You were out there for like, half an hour, at least,” Tori raised her eyebrow.

“Yeah, but the phone call wasn’t long,” Trina refuted. As everyone stared expectantly, she explained, “I was lying down in my car and I couldn’t get back up for a long time.”

“I feel that,” Jade replied.

“So what did I miss? What were you guys talking about when I came in? It looked like you were talking about something good.” The four queer women exchanged glances, and Trina scoffed. “Come on, we’re all friends here! Clue me in!”

“Well,” Sam replied gamely, “We were just talking about how Jade’s pussy is sore because your sister pounded her last night with--”

“OH MY GOD!” Trina cried out, as Jade covered her face to hide her blush (and her grin), “I don’t need to--”

The door to the garage opened, and David and Jeremy came back into the house. “Dude,” Jeremy addressed Trina, who turned to look at him with equal bafflement, “When you sat up in your car like that out of nowhere, you scared the shit out of David and me.”

“We forgot you were even in there, honey,” David grinned, “What were you doing?”

“I was too high to sit back up,” Trina explained, as if it should be obvious.

“Who were you talking to for so long?” David wanted to know.

But before Trina could answer, Holly and Tiffany came in from outside, wrapped in towels. “Tori, honey, did you start the coffee? Oh, you did,” Holly said.

“Yes, Mom, I did,” Tori sighed.

“Well you never answered my text, so I didn’t even know if you saw it!” Holly replied defensively.

“Oh,” Tori uttered, “You’re right. Whoops.”

“It’s alright,” Holly laughed.

David blinked at Trina as if trying to remember what he had been asking her, then said, “Oh, right, Trina, who were you talking to for so long?”

“I wasn’t talking for that long, I just couldn’t get out of the car. And no one.”

“Really, you got a phone call from no one that you had to take in private?” Jade jabbed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Trina dismissed, “Just someone I might be seeing.”

“Why are you being so shady about it?” Tori asked, her eyes narrowed as she regarded her sister.

“Maybe it’s a woman,” Tiffany suggested, elbowing Holly, who giggled.

“Oh my god, it’s not a woman!” Trina threw her hands up, “I swear, Dad and I being the only straight ones around here is not easy!”

“Hey, now,” Jeremy frowned from being excluded.

David hesitated. “Well…” he began.

Trina’s mouth dropped open, “ _What?!_ ”

He laughed, “I’m just messing with you. I am straight.”

“ _Dad_!” Trina screamed.

David’s laughter just got louder, and soon the whole room joined him, even Trina.

In moments, pies were warming up in the oven, and another pot of coffee was brewing as the first pot was instantly demolished. Jade teased her brother for how much cream and sugar he put in his coffee, until Cat came to his defense, but then Sam immediately started teasing Cat as she sipped her own black coffee. It took three pots of coffee before everyone was satisfied and all four pies were gone. Cat suggested to Sam that she bring her an entire pie of her own next year, but Sam declined, unless Cat could figure out how to make it four different flavors. Cat thought she could definitely do that, which led to everyone being certain that they wanted their own four-flavor pie. Jade wondered if this would actually be a new Thanksgiving tradition or if they’d all forget by the time the gravy high wore off. She thought it might be just one of those ideas that only seemed brilliant when you were high.

The gravy high lingered through the rest of the evening, as people took turns in the jacuzzi or switching channels to different TV show marathons or, in the case of Sam and Jeremy, pulling out leftovers to eat them cold. As the night went on, a few people even partook in more weed, but Jade was pleasantly high enough that she didn’t want to interrupt her experience. It was only a little late by the time everyone started to get ready for bed.

As they were about to head upstairs, Holly spoke, “Oh, Tori,” she said, “In the next month or so, I’d like to ask you to please go through what’s left of yours in the guest room. Your father and I would like to do something a little different with the space. You too, Trina, if anything of yours is still in there.”

“I already cleared out all my stuff,” Trina scoffed, “When you turned _my_ room into a home gym.”

“That’s not true,” Tori bickered, “You still have clothes in that dresser.”

“What _ever_ , I’m not the one who’s been using Mom and Dad as a storage unit for years.”

“Maybe that’s why you got a storage unit in Grandma’s will,” Tori teased.

Trina sniffed haughtily, “I am perfectly happy with my storage unit, thank you very much. I’ve redecorated my whole condo with some really cool antiques.”

“That’s actually kind of awesome,” Jade admitted, wondering what sorts of antiques had been left in Grandma Jean’s storage unit; the old woman had taste. The part of her that had worked as her own set decorator for years itched to go through it.

“I know,” Trina replied condescendingly.

They headed upstairs to start getting ready for bed. Tiffany and Jeremy were sleeping on the couches, Trina was using an air mattress in her old bedroom, and Sam and Cat had brought an air mattress of their own to use on the floor of Tori’s old bedroom. As everyone took turns in the bathroom brushing teeth and putting on pajamas, Tori opened the closet door and stared dazedly at the collection of boxes within. “Oh, boy,” she murmured.

“One thing at a time,” Jade advised.

Tori nodded, shoving her old body pillow even further back into the closet as she grabbed a box and hauled it out. Cat looked on with interest, “Ooh, are we doing this now?” she asked.

“Might as well start looking,” Tori shrugged, “I’m still not that tired yet.”

“Me neither,” Sam agreed from the open bathroom door, where she was washing her face.

“Ooh, you know what else we could do?” Cat perked up.

“What?” Tori asked.

“ _Funny Nugget Show_!” Cat flung her arms into the air with a giggle.

“What’s a Funny Nugget?” Sam wanted to know, “Sounds like a strip club.”

“No, it was a weird thing Cat and I used to do during sleepovers,” Tori laughed, glancing guiltily at Cat, “Oh god,” she looked at Jade, “We were totally trying to rip off _iCarly_. And we were terrible.” Jade remembered saying something similar the previous weekend at The Pleasure Chest. It was as if she’d just seen it click for Tori.

“I don’t know,” Cat said thoughtfully, “The foreign man bit was kinda funny.” She frowned. “I think.”

“Now I _really_ want to see this,” Sam chuckled.

Cat shrugged, “Maybe it was bad, but it was fun. And I bet we could do it even better now.”

“That reminds me, though,” Tori said idly as she picked through the box she’d taken out. From what Jade could tell, it looked mostly like old school supplies, binders stuffed with papers and notebooks filled up with Tori’s loopy scrawl. “I’ve been thinking about doing...I guess a webshow? But like, interviews with people. Sort of like what I do with Mary Jane sometimes, but on SplashFace, so it’s more accessible, and about more topics than just weed. Although,” she leaned over to address Sam in the bathroom, “I was thinking about having you demonstrate your joint rolling method for it.”

“Sure, no problem,” Sam said easily, “It’s really simple.”

“That sounds really cool, Tori,” Cat replied.

“Thanks,” she laughed a bit self-deprecatingly, “I’m not even sure what it would be. Like, I’d probably still want to talk about things like sex and weed, but then my guests would all have to be okay with it, too. But also,” Tori continued thoughtfully, looking at Cat, “Maybe there could be a place for silly sketches, too. People still need to laugh, and the world has been lacking something like _iCarly_ for awhile.”

“Or,” Cat suggested, “Maybe there could be an _iCarly_ reunion when Carly moves here!”

“It’s not out of the question,” Sam said, taking her toothbrush out of her mouth, “We did say we wouldn’t be gone forever.”

“Okay, can you close the door?” Jade asked, wincing from her misophonia. “I don’t need to _hear_ you brushing your teeth.” Sam shrugged, but nudged the door shut.

Tori laughed, “That night you were drunk on the phone in New York you made me listen to you brush your teeth.”

Jade’s face flushed, “I did not.”

“Oh, you did,” high Tori laughed, clearly lacking a filter, “And I had to listen to you pee.”

“I would _never_ ,” Jade denied.

“No, you probably would, if you were drunk,” Cat put in thoughtfully. “Sam used to text me while she was wazzing.”

“Why?” Tori asked warily.

“To tell me she was wazzing,” Cat explained as if this was normal.

“Again...why?” Tori asked, eyebrow lifted now.

“Thought it was funny at the time. Mostly just wanted Cat’s attention,” Sam replied, coming out of the bathroom. Cat got up for her turn, but Sam shook her head, “Trina’s in there.”

“Well, Jade gave me no warning before she initiated phone wazzing,” Tori chuckled.

“You were the one trying to have drunk phone sex with me,” Jade deflected.

“What’s wrong with that?” Tori shrugged shamelessly. She sighed and closed up the cardboard box. “I think this is all trash.”

“One box down!” Cat cheered.

“Speaking of boxes,” Sam smirked, “How’s your pussy, Jade?”

Tori cackled like this was the funniest thing she’d heard all night. “It’s fine,” Jade managed through her own groan that was meant to hide her laughter.

“There’s something special about holiday sex, isn’t there?” Cat observed.

Jade glanced at Tori, who blushed at her leer. “I’d say so.”

“Same. Got to eat _all_ my favorite things today,” Sam wrapped her arms around Cat and nuzzled her cheek, making her giggle.

“It was a great way to start the day,” Tori observed.

“Oh, we didn’t do it in the morning,” Sam refuted bluntly, “We did it in the weight room, when you guys were busy flirting on the couch.”

“You _what_?” Trina flung open the bathroom door. “You two had sex in _my room_?”

“It’s not your room anymore,” Tori rolled her eyes.

“Chill out, we both know to wipe down the gym equipment when we’re finished with it,” Sam teased, leaving Jade with a very vivid picture of Cat on the weight bench and Sam’s head under her skirt. “We used that old t-shirt that was on the floor next to it.”

Trina gaped, grabbing at the shirt she was wearing. “ _This_ t-shirt?!” she screeched in horror.

“Nah, just kidding,” Sam chuckled, though Jade was skeptical.

“Oh my god, you people are a bunch of perverts,” Trina accused.

“If you’re not, I feel sorry for you,” Tori quipped back.

“I have a _very_ normal sex life with a _very_ proficient lover,” Trina shot back. They all stared at her for a long moment. “ _What_?”

“Care to elaborate on this ‘proficient lover?’” Tori asked as she pulled another, smaller box out of the closet.

“It’s none of your business,” Trina folded her arms. “What’s in that box?”

“How should I know? I haven’t even opened it yet.” But Tori was opening it now, sliding the flaps free. She peered in and paused. “Oh,” she uttered.

“What?” Jade asked.

“Uh,” Tori glanced around the room uncertainly, as if she didn’t know if she wanted an audience. “This is the stuff I boxed up, you know. After we broke up.”

“ _When_?” Jade asked, remembering Trina poking around in Tori’s closet that first Thanksgiving after the breakup, but she didn’t think anything like this had been found.

Tori shrugged. “In Canada initially, but then on a trip home I brought it with me to just...put away. Out of sight, out of mind.”

Jade nodded. She certainly understood that coping method. Only her method of getting things out of sight more typically involved throwing things away.

-

“Is this going to make me sad?” Trina frowned, “I really don’t need to relive your breakup.”

“You think _we_ want to relive our breakup?” Tori scowled at her. “No, it’s just...relationship stuff. Like.” She pulled out a gray t-shirt with an image of two men holding cameras on it. “You gave me this shirt junior year,” she told Jade.

“Aww, I remember that shirt,” Cat smiled. “I think I even remember it from back when it fit Jade’s boobs.”

“How do you even remember something like that?” Jade shook her head. “I think I wore it once before it shrunk.”

Tori pulled out a couple of books and DVDs, frowning. Even if they had been gifts from Jade it seemed silly to have boxed them up. She set them aside to take home, and pulled out a shoebox. She opened it to find a bunch of miscellaneous papers--movie ticket stubs, playbills, printed out scripts, an envelope with a red wax seal on the back...okay, most of this she should go through later, either in private or with only Jade. But just beneath the surface was a CD jewel case that caught her interest. She was positive Jade had never made her an old school mix CD, so she pulled it out with a frown.

“What is that?” Jade asked, seeming equally curious.

“Oh, shit,” Tori muttered, reading the cover of the jewel case, “It’s our _Hello, Future Me_ projects that Sikowitz gave us.”

“Ooh,” Cat perked up, “Sam and I watch mine sometimes, because she’s in it a lot, and it’s like going back in time!”

“Yeah, even before we were dating, I couldn’t get enough of you,” Sam smirked.

“You two are gross,” Trina commented. “Not because you’re gay or whatever, just because you’re precious.”

“Aww, you’re so sweet!” Cat cooed back.

“I haven’t watched mine since I turned it in,” Tori realized. “I didn’t even think about it when ten years went by.”

“Me neither,” Jade confessed quietly, “I don’t even know where mine ended up. It wasn’t with the rest of my stuff at my mom’s house.”

Tori opened the jewel case and examined the disc. “Maybe I can play it downstairs on the DVD player,” she realized.

“Not right now you can’t, not with my mom and my brother sleeping on the couches,” Jade put in.

Tori nodded absently, “You’re right, in the morning.” She shoved the t-shirt and the books and DVDs back in the box and closed it up, setting it to the side and leaving the _Hello, Future Me_ disc on top. “I’ll go through the rest of that later.”

“Sure, whatever,” Trina replied, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“I guess that’s where we’re all heading, too,” Tori agreed. “Night, Trina,” she said, the sentiment echoed by the other women in the room.

Jade eyed their friends on the air mattress, “We’re not going to wake up to you two going at it, are we?”

“Did you bring your collar?” Tori put in, asking Cat directly.

“I _always_ bring my collar,” Cat replied with a giggle.

“We’ll behave if you two will,” Sam looked between Tori and Jade, “Looked like things were getting pretty heated down there on that couch earlier.”

“We can control ourselves,” Jade said with finality. Tori caught her gaze with a smirk, which made Jade blush a little.

But when they curled up in a familiar bed together, one they’d slept in together far more often than even their bed at home, there was temptation to kiss and let hands wander. She could see in Jade’s eyes that she was having similar thoughts, so Tori pressed a chaste goodnight kiss to her mouth and turned over, letting Jade spoon up against her, hand slipping up into Tori’s shirt to press against her bare stomach.

The most risque it got between them was when they turned over to switch positions in the night, and Tori let her hand drift up to grab Jade’s breast, but even that was more for comfort and reassurance than anything else.

In the morning, Tori slept in a little later than usual, and finally unwrapped herself from around Jade to survey the room. Jade was definitely still asleep, and Cat was cuddled up on Sam’s shoulder on the air mattress (Sam was snoring lightly, but possibly due to the nose strip she wore, it wasn’t loud enough to keep any of them awake). Tori made her way carefully through the room stuffed full of too much furniture, boxes, and an air mattress taking up most of the floor, and quietly exited out into the hall.

Downstairs, Tiffany’s couch was empty, but Jeremy was still asleep. Maybe he was a heavy sleeper like his sister. Trina was standing in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hands. As Tori drew closer, she realized that Tiffany and her mom were drinking coffee out on the patio together. Her dad must still be asleep.

Tori got down four mugs and set them next to the coffee maker, which was still brewing. Trina was watching her, and Tori sent her a tired smile, “Good morning,” she murmured, trying to stay on the quiet side since Jeremy was still on the couch.

“Morning,” Trina replied, taking another sip from her cup, still scrutinizing Tori. Tori was about to ask her what her problem was when Trina said, “So, you and Jade, huh?”

“Yeah…” Tori drawled in confusion, “It isn’t new anymore, Trina.”

“No, it’s not,” Trina shrugged, “But I haven’t seen you two until now.”

“What’s your point?”

“I was worried,” Trina replied bluntly, “Because of what happened last time. How badly you hurt Jade.”

“I was hurt, too, you know,” Tori frowned, prickling at the implication that it had been easy for her.

“Yeah, but you had things to distract you, ways to cope.”

“ _Barely_ ,” Tori shot back, before remembering to stay quiet, “It was _awful_. I felt very alone up there, and even though I was never mad that our families blended for holidays after the breakup, it was _really hard_ on me.”

Trina scrutinized her for a long moment. “You never told me about any of that.”

Tori threw up her hands. “What was I supposed to say? What good would it have done? It’s not like I knew you and Jade were becoming friends, or that you were comparing our heartache.” Tori took a breath, feeling the memory of the swirl of complicated pain that she’d dealt with mostly alone for too long, before she’d really begun delving into therapy. “We didn’t talk much, then, anyway,” she pointed out.

“You’re right,” Trina agreed. “I was jealous and you were...busy,” she spoke both honestly and with as much tact as she was capable of.

“I was busy, sure, but I wasn’t exactly being a great sister, either,” Tori admitted.

“Well, the nice thing about sisters is you’re kind of stuck with each other,” Trina smiled wryly. “But I was afraid for you both, before,” Trina’s expression turned hard again, “During the funeral and stuff. You two were so close, and everything was so complicated, I didn’t want to see you both get hurt again.”

“Didn’t want to see Jade get hurt again, you mean,” Tori mumbled.

“Only because I know the kinds of things you get into--” here Tori shot her a severe but baffled glare as she tried to parse out exactly what about her lifestyle Trina was criticizing, “--and because I know you have the ability to hurt Jade like no one else can. But it’s not like I wanted to see you get hurt, either.”

“No, you just didn’t think I had enough of a heart _to_ get hurt.”

Trina scowled and sighed, “Okay, if you’re gonna be like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Tori rubbed her forehead, “I haven’t even had any coffee yet and you’re laying this on me.”

“I’m just trying to tell you,” Trina huffed, “That after seeing you two together...I’m genuinely happy for you. Seriously. I’m glad you both figured it out and are doing this like...like adults, I guess. A long time ago, you kind of brought out the best in each other, and I didn’t know what to expect now, but it’s still true. So I’m going to be really serious here. I love you both so much. Don’t screw this up. You make me sick but you’re kind of perfect together.”

“Trina,” Tori murmured, trying not to tear up.

Trina rolled her eyes, “You’re my baby sister, I only want what’s best for you.” She set down her coffee cup and offered Tori a hug.

“She’s right, though,” a male voice spoke. They pulled apart to see Jeremy’s head, dark hair askew, looking at them over the back of the couch.

“I thought you were asleep. And who is?” Trina asked, her voice half a challenge.

“You are.” Jeremy stood up and walked into the kitchen, surveying the coffee pot as he pulled down his own mug. “The happiest I ever see my sister is when she’s making a movie or with Tori,” he said simply.

“Imagine if she made a movie _with_ Tori,” Trina gushed suddenly.

“I dunno,” Jeremy mumbled with a smirk, “That might be a dangerous amount of joy. We Wests aren’t really built for it.”

“We’ve collaborated before,” Tori rolled her eyes, “She survived.”

“Sure, but imagine if it was something _big_ ,” Trina flung her arm out in a flourish.

“Pretty sure my acting days are behind me,” Tori said lightly, pouring four cups of coffee and half a cup for Jeremy before grinding more beans to brew another pot. As the coffee started, she gathered up her coffees and started for the stairs.

“Is it a gay thing that makes them so clueless and stubborn?” Trina asked Jeremy, probably rhetorically, making Tori sigh with irritation, but she ignored Trina.

“Well, Jade’s bi,” Jeremy corrected, making Tori smile a little at his conscientiousness, “And I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like it’s not that easy to be straight, either.”

“Speak for yourself,” Trina scoffed as Tori rounded the landing on the staircase.

When she got to the door, she realized she hadn’t thought this through, because both hands were full of coffee. She tapped lightly on the door with her toe, and just as she thought no one was awake and she was about to put down two of the coffees onto the floor, Cat opened the bedroom door and grinned at her. “Hi, Tori,” she said quietly.

“I have coffee,” Tori whispered back, “Is everyone else asleep?”

“No,” Cat replied in the same tone.

“Then why are we whispering?”

“I don’t know.” She stepped back to let Tori into the room. Sam was sitting on the air mattress, blonde curls a wild mane around her face, but Jade was buried under the covers completely. Tori carefully set two of the coffees onto Trina’s old desk for Sam and Cat (one black, one light and sweet), and took the other two (both black, one with one sugar) over to the bed.

“Jade,” she said. The only response was a groan from within the blankets. Tori sighed. Was it 2012 again? “Jade. I have coffee. And if you stick your arm out right now--” she stopped talking, because Jade did exactly that. “That’s it, I’m drinking your coffee.”

Jade whipped the covers off her head. “How dare you?”

“Good morning to you, too,” Tori pressed a kiss to the top of her head and handed her a coffee. The kiss made her smile, but the first sip of coffee made her whole being glow.

Before long, though, Trina’s voice came from the stairs, “Guys, pie for breakfast is almost ready!”

“Pie?” Sam perked up.

“For breakfast?” Cat repeated.

“I thought we ate all the pie,” Tori frowned.

“They must’ve been holding out on us,” Sam replied.

“Holding out on _you_ , you mean,” Jade raised her eyebrows at Sam.

“Probably smart,” Sam admitted.

On the way out of the bedroom, Tori grabbed the jewel case with the _Hello, Future Me_ projects on it. While everyone else was refilling coffees and asking what kind of pie there was, Tori turned on the Blu-Ray/DVD player and inserted the disc.

But all that came up was a message that said _Error: Incompatible Format_.

“That means it’s probably a data DVD instead of a playable one,” Jade spoke from behind her, “We’d need to play the file on a computer or something.”

Tori sighed, “Neither my work computer or my laptop even have a disc drive anymore.”

“Mine, either,” Jade shook her head.

Tori noticed that Cat was nearby, “Hey, Cat,” she called as she ejected the disc. “You said you watch your _Hello, Future Me_ project sometimes, right?”

“Yeah,” Cat nodded. “It makes me feel like I’m actually in the future!”

“Can you send me mine? And Jade’s?”

Cat shook her head, frowning slightly, “No, I’m sorry. I don’t have all of them. I probably have the disc somewhere, like you, but I only watch mine because I kept the file and still have it on my computer.”

“Oh,” Tori deflated, “Okay, thanks.”

After breakfast, Holly, Tiffany, Trina, and Jeremy were planning to do some Black Friday shopping (a lot of stores eventually gave up the struggle of starting their huge sales earlier and earlier and just had different sales hourly). David was not interested, and Tori and Jade weren’t particularly interested, either. Cat was forbidden from Black Friday shopping in general because the temptation was too great; she and Sam agreed on a budget for her to do some Cyber Monday shopping and that was all she was allowed to indulge in. So Tori spent a little more time going through the closet before going home.

Which was good, because she found her old monster purse.

“Oh my god, I _loved_ this bag!” Tori exclaimed, pulling it out of a box full of other old bags and purses.

“Oh god,” Jade tried to hide her laughter, “It’s back.”

Cat giggled, “That bag is almost as big as you are!”

Even Sam laughed in recognition, “I remember when you used to carry that thing! I could never understand why you needed that much space.”

“I had a lot of things to carry!” Tori said defensively, “Makeup, tissues, my wallet, snacks, water, books, notebooks, sometimes my computer…” she dug around in the bag itself, because by the weight of it, there was still stuff in there, and she gasped as she pulled out her old laptop. One that had a disc drive. “YES! Jade, look!” she pointed at the drive.

Jade brightened, “No way! That’s great! Does it still work?”

“I think so. I upgraded when I went to Canada, but not because this one was broken. I’m sure the battery is dead, but...” She dug around in her monster purse for the cord.

But the celebration was short lived, because any kind of charging cable for it was nowhere to be found. Tori even checked the rest of the box the purse was in, but no luck. She guessed it could be in any of the other boxes in the closet, but she certainly didn’t have time to look now.

Still, though, Tori loaded her monster purse with the computer inside of it into her car with the box of Jade memorabilia. She didn’t think she still had a cord that old in her house or at her office, but she’d look, and otherwise, she’d just probably order one. Assuming someone still made them.

They dropped Sam and Cat off back in Venice and headed home themselves. Jade had work that evening, and though she wasn’t in a rush when they got back, she was focused on preparing for her jobs. Tori took care of a few household things; even just an overnight away made her feel like she had a lot to come back to (unpacking her overnight bag, emptying the dishwasher, taking the trash cans around front, making a grocery list, checking the mail). By the time she felt like she’d caught up on household tasks, Jade came through the patio door with her camera gear, kissed Tori, and then headed out the front door to her truck to go take holiday portraits or whatever work she’d accepted.

Tori spent some time on her computer and her phone catching up on social media, since she really hadn’t looked at all the day before. It was occasionally fun to mindlessly scroll for a while, especially when she didn’t have anything else really calling for her attention, but Tori could really only do it for so long before she realized she wasn’t really processing what she was looking at.

Tori remembered the box of Jade memorabilia that was in the car, and the computer. She checked her desk briefly, confirming that she definitely didn’t have a computer charger that old, but then went out to the car to get the box and brought it into the living room.

She took out the couple of books and DVDs first, finding space for them on her shelves. It had been silly to even box them up, and luckily she’d never replaced them over the years they’d sat in a box. As she organized her shelves, she wondered if Jade would ever want to bring her media into the house, or if she preferred to keep their collections separate. It was certainly something to ask. Balancing merging their lives with maintaining private spaces was a process they were still figuring out.

And then Tori really started delving into the rest of the contents of the box.

On top was the t-shirt Jade had given her, with the men with cameras, and there were a few other articles of clothing as well. The jacket Tori had worn to the Platinum Music Awards that Jade had then worn for the rest of the night after Tori had performed. A t-shirt with a logo for Tumbleweed Coffee on it that Jade had sent her during her first summer in Canada, because “you like shirts with the names of places on them,” that had been her preferred sleep shirt basically until they broke up. A Venice Beach tank top Jade had bought for her when they went to renew their medical marijuana cards their freshman year of college that had been her preferred sleep shirt before that.

The jacket was a little tight on her shoulders, but maybe Cat could do something about that. The shirts were still in reasonably good shape. Maybe they could go back into circulation as workout clothes or something. Tori liked that idea. She wondered what would happen if she just wore one in front of Jade one day.

She tossed the old shirts in her laundry basket but left the jacket out, intending to show it to Jade when she got home. She pulled out the shoe box full of papers but then noticed a picture frame beneath it, and lifted out the framed photo of her and Jade with Mrs. Lee that had once hung on the Celebrity Wall at Nozu. She remembered when Jade had proudly presented it to her when they celebrated their first year together, back in high school, a photograph to commemorate their first official date that, if Tori remembered correctly (and she was pretty sure she did), happened the day after the Platinum Music Awards, after that first night Jade stayed over in her bed.

The details of that night weren’t as clear in memory as they used to be--Tori had spent some time trying to forget--but the emotional intensity remained. Tori remembered riding high on their night at the awards show, the heart-wrenching sweetness of their reconnection in the limo, and the excitement as they’d kissed on her bed and Jade encouraged her to touch her breasts...Tori could still remember the free-falling sensation in her stomach, the thrumming of her heart, the strong pull of connection they shared as they kissed and touched each other, the realization that they were working toward something together, that what they felt for each other was more than just physical.

Tori set the picture aside and opened the shoe box again. She sifted through countless movie ticket stubs, some faded to the point of being indecipherable. There were concert tickets-- _Vampire Weekend_ , _Katy Perry_ , _Kesha_ (which had been a great show even if it wasn’t in Tori’s living room that time). Playbills for shows that Jade was in, or that they’d seen together either because a friend was in it or because Tori had to see the show for a college class. Printed out scripts for short films Jade had made, or shows from high school, including the one she and Jade had marked up together for Jade’s semester project about the Ghost Woman.

Tori unfolded something unfamiliar and found a menu for a Chinese restaurant that was covered in writing and drawings and abruptly remembered the night she, Jade, Sam, and Cat had gone out to eat and had created an elaborate story about a woman who was sitting near them that Jade was convinced was a time traveler because of her slightly old-fashioned clothes and the fact that she did not seem to be carrying any kind of Pear product. They’d whispered and written things on the placemat and tried not to stare at the woman, and they’d created a whole plan to try to follow her after they ate, but when Sam discreetly stepped out of the restaurant after her to observe where she went, she came back looking slightly disturbed and said the woman was nowhere to be seen. Tori rotated the placemat, reading all the things that had been scrawled on it, and knew that no one who saw this would be able to make any sense of it--it barely made sense to _her_ at this point. But it was a night she’d almost forgotten, and was glad for the tactile reminder.

There was the envelope with the red wax seal that she’d recognized right away, and she opened it to extract the beautifully lettered calligraphy that Jade had written years ago, titled _Stuff I Hate_ , followed by a list of grievances mostly having to do with the week they couldn’t use their phones because of the bet with Sikowitz and Jade wanting to use Tori’s jacuzzi. Oh, and Trina, who at the time ranked pretty deservedly high on Jade’s hate list. It was _very_ Jade, simultaneously bitter and romantic, negative yet sweet, and Tori remembered how much it had meant to her, how many times she’d looked at it, especially during moments they missed each other, either when they were busy at college, or when she was in Canada. She wondered if Jade even knew how important it had been to her.

Most of what was in the bottom of the box was obscured by the black wig that Tori had used to dress up as Jade. She lifted that out of the way to see what was left and her eyes immediately landed on the breast-shaped stress ball that Jade had bought her at The Pleasure Chest. It had been an extremely silly thing, but Tori had kept it on her desk during college, idly squeezing it while reading her textbooks or trying to brainstorm on her assignments, fingers running absently over the nipple as she worked. It really wasn’t much like a breast at all, but it amused her.

She also saw the broken handcuffs that they’d tried out together and shuddered, setting them aside. She didn’t understand why she hadn’t just thrown those out years ago. There was also the decal that had been on the Shaggin’ Wagon for a short time that said “Free Moustache Rides” folded up and melted together at the bottom of the box, and there was a small jewelry box.

Just as Tori pulled the jewelry box out, there was the sound of the patio door opening, and Jade came into the house. Tori must’ve been so absorbed in what she was doing that she hadn’t heard the truck come home, or noticed Jade in the backyard putting her camera gear in the guest house. “Hey,” Jade greeted.

“Hey,” Tori straightened on the couch, turning to smile at her, “How’d it go?”

“Fine,” Jade replied neutrally, her eyes landing on the assortment of items surrounding Tori on the couch and on the coffee table. “What’s all this?” she asked, though from her tone, it sounded like she already knew.

Tori gestured, “I was going through that box I found last night with all the stuff I put away from when we dated the first time.”

Jade’s eyes darted around, and she slowly walked around to the front of the couch, picking up the black jacket they’d both worn the night of the Platinum Music Awards. “Damn,” she breathed, “I don’t know if I’m more surprised that you kept this jacket or that you packed it away because it reminded you of me.”

Tori’s lip twitched into a half-smile, “I looked at you wearing my jacket all night that night. Pretty hard to forget.”

Jade returned her own wistful smile, fingering the fabric, gazing around at the other items. She realized Tori was holding the jewelry box and asked, “What’s in there?”

“I haven’t opened it yet.” Jade’s expression suggested she was eager to hang around and find out, so Tori lifted the lid of the jewelry box. The first thing she pulled out was a moustache, the adhesive on the back so old that it was no longer functional. She held it up with a laugh. “Remember this?”

Jade stared, “There’s no way you kept that.”

Tori nodded, “Sure did. Walter’s moustache.”

“I was sure you threw that away just before you kissed me.”

“Nope. Stuck it in my pocket.”

Jade shook her head, “You’re insane.”

“Maybe,” Tori shrugged. She pulled out another token, the bottle cap to a Yikes Hard Lemonade. “From the same night,” she told Jade, passing it to her.

Jade smirked, running her thumb over the top of the bottle cap. “That really was a memorable night, wasn’t it?”

“Mmhmm,” Tori drawled, “First we kissed in the pool house, then I climbed on top of you in the back seat of your car.” She took the bottle cap back, rolling it through her fingers. “I guess even before we got in your car, I knew it was a night I’d want to remember, because I kept this.”

Jade seemed to be lost in a memory for a moment. “Yeah,” she murmured, “The back of the car.”

“I haven’t thought about this night in a long time,” Tori said nostalgically, watching Jade in her reverie.

“Me neither,” Jade shook her head slightly. “Though, I just remembered something about it, but I don’t know if I should say,” she admitted.

“Okay, now you _have_ to tell me.”

“I don’t _have_ to do anything,” Jade refuted.

“But I _want_ you to,” Tori pouted.

“Fine, but only because _I_ want to tell you.” Jade shifted on the couch, facing Tori a little more. “That night when you half-drunkenly--” Tori scoffed, because she hadn’t been _that_ far gone, “--got on top of me and kissed me in my car was...kind of really intense for me, and when I got home...pretty sure that I was the first time I...got myself off while thinking about you.”

Tori stared, “ _Really_?”

Jade nodded with the hint of a grin. “Yep,” she said, emphasizing the _p_ at the end of her word.

“ _Jade_ ,” Tori uttered.

“What?!” she replied defensively.

Tori laughed in disbelief, “I...it took me a _lot_ longer to get there. I even asked Patrice about whether it was okay the first time I talked to her!”

“You asked _Patrice_ if you could _masturbate_ about me!?” Jade asked incredulously.

“Not in those exact words!” Tori cried, “But I didn’t know if it was _ethical_!”

Jade doubled over with laughter. “ _Ethical_ ,” she wheezed.

Tori scowled, “Okay, well _anyway_ ,” she put the bottle cap back and pulled out a bracelet, and thrust it at Jade with more force than necessary. “Remember this?” she asked, annoyance still in her tone.

Jade slowly controlled her laughter as she caught sight of it. “Of course I do,” she finally said, shaking her head. “I gave it to you because I couldn’t fucking figure out what to get you for your birthday.”

Tori chuckled, “You got better at gifts over time.”

Jade took it from Tori, shaking her head. “I’m...pretty sure it was also because I was too much of a coward to ask you to be my girlfriend.”

“Really?” Tori asked.

“Think so,” Jade replied.

There were a few other pieces of jewelry in there that Jade had given her over the years, including the jade star necklace that she’d given Tori at the airport just before she left for Canada for the first time, but Tori decided not to show that one right now. As much as being apart for three weeks had done a lot to heal Tori’s guilt and to give her a new empathy for Jade, Canada still represented the beginning of the end for their first relationship, and Tori didn’t know that she wanted to revisit it right now. It was different from the star ring she now wore daily; that had been something representing the end of their relationship that they’d recontextualized to signify their reconnection. The jade star necklace, to Tori, was still a piece of false optimism that marked the decline of their relationship.

Instead, she pulled out a little acorn from the jewelry box.

“My lucky acorn,” she said happily as she showed Jade.

Jade passed back the bracelet and eyed the acorn. “You know, I almost checked the jacket pockets for that. I remembered there was _something_ in them, but not _what_ , exactly. Also, how do you still have that?”

“You never get rid of a lucky acorn!” Tori said, scandalized. “Especially when you carried it the night you touched a boob for the first time.”

Jade smirked, “Oh, I recall. But, you know, I carried it for most of that night.”

“Yeah, I guess it brought us both some good luck,” Tori winked.

Jade rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her smile, “You’re ridiculous.”

“You dare to deny the power of the lucky acorn?” Tori challenged.

“Never!” Jade said with mock seriousness before she leaned in to kiss Tori, hand running very deliberately over her breast. “Oh,” she said as she pulled away, “The acorn made me do it.”

“Gank,” Tori said affectionately, putting the acorn back in the jewelry box.

-

Jade was back and forth between appointments and home all weekend, but Monday morning offered a bit of a reprieve, since she didn’t have anything scheduled until the afternoon. She had a pretty busy week ahead of her, but after that, she intended to keep the promise she'd made to Tori about taking most of December off for the holidays. And for herself. Honestly, she'd been hustling since she'd moved back to LA and she deserved the break.

It was a little too chilly for coffee on the patio, so she and Tori were draped across the sofa, both of them sipping from their mugs, Jade reading reviews of a new digital light meter on her PearPad while Tori...actually, she wasn't sure what Tori was doing. She had her laptop in front of her and she kept grumbling every few minutes.

"What's happening over there?" Jade finally asked.

"I'm trying to find the right charger for my old PearBook."

"Hasn't literally every single person alive owned a PearBook in the last decade?"

"Yeah, and I thought it would be easy. But I guess they changed something kind of major with the 2020 models to make them more efficient and, I don't know, something about reducing emissions in production."

"I take it all that nerd-speak means you're not finding what you want." Tori pouted at the minor jab, but Jade shifted her position on the couch so she could kiss her shoulder. "We could probably just buy a cheap old computer if you really want to see what's on that disc."

"I guess," Tori sighed. "I was just curious to see what else was on that laptop."

"Some stuff just goes away," Jade said, thinking about everything she'd tossed when she'd thought there was no way she'd want to remember that period of her life, anymore. But then, she realized something. "Wait..." She grabbed her phone and sent a text to her brother.

**Do you still have your old PearBook?**

No immediate reply. She didn't know if that meant he was still asleep or in class or at work or what. She really had no idea what her little brother's schedule was like. Maybe she should hang out with him more often than major holidays.

Tori was eyeing her, curiously. "What's up?"

"Just seeing if maybe Jeremy has one, but who knows when he'll get--" Jade's phone buzzed.

**I think so but it's probably buried in the closet**

**why?**

**I need the charger**

**just for a day or so**

**Tori has an old computer she needs to get into**

**okay**

**I'll look for it**

**rental is $20 a day**

**whatever**

**thanks, baby brother**

Jade rolled her eyes, but laughed as she closed the text app. “He’s going to look for it.”

“Well, then I guess I can stop searching online and you can make us breakfast.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking omelettes, some French toast, oooh, maybe fresh squeezed juice.”

Jade looked around the room. “Is there another person here who you’re talking to?”

Tori gave an exaggerated groan and said, “Fine, I’ll help you,” before rising from the couch and pulling at Jade’s arm. “Come on, I’ll show you where the omelette pans are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Side to Side_ by Ariana Grande.
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> When Jade came home that Monday evening, she circled around to the guest house to put her camera gear away first, as usual. When she came into the house through the patio door, she could see right away that Tori wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room. She was pretty sure she’d seen Tori’s car parked on the street, though, so she headed back toward the bedroom. “Tori?” she called while she was in the hallway.
> 
> “Oh! You’re home.” The response sounded a little surprised, and Jade only had a moment to consider what that might mean as she stepped through the doorway and into the bedroom.
> 
> To find Tori in a black and pink pantsuit and knee-high boots, hands on her hips, standing over a woman in jeans and a flannel shirt kneeling over by the wall next to the bathroom door. Jade looked away quickly, “Oh my god. Am I...interrupting something?” she asked.
> 
> “What are you talking about?” Tori asked.
> 
> “I mean...are you...working right now?” Jade ventured a guess.
> 
> “No, but Josefina is,” Jade caught the way Tori gestured to the kneeling woman out of the corner of her eye and turned to take another look. Tori was gazing at her quizzically, “Why would I be working right now? And in here?”
> 
> “I don’t know, you just look--” Jade gestured at her outfit, noting again the color scheme and the footwear and reassuring herself that she wasn’t completely out of her mind to think that this might’ve had something to do with Mistress Tawny. Tori wasn’t wearing her glasses, though she also wasn’t wearing The Mistress’s bangs, either.
> 
> But now Tori was just smirking at her, “I was at a board meeting,” she explained. Jade still didn’t quite understand what ‘The Board’ that put on the Fet Ball was actually responsible for, but she also knew that Mistress Tawny and not Tori was the person listed as a board member. Maybe some of that headspace was required even for meetings. “And you’re not interrupting anything except the surprise I arranged for you.”


	16. Thirteen: You can talk to me, You can set your secrets free, baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains consensual exploration of BDSM.

When Jade came home that Monday evening, she circled around to the guest house to put her camera gear away first, as usual. As she entered the house through the patio door, she could see right away that Tori wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room. She was pretty sure she’d seen Tori’s car parked on the street, though, so she headed back toward the bedroom. “Tori?” she called while she was in the hallway.

“Oh! You’re home.” The response sounded a little surprised, and Jade only had a moment to consider what that might mean as she stepped through the doorway and into the bedroom.

To find Tori in a black and pink pantsuit and knee-high boots, hands on her hips, standing over a woman in jeans and a flannel shirt kneeling near the wall next to the bathroom door. Jade looked away quickly, “Oh my god. Am I...interrupting something?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?” Tori asked.

“I mean...are you...working right now?” Jade ventured a guess.

“No, but Josefina is,” Jade caught the way Tori gestured to the kneeling woman out of the corner of her eye and turned to take another look. Tori was gazing at her quizzically, “Why would I be working right now? And in here?”

“I don’t know, you just look--” Jade gestured at her outfit, noting again the color scheme and the footwear and reassuring herself that she wasn’t completely out of her mind to think that this might’ve had something to do with Mistress Tawny. Tori wasn’t wearing her glasses, though she also wasn’t wearing The Mistress’s bangs, either.

But now Tori was just smirking at her, “I was at a board meeting,” she explained. Jade still didn’t quite understand what ‘The Board’ that put on the Fet Ball was actually responsible for, but she also knew that Mistress Tawny and not Tori was the person listed as a board member. Maybe some of that headspace was required even for meetings. “And you’re not interrupting anything except the surprise I arranged for you.”

“Surprise? What surprise?” Jade asked immediately, stepping closer. She looked away from Tori toward the kneeling woman--Josefina, apparently. Who was now looking at Jade over her shoulder, expression amused. And who, now that Jade got a good look at her, she could see was _very_ attractive. “Uh.” She looked back at Tori, who was watching her in amusement.

“Josefina is a plumber,” Tori explained slowly, as if she thought Jade needed a _lot_ of help (which, at this point, Jade was inclined to agree that she did), “And she’s here installing the water line for the new coffee maker in the bedroom.”

“She--wait,” Jade had to take a moment to process all of this, because she was _still_ a little stuck on Tori dressed all domme-y and standing over a gorgeous kneeling woman, even one dressed as casually as Josefina was. “A coffee maker?” she finally managed.

“Yeah…” Tori drawled, turning away from Jade to lean over, apparently looking at whatever Josefina was working on, and looking very similar to how she’d looked when Jade first walked in, except now she could see that Tori was merely interested instead of authoritative. She and Josefina exchanged a few words in Spanish, and Tori nodded about whatever they were talking about--even if it was within Jade’s ability to translate, they spoke too quickly and quietly. Then, Tori stepped away and guided Jade out of the room. “All right, let’s let her work,” she said.

“ _I_ wasn’t doing anything,” Jade protested as she followed Tori down the hall, “ _You_ were the one standing over her like--” she stopped before she said anything that might embarrass Josefina. Or Tori.

But Tori just laughed, “She was just showing me what she had to do, to the wall and everything. She’s really great, though. She was part of the team that remodeled the bathroom, and I had her do some work in the Fungeon as well.”

“Oh,” Jade replied, following Tori back out to the kitchen. She guessed Josefina probably had some idea about Tori’s occupation then.

She wondered if Josefina was a client.

But then she began considering the actual fact of a plumber in the bedroom. “So, wait,” she began, “A water line? In the bedroom?” She settled onto a stool at the kitchen island.

Tori nodded, opening the fridge, probably assessing their dinner options. “Right. There’s already plumbing in that wall because it’s adjacent to the bathroom, so it was the best option.”

“What _kind_ of coffee maker needs a water line?” Honestly, if Tori was putting a whole ass espresso machine in the bedroom, Jade...well, she didn’t know how she would feel about that.

“It’s a k-cup machine,” Tori replied, closing the fridge and opening a cabinet instead. “The ones with a water line tend to be easier to use and more hygienic than the ones with water reservoirs. And don’t worry, Static Roasters make their own biodegradable single origin k-cups, so it’s going to make decent coffee.”

That made Jade feel better; a bedroom espresso machine would have been _too much_ and Jade was pretty sure she’d actually hate it. But maybe because she was still a little embarrassed to have misread the situation she’d come home to, but something about it rubbed Jade the wrong way a little. “Don’t you think we should have talked about it first?”

Tori turned to face her, the kitchen island between them, her eyebrows lifted. “We _did_ talk about it. You’ve been begging for one. For years.”

“I did _not_ beg.”

“You requested it, repeatedly. But, if it’s a problem I can just have Josefina take it out--”

“No! No-no-no-no!” Jade’s arm flailed, involuntarily.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I…” Jade tried to figure out what was bothering her about it, but then, she’d gotten a jacuzzi without a word of warning to Tori. “You’re right. We did talk about it,” she relented.

Tori scrutinized her for a moment, “I’m thinking the surprise would’ve gone over a little better if we’d had it finished before you got here.” She reached into a low cabinet to get a skillet.

“Maybe,” Jade agreed. Her mind was kind of exhausted after a busy day, and it seemed she was just now getting around to the part where she truly grasped that _Tori was putting a coffee maker in the bedroom_. For her. The very thing she’d joked about since high school, had thrived on in her college dorm room and in hotel rooms over the years, had asked for in a vulnerable moment as she recovered from intense sex...Tori had taken it upon herself to make it a reality. “Sorry I spoiled the surprise,” Jade said, “Because if I’d come home to it, I probably would have reacted _very_ differently.”

“Oh?” Tori asked, lip twitching into a smirk, as she glanced up at Jade. “What _ever_ could you mean?”

“I’m just saying I would’ve found a way to thank you. Thoroughly. Maybe orally.”

“If this is going to be your new way of expressing gratitude, I’m all for it,” Tori teased.

“Well, it takes almost as long to get you off with my mouth as it does to _say_ thank you, so--” she noticed Tori’s expression had shifted and she was looking behind Jade, and she knew right away that Josefina was behind her, and winced.

“All finished, Ms. Vega,” Josefina spoke, sounding like she was making an effort to sound professional. “The water line is connected to the coffee machine. I went ahead and plugged it in for you and it looks like it’s working normally. If you want to brew a test cup before I go, I will wait.”

“Thank you, Josefina,” Tori replied, then looked to Jade, “Want to try it out?”

“Absolutely.” Jade stepped down off of her barstool and ducked her head awkwardly as she passed Josefina, who she could have _sworn_ was smirking at her.

It turned out that Tori had already bought some k-cups from Static, and she presented one to Jade. The machine itself was pretty much like any other single serving coffee maker Jade had used over the years, so she figured out pretty quickly how to get what she wanted, and within a minute, there was the hissing sound of pressurized hot water moving through the machine and a stream of fragrant coffee drizzling into the mug Tori had brought in from the kitchen. Jade grinned at Tori, and even glanced at Josefina, who hung back near the doorway, nodding in approval.

Tori walked Josefina to the door while Jade watched her coffee brew, and by the time she took her full cup out to the front of the house again, Josefina was gone, and Tori was in the kitchen again.

Jade felt embarrassed, this time about her weird reaction to the whole thing. “I am really grateful that you did this,” she assured Tori as she sat at the kitchen island with her coffee (which, for k-cup coffee, was _really good_ ).

Tori gave her a smile. “You know, I would’ve thought the plumbing work van parked in front of the house would’ve been a tip off for what was going on here. Wonder what it says about you that your mind went somewhere different.”

“I didn’t even see the work van,” Jade said honestly. It wasn’t in her spot in the driveway, so it hadn’t caught her attention. “And I think it’s less about me and more about the fact that I live with a _dominatrix_.”

“Watch what you say, because if you invite Mistress Tawny here, you’ll be the one making dinner tonight,” Tori quipped.

“Invite her here?” Jade asked incredulously, “What, is she like Beetlejuice?”

“Maybe call her name three times and find out,” Tori suggested.

Jade opted not to and, instead, helped Tori prepare their dinner.

By the middle of the week, Jade was at the point where she couldn’t wait to have a break for the rest of the month. Portraits were relatively easy, if exhausting, and interacting with so many people during the day left Jade feeling socially drained by the evening. She came home on Wednesday evening to an empty house. She knew Tori was working--she assumed doing a workshop, since that was typically what evening work entailed for her. She figured that meant she had a couple hours to herself.

That actually worked for Jade. During slower moments at work (usually waiting for people to show up) or driving around the city, she’d allowed herself to daydream about the strap-on sex they’d had the week before. There hadn’t really been time for sex since then, and Jade realized as she was coming home that she was actually pretty aroused. It was the kind of feeling she was used to, being tired from work and just wanting to get off on her own for the purpose of relief. Even if Tori were home, she wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy for actual _sex_.

So, Jade headed into the guest house. The bed she hadn’t slept in for almost two months was still there. Most of her belongings were, actually. Including her sex toys, even the new one she’d bought at The Pleasure Chest a few weekends ago. And that was the one she’d wanted to use. She needed penetration, and, hell, she wanted to try out her new purchase, too. It seemed like a good opportunity.

As she washed her new toy, she considered whether she needed any additional stimulation. It was certainly helpful when she was by herself, though she had a feeling she might be able to work with just her memories from the previous week. But then it occurred to her that if Tori was going to be in her thoughts anyway, she might as well use material that _featured_ her. She was pretty sure she’d been billed for yet another month of Virtual Encounters by now, so...why the hell not?

Jade situated herself on her bed, pantsless, her new toy and small bottle of lube standing by, and her VR headset on. She navigated to Officer Pedesko’s section of the Virtual Encounters page and selected a recent video she hadn’t watched yet. Before she’d gotten back together with Tori, it had felt safer somehow to indulge in the videos in which Officer Pedesko was acting with another adult performer. But, maybe because she’d learned that Tori might have occasionally slept with those adult performers afterwards, or maybe just because at this point she could more freely enjoy having all of Tori’s attention on her, Jade’s preference had shifted, and she chose one of the immersive videos with the camera set up in the cage.

Jade got lost in it quickly, in Tori--no, Officer Pedesko--strutting and swaggering in front of her, nightstick rasping menacingly on the bars of the cell, her voice pitched low as she issued suggestive threats and growled vaguely erotic insults. To be honest, Jade was hardly processing the actual language, because half of her concentration was on maneuvering her new toy, slipping it inside of herself and trying out the vibration settings, and the rest of her was just taking in the physicality of the Officer Pedesko character, her tone, her authority, the mingled contempt and temptation in her gaze she met Jade’s eyes (it _always_ felt that way in these virtual reality spaces, anyway).

Maybe because she wasn’t as focused on the words, Jade noticed this time when a sound that absolutely shouldn’t be there reached her ears.

“Jade? Are you in here?” _Fuck_. But Jade couldn’t even get her voice to work, somehow convinced in her panic that she could hide before Tori found her. She fumbled for the headset remote at the same moment that she heard Tori say, “ _Oh_ ,” and in her haste to turn off what she was watching (which absurdly seemed vitally important, as if Tori could see the screen through the headset) she managed to launch the audio to the sound bar under the television across the room, and abruptly Officer Pedesko’s voice rang out with, “-- _choke on my nightstick_ \--” before Jade managed to pause the video and fling off her headset.

She stared at Tori, who was across the guest house and staring back at her with wide eyes, clearly fighting a smile. And, of course, Jade had forgotten to close the curtain to the bedroom nook. Tori could see _exactly_ what was going on back here.

“Oh, my,” Tori finally spoke again. She pointed to the general air around them. “Was that…?” She shook her head, “Okay, I know _exactly_ what that was.”

“Oh, my god,” Jade groaned. She was holding her vibrator--when had she even pulled it out of herself?--and it was still buzzing madly in her hand. She shut it off and curled up onto her side, turning away from Tori as much as possible.

“I can go away and leave you alone,” Tori said hesitantly, “But…” Jade could hear her taking uncertain footsteps closer. “You seem…” she trailed off.

“I’m just humiliated,” Jade managed, “I’m fine. I’ll recover.”

“What are you humiliated about?” Tori laughed softly, “You one hundred percent caught me with my body--with Soft Jade when you came home.”

“There’s a _difference_ ,” Jade hissed, still refusing to look at her.

“I don’t know,” Tori mused, and Jade felt the bed dip slightly as Tori sat next to her. “Soft Jade...Officer Pedesko...the similarities are striking.” She was teasing, but she had a point. Jade rolled onto her back to look at her, trying to decide how much Tori was actually making fun of her. Tori smiled, “I think it’s sweet that you masturbate to my erotic videos.”

“You’re such an asshole.” It was reflexive, because, okay, Tori _was_ teasing her, but Jade had done the exact same thing in her shoes, too, so there wasn’t much bite to it.

“Is that any way to talk to someone who was just helping you get off? Speaking of,” Tori’s tone changed, “I can go away if you want to finish on your own. Or I can stay to help, if you’d prefer that.”

Jade considered this, but in spite of wanting privacy earlier, having Tori _right here_ was better than any video. “I want you to stay, but I need you to be Tori.”

“I can be Tori,” she assured Jade. She felt Tori’s hand lightly covering hers, the one that was still gripping the vibrator. “May I?” she asked.

Jade relented, letting Tori take the toy from her hand. She stretched out on the bed next to Tori, who was kicking off her sneakers; idly, Jade wondered what kind of work she was doing, because those shoes told her nothing. But then Tori was fully joining her on the bed, kneeling next to her, free hand caressing Jade’s stomach and breasts gently as she gazed down at her.

“How badly did I throw you off?” Tori asked softly, “Do you need some foreplay?”

Jade considered this, but honestly, despite being interrupted, her body was still eager for penetration. “Not really,” she replied, blushing a little at the intimacy of it, “Just...go slow.”

A smile, somewhere between tender and searing, “Okay,” Tori replied softly, then leaned over to kiss Jade, slowly easing herself onto the mattress between kisses, and Jade heard the hum of the vibrator split the air before too long.

At that, though, Tori started to sit up, to see what she was doing, but Jade grabbed her hand, “Here, let me,” she mumbled, figuring she’d simplify the whole process, and she met Tori’s eyes as she slipped the toy back inside herself, sighing at the sensation, eyes fluttering closed at the way Tori’s mouth parted invitingly as she watched her.

She heard the deep, slow intake of breath from Tori, then felt Tori’s hand join hers again, and Jade let Tori take hold of the base of the toy once more. Then Tori, moving the toy very slowly. Jade sighed and arched with the motion, feeling herself slowly sink back into pleasure once more. She kept her eyes closed as she focused on _feeling_ ; that she could feel Tori next to her, could sense her lifting her head to watch Jade’s face when she wasn’t pressing soft kisses to her shoulder or neck or chest. She could feel Tori’s attention concentrated on her, and felt warm, pleased. Literally all she was doing was lying there and letting Tori do all the work, and it felt _good_ to be taken care of this way.

Jade opened her eyes to look at Tori, wanting to bring Tori into her intimacy a little more, and she lifted her hand to bring Tori in for a kiss. It felt like they melted together, the motion of Tori’s hand stilling for a moment as their lips met, but she resumed her slow strokes as Jade kissed her encouragingly, legs spreading a little wider.

Tori disengaged from the kiss eventually, sighing softly, and Jade let her eyes close again to let her attention settle on sensation once more. “You’re so beautiful,” Tori whispered into her neck, and fluttering warmth filled Jade’s chest.

“Go faster,” she murmured in response, eyes still closed. Not to keep Tori out, because she was acutely aware of her presence, attuned to it. Tori complied, and Jade felt the thrusts of the vibrator accelerate and let her head fall further back, letting out a quiet moan of approval.

Tori shifted down the bed a little more, giving her better leverage with her wrist, and began pressing kisses all over Jade’s chest, onto her shirt, lips nonetheless seeking her nipples through layers of clothes. And as Jade lay with her eyes closed, merely accepting the pleasure being offered, her mind wandered back to the fantasy of Officer Pedesko, the threats of powerlessness, the ideas evoked by the handcuffs, the night stick, the swirl of erotic fear.

“Talk to me,” Jade requested quietly, wanting to bring Tori back to her.

“Sure,” Tori murmured back, “But,” she paused, and then her voice changed, and Jade distinctly heard Officer Pedesko ask, “Are you sure you still need me to be Tori? Or did you want Officer Pedesko to finish you off?”

The reaction was instantaneous; Jade’s back arched as she clenched hard around the toy and whimpered, “ _Fuck_ ,” she murmured.

“Is that a yes?” Tori asked, amusement coloring her own, regular voice.

“Yes,” Jade managed, then, “Harder.”

She heard Officer Pedesko reply, “Oh, don’t worry,” she growled, “I’m going to find out just _how much_ you can take.”

Jade groaned, grabbing for Tori, hand finding and gripping her shoulder hard. Her hips were lifting off the bed, chasing the thrusts of the vibrator, which were coming stronger now, more intense than Jade herself could’ve done on her own. Her legs were trembling already, her abdomen tightening, pleasure coiling. She moaned incoherently, hearing the sound of it as it began to pitch higher, biting her own hand instinctively.

A low chuckle near her ear, then, “You think I’m going to let you come from this?”

It must’ve been an idle threat, because Tori didn’t stop moving the toy, and barely one thrust later, Jade was coming, the words ringing in her ears, hips jolting, groans muffled into her hand, until Jade had to push at Tori’s shoulder, unable to otherwise express that everything was quickly becoming _too much_. She jolted into another orgasm, almost painful in its intensity, as Tori withdrew the toy, and turned toward Tori impulsively, arm wrapping around her as Jade groaned against her chest, waiting for sensation to pass.

Jade recovered in Tori’s arms, face still pressed into her chest, Tori holding her, face pressed against her hair. When Jade’s breathing finally evened out and she began stirring a little, fully coming back to herself, she heard Tori chuckle, “I have to say, that was new.”

“Oh, god,” Jade mumbled. “Was it...too weird?”

“No,” Tori replied simply, “My work with Pedesko is obviously erotic in nature, so it wasn’t much of a stretch. I’ve just...never actually brought her into the bedroom before.”

“You won’t have to do it again,” Jade decided.

Tori shrugged, “I don’t mind. But also, why are you still paying for Virtual Encounters?”

Jade finally pulled back to give her a look, “You’re really going to ask me that after what you walked in on?”

Tori laughed, “That’s not what I meant. I mean, you’re _dating_ me. I didn’t realize it was something you were actually into or I’d have set you up with a free pass awhile ago.”

“You make erotic videos and you didn’t think I’d be into it,” Jade deadpanned.

Her attempt to flip the tables worked, because Tori blushed. “I don’t expect my videos to appeal to everybody,” she defended herself.

“Well, I think I’ve exposed myself enough for one night, so do what you want,” Jade replied. It occurred to her as they lay together that maybe Tori might want some reciprocation, and as shitty as it made her feel, Jade didn’t think she had the energy for it. “Do you...need anything? Because I’m not sure I have the capacity right now.”

Tori shook her head, smoothing Jade’s hair back. “I figured. I didn’t join you on the bed hoping for an orgasm of my own. I was happy just helping you.” She leaned in to kiss her.

Jade was well aware that not every sexual encounter had to involve an equal number of orgasms for all participants, but there was something about this experience in particular that left her feeling warm and adored.

But maybe it was just because Tori made her feel like that a lot.

-

Tori’s week was certainly less busy than usual, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t working at all. As she’d told Jade, she’d still be seeing clients during the month, and though most of her online media work was off of her plate for a while, she was still working on a project with Sinjin, which she hoped to be able to test out soon. Otherwise, Tori was using this week that Jade was busy to brainstorm about what kinds of changes she wanted to make to her online presence.

The Pleasure Professor was kind of her template for work available to the public, and she had no intention of setting that aside anytime soon, but aside from the desire to make content that was educational and helpful accessible to more people, Tori wasn’t really sure where to begin. She preferred the idea of involving other voices over being the only face on-screen more often than not, though interviewing was not a skill she felt she’d honed particularly well. She couldn’t decide if a persona would be helpful; should she move Mary Jane over to SplashFace? Should she create a new one entirely?

These were things she was considering as she sat at the picnic table in her backyard, wearing an old Griffith Observatory hoodie and vaping a good, cerebral, daytime sativa strain.

But as she allowed her mind to wander, her thoughts were interrupted by the sharp buzz of her cell phone. She picked it up, allowing the distraction, even though it was the short buzz of an app notification or an email, and not a text message.

The PearMail app on her phone indicated she had an unread email, so she opened it and navigated to her personal inbox where she discovered:

**From: Carly Shay**

**Subject: Upcoming Los Angeles move**

Tori stared, feeling a flood of excitement rush through her. It was utterly silly, and she knew that, but _Carly Shay had emailed her_. She needed a reality check, and also to vent some of her elation before she read it, so she switched quickly to her texting app to dash off a message to Jade.

**OMG I just got an email from Carly of iCarly!**

She grinned to herself, amused at her wording. She’d been called on it enough times that referring to Carly this way was basically tongue in cheek at this point. She waited to see if Jade was going to reply and tell her to chill, or even tease her about her old crush, but as she looked at the screen, she realized that at the top, instead of saying Jade’s name, it said **3 People**.

“Oh no,” Tori muttered aloud. She scrolled up from the last text, which was a picture Jade had sent earlier that day, to realize that she was absolutely in the text thread with her, Jade, Sam and Cat.

Tori clicked desperately on the text, as if she could possibly delete what was already sent, and as she did so, a reply pushed through.

_Sam Puckett_

**Hey yeah so this is Sam of iCarly**

**And I told Carly of iCarly to email you**

**And I’m totally telling her you said this**

_Tori Vega_

**Omg. Please have mercy on me**

**I am very high**

**That was just supposed to go to Jade**

_Cat Valentine_

**Are you going to start sending us all your private texts?**

**We don’t mind 😸😸**

_Tori Vega_

**Cat!**

But before Tori could even say anything else about Cat’s cheekiness, Jade joined the conversation.

_Jade West_

**Tori. Oh my god**

**At least they don’t know you had a crush on Carly**

**Whoops, wrong chat**

_Tori Vega_

**JADE**

Tori was mortified. She had not signed up to be roasted by all three of them.

_Sam Puckett_

**This is the best day ever**

_Cat Valentine_

**Wait, we weren’t supposed to know that?**

Tori didn’t have any other response or defense.

_Tori Vega_

**OH MY GOD**

**Okay, I’m exiting this conversation**

**Have a great day**

Tori resolved to ignore any other texts that pushed through as she refocused on the email from Carly. At least, she supposed, getting roasted by her friends and her girlfriend meant that she was in a more grounded headspace to deal with the email.

She navigated back to her inbox and opened the message.

**Hi, Tori!**

**It’s Carly. But you probably know that. Anyway, as you know, I’m planning to move to LA early next year (Thanks for the information about your neighborhood, by the way, it was very helpful!). Anyway, I was talking to Sam, and she reminded me that you own a digital media company. Since I also earned my degree and worked in this field in Italy, I thought I’d reach out to you in case you know of any opportunities or connections I can look into. If you need a resume or anything, just let me know, and don’t worry if nothing comes to mind.**

**I hope you’re well and that we’ll be hanging out in Los Angeles soon!**

**\--Carly**

Tori read the email twice, just to make sure her stoned brain processed everything correctly. She smiled at the serendipity of it all and composed an email reply on her phone.

**Hi Carly!**

**It’s Tori.**

Okay, but Carly knew that. Still, Tori liked the symmetry of it, so she kept it.

**Thanks for thinking of me.**

What? This was a semi-professional conversation. Tori needed to act like it. She deleted half the sentence.

**Thanks for your email. I’m excited for your big move! I’m glad you reached out because my digital media work might be on the verge of some exciting changes, and your input and expertise would be a huge help. I’m going to include the contact information for my technical advisor, Sinjin. He and I can both answer any questions you might have.**

**Sorry if this is forward. I know you didn’t come to me looking to work together and I also know there’s some risk in mixing work and friendship.**

Oh, god, even typing the word friendship to Carly of _iCarly_ felt insane, even though they’d known each other for years at this point. Tori didn’t know what was wrong with her. Even after all the celebrities she’d met over the years she’d worked in television, there was something about Carly that still left her starstruck. But watching Carly was the first time that Tori felt like a normal girl like her could actually be a performer. That still mattered to her, clearly.

The old crush was really beside the point. Tori continued her email doggedly.

**But if you’re interested in working together, you’d be more than welcome.**

**Anyway, I’m pretty excited that we’ll be in the same city soon. Hope everything goes smoothly with your move and we’ll definitely see each other when you get here!**

**\--Tori**

That was good, right? Tori read over the email again. It was half professional, half friendly. That matched Carly’s tone. And Tori didn’t really have any hopes of them collaborating in the future--digital media could mean a _lot_ of things and Carly might not even be interested in the kind of work Tori did. But if Tori was considering making something a lot more like a webshow than anything else she’d done before, then Carly Shay might be the girl to ask.

After she sent the email, Tori felt pretty good. There was still a lot she needed to figure out about what she wanted to do, but just talking about it with Carly made everything feel more real.

Tori had a productive afternoon after that, brainstorming and compiling ideas, as everything began to feel much more real. Or maybe it was the sativa more than Carly. Either way, Tori wasn’t going to question it.

-

It was surreal, really, to be standing in her childhood kitchen, sipping coffee and listening to her mother describe a movie she'd seen the night before. Okay, all of that was pretty standard for when Jade had been in her teens, but the bizarre part was that she was actively listening to and, dare she say, interested in what her mom was talking about.

"By the end it was a little boring," Tiffany said, finishing her summary of _The Dark Bistro_ , a Webflix original thriller. "I think you could have really done something more interesting with it."

It was a subtle comment, something a mom would totally say to her filmmaker daughter. But it was also sweet and maybe Jade had finally matured enough to take it to heart. "At this point, if Webflix called me to shoot an episode of _Baby Shark Party_ , I think I'd do it." The 360 short film project was nearly finished and she was already itching to get to work on something else, but she also didn't have anything of her own ready to shoot and even though she'd been hired for that episode of _Warehouse District_ , she hadn't been in the loop on any film pitches in years. Not that she was hurting for work. She was actually fully booked this week, which was why she was at her mom's house waiting for Jeremy to drag his butt upstairs so he could give her a hand for the day.

"Did you find out when your show is on?" Tiffany asked, just like she had about a million times since Jade had returned from New York. "PopPop and Melody wanted to know."

"It's not like I'm in it."

"They still want to be supportive."

Much like she had after Grandma Jean's funeral, Jade was met with a desire to go visit her grandparents. She still hadn't made the drive out to Wrightwood to see them. It wasn't very far, maybe a two hour drive, and she didn't really have any excuse now that she had a brand new truck instead of the beat up old Buick. "I think Tori wants to meet them," she said.

"She hasn't?"

"When we were dating before was when they were traveling in the RV."

Tiffany nodded. "That's right. Well, they're fans of hers, too."

Jade didn't ask whether that meant they were NerdWolf shippers or fans of Lifemark holiday movies because that was when Jeremy appeared. "Finally," she deadpanned, refilling her coffee cup, then pouring one for her brother.

"You said ten," he replied, accepting the mug from Jade.

He was actually right on time, but Jade, ever the older sister, eyed the clock on the microwave that said 9:45. "Barely made it."

"Like I didn't have to hear mom yelling at you to get out of bed all through high school."

"I was never once late to school." It was true. Though, she had to admit that was largely in part due to Tiffany waking her up.

Tiffany huffed, lightly. "I didn't yell."

Both Jeremy and Jade laughed, then exchanged looks. "Honey? Are you up?" Jeremy said, his voice lilting to sound more like their mom. Then, it shifted to an aggressive shout, " _Jeremy_!"

"Or the one where it's," Jade began knocking on the counter. "Come on." More knocking. "Time for school." More knocking. " _Get up_!" Jade said, fiercely.

"You try getting two kids who sleep like the dead up and ready for school," Tiffany replied, rising from her seat at the kitchen table and handing her cup to Jade for a refill. She glanced at the clock. "Shouldn't you two get moving?" she prompted, causing Jeremy to laugh and Jade to roll her eyes.

"Fine," she said, replacing the glass carafe back into the coffee maker. "You have everything you need?" she asked her brother.

He nodded. "Bye, Mom," he said, allowing her to give him a maternal squeeze of the shoulder before he fell in step with Jade.

"Look at you two," Tiffany said.

Jade's eyes widened. "Oh god, Mom. You're not going to cry, are you?"

"No," Tiffany sniffed.

"We're just going to take pictures of people in ugly holiday sweaters," Jade insisted.

"I know," nodded their mother. "And I'm so proud of you!" Then she waved, to shoo them out of the kitchen. "Go. I love you both."

It had taken a lot time for Jade to accept that her mother had not only done the best she could, but was actually a pretty good parent. Not just in comparison to her dad, but in general. For a while, she'd let herself believe that Tiffany had become a cooler person in hanging out with Holly. But when Jade looked back on her teen years, when she'd been so angry and frustrated at everyone and everything, her mom had (usually) given her space, had let her take over the downstairs bedroom without much interference, had wanted to attend her performances, had supported her aspirations of being a filmmaker. One thing Tiffany West had never done was make Jade feel like she was anything other than loved and accepted when she'd started dating Tori. She was almost annoyingly supportive of Jade's bisexuality all through college, even attempting to play matchmaker a few times after Jade and Tori had broken up.

"Bye, love you, Mom," they both called as they headed for the front door.

All of the photo sessions for the day were in Griffith Park, a location she'd discovered she liked to use for family portraits over her time back in LA, because there were options like the carousel or the observatory that helped make things more interesting. She parked her truck in the lot marked for the Merry-Go-Round, then indicated to Jeremy which bags he needed to grab. On the drive over, they'd laughed about their mom and mostly talked about his plans to take a camping trip with a couple of his friends during the winter break.

But now that they were hauling camera gear across a parking lot, Jade asked, "So what are you planning to get out of today?"

"Uh, mostly the hundred bucks you promised to pay me," Jeremy replied.

"Other than that," she prompted. He'd texted her earlier in the week about wanting to make a little extra cash for the holidays, but it seemed like maybe it was more than just the paycheck. "Is it because you miss me?" teased Jade.

"I literally spent all day and night at Thanksgiving with you last week."

"Okay," Jade sighed. "So you don't miss me, consider me heartbroken about it."

They made their way toward a picnic area that would put the carousel in the background of Jade's photos and set the camera and gear bags down on the table. "I think I'm trying to figure some stuff out," Jeremy finally said.

"Like, what kind of stuff?"

"Just...whatever I want to do."

"Well, what'd you go to school for?"

"I just got a Liberal Arts degree from the community college, because I knew it would piss dad off."

"I totally get that." Jade unzipped the bag with her camera in it and began assessing which lenses she'd want to use. "In that bag," she indicated to a small sling bag that Jeremy had just put down. "Is all the filters. I need the 72mm neutral density filter and the cleaning kit."

Jeremy unzipped the bag and was quick to find the kit that held the lens cleaning kit, which he immediately set on the table. But as he sorted through the smaller case that held all the lens filters, he just kind of stared at the contents. "You said the...what?"

"Seventy-two millimeter," Jade said, slowly. "Neutral density filter."

"Ah, okay," he slid one of the slim protective plastic boxes out of the case and handed it to Jade.

"This is a cinematic bloom filter." At least he'd gotten the size right.

"Oh." He passed the entire case to her. "Here." As Jade found what she needed, Jeremy busied himself with unzipping the other bags to remove the tripod and other stands they'd need. "What do those things do?"

"The filters?"

"Yeah."

"They filter."

"Haha."

"They're like...better physical versions of all the things people do to their pictures on Spectrogram." Jade placed the filter with her camera gear and gestured to a round, flat bag. "Get those flags out and set up the gold bounce."

Jeremy looked where she was pointing. "The...flags and the gold bounce," he repeated. Cautiously, he unzipped the bag Jade had pointed to and slid out the reflector set, which immediately sprung open, just like those flexible car window shades (of which Jade had used for the same purpose as a student filmmaker, back before she bought her own official gear). "Now what?"

While Jade appreciated the extra set of hands, she was already starting to tire of needing to explain each step. "You'll need to clamp them to the light stands." She watched as he grabbed for the tripod. "No, the light stand. How do you not know this?"

"Dude, some of us haven't been making movies since we were twelve," he spat back.

"Yeah, but it's a _light_ stand," she found herself repeating, really not understanding the disconnect.

"If you're just going to treat me like an idiot, I don't have to hang around. I can take in mom's recycling or something for the cash."

"I'm not--" Jade took a long breath. "First of all, I'm not trying to make you feel stupid. And second, there's no way Mom has a hundred bucks worth of recycling."

"She has all those wine bottles from her sex book group," Jeremy explained. He sighed, staring over at the carousel. "You've always known, you know? That you want to do this," he waved a hand over all the camera gear.

"What, take holiday portraits in the park? Not really my big dream."

"But you have your own company. And you did that movie."

"Years ago," said Jade, falling into her default mode of feeling the distance between her fifteen minutes of fame and the present. But Jeremy was right about the photography business. Kind of. "Yeah, I have my own company, but it's not really what I pictured I'd be doing when I was in film school."

"But even that...Jade, you've always known what you want. You made that movie and did all that stuff at the festivals and Mom was so excited. She still brags about it, sometimes."

"Guess it's good I peaked early, then."

"I don't get why you act like you can't do more."

"It's not like I haven't tried. It's not easy."

"So? Then keep going. You probably thought it was over with Tori, too."

For her annoying little brother, he had a good fucking point. "I did," she admitted.

"Do you know what it's like to try and match up to that? My big sister with her own business and the hot girlfriend?"

"Maybe keep Tori's hotness out of this," Jade replied, but she laughed about it.

"You just seem to have your shit together. And everyone expects me to do the same, but I don't know what I want to do. That's why Mom told me to come hang out with you."

"Because she thought I'd help you land a hot girlfriend?" Jade was teasing, but she knew what he meant. "Do you even have any interest in photography?"

Jeremy shrugged. "Probably not."

"Then help me get these stands up, then I'm sending you on a coffee run."

"Does this mean I get to drive the truck?" he asked, sounding eager.

Jade dug the keys from her jacket pocket. "Yes, but be careful. Or else I'll--"

"Kill me? Throw me off the Santa Monica pier? Leave me in Shadow Creek Park at night? I've heard all the threats."

"At least you listened to _something_ I said," Jade handed him twenty bucks. "Black, two sugars. One of those lemon cake things. And whatever you want. If you can figure that out."

"You're an asshole," he said with a grin.

"Runs in the family."

-

Jade’s busy week wrapped up after a final, crazy Saturday, so by Sunday afternoon, they were ready to celebrate the free time they’d carved out for the holiday season. And by “celebrate,” it turned out they meant sex. Which Tori was absolutely ready for. They’d both playfully referenced the strap-on sex they’d had before Thanksgiving many times during the week, but aside from the day Tori had offered a masturbatory assist to Jade, there hadn’t been another opportunity for that kind of intimacy during the week.

Tori had been unable to get the image of Jade on top of her out of her mind, and when she suggested another round of strap-on sex, Jade had been very excited. They both had been. Tori had known for a long time that penetration facilitated some of Jade’s best orgasms, but what she’d witnessed when she’d fucked Jade from behind had been intense on another level that she was eager to revisit.

Except that...what had started out fun and sexy and exciting was quickly fading into...well, what felt like routine, maintenance sex. Tori was sitting, with Jade on her lap, and it had started out intimate and _really_ good, feeling Jade so close to her, having access to her breasts. Being able to watch the way her face changed as she sank down onto the toy. Tori’s position didn’t offer her much leverage, but Jade was setting her own steady pace, riding Tori’s lap. Tori felt the grip of Jade’s hands on her shoulders and her back, was able to run her hands down Jade’s body, and they could kiss, too, when Tori’s face wasn’t buried in cleavage. But the heat between them was dying down. Jade didn’t look _bored_ or anything that extreme, but her brow was furrowed and her eyes were closed in a way that felt to Tori like they weren’t in the same room.

“Hey,” Tori whispered softly, fingers drifting up to trace over Jade’s jaw. Jade’s eyes opened, dark and intense but in a way that made Tori’s stomach knot instead of coil with desire. “What do you need?” she asked.

In answer, Jade sighed and lifted off of Tori’s lap, rolling onto the bed next to her and groaning as she stretched her legs. Tori turned toward her, grateful to unfold her own limbs, and reached out a comforting hand to run along the curves of her waist and hips. “It’s not working,” Jade grumbled.

Tori chuckled, “I kind of gathered that, by the way you weren’t groaning my name and coming. Talk to me. Do you want something else? Or not, it’s okay, we don’t have to do anything.”

Jade’s eyes flashed with heat that Tori could feel, though she didn’t quite understand it. “Oh, I want something,” Jade revealed, and then went quiet. Tori stayed quiet herself, continuing her reassuring touches, giving Jade a moment to gather her thoughts. Jade finally continued with, “What worked for me before was...partly the fact that it was so rough. Like what we were just doing...was _nice_ , and I love feeling close to you that way, but right now I need...harder.” She was blushing, faintly, and Tori had to bite her tongue not to tease her, though she couldn’t hide her smirk. “I want to feel like...like it’s not _about_ me.”

Tori let that sink in, remembering the way Jade had asked for her to go _harder_ and _faster_ the last time they’d done this. She knew there were aspects of the position Jade liked, but she hadn’t considered much beyond the physicality of it. But she should have, because obviously, Jade was tapping into something submissive when it came to this. Something that the soft intimacy of being on Tori’s lap didn’t satisfy.

Jade was watching her, expression uncertain, like she wondered if she needed to explain more. But Tori was pretty sure she understood.

“In that case,” Tori began, keeping her tone soft and understanding until she issued the command, “I want you on your hands and knees. Now.”

Jade froze noticeably for a long moment before she scrambled to comply, and Tori took her time resituating herself behind her, settling onto her knees, letting Jade watch her impatiently over her shoulder, though she turned around at Tori’s sharp look. Tori let her hands run down Jade’s sides again, this time with a hint of nails, making Jade’s back arch, and she grabbed Jade’s hips hard. She quelled the instinct to ask if Jade was ready. She didn’t think Jade wanted to be treated as something as inhuman as furniture, but if Jade wanted to feel like this wasn’t about her pleasure, then Tori would pretend she wasn’t concerned about it.

But this was still something they were exploring together, and Tori wasn’t about to be an asshole, so she reached between their bodies to let the toy press _just there_ , at Jade’s entrance, holding it steady and tugging encouragingly at Jade’s hip with her other hand, coaxing her to push back against Tori at her own pace.

Tori exhaled a light laugh as the toy sank fully inside of Jade, who let out a soft, affirmative sound in response. Tori held her hips hard, keeping her there, more to make her wait than anything else. She felt Jade’s hips rock weakly, fighting Tori’s grip, urging her to move, and this time, Tori didn’t hesitate before she brought her hand down to slap Jade’s ass.

She watched Jade’s back arch even more, her head tipping up and back, heard the sound that came out of her mouth, a surprised cry that faded into a moan. Tori grinned, reaching forward to tangle fingers into the hair at the back of Jade’s head, giving a light, steady pull, so as not to jerk Jade’s head back. “You look so good like this,” she purred, running her nails lightly down Jade’s back with her other hand, watching the pink stripes darken pale skin moments later. She leaned forward again, “Don’t ruin it by trying to tell me what to do,” she whispered harshly, letting go of Jade’s hair and straightening her back, her left hand coming down this time to slap Jade’s ass.

Jade whimpered and then a breathy, “ _Fuck_ ,” fell from her lips. When Tori’s hands settled back on Jade’s hips, she could feel her trembling, maybe from what Tori had said, maybe from holding back the desire to rock against Tori in an implicit request for motion, for friction, for stimulation.

Tori wasn’t going to make her wait much longer. She’d made her point, and it had been effective. She pulled out slowly, almost completely, before pushing steadily back in, gradually accelerating her thrusts, until it was reminiscent of the night before Thanksgiving, Tori moving faster, harder, hands all over Jade. The flush of red on her ass, in the vague shape of Tori’s palm, enticed her, and she slapped Jade there a couple more times as she moved, but otherwise she remained focused on her motions, on trying to move the way she knew Jade wanted, needed.

It probably looked a lot like the last time they’d done this, but it _felt_ different. Tori always tended to bring a little dominance to sex, especially with someone like Jade, who _really_ responded to it, but this time, she had permission to play with it a little more, and made the whole scene feel brighter, sharper, more potent. Jade was staying upright this time, not reaching between her own legs, and not asking for anything, either, giving Tori just the music of her moans to guide her.

And _fuck_ , Tori wasn’t going to last long. Even before, with Jade on her lap, she’d been holding back, trying not to get too close, trying to wait for Jade to finish first, and now everything was amplified. Tori needed Jade to come, but Jade wanted to pretend this wasn’t about her when it absolutely _was_ for Tori. She took a breath, and leaned forward, reaching around Jade’s body to touch her clit, “Fucking you feels so good, you’re gonna make me come,” she growled. A loud whimper was her answer. “You want me to come?” Tori asked, actively holding back now, redoubling her focus on Jade, on the clit beneath her fingertips, on the thrusts of her hips.

“Fuck, yeah, I want you to come,” Jade breathed out in a rush.

Tori grinned wickedly, already knowing how to engineer what she wanted. “Then I’m going to need you _not_ to come yet,” she ordered.

Tori waited, eyes squeezing closed, ears perked for the telltale sounds of Jade’s orgasm, readying herself to follow her, but...all that happened what Jade whined pitifully and sucked in a deep breath. Tori could feel her shaking.

 _Fuck_. “Oh god,” Tori rambled, “I--I want you to come, I need you to come, _fuck_ , please come, I--”

Jade’s shaking turned to quaking and then her hips were jolting back against Tori’s as she came, and Tori followed immediately, groaning aloud, only aware of how good it felt to keep thrusting, the way Jade’s cries were rhythmic with her own orgasm, the way color swam behind her eyes, the way she could feel Jade’s body beneath her, heaving and bucking until they collapsed together.

Tori managed to rise after giving herself a brief moment to recover, and carefully slipped out of Jade, hearing the shuddering moan she released at the loss of contact. Tori rolled onto her back to pull down the strap-on harness and drop it at the foot of the bed so she could crawl over to rejoin her lover, pressing kisses to Jade’s shoulder. Jade was still motionless, groaning into the mattress, and Tori said quietly, “Stay right there,” and jumped off the bed, hurrying to the coffee maker and starting a cup before returning to Jade, this time wrapping her arms around her, coaxing her into being spooned.

The bubbling, hissing sound of the k-cup machine split the air, and Jade stirred in her arms. “Are you--is that coffee?” she finally managed words.

Tori laughed, “Yes, that’s coffee.”

Jade turned around in her arms, blue eyes soft and adoring. “You’re making me coffee,” she stated.

Tori shrugged, “I thought you might need it, after...that.” It occurred to her that Jade seemed to be recovering more quickly than the last time they’d done this. “How do you feel?” she asked, bringing her hand up to caress the side of Jade’s face.

Jade nuzzled against her palm. “I feel really good,” she told Tori quietly. “That was exactly what I needed.” She shifted closer to Tori, pressing her face into Tori’s neck, and Tori held her for a few long moments until Jade mumbled against her skin, “Is the coffee ready?”

Chuckling, Tori kissed the top of Jade’s head before slipping her arm free and going to get the mug of coffee. She brought it back to Jade, who was sitting up carefully, eyes bright and eager as she took the cup and brought it up to her mouth, clearly relishing that first sip. Tori sat back down on the bed very carefully, so as not to jostle Jade and spill hot coffee on her delicate skin.

When Jade had finished half her cup, though, she fixed Tori with a firm expression, “So, when are we going to start doing kinky things?” she asked bluntly.

Tori felt her eyebrows rise, “Kinda thought we already were, a little bit, with the power dynamics we’ve been playing with.” Jade blushed at that, and it brought Tori back to the moment she’d told Jade not to come and...she’d obeyed. “Speaking of which...you listened to me that time.”

Jade’s brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“Every other time I’ve told you not to come, it makes you come,” Tori told her, “But not this time.”

Jade’s lip twitched into a smile and her eyes dipped down to her coffee cup, “I wanted to listen to you this time. I...wasn’t really thinking beyond what you were telling me to do.”

Tori smirked, “Still think that this wasn’t kinky?” she asked. Jade’s gaze lifted to hers, brow still scrunched adorably. Tori clarified, “That just sounds like you were in a pretty submissive headspace, is all.”

Eyes darting away thoughtfully, Jade nodded slowly. “I don’t _always_ feel so submissive with you, but I wanted to be for this.”

Tori laughed, “It was not at all what I expected, because you usually push back at everything I say,” she kept the _you_ _brat_ to herself this time, “So then I didn’t know what to say to make you come!”

“Yeah, but somehow _oh my god, please come, I meant come_! was totally effective,” Jade smirked, imitating Tori in a much more exaggerated voice than Tori thought she’d used.

Tori flailed her arms, “You were supposed to already be coming!” Jade doubled over with laughter, holding her coffee cup away from her body as if worried it might spill. “Don’t get coffee on the sheets!” Tori cried.

This just made Jade laugh harder, and she leaned over to set her coffee cup on the bedside table, then grabbed Tori by her shoulders and kissed her, an intense and extended kiss that left Tori feeling a little breathless at the end. “I love you so much,” Jade said when she pulled away and sat back down on the bed.

“I--huh?” Tori asked, not surprised at Jade’s declaration but a little lost as to what had prompted it.

“Just…” Jade gestured at Tori, “You go from aggressive and dominant and fucking sexy as hell to this _unchill nerd_ and I’m here for it. I love every part of it. You’re a fucking incredible woman and I don’t know how I got so--”

Jade was cut off this time because Tori surged forward with a desperate, heartfelt kiss of her own. Her arms wrapped around Tori, pulling her closer, and in their eagerness, they ended up back on the bed, Tori on top of Jade, just kissing, softening to sweetness and gentleness together until Tori settled onto her side next to Jade, grinning from ear to ear.

“Uh, so,” Jade finally spoke, grinning lazily at Tori. “Are you hungry?”

“Ugh, yes,” Tori said, though getting out of bed was the last thing she wanted. “Hold on, I’ll order something. What sounds good?”

“Everything,” Jade admitted, “But, maybe Chinese? Or Mexican?”

Chinese sounded good to Tori, too, and she ordered their usual. With dinner on the way and off of her plate with regard to tonight’s responsibilities, she placed her phone back on the bedside table and turned back to Jade, whose eyes were running over Tori’s nude form before they finally reconnected with Tori’s.

“You still didn’t really answer my question,” Jade said.

“What question?”

“About...kink. Doing more with that.”

Oh, right. Tori smiled. She liked that Jade was the one prompting this, the confirmation that it wasn’t something she was bringing to the relationship on her own, that Jade thought she had to play along with. Jade was into it, too. Not that it was really a surprise. “Well, from what we’ve talked about, I know that you’re interested in being tied up and in being spanked. Was there anything else that interested you?” Tori didn’t mention the fantasy about the teacher. She wanted them to work through some basics before they tried something that required that sort of planning.

Jade looked thoughtful, eyes searching Tori’s face as if gauging whether to say what she was thinking. “What you said earlier about a submissive headspace...is interesting to me,” she said, “Because I don’t really think I know what that feels like, I mean, I don’t really know if that’s what was really happening to me during sex just now? What can I do that might help me understand it?”

Tori lifted a shoulder in a shrug, fingers tracing patterns on the sheet between them to avoid distracting them both by touching Jade. “Depends on the person. Some people need to start an experience in that headspace and can more or less do it on their own, others need to experience something to get there. Like being tied up, or sensory deprivation, or having a collar put on them, or kneeling. It varies a lot, some people get there like flipping on a switch and other people need to take their time. Some people need to be ‘fought’ into submission.”

“Sensory deprivation,” Jade mused, “Like with your sex swing?”

“Sure, although it doesn’t have to be that extreme. Even removing one sense, like with a blindfold, can intensify other sensations.”

Jade nodded, eyes still pensive, “I might be interested in trying that,” she said, “Like, maybe being blindfolded and tied up, so I can explore feeling powerless. See if it helps me understand the headspace.”

“We can definitely try that, too,” Tori assured, reaching for Jade now, fingers stroking over Jade’s hand. “We have a _lot_ of free time for awhile,” she grinned, “So I’m pretty sure we’ll find some ways to pass the time. You want to talk through some of this now?” Jade smirked back at her and nodded, and Tori continued, beginning to lay out some of the negotiation they needed to discuss before actually doing this. “If we explore you being tied up...we talked about starting with just your wrists. Do you have a sense of what your limits and boundaries are with that?”

Jade shook her head, “Not really, I just know I’m curious to try it.”

Tori nodded, “Okay. So we already have a safeword, and if you use it at any time, I will get you out of your bindings immediately. I also like to have a nonverbal safeword that can also be used as a check-in. I squeeze your hand twice, you squeeze back twice if you’re okay,” she demonstrated by squeezing Jade’s hand that she lightly held. Jade squeezed back moments later. “Or if I can’t get to your hands, I might squeeze another part of your body, and you tap a hand or a foot twice in response.” Jade nodded in understanding. “There’s also the universal system of green-yellow-red that you should know about, so if you need things to slow down, or pause, but not _stop_ , I’ll know what you mean if you say _yellow_. Or any of those colors, for that matter.”

“I like _blast-off_ better,” Jade smirked.

Tori laughed, “Me too, but it can be nice to have options. Safewords can be tricky. I can assure you until the sun comes up that I will respect and honor any use of a safeword, but sometimes, when you play with power, it can be easy to forget that you won’t be judged or shamed for needing to use it. So I just want you to know that if yelling _blast-off_ feels way too silly for how intense you’re feeling, you have other options.”

Jade shrugged, “Sure,” she replied, but Tori could tell she wasn’t anticipating ever having to use a safeword. Tori sincerely hoped she’d never have to, either, but she also hoped Jade was taking what she was saying seriously.

“So,” Tori said, “When I bind your wrists, do you want sex to be a part of that?”

Jade gave her a look that suggested this was a stupid question. “I sure hope so, otherwise, what am I even doing?”

“Okay, but the scenario you just pitched where you were tied up and blindfolded to try to explore powerlessness didn’t sound like it involved sex,” Tori pointed out.

Sighing to concede the point, Jade replied, “Okay, no, not then, but the other kinds of bondage we’re talking about? Yeah, that one hundred percent seemed like the point.”

“Okay, so sexual contact for you is acceptable,” Tori nodded.

Jade frowned, “What about you?”

Tori smirked, “I mean, I could always sit on your face while you’re tied up and you wouldn’t be able to do much about it, but...let’s maybe not do anything that makes safewording more difficult our first couple times out. I’ll just concern myself with you.”

“But…” Jade’s frown deepened, “I _like_ it when you come. I guess I’ll trust your judgment though.”

“My orgasm during a bondage scene is something we can figure out later, but I think you’ll forget about it pretty quickly once I have you bound. Do you fantasize about pain or humiliation in this scenario?”

Jade flushed very deeply. “I...figured I’d see how I felt about pain when we got to spanking,” she mumbled, “Which I guess I thought would be separate from being tied up.”

“To start with, I think it should be,” Tori agreed, noticing the way Jade skipped over the humiliation entirely. She decided not to press. “Okay,” she said, “So later this week, we’ll try this together, if that sounds good to you. I mean, other than the fact that we just had sex and are about to eat dinner, it’s still a good idea to negotiate far in advance whenever you can.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jade turned onto her back and stretched her body in such an alluring way that Tori was rendered speechless. Okay, yeah, they’d just had sex, but she certainly still had eyes and a healthy appreciation for Jade’s soft curves and fair skin. Her eyes were fixated on a nipple when Jade spoke again. “Is the food almost here?”

Tori blinked and rolled away to check her phone, “Yeah, actually. Guess we’d better get dressed.”

“You mean _you’d_ better,” Jade smirked, climbing off of the bed. “There’s no way I’m putting back on a bra at this point, so you’re answering the door.”

Tori groaned and hopped down from her side of the bed, but she was used to this. “I respect your boobs too much to even argue with this,” she replied.

“Obsession isn’t the same as respect,” was Jade’s snarky reply.

-

After morning coffee the next day, but before anything else could really happen, Tori checked in with her about how she was feeling about the negotiation they’d done the evening before. Jade appreciated that she was being thorough, but she also thought Tori was being a little too cautious. Still, she assured her that yes, she was looking forward to being tied up sometime in the very near future.

The “very near future” turned out to be the next afternoon, when the pleasant soreness between Jade’s legs from their last sexual encounter had abated. Jade knew that her libido wasn’t always this strong, but she and Tori were still in the process of reconnecting and rediscovering each other, had a lot of free time, and with the additional temptation of playing with rope in the back of her mind, it was easy enough to turn a make-out session on the couch into something kinkier.

Before long, Jade was kneeling on the bed, Tori next to her, a length of rope in her hands. She gave Jade a long, searching look. “Tori,” Jade said impatiently, “We’ve literally already done this before.”

Tori nodded slowly, “Sure, at a kink event in front of dozens of other people. This is very different.”

“If you say so,” Jade murmured, remembering keenly the way it felt when Tori had bound her wrists for the first time, feeling the flutter of nervous excitement as she considered that it was about to happen again.

But moments later, the rope was looping over and between her wrists, then tied to itself between Jade’s wrists, leaving a short length of rope that led to Tori’s hand. Jade stared at it, pulling her wrists apart to test it. “How does it feel?” Tori asked softly.

“It’s fine,” Jade assured her, testing it again to ensure nothing was pulling or pinching. She glanced up to see Tori’s gaze was fixed on the bound wrists in front of her, dark eyes hungry, until she seemed to sense Jade watching her and looked up. “So, is that it?” Jade asked.

In answer, Tori rose up from her kneel, Jade’s rope still in her hand, and leaned forward, taking Jade with her. Jade abruptly found herself on her back, hands over her head, Tori hovering over her and looking down at her in a way Jade could only describe as heated.

“Oh,” Jade stuttered, staring up at her. She attempted to move her hands, automatically, instinctively, but of course, she couldn’t, and found herself taking a deep breath at the realization. But then, was Tori just going to hold that length of rope the whole time? “Are you even going to tie me to anything?”

Tori smirked. “Oh, I don’t think I’ll need to this time. Because you’re going to hold onto the headboard.”

“Am I?” Jade smirked back. Sure, she was the one tied up here, but that didn’t mean she had to act like it.

“You will if you want to come,” Tori said succinctly.

Well, that was persuasive. Tori helped her resituate herself, so that she was lying back on the pillows, gripping the headboard above her, and Jade watched cooperatively as Tori slowly stripped her from the waist down and pushed her shirt and bra up over her breasts, staying fully clothed all the while. She moaned and arched up into Tori as her hands and mouth pressed all over Jade’s torso, head swimming, finding bliss in the freedom to just _do nothing_ but accept the pleasure she was being offered.

She felt fabric against her skin, the reminder that Tori was still fully clothed, that Jade was vulnerable at the moment in a way Tori decidedly wasn’t, and pushed up against her more firmly, encouraging her touches. But she also wanted to feel Tori’s skin against hers, and without thinking, lowered her hands, remembering as she tried to pull them apart that she was bound, and the reminder of her symbolic helplessness made her clench around nothing.

Tori glanced up at her dangerously, and then lifted her body to move Jade’s hands by the rope between them back into position over her head. Jade whimpered at the ease with which she accomplished this but managed to speak, “Want to feel your skin.”

Tori smirked at her, eyes dancing with delight. “But you _are_ feeling my skin,” she replied, nuzzling just above Jade’s hipbone. Jade’s breath caught. It was hard to argue with _that_. But then Tori’s gaze turned steely, and she warned, “Move your hands again and I’ll make sure you can’t.”

The threat made Jade’s hips lift wantonly, and moments later, Tori’s face was between her legs, lips and tongue swirling over her flesh slowly, humming appreciatively as she focused with her mouth. Jade let herself experience it, reflecting that it wasn’t _that_ different from other times she’d received oral before. It wasn’t until Jade tried to do something but couldn’t that she tended to remember she was tied up.

But then, she felt Tori’s tongue pushing inside of her, slow, deliberate strokes that made Jade groan, and she reached for Tori’s hair with both hands, not even caring about the demand to stay still, wanting so badly to grab her head, keep it where it was.

The moment she touched Tori’s hair, though, Tori stopped, grabbing the rope, and Jade felt the thrill of Tori effortlessly lifting her hands away, felt herself grow wetter as she struggled to reconnect them, but couldn’t.

“Okay,” Tori breathed, running the back of her other hand over her chin, “On all fours, then. Now.” And _there_ , _that_ , that was what made Jade feel like she wanted to go wherever Tori led her, the effortless way that Tori took the lead in their encounters, and she flashed back briefly to the hotel, at their reunion, to the way almost everything they’d done had been because Tori wanted it, and Jade had been fulfilled by all of it.

Tori was careful, but forceful, as she helped Jade sit up, and then brought her down onto her elbows and knees with a quick tug of her bindings. Tori was beside her now, one hand still holding the rope between her wrists, the other running over Jade’s back, grabbing her ass, and then, there was a brief swat. Jade groaned, pushing back against Tori’s hand.

“I’m not even sure you deserve to come, with the way you’ve proven time and time again that you just can’t obey me,” Tori purred, the sweetness in her tone contrasting with the threat in a way that made Jade feel heat pool through her body.

But despite her words, Jade felt fingers slipping inside her from behind, Tori’s lips on her back, her hand lifting from holding Jade in place to run over her breasts, and within a minute, she had Jade coming around her fingers, chest and face sunk down into the mattress, hands trembling with the inability to move them.

She was still blinking the spots from her vision as Tori gently turned her onto her side and began untying her with easy, practiced movements while Jade trembled harder. The moment her hands were free, she was grabbing Tori, bringing her down on top of her, holding her tightly. Tori, still fully clothed, held her back, hands stroking her skin.

But though she could tell Tori thought she needed a lot of extra aftercare, Jade felt mostly fine. And she expressed that by turning them over, Tori onto her back, and hovering over her.

“Oh,” Tori uttered, gazing up at her with a lazy grin.

Jade sat back and finally took off the shirt and bra that had been bunched up on her chest for what felt like forever, “Why didn’t you just take off my shirt first?” she griped.

Tori shrugged, “In case you didn’t react well to being tied up,” was the simple answer.

Jade stopped herself from rolling her eyes. She’d show Tori just how fine she was with all of this, she thought, as she reached between their bodies to start unbuttoning Tori’s jeans, pulling them off with her underwear as quickly as she could.

“What are you--”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jade asked, settling between Tori’s legs, arms wrapping around her thighs as she lowered her mouth to her.

It didn’t take long for Tori to come, not with how wet she already was, not with the way Jade focused her attention on the technique that Tori preferred, not with the way she felt hands in her hair and encouraging moans in her ears. She had Tori bucking up against her mouth in minutes.

When it was over, they held each other on the bed, Tori recovering in her arms this time. Finally, Tori spoke, “How did you feel about being tied up?”

Jade shrugged, “Good, I guess. I liked when you pulled me around. But I think next time I should be tied _to_ something, because otherwise it’s like I almost forget I’m tied up.”

Tori nodded, “I wanted to start with something that wouldn’t make you feel so restricted.”

“I also want you to come,” Jade stated plainly. “Like, what I told you in New York. Grinding on my stomach, maybe.”

Tori grinned, “I can do that. I mean,” she seemed to gather her thoughts, “I also wasn’t expecting oral sex to be part of aftercare for you, but…”

“Sometimes it’s nice to just be taken care of,” Jade elaborated, “But I think if I’m in a position where I’m helpless like that...feeling like I’m being…” there was really no other way to say it that didn’t sound a little degrading, “Used, like you’re just taking pleasure from me...I think I like that.”

Tori digested that as they held each other. “I can definitely do that to you next time.” The tone of her voice held promise, and Jade felt it settle like warmth in her belly.

Over dinner later that evening, Tori asked, “Do you want to talk about spanking?”

Luckily, Tori chose a moment where Jade wouldn’t choke on anything. Not that she thought she really would. She’d lived with Tori (practically if not literally) for long enough that whatever Tori might bring up over dinner couldn’t surprise her much anymore. Still, there was something about this that made her stomach flip. “Sure,” Jade replied.

Tori nodded and took a pensive sip of water, then said, “I think that first we might want to explore what your limits might be, since I don’t think you’ve been spanked before.”

“Other than that little moment while I was tied up earlier? No,” Jade raised her eyebrows.

Tori blushed, “I wondered if that was a mistake.”

“I definitely didn’t say that. I thought I was pretty clear that a little ass-slapping during sex was welcome.”

Tori was quiet for a moment, then said, “So, what is it that you hope to get out of a spanking?”

Jade blinked. “I don’t know,” she mused, trying to think. She just knew she liked the idea of it, that she had enjoyed it in the context of the fantasy of Teacher Tori, that maybe she’d behave in such a way that would earn her a bit of punishment. “I guess I figured it was like...a punishment thing?”

“Sure,” Tori nodded, “But do you mean punishment or funishment?”

“ _Funishment_?” Jade laughed, “Okay, explain.”

“I guess...on the surface, punishment and funishment probably look pretty similar. The difference is in the intention. Some people make agreements that they want dominants to actually attempt to change the behavior of their submissives. So something like a spanking or a flogging might _actually_ hurt, and not in a fun way, but it is agreed to and understood, and not like, someone lashing out in anger.” Tori paused to take a bite of her stir fry while that sunk in. “Funishment might also relate to some sort of wrongdoing, but it’s much more playful. It’s part of a game, likely no one’s actually upset. It’s more about giving the submissive what they need or desire than trying to correct any sort of behavior. Because how effective is a punishment if you enjoy it?”

“I’m gonna guess that funishment is going to be more my speed,” Jade’s brows furrowed, “Because I don’t think I actually want you policing my behavior?”

“I figured,” Tori seemed relieved, “That heavy punishment thing tends to be more for couples that stay in their roles twenty-four-seven. I keep things in the funishment realm professionally.”

“Well, you _are_ the Fun Dominatrix.”

“I am,” Tori grinned. “And the fun in funishment doesn’t mean it’s not cathartic for some people, or that some submissives might be asking me to actually punish them for things they think they’ve done wrong, but my priority is not changing anyone’s behavior, or hurting them in ways they don’t enjoy. If they use it for self-improvement, good for them.”

Jade considered this distinction, though it was still a bit murky. “I think I _like_ the idea of earning punishment, though? Or, funishment, I guess.”

“We can call it punishment now that we’ve agreed on the terms of things. I’ll know what you mean.”

“Right,” Jade replied, “It’s just that...like even when we were talking about my fantasy of you as a teacher,” Oh god would she ever not blush when this came to mind, “There’s a part of me that wants to...provoke a response that earns a spanking.”

Tori’s eyebrows rose, “And that’s different from you every day how? You’re always pushing back. And if what you’re looking for is a certain kind of attention from me when you do...we can work something out.”

Well, that was true. But this was all still a fantasy and Jade considered that it was possible that the experience of being spanked or paddled might feel different from having her ass swatted during sex. “I should probably know what it feels like first.”

“Agreed, absolutely,” Tori replied, seeming to refocus. “Okay, so. I think it’s a good idea to start out finding out together what level of intensity you like. Then we can decide together how many strikes you want to receive.” She paused, thoughtful, “Would you want this to be sexual? Like, foreplay? Or something on its own?”

“Probably eventually, but to start out, I just want to explore how it feels on its own.”

Tori nodded. “So we’ll just explore sensation to start out, then.” She hesitated, then, “Knowing that you bruise kind of easily...I should warn you that it’s _possible_. A hand or a paddle isn’t all that likely to leave marks, at least not anything beyond pink or red skin that fades pretty quickly, but depending on what you like and how intense we take this in the future…”

“Tori, I’m aware of how bruises work. It’s fine. We already do things sexually that make sitting awkward sometimes because I’m so pleasantly sore.”

Tori’s expression shifted into something searingly hot for a moment. “Oh,” she replied softly.

“Like you didn’t know,” Jade smirked, rolling her eyes.

“It’s not news,” Tori agreed, straightening in her chair, “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me to hear something like that.”

Jade never forgot that Tori was a top, but moments like this that hinted at her sadism sparked some strange desire, a warmth in her limbs, that made Jade want to give Tori that sense of satisfaction again.

With how slowly they were taking things, Jade was beginning to realize that they had so much more to explore and discover together, and she felt the possibilities like an open horizon around her, endless and overwhelming, but beautiful.

-

“Should I go get my spanking bench?”

The snarky question came from Jade, after they agreed that this evening might be a good opportunity to explore spanking. Neither of them were particularly horny, since they’d just had sex with Jade’s wrists bound the afternoon before (though Tori knew how quickly that could change with Jade), so there would be less temptation to add sex to something they’d already agreed would not involve it.

It took Tori a moment to even remember what Jade was talking about, which made Jade quirk an eyebrow. “You know. My boot bench?”

“Oh, right,” Tori shook her head, “No, I don’t think we’ll need it.”

Jade shot her a skeptical look. “Okay, I know it’s your ‘old’ spanking bench, but I think I’d have noticed another one in the house.”

“You probably have,” Tori replied, leading the way toward the bedroom. “Or at least, what I’m thinking about trying for this. Call it repurposed furniture.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure just saying ‘I’m going to spank you on this,’ would’ve been easier,” Jade jabbed.

Turning to face her as they entered the bedroom, Tori shot her a challenging expression. “Alright, then,” she spoke evenly, “I’m going to spank you on this,” she gestured with a flourish to the shoe rack at the foot of the bed.

Jade stared at it for a long moment before turning back to Tori. “On the _boot bench_? Wait a minute.” She started laughing. “You teased me for turning your old spanking bench into a boot bench, but now you’re turning our _current_ boot bench into a spanking bench?”

Tori raised an eyebrow, “You done laughing?” But honestly, she was trying not to laugh herself. It _was_ a little ridiculous. Tori typically believed that toys and implements used for sex and kink should be specifically designed as such, with a few exceptions. This was an exception she was willing to make. The boot bench had a padded top, so kneeling on it should be comfortable, she thought it would bring Jade up to a useful height, and she didn’t really need something to tie Jade to or that would force Jade to keep her legs spread. At least, not yet.

But Jade kept laughing, holding a hand out placatingly, and Tori gave in, laughing with her. She didn’t need to bring the full domme energy quite yet. She ended up grabbing Jade’s hand and tugging her closer, and they held each other as they laughed, until it faded into kissing.

The kisses lingered, an expression of comfort and reassurance more than eroticism. They reminded Tori that maybe she didn’t need to bring a lot of dominant energy to this at all right now. Jade responded to that kind of dynamic, sure, but this was more about exploration and discovery, and maybe a more tender approach was necessary. Not that being dominant was antithetical to tenderness, but Tori figured that avoiding deliberately stepping into a role was the right idea here.

Though, the kind of dominant role she would be playing in the bedroom with Jade was something she was still trying to figure out. They both were exploring their dynamic. She certainly wasn’t Mistress Tawny with Jade, though shades of that persona were present. In essence, this was the first time Tori was exploring this with a long-term partner, and it was exciting, but also a bit challenging, since Mistress Tawny had been compartmentalized for so long. What Tori as a top was like purely in the bedroom was likely a little different yet from Tori as a dominant who would administer spankings and tie up her partner, but the distinctions and nuances were still being established as Jade was given room to figure out her own relationship to submission.

All that swirled through her head as they kissed until Tori pulled away, and her voice was gentler this time as she invited Jade to, “Kneel down on the bench.”

“Shouldn’t I take off my pants or something?”

Tori hadn’t considered this. She figured staying fully clothed would help them stay focused on the task at hand. “If you want to, sure.”

Jade scrutinized her, “I mean, how is this normally done?”

“I usually spank my clients nude,” Tori revealed, but felt herself blushing right away, “I mean, _they’re_ nude, _I’m_ not nude, um, anyway. But it depends. A good, long impact play session is probably most satisfying without any barriers. But if we’re playing and you’ve been bratty or something and just need a quick spanking, you might keep at least underwear on or something, depending.”

Jade gave her a long, searching look, but then began stepping out of her pants. Tori’s eyes lingered as she realized she’d taken her underwear off, too. “If I’m going to do this,” Jade replied, “I’m going to _do_ this.”

“Okay,” Tori managed, offering a hand to help Jade get situated on the boot bench. But Jade bypassed the hand altogether and climbed up, kneeling and bending at the waist, leaning on the mattress over the low footboard of the bed. Tori took a slow breath at all the flesh on display. Okay, this wasn’t going to upgrade to sex, and she knew that, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be thrilled by it. She approached, running her hands over Jade’s flesh slowly, reverently, even slipping her hands up into Jade’s shirt to run over her back. This was likely going to be erotic, and Jade needed some warm up before they started, caresses and touches that made her feel desired and loved. She arched subtly, pushing back against Tori’s hands as they kneaded the soft flesh of her ass, and Tori lowered herself to press a reassuring kiss on Jade’s shoulder.

Jade looked over her shoulder at her, “What now?” she breathed.

“I’ll start with my hand,” Tori told her, “And we’ll figure out together what level of intensity you like. You rate the pain level from 0-10, zero being none, ten being too painful to enjoy.”

“Okay,” Jade turned back around, and from the set of her shoulders, Tori could tell she was bracing herself.

“Remember to breathe,” she instructed. “Breathe with me. Breathe in,” she inhaled, “And out,” she let her breath out audibly, watching the way Jade’s body relaxed with the exhale. “Breathe in,” she instructed, then, as she instructed Jade to “breathe out,” she brought her hand down in a slap, firm, but not hard.

The rest of Jade’s breath whooshed out of her with the impact, and Tori instinctively ran her hand over the spot she’d struck, a soothing motion.

“Well?” Tori asked quietly.

“I don’t know, a one?” Jade replied, sounding contrary.

Tori supposed that was possible, but Jade’s tone made her doubt that she was taking this seriously. “Jade,” she drawled warningly.

“Well, I don’t know, this is all new. Do it again.” She sounded stubborn.

Tori took a breath. Jade was probably just being her regular, prickly self that tended to come out when she felt vulnerable. So Tori watched her shoulders, waiting for her to exhale, and struck the other cheek, a little harder this time.

Another whoosh of breath, this time with a hint of vocalization to it, and Jade’s head bowed forward a little, then she straightened back up. “Four?” she sounded uncertain.

“Does that mean you want me to go harder?”

“Yeah,” Jade breathed, spreading her knees slightly wider, hips shifting in anticipation.

Tori stared at rose-pale flesh, darkening with the blush of impact like a cloud at sunset, and felt invigorated. She took a moment to steady herself, then administered another strike.

Together, they established what kind of bare hand spanking Jade liked, and it was good that it didn’t take much longer, because Tori’s hand was tingling and stinging with the impact. She wasn’t used to this kind of impact play; she only ever used impact play toys on her clients, and she was surprised by how little her hand could actually take. Also, the swing of her hand making contact was different from the same motion when she was holding an object, so it was a bit of a learning experience for them both.

They switched to the paddle, and discovered together how it felt to Jade to get paddled, and how much force Tori needed to put into her swing, which she was well-practiced at moderating. Once they’d warmed up and established what seemed to be working, Tori spoke again, “So, if you want, we can be done, or we can continue. If you want to continue, then you can choose a number, and I’ll give you that many spankings.”

Jade hips shifted as she grounded herself in place once again. “What’s a normal number of spankings?”

“It really depends. For some people it could be, like, a hundred.”

“That seems extreme.” Jade sounded judgmental, but maybe also a little impressed.

Tori shrugged, “It’s all individual. It’s about what _you_ want. Keeping in mind, of course, that you’ve already taken quite a bit tonight. And that you can always ask for more.”

Jade was quiet for a moment, head lowered, but she lifted her head after a moment and said, “I want ten.”

“Okay,” Tori said softly, “I’m going to give you ten. And I want you to count them for me.”

“What, you can’t keep track?” Jade snarked, though Tori could hear the slight quaver in her voice.

“Of course I can, but you’re still going to do it for me if you want me to continue,” Tori replied, putting a bit of steel into her tone.

“Yes, Mistress,” was the sarcastic reply.

Tori took a deep breath, though whether she was trying not to laugh or be irritated, she wasn’t sure. “ _Jade_ ,” she said quietly, “You’re already about to be spanked to your liking. You don’t have to _earn_ it right now.”

“Maybe I want to earn it,” she replied stubbornly.

 _Oh_. Well, in that case. Tori ran the leather of the paddle over Jade’s skin, flushed a deep red from the previous strikes she’d already received. “Then, get ready, because you’re in trouble,” Tori growled. She could hear the sharp intake of anticipatory breath from her partner, could see the way her spine straightened, but it was accompanied by her lower back arching slightly, eagerly presenting her ass. Tori smiled and delivered the first strike.

Jade exhaled a guttural groan with the first strike of the paddle, rocking forward slightly with the impact, then resettling into position. Tori waited quietly, until Jade finally said, “One.”

And it continued, Tori landing strikes, Jade counting them off with less and less reluctance as she grew more impatient for the next blow, letting out a deep moan before panting the number of their count. When Tori reached ten, Jade sagged, letting her head rest on the mattress, and Tori placed her hand gently on Jade’s lower back. “Do you want more?” she asked.

She could see Jade shake her head and finally she murmured, “No,” into the mattress.

“Come on, then,” Tori said, helping her onto the bed. “Do you want coffee?” she asked as Jade reached for her, bringing her down onto the bed with her.

“Just hold me,” Jade said succinctly, nuzzling her face into Tori’s neck as they lay together, limbs wrapped around each other. Jade was very quiet, but she was breathing evenly, and once she had grabbed Tori into a tight squeeze, her limbs loosened, and she seemed to slowly relax in Tori’s arms. Tori felt the soft press of lips against her throat.

She held Jade for what felt like a long time, not worrying, but wondering, about how Jade was feeling, whether she had any regrets. She didn’t think so, but also, Jade was rarely this quiet. Tori wasn’t quite sure how to read her. She was still learning what aftercare might look like for Jade.

But finally, Jade spoke against the skin of her neck, “Tori?”

“Yeah?”

“I want that coffee now.”

Tori’s face split into a grin.

-

“So, I let Tori spank me last night.”

Sam turned to her and raised her eyebrows, passing the joint back. “Yeah? Damn.”

They were seated at their picnic table on the beach, leather jackets on for the moments the cool sea breeze picked up. Tori had been out running errands all day, and Jade felt the need to get out of the house herself, so she thought she’d visit Sam and Cat. Evidently, the discussion over dinner a couple months back about how Cat used to keep candy in her bra had inspired her, and she was creating a whole line of undergarments whose main purpose was to dispense candy. To market her creations, she wanted to put on and film a “Bra Candy Fashion Show” to give her plenty of footage to work with for promotional material, and Tori had immediately been happy to offer up her Fungeon to use as a catwalk/filming location early in January. So Cat was hard at work at her sewing machine and she was adamant that Jade not even get a glimpse of anything yet, so she and Sam had left to have their own fun, figuring they’d smoke a little weed by the beach and then grab some lunch.

It was nice to see someone other than Tori, even though Jade was looking forward to getting back to her that evening. They’d had a good week so far, exploring kink and having sex and watching TV shows and movies and just generally enjoying each others’ company, but the reality of living with someone else had begun sinking in for Jade. Or maybe she just wasn’t that great at relaxation. Whatever, she was out of the house and better for it.

“Yeah,” Jade affirmed, taking a light hit. Sam hadn’t brought any really heavy weed; she usually smoked strains that made Jade feel calm and euphoric, but they were still moderating their intake since they’d both have to drive later on. “It was the first time we’d done it.”

“What was it like?” Sam wanted to know, accepting the joint.

Jade shrugged thoughtfully. “It was...really good, I think.”

“You think?” Sam questioned.

“No, it was, but it was also us figuring out how spanking in general would work, so it was half a lot of communication. Which is fine and important. But it wasn’t really until the end that I was able to sort of...let go and enjoy it.” Jade inhaled her own hit.

“So, it feels good to you, then?”

“Yeah,” Jade drawled, like it should be obvious.

Sam laughed, “Okay, stupid question. A lot of chicks like it when you slap their asses during sex. I’m guessing this is a little different, though.”

“Yeah, it is, because we’d done a little of that before, but…” Jade trailed off. She was still trying to figure out how she felt about the spanking. She’d enjoyed it, for sure. The physical sensations had been exhilarating, and she’d expected that much, but the mental and emotional experience had surprised her a little. She tried to figure out how to express the way it made her feel. “I guess it’s like...yeah, it feels good, but it also is cathartic? Like, it externalizes a lot of what’s going on for me internally and gives it a form of release, I guess.”

As she said it, she realized it was the best way to make sense of how it had made her feel. Not only had she wanted to feel like she _deserved_ a spanking when Tori gave it to her, but the thoughts that had run through her mind had surprised her. The angst about her career and how she thought she’d be further along. The years she’d spent being nomadic and largely lonely. The way she’d used anger and sometimes even outright cruelty to keep people at arm’s length in her youth. The lingering sadness that her father hadn’t fought to keep her in his life, and the lingering guilt that she hadn’t wanted him in it, either.

But each negative thought that came to mind seemed to clear with each strike of Tori’s paddle, like the sting of pain (that really didn’t feel bad at all) transformed her emotional turmoil into something she could experience, make sense of, and let go of. When it was over, she felt lighter and freer in a way that was a little scary, and she had to reground herself in Tori’s arms. “I don’t know if that even makes sense.”

“Nah, I think it does,” Sam replied thoughtfully through a puff of smoke. “When I feel like that, I go hit a tree with a baseball bat.” She held the joint out to Jade, who shook her head, and knocked the cherry out and ground it out under her heeled boot. “No offense, but I think I’m glad Cat’s not into that. Like, if she wanted it, I’d do it? But I don’t know that I would like it. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“I mean, it doesn’t really _hurt_ ,” Jade started.

“No, I know, but hitting Cat? I don’t think I could do it even if she liked it. Wouldn’t feel right to me.”

“I get what you mean,” Jade replied, then smirked. “But like, what if Cat wanted to do it to you?”

“I’d let her, I guess,” Sam shrugged.

“Can you imagine Cat as a dominatrix?” Jade laughed.

“Uh, I have imagined that. Maybe a lot.”

“Okay, that’s more than I needed to know,” Jade shook her head.

“I mean, she’s tougher than she looks, too. She’d probably be really good at it,” Sam said earnestly.

“Oh, I know. I’ve known her forever,” Jade reminded Sam unnecessarily. A memory came to her. “She used to do this thing whenever I’d stay over at her house and she’d like, sneak up on me and scare me awake.”

“Dude,” Sam replied with wide eyes and a nod.

“And if you scare me, my reaction is gonna be to attack.”

“Yep,” Sam agreed.

“Which I would,” Jade continued, “I’d grab her and wrestle her down. She’s a scrappy little thing.”

“Yeah, she totally did that to me the first night I slept in our apartment. I did the same thing you did. And then she did it the next morning, too. She definitely likes being pinned down.”

Jade frowned, “That’s...more than I needed to know.”

“I mean, it’s not sexual. At least it wasn’t at first. Later, though, we figured out that Cat likes to be chased and Mama likes to do the chasing.”

“Okay, I definitely don’t need to hear all the details of the sex life of my two best friends. Should we get burgers?” But Jade couldn’t quite convince her body to get up off of the bench.

“Like you don’t know it all anyway,” Sam scoffed.

“What, would you want to hear all the details of Tori and my sex life?”

“Is that an offer?” Sam grinned.

“Oh, my god.”

But Sam seemed to think this was actually an acceptable topic of discussion. “What was Tori wearing when she spanked you?” she leered, “Like, leather? Latex?”

“No,” Jade drawled, “Jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.”

“Boring. Were you naked?”

“I’m absolutely not answering that. Want to go get burgers? I have got to get off of this bench.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam stepped off the bench easily and offered Jade a hand.

Later that night, after dinner, she and Tori snuggled together on the couch, watching some TV on Webflix, but after they finished an episode, Tori apparently wanted to check in about the spanking, since they’d both had some time to reflect on it, and see what Jade thought about it. Jade told her honestly that she’d enjoyed it a lot and it was something she definitely wanted to explore further, but then she shifted the conversation elsewhere.

“So, what’s next?” she asked Tori.

Tori’s brow crinkled. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean, where do we go from here? You’ve tied me up, and that was fun, you’ve spanked me, and that was really good, so what’s next?”

“That probably should come from you rather than me,” Tori replied, “What else do you want to explore? Or how would you want to expand on what we’ve already tried?”

Jade thought about it, but she didn’t have a lot of other specific ideas yet. “Maybe blindfolding?” she suggested.

Tori nodded, “You did mention that.”

“Yeah,” Jade replied pensively. She really was curious what it was about being tied up with Tori that had made her feel so submissive, despite the fact that some aspects of the scenario weren’t as exciting as she’d anticipated. She figured it had something to do with feeling sort of helpless, or at least powerless, and she wondered if the experience would be enhanced by being deprived of one of her senses. “Like, I’m thinking, a blindfold, and maybe being tied up again?”

“Like some mild sensory deprivation?” Tori suggested, “Or something more active?”

“I think the former,” Jade replied, “I want to see what it feels like.”

“Or not see,” Tori smirked, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“You’re terrible.”

“I know. So, okay, if we’re doing something like sensory-deprivation, I could tie you up and blindfold you and then what I normally do is just observe quietly. I check in with you nonverbally, but I stay quiet. We can agree on a timeframe, and you’d stay where you were unless you safeworded out.”

Jade nodded this time, imagining the scenario. “Yeah, I think that would work. Would you tie me _to_ something this time? That felt like it was missing last time.”

“Sure, if you think it would help.”

“How long does something like this normally go? Like thirty minutes?”

Tori quirked an eyebrow, “To start out, let’s give you ten.”

“What if that’s not long enough?”

“Then we can do it for longer next time.”

Jade sighed, but said, “Okay.”

“So,” Tori said briskly, “You’d be tied up, probably to the headboard, wearing a blindfold. I’d be there, giving nonverbal check-ins if I think it’s necessary, but otherwise staying quiet. You’d stay in that state for ten minutes, and we can assess how it went when it’s over. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

And because they were excited, and both eager to keep up the momentum of their exploration, the next evening, Jade was seated on the bed, hands out in front of her so that Tori could begin binding her wrists.

“Shouldn’t I be naked for this?” Jade asked.

Tori eyed her, clearly titillated by the idea, but said, “Let’s keep you clothed for the first time out.”

Jade’s instinct was to push back sarcastically, but she also knew Tori had been doing this for a long time, so she let the impulse pass and considered how she actually felt. “Okay, I trust you,” was what she said instead.

Tori responded with a slow smile, and she lifted one of Jade’s hands up to kiss each knuckle. “That really means so much to me.” She let her hand linger holding Jade’s, until she seemed to shift, slightly, into a more focused expression. “Are you ready to be bound?”

Jade nodded, “Yeah,” she replied, and watched keenly as Tori’s practiced, slim-fingered hands looped and knotted the soft rope around Jade’s wrists.

“Do you want the blindfold now, or after you lie down?” Tori asked quietly.

Jade didn’t think she had a preference, though it seemed like it might be easier to just put it on now rather than to wrestle it on when she was lying down. “Now, I guess.”

Tori nodded and held out the blindfold, which looked mostly like a silky sleep mask. Jade bent her head forward, letting Tori place it on her and tighten it into position so it would stay. Then gentle fingers traced over Jade’s chin and lifted her head up slightly, and Jade felt a brief, soft kiss against her lips. “I’m going to lay you down and tie you to the headboard, and once you’re in position, I’ll be silent, okay?”

“Okay,” Jade nodded, ready to just experience it, already.

Tori carefully helped her lie down, and then Jade felt the thrill of her hands being lifted over her head, and the sound of the rope as she was evidently tied into place. Then, Tori’s hand on hers, squeezing twice, a nonverbal check-in. Jade squeezed back twice confidently, and felt Tori’s presence ease away.

And then Jade was left in darkness.

At first, it was fine. She tugged on her bindings, a little, enjoying the thrill of not being able to move, feeling her heart rate pick up a little at the implication. The darkness certainly wasn’t interesting, but it did make her notice how her body felt a little more--she noticed the slightly rough texture of the rope, which she’d thought of only as soft before now, but she could sense the slight friction of it against her skin. She could feel the way the skin of her arms was cooler than the rest of her body, because she was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. She could feel the way her chest rose and fell with her breathing, the way her heart felt in her chest, the way her eyelashes brushed against the silk of the blindfold if she opened her eyes uselessly, still seeing only darkness.

She thought she should be able to hear better, too, but there was nothing to hear. The room was silent. If she strained her ears, she thought she could hear the distant sounds of people in the neighborhood, maybe kids playing, or maybe it was music from somewhere, it was too indistinct to tell. And then, with a dull whir, the heat kicked on, and all Jade could hear was the distant bellow of the heating system through the air duct, and nothing else.

It was _weird_. Was Tori even still there? Jade felt oddly exposed, both like she was completely alone but also like maybe someone else was watching her who shouldn’t be. She could feel the way her heartbeat got stronger again, but this time, it wasn’t because she was excited, and her awareness of it seemed to make it worse, seemed to make anxiety flood her limbs.

“Tori?” she said quietly, “Are you still there?”

No answer. Jade listened intently for some sign that she was in the room with her, but there was nothing, just the drone of the heating system. Her belly knotted. How much time had passed? Surely it had been ten minutes by now. It felt like it had been at least fifteen. Where was Tori? Had she left Jade alone, abandoned her like she had before? Like so many people did when it was clear Jade was difficult to handle? _What was wrong with her_? Was she so forgettable, that no one wanted her, not as a filmmaker, not as a partner, not as a _daughter_ \--

Jade hardly noticed that she had been tugging at her bindings until the friction of the rope alerted her and then she realized what she really needed was to get this blindfold off because she needed to see, she needed to _know_ that Tori was still there, and she pushed her face against her shoulder, desperately trying to dislodge it, when--

“Okay, _blast-off_ ,” came Tori’s voice, loud and clear, and immediately the sharp snick of scissors, and Jade’s hands could lower and she tore off the blindfold, but couldn’t open her eyes.

“Blast-off, blast-off,” Jade panted in response, the word reminding her of what she needed, of the safety measure available to her. More sounds, and the rope fell away from her wrists, and then Jade’s eyes flew open, and there was Tori, standing over her, face controlled but paler than usual, looking right at her.

Jade turned away from her, the very thing she’d needed only seconds ago, confirmation of her presence, abruptly too intense, the flash of anger Jade felt too dangerous, and she rolled onto her side, curling up into herself, but then longing filled her again, and she reached behind her, groping for and grabbing Tori’s hand, holding it tightly.

They both stayed still for a long moment, as Jade took several steadying breaths, still squeezing Tori’s hand, until Jade felt the warmth of a very cautious hand on her shoulder.

“Is it okay if I hold you?” Tori asked.

In answer, Jade tugged at the hand she was still holding, inviting Tori onto the bed with her, and she felt Tori tuck herself up against Jade’s back, an arm wrapping around her, holding her tightly, and Jade released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She felt _drained_ , like she’d already cried herself out, though she was pretty certain she hadn’t cried at all. She realized that Tori had been the one to call the safeword, but it didn’t feel like it. Though the thought of calling her safeword hadn’t really crossed her mind, Jade wondered if she would’ve done it even if it had. What did she even have to safeword out of, lying in bed?

Eventually, she turned in Tori’s arms, and burrowed closer to her chest, eyes open, the indistinct colors of Tori’s shirt more grounding than the darkness behind her eyelids. She felt Tori’s hands stroking her hair, felt her tugging the bedspread from her own unmade side of the bed over and around them, felt the comfort of her touch, her presence. Jade remembered how she’d asked to be naked, and was relieved Tori had suggested otherwise, because she thought it could only have been so much worse if she felt that much more vulnerable.

Jade finally spoke, “I didn’t like that,” she said quietly.

Tori just nodded against her. “I know,” she said regretfully.

Jade felt the need to elaborate, because she could hear the pain in Tori’s voice. “Just the part where I couldn’t see, where I felt alone. I didn’t like being alone in my own head.”

“We don’t have to do it ever again,” Tori promised her.

Jade sighed out emotional release, already feeling better. The brush of lips against her forehead brought the first soft smile to her mouth since she’d been freed.

-

“So, we should talk about what happened last night.”

They were seated at the dining room table. Tori had made BLTs for lunch (with veggie bacon), and had been trying to choose her moment carefully. After Jade had recovered in her arms the evening before, they’d shifted slowly back into their regular dynamic. Tori had made her coffee and Jade had stayed wrapped in a blanket for a little while, but as the evening progressed, she fully came back to herself. It was after dinner, so Tori had made brownies, and they’d smoked a little weed (at Jade’s request) and eaten warm brownies in front of the TV to cap off their night. Tori had fallen asleep spooning Jade, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, though it felt a bit more emotionally significant with the way Jade pushed back against her, or the way she held Tori’s hand to her chest.

Otherwise, Jade had been normal enough today. Grumpy before she got coffee, then she’d shifted to getting on her computer for a little while, checking her work email account to make sure nothing required her attention.

Even now, the way Jade stiffened and her eyes narrowed in response to Tori felt typical for her when confronted by something she really didn’t want to discuss. But she took a deep breath, and though her expression suggested she’d rather do anything else, she said, “Okay. Let’s.”

“I know that the scene didn’t go well,” Tori began, “And I know why I called the safeword.”

It had been an easy decision, given what had happened. Just before about the five minute mark, when Tori had intended another nonverbal check-in, Jade had asked if she was still there. Tori hadn’t replied, because they’d agreed that she wouldn’t, and because it wouldn’t be unlike Jade to test her with something like that. But quickly, Jade’s body language had shown that she was not okay, that she was maybe beginning to panic, and Tori wasn’t about to wait for her to call the safeword herself, or even to check in nonverbally, because _she_ didn’t feel good about what was happening. She remembered the way Jade’s heel had dug rhythmically into the mattress, like an anxious tic, the way her shoulders had jerked against her bindings, the way she’d desperately pushed her face at her arm to try to dislodge her mask. No, Tori hadn’t liked that, and even _if_ it had been Jade being perfectly okay and exploring the limits of her situation, Tori didn’t feel safe herself.

“You don’t have to tell me everything about the experience if you don’t want to,” Tori continued, “But if you’re willing, I want to know if anything did work for you, and what didn’t.”

Jade sighed and scratched at her head, running a hand roughly through her hair in agitation. She was quiet for a long moment, maybe gathering her thoughts, maybe hoping that Tori might drop it if she just didn’t respond, but finally she said, “The part where I was tied up was fine. At least until I wanted to take off my blindfold but couldn’t.”

Tori nodded, “It sounded like the blindfold was the part that really didn’t work.”

“Yeah,” Jade replied quietly, “I guess it’s just...if I’m going to be helpless, I want it to be for a reason. Like I want it to be interactive, I want to know you’re with me, I want to feel connected to you.”

Tori didn’t point out that for some people, having her there quietly observing was all the connection they needed, that she served as their anchor in the darkness as they sank into sensory deprivation bliss, keeping them safe and slowing bringing them back to the harshness of the physical world when their time was over. Jade clearly hadn’t felt anything like that, and it only meant that they’d discovered something about what made submission meaningful to her. “Okay,” Tori spoke quietly, “We won’t do anything like this again, and if you’re still open to exploration, we’ll make sure it’s only in the context of us together physically.”

Jade frowned, “What do you mean, if?”

It took Tori a second to realize what Jade had gotten stuck on. “I just mean that there’s no pressure to keep exploring kink with me.”

“What are you talking about?” Jade frowned, “I _want_ to do this. Especially while we have the time to do it. Because you...you’ve been doing this for _years_ , and I just want to know where I stand with it all, so I can satisfy your needs, and meet your expectations and…” she trailed off, looking defiant and stern.

Tori felt a fond smile tugging her lips, “I don’t _have_ any expectations,” she told Jade.

Jade scoffed, “You regularly dominate people in daily life.”

“Yeah, for _work_ ,” Tori replied, “Everything is different with a new person,” she reminded Jade of the words she’d used so long ago when they’d been exploring intimacy together for the first time. “And I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been exploring kink with someone I’m in love with. It’s very different, and it’s new to me, too. I might have more practical experience than you do, but...we’re learning, together. And it’s really important to me that I get this right.” Jade had previously teased her about her caution, but this experience had confirmed for Tori that she was right to take things slow and to talk as much as possible about everything. She was well aware of the possibility of things going awry when playing, but she wasn’t sure that Jade had anticipated it in the same way.

Jade still looked fierce, though she had softened considerably since they’d started talking. “If you’re worried you scared me off, don’t be,” she said succinctly.

Tori smiled, “I’m glad to hear it, but I do think we should take kink off the table, just briefly.” Tori herself would feel better waiting a little while before trying something again.

“But--” Jade’s face twisted, guilty and frustrated, “I just thought we should try to figure it out while we could, so I could know what I can do for you--”

Tori took a chance and slid her hand across the table to grab Jade’s. “We have _so much_ time, Jade. There’s no time limit on this.” She had sensed from what Jade had said before that she’d placed an artificial time limit on this, in the form of this month they had largely taken as a vacation. “This kind of exploration can be ongoing for a _very_ long time as new discoveries are made. So don’t worry about having it all figured out. And don’t worry about what I’m into. If there’s something I really enjoy that you’re not into, we can talk about how to accommodate my needs in the future, but I _really_ don’t foresee that happening.”

Jade lifted her eyes to Tori’s again, a smile quirking her lip. “Yeah?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Tori replied emphatically.

After that conversation, Jade seemed to relax, and when Tori headed outside into the afternoon to do some yoga in the yard while the sun was out, Jade sat at the picnic table and sketched her, and Tori felt good about where their talk had taken them.

-

“Good morning,” Tori smiled at her as she ambled into the kitchen. It was Sunday morning, and Tori was pouring water from her gooseneck kettle over the coffee grounds in her Chemex filter. “Coffee’s almost ready.”

“Good,” Jade grumbled, “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“For what?” Tori asked, tone still cheerful. Tori wasn’t all that much of a morning person herself, but she was certainly more functional than Jade. In the moment, it rubbed her the wrong way.

“For making your side of the bed, since you’re incapable.” Jade hadn’t even really meant to talk about it, but after the _you’re welcome_ had burst out of her mouth, she didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Tori just raised her eyebrows, unperturbed, “I’ve just never seen the purpose of it. And you don’t have to make my side of the bed.”

“Yeah, I do, because otherwise the sheets get all wrinkly and I hate it,” Jade jabbed back, sitting heavily onto a barstool and slouching onto the kitchen island.

“Okay, well, I’ll try to do better about straightening the sheets,” Tori replied, her voice betraying her irritation though she tried to sound patient. She poured Jade a cup of coffee just as soon as it was ready and slid it across the counter toward her, taking her own cup to the sofa where she sat and scrolled on her phone, giving grumpy Jade her space.

Jade’s sour mood lingered throughout the morning, and even coffee couldn’t quite cure it. She wasn’t sure if it was rubbing off of Tori or what, because by the afternoon, it seemed that Tori’s morning cheerfulness had started to evaporate, too.

“Jade,” Tori said firmly.

“What?” Jade asked, looking up from where she was on the couch, watching SplashFace videos.

Tori was holding two coffee mugs in her hand and was wearing a dangerous expression. “Now that you live here, too,” she started, which already made Jade prickle with irritation, “Maybe you could make a _little_ more of an effort to not leave your coffee cups all over the house. I found these in the bathroom and the bedroom, and--” she eyed the mug on the coffee table, “Are you done with that one?”

“No,” Jade lunged for it and picked it up. There was barely a splash left in the bottom of her mug, but she wasn’t about to let Tori waste perfectly good coffee, “I’m still drinking this.”

Tori sighed and carried the mugs into the kitchen, where she rinsed them and put them into the dishwasher. Jade figured she probably would have responded more kindly if not for the jab about moving into what had once been solely Tori’s space.

Aaand that was only made worse when Tori joined her on the couch before long, and tugged a sock out from between the couch cushions.

“Okay, seriously,” Tori griped, holding it up.

“I’m sorry,” Jade’s temper flared, “Do you want me to go back to the guest house? Because I can.”

“No, I just want you to respect the house!” Tori circled her hand in an all-encompassing way.

“ _Okay_ , so you’re not about to start making the bed that we share because it makes me more comfortable, but things _I_ do are inherently disrespectful, I see how it is,” Jade drained the last dregs of her coffee and stood up to take her mug into the kitchen, where she rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher. But, you know, _spitefully_.

“Look, I’m not trying to argue with you,” Tori spoke tersely, standing up and folding her arms.

“Yeah, you’re doing _so well_ at that,” Jade bit back as she dried her hands on the kitchen hand towel.

“Jade, can you _maybe_ just--” Tori’s phone buzzed in her hand, and Jade felt her own buzz in her pocket, and they exchanged a curious glance. It was enough to derail the argument as they both checked their phones.

It was a text from Andre that Jade noticed had been sent to Tori, Cat and herself.

**Hey I was going through some old stuff**

**And I found a video of my Christmas song from junior year**

**Maybe I’m just feeling the spirit but I want to record it**

**I have some free time in the studio this week if y’all are available**

**Because I really want it to be you three**

Jade looked up to find Tori gazing back at her. “Wow,” Tori shook her head, “I haven’t sang anything in...years.”

“You mean besides your Bad Bondage Gear song?” Jade teased, but it lacked any bite as the text interruption drained the tension out of the room. Tori grinned ruefully, and Jade continued, “I mean, me neither, aside from some piano bar karaoke.”

“Cat’s kind of a local karaoke legend, so maybe she’s kept up a little better than we have, but...damn. This is really cool of Andre.”

“It is,” Jade agreed, “And we certainly have the time to do it.”

“You know,” Tori said tentatively, “Maybe it would be a good thing for us to hang out with our friends more during this downtime.”

“You mean instead of staying home and irritating the hell out of each other?” Jade raised her eyebrows, “But yeah, even just going to see Sam the other day felt good. I don’t really think time off is that good for me.”

“I hear you. But maybe doing something creative with our friends is what we need.”

Jade liked the idea of that. Maybe it was time to finally let herself be satisfied with a cut of her 360 camera test and start sending it out to people she trusted to take a look at it.

Later that week, they met Andre and Cat at a small recording studio downtown, where they recorded several takes of the song they'd performed so many years ago. As soon as they were in the space, Jade felt a little something akin to time travel. There they were, the four of them working together on a song, with Andre saying, "hold on, check out this riff" or Cat breaking into a run that came out of nowhere but carried everything up a notch. Tori would watch everyone else as she bobbed her head and took control of the verse they were working on, effortlessly handing it off to Jade at the chorus. It was like they'd all suddenly remembered how to speak a dormant language.

And it wasn't just related to the music, there was a fun playfulness in the air between them all, the reminiscent stories that left them dissolving into laughter and the way the hair on Jade's arms stood up when Andre played back the mix at the end of the session. She'd missed this. With the way Tori's arm was looped through hers as she tugged Jade a little closer, it was evident that Tori missed it, too.

As they walked out to their cars and said goodnight to Andre and Cat (he was giving her a ride back to Venice), Tori gave them both fierce hugs. "I want to do this more."

"Anytime, I keep telling you that," he said.

Cat flung herself at Jade, but after so many years of being friends with Cat, Jade was ready for the impact. "I missed your voice," Cat said. "You should come to karaoke night with me." She tilted her head toward Tori. "You can bring her, too," she giggled. "But I really mean it. I miss our duets."

The truth was, so did Jade. She missed singing and she hadn't embraced it seriously in a very long time, that night out in New York being the most recent instance of it in ages. "I'd like that," Jade admitted.

On the way home, Tori had to reply to a work email (not _that_ kind of email, just regular business stuff) so Jade was in her head as she drove them back toward Encino. Earlier in the day, while Andre and Tori had been discussing music production, she and Cat had started chatting about Cat's Bra Candy Fashion Show and the conversation had landed on Jade taking high quality photos of the Bra Candy pieces. There was something about this project that piqued Jade's interest, maybe that it was so uniquely Cat Valentine, but she was excited about it, even if it was just going to be still images of...bras that held candy, as far as she knew.

"Do you just want to order something tonight?" Tori asked, apparently done with her email and already scrolling through her phone for the Bring It 2 Me app.

"Yeah, that sounds fine." Jade was stopped at the light just off the freeway exit and she took a moment to take in the sight of Tori in the red glow of the stoplight.

"Uh, pizza?"

"Nah, we had that over the weekend."

"Good point. Um, Thai? We can get that curry you like."

They'd been arguing a little more about small things at home lately, but there were also just moments like this, where Tori handled things like dinner and coffee, where Jade made sure the bed was made and the towels were hung back up in the bathroom. They were compatible, Jade knew that. It was just about taking care of the patches where maybe they needed a little work.

She reached over and picked up Tori's hand, bringing it to her lips to place a kiss across her fingers. The light changed and Jade was quick to put her attention back on the road.

"Thai sounds great."

-

“Is this yours or Trina’s?” Jade asked, holding up a sweater.

Tori considered the garment, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. “I _think_ it was mine originally, but then Trina stole it.”

Jade continued holding it up, “So, then, what are you doing with it?”

“Put it in Trina’s pile. She stole it for long enough that it’s her responsibility.”

Jade tossed the sweater into the box of Trina’s belongings that they kept finding as they went through what was left in Tori’s old bedroom. Trina (who was already in town for Christmas, a week early) continued to claim that she didn’t have anything left in there, which was why she was in the jacuzzi instead of helping them, and Tori felt like she had to make a point. Being able to show, in an accumulated form, how much Trina had left behind was probably some kind of vindictive younger sibling move, but whatever, Tori was the one doing all the work. Her reward could be getting Trina to eat her words.

Right now, Jade was pawing through the two dressers that were shoved into the room, letting Tori tell her which pile the clothes belonged in (keep, donate, trash, or Trina), while Tori was looking through boxes so that she could actually start evaluating what else was in her closet besides them. And across the room, Tori’s old laptop was sitting charging on Trina’s former desk, finally in the same place as Jeremy’s charger, which he’d found a few days before and that they’d finally picked up that afternoon on their way to Tori’s parents’ house. The disc with the _Hello, Future Me_ projects sat on top of the closed computer, so that everything was together.

Tori finished sorting through a box of what seemed to be things emptied out of the drawers of her old desk (which had been cleaned out long before Jade had claimed it), most of which was trash, but a few miscellaneous office supplies were still usable. She was making progress. Her next box was probably an old dresser drawer, because it seemed to be full of old bras, underwear, and swimsuits. And not just hers. She couldn’t imagine either she or Trina needed undergarments from a decade ago, so she just set that aside as trash without a second thought.

The next box was all books, which Tori figured she could go through later at her leisure. It was unlikely any of them were Trina’s. And with that box out of the way, Tori could now actually stand in her closet, and start examining clothes that were hanging up, shoes that were shoved into the back, plastic totes filled with odds and ends that she’d forgotten about.

Jade appeared behind her, in the doorway of the closet. “Oh, wow,” she commented, “You’re done with the boxes.”

“Yep, all nine of them,” Tori sighed. The first thing she picked up was her body pillow, which had gotten pushed further and further back as she worked through the boxes. “This is trash,” she told Jade, passing it to her.

Jade recoiled, but then reluctantly took it. “What’s _that_ one’s name?” she asked sarcastically.

“Soft...ía Vergara,” Tori shot back, unable to keep from smirking at what she’d come up with on the fly.

“Oh, my god,” Jade groaned as she placed the body pillow in the trash pile. “That was really terrible.”

Tori just laughed and started shifting through some of the clothes on hangers that she now could see much better. She pulled a tan blazer off the rack and regarded it curiously, then held it up to her body, “What do you think?” she asked Jade.

Jade tilted her head, “Do you really need more blazers?”

The comment made Tori want to keep it and she narrowed her eyes at Jade, but she didn’t need it. She was pretty sure she already had a blazer of a similar color that likely fit her better than this one did. “Donate,” she sighed, passing it to Jade. Jade nodded and took the garment. Tori turned back to the clothes. Chiz, there were a lot of blazers left in here. But something else caught her eye and she pulled out a familiar dress.

“What is _that_?” Jade asked, still hovering in the doorway.

“A dress.”

Jade raised her eyebrow, “Yeah, I can see _that_. Show it to me.”

-

Tori held out the dress in front of herself. It was zebra print with red flowers on it, three-quarter sleeves, a low neckline, and short. Jade stared. It wasn’t the Hot For Teacher dress that had popped up in so many fantasies over the years, but it was similar. She tried to imagine the way it would look on Tori, the way it would cling to her.

“Jade?” Tori’s voice cut into her thoughts.

“Huh?”

“You haven’t said anything for like, thirty seconds.” Tori’s expression suggested that Jade had been leering and that she didn’t mind at all.

“What even _is_ this dress and why don’t I remember it?” Jade asked, folding her arms.

“I don’t know,” Tori shrugged, “I don’t think I ever wore it to school. It was for like, special occasions.”

“What _kind_ of special occasions?” Jade asked.

“Well, I mostly remember wearing it when I sung that song to Trina for her birthweek in...what, sophomore year?”

“You wore this dress for _your sister_?” Jade asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” Tori drawled, “It’s a _nice_ dress, and Andre and I were performing with backup dancers and everything. And my dad was recording it.”

“Oh my god,” Jade turned and had to walk away from where Tori was standing and holding up that dumb dress.

“What?” Tori asked, stepping out of the closet.

“I’m sorry, that stupid, sexy dress is _way_ too stupid and sexy to have been wasted on your sister!”

Tori laughed, “Okay, I _definitely_ wasn’t trying to look sexy for Trina.” She paused, “You really think this dress is sexy?”

“Uh, _yeah_ ,” Jade shot her a look. “You know how I feel about the sexy teacher vibe.”

“It’s not _that_ dress though,” Tori frowned. “And I don’t think a teacher would wear this? At least not the kind _I’m_ picturing,” she teased.

Jade groaned, “I realize that, Tori, but it’s similar.”

“I wonder if it still fits,” Tori mused, a glint of amusement in her eyes.

They stared at each other for a long moment, Jade waiting to see if she was serious, Tori probably waiting for Jade to beg or something. Finally, Jade demanded, “Well, put it on!”

“Okay, since you asked so nicely,” Tori replied calmly, then laid the dress on the bed and began unbuttoning her jeans. Jade stared and realized she was to be given the experience of watching Tori shamelessly change clothes in front of her. It wasn’t new; they had been in the same dressing room many times before they’d even kissed, not to mention the fact that they’d seen each other in every stage of dress or undress over the years they’d dated, but it was as if Jade was attuned to a different frequency at this stage of life, and she felt a thrum of power in the room, as if watching Tori undress were a privilege she was being allowed to enjoy.

She didn’t understand how the simple action had such an effect on her, but it made Jade subside from all the contrary energy she’d been leading with since the dress had been found. She watched eagerly as Tori stepped out of her jeans and shucked off the blazer she was, of course, wearing, then pulled off her shirt. She stood in her undergarments (and socks) for a moment, examining the dress, then seemed to come to a decision as she reached around to take her bra off.

Jade sucked in a breath at the sight. There was a level of boldness to Tori’s actions, to her almost cavalier attitude about the way she stood almost naked in her old bedroom with Jade. Though the Vega house rule (“don’t do anything you wouldn’t want someone walking in on”) hadn’t really been a thing since they graduated high school, they’d still been pretty cautious when they’d stayed at Tori’s together post-high school, the belief in a lack of privacy long ingrained in them. It was why most college experimentation occurred in Jade’s dorm room.

But now, Tori’s entire family was home, and she was taking her sweet time calmly pulling the dress over her head. She tugged it into place, smoothing the sleeves and then running her hands over her sides, then she stepped closer to Jade, spreading her arms and then planting her hands on her hips.

“Well?” Tori asked, “What do you think?” She raised her arms and spun, slowly.

Jade stared, because the dress was _tight_ and absolutely clung to Tori like a second skin. “Again. You wore that for _your sister_?” she said incredulously.

“I wasn’t _dressing up_ for Trina! I was just trying to look nice for my performance!” Tori argued. “Besides,” she gestured to her body, emphasizing the delicate curves of her lean form, “Things _have_ changed a little since I was sixteen.”

“Uh, yeah,” Jade agreed. “Case in point,” she placed her left hand on Tori’s breast, “And,” she murmured before placing her right hand on Tori’s ass. She nodded, smirking, giving an affectionate squeeze with both hands. “Yep. Things sure have changed.”

Tori returned the look with her own wicked smirk, looping her own arms around Jade, and it seemed like she was about to make a retort of her own when Jade decided they didn’t need to be talking anymore, not when they could be doing other things. She leaned in, brushing her nose against Tori’s, seeing her eyes flutter behind her glasses, and then they were kissing.

Jade’s hands were already where she wanted them to be, and she pulled Tori closer with the hand on her ass, slowly ran her fingers over her breast, feeling the way Tori responded, melting into her, humming in the back of her throat as they kissed.

The dress was _sexy_ , the warmth of Tori’s skin palpable through the fabric, and Jade couldn’t help her reaction to it. Of course, Tori undoubtedly knew exactly what wearing this dress was going to do to Jade. But they hadn’t been intimate since the failed sensory deprivation scene almost a week ago. Not necessarily _because_ of that (though it probably hadn’t helped), more because of Jade’s period and the opportunity to make music with their friends. But now, here, in this familiar space that they were finally clearing out, finally removing the last physical ties Tori had to this room, Jade felt very close to Tori.

Especially in that damn dress.

She let her right hand slide down to the bottom hem, deliberately running her fingers all along Tori’s thigh, feeling Tori inhale at her touch. Maybe because of all the memories coming to Jade about the similar dress, that _Hot For Teacher_ dress, Jade didn’t guide Tori to the bed that was literally _right there_. No, she wanted them to be standing, so instead she withdrew her hand long enough to reach over and shove the closet door closed, then guided Tori over to it, pressing her against the door, left hand still groping her breast, the other returning to slip beneath the dress, thumb trailing over her hip bone, fingers dipping past the waistband of her underwear the knead her ass.

Tori’s head tipped back, knocking lightly against the closet door, “Oh my god,” she got out as Jade’s left hand began skimming lower down her body, taking its time to map the contours of Tori’s torso: the underside of her breast, the shape of her ribcage, the planes of her stomach, the subtle curve as her waist met her hips. Jade’s lips were on her neck, teeth making her gasp, Tori’s hands were at her shoulders, in her hair, tugging her even closer, urging her on.

Jade had both hands under Tori’s dress now, her left sliding all the way up Tori’s body, tugging and lifting the stretchy fabric of the garment until her hand was, once again, on Tori’s breast. The dress now barely covered Tori from the waist down, but it didn’t matter, because Jade’s right hand was sliding around her body, slowly caressing soft skin, pausing at the tender, thin skin just past Tori’s hip bone, waiting just long enough to give Tori a chance to stop her.

Instead, Tori pulled Jade’s hair carefully, enough to make her eyes roll back in pleasure and her head tilt, and Tori kissed her hard, which was all the confirmation Jade needed. She let her fingers slip down, whimpering against Tori’s lips at how _wet_ she was. She let her middle finger press and swirl through soft flesh, centering on Tori’s clit, feeling the way Tori’s hips surged back against her, encouraging her movements.

If Jade knew Tori--and she thought she probably knew her better than anyone--this wouldn’t take long. She broke away from their kiss to nuzzle the hair near Tori’s ear. “You have no idea how good it feels to get up under this dress,” she growled.

It was kind of cliche, but it was true, and Tori stifled a moan at Jade’s words. “Just...don’t stop,” she murmured desperately.

Jade chuckled, considering whether or not she wanted to tease Tori, like Tori so often teased her, when abruptly--

\--the bedroom door opened.

“Tori, Mom wants to kno-- _OH MY GOD_!” Trina had barged in, her hand immediately flying up in front of her face, other hand clutching the beach towel wrapped around her body.

“Trina!” Tori snapped.

Jade had immediately done her best to angle her body to cover Tori’s. “Get out!” she roared.

“I _am_ , I don’t want to see this!” Trina hurriedly exited the room, as well as she could with her eyes squeezed shut.

“Oh my god,” Tori uttered, body shaking with giggles.

Jade wanted to dissolve into laughter, too, because for all the years they’d fooled around in this room, there had been plenty of near-misses with Trina, but _of course_ , today had been an actual interruption. But she also still had fingers working between Tori’s legs, circling her clit. “Stay with me,” she urged, voice pitched low in warning.

Tori shot her a challenging smirk, “Look at you, trying to to--” she broke off into a moan, back arching, as Jade tweaked her nipple, a little harder than she normally would.

“I said,” Jade drawled, “Stay with me.” She kissed Tori’s jaw, taking the sting out of her tone, her other hand gently covering Tori’s breast soothingly.

“I’m with you,” Tori panted, fingernails digging into the back of Jade’s scalp, “ _Fuck_.”

Jade continued the gentle kisses along Tori’s jaw and neck, in contrast to all the motion lower, the firm touches of her hand on Tori’s breast, the rhythmic swirls of her fingers between Tori’s legs working in time with the answering undulations of Tori’s hips. When Tori’s legs began trembling, Jade brushed her nose against her hair again and whispered, “Are you going to come for me?”

The reaction was instantaneous, Tori’s entire body going rigid for a moment, fingers gripping Jade hard, and then her head fell back against the door as her body shook, her hips pushing into Jade’s hand, groans strangled in her throat, until she was sagging and gasping and clinging to Jade.

Jade withdrew her hands out from under Tori’s dress, looping her arms around her body and holding her, letting her catch her breath and regain stability in her legs. She kissed the side of Tori’s head, grinning at the muffled moans Tori released into Jade’s shoulder as she recovered, feeling elated as Tori’s arms went from loose and floppy to returning Jade’s hug tightly, squeezing occasionally, expressive gestures that made Jade feel loved.

“I love you,” Tori mumbled into her shoulder. Jade’s smile widened.

Jade pulled back enough to look at Tori, who was wearing her goofy grin and gazing at her adoringly. “I love you,” she replied, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Should we go see if we scarred Trina for life?”

“Oh my _god_ I can’t believe that happened,” Tori pressed her face into Jade’s shoulder again.

Jade chuckled, “We’ve been telling her to knock for _years_.”

Tori didn’t even bother changing out of her dress as she walked through the bathroom to knock on the door to what used to be Trina’s room. Jade followed into the bathroom, turning on the sink to wash her hands after hearing the “ _What?!_ ” of Trina’s reply through the door, which Tori pushed open.

Trina was standing in the workout room next to an open suitcase, still wearing a swimsuit and wrapped in a towel, a PearPhone held to her ear. She eyed them both in irritation.

“Neil, I’m going to have to call you back, it looks like my sister and her girlfriend are finished fingerbanging in the guest room. Uh huh. You, too.” Trina lowered the PearPhone, looking past Tori to Jade, who was finishing washing her hands. “What is wrong with you?” she asked.

“What, would you rather I _not_ wash them?” Jade asked.

Trina sighed in irritation. “What do you want?” she directed at Tori.

“Who’s _Neil_?” Tori asked with interest.

“It doesn’t matter,” Trina waved her hand dismissively.

Jade sidled up next to Tori and nudged her, “Maybe Neil is Trina’s ‘proficient lover,’” she suggested.

“ _Maybe_ ,” Trina started, “You should mind your own business.”

“What, it can’t be my business if my sister has a boyfriend?” Tori asked playfully.

“Okay,” Trina held her hands in front of her, “For me, I’ve already reached my limit on sisterly sharing about our sex lives for, oh, the next year. So what do you want?”

“You said Mom wanted something?” Tori asked.

“Oh, she just wanted to know if you were staying for dinner,” Trina said.

Tori glanced at Jade, who nodded. “Sure,” Tori agreed.

“Well, tell that to her, not me,” Trina rolled her eyes. “Tell me you’re at least almost done in there so I can actually sleep on that bed tonight.” Trina had arrived in town that afternoon and fully intended to use the guest room, which was part of why Tori was rushing to finish sorting through everything that day.

“Just about,” Tori replied, “There’s a big pile of your stuff in there, too.”

“There is _not_ ,” Trina scoffed, but before Tori could refute that--which Jade saw she absolutely opened her mouth to do--Trina frowned, “Is that the dress you wore for my birthweek song?”

“You mean the one you _sold_ and didn’t even share the profit with me and Andre?” Tori asked dangerously. “Yeah, it is. Wait, how do you even remember that?”

Trina shrugged, “Dad found the video a few years back and sent it to me for my birthday. I watch it every year.” Okay, that was actually pretty sweet coming from Trina. Jade glanced over at Tori, whose expression had softened.

“Aww,” Tori crooned.

“Well, after what I saw today, I’m never watching it again,” Trina declared.

Tori’s mouth flopped open. “Wait a minute, you don’t deserve to watch it anyway, you told me back then it didn’t count as a present!”

“It doesn’t!” Trina denied, “It counts as a memory! And now it counts as a memory I’d like to forget.”

“You are the _worst_ ,” Tori fumed, though Jade didn’t think she was actually mad.

Trina appeared to be holding back her own retort, and finally sighed, “Are you two done bothering me? Because I’d like to get out of my wet swimsuit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jade drawled, tugging Tori by the elbow, “Tell Neil we said hi,” she shot back at Trina.

“Neil is none of your concern!” Trina bit back as she followed Tori and Jade into the bathroom, then closed the bathroom door after them and locked it audibly. Jade heard the sound of the shower a moment later.

Tori directed a long-suffering sigh at the bathroom door, then pulled the dress up over her head. She held it out thoughtfully. “What do you think, keep?” she asked with a smirk.

“Definitely keep,” Jade agreed, watching a nearly nude Tori casually toss the sexy dress onto the keep pile.

By the time they were finished with the bedroom, leaving only a pile of Trina’s belongings on the floor to welcome her to the guest room, it was time for dinner. Afterwards, they’d intended to watch their _Hello, Future Me_ projects together on the now-charged computer (which Tori had checked, and it still worked and even had some of her old data on it). But with Trina settling into the guest room, and with neither of them particularly trusting Tori’s family to give them privacy in the home gym or the living room, Tori had suggested that they head to their overlook, to which Jade happily agreed.

While Tori's 2020 Subaru station wagon was a drastic step up from the Shaggin' Wagon, Jade still felt a familiarity at being stretched out in the back, across an old quilt, with the lights of Los Angeles spilling out in front of them. The hatch was open, despite the chilly December air, because Tori wanted to revisit the view. Jade was fine with it, as long as she remained under the thick fleece blanket that was draped over them both.

They had the old PearBook in front of them, their _Hello, Future Me_ projects loaded into the queue of the PearPlayer on the screen.

"Wanna start with yours?" Tori asked, already sliding the cursor over the file labeled _J_West_2013_.

Jade had a vague memory of what hers had said and, while she knew Tori wouldn't judge her on it (not seriously, anyway) she was still anxious about watching herself, so unaware of what the future held for Young Jade. "Yeah, whatever."

A click, and then there was her voice, through the speakers of the laptop.

“Uh, so I’m Jade West and right now I’m a high school senior at Hollywood Arts. I’m into film and acting and horror. I’m dating Tori Vega.” The Young Jade on screen raised her phone to show a goofy picture of Tori, grinning like a big nerd. That part hadn't really changed a bit. Other than the dominatrix thing. “She’s totally nerdy but also hot and I love her," Jade felt Tori's hand around her own, under the blanket, giving her fingers a squeeze. "So shut it down if you’re thinking anything pervy. Um, I guess in ten years I’ll have gone to film school," at least she'd gotten that part right, "and should have, like, three movies made." Aaand, that part wrong. "They’ll be indie horror films that I take around to places like Fantastic Fest and Sundance and everyone will love them because I’m good at it. Maybe by then Tori and I will be married. I don’t know.”

As her own face hesitated on camera, Jade remembered the exact thought she'd been having, if only because she'd thought it at least a hundred times. Even though they'd been young, getting married had always been at the back of Jade's mind as a future possibility. It just seemed like the path they were on, the one that led through college and into careers and eventually right down the aisle. “I...wonder if Tori wants to have kids. We haven’t talked about that because we’re still in high school and it’s not like she’s going to accidentally knock me up.” Oh god, she'd forgotten about that part. “...I think that’s enough.”

The video ended and Jade hadn't expected to feel so...vulnerable.

But Tori’s hand still held onto hers, fingers locked together, warm beneath the blanket, while her other hand clicked on the second video, the one labeled _T_Vega_2013_.

And there was Tori, seventeen and just how Jade still pictured her in certain memories, her first girlfriend, the goofy nerd who began her videos (including this one) with, " _Yo, yo, yo, I'm Tori Vega_!"

Jade couldn't hold back a snort of laughter, to which Tori responded with a squeeze of her fingers that was less about reassurance and more about _hey now, leave me alone_. Jade pulled Tori's hand into her lap, enclosing it with both of her own, trailing fingertips over Tori's knuckles and fiddling with Tori's ring.

"I'm a senior at Hollywood Arts where I have a cool group of friends that I like to hang out with. I've been dating Jade West for about a year and we're both planning to go to college here in LA, which is exciting, because we both applied to a few different schools in different places. But, we'll be close and I'm really happy about that." Jade glanced at Tori, wondering if the words from the video were settling with her the same way. They really had been so glad to stay local together, almost as if they'd somehow known that distance would be a weakness. But Tori was focused on the screen, so Jade returned her attention to the laptop.

The location changed and suddenly Tori was in the lobby of Neutronium Records. "Last year, I performed the opening number for the Platinum Music Awards and was offered a contract with Neutronium Records. I would hope this means that, in ten years, I'll still be singing and performing." And then Tori was in the main theater at Hollywood Arts, dressed up like a 1940s actress. "I also love acting, both on stage and on screen." Her voice shifted to the exact tone that Jade used to tease her with, "I'm ready for my close up!"

Jade snorted with laughter. "Oh my god," she said, then quickly shut herself up.

Tori elbowed her. Jade elbowed back. Under the blanket she'd been playing with Tori's ring and slipped it onto her own finger, twisting it and feeling the sensation of all the "star" stones with the fingertip of her other hand.

Now Tori-of-the-past was standing on the roof of the school with the Hollywood sign behind her. "In ten years, I plan to still be here in Los Angeles, still singing, still acting, just in bigger things. I'm Tori Vega and I'll see you..." Teen Tori pointed at the camera. "...in the future."

Again, Jade laughed, but Tori didn't seem to be as amused. "I am _so embarrassing_."

"Uh, I hate to break it to you, but you've always been _exactly like that_."

Tori groaned. "I'd deny it but...I know. I totally know. I'm such a nerd. And...a delusional one, at that."

"That's...a little unfair."

"I just mean, I really thought I'd just transition out of school into acting and be some big star," Tori admitted.

"You...kind of did," Jade said. " _Whisper Creek_ had a big following. People still recognize you from it." But Tori just shrugged. "Okay, what's bothering you?"

"Seeing that...it just really brought back a lot. Stuff I thought about myself. About us." Tori looked over at Jade. "You really thought we'd get married?"

It was Jade's turn to shrug. "We were in love. It certainly felt possible. At some point."

Tori hummed an indeterminate reply. "I never really honestly considered kids," she finally said. "And with work...I don't know that I’d really want to have to work pregnancy kink into my schedule."

Jade sputtered out a half-laugh, "You _could_ just take time off. And there are a ton of other options beyond actually getting pregnant." She realized this perhaps suggested something she didn't intend. "I wasn't really planning on having them, either." She was still spinning Tori's ring on her finger, considering how much of her video had been about them, about her and Tori, and how much of Tori's had been about...Tori. So much had changed over the years, as far as goals and priorities. Their careers were in very different places than their high school counterparts could have ever projected. She supposed that was maybe the point of the assignment, a demonstration in expectation. Though, they'd both still managed parts of their predictions. "Seriously, though. With the career stuff...you starred in a popular series. You did those holiday movies that people like my mom really love."

-

"Not really what I was picturing for myself, but I get what you mean." Tori closed the computer and set it aside as she considered Jade's point. "You actually did what you set out to do. With your movie."

"Yeah, one. I'm only two behind. Shit--" Suddenly Jade was glancing down at her lap.

"What?"

"Your ring. I dropped it." Jade whipped back the blanket only to immediately follow something with her eyes toward the open hatch of the station wagon. "Aaaand, I think I just flung it out there." Quickly, she crawled toward the opening, using her PearPhone flashlight to scan the ground.

Tori followed her to the back of the car, sitting on the bumper, eyes moving with the light of Jade's phone, looking for a glint of metal against the dirt. Now Jade was on her knees, looking under the car. "Do you really think it went that way? Wouldn't it have gone--" But then, Jade wasn't searching for anything, she was kneeling in front of Tori, the ring securely between her fingers.

"Tori..." Jade looked up at her. "Watching those videos reminded me of two things. One is that you are the biggest nerd on the face of this planet. And the other is that I've always wanted to move through this stupid world with you."

"Jade," Tori said, softly, sliding off the edge of the car and settling on her knees to be face-to-face with Jade. "Are you asking--"

"--I would if you'd let me finish talking," Jade bit back, but she was fighting both a smile and maybe tears, at the same time.

But then there was silence. "Okay, so... _finish talking_!"

Finally, there it was, both the question, "You want to marry me?" and an unrestrainable grin.

"Yes. Yes, absolutely. _Yes_."

"So, that's a yes, then?"

Tori grabbed Jade by the shoulders and kissed her, firmly, securely, solidly. But it was also December and, even though winter was mild in Los Angeles, it was still chilly enough that they were both shivering. "Can we finish this conversation in the car?"

"Just one thing," Jade said, taking Tori's left hand and sliding the ring onto it.

-

It turned out there wasn’t much more to actually say, in the back of the Subaru, but they stayed at the overlook for a while longer anyway, kissing under the blanket and letting the giddy warmth of Jade’s proposal buoy them up to the stars.

They headed home still riding high on elation, stealing kisses all through the house as they began the process of getting ready for bed: carrying in things from the car, checking the locks on the doors, changing into pajamas, standing at their adjacent sinks to wash up. When they were finished in the bathroom, Jade drew Tori in for a kiss as they stood at the foot of the bed, and it became a deep kiss, extended, passionate.

When Tori drew away, however, there was a strange gleam in her eyes, softer than mischief, cooler than ardor. Her lip twitched in an equally strange smile and she said, “Hold on a minute. Sit down,” she gestured to the boot bench.

Jade raised her eyebrow in return, and chuckled, “Okay…” she drawled, taking a seat and watching as Tori opened the closet door and closed herself inside of it. “What are you doing in there?” Jade asked, unable to help herself.

“You’ll see.”

Jade wasn’t content to just wait, however. “Are you getting a sex toy? Or changing into a sexy outfit? Wait, am I getting a lapdance? What’s happening?”

A chuckle from inside the closet, but no reply. Jade let out a breath and drummed her fingers on her knees for a moment as she sat and waited, but it didn’t take long for Tori to open the closet door and come back into the bedroom. She was still dressed in her pajamas, and she wasn’t carrying a sex toy. Jade watched as she came over to sit next to her on the bench.

Tori didn’t say anything for a moment, so Jade filled the silence, “Guess I’m not getting a lapdance,” she snarked.

Tori’s serious expression split into a grin for a moment but then softened into something almost wistful. Jade noticed that she was holding something, fingers moving over it continuously, just before Tori held the object up.

It was a ring, a rather impressive oval-shaped diamond one, the band silvery. Jade could tell it was old on sight, and not because it looked worn, because it didn’t, but something in the style of it tipped her off. She stared at it, then at Tori.

“When I was nineteen, maybe twenty, Grandma Jean gave me this ring,” Tori began, running the pad of her pointer finger along the gem, then down one side of the band. “It was her engagement ring.” Tori smiled, meeting Jade’s eye. “She told me that I was meant to give it to you.”

Jade balked slightly, in surprise, “What?” she asked.

Tori nodded, “Yes. She said she knew we were young, and that we might not be ready yet, but that she wanted me to have it for when we were.”

Jade’s brow furrowed. “Tori, but...we broke up after that. Didn’t she ask for it back?”

Tori shook her head. “No, she never did.”

“But then...she must’ve known you might give it to someone else,” Jade cracked a bitter smile.

Tori’s head was still shaking. “No,” she denied again, “She was _very_ clear when she gave it to me…” Her voice dipped slightly lower, slightly rougher, in an approximation of Grandma Jean’s voice, “’This is for Jade. If you marry someone else, get rid of it, or let Trina get engaged with it, I don’t care what happens to it then, but for you, this only goes to Jade, do you understand me?’”

Jade’s vision blurred slightly, and she blinked away the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “She did _not_ ,” she whispered, then laughed, slightly, “That was a terrible impersonation, by the way.”

“Please, it was _exactly_ how she sounded when she gave it to me,” Tori gave a watery laugh, lifting her hand to casually brush away a tear. “So, then...this is for you, Jade.”

She reached for Jade’s hand and slid the ring into her finger. Jade lifted it to her face, taking in the diamond, feeling her heart swell impossibly fuller. She was wearing _Grandma Jean’s_ engagement ring. It hardly felt real. She looked at Tori, who was smiling affectionately. “Okay, but, you’ve put my proposal to shame,” she told Tori, who squeaked indignantly. “Seriously, I’m getting you a real ring.”

Tori laughed softly, “You don’t have to.” Her fingers ran over the little silver ring with the stars.

Jade shook her head, “No, seriously. I can’t wear this while you’re wearing a ring I bought ten years ago for Christmas and never gave to you and spent like forty-five bucks on it. I’m getting you a real ring, Vega,” Jade narrowed her eyes at her, but then found herself looking back at the ring, at the way it looked on her finger.

“I’m seriously happy with this. Really, Jade,” Tori insisted. Jade didn’t believe her, but she wasn’t going to argue with her. “So you really want to get married, huh?” Tori asked with a wry smile.

“I really, really fucking do,” Jade murmured, leaning in to capture Tori’s lips with her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Talk to Me_ by Stevie Nicks. 
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> “What’s up?” Tori asked, expecting her to offer some kind of suggestion about the work they were doing.
> 
> Instead, what Sam said was, “So...you know Cat and I are doing this pet play thing…”
> 
> Tori nodded, “Yeah, I know. How’s that going?”
> 
> “Well, that’s just it,” Sam replied, rolling her water bottle between her palms. “I don’t really know if we’re doing it right. Like I’ve been reading stuff about it, and there’s supposed to be some kind of power dynamic between the pet and the owner? But that’s not really at all what we’re doing.”
> 
> “There isn’t really a right or wrong way to do kink, what matters is that it’s mutually pleasurable for everyone involved,” Tori replied.
> 
> “I guess,” Sam shrugged, “But then is it even really pet play that we’re doing?”
> 
> “Well, what does the collar mean to you?” Tori asked, setting down her water bottle. Sam followed her lead and they headed over to the cages, Tori grabbing the measuring tape clipped to her belt to assess the best way to get them out.
> 
> “I mean, it represents...consent, I guess. That Cat wants me.”
> 
> “So she can tell you without words,” Tori nodded.
> 
> “Yeah, but I don’t really feel like her owner or whatever when she has it on. I just feel like...the person getting ravished.”
> 
> “Ravished is a pretty animalistic term,” Tori pointed out with a smirk, retracting her tape and nodding for Sam to grab the other end of the horizontal cage.
> 
> “That’s true,” Sam laughed, “Maybe I’m not really thinking about her like she’s a cat, but if she is, and that helps her, then I guess that’s all that matters.”


	17. Fourteen: I just want you for my own, More than you could ever know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're still moving forward on this! And it looks like 20 chapters is the finally the final chapter count. We think. ;)
> 
> Please enjoy this installment and we'll see you next time.

In the morning, after her first cup of coffee, Jade headed to the bedroom to throw on some clothes so she could head out. When she came back to the front of the house, Tori eyed her in surprise, “Where are you going?” she asked.

“My mom’s Christmas present that I bought is ready at the store, so I’m going to pick it up.” Well, that was one reason.

“Oh, okay,” Tori glanced down at herself, as if considering whether she might change clothes to come with Jade. “Have you even had enough coffee to leave the house?”

In answer, Jade grabbed a travel mug and filled it with coffee from the Chemex. “I have enough now.”

“Hey!” Tori exclaimed, “Are you even leaving me any?”

“There’s plenty left for you,” Jade smirked, walking over to where Tori sat on the sofa and leaning over to press and kiss to her lips. “I’ll be back later, I love you.”

Tori’s hand reached up to her jaw, making Jade linger on the kiss. She pulled away slowly to take in Tori’s loving, intimate smile as she sat on the couch in her pajama pants and tank top and her nerdy glasses. “I love you so much,” Tori sighed.

“Nerd,” was Jade’s final, affectionate statement as she walked out the front door to get in her truck.

She had, in fact, been notified the day before that the pendant she’d reserved for her mom was ready for her at the antique store. She’d bought it through a Spectrogram post, and because she was local, had opted to pick it up rather than pay to have it shipped. It was already on her agenda for the day, but she figured she’d better get it done earlier rather than later, because she had some other shopping to do. And because she and Tori now had evening plans.

The antique store was a place Jade had been familiar with since she was a teenager. Because a lot of items were on consignment, the prices varied; some of what they carried was actually valuable but the things that were more affordable made the place a great resource for unique costume and set pieces for Jade’s work in high school and film school. It was hard not to take a look around when she went in to pick up her order, even though she wasn’t shopping for anything in particular, because she was in the habit of keeping her eyes open for weird things. Like the coaster set with what looked like a very angry cat depicted on it. Or the taxidermied rattlesnake posed ready to strike.

But eventually, Jade made her way to the jewelry counter next to the register, where she showed the confirmation number on her PearPhone to the clerk so he could retrieve her mother’s Christmas present for her. While he was double-checking and collecting her order, Jade perused the jewelry on display, and then, she saw it.

And as soon as she saw it, she knew it was Tori’s.

When the clerk came back, though, she asked, “Can I see that ring?”

He nodded and pulled it out from the case, sliding it across the glass in its box so she could take a better look. It was an older ring--the tag on it said circa 1950--and it had a round gem, presumably a diamond (not that that was any kind of priority), set in a way that made it look squared off in the band. The gem was smaller than Jade’s but with the detailing on the band, the ring looked elegant. It was a much more streamlined look than Jade’s own prominent oval shaped gem, more subdued. More _Tori_ , who professed to be fine with the very basic ring she had. Jade still didn’t believe her, though. But it was true that while Jade was the kind of woman who apparently liked the way a conspicuous engagement ring drew attention (she’d been pleased to notice when the clerk had clocked it), Tori was a little more discreet, just in general.

 _Whatever_. The look was perfect, the price was reasonable, and even the silvery color of the band was similar enough to Jade’s that they almost looked like a matching set. If it fit Tori like a dream, the way Jade’s ring did, it would be unreal, but if not she’d gladly get it resized, of course. “I’ll take it,” she told the clerk.

Well. That took care of the other shopping she’d planned to do that morning.

-

While Jade was out, Tori had eaten breakfast and finished off the rest of the coffee and was presently trying to assess if it was pleasant enough outside to do yoga in the yard. The sun generally warmed the day to a comfortable degree, but it could feel rather chilly if it were breezy or overcast. She stood on the cold pavers on her backyard patio, assessing the air temperature and the wind, then stepped out onto the grass, letting the sun warm her. _Hmm_. Seemed like a nice enough day.

Hamster launched himself over the wall and trotted toward her, tail held high, and she reached down to pet him as he circled her legs. She made little kissing noises at him, encouraging him to follow her, and she attempted to introduce him to the little structure she’d set up on the far corner of her house, past the jacuzzi, but Hamster was more interested in following her hand so that she would pet him, and ignored it completely.

She heard Jade’s voice from the patio. “Tori? Are you out here?”

“Over here,” she called.

Jade strode across the grass, looking amused, “What in the world are you doing over here?”

“Trying to introduce Hamster to his cat house,” Tori replied.

Jade paused and took in the scene, which Tori supposed must look ridiculous: Tori, barefoot in pajamas, crouched next to a wooden rectangle with a hole cut into the side, Hamster purring and chasing her hand as she tried to guide him to the hole. “Okay, I did mean to ask about that. I noticed it last time I mowed the lawn.”

“It’s an outdoor cat shelter,” Tori replied, “It’s weatherproof, has a second exit in the back, and has a non-electric heating pad inside to keep him warm. I’ve been leaving treats in there but I haven’t seen him go inside of it.”

Jade watched her with a skeptical expression. “And you don’t have a cat,” she deadpanned.

“No, Hamster belongs to no one. But it can get cold at night in the winter, and I want him to have a safe place he can go to.”

“Tori, maybe he goes there at night. He doesn’t have much of a reason to go in there right now, not when you’re here petting him and feeding him,” Jade pointed out.

It was a good point. Tori sighed, “You’re right.”

“Or, maybe he goes into someone’s _house_ at night since you literally know nothing about this cat,” Jade smirked.

“I’ve talked to my neighbors about him. Besides, his ear is notched,” Tori pointed out, “That’s supposed to mean he’s a stray who’s been neutered.”

“And he’s friendly as hell,” Jade countered, “He’s sure not feral. You’re telling me you don’t think he could charm his way into any home on this block?”

Tori regarded the handsome tabby with the motor-like purr. “Maybe you’re right,” she sighed. She patted the cat house, feeling slightly silly. “I just wanted him to have the option.” She stood up.

Jade stepped closer, arms open to her, “Hey, he still might be using it,” she said as she drew Tori in for a hug while the cat wound around their legs. “I think it’s sweet that you thought of him.”

Tori chuckled against her shoulder, “Sweet, huh?”

Jade pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “You know, we could also take him to a vet to see if he’s microchipped. Then you might have your answer.”

But that was a lot to consider. Still, though she’d assumed that Hamster didn’t have an owner, she hadn’t considered the implications of that in terms of his health. “I’ll think about it. Did you get your mom’s present?”

“Mmhmm,” Jade hummed, letting her go. “I also have something to show you.”

“Ooh, what?” Tori asked, already intrigued.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hand,” Jade instructed.

Tori eyed her hesitantly, “I’m not going to regret this, am I?” She trusted Jade, absolutely, but she also knew who she was dealing with.

“I sure hope not,” Jade replied. So Tori did it, closing her eyes and holding out her right hand, palm up. Jade chuckled. “Other hand.” Tori raised her eyebrow and opened one eye, but closed it again at Jade’s sharp look, then held out her left hand.

She felt Jade’s fingers, warm and soft, against her hand, turning it over and then tugging at her star ring, sliding it off of her finger. “We already did this last night,” Tori quipped, “But if you need me to say yes again…”

“Shut up,” Jade chuckled, and Tori felt the ring sliding back onto her finger.

But it was different. It was a thinner ring, looser. Without waiting for Jade to instruct her, Tori opened her eyes, mouth dropping open at the sight of the engagement ring Jade had just put on her. “Jade, I told you--”

“Yeah, I know, but _I_ told _you_ I was getting you a real ring.”

But Tori wasn’t upset. In fact, she was elated. She’d never considered herself the kind of girl who cared about “the perfect ring,” maybe because the thought of an engagement or a wedding had seemed like a near impossibility for almost a decade. But looking at this now, Tori felt like her heart was in her throat, and she _couldn’t_ take her eyes off of it. “Jade,” she tried again.

“I know what you said before,” Jade started, sounding nervous, as if she thought Tori might actually be upset. “But I wanted to get you a ring that meant something. Like, something other than the fact that I believed in you ten years ago. Not that I don’t believe in you now. But what I mean is...you deserve to have a ring that’s just for _this_. Just about us and our love.”

Tori’s response was to kiss her, firmly, eagerly, joyfully. When she pulled away, she asked slyly, “Were you even picking up something for your mom this morning?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Jade replied, mock-aghast, “Not everything is about you, conceited.”

“Asshole,” Tori said warmly, kissing Jade again.

“Nerd,” Jade replied, resting her forehead against Tori’s.

They’d already planned to head over to the family house to break the news of the engagement, but Tori was now even more excited because she had this new ring on her finger (it was a little loose, so she’d slid her other ring in front of it, to keep it from flying off and rolling into a sewer grate or any other version of a romantic comedy moment). She and Jade were engaged, something she’d dreamed about when she was younger, something she’d seriously considered more recently, something that was now suddenly so tangible and real and she couldn’t wait to see the look on her mom's face when they told her. Her dad, too, though he was the less excitable of her parents.

Also, maybe Tori also felt a little vindicated that she was first, before Trina, to actually achieve this. Not that she knew if Trina even _wanted_ to get married. But it was impossible to ignore what felt like the thrill of a sibling rivalry victory.

Tori pulled the Subaru into the driveway, pulling off to the far side of it because someone else was parked right in the center.

"Oh good, my mom's here," Jade observed, eyeing the small sedan with the “ _only good vibes”_ sticker on the back.

Well, this was convenient. Jade and Tori linked hands as they walked toward the half-open garage door. "Hello?" Tori called before ducking down to enter the space, Jade following her.

In the garage were both of their mothers, huddled together at the workbench. There was the hiss of...some kind of power tool? But as Tori got a better look, she realized it was the sound of a butane torch because...her mom was heating up a glass dab rig. Oh god, her mother was _dabbing_? With Tiffany? Who even did that anymore?

That was something even Tori didn't do all that often, because it was such an intense and immediate high. Usually it was only reserved for Mary Jane specific events, like when she had to judge the wax category at the Cannabis Cup, and even then, the technology had advanced enough in the last few years that it could almost always be done with a specific style of vape pen instead of the classic bong-style device her mother was using.

"Oh, hi girls!" Tiffany said, cheerfully.

"Jesus, Mom, are you guys honestly getting blazed down here?" Jade asked.

"I'm just testing this batch," Holly explained, turning off the torch and beginning the process of stirring the cannabis concentrate in the small flat bowl of the glass rig. The wax began to vaporize and she quickly sucked the vapor in, the same way any stoned college student might take a hit from a traditional bong. But she stopped after consuming half and passed it to Tiffany, who did the same.

Jade looked squarely at Tori. "Are we really watching this?"

"At least we're in this together," Tori mused. Now both of their mothers were staring at them, looking stoned, but curious. "So, we came by to--"

"Hold on," Jade interrupted, taking the glass object out of her mother's hands and placing it on the workbench. "Okay, go ahead."

"Jade and I are--"

"Is that Grandma's ring?" Holly asked, eyes on Jade's left hand.

"If people would let me finish what I'm saying--"

Tiffany was already reaching for Jade, lifting her arm to look at the ring. "Oh, that's so pretty!"

"We're engaged!" Tori finally exclaimed. Jade shot her a look, one that could best be described as a loving smirk.

Holly's gaze slowly shifted from Jade's ring to Tori's hand, the one with the new ring on it, then she took in the sight of the two young women in front of her. "Oh my god," she said, her voice slightly scratchy from the weed but also breaking with emotion. "Oh my god. It finally happened. Oh my god, Tiffany. It finally happened."

Suddenly, Tiffany screamed, as if there had been a slight delay between Tori's announcement and the current moment. She grabbed Jade and pulled her in, hugging her tightly. But then that didn't seem to be enough, because she was reaching for Tori so she was hugging them both. "I'm so happy, right now," Tiffany said.

"That's because you took a huge bong rip like five seconds ago," Jade deadpanned.

"Oh, stop it," chastised Tiffany.

But they all laughed as they pulled apart, only to have Holly embrace them the same way. "You girls have no idea how long we've waited for this."

"Yeah, that seems to be a trend in this family," Jade said, adjusting the ring on her finger.

Holly put her hand to her chest. "My mom really, really wanted this to happen," she said, wistfully.

"Well, it's a good thing we do, too," Tori replied.

Jade nodded. "Yeah, otherwise we'd probably end up being haunted in that house all the time." There was something about the look in her eyes that told Tori there was a story brewing in Jade's storyteller brain.

-

The reality was that it wasn't a story in Jade's mind, it was a memory.

That night, the one when they'd admitted their feelings to each other, when they'd reconnected (on the kitchen counter and the living room floor), when they'd become _Tori and Jade_ again, it had been the weekend of that intense Santa Ana windstorm.

The "crazy making winds" that led to the power outage. The way Grandma Jean constantly referred to Tori and Jade being "crazy about each other." The way her funeral had brought them closer together, allowed them to lean on each other, to support one another. How she'd given Tori a ring over a decade ago, with specific instructions for it to be given to Jade.

Grandma Jean had believed in them so intensely that she'd left them a house, the foundation for a future that neither of them believed was possible until very recently. Jade wondered if their lives were being manipulated by the spirit of a stubborn woman who loved horror movies and watery citrus beer. If it was, she was glad the present situation was the result of it all. Not that she believed in ghosts. But, if she did.

She also felt like maybe she was getting a bit of a contact high from the haze in the garage.

Jade slipped her arm around Tori and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, which caused both of their mothers to sigh and make silly little noises. "We should go tell your dad," she said.

Tori agreed and they left their stoner moms to finish "testing" Holly's latest batch as they ascended the stairs up into the kitchen.

Upstairs, David was at the stove, cooking what looked like some kind of stew. He glanced over, but then his face registered surprise when he noticed who it was. “Not the Vega-West women I expected,” he joked.

“Hope you made plenty of whatever that is,” Tori replied.

“There should definitely be enough if you’re staying for dinner,” he replied warmly.

Tori glanced at Jade, who shrugged. Tori elaborated, “Sure, we’ll stay, but that’s not what I meant. Do you know Mom and Tiffany are _dabbing_ down there?”

As if on cue, peals of uproarious laughter echoed up the stairs from the garage. David made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sigh. “Testing the new batch, I know.” He eyed the stewpot warily. “I’ve got salad and bread to go with this, so there should be enough food.” He smiled at them both, “Any reason you dropped by? Forget something in the room upstairs, Toro?”

“No, actually,” Tori replied, “We just have something to tell you.”

David nodded solemnly as he turned to give them his full attention. “All right. Hit me with it.”

Beside her, Tori hesitated. Probably for dramatic effect. _Actresses_. So Jade just went ahead and announced, “We’re engaged.”

Whatever David had been expecting to hear, it clearly wasn’t this, because the undisguised astonishment on his face was easy to read. “Really?” he asked, voice quiet with awe.

“Yep,” Tori confirmed, holding out her left hand. “I gave Jade Grandma’s ring and everything.” Jade showed him her own hand to confirm.

As he surveyed both rings, Jade saw him blinking rapidly and was surprised to realize that he was crying. “They’re beautiful,” he managed thickly.

Jade didn’t know what to do. She’d never seen her own father cry--she wasn’t sure he had the emotional range to do so. It wasn’t exactly common for other men in her life; Beck had never cried outside of a role. She thought her brother had shed a few tears at Grandma Jean’s funeral, which at the time was a bit of a relief because it confirmed that her brother wasn’t emotionally stunted like their dad. But as welcoming and paternal as David had always been to her, this was a new kind of emotionality.

Evidently, Tori was having a similar reaction, because she seemed frozen, gazing at her father in concern. She glanced at Jade once while David swiped a hand under his eyes.

“Dad?” she finally asked tentatively.

“Sorry,” David’s throat sounded tight, “I’m just...I’m so happy for you both. My girls are getting married!” And with that, he grabbed them both in a big bear hug as he half-laughed, half-cried in their ears.

“What did Dad just say?” came Trina’s voice from the stairs. Jade, crushed against David’s shoulder, couldn’t see her, but she heard her footfalls stop, maybe somewhere over by the piano. “Dad. Are you _crying_?” Trina sounded truly disturbed.

David let go of Tori and Jade and stood back to wipe at his face again. “Yes,” he replied, unashamed, “Trina, honey, Tori and Jade are getting married!” he announced for them.

Jade braced herself for the typical knee-jerk reaction of Trina being mocking or jealous as Trina stood staring incredulously for a moment. “Not uh. No way,” Trina said flatly, then she screamed, “Oh my god!” and launched herself across the room at them.

She tackled Tori first, who let out an audible _oomph_ as she held onto her sister, and then Trina grabbed onto Jade, who was beginning to reach her limit on hugs from people who weren’t Tori, as much as she loved said people. “Yep, engaged,” Jade confirmed as Trina tried to squeeze the breath out of her.

“You are both so stupid!” Trina burst out, “Ugh! I love you but you’re idiots. God! _Engaged_!” Her tone was fierce, but she seemed happy.

“Engaged,” Tori echoed Jade, not seeming to know how to react to her sister. She glanced at her dad, “Okay, we’ll stay for dinner,” she said, “ _If_ we can all agree to talk about _anything_ other than our engagement. It just happened, there’s nothing else to say about it yet.”

David nodded in agreement, and Trina sounded exactly like her normal self as she drawled, “Fine by me. There are plenty of better topics.” But then a smile bloomed over her face. “I have to make a phone call.” And she was hurrying upstairs.

David turned back to the stew and stirred it, then turned down the heat. “I’ll keep this simmering. Want to tell your moms dinner in ten minutes? Might take them that long to make it up here.”

They enjoyed a family dinner in which everyone was mostly able to keep from asking too many questions about a brand-new engagement, but the beaming smiles and air of excitement persisted all through the meal. All in all, it made Jade happy to be a part of such a supportive, loving family.

And it made her completely forget about the question of telling her own father. There was nothing he could offer her that she hadn’t already gotten from the rest of these crazy, wonderful people.

-

**@ToriVega is in a relationship with @JadeWest**

Tori studied the screencap she’d taken of an old status from The Slap, then cropped it down to what she needed before using the PhotoButler app to lay the image where she wanted it over a new photo of her hand next to Jade’s, both of their engagement rings showing. She’d been trying to think of an inventive way to drop the news on their friends and had settled on this, a nice callback to when they’d first started officially dating.

Meanwhile, Jade was tucked up on the opposite end of the living room couch, her eyes focused on her PearPad as she intensely swiped and tapped her screen.

“What are you doing over there?” Tori finally asked.

“Working on our engagement announcement,” Jade replied.

“Wait, so am I.” Tori tried to sneak a peek at Jade’s PearPad, but Jade smirked and held it against her chest. “I thought that’s why we took the picture of our rings.”

Jade’s eyes were still on her PearPad screen. “Well, I thought of something better.”

Tori scooted closer to Jade, but the tablet was kept out of reach to the point that Tori had herself stretched across Jade's body, but Jade held the PearPad high above her head. "Show me," demanded Tori, her tone up against the line of Mistress Tawny.

"Kiss me, first," Jade decided, arm still outstretched to keep the device out of reach.

Tori felt her lips twist into a smirk, then soften into a smile. Despite the time she'd put in over the years to perfect her dominant presence, there was just something about Jade West. "Fine, but only because I want to," Tori said, echoing a phrase that had bounced between them probably a thousand times. She pressed her lips to Jade's, one arm snaking around the warm body against her, the other carefully creeping up the arm extended over Jade's head.

"I know what you're up to," Jade mumbled.

"So," Tori dragged her lips across Jade's jaw, "just," then pressed kisses to her exposed neck, "show me."

Jade's breath hitched and her arm lowered. "Okay, but only because my arm was getting tired," she insisted.

Tori chuckled and grazed her lips over Jade's ear, grinning at the groan it elicited. Then she shifted, twisting so she could see the screen of the tablet. Jade tapped the screen and a video began to play.

It was a clip from the haunted house, specifically of Tori screaming when Jade popped out with her scare. Then, mid scream, the image froze and text filled the screen:

**Fortunately, this isn't how she reacted when I asked her to marry me.**

"Jade!" Tori propped herself up to glare at the woman beneath her.

"Well, it's true."

Tori tried to hold her intense look, but as Jade's eyebrow crept upward, she felt herself giving into laughter.

They decided to post both, each to their respective accounts, and waited for the replies.

It was the afternoon, bordering on into the evening, but Tori hadn’t started anything for dinner yet. She was too busy being pressed up against Jade on the couch, trading kisses and laughing as the responses rolled in, both of them pleased with the reactions, as predictable as they were.

Such as when Tori read Robbie’s comment and sighed in exasperation. “Well, Robbie says he thought we already got together a while ago.”

But just as Jade shook her head, rolling her eyes, her phone buzzed in her hand, and she cracked a smile. “Well, over on my post he said, ‘oh NOW I get it.’” She grinned at Tori, “Guess that’s a point in my favor.”

“There is nothing unclear about my post! What did he think the rings were?”

“It’s Robbie. What does he think anything is?”

“Good point.” Tori leaned over to keep kissing Jade, who tugged her closer, hand slipping beneath the hem of her sweater to run over the skin of her lower back. The buzzing of Jade’s phone eventually interrupted them, but the interruptions were part of the excitement of the evening, so neither of them minded.

Jade lifted her phone. “That’s just my brother,” she reported, “I texted him before I posted anything just to say that in case Mom hadn’t told him, you and I were engaged.”

“What did he say?”

In answer, Jade showed Tori her phone.

“And then he said, ‘this is about you, not me,’” Jade reported.

Tori was already laughing, though, and checked her Spectrogram post again. “Andre said, ‘no surprises here, congratulations,’ with the champagne glasses emoji.”

“Got a crying laughing emoji from him on my end,” Jade said triumphantly.

And then a text from Andre pushed through for Tori.

**Jade proposed to you?**

**Didn’t think she had it in her!**

**Congratulations!!**

Tori tried to hide her smirk, but Jade noticed, of course. “What?” Jade wanted to know.

“Andre was just surprised you proposed to me.”

“Why?” Jade frowned.

“Because he never dated you, so he doesn’t know what a romantic softie you are.”

Jade shot her a severe look, but then looked down at her own phone and chuckled. “Gossip slut Beck says, ‘oh my god, tell me everything.’”

While Jade sat composing a reply to him, Tori saw that Beck posted heart eyes emojis and a thumbs up on their Spectrogram posts, and Trina had posted eye-rolling emojis on both their posts, too, which was exactly what she was expecting. Trina being excited for them about anything could never last long.

But Tori realized that they hadn’t heard anything from Sam or Cat. Which wasn’t exactly an issue. Probably they just hadn’t checked Spectrogram yet. It had only been an hour or so between all the kisses and fielding the comments. Tori was about to suggest to Jade that maybe the two of them were too busy having sex to even know they were engaged yet, when she heard the rumble of what sounded like a motorcycle outside.

“Is that…” Tori got up from the couch, and Jade watched curiously as she peeked out the front window. “Sam and Cat are here,” she reported, “Did they say anything to you?”

“Nope,” Jade shook her head, standing up herself.

Tori opened the front door, “Um, hi?” she greeted.

“Hey, Tori!” Cat called excitedly as she took off her helmet, “Congratulations!”

“Not that we don’t love to see you, but why are you guys here?” Jade asked, coming up behind Tori.

“We brought Chinese food!” Cat replied, as if this was a normal answer.

“You...brought us food? For our engagement?”

“Well, sort of,” Cat shrugged, “I wanted to bring you guys a cake, but we already know I can’t transport a cake by motorcycle. But Sam was hungry, anyway, so we stopped for food and brought enough for everybody!”

“Cat wanted to come see you guys in person to celebrate,” Sam reported, taking the backpack off of Cat’s back so she could run to the door to greet Tori and Jade with hugs. “I told her you guys were probably boning, but…”

Tori laughed, “Not...currently. Come in, we’re glad to see you.”

“I’ll be right back,” Jade mumbled.

“Don’t even bother with the bra, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before!” Sam called after her, unzipping the backpack and inhaling the smell of Chinese food happily as she headed toward the dining room table.

“Anyway, congratulations! We’re so thrilled for you,” Cat chirped.

“Cat never got to do any of the typical stuff when we got married, so she’s ready to go all out for you two,” Sam informed Tori.

Tori was touched, and her stomach grumbled eagerly at the prospect of Chinese food, so she certainly was pleased to see her friends. She pulled down plates and glasses so they could all take a seat around the table and dish out Chinese food. Jade was back in moments, boobs constrained by a bra, in time to help Tori get the water pitcher ready to bring to the table.

Sam and Cat had brought an assortment of dishes--there was no doubt Sam was hungry when they’d ordered--but there was still plenty of food for all four of them. Cat asked how it had happened, so between bites, she and Jade traded off telling the story of going to their overlook to watch their “Hello, Future Me” projects, Jade taking Tori’s ring and tricking her, then proposing, Tori bringing out Grandma Jean’s ring when they got home, and Jade finding Tori’s ring yesterday morning (which she was dropping off to be resized the next day).

“That’s so cute,” Cat beamed at them.

“Disgustingly so,” Sam agreed, “You two are adorably traditional.”

Tori frowned, ready to fire back, but it was Jade who replied, “Not in the bedroom,” with a blush.

Cat smiled slyly, and Sam laughed at this, “Who is, really? They’re the real freaks if you ask me.”

Tori felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she pulled it out to see she got another comment on Spectrogram, and felt her own blush spread over her face as she realized it was from Carly, who was congratulating her with genuine excitement, complete with _omg_ s, exclamation points, and various smiling emojis.

“What?” Jade asked, probably noting her expression.

“Nothing,” Tori said quickly.

“Carly congratulated her on Spectrogram!” Cat announced, making Tori inwardly winced.

“You mean Carly of _iCarly_?” Sam teased, and immediately, Sam’s PearPhone was in her hand, snapping a picture of Tori’s face.

“Hey!” Tori cried.

“‘Your biggest fan just saw your comment,’” Sam narrated in a monotone voice as she texted on her phone, “‘Also, why are you awake, it’s like three in the morning there?’”

Tori groaned, but it was playful. “There, there,” Jade said sarcastically as she patted her shoulder. “At least it won’t be any surprise to her when she moves here that you _still_ all trip over yourself when she’s around.”

“I hate you guys,” Tori mumbled into her palms.

“That’s right, she was at a Christmas party,” Sam informed them, “Just got home and saw the news.” A grin stretched over her face, “I’m so glad I was here for this moment. And she’s glad I captured it,” she teased.

Tori kept her face hidden, but she was smiling. Nothing could possibly spoil the happiness she felt in this moment, even the knowledge that she was never living down a decade old crush. Because at least _one_ of her decade old crushes was leading to marriage.

-

When Tori initially told her about the event, Jade had balked a little.

“We’re going to _what_?”

“A Christmas munch,” Tori repeated. At Jade’s continued blank look, Tori shook her head. “Come on, we talked about this. A munch is a social event for kinky people to get together and have fun without the expectations of roles and play.” Tori smirked, “Well, _mostly_ without. We tend to have a little consensual fun when it comes to Christmas.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Jade asked.

“It just means that maybe Santa will show up and decide who is naughty or nice,” Tori said playfully.

“Santa. At a Christmas _munch_.”

“Sure. She might even be someone you recognize.”

“ _She_?”

“It’s 2025. Santa can be _any_ gender.”

“Oh, god, you’re Santa, aren’t you?” Jade guessed.

Tori laughed, “Oh, no. It’s not me.”

“Mistress Tawny, then?”

“Not her either.”

Jade sighed. It occurred to her in that moment that she would _probably_ be accompanying Mistress Tawny to this kinky event and not Tori. It produced a little thrum of apprehension in her belly. “What am I even supposed to wear to a kinky Christmas munch?”

“It’s a Christmas party, Jade. Wear what you’d wear to a Christmas party. Chest harnesses are not required.”

“Oh, god, will people be wearing chest harnesses?”

“Probably not, but who knows?” Tori shrugged.

By the time the evening of the Christmas munch rolled around, during the week leading up to Christmas, Jade at least knew what she was going to wear. She had selected a deep green long-sleeved dress that displayed a lot of cleavage (naturally) paired with tall black boots.

Because these weren’t exactly clothes that were in her normal rotation, they were in the guest house, so Jade dressed there before heading across the patio and into the house. She found Tori in the bedroom, in front of her mirror, adjusting a pink and black Santa hat on her head. She was wearing a pink and black tuxedo, cut in a way that left much of the skin of her chest exposed--maybe not quite as cleavage-y as what Jade wore, but certainly flattering. She wore her contacts, heeled boots, and her hair was pulled back, but, perhaps because she was wearing a Santa hat, she didn’t seem to be wearing bangs.

But still. There was no doubt that this was an evening for Mistress Tawny, and the dominatrix turned to give Jade a sly smile that faltered when she caught sight of Jade’s cleavage and her jaw went a little slack. “You alright there, _Ma’am_?” Jade teased.

Tori’s expression cleared and she met Jade’s eyes, smile returning. “You look great. Hold on, I have the perfect thing…” And she offered Jade a green and white Santa hat.

“Oh, my god,” Jade mumbled, but she put it on. “There. Do I look ready for kinky Christmas?”

“You sure do,” Tori smiled.

They got into Tori’s car and started toward the event. All Jade knew was that food and drinks were being provided, but she realized she didn’t actually know where they were going. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“Gina’s Italian,” Tori replied.

“Oh. Huh.” Jade tried to wrap her mind around a kink event occurring in the banquet room of a restaurant, even if it was more of a social event than anything. Then she realized why she recognized the name. “Wait, is this Mrs. Lee’s restaurant?”

Tori nodded, “Yep, this is her Italian place.”

“Weird.” Jade was quiet for a moment, ruminating on the possibilities of what the night would bring. A Christmas party as Mistress Tawny’s date, at the restaurant owned by the woman whose daughter she and Tori hung from the ceiling for several hours fifteen years ago, but who was now one of her _clients_ …

But despite the contacts and the boots and the tuxedo, it didn’t feel much like Mistress Tawny when they parked and got out of the car and Jade found herself being invited to tuck her arm through one of The Mistress’s. “You ready for this?” she asked, her voice gentle in a way that also didn’t match the stern authority she’d mostly heard from Mistress Tawny in the past.

She looked at her and saw Tori’s smile, compassionate and slightly goofy, and it made Jade smile back. “I’m ready.”

They were directed to the banquet room, and, standing at her full height and with the confident gait of a woman in charge, Mistress Tawny guided them through the doors and into the space. They immediately attracted a lot of attention, and people called out greetings to The Mistress, but it was Patrice and another strikingly attractive woman in a suit who actually approached.

“So good to see you,” Patrice greeted Mistress Tawny with a hug, then turned her smile to Jade, “And you, Jade, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Thank you,” Jade replied, offering her hand, since she wasn’t quite sure she wanted a hug from Patrice. Patrice took her hand and grinned, giving her a lingering handshake.

“Have you met Janet?” Mistress Tawny asked, indicating the other woman.

“I haven’t, no,” Jade replied, shifting her gaze to her.

“Janet,” she greeted, offering Jade a firmer handshake than the one Patrice had given her, “Patrice’s partner in life.”

“Right,” Jade nodded, “Nice to meet you.” There was something disarmingly charming about the other woman, which was good, because otherwise Jade was pretty sure she would be fixated on all the threesomes Tori had had with this other couple, which, _okay_ , seeing _both_ of them gave her kind of a nice mental picture, but she was pretty sure dwelling on it would only lead to jealousy.

“I’m going to have to steal Mistress Tawny for a moment,” Patrice said with a smirk, “As we’ll be officially kicking off the event soon enough. But feel free to grab some appetizers or a drink.”

“Uh, okay,” Jade replied, glancing uncertainly at Mistress Tawny, who flashed her another very Tori-like grin and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Don’t worry,” Janet said as Patrice and Mistress Tawny walked away, “You can stick with me. Is this your first kink event?”

“Technically, no,” Jade replied, following Janet as they picked up plates at the appetizer spread, “I was hired to photograph the Fet Ball back in July.”

“That’s right, I heard about that,” Janet replied.

“You did?” But then Jade figured it wasn’t _that_ much of a surprise, if this was Patrice’s primary partner and also Tori’s friend. That night had probably been pretty intense for Tori, since it was the night that Jade discovered perhaps her biggest secret. “It was quite an experience.”

“It always is,” Janet grinned, loading her plate with fresh mozzarella balls. “You want to have a drink? I know the bartender has a couple of other duties tonight, so we should catch him while we can.”

“Sure,” Jade agreed.

In moments, she and Janet were sitting at a table together, with plates of appetizers and a Birra Moretti (Jade) and a glass of chianti (Janet) in front of them. They focused on their food at first, but before they could even really start chatting more, Jade straightened up in her seat, because she noticed Mistress Tawny had walked onto the small stage area in front of all the tables.

“Good evening, everyone,” she addressed the crowd.

Jade was expecting something like what happened at the Fet Ball to occur, a messy response that would prompt Mistress Tawny to demand that they all do better, but the response was instead a rather uniform, “Good evening!” from the group.

Mistress Tawny smiled, pleased. “For those of you who might not know me, I am Mistress Tawny Swain.”

Beside her, Janet scoffed, and someone in the crowd called out, “We love you, Mistress Tawny!”

Mistress Tawny shot them a glare, but it was playful, “Okay, I probably don’t need to introduce myself so formally,” she conceded. “Anyway, welcome to our annual Christmas munch! We’re so pleased to have you all, we hope you’re enjoying the food and the beverages. And there’s still time to purchase tickets for our Kinky Christmas Toy Raffle! Most of you already bought raffle tickets through the link on your invitation, but if you haven’t had a chance to yet, please go see Brittany,” she indicated toward a woman who was seated at a nearby table, who waved, “And she’ll set you up with however many raffle tickets your heart desires, right Brittany?” Brittany nodded eagerly, flashing a grin. “She’s really a _very_ good girl, so don’t be shy,” Mistress Tawny purred.

Brittany visibly blushed and the room filled with the excited sounds of titters and murmurs for a moment before quieting. Jade watched the way Mistress Tawny eyed the room, smirking, and felt like she, along with everyone else, was absolutely under her sway.

“And with that, we’re going to give you all some time to make sure you have as many raffle tickets as you need, so, eat up and drink up, everybody! The night is just getting started.” And with that, Mistress Tawny stepped off the little stage and headed over to the buffet table herself.

Within moments, she was joining Jade and Janet at their little table, settling in next to Jade and smiling at her adoringly, “You two behaving?” she asked playfully.

“No, we’re plotting how to rig the raffle so we win all the toys,” Janet deadpanned.

“I didn’t know there even _was_ a raffle,” Jade admitted, “Though I really don’t think we need any more sex toys.”

Tori nodded her agreement--or, Mistress Tawny did--but Janet laughed, making heat flare on Jade’s cheeks. “What a problem to have.”

“Please, like I haven’t seen your spare bedroom,” Mistress Tawny drawled back at her.

“You should see it now,” Janet shot back, “It’s been quite a few years.”

“Maybe you should stop by the Fungeon sometime,” Mistress Tawny teased back, faux casual.

“Touche,” Janet lifted her glass of wine to Mistress Tawny, who smiled victoriously and lifted her own beverage (soda and lime) back at her.

“Well, this isn’t awkward,” Jade mumbled.

“Sorry,” Janet looked a bit chagrined.

“No, don’t be,” Jade decided, though she reached her left hand over to poke Tori in the thigh, prompting her to give Jade’s hand a reassuring squeeze. But then Jade noticed it was two squeezes, a check in. Jade squeezed back twice. “I’m honestly fine,” she reassured them both, and as she said it, she realized she was.

“Good,” Janet replied, “Last thing I’d want to do was scare you off from the kink scene.”

Tori laughed, a familiar sound, not the provocative laughter of Mistress Tawny. “Not much scares Jade, to be honest.”

“That makes sense, given her movie,” Janet replied.

Jade was oddly flattered, “You’ve seen it?”

“Of course. It was such a unique take on the genre.”

But just as they were starting to really talk about _Not My Problem_ in more detail, Mistress Tawny was checking her phone with a frown. “Everything okay?” Jade asked.

“It’s just Patrice. She says it’s time to do the raffle.”

“Oh, okay,” Jade said, realizing that meant her date was about to disappear again.

“But she can wait,” Mistress Tawny said decisively, “Because I want to finish my food first.”

“Oh, she’ll _love_ that,” Janet muttered.

“She’ll live,” Mistress Tawny replied succinctly. They continued to discuss _Not My Problem_ while Mistress Tawny finished the appetizers on her plate, but after she pushed her plate away, Jade felt certain it was Tori who leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek. Jade felt herself grin like an idiot at the contact, and then Tori murmured, “Back in a bit,” as she got up to take the stage once more.

The smile Janet wore as she regarded Jade told her she looked just as giddy as she felt.

“All right,” Mistress Tawny addressed the room, “It looks like everybody had time to stock up on raffle tickets, so let’s start! If you could all make sure you have your ticket numbers easily accessible. But first, I have a friend who would like to say something.”

Jade was expecting this to be Patrice’s introduction, but instead, Tori turned away and took off her Santa hat, then took down her hair. When she turned around, she was wearing a pair of glasses. She looked around for a moment, clearly disoriented because she also had her contacts in, then pushed them down her nose so she could look over the top of them.

“Hi,” she said, her voice softer and smoother, “I’m The Pleasure Professor.”

The room burst into applause, and The Pleasure Professor tried to hide her grin. Janet leaned over and touched Jade’s arm, “Aww, that’s yours,” she cooed teasingly.

And she _was_ Jade’s. And Jade had the ring on her finger to prove it. She laughed at Janet’s statement, but her eyes were still on Tori, as The Pleasure Professor, as she stood onstage and began to talk about the nonprofit the proceeds from the sex toy raffle were benefitting (one that made it their mission to put comprehensive sex education in all public schools). But Jade wasn’t listening so much as taking in the woman onstage. The way she’d effortlessly switched from Mistress Tawny to The Pleasure Professor, the way even her posture changed, her face changed, between the personas.

But when the Pleasure Professor was finished talking, she turned around, and quickly pulled her hair back again, and when she turned around, she was Mistress Tawny, giving the room a smug smile as they applauded her. And that was when it really sank in for Jade that yes, Mistress Tawny and The Pleasure Professor were personas, but they were just _Tori_. More than personas, they were _roles_ , and Jade was watching Tori as a performer. The same Tori who embodied the physicality of Walter Swain. The same Tori who tapped into the loneliness of the Ghost Woman in Jade’s semester project play. The same Tori who had put herself out there for an audition for a short run series at twenty and had gotten discovered in one of those one in a million moments people dreamed of.

Tori was a _performer_. Jade had always known that, of course, but it really struck her now that it wasn’t that she was on a date with Mistress Tawny. She was here with Tori, who was playing a part for the spectators, but was _hers_.

The swell of love Jade felt was intense, and her eyes barely left Tori during the entire raffle, even as she and Janet poked fun at the some of the toys being given away (the wheel of tongues was a crowd favorite). But when the last toy had been raffled off, Tori thanked everyone for participating and, just before she lost everyone’s attention, she paused, eyes lifting as if she heard something, hand cupping around her ear. “What’s that?” she asked no one. “Oh, do you hear that?” she asked again, then grinned broadly at the attentive audience. “I hear the sound of jingling bells and reindeer on the rooftops! Kinksters of all genders, _I think Santa is here_!”

And _that_ turned out to be the introduction to Patrice that Jade had been expecting earlier, because with a boisterous, “ _Ho, ho, ho_!” Patrice came marching into the room in a Santa suit complete with a large beard, holding reins that attached to the bindings of four individuals dressed as reindeer who followed behind her (Jade guessed that in Kink-land, Top-Santa led the reindeer, or something). She recognized a few of them, mostly Nathaniel, who was first in line with a blinking red nose strapped to his face.

As the room swelled with applause and laughter, Jade leaned over to Janet, “Aww, _that’s_ yours,” she teased.

Janet was shaking her head, but grinning, “She sure is.”

Patrice joined Tori on the stage, passing the reins off to her without a word or even a glance. Jade watched as the reindeer lined up onstage and then, at a single look from Tori, dropped to all fours in unison. But it was Patrice who stood front and center onstage, regarding all of them with smiling eyes.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Patrice said again, “Now, before we begin, because I know you’re all _dying_ to know whether you’re naughty or nice this year…” she trailed off, letting the room giggle excitedly, “I have a _very_ special announcement. Now, you all know our very own Mistress Tawny Swain, also known as The Pleasure Professor, and many other names besides. Well, Mistress Tawny has recently become engaged!” There were scattered gasps and murmurs and cheers throughout the room. “That’s right, folks, Mistress Tawny is _off_ the market,” Patrice teased, “Because she’s doing that monogamy thing, but don’t judge her, because I think when you see the woman she’s doing it with, you’ll understand. If you haven’t already found yourself looking at her all evening,” she shot a wink at Jade, who felt her face grow warm. She glanced behind Patrice at Tori, who looked like she was struggling to keep from breaking into a big, ridiculous Tori Vega grin, and was half hiding her face with the hand not holding the reins. “So please join me in congratulating The Mistress on her engagement!”

Patrice turned, applauding, and Tori sheepishly waved at the crowd, then her eyes met Jade’s, and just beamed, shaking her head at the display Patrice had arranged.

“Now,” Patrice drawled, “Anyone who wants to come up for their Naughty or Nice Christmas Spanking...now is the time,” Patrice flashed a grin, pulling a Christmas tree-shaped paddle out of the pocket of her Santa suit.

Janet was already standing up, “Come on,” she urged Jade.

“...What?” Jade asked, still processing what Patrice had said.

“Come on, let’s go get our Christmas spankings! Plus, your _lovely_ fiancee is up there waiting for you.” She grinned, eyes falling to Jade’s hand. “As if I hadn’t already noticed that rock. You two are adorable.”

But Jade was still stuck on the, “ _Christmas_ spankings?”

“She won’t hit you hard, it’s all in good fun,” Janet assured her, and Jade followed her, and the rest of the crowd, to the front, where apparently each person who wanted a spanking would bend over, resting their weight on a kneeling reindeer, and Patrice-Santa would go down the line, delivering a light smack with the paddle to each displayed backside, pronouncing them...well, _naughty_ , mostly. Only a couple of folks had been deemed _nice_ , though they still got spanked.

Jade was reluctant, but intrigued, and she looked to Tori, who smirked and nodded encouragingly to her. And really, it kind of felt nice to participate as Jade bent over the reindeer next to Janet, waiting breathlessly for Santa to come back down the line. Jade was pronounced “ _Very naughty_ ,” before being lightly slapped with the paddle, which really _shouldn’t_ have made her blush, but did, while next to her, Janet was deemed, “So naughty she needs an extra spanking,” and was granted two, much to her obvious delight.

They stepped away and Jade moved over to Tori, who slipped her free hand around Jade’s waist. “Have fun?” she asked slyly.

“Mmhmm,” Jade replied, kissing her on the cheek. “Aren’t you going to go get your Christmas spanking from _Santa_?” she teased.

Tori laughed, “Oh, god no, I got enough of those from her about five years ago,” she said simply.

They stood together, enjoying their closeness, and watching in delight and amusement as the last several groups of people came through to get spankings (including one person who Patrice called out for coming through the line four times, saying, “You want any more spankings from me and we’ll have to sit down and negotiate a scene!”).

“Thank you to everyone, naughty and nice!” Patrice called when the spankings were over. “Maybe a little later, you all can sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas,” she wiggled her eyebrows, but then she turned to one of the reindeer. “Dasher! I need you back at the bar,” she declared.

Jade realized then that’s why she recognized him--he was the bartender. She guessed that’s what Janet had meant about his multiple duties of the night. All four reindeer stood up in unison again, and this time Patrice freed Dasher from his restraints and he headed to the bar, then she took the reins back from Tori.

“I could use another soda and lime,” Tori said, “You need anything?” she asked Jade.

Jade considered, but Patrice answered right away, “I could use a gin and tonic now that the spankings are over,” she grinned.

Tori rolled her eyes, “I _definitely_ wasn’t asking you, but sure.”

“Thank you,” Patrice drawled after them as Jade followed Tori over to the bar. She decided to get a second beer, but since Tori was driving, she wasn’t drinking.

They found Patrice at the table Jade and Janet had been using, sitting in a chair with Janet on her lap, whispering things that were undoubtedly filthy with the way Patrice was grinning. Tori handed Patrice her drink and then drew Jade away to give the two some privacy. Though, Jade wondered how effective it was, given that others seemed to be hovering nearby, waiting for their turn on Santa’s lap.

She stuck close to Tori for a while as they mingled. Everyone seemed to know her, which wasn’t surprising, and they fielded a lot of congratulatory remarks. As people drank more, some of their questions got a little bolder--people asking if Mistress Tawny was _sure_ she wanted to be monogamous, people asking if she would still come play at parties, but Tori handled it all so smoothly that Jade’s hackles didn’t even rise. She just stood next to her respected, kind-of-famous dominatrix/sex educator of a partner (who was incidentally the most gorgeous woman in the room) and basked in the attention they shared.

Including some attention from someone Jade had expected to see all evening, considering where they were.

Mrs. Lee approached them in the crowd, grinning broadly, “Mistress Tawny! Congratulations!” she declared happily, then her gaze shifted over to Jade, “Oooh, and you’re marrying Jade West! Such a talented filmmaker.”

She was really laying it on thick. “Yes, thank you,” Jade replied, groping for something to say, “I love your restaurant. The appetizer spread is amazing.”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” Mrs. Lee waved her off, “You should see my celebrity wall! So many more pictures since I first met you two!”

Jade half-expected Mrs. Lee to bring up what had happened to her daughter...but it wasn’t forthcoming. Instead, she was beaming at the two of them, “Wow,” Jade replied. She could see Tori’s mouth twitching as she watched Jade try to converse with Mrs. Lee.

“And now, look at you!” Mrs. Lee gestured between them, “Engaged! Mistress Tawny and her fiancee who went to Sundance! Can I get a picture?” She handed her phone off to someone next to her and wedged herself between them. “You know, I used to have a picture of you two! From many years ago. It disappeared one day. Never did figure out what happened to it.”

“That’s _so strange_ ,” Jade said with exaggerated puzzlement. She could feel Tori shaking with silent laughter and she knew they would both, at least, be smiling genuine smiles for the picture with Mrs. Lee, even if it was for the sake of their own private joke.

“Yes!” Mrs. Lee cheered as she took her phone back from the person who’d taken the picture, “Another famous celebrity couple! Woo hoo!” And she strolled away from them back toward the kitchen.

Jade stared after her. “She’s _really_ one of your clients?” she asked.

Tori just laughed, “She really is. She’s been good to me.” But before Jade could ask about that, someone else was approaching them, eager to offer their congratulations and meet the woman Mistress Tawny was marrying.

But by the time Jade finished her second beer--which she’d nursed--Nathaniel drew Tori away to talk to her about something regarding the event, and Jade found herself feeling uncertain in a room full of near-strangers. She spotted Janet across the room, talking to another woman in a way that looked _very_ intimate (she had to remind herself that Patrice and Janet were poly before she had a knee-jerk judgemental reaction), but then she turned and there was Patrice, a half-empty gin and tonic (her second, Jade was pretty sure) in her hand, smiling warmly at Jade, her Santa beard pulled down to rest under her chin.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Patrice said, smiling in a lopsided way that told Jade she was feeling her gin.

“You kind of already said that. You know, in front of everyone?”

Patrice laughed, “Yeah, but that was mostly for Tori. I wanted to do the same for you.” Her eyes dropped to Jade’s hand. “May I see it?” she asked.

“Sure,” Jade replied, lifting her left hand to show off Grandma Jean’s engagement ring.

“It’s beautiful,” Patrice said softly.

“It belonged to Tori’s grandma,” Jade explained.

She saw the flicker of tenderness pass over Patrice’s face. “I never did get to meet her,” she said wistfully, letting go of Jade’s hand. “But Tori talked about her a lot, and she sounded amazing.”

“She was,” Jade said simply, “She was my friend for a long time.”

Patrice nodded, “Not really a surprise. I have met some of Tori’s family. I’ve known her mom for years, even if we’re not close, and her parents are really lovely people.”

“They are,” Jade agreed, “They’ve been my family, too, since Tori and I dated the first time.”

Patrice smiled at this. “Then I guess you know exactly what you’re getting into.”

Jade chuckled, “Sure do. And I have no doubt that it’s absolutely what I want.”

Patrice’s expression turned serious, and Jade braced herself a little, wondering what Tori’s former lover might be about to confess or declare. But what Patrice said was, “I just want you to know, Jade, that I’m really, _really_ happy for you both. You know, in spite of the crack about monogamy I made,” she grinned ruefully, “I’m very much in favor of this. I don’t know how much you know about Tori’s history, but I can tell you that...you’re the first person Tori has ever brought to an event like this. And I know it’s been hard for her. I know she’s wanted to fall in love again. And seeing her like this…” Patrice gestured, and Jade turned enough to see Tori, who was now talking to Nathaniel and Brittany and a couple of other people and laughing, animated and joyful. “In spite of how I once felt about Tori...no, that’s not right. Maybe _because_ of it. Oh, hell, Tori’s my friend, and I like you a lot, too, Jade, and I’m so thrilled for you. More than you know.”

“Thank you,” Jade replied, truly touched. She and Patrice shared a smile and then they both went back to watching Tori for a moment.

Jade felt her heart swell with love at the sight of her, and thought about what Patrice had said. And then, as if her brain suddenly, _finally_ processed it, Jade remembered something Tori had expressed, a few weeks before. _I’ve never explored kink before with someone I’m in love with_.

The impact of it caught Jade by surprise, even though she’d certainly heard Tori say it the first time. But being here, with Patrice, who had fallen for Tori, maybe even loved her, but it hadn’t been reciprocated, _knowing_ how their engagement was being received and how long Tori had wanted something like this, it hit Jade with an intensity she wasn’t expecting, to know that in some ways, in all of this, she was getting to be something very special for Tori. Someone she got to explore with in new ways, enhanced by the love they shared. Jade felt very grateful and unbelievably lucky.

“I think they’re done talking business over there,” Patrice observed, “If you want to go to her.”

“Yeah. I really, really do,” Jade replied.

Patrice grinned at her, and Jade approached the cluster of people around her fiancee, who caught her eye with a broad grin, “Here she is,” Tori grinned, reaching for Jade and drawing her to her side. “I missed you all the way over there with Patrice,” she chuckled, kissing Jade’s cheek.

“Congratulations,” Nathaniel told Jade with a genuine smile.

“Thank you,” Jade replied.

“Oh, can I see your ring?” Brittany gushed.

They spent a few minutes chatting with the group, but when they drew away on their own, Tori smiled at Jade, “How are you doing at your first munch?” she asked.

“I’m great,” Jade replied, then whispered in Tori’s ear, “I’m also thinking that when we get home, maybe you can give me a _real_ spanking.” Because if there was something else she was realizing, it was that she was absolutely ready to keep exploring kink, the thing that Tori had never shared with someone else she was in love with.

Tori’s eyes were smoldering when Jade pulled back. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Maybe it was that reminder, of the potent presence of love that permeated their play, or maybe it was the fact that all the pieces about Tori and Mistress Tawny all _clicked_ for Jade, or maybe it was just that it was time for them to reopen the door to kink, but when they went home a few hours later and Tori instructed Jade to strip and kneel on the boot bench at the foot of the bed, it already felt different.

The first time Tori had spanked her, Jade had been in her head, a lot. Part of that was intentional, and Tori had encouraged it, because Jade was assessing her pain levels, how much she could take, how much she _wanted_ to take. But already this was different. Jade felt attuned to Tori, hyper aware of her presence, of every sound she made as she strode around the room, picking up the paddle and tapping it against her palm.

“I’ll warm you up with my hand and then switch to this,” Tori murmured, “How many do you want?”

What even was a good number for something like this? Last time Jade had taken ten, after they’d discovered what kind of intensity she liked. Jade took a breath. “Twenty. With the paddle,” she clarified.

“Someone’s greedy,” Tori purred, “Trying to tell me when I’m going to make you start counting.” Her hand was skimming over Jade’s bare ass.

And this time, instead of being focused on purging her own inner pain, transforming it to a physical release, Jade found she didn’t need that so much. It was still present, a bit, the catharsis was still a part of the experience. But mostly, getting spanked made Jade feel close to Tori, as if she could feel the literal connection between them, like electricity in the air. Each number that fell from Jade’s lips felt like an admission of love, each strike from Tori’s paddle felt like an expression of care, and Jade felt worthy, and strong, and treasured by Tori. The gift of her body, her cooperation, felt like a tangible thing, even if Jade also felt like _she_ was the one receiving the gift of pain, a reciprocity of desire that fulfilled them both.

When Jade reached twenty, she focused on breathing, feeling the pounding of her heart, the heat of her arousal between her legs. She felt Tori press a kiss to her lower back, just above her hip bone. “Do you want more?” she asked.

Did she? Yes, but, she needed a reason to let herself indulge in more. “No,” Jade managed, “I just want you.”

This time, aftercare, for Jade, began with sex. The coffee and cuddling came after Tori did.

-

Cat’s theater company held a toy drive for kids in need every Christmas. Tori had participated ever since she returned to LA (even that first year, when she was living off of her savings in Grandma Jean’s guest house). She and Jade had each picked a child’s name off of a tree decorated with cards that featured a couple wishlist items and bought them presents this year, and were headed down to Santa Monica to drop off the gifts at the theater, which was putting together a Christmas celebration for the kids to come pick up their presents, collect some candy, and interact with Santa.

People dropping off gifts were instructed to do so at the back door, but because they were friends with Cat, she invited them to come inside to see how the theater was decorated for the event.

“Whoa.” Tori was impressed. “You guys really outdid yourselves this year.”

“Yeah,” Cat said, “Our new set designer had some great ideas.” She was dressed as Mrs. Claus in a velvety red dress and Tori couldn’t help but to be reminded of the dress Jade wore in high school when they sang Andre’s Christmas song at school. The way that dress had burned itself into her memory should have been a sign at the time that she hadn’t quite gotten over her crush on Jade from the year before, when they’d worked on _Well Wishes_ together.

Tori had seen them decorate the space for Christmas before, in pictures if not in person, but this year was even more extravagant. Mounds of fake snow, creating the illusion of rolling hills fading into a beautiful backdrop, snowmen whose heads turned as you walked by (which was kind of creepy, actually), large candy cane colored poles bearing signs that pointed the way to Santa, a series of sparkling lights that created a glimmer in the air reminiscent of snowfall, especially with the way they played off of the delicate, glittering little snowflakes that hung from the ceiling above people’s heads, giving the illusion that snow was just about to come down.

And speaking of Santa, as they turned a corner through the wintery walkway the theater had designed, there was a figure in a red suit and hat, seated on what could only be described as a candy cane throne.

“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me,” Jade uttered.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Sam replied through her big white beard with a grin.

“What is going on this year that every Santa I see is a woman?” Jade asked no one.

“It’s 2025--” Tori started.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, Santa can be any gender they want.”

“Any race, too,” Cat put in, “We have a couple of different Santas for the other nights. Tonight was supposed to be Sikowitz’s night, but he accidentally double-booked himself, because he’s doing a living nativity scene tonight instead. He’s the angel. So Sam offered to fill in.”

“It’s great,” Sam said, hooking one of her knees over the arm of the throne. “All I have to do is sit here and eat candy and cookies and tell all the kids they’re naughty. What’s not to love?”

“ _Sam_ ,” chided Cat, and oh, god, Tori had just put it together that they were dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus for this event, which was disgustingly cute. “All of these kids are _nice_!”

“No kid is nice,” Sam refuted, “I was a kid once. I know.”

Cat sighed. “Sam…” she said warningly.

“Hey,” Sam replied with a chuckle, “That’s _Samta_ to you. And don’t worry. I’m not gonna make any kids cry or anything. As hilarious as that always is.” She sobered, slightly. “Getting something for Christmas is a big deal for these kids. I get that.”

“Wait,” Tori frowned, realizing something. “Isn’t Sikowitz Jewish?”

“So’s Robbie and he’s in the living nativity while he’s home for Christmas,” Cat replied, “He’s one of the Wise Men.”

“Well, you two have fun in your winter wonderland,” Jade drawled, seeming to want to leave.

“Thanks for participating!” Cat chirped, “I know the kids you bought gifts for will be thrilled.”

As they got into the car, Jade muttered, “Oh my god.”

“Why are you being so weird about Samta?” Tori cracked a smile, “You weren’t nearly so weirded out by Patrice, and she spanked you.”

Jade was quiet for a moment as she pulled out of the parking space, then said, “I didn’t tell you about the seance table, did I?”

“Uhhh.” Nothing about that sounded familiar. “No?”

Jade shook her head, “When we were doing the haunted house back in October, Sam came up to me at one point wondering if I’d left my camera there overnight, because apparently she and Cat were closing up the theater, but then Cat put on her collar, so they had sex on the seance table.”

Tori laughed, “Oh, my god.” She shook her head, “Who knew Cat was so adventurous?”

“Okay, but…” Jade said, “With _Samta_ and Mrs. Claus in the theater tonight...I can’t help but think...Cat’s probably carrying her collar and they’re going to defile that set, too.”

Well, _there_ was a mental picture. But honestly, Tori was more amused by Jade being rattled by her thoughts than concerned about the fact that Sam and Cat were probably going to have sex in the theater (because she thought Jade was probably right about that). “Do you think Sam will leave her beard on?”

“Tori!”

“What? It’s a question!”

“I really, _really_ don’t want to know.”

-

Cat had requested that Jade come take photos of the pieces she’d made for her Bra Candy Fashion Show but as Jade snapped images of each of the wardrobe items, she found herself asking about the inspiration for each one. Quickly, she realized she wanted to capture all of Cat’s stories about what had prompted her designs, which led to her filming Cat out on the patio of the apartment as she flipped through a sketchbook of drawings and explained where the ideas had come from.

At first, Jade figured it would be a short video, just something fun to promote the event. But as Cat delved into each item of clothing, there was always such a unique story tied to it. Like the licorice rope dispenser that included a mechanism to cut a length of candy because, “not everyone has a friend with scissors in her boot.”

"I haven't actually done that since college," Jade admitted. Though she always had at least one pair in her bag, at any given time.

"That's probably around the last time I carried a butter sock, too," Sam said, helping Cat pack the custom candy lingerie back into their garment bags. "Not that I went to college, but around that same time."

"I wonder what changed," Jade mused. "Maybe I just felt safer."

"Because you planned to scissor someone to death?" Sam asked, looking amused.

Jade rolled her eyes and shook her head. "No comment."

Sam laughed and carried an armful of bags inside, leaving Cat and Jade alone, but not before Cat called out, "They go in the--"

But Sam already called back, "Hall closet, I know, babe."

"I still never know when she listens to me or not," Cat said.

Jade chuckled. "Tori's either giving me an insufferable amount of details about loading the dishwasher or ignoring me when I ask her if she made the bed, so I can relate."

"I actually don't let Sam load the dishwasher," said Cat. "Not since the time she packed it so full that the little rolley rack broke."

Sam and Cat had been together for so long that it often felt like they'd figured everything out already, so it was encouraging to hear that they’d had similar problems with household chores. "You know, I obviously already knew this but now that I'm thinking about it...you guys have always just lived together. Like the entire time you've known each other."

"Yeah," was all Cat offered.

Jade was thinking about the bickering with Tori about things around the house like the coffee cups and the bed. It really felt like they were so compatible in every sense except for how to do certain chores. "Does Sam still...have trouble with housekeeping?" Jade was specifically recalling the time Cat had been in the psychiatric hospital so many years ago and how the apartment had descended into chaos when Sam had been left alone.

Cat shrugged. "Not really? We kind of figured that out a long time ago."

"Was it hard?" The thing was, Jade knew what it was like to live with someone, because she'd shared an apartment with Lana. But they'd also traveled so much during that year, maybe there just hadn't been time to ever really settle in and bicker about where to store the measuring cups (something that had happened the other night when Tori couldn't find them, even though Jade determined the drawer next to the stove was a perfect place).

"At first, I guess," considered Cat. "But especially back then, when we were first together, she was so worried about me being okay, she kind of always just did what I asked her to. I mean, usually. It's still Sam we're talking about so..." There was a fondness to the way Cat spoke teasingly about her wife (shit, yeah, they were married and that was something that Jade kept remembering, randomly). "Carly kind of helped us, too. She's good at planning and Sam listens to her."

That wasn't any kind of surprise. Carly still seemed to be an influence in Sam's life, even from so far away, even after all this time.

"Maybe I need Carly to tell Tori about making the bed," Jade suggested.

Cat laughed. "She was pretty excited to hear from Carly of _iCarly_ the other day."

By the time Jade headed back home, she was already mapping out the structure of a longer project in her mind. She could see Cat’s verbal descriptions paired up with the clothing item on a model, strutting the runway in Tori’s Fungeon. It was such an original union of talent that Jade felt compelled to document it.

But before anyone was about to model one of Cat’s candy-stuffed bras, there were actual holidays to get through. And Christmas Eve meant that Jade was finally going to see her grandparents, for the first time in years.

In the morning, she and Tori headed first to the Hollywood Hills to pick up Tiffany and Jeremy so they could all drive together. They were both sipping from travel cups of coffee, still getting fully caffeinated, and Tori was a little quiet. It was fine at first, because Jade didn’t like a lot of conversation before a certain amount of coffee, but eventually, she had to ask.

“Are you nervous?”

Tori glanced at her. “About what?”

“Meeting my grandparents,” Jade drawled slowly. The question seemed obvious enough to her.

Tori shrugged. “Kind of, I guess. I’ve never really met the extended family of someone I was dating.” That was true. Cutting off her dad had left Jade with a much smaller family tree, but Jade had met a lot of Tori’s extended family over the years. But Tori’s next question surprised her. “Is this the grandfather that’s missing a nose?” she asked.

“ _What_?”

“Your grandfather who’s missing a nose. Is it the one on this side of the family?”

“Tori, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Back in high school, you talked about this! When we got bribed into being the Diddly-Bops, Andre wrote that song about noses, and you hated it because you said your grandfather lost his nose in some war…”

Jade laughed, “Oh my god.” But Tori still seemed to be waiting for an answer. “Yes, he has a nose. Both my grandfathers have noses.” Well. “I think.” To be fair, she hadn’t seen either in awhile.

“You lied about your grandfather’s nose? Why?”

“I don’t know, I probably just hated Andre’s song because I hated that we were even about to be singing to children, anyway. You know half of what I said in high school was bullshit.”

“I know,” Tori sighed, “I guess I should have guessed.” She paused. “So what _are_ they like?”

“I don’t know, they’re related to my mom, so…weird?”

“They’re related to you, too, so that tracks.”

Two hours later, they were their way to her grandparent’s place out in Wrightwood, a mountain town about an hour and a half away from the city.

“Okay, we’re looking for...what’s the road, again?” Tiffany glanced down at her Pear Phone.

“Mom, the GPS will tell us when to turn,” Jade said, for what felt like the fifteenth time during the drive.

“She doesn’t trust them,” Jeremy piped up from the backseat. He and Tori were riding back there so Tiffany could have the front passenger seat and help navigate. Which was a mistake.

Jade was doing her best to keep her cool. It was honestly less about her mother and more about the increasing chance of snow, something she wasn’t all that experienced driving in, especially in her new, huge truck. At least it was only the early afternoon, so it was daylight. The drive home, however... “Okay, then Tori will tell us when to turn.” She knew Tori was tracking the directions because she always took on the role of navigator when they were headed somewhere new.

Tiffany shot a look back at her son. "It's not that I don't trust them, I just like to know where I am."

"That's literally what the GPS tells you," Jeremy informed her.

"It's the next left," said Tori.

Jade watched for the turn, then took it. As they began moving along the smaller, more winding mountain road, snowflakes began to settle on the windshield. "Shit," she cursed, watching the wipers push them away. It wasn't really sticking to the asphalt, so maybe it would be fine. And she'd just go as slowly as she wanted. Which worked for a couple miles, but another car had closed in behind them and there wasn't a safe area to pull over for them to pass. "These idiots are making me anxious," she said.

Tori made a gesture out the back window. "You can pass us!" she shouted.

"They can't hear you!" responded Jade. All of this was just raising her blood pressure. Fortunately, she was about to make her final turn up the short road that led to their destination, which meant the trailing car could go on its way. Except, when she turned, it followed. "What do they want?!"

"You know what?" Jeremy asked, peering out the back window. "I think that's them."

Jade pulled into the long driveway that led up to a cabin-style house and, sure enough, the car that had been stressing her out pulled up right next to them. Jade looked down from her driver’s side window and locked eyes with her grandmother for the first time in _years_.

She opened the door to her truck and stepped down, as her grandmother, Melody, got out of the passenger’s seat of the other car and called out, “That _can’t_ be Jade!”

“Hi, Melody,” Jade replied, accepting the hug.

“You know,” Her grandfather, Pop Pop, said genially as he got out of the driver’s side, “You really shouldn’t drive so slow on these roads. It’s less safe to crawl along.”

“I’m really not used to snow, Pop Pop,” Jade explained as she pulled back from Melody’s hug.

Tori circled the truck and came to stand right next to her and her grandparents fawned all over Tiffany and Jeremy in turn, though they’d seen both of them more recently, so they were eager to turn their attention back to Jade.

“Is this who I think it is?” Melody teased, looking at Tori. Her voice had a bit of a country twang to it, making everything she said sound even more cheerful somehow.

“Melody, Pop Pop, this is Tori,” Jade introduced her, “My fiancee.”

“Oh, _honey_ , you didn’t tell me you were engaged!” Melody sounded almost offended, and she shot Tiffany an aggrieved look.

“It just happened, Mom,” Tiffany defended herself.

“Well, congratulations,” Melody said, pulling Jade in for another hug and then offering one to Tori, “Oh, it’s okay, honey, I’m a hugger,” she explained.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Tori said awkwardly as she hugged Jade’s grandmother gingerly, and then shook Jade’s grandfather’s hand.

“Let’s head in where it’s warm,” Pop Pop fell into step beside Jade, “You’ve got a lot of years to catch us up on, kid.”

-

Christmas Eve was something that hadn’t really felt magical or spiritual since Tori was a little kid. Not even really because of Santa Claus, because Trina spilled the beans on that one pretty early. And Christmas in LA never really carried the mysticism that it seemed to have in books and movies where there were always serene scenes of fresh snowfall--not something that happened in the city. Sure, it got cold at night, but even the wet winters of Vancouver, which also didn’t see much snow, had a very different feeling than the crisp chill of Los Angeles winter nights.

But Tori had realized over time that the magic of the holiday lay in what people made of it. That it had felt special as a child because her parents made it special--the ritual of bringing home and decorating a tree, the evening hot chocolates with marshmallows, the hidden presents so that Christmas morning could be a surprise (even if they couldn’t claim that Santa had brought them, after five-year-old Trina had stayed awake to catch them one year and immediately told Tori). Lonely Christmases in Vancouver taught her that the holiday itself was nothing but a day, and coming home to Los Angeles and gathering with her family (and Tiffany and Jeremy) taught her that ritual and love was what made the day that was technically like any other special. It was corny, but it was true. Tori felt lucky that she had people she loved who she could spend the holiday with, fully aware that sometimes it wasn’t possible, or that, for others, family was the least safe environment for celebration.

And there was the thought that maybe they were making new traditions, with the visit with Jade’s grandparents, who were sweet and welcoming, just eccentric enough for Tori to see the familial resemblance to Jade. Their home was in a serene and beautiful area, and Tori would have hoped for actual snow had they not had to drive back through it. But she’d enjoyed getting to know them, had enjoyed connecting with people who would soon become another part of her family.

Maybe Jade was thinking along the same lines, about ritual and love, because as they made their way into the bedroom, the thrum of excitement already building between them, she asked, “So is strap-on sex on holiday evenings just going to be our thing?”

“Do you want it to be?” Tori teased.

On the drive home, Jade had gotten annoyed with a driver who’d cut her off and shouted more than a few obscenities at them. It had been somewhat exaggerated (Tori could tell when Jade was genuinely cursing someone out and this was mostly just for effect) and prompted her to suggest Jade save some of that aggressive energy for the bedroom.

( _“Fuck you!”_

_“Maybe you could just fuck me, instead?”_

_“...you mean tonight?”_

_“If you want. If you don’t drive us off the road.”_ )

Jade had managed to keep the truck very much between the lines of her lane and even perfectly parallel parked in front of the house.

Now, Tori caught the way searing blue eyes ran down her body, eager at the prospect of imminent sex. “I mean, I’m not complaining,”

“I didn’t think you were,” Tori smirked. She pulled Jade toward her by her leather jacket, bringing her in for a kiss, feeling Jade’s hands settle on her waist to pull her closer. There was a nervous excitement in Tori’s belly, because this was something new for both of them, and it felt _different_ from the eagerness she’d felt when they were thinking about trying strap-on sex with Jade as the receiving partner. That felt more like a fulfillment of decade old desires, of settling into roles in the bedroom they were already very comfortable with and adding a new dimension to them.

Still, Tori tried to remind herself that nothing about this was strictly _new_. Penetration wasn’t alien to her. And even though wearing the strap-on didn’t have to correlate with the role of _top_ , Tori had decided to give Jade some room to play with that concept, despite the fact that she’d told Jade she’d be on top riding her their first time doing this. She was mindful of the _switch_ score on Jade’s kink test, and it had occurred to her that perhaps it referred to more vanilla activities, since Jade didn’t score high on any dominant kink interests (and because, as she was reminded when Jade took control of their encounter in her old bedroom while she was wearing _that dress_ , Jade certainly had her moments outside of negotiated kink scenes, at least when Tori let her).

They took their time with those kisses, slowly undressing between them, barely speaking as they finally made their way naked to the bed. Maybe Jade was nervous, too. There was certainly something different about being given permission to take the reins rather than wrestling for them.

With that in mind, Tori interrupted the slow, gentle kisses they were sharing with Jade on top of her, all soft curves and subtle scents, and flipped them over, settling on top of Jade, fingers trailing delicately up one forearm to link with Jade’s, pressing the back of her hand against the mattress. Tori’s hips began a slow rhythm, grinding against Jade’s thigh, not enough to really get her anywhere, but enough that she felt Jade’s breath catch at the sensation of wetness. Tori leaned her weight onto the hand pinning Jade’s, letting her other hand run slowly, gently over her breasts, letting herself indulge in all the sensations of Jade. Until, “Wait,” Jade breathed.

“Hmm?” Tori hummed, pressing kisses against her neck.

Jade chuckled weakly, “I think I’m supposed to...be…” she trailed off into a moan as Tori let her teeth scrape over the muscle at the juncture of Jade’s neck and shoulder.

“Then you’d better do more than lie back and let me come on your thigh,” Tori challenged, voice low in Jade’s ear.

When she looked back at Jade, she could see the way her eyes had narrowed, ignited by Tori’s challenge. _Take control, Jade. If you can_.

Jade rolled them over once again, and Tori was pleased at the determination in her eyes. Jade hovered over her and, predictably but not unwelcome, she pressed her breasts to Tori’s face. Tori lifted her hands to grab hold as she pressed kisses to them and between them, relishing the sensation, allowing herself to bask in them. And finally, Jade pulled away, straddling Tori’s hips, hands caressing her torso.

“Stay right there,” Jade commanded.

Tori couldn’t stop her own smirk, which made Jade eye her sharply. But she responded with only a touch of sass in her “Sure.”

Jade climbed off the bed and headed into the closet. Tori sat up, already uncertain that she wanted Jade digging through her sex toys (because it was her work, not because of any privacy or shame). But luckily Jade seemed to have a similar impulse. “Where did you actually put my strap-on?” she asked, referring to the harness and dildo with an internal anchor that they’d purchased the month before.

“I can get it for you,” Tori offered, stepping down off the bed. Jade frowned as if she might want to refuse, but she got out of the way and let Tori pull it out from where she’d stashed it (in her box of _Good_ sex toys, since they were for personal use and not work).

“Thanks,” Jade accepted the items, then eyed Tori again, “Okay, back on the bed and stay there this time.”

Tori laughed, but she listened.

-

The strap-on took a little longer to put on than Jade expected. Not because it wasn’t obvious the way the harness and the dildo fit together, but because of the logistics of inserting the bulb end of the toy while pulling the harness on--it just took a bit of maneuvering that Jade wasn’t quite used to. But when everything was in place, Jade felt pretty comfortable. She liked the sensation of fullness the end of the toy inside her provided, the way, she presumed, it would help her feel connected to the rest of the dildo.

She came out of the bathroom to find Tori reclining on the bed, waiting for her. Jade knew that Tori had agreed to let Jade drive this encounter a little, to encourage them both to explore, and it seemed she was willing to play along with Jade’s decisions. For the most part. There was a certain flattery in knowing she was going to do something in bed with Tori that, for all her experience, she hadn’t done before. Jade wasn’t really nervous (she was old enough now to know that ‘first times’ didn’t need to go perfectly to still be good) or intimidated (this was _Tori_ in her nerdy glasses and her stupid cute smile, what was intimidating about that?), but there was a touch of anxiety at the heart of her excitement. Maybe she knew that imperfect ‘first times’ could still be good, but she also knew keenly that sometimes trying something new just went _wrong_.

It wasn’t a logical concern in this case, but it still crossed her mind as she climbed up on the bed and settled next to Tori, pulling her onto her side and drawing her in for a kiss. Tori slid closer, trailing her hand up to Jade’s breast and draping her leg over Jade’s hip to allow their lower bodies to connect. Jade reached down to the strap-on, pressing up against it until she could feel the shaft of it make contact between Tori’s legs, hearing her gasp and feeling the way her hips pressed to grind against it.

Jade pulled apart from Tori, pressing their foreheads together, “You ready for me? Or do you want me to go down on you, or…”

“I’m ready,” Tori replied in a voice shaky with tension and need. “Lube is there,” Tori gestured toward her bedside table.

Jade surged in for one last kiss and then coaxed Tori onto her back so that it would be easy to straddle her hips to reach for the lube. She held the bottle and gazed down at Tori, then resituated herself so she was kneeling between Tori’s legs, running her hands over Tori’s thighs. “Want to start like this?” Jade suggested, because she wanted to both experience the control of penetration and to be able to see Tori’s face.

Tori grinned and nodded, “Kinda like the idea of getting to watch you fuck me,” she purred.

Jade blushed a little at that, feeling the warmth of everything filling her chest. She thought of the juxtaposition of their first time with Tori wearing the strap-on, ordering Jade to get on her hands and knees on the bed, and this, Jade sweetly asking if they could fuck missionary because they _wanted to see each other_. But this was exploration, this was Jade literally learning a new skill, and she knew that missionary had its drawbacks, but it was also intimate.

Maybe she was just a romantic. So sue her. She had her _fiancee_ in bed with her, it was Christmas Eve. Jade spread lube over the dildo, then let her fingers trace slowly over Tori’s folds, watching the way her chest rose with her inhale at Jade’s touch.

Looking down at them, Jade had a sense that the angle might be awkward. “Hand me a pillow,” she requested. Tori raised her eyebrows and reached for one of Jade’s pillows. “Not the one I put my face on at night,” Jade specified.

In her haste to reach a different one, Tori sent a few tumbling over the side of the bed. But once Jade had a pillow in hand, she lifted Tori by her hips, situating the pillow under her, the two of them shifting her into position. Jade kept her hands on Tori’s hips for a moment, trailing her fingers lightly over the sensitive skin of her pelvis, but then Tori’s legs lifted, calves settling on Jade’s hips, coaxing and inviting her into action.

Jade adjusted her knees and leaned forward, hand holding the strap-on in place, trying to look between their bodies to gauge where she was going. Tori reached down, helping her find the angle of entry, and all at once she felt resistance fall away as the dildo slipped a few inches inside of Tori, and she heard Tori’s intake of breath, saw her eyes flutter. “Okay?” Jade breathed.

Tori nodded, “Start slow,” she requested, meeting Jade’s eyes as her legs lifted higher, wrapping around Jade’s body, opening herself up further.

Jade did, leaning forward to rest her weight on her hands as her hips moved in a few short, shallow thrusts until Tori’s legs tightened around her, spurring her to sink inside fully, watching the way Tori’s back arched, her head tipped back to expose the length of her neck, her lips parted in an exhale with a low, soft vocalization.

Tori reached up, arms around Jade’s shoulders, drawing her slowly down for a kiss. Jade shifted her weight, letting it settle onto Tori, feeling the soft, welcoming pressure of breasts against her own, shifting the angle of her legs to give herself more leverage. They stayed stationary for a moment, feeling the way their bodies pressed together, Jade loving how it felt for Tori’s legs to lift higher and wrap more thoroughly around her, enjoying the needy way Tori kissed her. When Jade finally began to move her hips, Tori moaned against her mouth, and Jade could feel the way Tori moved with her, lifting to meet her thrusts, and very soon interrupting their kisses to murmur in a rush of heat against Jade’s cheek, “You can go harder.”

Jade did. She was well aware of what she liked in bed, though translating that to being on the other side of the strap-on was a bit more difficult than she anticipated, but as she moved, she began to get a sense for just where the strap-on was inside Tori, how to make her thrusts deeper, harder, longer. She pressed her face into Tori’s neck and shoulder, resting her weight more on that side, focused on the motion of her hips and the way Tori responded, the tightening of her thighs, the hands at Jade’s shoulders and back, the rhythmic gasps and moans in time with Jade’s thrusts. It wasn’t until she really started moving that Jade became more aware of the end of the strap-on anchored inside of her, the way it felt as Jade’s walls gripped it, as it shifted with the friction of the toy inside Tori. Jade wasn’t at all close, but she certainly was starting to have a sense of possibility, that she could absolutely come from fucking Tori.

If only she could keep up. Maybe there was something to the way Jade’s previous partners had sometimes varied the intensity of their thrusts, at least until she started getting close. Because Jade thought it had probably only been a couple of minutes of vigorous thrusting and she was flagging.

“Fuck,” she breathed in Tori’s ear, “This is kind of tiring.”

“I can get on top for a bit, if you want,” Tori murmured in a sultry tone.

“Yeah, okay,” Jade agreed, eager for a break, but also looking forward to getting a look at Tori riding her. She had been happy to be given the chance to explore active penetration, but Jade, of course, often enjoyed sexual experiences in which her partner took their pleasure from her.

They untangled their limbs, and Jade leaned down to press a final kiss to Tori’s lips before rolling and settling onto her back, watching keenly as Tori moved to straddle her, long lean legs settling on either side of Jade’s, hands splaying over Jade’s rib cage, just under her breasts, for stability.

Tori bit her lip and sat up, shifting into position, and Jade felt the echo inside her of the motion of the toy as Tori handled it. Then Tori met her eyes, quirked her lips, and sank down into it with a groan, coaxing a moan out of Jade as well. “Fuck, Tori,” she managed, lifting her hands to smooth over Tori’s firm thighs, to grip her hips.

“Yeah, you like this?” Tori asked, steadily lifting her hips and sinking back down, fucking herself on top of Jade. Jade could feel the reciprocal tug inside of her, less pronounced than when she was on top, but present. She had less leverage available to her for motion, but she attempted anyway, lifting slightly to meet Tori’s movements, coaxing punctuated groans out of her.

Tori’s hands were on her breasts, fingers rolling her nipples, making Jade gasp and clench with need, trying to thrust harder up into Tori. Tori’s breath came out in bursts, little encouraging affirmations on the exhales, and Jade ran her hands over her hips, her thighs, feeling the power in them, letting her thumb slide between her legs, circling Tori’s clit.

But at that, it didn’t take long before Tori spoke, “I’m going to come really fast if we keep this up,” she told Jade, slowing her motions.

“Then get on your back again,” Jade commanded, feeling re-energized by watching Tori.

This time, they settled into position quicker, and Jade started out more vertical, grabbing Tori’s hips and holding onto them while Tori lifted her legs up to Jade’s shoulders, giving Jade easy access. She held back this time, measuring her pace, watching the way different patterns of thrusts made Tori react, her back bowing, her hands reaching for Jade’s on her hips, eyes closing and then meeting hers, mouth emitting whimpers and groans.

But Tori let her legs slide down from Jade’s shoulders, hooking around her body, pulling her closer. Jade leaned over again, gazing into her eyes, taking in the flush of her cheeks, the grin on her lips, and then they were kissing again, Jade continuing the motion of her hips, moving faster now, hoping to bring them both closer.

Jade slowed her thrusts, preserving her energy, listening to the whine in Tori’s voice as she did so, moving her mouth to press kisses into Tori’s neck as she rolled her hips in deep, slow movements. Jade felt herself clenching the toy with each thrust, exaggerated by the gradual speed of them, and realized she was trembling slightly. The awareness of it seemed to double the fire of arousal coiling through her, and Jade was flooded with sensation--Tori’s moans filling her ears each time Jade buried herself deeper, Tori’s blunt nails digging into her back, Tori’s thighs flexing tight around her waist, her calves and her heels firm against Jade’s lower back, encouraging her movements. Tori’s voice in a low, pleading whisper, “Give it to me faster, fuck me, Jade.”

Jade’s teeth scraped against Tori’s collarbone as she buried her face in her chest, shaking harder and crying out just as her orgasm flooded through her, the tug of the toy inside her drawing out the sensations in waves, her hips jerking erratically, out of her control even as she tried to give Tori what she wanted-- _faster, harder_ \--arms curling up under Tori’s shoulders pulling her as close as possible as she shook and shuddered and muffled her moans into the upper curve of Tori’s breast.

“ _Jade_ ,” Tori’s voice was awestruck, adoring, even a little amused, and there were hands on her hair, comforting smoothing, legs tight around her as her body sagged, encouraging her to go still even as she stayed fully sheathed inside of Tori.

“I can keep going,” Jade said breathlessly, knowing full well that she _couldn’t_ , not yet, maybe soon, but _fuck_ , her mind was spinning, her body felt inervated with heat and love and Tori’s gentle fingers sought to bring her back to herself.

“No, I think you’d better get on your back, as quick as you can,” Tori responded, an urgency in her voice that spurred Jade to action, her noodly limbs struggling to cooperate as she pulled out--making Tori arch and swallow a whimper--and rolled off of her partner. Tori wasted no time climbing on top of her, sinking back down on the strap-on without preamble. “ _Fuck_ ,” Tori whispered, looking directly into Jade’s eyes with an intensity that was almost too much, “That was so fucking sexy.”

“You liked it when I came inside you?” Jade asked, not knowing where the _hell_ that had come from in the haze of her post-orgasmic brain. But apparently there was something potent there, from the way Tori moaned deep in her chest and arched back, giving Jade an even less obstructed view of the way she rode the strap-on, the little sway in her hips, the flexing of her thighs, the purple toy slipping in and out of her.

But soon, Tori was leaning forward, connecting their bodies and their lips, leaning her weight to one side so that her other hand could reach between her legs. She was less able to provide all the motion now, though her hips still rocked, so Jade dug her heels into the mattress and met her motions as best she could, pushing up into her, listening to Tori curse “ _Fuck, yes, don’t stop_.” But almost before she finished talking, Jade already knew she was close, from the breathy whimper at the edge of her voice, to the force of her hips pushing down onto Jade’s, and with a final, deep thrust, Tori went still for a long, breathless moment, teetering on the edge of the precipice, before a groan tore from her throat, her body quaked and pushed itself as close as it could to Jade’s, and Jade tried to match her, but it was too much. Jade felt the lightning shock of a second, smaller orgasm course through her, spurred by the sight and sound and touch of the woman on top of her, and she could barely make sense of anything until Tori went quiet, trembling in her arms, pressing soft kisses into Jade’s neck.

-

Tori continued lazily kissing Jade’s neck. She didn’t want to move in spite of the fact that she was growing chilly, that she thought her legs might be cramping, that she felt sticky with sweat as she and Jade lay together. She also felt profoundly connected to her. Tori had experienced many times when sex toys helped her feel closer to people, her clients, mostly, for whom implements like rope or paddles could facilitate the connection between them that produced the thrill of power exchange. So Tori wasn’t entirely _surprised_ by how connected strap-on sex with Jade made her feel--she’d certainly experienced it from the other end of the toy--but there was always something a little more raw and vulnerable about penetration like this. Even if it were “just” a toy (which was not a claim Tori would ever make), the emotional intensity of the experience left her longing for closeness, despite her discomfort.

But eventually, Jade nudged at Tori gently, and she carefully rose off of Jade, exhaling in relief as she lifted off of the toy and rolled onto her side so she could stretch out her legs. Jade tugged at the harness, frowning, but she ended up having to actually get out of bed and onto her feet before she was able to take off the strap-on, groaning as she slid the bulb end of the toy out of herself. She seemed torn about what to do with it, until Tori said, “Just put it down and come back to bed?”

So Jade did, dropping it at the foot of the bed and climbing back up to draw Tori close, holding her, kissing her softly. They were still sweaty, and the air on Tori’s skin still felt a little too cool, but Jade’s touches were soothing, loving. They lay together for a long moment before Jade asked, “Well?”

“Well what?” Tori asked, chuckling.

“How did that go?”

Tori drew back to regard Jade curiously. “My orgasm didn’t answer that question for you?”

Jade shrugged, “It was new for both of us, so, just checking in.”

Tori kissed her, kind of loving that Jade was the one to initiate a verbal check-in after they tried something new together. “It was _really_ great. This is definitely something I’d like to do more together. I mean, if it worked for you, too.”

“ _Oh_ , I enjoyed fucking you,” Jade assured her with a smirk, “Really liked you being on top.”

“Mmm, yeah, me too,” Tori agreed, because being on top, thus far in her exploration, worked the best for her. It was part of why she’d gotten back on top when she was ready to actually come, aside from the fact that Jade’s orgasm had left her a bit unresponsive. “Although the part where you came inside me was pretty nice, too,” she teased.

Jade blushed, “Jesus,” she muttered, eyes scrunching tightly closed at the mention of it. “I don’t even know why I said that.”

Tori smirked, “Because you were _feeling_ that strap-on,” she teased. “You’re kind of a natural with it, by the way.”

Jade relaxed and looked very pleased, as Tori thought she might from being praised in this way. “Yeah, well. I know what I like. Just tried to give the same to you.”

“I loved it,” Tori assured her with a kiss, “And I love you.”

Tori slept well that night, though whether it was from the sex or the specialty holiday “Lords-a-Leaping” weed Astra had given them that they tried before bed, she couldn’t be sure. But in the morning, Christmas morning, they only took enough time for a cup of coffee and a light breakfast of yogurt before they headed over to the Vega house for all the family activities of the day.

There was, of course, more coffee already brewed, which was good, because one cup wasn’t enough for Jade, and she’d been strangely quiet in the car on the way there, as if she wasn’t quite awake. But Tori’s mom had prepared food--cinnamon buns, bacon, breakfast casserole, fresh grapefruit--and once Jade had eaten more and had a couple more cups of coffee in her system, she seemed prepared to accept the Christmas spirit.

It was a chaotic and fun sort of morning once everyone got going. People kept up a steady intake of coffee as they gathered in the living room to open presents, which followed the usual themes: weed stuff from Holly, Tiffany crying no matter what she opened from whom, Jeremy being grateful for the very practical things on his list being gifted to him (including a lot of gift cards that he could spent on his textbooks), Trina requiring all the attention whether she was opening a gift or someone was opening a gift from her. But it was comfortable and familiar and even if Jade hadn’t been at her side for the past decades worth of Christmases, it felt to Tori as if she’d always belonged. Because of course she had. Even when they weren’t speaking, she and Jade had basically shared a family.

And evidently family, or at least the legal definition of it, was on some people’s minds as they all sat together in the living room, because, inevitably, Tori and Jade’s engagement became the topic of conversation. Not that it hadn’t been mentioned many times already that day, but it had reached the point where the wedding _itself_ was being discussed. Tori was only really surprised that it had taken so long to get there, into the afternoon when _A Christmas Story_ had already played through a couple of times on the TV they were all barely watching.

“Have you set a date yet?” Holly wanted to know.

“Uh,” Tori glanced at Jade, “No?”

“I think you should do a fall wedding. Oh! Or a spring wedding, so it can be sooner. Then you can do it outdoors.”

“Mom,” Jade chided, “You really think me standing out in the sun for a long time is a good idea on a day lots of pictures will be taken?”

“Well, either way, you should be searching for a venue,” Holly suggested, “Things get booked up fast.”

“I don’t know how much Jade would like traditional wedding venues,” Tiffany frowned.

“What does _that_ mean?” Jade asked irritably.

“I always assumed you’d get married in a movie theater,” Jeremy shrugged. At Jade’s baffled look, he explained, “That way you could actually smile for pictures.”

“You think I won’t already be _smiling_ when I’m marrying Tori?”

“Gross,” Trina commented.

“Oh, no one asked you, Trina,” Tori stuck her tongue out.

“Oh, no, they’re sweet,” Tiffany corrected Trina.

“I just can’t believe you’re engaged already,” Trina was still frowning, “Haven’t you been dating for like, two months?”

“Three!” Tori corrected defensively, though Trina’s estimate was much closer. It was hardly the point, though. “And I’d agree with you if Jade and I hadn’t previously dated for almost four years before that. Or if we hadn’t been practically living together for months now.”

“You lesbians always do this stuff all ass-backwards,” Trina jabbed, “And I get it. I just hope you two don’t rush into anything.”

“Trina, I don’t think this is something they decided on lightly,” David soothed in a reasonable tone.

“Are you going to change your names?” Tiffany asked.

“ _Why_ would we do that?” Jade nearly spat.

Tiffany shrugged, “Well, I don’t know. I married pretty young, you know, right out of college, so I never even thought about it. And then by the time I divorced your father I’d been working professionally with the last name West for so long that going back to my maiden name wasn’t worth it. Plus it’s easier being a single parent when your last name matches your kids’.” But then she seemed to realize something, “I guess you both already have professional careers under your current names, though.”

“And we’re not having kids, either,” Jade growled, “You’ll have to look to the straight children for that.”

“You’re not?” Holly asked, sounding disappointed.

“When have I ever expressed interest in kids?” Tori asked.

“Wait, you’re making _me_ be the one to give Mom and Dad grandchildren?” Trina asked incredulously. Beside her, Jeremy just looked gravely concerned, as if he, too, felt the weight of expectation settle on him.

Jade had stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen at this point. Tori followed her, and saw the way Jade leaned against the counter. “You okay?” she asked quietly.

“I’m sore and frustrated and I’d like to get away for a minute,” Jade mumbled.

“Okay, go up to the guest room, I’ll be right behind you,” Tori told her.

Jade headed for the stairs, and Tori stood at the bottom of them with her hands on her hips. “Okay, there will be no more talk about our wedding, because _we_ are going to handle that. Now since you’ve exhausted us, we’re going to go upstairs for a few minutes, and when we come back down, I hope you’ll all be able to behave yourselves.”

The room was quiet for a moment, then Trina drawled, “Whatever,” as Tori turned and headed up the stairs.

She found Jade lying on her back on the guest room bed. Even though Trina was staying there, it still felt natural enough to Tori for the two of them to head there for some refuge from their families. She came and sat on “her” side of the bed, reaching for Jade’s hand. “Are you okay? What do you mean, you’re sore?”

Jade groaned, other hand passing over her abdominal region, “I’m _sore_. Like my abs and my back a little bit, too.” She shot Tori a look, “Why, aren’t _you_ sore?”

Tori shrugged, assessing her pelvic region. “I’m...okay,” she settled on.

Jade stared, “You’re _okay_? What the hell, how is it that I get fucked and I’m sore for Thanksgiving, and _you_ get fucked and _I’m still sore for Christmas_!”

“Well, I didn’t get _pounded_ into the mattress, like _some_ people,” Tori smirked.

Jade blushed, but she still eyed Tori, “Is that a challenge?”

“I don’t know, do you think you can keep up?” Tori teased, gesturing to Jade’s abs, “You’re already sore from last night.”

“Ugh,” Jade groaned, “I am. _Why_?”

Tori shrugged, “Sounds like you need to strengthen your core a little bit.”

Jade sighed heavily, seeming to be stewing on it. “I probably should try to get more exercise,” she admitted, “Before, in New York, I was walking everywhere, so that kept me in shape when I was there.”

Tori could relate. Vancouver had good public transportation, so she knew the feeling of being on foot in a city all day. But Los Angeles was so spread out and car-centric, that even with incremental improvements of the public transportation system over time, everyone who could afford it drove. “Well, you know where you could work out, if you wanted.”

Jade glanced at the wall toward Trina’s old bedroom. “I don’t know if I could let your dad train me, knowing it’s to help me _fuck you better_.”

“No, I meant at Moustache Media.”

Jade squinted. “You mean Captain Catherine Obvious’s gym.”

“Yeah,” Tori offered, “And I could train you. I mean, I’m _not_ a personal trainer, but I do know how to use all the machines safely, so I could show you, encourage you or whatever.”

“Would that be _you_ , or Captain Catherine?” Jade’s face stretched into a smirk.

“Me.”

“Hmm,” Jade hummed thoughtfully.

“Why, would you _prefer_ Captain Catherine?”

“No,” Jade shook her head, “She’d probably be too distracting.”

“Oh, what am I, then? Boring old Tori?”

“I didn’t say that.” Jade raised an eyebrow, “Did you forget I already can barely keep my eyes off you when you’re doing yoga? Bring in that Captain Catherine energy and I might not be able to focus.”

“Well, when you put it _that_ way…” Tori leaned over to kiss her.

They were still kissing, slow and searching kisses, when the door opened. Tori pulled away at the sound of Trina’s long-suffering sigh, “Gross, but I’ve walked in on worse.”

“Maybe that’s a clue you should _stop walking into rooms without knocking_ ,” Tori shot back.

“This is _my room_! I’m staying here right now!”

“Well, Jade had to lie down! What, you think she was going to relax on the weight bench?”

“Are you okay?” Trina asked Jade.

“I’m fine, just sore.”

Trina held up a hand, “I don’t want to know.”

“What are you doing in here, anyway?” Tori asked.

“Just wanted to make a phone call.”

Jade sat up with a pained exhale and a wince, but recovered quickly as she crooned, “Ooooh, are you calling _Neil_?”

“None of your business,” Trina replied.

“That’s a yes,” Tori confirmed.

“Whatever, get out of my room!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jade got up.

“Come on. Maybe Dad started making dinner,” Tori suggested.

“Ooh, I could eat. Do you think there’s more coffee?”

When they came downstairs, Tori’s dad was, indeed, cooking (and apparently showing Jeremy some of what he was doing), but her mom seemed to glance up the stairs behind them. “Trina’s up in the guest room, right?”

“Yeah, she’s calling _Neil_ ,” Tori drawled teasingly.

Holly nodded, “Okay. Come sit,” she invited, gesturing to the couch next to her.

Tori glanced at Jade, “Okay…” she agreed uncertainly, and the two of them came over to sit with their moms.

“Now this is about your engagement,” Holly started, but held up a hand as Tori started to open her mouth to protest the intrusiveness. “But we’re not asking any questions. There’s just something I need to tell you.”

Tori subsided, glancing at Jade, whose brows were constricted, but she looked curious. “We’re listening,” Tori invited.

“Well,” Holly began, “My mom had a particular trust fund that you should know about.” Holly paused, Tori assumed, to let that information sink in and make her and Jade look at each other, baffled. “The terms of the trust fund stated that money would be released to you upon your engagement, to be put toward your wedding. Anything leftover is to be put toward Jade’s next movie. So, I guess, Merry Christmas from my mom, from beyond the grave.”

Tori was speechless. Just how many times was Grandma Jean going to show up as a force encouraging Tori and Jade to be together? If she and Jade had truly stopped loving each other, or even found themselves unable to rekindle a friendship, this would have been kind of distressing. Tori wondered how long this trust fund had existed. Her grandmother had given her the engagement ring so long ago now. When had she decided to will them the house? Why had she insisted on keeping the terms of this trust contingent upon their marriage when they hadn’t been anything more than friends before she’d died? Had Grandma Jean believed in their love _that_ much?

Searching for answers, Tori looked past Jade to Tiffany, who was beaming, hand pressed to her chest the way she always did when she was particularly moved. Jade looked just as dumbfounded as Tori felt, and finally uttered incredulously, “Grandma Jean really thought Tori and I were going to get _married_?”

“Well, we _are_ ,” Tori replied, “So she wasn’t wrong. But _still_.” She shook her head, “I can’t...wait, what would have happened to the money if we’d never gotten engaged?”

Holly smiled ruefully, “If you’d married someone else, the money would have gone to fund a film for Jade.” Tori’s eyes bulged as she realized that if she’d married someone else, her grandma would have been so disappointed in her that she’d not have access to any of that money. “With the condition that _you_ would have to be cast in the film. A speaking role,” Holly finished.

“Oh, she is _diabolical_ ,” Jade said sharply, but as Tori turned to look at her, she was grinning from ear to ear. She laughed, shaking her head. “How many little romantic comedy plots did she hide in her affairs to try to push us together if we hadn’t figured it out ourselves?”

Holly merely shrugged. “She just really loved you both.”

“If I didn’t love Jade, Mom, this would be nearly _psychotic_ ,” Tori replied, but then she found herself laughing, too. “I really can’t believe her. The last time we saw her…” Tori remembered giving the presentation at Elderly Acres, her grandmother grabbing handfuls of free condoms, then Italian food and Bud Light Lime in her retirement home apartment. “We were just friends,” Tori finished.

It was Jade who quietly said, “Doesn’t mean we didn’t love each other. Maybe she could tell.” She reached for Tori’s hand.

There was a sniffing sound, and Tori realized that Tiffany was crying, “Of _course_ she could tell!” Tiffany bawled. “We all wanted this to happen,” she revealed, not that it was that much of a surprise, “But we’re your mothers, and part of that means letting you go out into the world and make mistakes.”

“But as _my_ mother would say,” Holly continued, “Grandmothers don’t have to play by those rules.”

Tori let it all sink in, still holding Jade’s hand, but she heard footsteps on the stairs. She tried to look like she hadn’t just been given big news as she said to Trina, “That was a quick call.”

“Neil couldn’t talk long, his brother was--why is Tiffany crying?” she asked suspiciously.

“Grandma Jean,” Jeremy supplied from the kitchen. Tori kind of forgot that her dad and Jeremy were almost certainly close enough to hear what they’d been talking about on the couches.

“What about her?” Trina asked, eyes still narrowed.

Holly glanced at Tori and sighed, “She left money for Tori and Jade’s wedding,” she admitted.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Trina exploded, “How many ways is she going to find to insult me after death?”

“Trina,” Holly said, sounding slightly testy, “I know you have antiques of _at least_ as much value as Tori and Jade’s money, if not _more_ , in that storage unit you’ve barely touched and now pay for.”

“Yeah, another insult!” Trina flung her hand out dramatically, “I’m not local, when do I even have time to deal with that storage unit?”

“You know,” Jeremy put in, “My buddy Dice is really good and finding buyers for rare and interesting items. He could help you out for a cut of the profit.”

“Yeah. _Yeah_ ,” Jade turned toward him, gesticulating with her finger, “He and Sam helped Cat clear out her storage unit once way back when. It was full of all kinds of weird stuff. Like Sky Store junk. And a hundred pajelehoochos.”

Jeremy winced, “He even convinced me to buy one of those,” he admitted.

“Talk to Sam,” Jade instructed Trina, “She and Dice can absolutely help you out.”

“Hmm,” Trina hummed skeptically, looking between the West siblings. She nodded at Jeremy, “You’re alright,” she told him.

“Uh, thanks?” he replied uncertainly.

Jade scowled, “I appreciate you, too, Trina.”

“Wait a minute,” Tori realized, “So Grandma Jean set up that will so that if I married someone else, she was going to try to force Jade and I to work together. Did she try to set me up to cheat on my spouse?! She had to know Jade would have been angry about the condition, too, so we probably would have fought, and I would’ve just gotten _nothing_!”

“Yeah, cry me a river,” Trina drawled.

“Oh, go sell some antiques!” Tori shot back.

“Ladies,” David chided, “Dinner is nearly ready, so maybe we can set this aside for now.”

“Sure,” agreed Tori, who wasn’t actually upset with Trina.

“Yeah, yeah,” Trina conceded, “I’m never living down all the times I asked Grandma about the will, am I?”

Privately, Tori had to agree that Trina was probably right, and although the storage unit was ultimately generous, it was Grandma Jean having a bit of a last laugh. But the part that was so poignant to her right now was the way Grandma Jean had ensured that Jade was as cared for as any of her other grandchildren.

Even if it was sometimes structured to be a little bit at the expense of Tori.

-

It wasn’t a trip to the Vega house with at least some opportunity to consume cannabis, which had helped Jade largely ignore her sore body if she didn’t move certain ways. But after an early dinner, she and Tori headed home.

“You should take a bath,” Tori suggested after Jade indicated that she was still a bit sore.

Jade perked up. She’d seen the large, deep bathtub in the bathroom, but considering they had a jacuzzi, she hadn’t really ever had occasion to use it. But with the evenings actually turning fairly cold, the prospect of getting in and out of the jacuzzi after dark was a lot less appealing than it had been even a month or so before. “What, like a bubble bath?”

“If you want to,” Tori replied easily.

“I...wasn’t really considering that as an option, but sure. It kind of sounds great,” Jade admitted. It had been a long time since she’d been able to soak peacefully in a tub, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d even _had_ a bubble bath.

But when they got home, before anything else, Tori directed her to sit on the couch, “Sit down for a minute, I have something for you.”

Jade frowned, “I thought we agreed we weren’t doing big Christmas gifts this year.” Indeed, the conversation had happened toward the beginning of the month (around the same time they’d jointly decided not to put up a tree, since the Vega house Christmas tree was already a huge family undertaking), with Jade pointing out that she wasn’t expecting anything big from Tori that year since she’d paid to have a coffee maker installed in their bedroom. Tori had agreed on the grounds that Jade had bought a jacuzzi for their house, which prompted Jade to declare that the jacuzzi was _hers_ , not _theirs_ , so Tori shot back that in that case, she was expecting an expensive gift. But after Jade finished pouting and laughing about it, they agreed to keep things simple, and indeed, they’d exchanged some small gifts at the Vega house (a 25th anniversary edition of _Ginger Snaps_ for Jade and a re-release of the _Almost Famous_ soundtrack on vinyl for Tori).

“Who said anything about a big gift?” Tori replied, gesturing again. “Go sit.”

Jade groaned, her habitual response when Tori was being cryptic for no real reason. But she held back the “Only because I want to _,”_ as she sat down. Because sitting did feel good.

Tori came back out to the living room, carrying a small, wrapped gift. “See? It’s not big,” she ribbed with one of her playful grins.

Jade rolled her eyes, “Isn’t there something about big things coming in small packages?” But she accepted the gift she was handed. “It’s kinda heavy,” she observed.

“This isn’t anything excessive,” Tori explained, “It’s just...a little personal.”

“Okay,” Jade drew out the word thoughtfully. She watched Tori for a moment, who merely smiled affectionately, then began to tear off the paper.

Inside was a little white box, which Jade opened, and she pulled a smooth, glass paperweight, tinted amber, with a scorpion inside.

“You didn’t,” Jade breathed, staring at it.

Tori nodded, “Went to the Museum of Large Bones and there it was,” she confirmed.

“Tori,” Jade started, thinking of the keychain that had sat in her glove compartment for literal years, that she had no idea _what_ her mom had done with it after she broke down crying in that restaurant with her old Buick dead on the curb outside. She just gazed at the shape of the large, black scorpion in the paperweight, its chitinous armor and sharp defensive adaptations preserved and rendered harmless, encased in amber-colored glass. It was really _nothing_ like Tori, who, even encased in her own armor of black leather and carrying her own dangerous tools of the dominatrix trade, had a softness and vulnerability to her. She always had, and Jade had been lucky enough to be the recipient of so much of Tori’s care over time. But she knew it was true as she said again, “Whenever I see this, I’ll think of you.”

“There’s nobody else I’d want to be trapped in amber for,” Tori said solemnly.

“Oh my god,” Jade started laughing, “You’re so ridiculous.” She leaned in to kiss Tori.

They traded several slow kisses, hearts full from the poignance of Tori’s gift, before Jade pulled away.

“Well,” Jade said slowly, “It turns out I got you something, too.”

“Yeah?” Tori asked, “You didn’t have to.”

“But I did,” Jade replied, fiddling nervously with the bracelet on her wrist. But then, she detached it, and held it out, “Merry Christmas.”

She saw Tori’s eyebrows rise as she moved to take it, but then Jade pulled it away. “I’m just kidding, it’s not my bracelet. I’ll be right back.”

“ _Jade_ ,” Tori said severely, and as Jade walked back toward the bedroom, she heard her grumbling, “Oh my _god_.”

Jade returned with a rectangular gift box that she’d kept tucked away in her dresser drawer. “I can honestly say that when I saw this, I immediately thought of you.”

Tori accepted the box, which was about the size of a large hardback book, and placed it on her lap before she removed the paper and pulled off the lid. There, between sheets of tissue, was a t-shirt with the Statue of Liberty on it, the Manhattan skyline behind her, and the words “New York City” across the bottom. A grin spread across Tori’s face. “I love it.”

“See? I was right,” Jade said, proud of herself. “I’d love it even more if we could get out there together sometime.” It seemed that Tori loved that idea, too, with the way she pounced on Jade and attacked her with kisses.

Once things settled after the gift exchange, Tori began to draw the bath, asking Jade if she wanted bath salts and then stepping out of the bathroom, leaving the water running. Jade had been organizing her gifts a little bit, deciding what would go in the guest house and what she could find homes for in the main house. When she was ready, she stripped down and headed into the bathroom, testing the temperature of the bathwater with her foot before getting in. It was quite a large tub, so it was still filling, and the water felt soft and soothing, and the whole space was fragrant heaven, like mint and lavender and cedar, with whatever soap Tori had put in the bubbly bathwater.

But even though Jade had been looking forward to just soaking in the bath since Tori mentioned it, it didn’t feel right. So she called for Tori.

“Everything okay?” Tori asked as she came in.

Jade cranked the water just a little hotter. “This tub is big enough for two, yeah?”

“In theory,” Tori said slowly, “Since I haven’t had an opportunity to check.”

“I’m not asking for anything sexy here, but...get in with me?” Jade requested.

Tori grinned broadly and began taking off her clothes, then stepped over to the tub, tying back her hair. Jade scooted forward to make some room for her, turning off the water, and Tori slid into the bathtub, settling in behind Jade, urging her to lean back against Tori’s body, arms slipping around her in the water.

Jade sighed, closing her eyes, feeling Tori’s skin, soft and smooth against her own, feeling the warmth of the water, just on the verge of too hot, exactly the way Jade liked it. She breathed in the fragrance in the steam coming off of the water, feeling soothed by it as much as anything else. Tori’s arms settled just beneath her breasts, not overtly sexual, but intimate, and words like _safe_ and _home_ and _care_ flitted through Jade’s mind as she tried to discern how she was feeling, wrapped up with Tori in a hot bath on Christmas day.

Tori pressed a kiss to her temple, which made Jade smile, and then rested her chin on Jade’s shoulder, leaning her head against Jade’s affectionately.

“This is one way to spend Christmas,” Jade finally murmured in a quiet voice.

Tori hummed in response. “Always wanted a bathtub big enough to share, so I jumped at the chance when I redid this bathroom. Of course, I also never expected to have a jacuzzi, so…”

“You’re welcome,” Jade grinned.

“At least in the bathtub, there are no rules about _being soup_.”

“You can’t tell me what to do in the bath,” Jade refuted.

“No, but,” Tori’s arms tightened around her, “Being soup was never a group activity.”

Jade knew Tori was right. Being soup, for her, was always all about shutting out the world, retreating to an almost nihilist fantasy that she found weirdly relaxing. This was very much an experience of basking in Tori, her love, and the home they shared. “Yeah,” Jade admitted, “I’m not soup. I’m just in love, and it’s Christmas.”

Tori squeezed her gently, but it lingered. “I love you even if you are soup, Jade.”

As they rested together, Jade processed their day, the news about Grandma Jean’s trust fund. She was still ruminating over how much it meant to her, torn between amusement and incredulity at the detail that, had Tori married someone else, Grandma Jean would still have tried to find a way to force them to interact. Jade wondered what might have happened if she and Tori hadn’t reunited so spectacularly at the reunion, if instead they’d existed in the same city together, attending the same family events because their immediate families had long since merged. Would they have been able to resist the pull at, say, an intimate holiday gathering like Christmas, with all its nostalgia and abundant cannabis?

But that wasn’t what had happened. Instead, she and Tori were in _their_ house, which had been gifted to them by Grandma Jean, in one of her many attempts to safeguard Tori and Jade’s connection. Jade was reminded of the feeling of those Santa Ana winds, of looking at the _Homicidal_ lobby card in her guest house, and almost believing, for a just a moment, that Grandma Jean was watching out for them from whatever afterlife might exist.

“You ever feel like Grandma Jean is watching us? Like when these crazy things happen with the trust fund?” Jade asked.

Tori didn’t reply, but Jade could feel her go still, almost alert, as if she were trying to sense the presence of her dead grandmother in the bathroom with them. Slowly, Tori’s hands rose out of the water and cupped over Jade’s breasts, covering them.

“Seriously?” Jade asked.

“She doesn’t need to see your boobs.”

“She’s seen a _lot_ more than my boobs if her spirit is lingering in this house, or whatever,” Jade laughed, then she thought of something. “Oh god. If that’s true, she’s seen you _spank_ me.”

“ _That’s_ what you’re worried about?” Tori asked skeptically, “What about the time you gave me a _blowjob_?”

Jade scoffed, “I’m sure she gave _plenty_ of those in her time.”

“ _Jade_!” Tori cried shrilly, arms tightening around her in retaliation. But it was laughter that filled the room, and even as they lightly thrashed and splashed in the bathtub before they melted back into cuddles and kisses, Jade felt only love on this Christmas night.

And if Grandma Jean _was_ watching, she decided, that was just love, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _All I Want for Christmas Is You_ by Mariah Carey. 
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> “You’re probably not going to like where I am,” came Jade’s voice through the phone.
> 
> Tori frowned. She was in her office at Moustache Media, changing out of her Mistress Tawny clothes. Today had been a day that a couple of regular clients had scheduled sessions, wanting some relief from holiday stress. Although it was just after Christmas, Mistress Tawny was happy to oblige. She’d had a few sessions with clients in the month of December, fewer than usual, but she felt it was important to be there for clients who needed her, especially since she would need to pause appointments while she hosted the Bra Candy Fashion Show in the Fungeon at the beginning of January. “Why am I not going to like where you are?” Tori asked uncertainly.
> 
> “I’m at PetMergency with Hamster,” Jade replied.
> 
> “You’re-- _what_? Is he okay?” Tori asked, voice pitched higher, more frantic.
> 
> “He’s fine. He was due for a booster shot, which I went ahead and got for him.” She hesitated, “He’s microchipped, Tori.”
> 
> “Oh,” Tori said quietly, deflating a little. “Okay.” 
> 
> Jade continued, “Are you almost done at work? I have the address that’s registered to his chip.”
> 
> “I’m almost done,” Tori said, “I’ll meet you back at home?”
> 
> “Be there soon.”
> 
> When Tori got home, she didn’t go inside, instead electing to wait for Jade in the driveway. PetMergency wasn’t that far away; Tori had driven by it enough times to know where it was and to recognize it as the place she and Beck had gotten into a weird argument with a bunch of strangers in a waiting room before Jade drove her to their overlook for the first time and asked Tori to be her girlfriend. She glanced down at her newly-resized engagement ring. In a weird way, it almost felt like going full circle. Except that only Jade and Hamster had actually been in the veterinarian’s office.


	18. Fifteen: Kinda sweet stuff, kinda freaky-deaky shit, You can trust me, I can be a kinky bitch

“You’re probably not going to like where I am,” came Jade’s voice through the phone.

Tori frowned. She was in her office at Moustache Media, changing out of her Mistress Tawny clothes. Today had been a day where a couple of regular clients had scheduled sessions, wanting some relief from holiday stress. Although it was just after Christmas, Mistress Tawny was happy to oblige. She’d had a few appointments with clients in the month of December, fewer than usual, but she felt it was important to be there for clients who needed her, especially since she would need to pause any session scheduling while she hosted the Bra Candy Fashion Show in the Fungeon at the beginning of January. “Why am I not going to like where you are?” Tori asked uncertainly.

“I’m at Pet Mergency with Hamster,” Jade replied.

“You’re-- _what_? Is he okay?” Tori asked, voice pitched higher, more frantic.

“He’s fine. He was due for a booster shot, which I went ahead and got for him.” She hesitated, “He’s microchipped, Tori.”

“Oh,” Tori said quietly, deflating a little. “Okay.” 

Jade continued, “Are you almost done at work? I have the address that’s registered to his chip.”

“I’m almost done,” Tori said, “I’ll meet you back at home?”

“Be there soon.”

When Tori got home, she didn’t go inside, instead electing to wait for Jade in the driveway. Pet Mergency wasn’t that far away; Tori had driven by it enough times to know where it was and to recognize it as the place she and Beck had gotten into a weird argument with a bunch of strangers in a waiting room before Jade drove her to their overlook for the first time and asked Tori to be her girlfriend. She glanced down at her newly-resized engagement ring. In a weird way, it almost felt like going full circle. Except that only Jade and Hamster had actually been in the veterinarian’s office this time around.

Jade pulled into the driveway in her giant truck and Tori opened the passenger door and stepped up to climb in. There was a large plastic cat carrier on the passenger’s seat. 

“Uh,” Tori started unsure about where to put the cat.

“Hang on, let’s move him into the back,” Jade said, “Unless you want to carry him on your lap?”

Tori could hear Hamster meowing pitifully in the carrier. “How far do we have to go?”

“He’s registered to a house on the next street over,” Jade replied.

“I’ll hold him,” Tori decided, figuring it was easier than moving him around a lot. Jade held the carrier while she got situated and then passed it to Tori, who peered at the cat through the metal grid of the carrier door. “Hey, Hamster,” she greeted him softly.

He yowled in response, an unhappy, drawn-out sound. She glanced at Jade. “How did you even do this? _Why_ did you even do this?”

Jade shrugged, “I bought the carrier and a couple of different things to lure him with--tuna and catnip, mainly. He wasn’t interested in the tuna, but he went into the carrier for the catnip and I got it closed while he was rolling around on that catnip-covered blanket in there.” Jade was focused on her backup camera as she pulled back out of the driveway, but as she shifted into drive, she glanced at Tori. “As for _why_ , well. I know that you care about this guy and I felt like he should probably see a vet. And I know that you kept saying he wasn’t your cat, but...I guess I thought maybe I would find out he _could_ be.”

“Jade,” Tori said softly, then peered back down at Hamster in the carrier. His eyes were huge and he was huddled in the back of the thing. He gave another ear-splitting yowl.

“Yeah, hold on buddy, we’re taking you home,” Jade sighed, “He was like this the whole time in the car, just crying his little head off.” She was about to turn onto the street parallel to theirs, and she glanced at Tori again. “I also figured if I handled this, then Hamster could just hate me and still be your cat friend.”

“He probably hates me by now, too,” Tori replied regretfully, lifting her head so that Hamster wouldn’t have to see her anymore.

Jade shrugged, “You should let him out of the carrier, he’ll love you then. Okay…” she was starting to slow as she drove down the street. “My phone says it should be...here?” She leaned forward to peer past Tori out of the passenger side window.

“Here?” Tori asked doubtfully. There was a minivan with its doors opened sitting in the driveway and she could see a lot of boxes inside.

“Hang on, let me park,” Jade muttered, driving on a little further until she squeezed herself into a parking space in front of the next house. She circled around to Tori’s side to take Hamster’s carrier while Tori climbed out, and the two of them walked down the street until they were standing in the driveway with the van.

A harried-looking man probably about Tori’s father’s age was carrying a box out of the open front door of the house moving toward the van but he stopped when he saw the two of them. “Who are you?” he asked, not hostile, but not exactly welcoming, either.

“Hi,” Tori waved as disarmingly as she could, “I think we might have your cat?”

The man’s shoulders drooped, “Oh, god. Okay. Hang on.”

Tori and Jade stood in the driveway while the man stood at the sliding door of the van and, from the sound of it, shuffled a lot of things around. It was taking a _while_ , and meanwhile, Hamster in the carrier in Jade’s hand was emitting all sorts of unhappy sounds. “Want some...help with that?” Tori offered.

The man sighed heavily. “Colby!” he shouted, which made Jade exchange a glance with Tori, then glance at Hamster. But then a young man, probably college-aged, came striding out of the house over to the older man, glancing quizzically at Jade and Tori. “Here, find someplace this box will actually _fit_ , please?” the man instructed, sounding exasperated, then turned to Jade and Tori. “All right, follow me.”

Warily, they followed the man who really did not seem to be having a good day. At the front door, which was still standing open, the man called, “Dad!” Tori and Jade stayed on the porch as he went inside, uncertain, until the man waved them in, and then they stood just inside the doorway. It was similar in layout to Tori’s house, at least back when it had been Grandma Jean’s house, before the renovations, and it was clear from the lack of furniture and the plethora of boxes that someone was moving out. And when an old man hobbled toward them from down the hallway that would lead to bedrooms, Tori thought she knew who, exactly, was moving.

He wasn’t using a cane, and he wasn’t walking all that well without it. He frowned uncertainly at Tori and Jade, but as soon as he saw the carrier in Jade’s hand, his eyes lit up, “Is that my Roger?” he asked.

“Is that his name?” Tori asked. Jade nodded, probably because she’d seen his microchip data.

The old man nodded, “Oh, he’s such a sweet boy. Why are you here with him?”

“Well,” Jade replied, “He comes to our house a lot. Which is great, we enjoy his company. But I had him checked by a vet because we were never sure if anyone owned him and he was registered to you on his microchip. You’re Thomas, right?”

“I am,” the old man confirmed.

“He is,” the younger man agreed. “He’s also moving out to Elderly Acres. Where he can’t have a cat, especially one that won’t come inside.”

“He’s outdoor only then?” Tori asked.

“He’s wandered into the house a handful of times,” Thomas replied, “But he’s never been happy indoors. He was a young tom when I met him, a little shy, but not feral. I could get him to let me pet him and play with him outside, but not inside. Only time I could keep him in the house was after I got him neutered and he was sleeping off the sedation. Tried to keep him inside longer so I could make sure his incision healed, but he wouldn’t have it.” He shook his head, “But he’s spent time with me every day since.”

“He comes to see us a lot, too,” Jade replied.

“Where do you live?” Thomas asked.

“Next street over,” Jade pointed toward the back of the house.

“Huh, he does go that way a lot. Figured somebody over there might be feeding him.”

“Might be more than just us, but yeah, we have been,” Tori admitted.

“Well, thank you for bringing him back,” said Thomas’s son, who sounded like he wanted to wrap up the little reunion, “But unfortunately, my dad isn’t going to be able to take care of him anymore. If you’re already feeding him, then he’s in good hands, right, Dad?”

Thomas nodded sadly, “My Roger is such a good boy. I’ll miss him.”

“You’ll like Elderly Acres,” Tori said encouragingly, “My grandma lived there for the last several years of her life, and she had a great time.”

Thomas harrumphed. His son said quietly, “He’s not that thrilled to go, but he fell not long ago, so we knew it was time.”

“I can hear you, and I was fine after my fall,” Thomas replied stubbornly.

“You haven’t walked the same since!” his son protested.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what are you planning to do with the house?” Tori asked.

The younger man eyed her, “Why, are you in the market to buy?”

“No, but I know someone who might be,” Tori replied.

“Well, we’re planning to sell. Just need to get Dad all moved out and everything before we put it on the market, but...what did you say your name was?”

“Tori.” She offered her hand, “And this is Jade.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Rich. If you want to give me your email address or something, I can give you some notice when we’re going to list the house. If you really think you have somebody interested…”

“That would be great,” Tori replied.

After letting Thomas bid Hamster (or “Roger”) a final goodbye, they ended up taking Hamster back to the car with them, figuring they’d let him out in their yard so he would be out of the way of everyone at the other house. Jade ended up pulling right into a driveway to turn around, since it would be quicker than circling the full block, and they waved awkwardly at Rich and Colby in the driveway of the house as they passed, even though they probably couldn’t be seen through the truck’s tinted windows.

But as they pulled into their own driveway, Jade said, “Wait a minute.”

“What?” Tori asked.

“We’re four houses from the end of the block. Weren’t they four houses down, too?”

“I don’t know,” Tori replied, “Were they?”

“Come on,” Jade stepped out of the car and circled around to take the carrier from Tori one more time. Tori opened the gate for her and they carried Hamster into the backyard. Jade set the cat carrier down and stepped back, letting Tori do the honors.

Tori opened up Hamster’s carrier and stepped back. He poked his head out uncertainly, sniffing the air, and then sprinted away without a glance behind him. “Well, I don’t think I’m his hero right now at all,” Tori said sadly.

“Don’t worry. He’ll be back,” Jade said, “Now more importantly, come look over the back wall with me.”

“I’m not tall enough to--oh!” Jade had grabbed her by the hips and lifted her up.

“See anything?” Jade grunted, as Tori grabbed the top of the wall to balance herself.

Indeed, Tori could see something. Namely, Colby in the backyard, throwing something away in the trash can. He caught sight of her and Tori waved, “Hi!” she called awkwardly, but he merely nodded, unconcerned.

Jade put her down, “Well?”

“I saw Colby in the backyard. Thomas was definitely our neighbor.” A realization struck her forcefully. “Oh my god. What if Carly of _iCarly_ moved into the house _behind us_?”

“Oh,” Jade trilled excitedly, then shifted to her impression of Tori, “Well, you could knock down part of this wall and install a gate and we could all be best friends!”

“ _Could_ we?” Tori asked eagerly.

Jade eyed her and laughed.

-

It was afternoon, a few days after Christmas (so that Jade was less sore) before they made it to Moustache Media for Jade’s workout. She’d been dragging her feet a little about it, if she was being honest. There was no doubt that working out would ultimately be good, but that didn’t mean she was looking forward to it. She even took her time with her coffee to delay leaving the house, but really, there was no getting around it. She’d agreed to it, and Tori was twisting her arm to make sure it actually happened.

The best thing about it so far was getting to look at Tori in her workout clothes. She’d been doing yoga in the yard a little less as daytime winter temperatures fluctuated, so Jade took the opportunity to stare at her ass in those yoga pants as Tori walked ahead of her to open the door to the Moustache Media building.

Once inside, Tori guided her down the hallway to the door that led to her Virtual Encounters set-ups, and she shucked off her hoodie and tossed it onto Mary Jane’s couch. When she turned around, Jade noticed her shirt.

“Wait a minute,” Jade said slowly.

Tori glanced down and grinned, “Oh, yeah. Remember this shirt?”

Jade was looking at a Venice Beach tank top with some corny palm trees silhouetted against a flashy rainbow sun, the print on the shirt worn and cracked with age. “I gave you that, right?”

“You sure did,” Tori chuckled, “One of the times we went to renew our medical cannabis cards.”

“Right.” Jade remembered that, walking past all the tourist trap shops on the Venice Beach boardwalk, and the delightfully tacky shirt catching her eye. “Because you like shirts with places on them.”

Tori just laughed and rolled her eyes, “Uh-huh. Okay, you ready for this?”

Jade groaned, “Hold on,” she said, removing her own leather jacket and taking a sip from the water bottle she’d brought. She turned to see Tori standing in a wide stance, stretching her legs, and merely watched for a moment. She was oddly touched to know that Tori still had this particular tank top, one she hadn’t seen the whole time she’d been living there. She wondered if, like the weird, sexy dress, it had been unearthed when they were cleaning out Tori’s closet.

Tori noticed her watching. “You should probably stretch,” she suggested, “So you don’t end up sore.”

Jade sighed, but began mimicking Tori’s movements. “Right. We wouldn’t want _that_ ,” she grumbled, shooting Tori a hard look.

Tori’s response was merely a smirk as she guided Jade through a few more stretches, then she led Jade over to what looked like a pretty standard weight bench. “I thought we’d start out with some leg exercises,” she suggested, gesturing to where she wanted Jade to sit and then removing a bit of weight. “Just extend your legs and it’ll work your quads,” she patted Jade’s thigh for emphasis.

“So this is your plan to make it so I’m not sore after a night in bed with you?” Jade mused challengingly.

“Something like that,” Tori’s lip twitched into a smile. “This is a warm-up. If most of your exercise over the past several years involved walking, then your legs are a great place to start.”

Jade decided that was logical enough, and began the exercise Tori explained, with Tori checking in on how the weight felt, and encouraging her to finish a certain number of reps. Then, she flipped over to lift in a way that worked the back of her thighs (and, okay, Tori patting the back of her leg, just under her ass, was good incentive to do well). 

Next, they moved onto arm exercises with free weights, which was a little less Jade’s speed. She’d never particularly been disappointed in her arm strength; she could haul around her camera gear pretty effortlessly, and that was all she really needed. So as Tori guided her through some exercises--most of which she had definitely seen Tori perform in her Captain Catherine videos--Jade was beginning to feel a bit resistant. This was less fun, more difficult, and Tori’s relentless encouragement and optimism fueled Jade’s workout. But not really from a place of wanting to please Tori, more from a stubborn place, that wanted this to just be _over_ already.

By the time Jade was on her back on the weight bench, being spotted by Tori for a few bench-presses, she was gritting her teeth. “Fuck,” she panted with a lift, “This!” she snarled on the next one.

Tori looked alarmed, but maintained her encouraging air, “Come on, you’ve got this, just a few more. This is great for your pecs.”

“Yeah, because bigger tits are something I really need,” Jade scoffed, the bar resting gently on said breasts. She could feel sweat on her hairline, under her arms, under her boobs. She hated it.

Tori smirked at this, but it was weak. “It’s not about _that_ ,” she assured Jade.

“Sure it’s not,” Jade got out after another lift. “You’d _hate_ that.”

“Come on, two more,” Tori encouraged, ignoring Jade’s comment.

“ _Uuuuugh_ ,” Jade growled furiously, “Fuck these weights!” But she completed the final two lifts Tori asked of her before sitting up, glaring murderously.

Tori looked a little hesitant as she guided Jade over to an ab machine. Jade let her hatred of exercise power her through the ab workouts, followed by the complicated-looking machine that was meant to work her back. She snarled and swore and screamed through the rest of the workouts, feeling the aggression and anxiety and frustration with the world that she always carried with her drain out of her with the energy she expended. By the time the workout was over, Jade felt great. Drained, but pleasant.

“Come on,” she encouraged Tori, “Let’s go home and get into the jacuzzi before we lose all our sunlight.”

“Okay,” Tori replied weakly.

-

The sun was already starting to set by the time they made it home and put on their bathing suits to get in the jacuzzi, leaving a chill in the air that made them both especially eager to get into the heated water. Tori hadn’t even really had a workout herself, beyond using the machines or lifting the free weights just to show Jade how it was done, but she felt _exhausted_ like she’d been lifting right alongside her fiancee. 

They’d settled on opposite sides of the jacuzzi automatically, the halves they’d established for themselves back when Jade bought it. Tori felt herself slowly beginning to relax as she soaked in the jacuzzi, and she watched Jade. She would never be over how elegant her neck looked when she tied her hair back. How serene her expression looked as she let herself enjoy the water. The softness of her mouth, the smoothness of her brow. 

Finally, Tori spoke, “So...I don’t suppose you’re ever going to want to do _that_ again.”

Jade’s eyes blinked open, reflecting darkly in the fading daylight, her expression shifting to confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, you clearly _hated_ that workout. It’s okay, we don’t have to do it again, I just thought it might--”

“Tori,” Jade interrupted, “What are you _talking_ about? I feel great! That was an amazing workout.”

Tori stared in confusion. “But all you did the whole time was scream about how awful it was!”

Jade eyed her skeptically, “Yeah, _no one_ likes working out when it’s actually happening. It’s the results and how it feels when it’s over that makes it worth it.”

“ _I_ like working out,” Tori replied with a little frown.

“Oh,” Jade replied, one shoulder lifting out of the water in a shrug, “Well, you’re a freak, but that’s no surprise.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry.”

“I just really thought you hated me the whole time today.”

“I’d _never_ hate _you_ ,” Jade retorted emphatically, “The process itself just...I’ve got a _lot_ of tension stored in my body. You know. From a lifetime of anxiety and all that?” It was something Tori had heard Jade mention in passing during all the years they’d known each other. And not something that was at all surprising, given everything she knew about her. Jade’s expression had turned concerned as she looked at Tori, “Sorry if...I hurt your feelings or something. I was just...releasing a lot of pent up emotions, I guess.”

“Okay. I can wrap my head around that,” Tori replied quietly. “So...would you want to keep doing this with me, then?”

“If you’re up for it, sure,” Jade replied, “But not if I’m actually _hurting_ you or anything.”

“Now that I know it’s just your process, I think I’ll be fine,” Tori smirked, “Besides, if I do it right, _I_ get to be the one who brings _you_ pain.”

“Oh, you did,” Jade smirked. She was thoughtful for a moment. “What even is the difference between a personal trainer and a domme, really?”

“Eroticism?” Tori ventured incredulously.

Jade shrugged, “It’s _you_ , so…” she trailed off meaningfully.

Tori’s response was to splash water at Jade, which led to retaliation, which led to a squirming, tickling, jacuzzi fight that subsided into kissing and snuggling that lasted until the sun fully set and they headed back inside. It had been almost like aftercare, and Tori couldn’t think of a better end to her workout with Jade.

Later that week, they were back at the Vega house during the afternoon. While Trina was still in town, she and Sam wanted to film a few episodes of _You Cook It, I Eat It_ , but since their regular camera setup was in Trina’s apartment in Las Vegas, they’d asked Jade to film it for them. Tori had come along to watch them and help Jade, if needed. Her parents were out, so they had the house to themselves.

Sam had brought Cat along, so after Tori helped Jade with the initial setup of her equipment, she took a seat on the couch with Cat. Sam and Trina were at the kitchen table, apparently reviewing what they were going to cook and how they were going to time it all. But before any actual filming got underway, there was a knock at the door.

“You’ll get it,” Trina directed at Tori, like she used to do when they were younger. Tori rolled her eyes, but she was the closest to the door, so she stood up from the couch to answer it. 

Behind it stood Jeremy and Dice. “Hi,” Tori greeted, baffled.

“Hey, Tori,” Jeremy nodded, “We’re here for Trina.”

“For Trina,” Tori repeated, glancing behind her. “Now?”

“Sure,” Jeremy shrugged.

Trina glanced up as they came in, “Oh, hey guys, one second.”

“Hi, Dice! Hi, Jeremy!” Cat greeted them both, while Sam offered them a wave before being drawn back into conversation with Trina.

“What are you doing here?” Jade asked her brother.

“Trina wanted me to introduce her to Dice. You know, to help her with her storage unit.”

“Jeremy says there’s probably some great stuff in there,” Dice said enthusiastically, “I’m really eager to check it out.”

“Okay, well, _first_ ,” Trina declared bossily, “I have a webshow to film.”

“You don’t want to talk to them about it before that?” Sam wondered.

“No, I want to cook something so you can eat it,” Trina insisted.

“What are you making?” Jeremy asked.

“A couple of things,” Trina said dismissively.

“Cool, can I stay and watch?” he asked eagerly.

“Whatever,” Trina said, then paused, regarding Jeremy curiously. “How much do you know about cooking?” she asked.

“Uh, not a lot,” Jeremy admitted.

“Dad said you were interested in learning more,” Trina stated. It sounded almost accusatory. Tori remembered seeing Jeremy in the kitchen with their dad during Christmas, though she was more impressed that Trina had remembered something their father likely said in passing about Jeremy.

“I just think it would be a good skill to have. Our mom can do basic stuff, but…” Jeremy trailed off, gesturing between himself and Jade.

Trina turned to Sam. “We should have a guest on.”

“Him?” Sam asked, sounding confused. “No offense, dude, but...why?”

“Because,” Trina replied haughtily, “I’m getting so good at cooking it’s not a challenge anymore, and even you’re picking up a lot of stuff.”

“Sam knows a lot about cooking,” Cat put in, “She just likes eating more.”

“Yeah, hence the premise of the show,” Trina said impatiently, “I’m just saying we could use a beginner’s voice when we can get it. Someone who can make all the mistakes we don’t anymore, so people can learn.”

Sam seemed to consider this, eyeing Jeremy. “You want to be on the show?” she asked him directly.

Jeremy looked a little pink, but he managed to say. “It kind of sounds really cool, actually. What do I have to do?”

“Mostly just do what we say and ask questions,” Trina informed him, “Here, come sit, we’ll go over this really quick.”

“Can you _take_ any longer with this?” Jade griped, though she was smiling proudly in her brother’s direction.

“I guess I’ll just...chill,” Dice announced, settling on the couch next to Cat, who patted his curly hair.

Jade came over to lean on the back of the couch. “So, my brother playing the straight man to Trina and Sam. This could be interesting.”

“I hope he knows what he’s getting himself into,” Tori grinned. But, she considered that he probably did. He’d celebrated holidays with Trina like they were siblings for years now, and he’d known Sam for almost as long, through Dice. He might not have the same kind of performance experience or training as Sam or Trina, but he was certainly very familiar with how both of them operated.

“It’ll be good for him, I think,” Jade mused, watching the three of them talking at the dining room table. “He’s still trying to figure out where his passion is in life, so he should try some things.”

“Yeah, sometimes that can take awhile,” Cat said sympathetically.

As they began filming, Tori thought Jeremy actually fit in rather well with the group. She was also enjoying watching their process for filming. She was well familiar with how things behind the scenes tended to look when producing web content, but the chaos of a cooking show was very different from the way Tori approached sex education videos. Trina’s performance persona, she knew, was very similar to the way Trina always was, but watching Sam made her realize how much of an act Sam was putting on as she played the goofy sidekick who just wanted the food to be done, already.

She’d already considered having Sam on as a guest as she restructured and made new content for Moustache Media, but Tori found herself sort of daydreaming about bringing Sam on as a co-host.

But, maybe that was leftover _iCarly_ fangirl feelings. It was awfully hard to tell sometimes, and Tori was still putting pieces together for how much that webshow shaped her life. Working remotely with Carly, though it had been minimal so far, was dredging up a lot of that kind of nostalgia. She wanted to make the kind of content that shaped people, that changed them, that helped them and educated them.

Maybe she would bring Sam in for some of it. If nothing else, Tori could dream.

The next afternoon, she and Jade were soaking in the jacuzzi (the weather was mild enough that it wasn't a drastic shock to the system when getting in or out), absently listening to a playlist on Jade's PearPhone. Tori wondered if it was titled something like "Songs for Being Soup." Whatever it was, it was pleasant and relaxing. Something about the soothing nature of the experience made Tori want to shed her bikini top, but as she began to pull the straps down, Jade eyed her.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking my top off."

"Tori, we're outside."

"In our own yard." Tori shed her bathing suit top and draped it over the edge of the jacuzzi.

"Well, if there's an emergency, everyone's seeing your boobs."

"It feels really nice. You should try it."

Jade grunted out a laugh. "Yeah, right. I go topless in here and the girls will be bouncing all over the place. Not relaxing."

"I think you should try it," came a voice from the other side of the wall that separated their yard from the one behind them.

Tori startled and reached for her bikini top, but it slipped off the edge and down onto the grass. "Who is that?" she demanded, her hands covering herself.

"It's us!" came another voice, this one bouncier, lighter. 

Cat. Which meant the other voice was Sam. There was the sound of something dragging and then knocking up against the wall before two heads appeared above the brick partition between the yards. 

Sam grinned. "Don't let us interrupt."

"What in the hell are you guys doing back there?" Jade questioned.

"We were doing a video walkthrough with Carly so she could see the place," Sam answered.

Cat nodded. "She loves it!"

"Yeah, but babe, remember, that doesn't mean she's getting it. There's all that shit about putting in the offer and stuff." Sam rubbed at her head. "I'm not even the one actually doing that part and it's giving me a headache."

"Aw, Tori, you might be neighbors with Carly from _iCarly_ ," Jade teased, poking at Tori's leg with her foot.

"Wouldn't it be so fun?" Cat exclaimed. 

There was another voice from Sam and Cat's side of the wall. "Shit, that's the realtor. We've gotta go." Instantly, Sam was gone. 

Cat was right behind her, but not before calling out, "Bye!"

Once they were clearly gone, Tori relaxed. Until Jade prodded with, "I hope that realtor doesn't try to sneak a peek."

"Jade!" Tori flicked water at her, but then decided she didn't want to get into the kind of splash fight that she knew her partner was capable of. "It would be kind of cool, though."

"Oh, now you're just hoping Carly casually catches you out here with your top off." Jade's eyes were closed, but she was smirking.

"Well, I hadn't thought of that, but maybe it's a nice idea," Tori tossed back.

"Shhh, I'm--"

"--being soup. I know."

-

The purple and black jute rope around her wrists was soft, but tough, that hint of friction giving it an edge of danger, a tactile reminder that this was real, that Jade’s wrists were bound together. Tori’s fingers were nimble as she checked the restraints, slipping between the rope and Jade’s wrist to ensure there was space, that nothing was too tight. She lifted her gaze to meet Jade’s, her eyes filled with the fire of desire but also compassion. “Everything feel okay?” she asked softly.

Jade nodded, “Yep,” she replied, trying to keep her voice as casual as possible, a reassurance, but also because she didn’t quite want to reveal how much the simple act of Tori tying rope around her wrists affected her.

“If it gets to be too much…” Tori started significantly.

“I know,” Jade leaned forward from where she was kneeling on the bed, fingers settling on either side of Tori’s jaw as she kissed her. “I’ll be fine,” she assured her.

Since the Christmas munch, Jade had been serious about getting back into kinky play with Tori. And Tori had been pleased about it as well, though maybe a little bit reluctant when it came to bondage. Tori had been a bit reticent about the rationale, but Jade was pretty sure she understood. Though it hadn’t been the bondage aspect that had caused her to freak out when they’d played with sensory deprivation, it had been involved in the failed scene. Jade couldn’t know what things must’ve looked like for Tori to feel the need to call the safeword, but she could imagine how someone futilely struggling against bindings in a way that was not at all sexy might impact the top entrusted with the person’s safety and wellbeing.

In any case, Jade didn’t really connect the two things in her own mind. It had been an unfortunate side effect of being tied up that she couldn’t remove her own blindfold, but her desire for restraint on its own hadn’t gone away at all. And now, they were kneeling together on the bed, nude and kissing, Tori holding the ends of the length of rope that looped and twisted, serpentine, around Jade’s wrists. They’d taken their time getting to this point, with a lot of kissing and touching as their clothes came off, until Jade had to practically demand that Tori get on with tying her up. Not that she really minded the foreplay. But she wasn’t about to beg.

She pulled back from the kiss to see Tori wearing a satisfied smile. “Good,” she murmured, gently tugging the rope so that Jade’s hands fell away from holding Tori’s face. “Because now I get to do whatever I want with you,” Tori growled.

Tori pulled the rope, and Jade found herself being not-so-gently guided onto her back, toward the pillows, and her heart rate immediately quickened, even before she realized that Tori was doing exactly what Jade had asked her to, and was tying her to the headboard, quick, confident fingers tying a sturdy knot.

And then Tori was simply kneeling next to her, looking down at her, lips quirked into a grin.

Jade struggled.

Not hard, not because she particularly wanted to get free, but just to test the limits of her position. Her wrists were bound close to the headboard, though not so close that she ended up punching it as she moved. But there was a delicious tension in the way she wanted to reach for Tori, but _couldn’t_ , and in the way Tori’s eyes roved over her nude body as if she were something delicious to be savored.

Jade whimpered, because it was beginning to occur to her just how _helpless_ she was, and just how much Tori liked to play with her when she was under her sway like this.

She hoped she had the endurance for this, because with her feelings of powerlessness and exposure came a flood of desire, of wanting to offer her entire self up to Tori to be used at Tori’s discretion, to be a tool for Tori’s pleasure, to be utterly objectified, played with, even consensually tormented, in pursuit of erotic bliss.

And with the way Tori’s eyes settled on Jade’s breasts, she had a feeling objectification was already occurring. 

Tori took her time, shifting a little further down the bed, eyes roaming all of Jade’s skin as if Jade hadn’t already been naked for awhile already. Jade arched slightly, hungrily, breath catching slightly like she wanted to moan as she felt Tori’s gaze on her. The way she had all of Tori’s attention but none of her physical affection made everything feel even more intense, amplified.

“Well,” Tori drawled slowly, eyes finally lifting to meet Jade’s. Her smirk deepened. “Look at you,” she cooed, “All tied up and nowhere to go.”

Jade tried not to let the teasing impact her, though she let out an audible, frustrated breath through her nose. It was clear from the savage delight in Tori’s eyes that she picked up on it, however.

“I love how you’re trying so hard to pretend this doesn’t affect you,” Tori said almost conversationally, “Being tied up like this, so _vulnerable_. All this pretty pale skin.” Her hand passed above Jade’s body, so close Jade could feel the warmth of her, the movement of the air, but Tori didn’t actually touch her. “And you, just _dying_ for me to touch it.”

It was an impulse she couldn’t ignore, and Jade arched her body up, her hip bumping Tori’s palm as it skimmed past the area. Tori’s eyebrows rose, but her face still wore a smirk.

“I know you’re desperate, but if you do that again, I can make you regret it,” she said quietly.

“Oh, really?” The challenge was out of Jade’s mouth before she could help it. But she couldn’t even let herself regret it, because it was like it literally charged the air between them, tension thick and potent. She smirked right back at Tori, knowing that this was exactly what Tori expected, and probably, what Tori _wanted_ or she wouldn’t have taunted Jade like this.

But instead, Tori’s face fell. “We don’t have to do this, you know,” she said.

Jade felt her heart twist as the heat left her chest, “What?” she asked stupidly, surprised by the change in tone.

But Tori gestured all down Jade’s body. “This. I don’t need this, you know.” And she straddled Jade’s stomach, without even _touching_ her, and then swung her other leg over until she rolled gracefully onto her side right next to Jade, on the other side of the bed. “I don’t need to touch you to get off,” she said softly, hand already running down her side, “And I certainly don’t need to let you watch.” She paused. “In fact, look away,” she ordered. “ _Now_ ,” she commanded, when Jade didn’t move.

Jade obeyed the second time, the cold anxiety Tori had momentarily created warming back up, as she helplessly stared at the ceiling, listening to Tori’s breaths. She couldn’t know what Tori was doing without looking, and all she could really do to show her displeasure was to strain against her bindings and whimper slightly. But it wasn’t until she actually spoke, begging through her teeth, “Tori, _please_ ,” that Tori sat up, looking down at Jade triumphantly.

“Does that mean you’re ready to behave?” she asked sweetly. Jade just glared in response, refusing to say any more. Tori shook her head, clicking her tongue in disappointment. “It’s a shame you’re not a good girl,” she hummed, slipping the tips of two of her fingers into her mouth, “Or I’d have let you have a taste.”

Jade let out a frustrated groan at this, which made Tori chuckle, but then Jade nearly jumped at the sensation of Tori’s hand just under her ribs, skimming up to grasp her breast, not gently, but not punishingly, either. Jade panted and squirmed as Tori’s hand took its time with both breasts, unable to redirect in her position, unable to reciprocate, just there, being watched and touched by Tori.

It almost surprised her when Tori moved again, straddling one of Jade’s thighs in a position so familiar that Jade expected to feel the wetness of Tori grinding down against her, but instead, she felt Tori’s mouth trailing along Jade’s stomach, teeth nipping at her ribs, until she reached Jade’s breasts again, and that same kind of tortuous intensity was applied, but with her mouth this time, tongue flicking rapidly over nipples, teeth sinking into the swell of her flesh.

Jade accepted the attention, hearing the small sounds of pleasure Tori made in her throat as she enjoyed the freedom she had to just have her way with Jade’s breasts, theoretically for as long as she wanted. Jade was enjoying this, absolutely, but it was only making her wetter, and giving her no sense of relief, just escalating her need. She couldn’t even rub her legs together, not with Tori’s knee _right there_ , probably close enough to feel the heat of Jade, and she didn’t have enough slack in her rope to shift down to rock against Tori. So Jade took the only course of action she could think of, and lifted her thigh.

She felt immediately when she made contact, Tori slick and wet against her skin, the stuttered gasp that fell from her lips, but then Tori lifted up and away, too far for Jade to chase her. “Do that again and I’ll bind your ankles, too,” she warned.

Jade stilled. This wasn’t something they’d ever discussed, and not something she thought she’d really wanted (until now), but she wasn’t going to try to call Tori’s bluff, because Tori would undoubtedly come up with something even worse. So she took a deep breath and said, “But I need more.”

“Oh, but this isn’t about what _you_ need,” Tori responded smoothly, “This is about what _I_ want.” She leaned closer to Jade’s face, “And if you recall,” she grabbed a breast with the hand that wasn’t holding her up next to Jade’s head, “ _This_ is what I want.”

And it was true. When they’d negotiated this, Jade had consented to breast worship, knowing she couldn’t do anything but take the pleasure, challenging Tori to _do her worst_. Would she ever learn to keep her mouth shut?

But Tori also lifted her hand away from Jade’s breast to check her bindings, and squeezed Jade’s hand twice. Jade returned the squeezes easily. Maybe Tori wanted to have mercy on her, anyway. Because although she did bury her face back in Jade’s cleavage, it was gentler now, soothing kisses, and Jade looked down to see Tori gazing up at her adoringly, and felt her own soft grin stretch over her face. She thought she might fall in love all over again in these moments when Tori reminded her that dominance didn’t have to be cruel, but could be absolutely nurturing.

“I love you,” Jade sighed, before wondering if in the middle of a kink scene was _really_ the time for this.

But Tori lifted her head from Jade’s breasts to return the declaration with a very enthusiastic kiss, and then murmured in Jade’s ear, “I love you,” then pulled back, expression shifting into that stoic approval that had made Jade weak so long ago, at the Fet Ball. “I bet you’re wet for me, aren’t you?” Tori asked.

“Why don’t you find out?” Jade challenged.

Tori laughed, “No, I don’t think I need to do that. The _needy_ way your hips are moving tells me enough.” Jade hadn’t even realized she’d been doing it and stopped at once. Tori’s lip twitched. She shifted her position, lean legs moving to straddle Jade’s stomach, which flipped and fluttered in anticipation, knowing what was about to occur. “But,” Tori continued softly, “What I want comes first.”

Jade’s eyes fell closed and she let out a soft, anticipatory moan, even before she felt the heat and wetness of Tori press against her abdomen, and she couldn’t help that her mouth stretched into a huge grin at the sensation, almost laughing at the notion that this was what _Tori_ wanted. As if this hadn’t been the very thing Jade had asked for when she was away in New York, had brought up again more recently when they’d negotiated how to get back into bondage: Tori grinding on her stomach, like she had so many months ago at the reunion, but this time, Jade would be helpless to do anything but watch and be _used_ by Tori. She burned with that strange but potent combination of humiliation and arousal, feeling flushed and breathless at her own thoughts.

But of course, this was _Tori_ , who was well-practiced at reading Jade, and who had heard Jade verbalize what about this experience was sexy to her. Tori stayed still, but leaned forward, closer to Jade, who could feel the heat of her closeness, the way her hair spilled over her shoulders to tickle Jade’s skin. “And here you are, just waiting for me to _use_ you.”

“Fucking yes,” Jade breathed. “Make me your--yours,” she amended.

She felt Tori’s hand, pressing firmly into the mattress at her side, and then the shock of the slow grind of her against Jade’s stomach, slick and warm, heard Tori exhale audibly, a sound embodying her relief and pleasure, and then Tori’s other hand came up to close over one of Jade’s breasts again. Jade couldn’t quite stay still, couldn’t stop the way she arched to meet Tori, tightening her abs, tugging futilely at her bindings, but she was too focused on Tori to even think to try to rub her thighs together and seek her own relief. And then Tori leaned close again, “Make you my what?” she asked dangerously.

Jade froze. She thought Tori hadn’t noticed the way she’d stumbled over her words, but of course she had. Still, though, Jade couldn’t bring herself to say anything, but opened her eyes to regard Tori, feeling even more vulnerable than before. Stubbornly, Jade refused to answer, “What do you want me to be?” she breathed.

Tori looked oddly satisfied with this response as she continued her slow grind against Jade, hand squeezing her breast. “The way you’re so eager for me to take you...the way you can’t wait for me to come all over you...some people might say that makes you a _slut_.”

Jade’s reaction was uncontrolled, a breathy gasp as she arched up against Tori, feeling herself grow impossibly wetter, eyes slamming closed to focus on the full-body shivers the words produced. She heard Tori’s throaty chuckle, felt teeth at her neck, Tori sucking the skin hard enough to make Jade moan aloud, pouring out the erotic tension gathering in her. She was speechless, but that didn’t mean Tori couldn’t tell exactly how effective her chosen word was.

She released Jade’s neck, undoubtedly leaving a hickey behind on her delicate flesh, and chuckled in Jade’s ear, “Well, well,” she whispered harshly, hips still moving, but more emphatically now. “I bet I could make you come just by calling you a _slut_ again.”

Jade would have been inclined to say _no way_ , but everything about this experience was taking her to new erotic heights, and she recognized the way her body clenched and tingles of pleasure coursed all through her. Not an orgasm, but certainly a spike in arousal, and a much more intoxicating one that she could’ve expected. She controlled her breathing and maintained her rhythm with Tori, arching up against her with each grind of her pelvis, heart thundering in her ears.

“Too bad,” Tori sighed, “That was your one chance to come tonight.”

Well if _that_ didn’t do her in...though the desperate, whining sounds Jade made in response sounded _almost_ orgasmic...it wasn’t enough, and Jade began trembling hard with need, pulling at her restraints even harder.

Maybe hard enough for Tori to worry about the bedframe, because she leaned forward and pinned the length of rope between Jade’s wrists to the headboard itself, continuing to stimulate herself against Jade’s stomach and to tease her breasts with her other hand, leaning over just too far away for Jade to be able to kiss her. Though she did try.

It was almost too much to bear, like a too rich chocolate cake--delicious, but Jade feared she was reaching her limit, but she also didn’t want to stop. So she took a deep breath to compose herself a little, “Tori?” she breathed.

Tori hummed in response, pulling away a little more to look at Jade, eyes full of sadistic glee, but Jade strongly felt the connection in them, the way Tori was attuned to her, enraptured with her, the way everything between them was a give and take of energy and power and love.

So Jade looked her in the eye and husked, “I’m a filthy fucking slut who _really_ needs you to come all over my tits.”

She felt a swell of pride at the realization that she still had _some_ power in all this, because Tori’s thighs began quivering at her words, and she bit her lip hard. Jade could tell she was holding back, and she struggled to think of what else she could do, but Tori gazed down at her, “As if I’d give you the satisfaction of coming where you tell me to.”

And with that, it only took another couple of firm jolts of Tori’s hips against Jade’s stomach before she was coming, head dropping against Jade’s shoulder to moan right near her ear, and Jade could feel the undulations of her hips, could feel Tori’s heart pounding against her own, feel Tori trembling against her, and Jade was swept up in Tori’s orgasm with her, consumed by it, full of the immense satisfaction of being _used_ to make it happen.

Tori lay limp against her, but only for a moment, recovering with her characteristic swiftness, lifting herself up to look down at Jade, the hand pinning still holding her bindings against the headboard shifting to offer a check-in squeeze, which Jade returned. Then Tori sighed and rolled off of Jade, stretching her legs. “ _Fuck_ ,” she murmured, then her voice turned businesslike, “Well, I guess we’re done here, huh?”

Jade stared at her, her body still utterly pounding with need. “ _What_?”

Tori laughed callously, “Well, you had your chance.”

She was so swept up in everything--the bondage, the arousal, the way Tori had uttered the _exact words_ she’d wanted to hear, the way she’d felt Tori come against her, the way Tori had _loved_ her with all the dominance in her body, that for a moment, she could do nothing but gape at her.

-

Tori was reverberating with elation, waves of it moving through her body like music. She could _feel_ her connection with Jade as if there were tangible threads in the space between them, like the power they exchanged could be felt, a certain pressure in the air. And through her arousal and her almost effortless focus on Jade, her mind was active, busy, assessing Jade’s body language, judging their activity and the boundaries and limits they’d discussed, considering every word that came out of her mouth, and even evaluating her attunement to Jade; despite the ease with which power exchange came to them, there was always a very deliberate component. She was very familiar with the mental focus of domination, and how easy it was to get absorbed in it all, and how to revel in that rapturous headspace while still maintaining the awareness required to properly care for her submissives.

It was different with Jade. (Wasn’t everything?) The addition of the elements of being deeply in love and oh my god the fucking _sex_ compounded everything, making it all a thousand times more gratifying and just a bit more difficult for Tori to keep her head. _Especially_ after coming on Jade’s stomach.

But she certainly noticed the way Jade stared at her helplessly after being told she would not be having an orgasm.

Tori paused. They’d negotiated this, of course. They’d negotiated every piece of this scene--that Jade would be tied to the headboard, that Tori could verbally tease her, that Tori could torturously worship her breasts, that Jade wanted to feel basically like a human sex toy as Tori came on her stomach (though not in the sense of wanting to be ignored, like some of Tori’s clients. This was still _Jade_ , who needed to push back against everything, and who needed to have her nose rubbed in the fact that she was being used). And with regard to Jade’s orgasm, the exchange had gone something like this:

( _“Do you want to come, too?”_

_“I mean, yeah, but after you do. And...I want to, you know. Earn it.”_

_“You want to beg for it, you mean.”_

_“I don’t beg. Oh, don’t look at me that way. Fine. If you can make me beg, you can do whatever you want to me.”)_

Tori had been prepared to make Jade beg, but Jade seemed lost, unable to keep up with the banter. And even though Tori had just checked in with her, she leaned over Jade’s body to do another non-verbal check-in again, since Jade seemed frozen.

Jade squeezed back, two much harder squeezes than she’d ever given before, as she whispered harshly, like she was worried there might be someone to overhear them. “I’m _fine_ , Tori, I just _really_ _fucking need to come_ ,” she hissed.

“ _Okay_ , then let’s get you there,” Tori whispered back in a similar fashion, offering a reassuring smile that turned into a smirk as she straightened back up and gazed back down at Jade as dispassionately as she could. “And why on earth do you think you’ve _earned_ an orgasm?” Tori asked in her dominant drawl, “Bratty little sluts like _you_ don’t get rewards from me.”

Jade’s chest heaved with her breath as she seemed to struggle to speak, but Tori could see an obstinate fire in her eyes, like she really thought stubbornness was going to win this battle. Finally, she said, voice cracking slightly, “I _need_ it.”

“You want it,” Tori countered, “If you _needed_ it, you know how to tell me.” It was with a mix of mercy and provocation that she finally touched Jade, fingers skimming over the tops of her breasts, touches too soft to be erotic even on sensitive skin.

Jade squirmed beneath them anyway, and Tori could feel her chest rise with desperate breaths, could see her jaw clench, could see her thighs press together, which prompted Tori to lightly slap one, not even at the level of a spank, and Jade groaned, letting her legs fall apart once more. Finally, she whimpered, “Please, just... _touch_ me.”

Tori suppressed a smirk, “I am touching you.”

A full-throated whine was her answer, “Fucking _fuck_ me, Tori, please, I need to come, I-- _please_.”

Tori grinned slowly, watching the way Jade sagged as she begged, like all of her tension left her body with her willfulness. Tori leaned over her and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her lips, which Jade returned ferociously, as Tori’s fingers trailed down Jade’s sternum, over her stomach, still slick with Tori’s arousal, then between Jade’s legs. She paused there, sitting back up so she could watch Jade’s reaction as she let two fingers slip between her folds. Jade gasped aloud, cursing, her hips jolted involuntarily, and her whole body strained against her bindings, as if she could make Tori move faster.

But Tori took her time, letting her fingertips run along either side of Jade’s clit and continuing down until she was slipping two fingers inside of Jade, who was _so wet_ it made Tori shake slightly, like an aftershock minutes after her own orgasm. Jade’s entire body arched in reaction and she moaned aloud, managing “ _Yes, fuck, please_ ,” as she caught her breath.

Jade’s begging was _really_ gratifying, and there was really only so much torture Tori was willing to make Jade endure. So while she kept her fingers still, for just a moment, she also resettled herself so she could lean over, grasping one of Jade’s breasts with her other hand, and letting the tip of her tongue move over Jade’s clit.

The sounds Jade made in response were a litany of throaty shouts and curses, and Tori knew this really wasn’t going to take much. She built Jade up quickly, plunging her fingers deep, stroking inside of her, moving her lips and tongue over her clit. The angle was different, coming at her clit from the side, but ultimately, it didn’t deter anything. Tori had barely enough time to really settle in and start enjoying everything when Jade began coming.

Tori had seen a lot of Jade’s orgasms over the years, and though there really wasn’t a way to qualify them, this would probably be one of the most memorable. She tilted her head slightly to watch the way she strained against her bindings, body jolting, hips lifting, walls squeezing Tori’s fingers, throaty groans falling from her lips in a rhythm almost like she was weeping with relief, and the rush of emotions that flooded through Tori was intense. Any time she did her job as a dominatrix and elevated people to new heights of pleasure and submission, she felt immense satisfaction, a combination of power and care and being deeply honored to be entrusted with both of those things. With Jade, those feelings were so profound that it brought tears to Tori’s eyes.

As soon as Jade’s body stilled, Tori moved, withdrawing her fingers and grabbing the sheet to clean them as quickly as possible so she could untie Jade, who seemed barely aware of her surroundings as she lay on the bed and moaned, shuddering. Tori untied the rope from the headboard, pulling Jade’s hands down to her chest, but before she could begin unlooping everything from around her wrists, Jade turned toward her, pushing close to her, and Tori was just off-balance enough that Jade bore her onto her side, so that she could press her face against Tori’s chest as she caught her breath.

Tori wrapped an arm around her, holding her as she let out incoherent little whimpers and her hands grasped at the flesh of Tori’s chest and stomach and side, as much as she could reach with her wrists still bound. Tori kissed her head repeatedly, murmuring, “You did so good. You were amazing. You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

Even aftercare was different. Aftercare in a professional setting helped Tori wind down from a session, too, but it was more for the submissive than anything else. With Jade, Tori could feel the release of cathartic emotions along with her: the pride of a successful encounter, the gratification of making Jade submit to her will, the thrill of being _accepted_ in the bedroom, both as Tori and as a top, the profound relief of feeling like she and Jade fit together as no one else had, possibly as no one else ever could. The intensity of knowing that her dominance had been a force of love, in a way it could never quite be with her clients.

Jade inhaled a deep, shuddery breath and stirred a little in Tori’s arms. “Hey,” Tori murmured, “Let me finish untying your wrists, okay?”

Jade nodded wordlessly, and Tori pulled back enough to see what she was doing as she untied Jade’s wrists until she could set the ropes behind her and take Jade’s hands into hers, massaging them, warming them up, making sure nothing was sore. Jade sighed deeply, face relaxing and her eyes closing as Tori rubbed her hands.

When she was finished, she brought Jade’s hands up to her face and kissed each palm. Then Jade’s arms were wrapping around her fully, bringing her close to cuddle.

Within minutes, they had adjusted so that Tori was lying on her back, Jade’s head on her shoulder. There had been tears, but the good kind, the kind that happened through laughter, as they recovered together. And now, Jade seemed to finally be able to talk again.

“I don’t know how you do it,” she said bluntly.

“Do what?” Tori asked, bending her neck to try to get a look at Jade’s face.

“Like...stay in that domme mode.” 

“I’ve had practice,” Tori chuckled.

“I mean, I know you’re a professional and everything, but damn. Like. You _came_ on me and then like three seconds later you’re back to teasing me.”

“Okay, that part I don’t really have practice with,” Tori conceded, “I have to admit, it’s _very_ different to be able to have an orgasm while topping someone.”

“But you still did it,” Jade marveled.

Tori shrugged the shoulder Jade’s head wasn’t resting on, “Yeah, well. It’s all about staying in the right headspace. And I _did_ win that method acting competition when we were in high school.” It wasn’t a serious brag, but she put on airs anyway.

Jade snorted and poked at Tori’s side, making her squirm. “That _barely_ counts as method acting, and who knows what might’ve happened if Sikowitz had warned me that damn pan was hot.” They were both quiet for a moment, Jade’s fingers stroking soothingly at Tori’s side, almost like an apology for the ticklish jab. Then, Jade spoke again, “How did you know...what to call me?”

Even if Tori might’ve been confused by Jade’s words on their own, her slightly hesitant tone revealed exactly what she was asking about. But Tori asked anyway, “You mean when I called you a slut?”

She couldn’t quite see all of Jade’s face, but the way she pushed closer to Tori’s chest was as revealing as her tone had been. “Yeah,” she confirmed.

In truth, Tori would have preferred negotiating that particular word, even though they had already negotiated for teasing and mildly humiliating language to be used. But Tori had felt safe introducing it in part because she knew Jade so well, and because they had talked about limits and Jade had never expressed that name-calling of this sort was forbidden. But there had been other clues. The degradation rating on Jade’s kink test. The way drunk Jade on a video call in New York had indicated there was something she wanted to be called that she wasn’t ready to admit. The way Jade had traded out a paddle with hearts on it for one that said _slut_. The way Jade had admitted, with the flush of shame and arousal on her cheeks, that there were times she wanted to feel used by Tori, sexually.

Still, Tori probably wouldn’t have gone there in this session without prior negotiation, even with all these factors in mind, simply due to an abundance of caution. Except for the fact that Jade had specifically invited her to call her something. The invitation from Jade, combined with their closeness and everything Tori had picked up on, had given Tori permission to choose what to call her. Anything higher-stakes than the use of a particular word in the vein of an agreed upon style of language would constitute a boundary Tori would never cross. Words had power, and judging by Jade’s reaction, they were both well aware of that.

Tori kept her voice gentle as she spoke to Jade, “There were a lot of reasons. You gave me a lot of clues that it would be welcome. But especially the paddle you chose. That indicated to me that the word itself wasn’t off-limits in a sexual setting. And from reconnecting with you sexually over these past few months, I’ve learned a lot about what turns you on.” But she had to be honest, too. “If there’s anything else you want to be called, I’d prefer to discuss them specifically. This was about the only guess I was willing to make, and only because you asked me to.”

Jade’s face was still pressed into Tori’s side, and her reply was slightly muffled, “No, that’s...really the big one. All the other stuff you say, about how my wants don’t matter, how I’m good for you to take pleasure from, that all makes me feel _really_ hot, but... _slut_ is the big one, for me.” They fell quiet again, and Jade said pensively, “I don’t really know _why_ it works. I don’t even remember when I realized I liked it. But like, I know I’m not one, and even if I were, who cares? But to be called that...I don’t know.”

Tori grinned, and pressed her lips against Jade’s head. “Sometimes there’s no good reason why we like certain things. Just that we do. And now I know, and I love it. I _loved_ how it felt to say that to you, to watch you react.”

Jade shivered a little in her arms, and when she finally spoke again, she said, “Can we have coffee?”

Tori happily got out of bed to make her a cup, practically floating on the residual feelings from the success of their encounter.

-

As December wound down, Jade was beginning to plot out what January might look like, in terms of being a photographer for hire. She had people requesting her photography and videography services through her website that she could easily schedule, which was always reliable work. She also had the Bra Candy Fashion Show to look forward to early in January, as well as continuing to film what she could of the preparation for the event. Now that she had the concept for the documentary about Cat’s creations, she was trying to prepare like she would for any other project, and be organized about it. She’d enlisted Chandra’s help in pulling together a crew (and Chandra herself had been invited to model one of Cat’s undergarments).

However, there was still a piece of Jade’s imagination that was fixated on the 360 camera setup. She’d sent out her camera test footage, once she was finally satisfied with it, to a few friends she’d worked with closely in the past, mostly folks in New York and Atlanta, but also Chandra and Lana Blackwood.

Lana had been really impressed with it, which had prompted the two of them to chat over Spectrogram for the first time in awhile. When they weren’t talking about Jade’s footage, with Lana requesting to please be kept in the loop about anything Jade was working on in that style, they’d shifted a bit to personal life, which meant Jade officially told Lana about getting back together with Tori (and getting engaged). It hadn’t been news, or really a surprise; Lana had inferred as much from Jade’s Spectrogram posts as well as her video series about scaring Tori every night. But there was something unexpectedly nice about being able to tell her ex that she was in love and very happy, and to have the only other woman she’d really fallen in love with be happy for her.

But as she and Tori both began to shift out of holiday mode, they weren’t quite spending all their time together, which meant less bickering about dishwasher best practices or making the bed versus just straightening the sheets. Tori was spending more time at Moustache Media, plotting how to rearrange the Fungeon for the fashion show while also trying to ensure she could still provide select services to clients who needed it, and keep some access to fitness equipment available so she and Jade could continue to exercise. She was also in meetings a lot, apparently discussing how to shift her focus away from Virtual Encounters and into something else, leaving Jade with time to herself in the guest house, on her computer.

When Jade wasn’t working on logistics for the Bra Candy documentary or scheduling other work, she was beginning to outline a script. Visiting her grandparents in Wrightwood for Christmas Eve had not only been nice in a nostalgic family holiday sort of way, it had also inspired Jade. She imagined setting up a 360 camera on their property, the way the mountains would look, the beauty of a quiet landscape all around. She wanted to be able to see it first to be sure, but she wondered if a natural setting like this, if she were able to work with light and sound effectively, could help the image avoid the flat, bright, porn-y video quality a lot of 360 videos suffered from.

She sat at her desk that afternoon, wireless headphones in, working. After she and Tori had finished their Chemex coffee that morning, Jade had brewed a full pot of her French press to drink as she worked. She sipped at the last quarter cup of her coffee and grimaced at how cold it was, then stood up to head into the kitchen for a refill.

And as she turned, she nearly ran right into someone.

Jade screamed and flailed and collapsed onto the floor, cold coffee sloshing onto her chest as she covered her face with her hands. 

“Oh my god! Jade!” Jade could barely hear the voice through the music playing on her headphones, and with shaking hands tugged her earbuds out, the music abruptly jarring, distressing. She was struggling to breathe, deep gasps of air, the hand not still clutching her coffee cup moving to press against her chest. 

Despite the fact that her eyes were wide open, it still took her a moment to register who was crouching before her. “Tori?” she managed to gasp out, beginning to feel like she could breathe again.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Tori babbled. She was _right there_ , but not touching her, keeping her distance, eyes concerned, compassionate.

“Tori, _what the fuck_?!” Jade shouted hoarsely.

“I’m sorry!” Tori hollered back, “I came in to tell you I was home, and you couldn’t hear me, so I was just trying to get close enough so you would!”

“You scared the _shit_ out of me, Jesus fucking Christ.” Tori’s gaze dipped worriedly lower, and Jade snarled, “Not _literally_ , that is disgusting!”

Tori shrugged, embarrassed, “I’ve had the pee scared out of me before.”

“That’s _not the same_.” Jade took another shaky breath, beginning to shift to a more comfortable position on the floor from the one she’d landed in. “You nearly gave me a fucking _heart attack_ , you _cannot_ sneak up on me like that,” she ranted, “I’m already anxious enough as it is, _fuck_.”

“I’m sorry,” Tori repeated mournfully. “Here, let me help you.”

Jade wasn’t so irate that she wanted Tori to leave her alone, and the more she shouted about how scared she was, the better she started to feel. Besides, her whole body was still shaking, so she allowed Tori to take her now-empty coffee cup out of her hand and offer her other hand to help Jade to her feet. But once on her feet, as the adrenaline drained out of her body, Jade’s trembling turned to crying. She pulled off her long-sleeved top, soaked through with coffee, to try to hide it.

Tori, of course, noticed, “Jade,” she said softly, “What can I--”

Jade tossed her dirty shirt in the general direction of the bedroom nook and glanced down at her bra, which was also wet, and sighed in defeat, just sinking into Tori’s arms and giving in to whatever emotional turmoil her body was going to subject her to.

When she finally settled, she sighed heavily against Tori’s shoulder and pulled back, eyes falling again to her wet bra. At least it was a dark color and probably wouldn’t stain, but now she was uncomfortable, and cold. She took her bra off and headed into the bedroom nook to see what she might be able to put on until she could go into the main house and wash up and re-dress. Because there was coffee on her jeans, too.

“That was awful,” she informed Tori as she pulled on an old flannel she’d worn a lot in New York, buttoning it up so she was at least covered. “Like, I really thought I was going to die.”

“Yeah, I know how it is,” Tori replied with a rueful grin, “That was me every night of the haunted house.”

“Oh, please,” Jade scoffed, “You _like_ being scared.”

“I do not!”

“Well, you sure handle it better than I do. Because you’re not a walking anxiety disorder.”

There was no response for a moment as Tori washed off Jade’s coffee mug in the sink, but after she placed it next to the French press, she turned thoughtfully. “Have you ever considered...doing anything, about your anxiety disorder?”

Jade blinked. “I think I have a pretty good handle on how to deal with it by now.”

Tori didn’t press. “Okay,” she said, but then she smirked a little. “You know, I’m pretty sadistic, and I hated that. But you _really_ seem to get a charge out of scaring me.”

“Yeah, because it’s funny,” Jade deadpanned. But then she considered it. “I mean. I thought it was, anyway. Do you really hate it? Like, as much as I do?”

Tori shrugged, “You’re right that I don’t think it affects me the way it does you. Most of the time it isn’t a big deal. Sometimes it’s funny. At the haunted house, _knowing_ it was coming kind of made it fun.” She grinned fully now. “I’m just wondering if perhaps you have a sadistic streak that we’re not exploring. I _did_ used to think of you as ‘my girlfriend, the sadist.’ Like back when we dated the first time.”

Jade stared. “You did?”

Tori laughed, “Is that really such a surprise?”

“I guess not.” Jade considered the idea. “I don’t really know that I’m... _that_ sadistic. Like, a lot of that was probably anxiety and insecurity when I was younger. Like wanting some kind of control. And my ever-present fascination with the bizarre.” Jade couldn’t think of specific examples of when Tori might’ve thought she was sadistic, but she still knew what Tori was getting at. Teenage Jade had been obsessed with pain, her own and everyone else’s. There was a satisfaction in knowing she wasn’t the only person suffering, even if, in retrospect, a lot of Jade’s ideas about _suffering_ boiled down to a lot of normal teenage angst, living through a difficult and messy parental divorce, and frustrating incompatibilities in her relationship with her first partner. “But I _do_ really like to scare you,” she admitted.

“See? Sadist,” Tori pointed at her, expression mock serious.

“Sure, whatever. Because I scored _so_ high on sadism on my kink test.”

“It’s just not what most people think of, but it counts,” Tori laughed. She sobered for a moment. “I never want to scare you again. That was so awful and I’ll do everything I can to make sure I never do. But, I mean...I guess an occasional playful scare from you is okay. As long as you don’t give _me_ a heart attack.”

“I’ll just do it while we’re young,” Jade grinned, “We have our whole lives together, after all.”

Tori’s expression softened. “You’re awfully sweet for a secret sadist.”

-

To prepare for the Bra Candy Fashion Show, Tori had enlisted the help of Sam, since Jade was busy making sure she had the filming equipment and crew she needed for the event and Cat was making sure her garments would fit the measurements of the models. Sam was a good partner for this kind of work, anyway, because she was strong, so between the two of them, Tori expected it to be pretty easy to move even the heavier pieces of BDSM gear out of the way.

The spanking bench was a little heavy, but it was more the awkward shape of it that was the challenge, and by the time they’d maneuvered it through two doorframes and placed it in the Pedesko set on the other side of Moustache Media, they were both sweating a little. They took a break to drink some water in the aftercare space, and Sam was looking around the Fungeon thoughtfully.

“What’s up?” Tori asked, expecting her to offer some kind of suggestion about the work they were doing.

Instead, what Sam said was, “So...you know Cat and I are doing this pet play thing…”

Tori nodded, “Yeah, I know. How’s that going?”

“Well, that’s just it,” Sam replied, rolling her water bottle between her palms. “I don’t really know if we’re doing it right. Like I’ve been reading stuff about it, and there’s supposed to be some kind of power dynamic between the pet and the owner? But that’s not really at all what we’re doing.”

“There isn’t really a right or wrong way to do kink, what matters is that it’s mutually pleasurable for everyone involved,” Tori replied.

“I guess,” Sam shrugged, “But then is it even really pet play that we’re doing?”

“Well, what does the collar mean to you?” Tori asked, setting down her water bottle. Sam followed her lead and they headed over to the cages, Tori grabbing the measuring tape clipped to her belt to assess the best way to get them out.

“I mean, it represents...consent, I guess. That Cat wants me.”

“So she can tell you without words,” Tori nodded.

“Yeah, but I don’t really feel like her owner or whatever when she has it on. I just feel like...the person getting ravished.”

“Ravished is a pretty animalistic term,” Tori pointed out with a smirk, retracting her tape and nodding for Sam to grab the other end of the horizontal cage.

“That’s true,” Sam laughed, “Maybe I’m not really thinking about her like she’s a cat, but if she is, and that helps her, then I guess that’s all that matters.”

“There _is_ some degree of giving up power inherent in her not being able to say anything,” Tori pointed out, “The fact that it’s also _empowering_ is kind of exactly how power exchange works for a lot of people.”

Sam’s expression cleared in dawning comprehension. “Shit. You’re right,” she said, glancing over her shoulder to make sure to line up the cage they were carrying with the doorframe. “Since I’m mostly thinking of it as, you know, me not really being in the driver’s seat, that part didn’t really occur to me.” They maneuvered the cage over to where Tori gestured with a nod, and when they put it down, Sam said, “I don’t really know how to tap into anything like, dominant to match that, but if it works for her…”

“You could put the collar on her for her,” Tori suggested.

Sam blinked, “But her putting it on is the whole signal.”

“Yeah, and it might not work for her if she’s still struggling with communicating, but if she has to _ask_ you to put it on her, then it’s like a mutual agreement. It’s more like a gift you’re giving her. It might appeal to her.” Tori knew very well the power of collaring someone.

“That makes a lot of sense,” Sam agreed, “I can talk to her. The collar has given her a lot of confidence. Maybe she’s ready to take some steps toward talking about stuff a little more.”

“I think it’s really great that you two are exploring this, however it works for you,” Tori commented. “For a lot of couples who have been together as long as you two have, keeping things interesting in bed is the biggest problem.”

Sam just laughed. “Trust me, for us, that’s never been a problem.”

After they’d moved everything, Tori got to work measuring the space and laying tape markers for where models would walk, where people would sit, where cameras would be (though she was sure Jade would end up moving those). Meanwhile, Sam was hard at work on a mural across the empty wall at the rear of the space, next to the bathroom (which would serve as a dressing room for the models during the event). Sam’s mural was supposed to serve two purposes: to decorate the space for the fashion show, but also to be appropriate enough for a kink environment to be able to stay on the wall after it was over. What Sam came up with--bosom-y shapes with a motif of black and pink--was definitely something Tori was happy with. 

If it was something she would be able to tell her submissives _not_ to look at, all the better.

The event itself was that weekend, and after all the preparation they’d put into it, Tori felt ready. Jade had a crew ready to film the event, and had also set up one of Tori’s 360 cameras in the middle of the runway to see what kind of footage she could get. Andre had agreed to MC the event (not that it took much convincing, given that the event was basically centered around lingerie) and had brought on someone he worked with to DJ the event (each model would get their own music for the runway). And they’d promoted the event to the extent that press was there among the friends (and kinksters) populating the audience, for publications related to both kink and fashion.

Tori was in the bathroom/dressing room with all the other models, something that was new for her, as this space was solely for her submissives when the Fungeon was operational. But since it was essentially “backstage,” it was the only place it was appropriate for her to be. Besides, it wasn’t as though changing in front of others was any sort of issue; pretty much all of the models were kinksters or theater folks, utterly unashamed.

Cat came bounding over to her, alright giggling excitedly. “Tori! You look amazing.”

Tori knew Cat wasn’t really surprised; she’d seen the garment on her before when she was perfecting the sizing. But she hadn’t seen Cat in her chosen Bra Candy piece, and she took that in now. “So do you!”

But Cat wasn’t fishing for a compliment, and instead grabbed Tori’s arm in a firm squeeze. “I can’t believe this is actually happening. I’m so excited I might pee!”

Tori chuckled, “I’d get in line for the bathroom if I were you. Andre is going to kick things off shortly.”

Cat took a deep breath. “You’re probably right. But I’m just _really_ happy this is happening. After all the work I put in, this is just _really cool_. And I’m so grateful that you’re letting me use your Fungeon and that Jade is doing all the filming…”

Tori wrapped Cat in a careful hug, so as not to jostle their outfits too much. “We’re just really proud of you. This is such a unique idea and the pieces you made are gorgeous.”

At that moment, the music that was playing in the Fungeon died down a little bit, a sure signal that Andre was about to begin. Cat let out a little squeal of excitement and hurried toward the other side of the dressing area where the bathroom was. And just after that, Andre’s voice rang out, “Welcome everyone to the Bra Candy Fashion Show!”

While Andre introduced himself and gave a brief round of thank yous to the various individuals and organizations that had made the event possible (not just Tori and Jade had stepped up for Cat; there had been various investors and promoters and media, and Tori recognized Sam, Carly, and Freddie’s LLC among the list of investors), the models in the dressing area began to do final checks in front of mirrors, or for each other, before lining up in order to get ready to strut down the runway. Tori took her place between Nathaniel and Mistress Diedre.

And then Andre’s voice rang out, “First up for this evening, we have the lovely Brittany! Brittany is modeling the Party Cleavage bra, which has a little lever you can press to nestle a little butterscotch disc, right in your cleavage. Ooh, just like that!” Andre crowed, as Brittany apparently demonstrated. “This bra is simple and classy, comfortable and suitable for everyday wear. And Brittany says she is absolutely keeping this bra in order to make sure she is never without a sugar boost again!”

The sound of applause followed Brittany as she made her way back into the dressing area, flushed and looking giddy at being the first one out onstage. “Guys, it’s such a _great_ crowd,” Brittany hissed.

Tori wasn’t sure what that meant, but she knew she would soon find out. Though there were still plenty of models ahead of her.

“Next up, we have the gorgeous Chandra! Chandra is modeling the Gumdrop Teddy, and as you can see, this beautiful lacy lingerie has plenty of little spaces to tuck gumdrops, held in place so gently you can tug them out with your teeth. Ooh, what, you want _me_ to try?” Andre sounded genuinely astonished, and the crowd roared its approval as evidently Chandra fed him a gumdrop from her outfit. There was a hum of approval from Andre, then a pause as he chewed and all that could be heard was applause and the faint thrum of music. “I can tell you all that those gumdrops are as delicious as they look!”

Astra was next, modeling a lingerie set primarily accented with taffy, followed by some folks from the Santa Monica Theater Company that Tori didn’t know very well, including a few male-bodied people. To Cat’s credit, she had been as gender inclusive as possible with her creations, despite “bra candy” being the inspiration.

And finally, it was Tori’s turn. Nathaniel turned to her with a smile. “Ready?” he asked.

“Ready,” she replied, putting on her steeliest expression.

“Alright, next up, we have Mistress Tawny Swain and her submissive,” Tori smirked. Nathaniel was the only model not to be named on the runway; his choice, but it emphasized the power of Tori’s position. “Mistress Tawny is wearing the Black Licorice Bustier and her submissive is sporting the Gumball Chest Harness! And oh, what’s this?”

Here, Tori drew out a flogger constructed of the same black licorice that accented her outfit (specifically the supple leather bustier with little loops to thread the licorice through that emphasized the shape of Tori’s chest). She landed a few gentle swats at Nathaniel with her flogger, and he mimed ecstatic enjoyment before the two of them split to walk on either side of Jade’s 360 camera to reach the end of the catwalk.

“I wouldn’t eat _that_ licorice whip,” Andre quipped. “And, oh, looks like Mistress Tawny wants a gumball from her submissive!”

Nathaniel stood before Tori, chest thrust out at an angle so the crowd could see what was happening. His chest harness was of the typical style for males with a large metal ring in the center and four studded straps wrapping around his body, but within the ring, Cat had nestled a small gumball machine. Tori pulled a quarter out of her cleavage and held it up so the audience could see it, then slipped the quarter into the coin slot and turned the crank, and a small gumball tumbled out into her palm. She wasn’t exactly clear where the quarters ended up on this device, but she had to admit it was ingeniously designed. Cat had even added some extra leather straps above and below the gumball machine so a top could still grab a submissive wearing this harness. Which Tori did, holding Nathaniel very close to her while she turned and looked directly into the 360 camera and very slowly and deliberately slid the gumball between her lips and into her mouth.

Hey, if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was work her way around a 360 camera.

The audience applauded, as she turned and blew a small bubble for them, and then she and Nathaniel walked past each other to circle the camera on the opposite sides as before, and Tori playfully whipped him all the way back into the dressing room amidst applause. Once she was inside, Mistress Diedre winked at her, then prepared to strut out in her own kink-inspired look--another niche Cat had filled with her creations.

And not long after Mistress Diedre--and last to come out--was Cat herself. Tori stood next to her as she waited by the door. She was grinning excitedly, and Tori gave her hand a brief, encouraging squeeze.

Andre began to speak. “And now, the moment we’re all been waiting for, introducing...the designer, creator, and mind behind the Bra Candy line, which is inclusive to all genders and sizes, _Cat Valentine_!”

Cat bounded out onto the catwalk, and Tori couldn’t resist standing back and peering discreetly through the doorway to watch as she was greeted with applause and cheers. She was sure she heard Sam’s voice, though she couldn’t identify what was being said amidst the chaos.

Andre began speaking over the crowd, “Cat is wearing the Bra Candy OG design, pink with a red licorice swirl that spirals through the cup of the bra itself until it reaches the center. Like many of the licorice designs in the Bra Candy line, this garment contains a small mechanism that will slice the licorice when it reaches the desired length, like that! Oh, thank you, Cat!” Tori wasn’t able to see from her angle how the licorice was cut by Cat’s bra, but she did see Cat offer Andre a length of red licorice. “This was the bra that started everything. Inspired by Cat’s teenage habit of keeping candy in her bra, Cat strove to find a way to recreate that experience in a more sanitary way, and along the way, found new and interesting methods of combining undergarments and candy, whether you’re looking for a sexy experience or just a way to keep a snack on you during the day. There’s something for everyone with Bra Candy!”

After Cat was applauded, the rest of the models came out to stand on the catwalk with her, applauding and acknowledging the crowd, and soon after, the event shifted into something of a mixer, with people approaching the models whose pieces they wanted to examine more closely, or press seeking to interview Cat. Tori spotted Jade, who was still filming the event, focusing mainly on Cat, while a couple of other videographers she’d brought in to help were scattered around the space, capturing other moments.

As this was also Tori’s workplace, she excused herself for a moment to check in with Kwakoo, who was present to work security. Everything seemed to be fine. Mrs. Lee had catered the event, and had left an employee to help monitor the appetizer spread over in the aftercare space, so Tori didn’t have to worry about that, either. She checked that the caterer was okay, and then allowed herself to mingle with the crowd.

She could see that Cat was still being interviewed by members of the press, and moved closer to hear what was being said. And as she did so, she noticed Sam sidle up next to Cat. Sam had served as crew that day, too, mostly acting as a hub for communication and ensuring everything ran smoothly. Tori guessed that Sam’s duties were drawing to a close just as her own were, and she watched as Sam reached out to tug the end of the red licorice just under Cat’s bra strap.

“Ooh!” Cat shivered slightly as the licorice began to slide out of her bra, but then seamlessly continued answering whatever question was being asked as Sam slowly began to eat the licorice, following Cat around the space with the cord of red licorice connecting them.

“You know,” one of the members of the kinky press that Tori recognized said cheekily to Sam, “You can cut that little licorice leash with that itty bitty bra guillotine if you want to.”

But Sam just shrugged, mouth full of licorice. “I know. No need to. This isn’t like, a kink thing. I’m just going to eat it all.”

“She will,” Cat glanced at her with an adoring smile, “Sam is really the reason I got inspired to work on this. She found out I used to keep candy in my bra when I was younger and said she didn’t understand why I still don’t do that.”

“Yep,” Sam agreed, red licorice still hanging from her mouth, “And I’m _very_ happy with what she came up with.”

Tori’s attention shifted to someone who had questions about her black licorice flogger, which meant she didn’t see when Sam finally finished all the candy from one side of Cat’s bra and moved to the other, but she did note the way they stuck close together for the rest of the night as Sam held onto her so-called licorice leash.

As she was showing her outfit to a curious audience member, Patrice and Janet came over to her. “So, is this going to be Mistress Tawny’s new look?” Janet teased.

“I thought I spotted you two out there,” Tori commented. She knew that Patrice was aware of the event, but because of her professional relationship with Sam and Cat, she hadn’t participated in anything beyond spectating, and Tori hadn’t been sure she was going to show up at all. “And no, I think my look is going to stay pretty consistent. Though I’ll admit, having some sweets readily available for aftercare would be a great idea.”

Patrice chuckled, “I kind of love it. I think I want one to wear to play parties.” Her eyes dipped to Tori’s flogger. “May I?”

“Sure,” Tori replied, passing the candy toy over to Patrice.

Patrice stroked the licorice tails of the toy. “Huh. They feel sturdier than I thought.”

“Well, licorice is chewy,” Tori pointed out.

Patrice nodded absently. “I wonder if it would actually work?”

“Not sure,” Tori admitted, “I wasn’t really trying to use it on Nathaniel.”

“Yeah, he would’ve liked it too much,” Janet snarked, grinning knowingly. She batted her eyes at Patrice, “You can try it on me,” she taunted, turning her body to display her back. Which also displayed her curvy ass, Tori noticed.

Patrice met Tori’s eye briefly, seeking permission. Tori was curious herself, so she nodded approval, then Patrice brought the flogger down on one side of Janet’s upper back with a dull thump as it made contact through her jacket.

“Oh,” Janet let out. Tori’s eyebrows ticked upward. Patrice hadn’t hit her hard, but a solid strike with a flogger required a certain amount of followthrough. Janet blinked. “Okay, that worked better than I expected.”

“Me, too,” Patrice admitted, looking impressed as she handed it back to Tori.

“Well, I’m not exactly planning to use a flogger made out of food professionally anytime soon,” Tori replied.

“I wouldn’t eat it, either,” Patrice smirked.

“Not planning to,” Tori insisted. “It’s just going to be a keepsake. Cat made it for me somehow, and coming from her, it’s kind of perfect.”

Patrice grinned, looking past Tori to where Sam and Cat were still connected by the length of licorice leading from Cat’s breast to Sam’s mouth. “I’m so proud of her,” Patrice smiled, “Both of them.”

After the event finally ended, Tori changed back into her regular clothes and helped the rest of the crew with cleaning up and tearing down the space. It reminded her of high school days, of striking the set at the Black Box theater. Some things were the same: the way Cat would sing, and Jade would swear, and Andre would just try to keep things moving. Even Sinjin was there, to help Jade with the proper handling of the 360 equipment, and was as weirdly meticulous about everything as he was as a teen. Watching the professional respect that passed between Sinjin and Jade as they handled the camera pleased Tori. She knew that Sinjin had always admired Jade’s work, and Sinjin himself had been an invaluable part of Tori’s team. It was nice to know that some things had changed since high school, and Jade’s attitude was one of them.

With so many hands on deck, Tori was even able to get her kink equipment moved back over into place, so that the Fungeon was basically back to its normal configuration at the end of the night, something Tori figured she and Kwakoo might have to deal with over the weekend. Tori was exhausted but relieved as they all gathered up their final belongings to leave the space for the evening, and cast a fond glance at her Fungeon, now with a new mural on the back wall.

As much as she’d loved this event and everything it meant to Cat, it was good to have her space back.

“So,” Sam nudged Jade with her shoulder, “Which bra are you going to get?”

“Who says I’m buying a new bra?” Jade asked evasively.

“Come on, there has to be one of those that appeals to you. Maybe a little butterscotch nestled in your cleavage?” She poked Jade in the chest playfully.

“Right now, I’m most interested in the bra that’s going to end up on my floor in about thirty minutes,” Jade replied with a heated glance at Tori.

Sam’s expression shifted to a lazy grin. “Okay, that’s a good answer.”

-

After the Bra Candy Fashion Show, life started to settle back into some kind of routine. Not that she and Tori had much of a chance to establish a routine once they got back together, with Jade leaving for New York so quickly afterwards and then the two of them taking most of December off. But they at least had some awareness of what the other got up to from living as (very close) neighbors beforehand. 

The major difference now was texting throughout the day to plan meals. Tori was at Moustache Media a lot, working to restructure her workspace (for whatever changes in content she was planning) between clients, and when Jade wasn’t out taking gig work, she was in the guest house working on footage from the Bra Candy Fashion Show both for her documentary and to give to Cat for her own promotional purposes. While Tori was probably the better cook between the two of them, Jade could certainly handle herself in the kitchen, so they were switching off who would cook based on workload for the day, or who would pick up dinner based on their respective schedules.

Tonight, Tori was coming home with Mexican food, and when Jade received a text that Tori was two minutes away, she finished up what she was doing in the guest house and made her way into the main house.

Tori was standing at the kitchen counter, phone pressed to her ear, unpacking takeout boxes from a bag, but very, very slowly. Jade stayed quiet as she approached, nudging Tori with her elbow so she could step aside and let Jade finish unpacking the food. Moments later, though, Tori was lowering the phone, looking dazed.

“What’s up?” Jade asked her.

“Uhh,” Tori started, “I got a call from Vancouver earlier today. Didn’t answer it, of course, because it wasn’t a number I knew. And I just now listened to the voicemail.”

Tori stopped talking, though maybe it was because Jade was opening takeout boxes and starting to carry everything to the table so they could eat. But once the boxes were open, Jade prompted, “And?”

No response for a moment, because Tori was at the sink, filling two glasses of water from the filter. When she finally sat down at the table next to Jade, she replied. “They said someone had been trying to get in touch with me, but because I don’t have an agent anymore, they sort of had to track me down. Anyway, long story short, there’s supposed to be a _Whisper Creek_ reunion at a fan convention next month for the tenth anniversary of the premiere of the show, and they want me to be there.”

“Holy shit,” Jade stared. She had finished the show so recently that it felt momentarily strange to remember that it was ten years old. “Tori, that’s--” she stopped herself before she started gushing about how cool it was, because that was _her_ opinion as Tori’s fiancee who was proud of _all_ of Tori’s accomplishments and, okay, as a viewer and a fan. “Are you going to do it?” she asked instead.

Tori took a bite of her enchilada and shrugged thoughtfully while she chewed. Jade mimicked her, taking her own bite, while she watched with bated breath, waiting for Tori to answer. Finally, Tori swallowed and said, “I don’t know. That part of my life feels like such a long time ago now and I haven’t been an actress for _years_. But at the same time...I know my character meant a lot to people, and the NerdWolf pairing was such important representation for the time, too.” Tori had been gazing at the table, unfocused, but she looked back up at Jade. “It’s not that far away,” she revealed, “And they _are_ paying me. Not like I really _need_ the money, but...yeah, I don’t know.”

Jade hadn’t been asked, but she offered her opinion, anyway. “I think you should do it.”

Tori’s eyebrow lifted slightly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s a fan event, so...what, is it a meet and greet?”

“They didn’t have a lot of detail in the voicemail, but it sounds like it’s maybe a Q&A and then some opportunity to interact with VIP fans, which are probably the ones who shell out more money to meet you or something.”

Okay, fan interactions could be awkward. Jade had seen both Tori and Lana handle that kind of thing over the years and was always kind of relieved to have worked behind the camera, so even some people who knew her name didn’t always know her face. “I just mean that it sounds like it doesn’t involve a lot of like, interacting with executives and industry people and stuff like that. I mean, besides the other actors. Sounds like it’ll be mostly people who love you and your work and will hopefully be excited and respectful. I don’t know, I think it could be really nice for you. Validating.”

Tori smirked, “I seek a _different_ kind of validation from my work these days.” Jade snorted, but didn’t respond. “So, you really want me to do it,” Tori observed.

“Okay, I might be looking for an easy ticket into a _Whisper Creek_ reunion,” Jade admitted. “But I _do_ also think you deserve to get some praise from people who your work meant a lot to. When we did the haunted house, you had some nice interactions.”

“Yeah,” Tori agreed, sounding a bit reluctant. “It would be kind of nice to see some of my old coworkers, too,” she admitted.

“Like Addison?” Jade asked before she could stop herself. But, maybe it was inevitable Addison would come up. Since reconnecting with Lana over Spectrogram a week or so ago, that evening in Toronto several years back had been on her mind a bit. Neither she nor Tori had been at their best at that time, and while everything she’d said felt justified in the moment, she regretted it now.

Tori just shrugged. “We were friends,” she said. “And I enjoyed her company outside of the sex we had.”

Jade nodded to show she was listening, though she wasn’t sure quite what to say. It wasn’t exactly _jealousy_ that she felt, but she felt different than the way she did when it came to seeing Tori and Patrice together. And Tori hadn’t dated Addison any more than she’d really dated Patrice. “I don’t have any issue with it,” she finally said, though it didn’t quite feel true. Maybe it was all just residual bitter feelings from that night in Toronto, where they were forced to get drinks together for the sake of Addison’s career.

“I didn’t think you did,” Tori replied easily. “But I’ll definitely consider going to the reunion. Only if you can come with me, though.”

“Tell me the dates right now and I will make sure I’m free,” Jade vowed.

Tori just shook her head in amusement, but she was smiling.

-

The next Sunday was a day they were both off, and aside from some regular household chores, they were mostly able to spend the day together. How quickly things had changed from the two of them grating on each others’ nerves from being around each other all the time to looking forward to the evenings and weekends they got to spend together. Tori had always felt that her busy schedule was part of the reason that dating didn’t work well for her, but now she was beginning to get a better sense of balance between work and her personal life, how time apart from Jade helped their relationship thrive. On this particular Saturday afternoon, Jade was outside doing the yardwork. Grass tended to stay green all winter in LA, but it definitely grew slower, so it had been several weeks since Jade had mowed the lawn. Tori was hungry, and knew Jade would be after her yardwork, so she was making grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for them to enjoy for lunch.

She had the soup simmering and the sandwiches ready to put on the skillet when Jade was almost finished. When she looked out the kitchen window to assess Jade’s progress she determined there was still a little while to go. Tori stirred the soup and then leaned against the counter for a moment, her eyes drifting to that section of countertop that Jade had lifted her onto to make love to her the night they got back together.

She closed her eyes. The memory was so vivid, despite the dreamlike quality of their reconnection. The ephemeral glow of the candlelight, the way Tori’s stomach flipped when Jade’s nose bumped hers just before their lips met. The way Jade’s eyes shone their deepest blue, radiating passion and love. The way it felt to let Jade just lift her up and slip her fingers inside of Tori, to feel so wanted and _adored_ , and like everything she’d been chasing for almost a decade was folding back in her heart. Tori felt a swell of warmth and excitement at the recollection, at just how much she’d had to let her guard down, to be vulnerable, to let Jade back in. And how she’d tried to talk herself out of it, how she might’ve lost Jade forever if she had.

A glance at the window at Jade showed that she was nearly finished with the lawn, but Tori let her eyes linger. Even a December afternoon was warm enough for Jade to wear one of her sleeveless tops to do the yard in, and Tori took in the shape of her arms, the slope of her neck exposed with her hair pulled back, the pale skin that was no doubt slathered in sunscreen even at this time of year. She couldn’t help grinning, and from the way Jade shot her a long glance, she knew it had been noticed.

Tori turned back around to start on their sandwiches, and by the time she was flipping the grilled cheeses, Jade came back into the kitchen through the patio door. “Enjoy the show?” she asked with a smirk.

“Very much,” Tori replied. Jade just looked smug as she moved closer to Tori to survey the stove. She smelled warm, like sunshine and grass clippings, and Tori grunted approval.

“Did you just...sniff me?” Jade accused.

“Maybe,” Tori replied. “Lunch is almost ready.”

“I can see that.” But Jade didn’t move, and instead was watching Tori curiously. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Tori insisted.

But Jade knew her better than that. “Okay, there’s no way me mowing the lawn was _this sexy_.”

Tori didn’t answer right away and instead started serving soup and plating sandwiches, sliding them onto the island countertop. “Sit down,” she invited Jade, turning to pour two glasses of water.

Jade was still scrutinizing her when they sat down together at the kitchen island with their lunch, and a few bites into her meal, finally just said, “Okay, you have to tell me what has you so flustered.”

Tori took her time with another bite of her food, just to make Jade huff with impatience, before finally stating. “I may have been remembering a certain evening in which the only woman I’ve ever loved fucked me on my own kitchen countertop.”

Jade’s eyes widened and she grinned. “Yeah?” But then immediately she muttered, “ _Our_ kitchen countertop.”

Tori rolled her eyes. “Sure, _technically_. But...yeah. That experience was...incredible. And it maybe kind of inspired a fantasy.”

“What kind of fantasy?” Jade asked keenly.

“A cliche domestic one.” Tori left it at that, for the moment, continuing to eat her sandwich.

“I don’t know if we could _get_ more domestic,” Jade pointed out after a moment. “Also, _why_ would a ‘domestic fantasy’ make you act so weird?”

“Because it’s sort of...gendered and silly,” Tori admitted.

Jade stared at her for a long time, clearly anticipating some sort of follow-up to this. Finally, she said, “So? I still want to know.”

“Well,” Tori finally said, “I guess it was sort of inspired by...recent events. But it kind of involved me in the kitchen, in like, an apron. And then you coming back inside from doing yardwork, all sweaty” (Jade snorted in disbelief) “and swaggering, and…”

Jade grew impatient, “Tori, if you want me to fuck you on the counter again, all you have to do is ask.”

Tori exhaled a breathy chuckle. “Yes, but...I was actually more imagining getting bent _over_ the counter and taken from behind. Like, you with a strap-on.” Jade was looking at her with an inscrutable expression. “I know, I know, it’s corny and kind of regressive but something about that kitchen sex we had made me feel really vulnerable and--”

“I didn’t say it was silly, or corny, or anything like that,” Jade interrupted her.

“You don’t have to _say_ it,” Tori argued.

“Okay, what’s happening here?” Jade challenged, “You have this fantasy. It sounds hot. I want to do it. Why are you acting like there’s something weird about it?”

Tori was quiet for a moment. “It’s just not the kind of fantasy I usually have.”

“Because it’s cliche?” Jade asked, “I literally came to you with a teacher/student fantasy. Cliche doesn’t mean it’s not hot.”

Tori smiled at that, Jade’s fantasy settling delightfully into her mind. “You’re absolutely right.” She let her eyes linger on Jade, watching the way the other woman flushed slightly at the mention of her long-time fantasy. “It’s not the cliche part that bothers me specifically.” Jade’s comment had been a good reminder to Tori that cliche didn’t matter. People were always apt to judge their own fantasies more than other people’s, and Tori herself had fallen victim to that same kind of thinking. But it was less about the cliche aspect and more about something else. “It’s more because...I’m usually the one helping other people’s fantasies become real.”

Jade nodded, though by her expression, she didn’t quite understand what Tori was getting at. “So...then you can’t ask someone to do the same thing?”

“I’m just not used to it,” Tori shrugged, “Especially not one where I’m so…” Powerless wasn’t the right word. Nor was vulnerable, really. But it was maybe a little bit more submissive than she tended to be in bed.

Jade just laughed, “Tori, when I got back together with you, I was expecting you to come to me with some really wild stuff. Like, suspended from the ceiling and being bullwhipped while in a latex mask wild.” Tori cocked her head to the side, because even though suspension or bullwhipping weren’t things she had the skills to do professionally, they were certainly things she was interested in learning. “But so far, you’ve slowly helped me open up about my own desires, and now you want me to fuck you in the kitchen. Who cares if it’s like, playing with heteronormative tropes. Aren’t we subverting that, anyway? It sounds hot and I want to do it.”

“Yeah?” Tori asked, which prompted Jade to glare at her in annoyance at being questioned. “Okay,” Tori agreed, “Then we’ll do it sometime.” She smirked then, “Just like we’re going to do your Hot For Teacher fantasy.”

Jade blushed again as she finished her sandwich, leaving Tori smirking as she spooned the last of her soup into her mouth. Jade stood up to take her dishes to the sink to rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher. “I should go take a shower,” she said.

Tori came up behind her and sniffed at her shoulder again, enjoying the scent of Jade after yardwork, the smell of the outdoors on her skin mingling with the heady aroma of the essence of Jade herself. 

Jade stepped away to stare at her as she loaded the dishwasher herself. “Did you just _sniff_ me again?”

“Maybe.”

“What are you, a werewolf?”

Tori shook her head. “No, though that was supposed to happen in season three.”

Jade blinked a few times before her jaw dropped. “Wait. _What_?”

“Yeah, the original _Whisper Creek_ season three was supposed to end with Marti being turned.”

“And you just _now_ are telling me about this? _Tori_.” Jade sounded extremely disappointed, “Okay,” she commanded, “You’re showering with me. Because you’re going to tell me everything you know about how the original season three was supposed to go.”

“Oh, god, I don’t even know how much more--”

“I don’t care. Whatever you can remember, you’re telling me about.” Jade grabbed her hand and tugged, taking Tori to the shower with her.

Tori had never spent an afternoon in the shower thoroughly discussing one of her old acting roles, to the delight of her shower companion, but with Jade, it seemed, there was a first time for _everything_.

-

A couple days later, Jade returned home from a day out taking pictures around Downtown Los Angeles (she was scouting some areas she thought might be interesting as a 360 concept) and found Tori in the kitchen, arranging several containers of takeout from Cactus Grill, one of their favorite Mexican restaurants. It looked like a lot of food for just the two of them.

"Uh, is Sam coming over?" 

She was really only half serious, but then Tori said, "Yeah, Cat said they wanted to come by with a friend. Or...two friends. But only one of them is eating? I didn't really ask."

That was kind of weird. But then again, this was Cat, so a friend didn't have to mean a human. "Maybe they got a puppy or something?"

"Aw, that would be so cute!" Tori had a hand to her chest as Jade moved in to kiss her, their usual greeting upon seeing each other after an afternoon apart. "How was the shoot downtown?"

"Fine. I'm still not sure how I feel about working with a public setup where there's so many people. I'm wondering if I should just capture a bunch of stuff and insert it digitally." Jade still had her camera bag slung over her shoulder, so she moved for the door that led out to the guest house so she could put things away before their dinner guests arrived. "What time are they supposed to be here?" she asked.

"Soon," Tori said, glancing at the clock. "Like, soon enough that you should wait to start reviewing your pictures."

Damn, Tori had her figured out. Jade nodded and slipped through the patio to the guest house, which was really now officially her workspace. While she was in there, she at least started the wireless export from her camera to drop onto her PearBook, so it would be waiting for her after dinner.

But Tori was right, the second Jade stepped back into the main house, there was the sound of the doorbell. "I'll get it," she said, knowing Tori was still putting the finishing touches on the dinner setup. Jade pulled open the front door to see her friends, but then also another familiar face.

"Patrice?" said Tori, from so close behind Jade that it gave her a bit of a start.

"Hi!" lilted Cat, easily moving into the doorway without waiting for an invitation. The truth was, these two really didn't even need to knock or ring the bell, they were over so frequently, at this point. Cat even knew exactly where to hang their coats (on the silver rack that stood close to the door). Sam was right behind her, followed by Patrice.

Jade shot a look at Tori. _Wait_. Was Patrice here because she was somehow part of Sam and Cat's arrangement? That...seemed suspect, because Jade knew Patrice had been their relationship counselor over the years. She kept her voice low as everyone else moved into the kitchen space, talking about how great the food smelled. "What is happening?" she asked Tori.

Tori shook her head, looking equally confused. "I have no idea. And where's the fourth person? Or non-person?"

There was a spread of chips and salsa on the coffee table, which Sam was quick to target, taking a seat on the couch right in front of it. While Jade unsuccessfully tried to corner Cat (she kept insisting she needed to get ahold of someone on her PearPad so she wasn't listening to Jade's hissed whispers) to find out what the hell was going on, Tori offered everyone something to drink and they all took a seat in the living room area. Cat sat next to Sam on the couch, Tori and Jade together on the loveseat, and Patrice in the cozy armchair Jade had received as a Christmas gift from her mother.

The small talk died down and Patrice naturally took control of the conversation. "Okay, I can tell you two are wondering what I'm doing here."

"Pretty much," Jade mumbled, sipping her lemonade. That earned her a jab in the leg from Tori. "I mean...not that you can't come over. Just...you showed up with these two."

"Fully understandable. And, I do appreciate the open invitation," Patrice said, amused. "But Sam and Cat asked me to join them tonight, because they wanted to talk to you both about something that's important to them."

_Oh god. Wait. What if._ Jade glanced at Tori, wondering if she was thinking the same thing. _What if Sam and Cat wanted to have sex with them? Okay, no, that was...that wouldn't be it. Would it?_ In response to Jade's concerned look, Tori placed her hand over Jade's and gave it a light squeeze.

"We just thought it would be helpful to have Patrice here in case you have any questions," Cat piped up, though she was still focused on her PearPad. 

"Oh shit, you're getting a divorce," Jade realized. She felt a chill move through her as she processed the thought.

Sam choked on her chip. "Fuck no. I wouldn't make Patrice come over here for that."

Cat looked up from her PearPad, "I don't know, I think she'd be very helpful in that situation."

"It's not a situation I'm planning to have," Sam replied. 

That drew a grin out of Cat. "Good."

"Anyway," Jade prompted. "Can we please get to the point so we can eat while the food is still hot?"

"Sam has a girlfriend," Cat said, succinctly. "But we're also still wives."

It was Tori's turn to appear confused. "Okay, but we already know that Sam sees other people."

"Yeah, but this is...like...different," Sam said, between bites of chips.

"Can you chill with the chips for like five seconds?" Jade shot at her, becoming even more impatient as there still were no real answers to what was going on.

Cat reached over and took the tray that Sam had been holding on her lap and set it back on the table. That didn't stop Sam from grabbing one last handful while making eye contact with Jade.

Patrice spoke up, "Initially, they wanted to invite you to sit in on a counseling session with them, but given the...complexities of the relationship dynamics of this group, I felt it would be better in an informal setting."

"Because you and Tori used to fuck?" It wasn't even mean-spirited, it was just a fact. 

"I think I missed something," came a voice from the PearPad.

"Yay, Carly's here!" Cat said, clapping her hands together before propping the tablet up on the sofa so Carly was between herself and Sam.

"I am," confirmed Carly from the screen, looking exhausted and clearly sitting propped up in bed. "And I apparently came in at a very interesting point in the conversation. Don't let me slow things down."

"Just to recap," Jade said, "Tori and Patrice used to--" There was a jab to her ribcage from Tori's elbow.

"Why don't we let our guests talk," Tori suggested. No, wait. It wasn't a suggestion. It was a demand. And it wasn't Tori talking. That was definitely a Mistress Tawny tone.

Jade looked over at Sam, who was now sitting with one leg hooked over the arm of the sofa. "We were just getting to you, Carls," Sam said, glancing at the tablet. "And how you and Cat are megatrons."

"Metamorphs," Cat corrected.

Patrice offered a delicate interjection. "It's actually metamours. Which is when two people share the same intimate partner, but aren't in a sexual relationship with each other."

"Right!" agreed Cat. "I don't like Carly that way."

Jade couldn't help herself. "Tori does."

"Hey!" Tori exclaimed, dodging a curious look from Patrice. "That's not...I had a crush when I was a kid, okay?"

"You and me both," said Sam.

"Aw, that's so sweet," Cat cooed.

"Okay, just to get this straight, you guys are in like...some triangle relationship?" Jade just wanted to get it all right. She looked over at Tori, recalling what she'd heard about the experience with Patrice and Janet.

It seemed that Patrice was picking up on Jade's thought process. "Well, a polyamorous vee relationship. In this case, Sam is at the center of the vee, being romantically connected with both Cat and Carly."

“Yeah, a vee,” Sam echoed, then raised her hand up with two fingers in a vee shape before flicking her tongue between them at Jade. Jade responded by casually flipping her off.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Tori said, beaming at all three people (two in person and one on the tablet) across from her. 

"We wanted to tell you before we moved in behind you," Cat said, happily.

"Wait, you're _all_ moving in?" Jade said at the same time as Tori said:

"Oh my god, you got the house?"

"Can we maybe talk about the rest of this over dinner?" asked Sam, her gaze drawn to the containers of food spread across the kitchen island.

Everyone rose from their seats and moved to serve themselves, except for Cat who had apparently decided to take Carly on a virtual tour of the house, which led to Tori trailing after her as Cat said, "I want to show Carly your bedroom!"

Jade picked up a plate and began loading it with a serving of enchiladas. "So, how long has this been happening?"

"A while," Sam replied, piling food onto her own plate. "A few years. Maybe more than a few."

That stopped Jade in her tracks, her arm frozen as she reached for the spoon that was sticking up out of the rice. "Years?! You tell me about every random hookup, in detail, and you didn't say anything about this?" She felt Patrice's eyes on her from across the kitchen island. "I suppose you're gonna say I should just let Sam tell me at her own pace."

"Actually," Patrice said, eyebrows raised. "I was going to ask you to pass that salsa over here, but...yes, it's probably best to let Sam explain in her own words."

Jade grumbled as she handed over the requested salsa, but she kept her mouth shut as she turned to face Sam.

And Sam...well, Sam shrugged. "It's just been a thing that's been happening. But we didn't really think it was something to talk about because Carly was in Italy and we were here so...it was just kind of casual when she'd come out to visit." 

There was more to it, Jade could tell. But she also knew Patrice was right, this was Sam's (and Cat's and Carly's) personal relationship information to share if and when she wanted to. "It's just a little bit of a surprise, is all. Because you'd never said anything about Carly. Well, not like that, anyway."

"That's why we wanted to tell you now."

"Are you sure it wasn't because you wanted to make sure Tori didn't hit on her as soon as she moved in?" Jade was starting to feel the tension pass, especially as she heard Tori talking to Carly on Cat's PearPad as they began to come back down the hall.

"Yeah, I don't know if there's any stopping that, no matter what we told you," Sam said, smirking as she carried her loaded plate to the table. 

Jade’s gaze fell to Patrice, who merely smiled, shrugged, and handed the salsa back to her. “Things tend to work themselves out,” Patrice said cryptically, “Especially with them,” she nodded toward Sam and then Cat.

Jade didn’t know quite what to make of that, so she just finished serving her food and headed to sit next to Sam at the table, listening to the excited voices of Cat, Tori and Carly through the speakers as Cat started taking the tablet outside to show Carly the backyard. Her friends were buying the house behind them. In that sense, Jade thought, things seemed to be working themselves out pretty nicely.

-

“So...what is this event going to be like, again?” Jade asked. They were in the car, on the way there, and this wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around it,” she added.

“It’s our engagement party, so...engagement party stuff?”

“Okay, but it’s also being thrown by _the Board_ ,” Jade drawled dramatically. “So I’m still not sure what kinds of things happen at a kinky engagement party.”

In truth, Tori didn’t, either. But she at least could guess. “Probably like any other engagement party, just with more risque games. I think it’ll be more like a munch than a play party.” She paused. “ _I think_.”

“But it’s at the Fet Ball location,” Jade pointed out, “That was an event that was a little more of a...play party, right?”

“Once the cameras were off, sure, but it was pretty mild.” Now Tori was starting to wonder if Jade was onto something. She assumed that the Board throwing them a kinky engagement party was going to be similar to the Christmas munch they’d attended the month before--much more about socializing than anything else. But now she wondered if the Westlake location was being rented out for the event because of the ease with which the space could be used for play. Otherwise, why not have it at a restaurant? “Whatever the plan is, I’m sure that if anything makes us uncomfortable, we can opt out.”

“I’m not really worried about being uncomfortable, I just want to know what to expect.”

Tori reflected that Jade had been curious and comfortable enough to stay for a while during the Fet Ball. Though much of this was new to Jade, she had been open to a lot of it. But Tori also knew Jade was anxious, and reliable expectations helped manage her anxiety. So Tori asked, “Want me to call Patrice?”

“Why?”

“Because she’ll be honest with me about what we can expect.”

Jade sighed, “Yeah, okay,” she said reluctantly.

Tori had her phone dial Patrice, who picked up quickly. “Hey! Stuck in traffic?”

“No, we’re almost there. Listen, we just want to know...what to expect from the party.”

“Well, it’s a celebration of you two in a safe kink space,” Patrice replied.

“Right,” Tori said slowly, “But what _kind_ of kink space? Like is this a play party?”

“It’s really whatever you want it to be,” Patrice replied unhelpfully, but continued with, “We were intending something kind of like the Fet Ball. Like, there’s a spanking booth, but it’s more silly than erotic. We planned for something really mild, but there’s potential for escalation if that’s something you want.”

Tori glanced at Jade, who just shrugged. “Mild is probably fine,” Tori replied, “Really, we just wanted an idea, because all that the invitation said was ‘kink attire welcome.’” Indeed, Tori was fully decked out in her Mistress Tawny gear, while Jade just wore a black, tight dress (that, yes, showed off her cleavage) and her trademark combat boots.

Patrice laughed, “And we have it in spades,” she replied, “See you soon, then?”

“See you soon,” Tori hung up the phone. “Does that help?” she asked Jade.

“Yeah,” Jade replied. “That helps.” After a moment, she said, “What kind of a...role should I have, for an event like this?”

“What do you mean?” Tori shot her a look to see that Jade looked pensive.

“I just mean that you get to be Mistress Tawny at these events, but I’m just...Mistress Tawny’s companion, I guess?”

“My _companion_?” Tori was amused. “Jade, you’re my _partner_ , it’s not like that’s any kind of _secret_.”

“I’m just saying it feels weird to just be _me_. Like, maybe I need a persona or something.”

“What, do you want to be Betty Sue Goldenheart all night again?” Tori teased.

“No,” Jade sighed. “I don’t know. It’s _our_ engagement party, but _you’re_ The Mistress, and you have to admit it’s a little weird.”

Tori could see where she was coming from. More than playing a kinky role, the persona was how these people knew her, it was the side of herself she showed them, so it was the appropriate presentation for the event. Though it was more about the costuming and the name than anything else. Still, Jade didn’t have that to call on for events like this. “Well, if something comes to you that feels natural...do that.”

She could see Jade stare at her from the corner of her eye. “So just...try on a role, is what you’re telling me,” she deadpanned.

“Only if you want to,” Tori replied, “I’m not expecting you to like, play the role of my slave tonight or anything. But this is a space where you’re allowed to be playful.”

Jade didn’t reply to that beyond a thoughtful grunt as Tori pulled up to the Westlake venue, where a valet was waiting to take her car. Arm in arm, they strode into the building where Jade had first been introduced to Mistress Tawny, mere months ago. It felt like much longer.

It really did remind Tori of the Fet Ball. Not just because it was the same location, but the overall atmosphere. There were far fewer people than attended the Ball, but the room was still full of people she knew in the kink community, people whose lives she’d touched--clients, friends, even a few former lovers. It was definitely less Jade’s scene than hers, but Jade was holding her own. She stuck close to Tori’s side as everyone ate, drank (unlike the Christmas munch, no alcohol was provided here, to be on the safe side) and socialized. 

Other than the outfits and the party favors (leather cuffs of various colors with _Vega ♡ West_ engraved on them) it felt like a regular party. Though Tori had insisted they didn’t need any gifts (they hadn’t even talked about any kind of gift registry yet), the Board and some of the attendees had contributed to buy them an assortment of high-end kinky toys and gear. Some of them Tori had a feeling Jade wouldn’t be interested in, and might end up in the Fungeon, but a few certainly seemed to pique Jade’s interest, particularly the new paddle (this one made of wood with a moustache design burned into it) and a wood-handled leather slapper.

And after that, the socializing turned a little more playful, as the spanking booth opened, as well as some other lightly kinky games--a St. Andrew’s cross where people could get tied up and tickled with feathers, a cage that people could be placed inside. Tori knew that this very kinky crowd was keeping things mild for the sake of Jade, who many of them might’ve assumed was her vanilla partner, and it was sort of fun to see people playing very tame games and still getting a thrill out of them: she could see the sadism in Patrice’s eyes as she tickled one of her secondary partners (a male submissive) who was begging her to stop through laughter and tears.

No one was likely to have an orgasm in this particular play setting (unless there was a tickle fetishist there, Tori supposed), but the thrum of power dynamics had the capability of turning even the tamest activities into something people found meaning in.

She and Jade mostly watched and socialized. Most people approached her, of course, because she knew them, and as the evening went on, she began to notice that Jade was standing next to her with her arms crossed, with a bit of an arrogant look on her face. She was still conversing normally with people, but when they had a moment to themselves, Tori checked in with her anyway. “Hey, is everything okay?”

Jade shot her a bewildered scowl, “Why wouldn’t everything be okay?” There was a bit of a challenge in her voice. 

“Just...checking to make sure you’re having a good time.”

Jade’s face softened. “I am,” she assured Tori in a subdued voice.

“Okay,” Tori drawled in response, eyeing her.

It clicked for Tori when someone came over and suggestively noted to them that the St. Andrew’s Cross was free and Jade just gave them a firm, deadpan, “No,” in response. Oh, _that_ was a tone that Tori recognized. But after watching the person walk away, Jade asked, “Was that too much? Can I be mean to people here?”

Tori shrugged. The person Jade had spoken to hadn’t seemed upset or looked like they even thought anything of it. “Some people would probably like it if you were mean.” She spotted Nathaniel approaching. “He’ll like it,” she suggested.

Jade turned and caught his eye. “Get me a coffee,” she demanded. “Black, one sugar.”

Nathaniel’s eyebrows ticked upward, but so did the corners of his mouth. “Yes, ma’am,” he replied easily, and changed direction to do just that.

Jade wore a satisfied smile, and Tori took in again her posture, her severe brow, and there, yep, the smirk she shot Tori. Oh, this was _very_ familiar, but it wasn’t a side of Jade she’d seen in a long time. Jade’s eyes dipped in a once-over of Tori. “What, you think you’re the only one here who can make people obey you?” she scoffed, “It’s not that hard.”

Tori raised an eyebrow, keeping her face stoic, though she was inwardly amused by Jade’s display. “Maybe you’d like to join me in the spanking booth,” she suggested, though really, it was an order.

A slow smile spread over Jade’s face. “Maybe I would,” she drawled.

Tori drew her toward the booth, which was occupied, but the two people playing around in there vacated quickly, giggling excitedly, when Jade drawled, “Yeah, Mistress Tawny needs this. _Move_.”

“Alright, bend over,” Tori demanded. She surveyed her options on the wall behind her as Jade bent at the waist, leaning onto what was essentially a padded sawhorse and thrusting her ass at Tori. Because it was such a low key event, none of the “impact play” toys in the spanking booth were particularly suited to the task. A lot of feathers and silks and ticklers, good for mild sensation play, but nothing that was likely to leave a mark, especially through clothes. Again, Tori appreciated the playful atmosphere that had been created primarily for Jade’s comfort, but this wasn’t much of a spanking booth, really.

Tori chose the silicone tickler, because it could at least deliver a light sting. Maybe not through Jade’s clothes, but it would certainly work better than the feather. She ran it over Jade’s body, along her back and stopping at her ass. Jade looked over her shoulder at Tori, smirking. “Well?” she asked.

Tori delivered the strike. It was light, and she knew it, but this wasn’t a toy she and Jade had played with before.

She wasn’t expecting Jade to react the way she did when she got paddled at home, but she _definitely_ wasn’t anticipating the return of the Sweet Sally Peaches voice as Jade trilled, “ _Oh, no! Looks like Mistress Tawny’s spanking scene is nothing more than a tickling scene_!”

Tori delivered another strike, a little harder this time. Jade merely scoffed. Tori continued a few more times, but all she got was Jade releasing an exaggerated yawn.

“Is that really all you’ve got?” Jade challenged.

“Well, I could use my _hand_ ,” Tori passed it discreetly over Jade’s ass. The spanking booth wasn’t _exactly_ private. “Since it seems like you might need a _real_ spanking,” she drawled in a low voice. Fuck, but this antagonistic version of Jade was driving Tori a little wild.

“I _do_ need a real spanking,” Jade admitted through her teeth.

“I know. And when you needle me all night, that’s exactly what you’re going to get.”

She could feel Jade shiver under her palm, which had settled on her lower back, and felt a corresponding surge of pleasure at the knowledge that she was affecting her. “Okay, but I am _not_ getting spanked right here in front of _everyone_.”

Tori glanced out of the opening to the spanking booth. Though the guests were socializing, she knew that, as the guests of honor, they certainly had the attention of a few people. She considered their options.

“Didn’t they just give us some spanking toys?” Jade pointed out.

That was a good point. They definitely had. “I could go get them.” 

“Okay, but _again_ , I’m _not_ getting spanked _right here_ ,” Jade said testily, “Especially not _with_ something.”

Tori had an idea. “You remember that staging area? Where we _talked_ last time?” She gestured toward the door.

“Yeah,” Jade nodded.

“You’ll be there in two minutes if you want this,” Tori stated, then walked out of the spanking booth.

“Fine, but only because I want to,” she heard in response.

-

In truth, the idea of a role or persona had preoccupied Jade. It was probably partially an anxiety thing; she hadn’t really found out what to expect from this event until they were on the way there, something that Tori, who was so at home in kink spaces, hadn’t really anticipated. And while it was one thing to just be Mistress Tawny’s fiancee Jade at a Christmas munch where everyone was just hanging out, this was a more private space, one that involved elements of play and mild eroticism that just weren’t present at the munch (for instance, here Jade had a pretty good idea of who was topping and who was bottoming, whereas at the munch, only the folks putting on a performance for the event gave any such indication).

The other element of frustration was that Tori did this all the time. But Jade hadn’t acted in anything in a very long time. Not since high school, really. And she knew she was good--or she used to be, anyway. She had even been quite good at improvising roles in the moment. But she was rusty, and Tori’s advice to just do what felt right in the moment hadn’t inspired anything.

At first, she could at least sort of let Tori take the brunt of the attention, since these were her people, anyway. But as she watched Tori among her friends and admirers, it occurred to Jade, who maybe already had high school on her mind as she thought about previous acting roles, that she would have _hated_ this scenario back then. It reminded her of when Tori broke all the rules by singing in a showcase that wasn’t meant for her and was let into Hollywood Arts without an official audition, and then almost immediately had Cat and Beck falling all over themselves to befriend her, integrated into Jade’s friend group, and began to gain the attention and respect of their teachers. Including stealing roles from Jade, or at least that’s how she’d seen it back then.

As Jade considered this, she took stock of her chosen outfit for the evening. The black tight dress. She was wearing boots, figuring they would fit in more with a kinky crowd than heels or flats. It was the same logic she’d used when she dressed for the Fet Ball, except in that case the black shirt and slacks were functional, to let her blend in and take pictures, and this black outfit was dressier, sexier. And she’d accessorized more with this outfit, digging out some old jewelry she probably hadn’t worn since college. Now that she thought about it, her old _Jaded_ bracelet had been one she’d liked a lot in high school.

Once it came to mind, it was easy to slip back into the role of her high school persona. It was a little odd to consider the way she used to behave as a specific role, but in retrospect, Jade knew that’s what it was. It was a personality she’d constructed to protect herself, to keep from being too vulnerable, to keep Beck and to torment Tori because she wanted her attention. It was also _her_ , of course, but bringing back the sarcastic barbs and callous veneer of her younger self was familiar enough that she could conjure it up. It also seemed to be a good fit for this kind of event, given that Tori told her some of the attendees didn’t mind Jade being mean to them. And especially because it riled up Tori, just like it used to.

Unwilling to appear too eager, Jade made her way slowly to the staging area. She got there before Tori, which she expected, as she wasn’t trying to retrieve a sex toy while moving through a crowd of people who wanted her attention. She took stock of the room as she slipped inside. She barely remembered being in it at the Fet Ball, could mostly only remember the way it felt for Tori to press her against the wall without even _touching_ her and to leave her with a business card between her lips. It was a basic office space, one that didn’t look like it was used much. There had been flats of water bottles in it last time, she remembered abruptly. But otherwise there wasn’t a lot to look at. Jade stood over against the wall, where she had the last time, closing her eyes for a moment to remember what it had been like, that first encounter with Mistress Tawny Swain.

She opened her eyes as she heard the door open, and there was Tori, looking much like she had that night, in her tuxedo cut black and pink pantsuit and her boots, gazing at Jade with stoic eyes. In one hand, she held both the wooden paddle and the leather slapper they’d been gifted.

Tori closed the space between them, standing close enough that Jade could feel the warmth of her, but she wasn’t touching Jade. Not yet. Not until her free hand came up to bury itself in Jade’s hair, tugging very slightly as her lips met Jade’s, making Jade gasp into her mouth, then moan against her lips. She let her hands settle on Tori’s waist, but Tori pulled back abruptly, “Hands against the wall,” she murmured harshly.

Jade barely dared to breath as she pressed her hands against the wall next to her. “Did anyone see you?” she asked Tori breathlessly.

Tori laughed, low and scornful, “We’re the guests of honor, what the fuck do you think?” she smirked, “I’m sure _nobody_ noticed we slipped into this office for some privacy after you mouthed off to me in the spanking booth. Or that I was holding these.” Tori waved the two toys for emphasis.

Jade flushed, both at the accusation and the implication of the very obvious reality that their absence had certainly been noticed. Tori leaned in to kiss her again, slower than Jade wanted, forcing a whine out of her throat, which made Tori pull back again, eyes feral and satisfied.

“You’re going to have to be quiet,” Tori purred.

“Why?” Jade managed, “If everyone already knows what we’re doing--”

“Because otherwise I’ll stop,” Tori interrupted, “And neither of us want that. Because I know how much you _need_ this spanking, and one of my greatest joys is punishing a _brat_.”

Jade took a deep, steadying breath. Still the only contact between them was Tori’s hand in her hair and the lips that were now back against hers. Jade needed more, _longed_ for more. When Tori pulled back, looking at her expectantly, Jade murmured, “I can be quiet.”

Tori’s eyebrow flicked upward, her lip lifting in a smirk. “We’ll see about that,” she replied, pulling away. “Turn around,” she commanded.

Jade turned, bracing her forearms against the wall as she arched her lower back, presenting her ass. She turned her head to look at Tori over her shoulder, mostly because she was certain she wasn’t supposed to.

Tori’s eyes were on her ass, looking pleased. “Exactly how I want you,” she praised, making Jade feel warm.

“Then spank me, already,” Jade challenged.

Tori glanced up at her, mouth firm, but there was amusement in her eyes. “Face the wall,” she demanded, which Jade did, and she felt soft hands at the backs of her thighs, beneath her dress, lifting the skirt of it and hiking it above Jade’s waist, leaving her ass only covered by her underwear. “Now, remember to be quiet, and count ten of these for me.” 

Jade braced herself, and though nothing remotely like this had ever happened in there, she had a strange flash of the memory of what it was like to be in the janitor’s closet with Tori, particularly the time Tori got her off in there. How they’d always have to be quiet, to be aware of their surroundings. She managed to control most of the sound of her exhales as Tori spanked her with her palm, warm-up strikes that got a little harder until Jade moaned out a, “ _ten_ ,” just a little louder than she meant to. But from the way Tori stroked her hand gently over Jade’s ass, it seemed she was forgiven.

Tori leaned close to murmur. “Now, we’ve never used either of these, so let’s see which one you prefer. Remember to be quiet.”

Jade took a breath as Tori informed her she’d be taking the wooden paddle first, and braced herself. She felt hot all over, the aftermath of pleasure radiating from her ass in the wake of the sting of Tori’s palm. She felt her heartbeat, she felt Tori, she felt the safety of the space as much as she felt the assuredness of people around them, people who would _know_ what they were doing. Unlike the janitor’s closet, no one here would be upset by what was happening in this room. 

Tori delivered the first strike with the wooden paddle, and Jade let out her breath with as quiet a vocalization as she could muster, but it was impossible to be silent as the strike took her breath away. She was sure Tori had gone light, but it was _intense_ , and Jade felt the sensation of it reverberate through her flesh, deep and hard. She took a moment to catch her breath as Tori paused, then asked, “Well?”

“You can try...a little harder.” Jade was maybe biting off more than she could chew, but she was curious. The sensation was different from the leather paddle at home. But Jade _wanted_ it, and adjusted her stance, preparing, presenting.

“Remember to breathe,” Tori instructed softly, and at the top of Jade’s next inhale came the next strike, on the other side of her ass, a little harder, as requested.

The impact knocked a stuttered moan out of Jade’s mouth that she quickly attempted to stifle. “Oh my god,” she managed breathlessly, forehead now pressed against the wall as she felt waves of pain roll through her, leaving the pleasant ache in their wake that she craved.

“More with this, or do you want to try the slapper?” Tori asked, hand stroking over Jade’s lower back reassuringly.

“The slapper,” Jade breathed. The wooden paddle was a _lot_ and she wanted to be able to take more than a couple of strikes.

Tori made a satisfied sound in her throat as she switched implements. Jade felt the leather end of the toy run over her ass. “It’s a shame your ass isn’t bare,” Tori commented, “I’d love to see how it looks after this.”

A reckless part of Jade wanted to tell her to just pull down her underwear, but she didn’t. Staying dressed almost felt _dirtier_ , in a way. “Maybe I’ll show you later,” Jade husked.

“You will,” Tori replied, as if it wasn’t even a question. Jade felt the leather lift away from her and then before she was ready, it came back down with an audible slap. Jade’s moan flew from her mouth before she could stifle it. “Careful, now,” Tori drawled warningly, “How do you like the slapper?” she asked.

It took Jade a moment to even collect her thoughts. It was similar to the leather paddle they used at home, but it stung more. She breathed through the pain as it faded to a warm glow of near-euphoric pleasure. “I love it,” she panted, “Give me more.”

A few practice strikes later, and they found the sweet spot together, that particular intensity that made Jade’s eyes roll back, her mouth stretch into an uncontrollable grin, sounds pour out of her mouth despite her efforts to subdue them. Jade thought that Tori either forgot about the edict to be quiet or decided she didn’t care, until a particularly guttural moan made her sigh, “I told you you wouldn’t be able to stay quiet.”

“I’m trying,” Jade promised, chest heaving, entire body tingling with the power of Tori’s attention, the delicious sting of the slapper even through her clothes. “They can probably hear that slapper more than they can hear me,” she challenged. Indeed, the snap of the two strips of leather upon impact was fierce, as energizing as music.

“Well then I guess we’d better stop,” Tori said easily.

“No,” Jade said immediately. She’d wanted it to be firm, direct, the way it always was when she said it in high school, but it was a whine of need.

“You want more?” Tori asked quietly, leaning close to Jade, “Even with all those people, just on the other side of that door, who _know_ you’re getting spanked in here, who can _hear_ it, you want more?”

In truth, there had been something a bit arousing about the idea of an audience when they first got started, but at this point, Jade was beyond caring about that. She was chasing a feeling, an elusive sort of pleasure, that each strike from Tori built up in her. Maybe not _quite_ an orgasm, but something similar, something she could utterly drown in. But Jade couldn’t quite find the words to say that she would still want to be spanked even if she were naked in front of a hundred people. “I need more.” She managed not to _entirely_ beg.

Tori seemed satisfied, “ _Good_. Because I’m not finished with you yet,” and landed another strike.

As Jade’s mind swam through the tumultuous swirls of pleasure and pain, she had just enough sense to realize that Tori threatening to stop had been a verbal check-in. Because Jade was no longer capable of being quiet, not with the way everything felt. She shifted her arm to bite down on her hand, trying to muffle some of the noise, but Tori sighed.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Tori admonished, “Here.” And as Jade stood motionless, Tori unsnapped the plain pink leather cuff bracelet she’d been wearing (that had been a party favor for the event itself) and instructed, “Bite.”

Jade did, trying to keep the bracelet between her teeth as she moaned and cried out through the next long round of strikes. She swam in an ocean of sensation, buffeted by waves of pain that led to a balm of pleasure, that all looked like an endless sea of possibility before her, where everything was elevated, every bad feeling was purged, and all that existed was Tori, guiding her through it, the soft sound of her voice and the care she placed in every strike she delivered.

Finally, Tori was there, guiding her back to the little room they were in together, both hands on Jade’s hips, coaxing her to stand up straighter. Jade’s weight was still supported by the wall, but she felt Tori behind her, against her back, peppering kisses against her shoulders. “That’s the most you’ve ever taken,” Tori praised, or maybe offered as an explanation for why she stopped, because Jade certainly hadn’t asked for anything to stop. “And you did _so well_. You did _amazing_.” She kissed Jade’s neck.

Jade nearly forgot about the bracelet between her teeth until she tried to respond and pushed it out of her mouth thoughtlessly. But she couldn’t figure out what to say as she felt the residual ecstasy flooding her body. She didn’t want it to be over, even though she could tell through the joy she felt that her ass was throbbing and burning in time with her heart, that she was shaking, that there were tears in her eyes.

And, that she was _painfully_ wet, her clit throbbing just as much as her ass.

Jade reached for Tori’s hand on her waist and guided it directly between her legs. She nearly jumped at the sensation, the fingers pressing automatically, as if the barrier of her underwear wasn’t there at all. Tori’s other hand balanced her against the wall, making Jade feel enveloped and secure.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Tori breathed, a single syllable that told Jade some of her control and focus had slipped. “You want me to fuck you in here, too?” she murmured in Jade’s ear.

“I need it, I’m so close,” Jade managed, still braced against the wall.

The hand on the wall moved to cover Jade’s mouth as Tori’s fingers began to circle slowly. “Okay,” she replied, “But you’ll want to be quiet for this part. Or everyone at this party will know _exactly_ what kind of slut you are,” she hissed.

Jade moaned against her fingers helplessly, thrusting her hips forward to try to give Tori better access. She moved her head, sucking on one of Tori’s fingers out of habit, which made Tori chuckle and lower her hand, slipping her arm around Jade’s torso to grab a handful of her breast, cursing under her breath as she did so. Jade grinned triumphantly, exhaling encouraging but quiet sounds, feeling her muscles already start to clench.

It occurred to her, maybe because of the constant reminders of the janitor’s closet that she’d been considering all night, that this wasn’t Mistress Tawny in this office with her, not like the first time they’d been in here together. It was Tori, the same Tori who had gotten her off in the janitor’s closet, the same Tori who had gotten her off a thousand different ways since then. Everyone outside of this room knew her as Mistress Tawny, wanted her attention, wanted her domination, some even wanted her love. But in this room, Jade had the attention, domination and love of Tori Vega, who was doing things with her that Mistress Tawny would never do with anyone else, and that was far more precious and sexy than anything.

The swell of victory and exhibitionism and love that Jade felt propelled her to orgasm along with every cascading sensation of joy that Tori had already poured into her, and she let herself cry out as her head tipped back onto Tori’s shoulder. Not loudly or excessively, but honestly, and she heard the satisfied chuckle of Tori in her ear, felt the press of lips against her neck, the grasp of fingers on her breast, the steady motion of the hand between her legs and the world turned white hot until everything burned away, leaving Jade pressed between the wall and Tori, whose gentle hands and gentle words were bringing Jade back to herself in comfort.

-

Tori felt like she was sailing through the clouds, high on the power Jade had given her, the passion she’d received in return. There was no feeling quite like it, and it was _so different_ from her work in the Fungeon, where the elevated focus and alertness of topspace was paramount. That had certainly been present, too, but like _everything_ , topping was different with Jade. Every bit of communication that passed between them felt different, more intense, more _meaningful_ than anything Tori had shared with a client or even a friend at a play party. The satisfaction of Jade’s joy, the mutual bliss of her masochism--Tori felt incredibly powerful, and inconceivably lucky, and indescribably loved.

She was also glad that this _wasn’t_ actually a play party. She figured she might have to explain it to Jade at some point, but private rooms were not really a _thing_ at play parties, for the safety of all participants. If this hadn’t been _their_ engagement party, if she hadn’t discreetly informed Patrice of what they were going to do so that no one would worry, Tori knew they never would have gotten away with it.

And as Jade turned in her arms and held her tightly, and Tori felt tears of release on her neck as Jade recovered, she was beyond grateful that they’d had the opportunity to explore in this environment.

Finally, Jade was able to speak, “God I love you,” she let out in a rush of air near Tori’s ear. “And god, I needed that.” Her voice was a little stronger, more stable.

“How does your ass feel?” Tori asked, pulling away to get a look at Jade’s face.

Jade was absolutely _glowing_ , a serene smile tugging both sides of her mouth, eyes a tranquil blue. “Hurts,” she admitted, “But not too bad.”

“I’ll put some lotion on it when we get home,” Tori promised. The protection of Jade’s clothes probably meant she’d have bruises more than surface-level trauma, but lotion and careful attention would still probably feel great. For now, she brushed Jade’s hair back from her face and smiled at her, luxuriating in the love passing between them. Her eyes caught the red hue of a fresh hickey on Jade’s neck and she bit her lip. “Oh,” she murmured, “I...may have left a mark on your neck.”

They hadn’t talked about visible marks, and Tori hadn’t meant to leave it. But she also hadn’t really expected to actually bring Jade to orgasm in here. And Jade apparently didn’t care. “Good,” she said quietly, “I want them all to know I’m yours.”

“Pretty sure that’s the whole reason they’re all here,” Tori smirked, kissing her softly. “Speaking of...are you ready to go back out there?”

Jade took in a steadying breath, then nodded. “Yeah,” she stepped away from Tori toward the door, and as Tori turned to pick up the spanking toys, she caught sight of something pink on the ground.

She was picking it up as she realized it was her party favor bracelet, the one she’d placed in Jade’s mouth to try to moderate the sounds she was making. She turned the leather cuff in her hands and noticed that, right over the words _Vega ♡ West_ engraved in the leather, there was the prominent indentation of Jade’s teeth, scraping through the outer layer of pink on the garment.

She grinned, delighted, as she snapped the cuff back in place on her wrist, knowing she would always have this very visual reminder of _exactly_ what happened at their engagement party.

When they stepped outside of the closet, no one was exactly lurking outside, though Tori could feel the way the attention in the room shifted to them. The closest person to them was Nathaniel, who held a cup of coffee in his hands. “I was looking for you,” he stated mildly, offering the coffee to Jade.

Jade looked delighted as she accepted the coffee, “Thank you,” she replied, all traces of her high school persona gone.

“Good boy,” Tori offered Nathaniel the praise he preferred, watching him smile, his cheeks tingeing pink.

Jade had already been sticking close to her during the party, but it felt different now. Tori knew that, in a sense, some of their aftercare was occurring out here publicly, out of necessity, and as Jade stuck close to her side, Tori tried to make sure she was always touching her. A hand around her waist, or on her back. Kisses on her cheek or on her knuckles. Jade barely had eyes for anyone but her, and Tori found herself smirking a lot whenever she would look over and find Jade gazing at her adoringly. She saw Jade and Patrice exchange a knowing look and a nod, but mostly, Jade just stayed next to her, eyes hardly leaving her even if they were conversing with someone else.

She also noticed the way that, when she pulled Jade in for a gentle, chaste kiss, she tended to make eye contact with people who watched them. Triumphant eye contact. Okay, Jade was _really_ into the idea of making sure everyone at this event knew how special what she and Tori had was.

Tori was into it.

Mistress Diedre approached at one point, her eyes directly on Jade. Tori tensed, a little. Though her “rivalry” with Mistress Diedre was entirely playful and this wasn’t the proper setting for it, anyway, she was also a rather unpredictable woman, and Tori wasn’t sure how Jade would fare against the other dominatrix in her snuggly state.

But Mistress Diedre gave Jade an appraising look and then said, in her low, smooth voice, “Has anyone ever told you that you have very commanding breasts?”

Jade, still tucked up against Tori, blinked for a moment. “No,” she replied, “Um, thanks? I got them from my mom.”

“She did,” Tori confirmed, eyes falling to Jade’s cleavage.

“Good for you!” Mistress Diedre crowed, smiling and nodding at Jade. She then turned to Tori, “And good for you, too,” she smirked, patting Tori’s shoulder. And then, she wandered off, leaving Tori with Jade chuckling against her shoulder.

When the party finally started wrapping up, Jade was still tucked up against Tori’s side, being affectionate and sweet in ways she usually wasn’t around other people. She wasn’t glowing in quite the same way that she was right after she’d been spanked, but her face was still relaxed, and she still wore a serene grin.

She also winced a little when she sat down in the car on the way home. The Subaru was generally a smooth ride, but Tori did her best to ensure Jade was jostled as little as possible.

At home, they began to get ready for bed, and Tori had Jade strip down and lie on her stomach on the bed so she could apply oils and lotion to her sore ass. But as she gathered her supplies, she stopped to look at Jade, pale and gorgeous against the bedspread, and the entire purpose of the evening occurred to her in a way it hadn’t quite before.

“Uh,” Tori said abruptly, “We should probably start planning our wedding, huh?”

Jade lifted her head, looking a little alarmed. “Yeah,” she said slowly, “We probably should.”

Tori could tell that neither of them had any idea where to start, so she focused on what she _could_ take care of in the moment, and tended to Jade’s beautiful bruised ass striped with faded strap marks, putting as much love into each touch as she put into each strike that had left them there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Kinky_ by Kesha (ft. Ke$ha).
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> After a half an hour or so, Jade stood over by the mantle in Holly’s living room, giving a preliminary look through some of her photos. She’d mostly managed to stay out of the way, her role as photographer making her easy to overlook. A few of her mom’s friends recognized her and they spoke briefly, but she had the excuse of getting back to work available to her. Now, she was pretty sure no one was paying her any attention as she stood off to the side.
> 
> Very sure, since a cluster of three women in front of her began talking quietly, but not so quietly that Jade couldn’t hear every word.
> 
> “Okay,” one woman, Mrs. Kelley began. Jade actually knew her; she was a friend of her mother’s. “So I don’t want to talk _too_ much book stuff before we get started, but...have either of you ever been in a situation like Regina’s?”
> 
> “What kind of situation?” breathed the blonde next to her. They were all leaning close, intrigued, fascinated.
> 
> “Well,” Mrs. Kelley continued conspiratorially, “This was...oh, maybe three or four years ago. Back when Paul and I were separated for a while. And I just really wanted the chance to explore my _bisexual_ side.”
> 
> Oh, man. Jade probably didn’t need to be hearing this. But, okay, she was nosy. Even when she sometimes found out things she regretted.
> 
> The dark-haired woman on Mrs. Kelley’s other side said quietly, “Oh, I wish I could do that, but James isn’t into that at _all_.”
> 
> “Well, Paul always wanted it to be a threesome, which I didn’t want, but that’s another story. So anyway. We were separated, so I decided to go to one of _those_ clubs.”
> 
> “You mean a _sadomasochism_ club?” the blonde asked with a mix of admiration and horror.
> 
> Jade considered walking away right then, suddenly certain she was going to find out that Mrs. Kelley had fucked _Tori_ , but Mrs. Kelley shook her head. “No, no. I went to Barbie’s.”
> 
> “That’s not a club,” scoffed the brunette. Jade was inclined to agree. Barbie’s was the sort of upscale bar that saw business meetings during the day and high-end escorts at night.
> 
> “Oh, you know what I mean,” Mrs. Kelley waved her off. “So I went to Barbie’s...and I met this woman.”
> 
> Her two companions tittered, “What was she like?” asked the brunette.
> 
> “Oh, she was...she was younger than me, certainly. Blonde, charming, confident. I wasn’t sure how much we’d have in common, but we really hit it off. Things started to get pretty _intimate_ the longer we talked.”
> 
> “So did you go home with her?” the brunette pressed eagerly.
> 
> “Well, this is where it gets _good_ ,” Mrs. Kelley purred. She shifted in her seat, clearly satisfied and flattered by the rapt attention of her two friends. “So, we’d been flirting, and touching a little bit. Nothing _too_ overt, but you know, it was obvious we were into each other. And that’s when she leaned over to me and told me, ‘I want to take you home with me, but you should know...my wife likes to _watch_.’”
> 
> Jade felt an immediate sinking feeling in her stomach. _Oh, no_. Her nosiness had gotten her in trouble once again. It was too late to back out of it. The women would certainly notice if she walked away now. So Jade stayed still, eyes focused on her camera roll, and kept listening.


	19. Sixteen: But I never would have had a doubt if I'd have known where I'd be now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe you've noticed that the chapter count keeps inching higher, but we're a little reluctant to let these two go just yet, much like many of you. There are so many various threads we want to make sure to follow and tie up, so we're being thorough.
> 
> And a note, if you're dreading the closure of this story and haven't checked out Part 4 (the Puckentine fic), there's a lot of Jori within that piece, as well. All those years we glossed over in the prologue here? There are plenty of windows into their college life (and beyond) to be found in Part 4.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for sticking around!

Jade didn’t particularly want to be there, but she’d agreed to do her mother this favor. Actually, she’d offered to do her mother this favor for everyone’s good. Apparently, Tiffany and Holly wanted to start a Spectrogram account for their Women Over 40 Erotic Book Club and Tiffany had pitched an idea to Jade that was _so tacky_ that she’d immediately scrubbed it from her brain and insisted that she take pictures from their next book club meeting for them to use on their account.

So, here she was. She’d shown up early, taking pictures of the spread of snacks and wine that were always served at these events, and now people were starting to trickle in. Her mom had informed her that there was usually a social hour so the ladies could all catch up before they actually got around to talking about the book, so Jade figured it was a prime time to circle the room and snap pictures of people talking and laughing, drinking wine, and clearly enjoying each others’ company.

After a half an hour or so, Jade herself tucked away over by the mantle in the Vega’s living room, giving a preliminary look through some of her photos. She’d mostly managed to stay out of the way, her role as photographer making her easy to overlook. A few of her mom’s friends recognized her and they spoke briefly, but she had the excuse of getting back to work available to her. Now, she was pretty sure no one was paying her any attention as she stood off to the side.

Very sure, since a cluster of three women in front of her began talking quietly, but not so quietly that Jade couldn’t hear every word.

“Okay,” one woman, Mrs. Kelley began. Jade actually knew her; she was a friend of her mother’s. “So I don’t want to talk _too_ much book stuff before we get started, but...have either of you ever been in a situation like Regina’s?”

“What kind of situation?” breathed the blonde next to her. They were all leaning close, intrigued, fascinated.

“Well,” Mrs. Kelley continued conspiratorially, “This was...oh, maybe three or four years ago. Back when Paul and I were separated for a while. And I just really wanted the chance to explore my _bisexual_ side.”

Oh, man. Jade probably didn’t need to be hearing this. But, okay, she was nosy. Even when she sometimes found out things she regretted.

The dark-haired woman on Mrs. Kelley’s other side said quietly, “Oh, I wish I could do that, but James isn’t into that at _all_.”

“Well, Paul always wanted it to be a threesome, which I didn’t want, but that’s another story. So anyway. We were separated, so I decided to go to one of _those_ clubs.”

“You mean a _sadomasochism_ club?” the blonde asked with a mix of admiration and horror.

Jade considered walking away right then, suddenly certain she was going to find out that Mrs. Kelley had fucked _Tori_ , but Mrs. Kelley shook her head. “No, no. I went to Barbie’s.”

“That’s not a club,” scoffed the brunette. Jade was inclined to agree. Barbie’s was the sort of upscale bar that saw business meetings during the day and high-end escorts at night.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Mrs. Kelley waved her off. “So, I went to Barbie’s...and I met this woman.”

Her two companions tittered, “What was she like?” asked the brunette.

“Oh, she was...she was younger than me, certainly. Blonde, charming, confident. I wasn’t sure how much we’d have in common, but we really hit it off. Things started to get pretty _intimate_ the longer we talked.”

“Did you go home with her?” the brunette pressed eagerly.

“Well, this is where it gets _good_ ,” Mrs. Kelley purred. She shifted in her seat, clearly satisfied and flattered by the rapt attention of her two friends. “We’d been flirting, and touching a little bit. Nothing _too_ overt, but you know, it was obvious we were into each other. And that’s when she leaned over to me and told me, ‘I want to take you home with me, but you should know...my wife likes to _watch_.’”

Jade felt an immediate sinking feeling in her stomach. _Oh, no_. Her nosiness had gotten her in trouble once again. It was too late to back out of it. The women would certainly notice if she walked away now. All Jade could do was stay still, eyes focused on her camera roll as she kept listening.

“Her _wife_?” the blonde asked, awed.

“Did you do it?” the brunette pressed impatiently.

Mrs. Kelley licked her lips and chuckled. “Oh, I did it. I went home with her. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other in the WeDriveU. They had this cute little apartment near the beach. Her wife was this adorable little redhead, and it was true, all she wanted to do was just _watch_.”

Even though Jade knew all of the nuances of Sam and Cat’s open relationship already, hearing it presented as an erotic highlight in the life of one of her mom’s friends was profoundly weird. She pulled out her phone to text Sam.

**Did you fuck Mrs. Kelley???**

Maybe it wasn’t about Sam and Cat. Even though every detail lined up. The women were still talking.

“You didn’t have sex with the redhead at all?” the brunette wanted to know.

“No, no. Like I said, she just watched me have sex with her wife. Which, you’d think that might be weird? Or awkward? But oh, I could just _see_ how much she was enjoying it. How much they were _both_ enjoying it. It was really fun and so hot. And oh my _god_ , I came harder with that woman than I ever have in my _life_ ,” (here, Jade was certain she was blushing) “And I got to please a woman for the first time and...I think I did pretty good,” Mrs. Kelley sat back, apparently very satisfied.

“ _Wow_ ,” The blonde said in a hushed tone, “That _is_ like what happened to Regina.”

“Do you have her number?” the brunette pressed eagerly.

Mrs. Kelley laughed and said no, but Jade’s attention was drawn to the text from Sam.

**Who?**

**I don’t think I’ve ever fucked somebody I had to call Mrs. anything**

Jade huffed and scrolled to a picture on her camera that she had taken of Mrs. Kelley and her two friends chatting and pushed it to her phone so she could send it to Sam. Who responded quickly.

**Ooh, yeah! Nicolette!**

**Yeah that happened**

**Wait you mean the one in the middle right?**

**Yes, the one in the middle Why, have you slept with the others, too??**

**Nah, but they’re hot**

**Oh my god**

**Mrs. Kelley is friends with my mom! What were you doing at Barbie’s, anyway?**

**That’s where I go to catch cougars**

**Well I just had to hear ALL ABOUT your night with her**

**Sounds like Cat might remember her too**

**Seriously, does Carly know you two do this stuff?**

Maybe she was still reeling, a little bit, from the reveal about Carly, and _just how long_ that had been going on. She had to poke at Sam a little bit about that. First there had been their open relationship, which Jade had been left to guess at back in college, and now this. Sure, her friends deserved their privacy, but Jade hated to be left out of the loop.

**Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah**

**Though we’re actually probably restructuring how our relationship works**

**Like once Carly gets here**

**Sam probably won’t need to go out so much anymore**

**But I think she’s okay with that, because she has Carly and me**

**And I think we’re more than capable of meeting her needs**

**And I’m just so excited for Carly to get here!**

Jade immediately noticed the shift in the texts, but it didn’t throw her much.

**Uh, hi Cat**

**Do you...always look at Sam’s texts?**

**I only look when she says I can**

**Which is a lot because she knows I’ll just ask about it**

**And right now she’s making a sandwich so**

**You get to talk to me! 😸**

Somehow, talking to Cat about Sam’s antics was much less fun.

**Well I’m happy for you three**

**Thanks! 😺**

**You’re still helping this weekend, right?**

Jade sighed. She and Tori had been roped into helping Sam, Cat and Carly move into the house behind them. Jade was ultimately happy to help, though she wasn’t looking forward to it. Did anyone ever look forward to helping friends move?

**Don’t worry, we’ll be there**

Jade tucked her phone back in her pocket, deciding she should prepare to take pictures of the actual book club meeting. She just figured she’d try not to look at Mrs. Kelley for a while.

-

Moving day for Cat, Sam, and Carly was about what Tori expected: busy, long, and exhausting, but ultimately satisfying. Jade was now the “friend with the truck,” and it seemed to have just dawned on her that she was going to be very much in demand for moving days for anyone she knew. They had Goomer and his truck there to help, too, and with both vehicles and all the hands on deck, they were able to get everything moved out of Sam and Cat’s apartment in a reasonable amount of time.

It had already been decided that most of the furniture from the set of _That’s a Drag_ wasn’t coming to the new house with them. They wanted a fresh start, with Carly, and that involved all three of them having input on common spaces. Some of the decorative items were coming with them, a representation of the earliest moments of Sam and Cat’s relationship, when they were falling in love before anything occurred between them. But as they were deciding to get new furniture and debating what to do with the old, Tori had asked if she could have it. She wanted to create a new set for her Moustache Media work, and the quirkiness of the furniture from the old sitcom felt appropriate.

Tori and Jade moved the old furniture to the Moustache Media location while Goomer, Dice and Sam went to pick up some new pieces they’d ordered from Wanko’s and Cat and Carly began unpacking essentials at the house. Additionally, Tori and Jade had facilitated a furniture delivery the day before for some items, while Sam and Cat were dealing with picking up Carly from the airport. Everything was piecemeal and scattered and exactly the sort of thing that could be expected for a big move.

Once all the furniture was moved to approximately the right parts of the house, Sam ordered pizza for everyone (including an entire pie just for herself). Though the house was a mess, the new home owners gave their friends a tour, anyway. There was the master bedroom that, similar to the old bedroom in Sam and Cat’s apartment, had a king bed and a twin bed in it, though it seemed that with the addition of Carly, it was less clear who was sleeping where. Cat and Sam were evidently sharing the master bathroom (“I’m used to sharing a bathroom with Sam” was Cat’s casual explanation), whereas Carly had essentially her own bedroom and bathroom (though Tori wondered how often Carly was actually going to sleep in her own double bed). The third bedroom, because the house was a bit bigger than Tori and Jade’s, was to be Cat’s crafting room. And, it seemed, the garage was meant to be Sam’s private space to get away.

When they finally sprawled out on new furniture, some of it still covered in plastic, and ate pizza, they were all pretty exhausted. Jade offered the use of the jacuzzi for anyone who felt they needed it. Dice and Goomer declined, on account of not having swimsuits, Cat said she wanted to focus on unpacking a few more things, Sam didn’t have any idea where she’d packed her bathing suit, and Carly was honestly almost too exhausted to speak, let alone come over to use the jacuzzi. Jade assured them that they were welcome any time, and after she and Tori ate their fill, they followed Dice and Goomer out of the house, leaving the new residents alone to settle in.

The next day, Tori was home, doing some of her weekly housework, but Jade had gone to Hollywood to meet up with their moms to go over some of the pictures she’d taken for the erotic book club. It was the kind of thing Tori would normally accompany her for, but she was also looking forward to having some time to herself after she finished her housework. Maybe start on another puzzle.

She was listening to music, and almost didn’t hear when the doorbell rang, but she turned off her wireless headphones and went to answer the door.

Carly was on the doorstep.

“Oh, hi!” Tori greeted.

“Hey,” Carly waved. Tori noticed she was wearing track pants and a flannel shirt. She wondered if Carly was still unpacking her clothes. “So, uh, Jade had said the jacuzzi was up for grabs, is that still true?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, for sure,” Tori nodded, ushering Carly into the house. “Um, so, welcome!” she gestured with a flourish, “I can give you a tour, if you want.”

Carly gave her a slight smile, “I kind of already got one on video chat,” she reminded Tori, “But, it was like three in the morning for me, and I was exhausted, and everything looks different in person anyway, so sure! Show me around!”

“Okay! Cool! Great!” Tori forced herself to stop talking as she just kept repeating enthusiastic syllables.

Tori did her best to keep the tour of her house brief, considering Carly had seen a lot of it before, and also because Carly was primarily there to get in the jacuzzi. It was also a little surreal and nerve-wracking to find herself alone with Carly Shay. Tori had encountered a good number of celebrities in the various stages of her career--film and television stars, adult entertainers, sex education gurus--but there was something about Carly that still filled Tori with that same kind of breathless excitement she’d felt the time she ran into Weird Al as a teenager and had him sign something for her. It made no sense; she’d met Carly as a teenager, even hung out with her several times over the years, and it hadn’t felt like this.

She needed to get a grip. She didn’t need Jade to have more reasons to tease her, or Sam to have a reason to be upset with her. Not that she thought Sam would, Sam had seemed pretty sympathetic when she’d found out about Tori’s old crush. But that also meant Carly probably was aware of her old crush, and what if Carly thought she _still_ had a crush, and what if Tori _did_ still have a crush even though she didn’t think she did but _why_ was this so awkward?

After the brief tour, Tori excused herself to the bathroom to change into her swimsuit and also give herself a mental pep talk to just be _chill_ , ignoring the Jade-like voice in her head that accused her of being perpetually _unchill_. Carly indicated she was wearing her own bathing suit under her clothes--perhaps that was the reason her outfit was so casual--and by the time Tori came out, Carly’s flannel and track pants were on the boot bench, revealing that she was, in fact, wearing her bikini under the casual outfit. She looked _great_ , but Tori was relieved that she wasn’t any more flustered by Carly’s attire than by her presence in general.

Carly offered her a smile. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yep!”

They headed outside together. It was a sunny day, warm enough that they were reasonably comfortable if they were in the sun. Tori removed the cover from the jacuzzi as she told Carly about the guest house and how Jade had lived in it for a while, but it was now Jade’s workspace. She pointed out the shed, where the gate was going to be installed on the wall between their houses, and even indicated toward where Hamster’s cat house sat at the corner of the house.

As if on cue, Hamster came bounding over the wall and trotted toward them with his tail lifted in greeting. “Oh! Here’s Hamster,” Tori crouched to offer him some pets, which he accepted with vigorous attention.

Carly knelt next to her, letting Hamster sniff her hand before rubbing his face enthusiastically against her knuckles. “Aww, he’s so sweet,” she cooed.

“He is,” Tori agreed, “He’s an outdoor boy, but the closest thing he ever had to an owner was the old man you bought your house from. So he’s probably going to spend a lot of time in your yard, and he comes over here a lot.”

“So what you’re saying is, we share a cat?” Carly asked, amusement in her eyes.

“Looks that way,” Tori chuckled, “Though I’m sure we’re not the only ones in the neighborhood he likes.”

“Well, still. I’ll make sure to put a food bowl out for him. I think Cat will be thrilled.”

“I know she will,” Tori agreed. Hamster had rolled over onto his back as Carly pet him, but she drew her hand away, not daring to touch his belly, and a moment later he sprang back onto his feet, shook himself off, and moved excitedly for the food bowl near the back door. “So, uh, ready to get in?”

“So ready,” Carly sighed, and the two of them climbed into the jacuzzi together.

It was weird, watching Carly settle into the jacuzzi on Jade’s “side,” in as much as she and Jade still adhered to that boundary. Though Tori anticipated that their friends would join them in the jacuzzi once they were neighbors, she really hadn’t anticipated the first time being just Carly and herself. “Where are Sam and Cat?” she asked, finally realizing it might be a little odd that one or both of them weren’t with Carly on this visit.

“They went out to do some shopping for things for the household, but I was too beat to join them,” Carly admitted. “Later in the week we’re all going to go shopping together, because I know letting them be in charge of buying some of this stuff might be trouble, but right now, I’m still pretty jet-lagged.”

“I bet,” Tori said sympathetically.

“I at least mostly managed to sleep pretty well last night, I guess because the day was so busy.” Carly closed her eyes as she sank into the water, resting her head back on the edge of the jacuzzi.

Tori sat, trying not to just watch Carly, that itchy feeling of awkwardness still filling her bones. She wondered if Carly slept in bed with Sam and Cat or if she’d spent the night in her own room. Not that it was any of her business. She’d known several people in polyamorous relationships before now, even participated in one with Patrice and Janet. But she still found herself with a specific curiosity about how her friends were navigating this. Still, though, it wasn’t her business. Finally, she asked, “So are you, like...sore from the move?”

Carly opened her eyes, “Yeah, a bit,” she sighed.

Tori nodded, an idea coming to her. “I have something else that might help with that,” she revealed. “Do you still smoke weed?”

Carly’s eyes lit up, “Not very often, but yes.”

“Hang on,” Tori stepped out of the jacuzzi, “I’ll be right back!” she threw her towel around herself and hurried into the house.

There was already weed in her vaporizer, but it was an indica dominant strain, and she didn’t want to just put Carly to sleep, so she switched it out for a hybrid that would keep their minds active but also, in her experience, would still deliver a nice body high. And maybe it would let Tori just _chill out_ a little as they hung out instead of getting stuck in her weird star-struck state.

“Okay,” Tori said as she came back, tossing her towel back onto the picnic table. “We absolutely _cannot_ drop this in the water. But this is my vape, and what’s in here should help you feel better.”

“Oh, I’m so excited, I’ve never used one of these,” Carly gushed.

Tori figured she’d stay outside the jacuzzi as they vaped, knowing she would just have to run the vape back to the picnic table when they were done. She showed Carly how the vape worked as it warmed up, then passed it to her when it was ready.

“Oop,” Carly fumbled it, and Tori heard a splash.

“Fuck,” Tori stared wide-eyed at Carly, then her gaze dropped to the water, trying to see where the vape had landed. “Carly, _fuck_! Do you see it? Can you grab it?”

Instead of looking horrified though, Carly was grinning. “Gotcha,” she said, holding the vape safely in her hand.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Tori was torn between anger and amusement, “You really got me you...you...dammit! That was fucked up!”

“I know,” Carly laughed, taking her hit, “Sorry about that,” she said as she passed it back.

“It’s okay,” Tori conceded, her anger already evaporating with the relief that her vaporizer was safe. It was moments like this that reminded her of why Carly and Sam were best friends.

Or, she reflected, _more than_ best friends. They were partners now. She was still getting used to that, a little.

Once they’d passed the vaporizer a few more times, Tori figured they’d better stop, especially if Carly was an infrequent cannabis consumer. Though, living with Sam, that might change in the future. Tori took one more big hit, willing it to help her relax, and padded across the lawn to place the vaporizer safely on the picnic table, then gratefully slid back into the water. The winter afternoon sunlight wasn’t quite warm enough to be pleasant when your skin was wet.

Carly was sinking contentedly into the water, face a blissful mask. “Oh, this is _nice_ ,” she murmured.

“It really is. Jade kind of bought this without even consulting me, but I have to say, I’m not even mad about it.”

“What was that weed called?” Carly asked.

“That one’s Janeway’s Coffee. It’s considered to be a nice, rounded hybrid.”

“Tasted kind of like coffee,” Carly appeared to consider the experience, “Maybe a little bit nutty, too.”

“It has such deep purple flowers, too, it’s almost black.”

Carly grinned, “It’s so cool that you know this stuff.”

“It’s part of the work I do. And some of the work I want to expand as I rework Moustache Media.” She paused, “But I don’t really want to talk about work right now.”

“Good, because me neither,” Carly agreed, closing her eyes. But almost immediately, she opened them again, “Not that I’m not like, _really excited_ to work together. I am. I want you to know that.”

Tori laughed, “I know. Me, too. But when we’re high in the jacuzzi isn’t likely to be the most productive time.”

“That’s so true,” Carly replied, and they lapsed into silence again for a moment. Then, apparently still slightly fixated on work, Carly said, “I’m really glad you offered me that job. And I feel really good about it, like, I’m not worried about it affecting our friendship or anything. Because that’s important to me.”

Tori stirred in the water, a bit awed by the confession. “Yeah?”

Carly looked at her, “Yeah. I mean, I know we’re not _super_ close, but I always thought you were cool. Like, ever since we both dated the same loser in high school and got to publicly humiliate him. I don’t know. I’m just really glad we’re friends, Tori.”

Tori felt overwhelmed by delight and relief. “Oh my god. Me, too!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah?” Carly asked.

“Yes! I’ve always thought you were so cool, I always wanted to be better friends with you, and now we’re _neighbors_ , and I’m just so happy you feel the same way!”

“Of course I do,” Carly replied, and next thing Tori knew, they were hugging and laughing about it, the elevated emotionality of the experience threatening to bring Tori to tears.

“I’m just really relieved,” Tori babbled, pulling out of the hug but grabbing Carly’s hands, “Because I know sometimes I would just be really unchill around you when I was younger.”

Carly laughed, “Oh, you weren’t _that_ bad.”

“No, but I was,” Tori said sadly. The first time they’d met at the party at Kenan Thompson’s house had probably been when Tori kept it together the best. But she had been so singularly focused on her lousy shared boyfriend, and then on revenge on said lousy shared boyfriend, that she felt like she barely had time to fully take in that she was hanging out with the cast of _iCarly_. Maybe it was her age, too. When Tori first got into Hollywood Arts, there was a stretch of time in which she had the chance to meet so many famous people that it almost felt commonplace, like the world owed it to her, and it wasn’t until she got a little older that she began to recognize how lucky she was.

But by the time she ran into Carly again, when she was in college, Tori no longer knew how to act around her. Even though she’d known Sam for a while at that point, Carly was another matter entirely. Maybe it was because Cat made Sam seem _so fucking normal_ that Tori just accepted that Sam was in their friend group. Maybe coming out also had something to do with her suddenly developing a lack of chill around Carly, even if she hadn’t admitted to herself that she’d had a crush.

In her high state, Tori decided this was exactly what she needed to bring up. “No, I mean it, I know I made it awkward sometimes when we’d hang out when we were in college and stuff. And I didn’t know why then, but I know why now. I had a big crush on you when I was younger.”

Carly smirked, “I seem to remember this coming up during that video call that I was barely awake for.”

Tori nodded, “Yeah. But I just want to assure you that I don’t have a crush now! It’s just...it was kind of a recent realization. I remember I just thought you were so pretty and inspiring when you did your show, but I didn’t fully connect what that meant for me until much later. I don’t know. The same thing kind of happened with Jade, I sort of had a crush on her like, a year before we even kissed, but I wasn’t even really sure if I was gay or anything yet, I just knew I liked being around her. It was just...you were probably my first big babygay crush, but you were also an inspiration for me to get into performing. And the more I talk, the more I realize it sounds like I’m still into you, but I promise I’m not, don’t tell Sam anything.”

Carly was already laughing, “Is this what you mean by being unchill?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Tori’s shoulders slumped, and she fell back against the jets on her side of the jacuzzi. “I didn’t mean to make it weird.”

“Don’t worry, you didn’t,” Carly grinned, “I’m flattered, honestly.”

“I don’t even know if it was even a _sexual_ crush,” Tori began, though, did that really make it any better? She should probably just stop talking.

But this seemed to interest Carly, “Then was it like...a friend crush?”

“Yeah, maybe so,” Tori said. “I used to have this fantasy…” she paused. Would she ever stop putting her foot in her mouth during this conversation? Maybe Janeway’s Coffee was a bad idea.

“Please tell me you’re not going to say I can’t tell Sam about this,” Carly sounded delighted, “Because this is already too good and you absolutely have to tell me more.”

“Fine,” Tori sighed, “When I would think about you, it would just be you and I like, being friends and doing silly stuff together. Like, did you ever play hair salon as a kid?”

Carly’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I loved playing hair salon! Sometimes I could get Spencer to play it with me. Sam, not so much.”

“Yeah,” Tori said thoughtfully, “I can’t really see Sam playing hair salon. Maybe, like, auto shop.”

“With Sam it was more like Fight Club.”

Tori laughed, “That makes sense, too.”

“Well, should we do it then?” Carly asked.

“Do what?”

“Play hair salon! You’ve always wanted to play hair salon with me, so why the hell not? It’s probably even more fun in the jacuzzi.”

“You really want to do it?” Tori asked in astonishment.

“Hey, we probably would’ve been great friends when we were kids. So why not, like, do some of that stuff now?”

Tori stared at her, then smiled, “You really do get me, Carly.”

-

Jade’s meeting with their moms didn’t run too long, and they were happy with the pictures she took at their last book club meeting. They’d done some work talking about how to roll out the images to curate their Spectrogram so it always felt active, how to hashtag appropriately, and they discussed whether Jade would be coming to regularly take pictures or whether she could trust Tiffany and Holly to take their own. Jade liked having creative control over things she was invested in, and even though she didn’t care _that_ much about the Women Over 40 Erotic Book Club, now that she’d been brought in to help (and already paid the price by being traumatized by what she’d overheard in doing so), she wanted to make sure it stayed looking professional. She was considering doing more work for them, if it seemed necessary.

She parked in the driveway and wondered if she should remind Tori about their idea to widen the driveway, so both their cars fit. It was weird that their house didn’t have a garage, since most of the houses in their neighborhood did. Jade wondered if the guest house used to be a garage; there was that narrow alley by the house, and without the wall around the yard, maybe it could have led to a garage in the backyard. Maybe they should think about covering the driveway, too.

Jade expected Tori to be inside on the couch when she came home, but she wasn’t there. Still, it wasn’t that weird. Jade called out to her, but there was no answer. She walked down the hall to poke her head into the bedroom, wondering if she’d find Tori napping (or on the bed, limbs wrapped around her body pillow) but all she saw was a set of unfamiliar clothes on the boot bench.

Her eyes narrowed. That was weird, right? No one was in the bathroom, so Jade decided to check the backyard...where she found Tori and Carly in the jacuzzi, giggling like they were at least half their age, as Tori sat in front of Carly who was playing with her hair.

“What’s going on out here?” Jade tried for amusement, but her voice came out a little firmer than she meant it.

“Hi, Jade!” Tori’s eyes flew open and she sent her a huge, goofy smile, the kind that told Jade she was probably quite high.

Jade relaxed at just the sight of it. “Hey, nerd,” she replied. “Uh, hi, Carly.”

“Hey,” Carly drawled before dissolving into giggles again. But then she said, “I came over to use the jacuzzi and we’re playing hair salon!”

“You’re playing _what_?”

“Hair salon!” Tori was the one who replied this time, “Because I always wanted to be Carly’s best friend when I was younger and we talked about it and we’re just going to relive the childhood we never had together!”

“I see,” Jade felt the smile tugging her lips, even though she was still mostly just confused. But excited Tori was always adorable, and it was kind of a relief to see Tori so relaxed around Carly after all the ribbing she’d gotten over the years (even if weed was probably responsible for most of her relaxation). “Well, I’ll leave you to your hairdresser game.”

“Hair salon!” Carly called after her, a correction. Jade just waved her off and headed inside, shaking her head.

She guessed this was probably just the prelude to what life was going to be like with their new neighbors.

-

It was the middle of the week, a winter morning warm enough that they’d decided to enjoy coffee outside, on a blanket on the lawn rather than in the shade under the patio. Tori had missed taking their morning coffee outside, and was appreciating the chance to get some sunshine on her skin. Even Jade couldn’t complain much about the sun, especially not during this time of year. She sat close to Tori on the blanket, coffee cupped in both hands in front of her, breathing in the warmth of it between sips. Tori held a paperback in one hand and her coffee in the other, content with their easy, quiet morning.

When Jade finished her first cup, she got up to take both their mugs over to the patio, where the Chemex sat safely on the table, to pour them refills. Tori nodded her thanks as Jade passed the mug back, receiving a grumpy grunt in return. Jade was still waking up. No big surprise there.

What was surprising, however, was the first sentence Jade spoke after she finished her second cup of coffee.

“I guess this lawn is starting to get kind of long,” she observed. Tori raised an eyebrow, because it wasn’t, not really. “Maybe this weekend I might need to give it a trim,” Jade finished, quirking her own pierced eyebrow right back at Tori.

“Oh?” Tori lilted back, “I mean, if you want to, that would certainly be nice.”

Jade held her gaze for a moment, lip twitching into something like a grin, and then she asked in a quiet voice, “So, how exactly do you imagine this playing out?”

“You mean...my fantasy?” Tori returned in her own quiet voice. It was instinct to reply in the same tone as Jade, but as she spoke, she realized why it might be important. They had neighbors now. Ones who might come to the back fence and overhear things.

Jade’s expression suggested that Tori’s question was ridiculous. “No, Tori,” she said, slightly louder, “My lawn mowing method. _Yes, your fantasy_ ,” she finished in a hiss.

Tori slipped the old note from Jade that served as her bookmark back into her book and placed it on the blanket next to her, leaning back on one arm as she took a contemplative sip of her coffee. “I mean,” she started, “Kind of like I already said. You’re doing yardwork, and looking damn good doing it. And when you come back inside, I’m in the kitchen, doing housework--”

“And looking damn good doing it,” Jade cut in.

Tori couldn’t help her grin. “I--that’s good to know,” she faltered slightly, “Um, anyway, so, you’d just be so damn _attracted_ to me when you came back in that you wouldn’t be able to help yourself, and you’d just...want to fuck me, right there in the kitchen.”

Jade nodded thoughtfully, taking that in. “Does...that mean I’m wearing the strap-on the entire time I’m mowing the lawn?” she asked.

Tori laughed slightly, “Oh, god no, I wouldn’t ask you to do that. That sounds like it’d be really uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, probably,” Jade agreed, though she was looking thoughtful. “But like, I also don’t want to put any kind of hiccup in your fantasy if I have to pause from coming in from the yardwork to go pull on a strap-on.”

“Maybe you can duck into the guest house to do it just as you’re finishing with the lawn?” Tori suggested.

Jade seemed to like that idea. “Yeah, okay. I could do that.” She lapsed into silence again.

“You know,” Tori ventured, “I don’t even know that you _need_ to be mowing the lawn. I mean, now that I think about it, maybe I’d prefer you to not be covered in grass clippings if we’re about to have sex.”

“But it’s the yardwork that gets you all hot,” Jade frowned.

“True,” Tori admitted, “But it’s also just like, you, in those sleeveless shirts, out in the sunshine. Even if you were just swaggering around the backyard long enough to get a little sweaty that would probably achieve the same thing.”

“I don’t get _sweaty_ ,” Jade argued reflexively. She cast a glance toward the newly-installed back gate. “You know, I’m also realizing we have...neighbors now.”

Tori hadn’t thought much about that, “That’s true.”

“So I just hope they don’t show up when I’m coming back into the house wearing the strap-on.”

“Maybe you should also worry about them showing up when you’re _actually_ fucking me in the kitchen,” Tori observed.

Jade looked past Tori to where the kitchen window was, “That’s a good point.”

“We could close the kitchen window curtains,” Tori suggested, watching Jade, “Or not.”

“Do you want to close them?” Jade asked directly.

“I’m not really sure,” Tori admitted, “Would it be sort of exciting if they were open?” Jade was craning her neck, now. “What?”

“I’m trying to see. I don’t really think you can see anything unless you get like, right up to the window. So if you want to leave them open...we’d probably be safe.” She paused. “Unless they could _hear_ you.”

“I don’t think they could hear me.”

Jade gave her a skeptical look, but it appeared the risk of being caught by their new neighbors who had access to the gate between their properties had excited something in them both.

“So, like, the sex,” Jade began, “Is there anything specific about it?”

“It’s more the scenario, I think,” Tori said thoughtfully, “Like, it’s about you coming back inside and just telling me how much you want me, right now, and I’m already ready for you, because I want you just as much.” But now that she was considering it, she said, “I guess maybe the sex could be a little...rough.”

“Okay,” Jade nodded, then her mouth twisted. “But like...what am I supposed to say to you that doesn’t just sound like a cheesy porno intro?”

“I don’t know, you know how to tell me I’m hot without it being cheesy,” Tori shrugged. “Or, you know. We could just embrace the cheesy. Maybe I tell you we need to be quick because we need to finish before the meatloaf is done.”

“Wait, so is this happening right before dinner?” Jade asked curiously.

“I don’t know if there’s _real_ meatloaf.” But as she said it, Tori realized she liked the idea of actually preparing food as she waited in the kitchen, anticipating being fucked. “But there could be. If you want meatloaf this weekend.”

“You do make a mean meatloaf,” Jade nodded, lapsing back into thoughtful silence. A moment later, she asked, “If I’m the first person who’s fucked you with a strap-on...have you...really had rough sex before? From the receiving end?”

“Not really,” Tori admitted, “Not with regard to penetration, anyway.”

“How can I be sure I won’t hurt you?”

“That’s why we have a safeword,” Tori said reasonably. “And I’ve used a lot of dildos,” she added, hoping to reassure Jade that it wasn’t as though penetration was foreign to her.

“Yeah, I see those sex toy bins every morning when I get dressed, I’m well aware,” Jade rolled her eyes. “I just know it can be really intense, and I want to make sure it’s really what you want.”

“Jade,” Tori reached for one of her hands, “If it’s too much, I’ll let you know. Trust me.”

Jade’s expression softened into a smile. “Yeah, I know you will.”

“I don’t know that what I want is...quite as intense as what I give to you,” she smirked, watching Jade turn a little pink. “But if it feels right to get a little rough, I’m open to it.”

Jade nodded slowly. “So...you’re open to being a little...submissive for this, is what you’re telling me.”

Tori felt herself beaming at Jade, who shot her a confused look. But she was honestly so proud of Jade for trying to ask the right kinds of questions to draw Tori out about this fantasy before they enacted it. Tori didn’t really think she’d been on this side of the conversation since she’d negotiated scenes with Patrice, years ago. “Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.”

“Okay,” Jade said quietly, seeming to digest everything. “So, we can be a little cheesy, we can keep an eye out to make sure our friends aren’t going to catch us, and you’re letting me decide if I want to get a little rough,” she summed up, eyes meeting Tori’s as Tori nodded. “I guess we can like, do it this weekend, then.” She stated it casually, like they were agreeing to go out to dinner, but the acknowledgement of it still thrummed in Tori’s heart briefly, a pulse of eager anticipation. Jade stood up, “More coffee?” she asked, reaching for Tori’s mug.

“Sure,” Tori grinned back at her, watching Jade in her pajama shorts and her long-sleeved top as she walked back to the picnic table to pour them refills. Now that she knew Jade would always come back to her, she’d never get tired of watching her walk away again.

Jade came strolling back with their coffee in moments, and smiled a little when she caught Tori’s expression. “What?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Tori replied, accepting the warm mug and taking a sip as Jade sat back down carefully with her nearly full mug. “Just enjoying you.”

“Uh huh,” Jade drawled as she settled into place, drinking from her own cup without looking away from Tori. “Didn’t look like you were thinking anything scandalous at all.”

“Scandalous?” Tori placed her hand on her chest in mock astonishment, “Me?”

Jade laughed and leaned over to kiss her, holding her coffee cup off to the side. Which was probably good, because of the way their kisses grew quickly fierce. Tori felt heat filling her chest from within, a different kind of intensity than the sunlight that warmed her skin, a flush of powerful need rushing through her blood as Jade’s tongue met hers, as Jade grunted softly in the back of her throat.

Tori broke the kiss, but only to lean over as far as she could to put her coffee mug down on the flattest part of the lawn that she could find in about two and a half seconds before turning back to Jade, shifting onto her knees to move right in front of her. “Maybe you want to put that down,” she nodded at Jade’s coffee cup.

“But then it’ll get cold.” Jade was staring up at her, eyes seeming to reflect the sky in the sunlight, smoldering with affection and humor.

“Well, if you wait, so might I,” Tori maintained eye contact as she reached to take Jade’s mug from her hand, where she still held it off to the side in case it spilled. Tori broke eye contact only to lean away to find a suitable spot on the lawn to place Jade’s mug, and then she was crawling onto Jade’s lap on the blanket in the yard, kissing her fervently, feeling Jade’s hands moving all over her back, grabbing her ass, tangling in her hair.

“Guess that fantasy got you all excited,” Jade husked in her ear as Tori kissed her neck, “Are you thinking about how I’m going to come into the house and--” her voice dropped low, the voice she used to imitate men, “Hey, baby, you’re looking so good, I need to put it in you.”

Tori leaned away from Jade, laughing in shock and horror, “Oh my _god_ , you are the _worst_.” She shifted her weight to bear Jade down onto her back on the blanket and they laughed and kissed each other as their legs tangled, Tori settling her weight against one elbow, brushing the hair off of Jade’s face with her other hand. “Okay, you _know_ that wasn’t sexy, right?” she asked.

Jade grinned up at her, “That’s subjective,” she argued, “But I know what you’d like to hear,” she murmured in a low voice.

“Oh, really?” Tori challenged, lifting her eyebrow as she gazed down at Jade.

“Yeah, I think you’d rather hear something like…” and Jade’s voice dipped, but not exaggeratedly, just enough to make her sound sultry, “You’re so goddamn _gorgeous_ , I can’t stand not touching you. I need to feel you, I need to make you come.”

Well. That was an improvement, and Tori felt her ears warm up a bit. “Better,” she murmured, “Sounds like you’re the kind of top who likes to _service_ ,” she teased.

Jade shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s your fantasy. Am I even supposed to get off?”

“Uh, I hope so. I mean, I’d want you to. If you could. But, you’re in charge, so...I guess it’s up to you.”

Jade nodded, digesting that. “I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you,” she whispered in that alluring tone, hands moving over Tori’s body, as if demonstrating.

“And I’m going to be so ready for you,” Tori promised, leaning down to connect their lips again.

They kept kissing, feeling the way everything began to escalate, the way Jade’s hands grasped at Tori’s ass, the way her knee lifted between Tori’s legs. Tori took only a moment to consider whether this was a good idea to do in the yard. But then, it wouldn’t be the first time, and this was already a lot more fun. That was impetus enough to shift her hips to begin grinding down hard against Jade’s thigh, feeling the satisfied exhale on her lips from her partner, the way her hand held her hip encouragingly. Tori let her hand find Jade’s breast, considering how she could slide her hand down Jade’s body to slip into her shorts, moving her fingers over her as she ground down against her thigh, and she felt Jade’s sharp inhale as Tori’s fingers trailed down to tease at her waistband.

“Ohh, wow, okay,” came a familiar shocked voice from nearby. Tori’s head snapped up and she rolled clumsily off of Jade onto the blanket, ears burning, mouth flopping as she tried to form words.

Jade groaned, “Oh my god,” she murmured, sitting up carefully, cheeks noticeably flushed.

Cat and Carly were standing at the gate between their yards, Cat wide-eyed and grinning, Carly’s face averted politely as Tori and Jade struggled to seem like they weren’t just about to have sex in the yard.

“Uh, hi,” Tori finally offered.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Cat replied, though she didn’t sound genuine at all.

“Interrupt what?” came a voice behind her. Sam appeared next to her a moment later.

“Oh, you missed it, Tori and Jade were on the blanket and--”

“We interrupted,” Carly interrupted Cat, presumably to keep her from describing exactly what was happening to Sam, who looked disappointed. “Sorry about that,” she grinned, and she sounded actually contrite.

“It’s...it’s fine,” Tori managed. “Who wants coffee? I should brew some more.”

“I’ll come help you,” Cat offered, peeling away from Sam and Carly to follow her inside.

After Tori measured out and ground her coffee beans and was waiting for her water to boil, she remembered Cat had seemed interested in the process for making coffee last time she’d slept over, after the dinner where they’d all had too much weed (except for Cat). “Do you want me to show you how I make it?” she asked Cat.

Cat shook her head, “No, I’ll just watch you again, it seems relaxing.” But then her expression seemed sly, “Should we start knocking on the gate? Since getting frisky in the yard seems to be something you and Jade like to do…”

“It’s _really_ not,” Tori groaned.

“ _Sure_ ,” Cat winked exaggeratedly. “It’s not like you and Jade haven’t done this at least twice.”

“Two _very_ different circumstances,” Tori sighed. “I think we just kind of threw caution to the wind. Because...yeah. But we do want you to feel free to drop by.” She began to methodically pour the water over her beans. “Why did you drop by? Not that we’re not glad to see you all.” She glanced out the patio door, where Jade was sitting at the picnic table, across from Sam and Carly, who were seated right up next to each other, Sam gazing at her adoringly while Carly spoke to Jade.

“Oh, well, we actually came by because Carly was thinking that we should maybe start a garden, and we wanted to know if you guys would be interested in any of that. If we all pitch in to maintain it, then we can all harvest herbs and vegetables, as needed.”

Tori smiled, “That sounds really cool, actually. Even before we got the jacuzzi, my yard never really had room for me to plant anything beyond the flowers around front.” And even those were more often than not handled by her gardeners, and not something she maintained herself. Maybe it would feel nice to get her hands dirty sometimes.

“I’m really excited about it, too!” Cat said cheerfully. “I miss our apartment sometimes, just because we lived there for so long. We made a lot of memories there.” Cat was wistfully quiet for a moment, and Tori remembered some of the times she’d spent there--parties when she was in college, weekends she and Jade would drop by and then head out to the beach or to the mall. And when she came back to Los Angeles after everything fell apart in Canada, how she started to slowly spend more time with Sam and Cat, especially after her arrangement with Patrice ended, and how they’d been so accepting of her new career path, how Cat had immediately offered to make her outfits, how she’d finally pushed past some teenage awkwardness and got to know Sam better, especially as Sam teased her about being a dominatrix and seemed thrilled when Tori would practice her dominant glare on her.

Yeah, Sam and Cat’s old apartment had been a constant in all of their lives for a while, a place that seemed like it would always be open to them, with its eclectic and charming decorations and housing one of the most stable couples Tori knew. Who now owned a house with a third partner.

“But I’m really loving this new house,” Cat continued after her moment passed. “And I’m really glad Carly’s here. It’s easier to make Sam listen when there’s two of us,” she said with a smirk.

“I can’t wait to come over for a tour when it’s all ready,” Tori replied.

“I can’t wait either!” Cat enthused.

Soon, Tori and Cat were bringing the Chemex and more mugs outside to the picnic table. Tori poured a mug for Carly while Cat passed one to Sam, hand passing over Sam’s to offer a light, affection squeeze, which Sam returned, meeting Cat’s eye with a broad grin. Cat settled onto the other side of the picnic table next to Jade, immediately falling into conversation about some of the footage from the Bra Candy Fashion Show, as Tori took a seat on Jade’s other side. She could see Sam sitting with one arm wrapped around Carly’s waist, accepting a brief, affectionate kiss from her girlfriend to the side of her head, while she watched Cat speak animatedly with Jade, looking utterly content in the moment. Sam noticed Tori watching her after a moment and merely offered her a shrug, smiling like the cat that ate the canary, as if she couldn’t quite believe, either, that she had everything she wanted right here with her.

But really, Tori understood her. She couldn’t know all the details of what had happened with Carly and Sam, but she surmised that maybe, like herself and Jade, it was something that had been brewing since they were teenagers that had finally fallen into place now. She ran her fingers over Jade’s nautical star tattoo, the way she used to, until Jade interlaced their fingers under the table.

But the welcome presence of their neighbors led Tori to reflect that _actually_ getting interrupted was way less sexy than the fantasy she and Jade were entertaining earlier. Maybe it was good knowledge to have, though. Maybe they could skip that part of the fantasy and just close the curtains.

-

It was early afternoon on Sunday, nearing lunch time, and Jade was outside in the yard, wearing black jeans, a sleeveless t-shirt, and her red boots. It seemed like the right look for the semi-masculine swagger Tori wanted from her, and if the way Tori looked at her before shooing her out into the yard was any indication, it was definitely an effective choice.

The first thing Jade did was go to the sculpture Sam had mounted onto the top of the wall between their properties, just next to the gate. It was shaped like a weathervane, though it was heavy enough that it would take more than a typical gust of wind to move it. Maybe the Santa Anas could, next time they came rolling through. Jade thought she might almost welcome them.

Sam had created the sculpture remarkably quickly. Apparently, the garage of their new house was meant to be, as Sam called it, a “Sam Cave,” a space for her to be as messy and chaotic as she wanted. And also to make art. So she’d crafted the piece and put it up the day after Tori and Jade had been interrupted in the yard, without telling any of them, and that Friday evening, when Jade finally saw Sam, the first thing she asked was “What the hell is that?”

“Oh, it’s a signaling sculpture,” Sam replied, as if it were obvious.

“And what the hell is a _signaling sculpture_?”

“Easy, we use it to signal for when it’s not a good idea to come through the gate. So you guys can have sex in the yard and we won’t interrupt.”

“We’re not planning to have sex in the yard,” Jade groaned.

“Well, maybe you’re not the only ones who don’t want to be interrupted,” Sam raised her eyebrows, “Look, I figured if it’s head on, like pointing north or south, then that means all clear. You guys can point it to the west if it’s not cool to come over, and we’ll point it to the east.”

“You basically made a sock on the door signal for the gate between our properties?” Jade asked skeptically.

Sam frowned, “Guess it could’ve been that simple.”

“No, I kind of like this,” Jade assured her. She especially liked the idea of being able to point the weathervane to the west if they needed privacy. Just like Tori’s compass tattoo, the one that had always pointed west and always would.

Today, out in the yard, Jade picked up the broom handle that leaned against the wall for this very purpose and, very deliberately, pushed the weathervane to the west. She felt a little thrill as she did it, and she hoped that the signal would read loud and clear to their friends.

And then, all Jade could really do was pace.

Despite the fact that it was the middle of winter, the afternoon sun was warm, as it usually was. Not quite hot, and without a lawn mower to push around, Jade didn’t expect to work up much of a sweat just walking around the yard. But Tori had been very clear that she would need a certain amount of time to be ready for Jade to come back in. Not only to get dressed, because she’d still been in her lazy morning clothes when Jade pulled on her outfit, but also to get a late lunch in the oven. So Jade would definitely have to figure out a way to kill some time while also making sure she was still excited to fuck Tori at any moment.

Jade ducked inside the guest house to slather on some sunscreen, since she would probably be in the sun for a little while, then went back outside to walk around. She checked on Hamster’s cat house--it looked like the little guy might actually be spending some time in there, given that there was cat hair on the heating pad inside of it. Or, at least, she hoped it was cat hair. She checked on the jacuzzi, wiping it down the outside and the inside at the water line with a sponge, checking the pH level. It was probably about time for a deep cleaning, and she added that to her mental calendar. She poked around in the shed for a little bit, though there really wasn’t anything in there that she hadn’t seen before.

At some point as Jade killed time, she noticed Tori watching her out of the kitchen window. Jade smirked at her, but then tried to turn her attention to something else, even if it was just her boots on the grass as she walked. Tori, of course, was going to be watching her, like she often did when Jade did yardwork. So, Jade tried to make sure there was something to watch, attempting to stay in sight even as she circled the shed and the guest house, checking the exterior of both for any signs of damage. But the knowledge that she had Tori’s attention, at least a lot of the time, excited her, just as it used to when she realized Tori leered at her when she mowed the lawn, back when they were fooling themselves by trying to be just friends. There was just something powerful and sexy about the idea of Tori not being able to keep her eyes off of her.

Maybe it was just the constant motion while in the sun, but eventually Jade began to feel like she was sweating, just a little. Not even really enough to annoy her, just enough to notice if she actually thought about it. Well, Tori would probably be delighted. Jade glanced over at the window, and Tori lifted her hand, catching her attention, and when Jade looked back, Tori nodded.

Jade took off her sunglasses, raising her eyebrows at Tori, verifying that it was time. She got an enthusiastic nod in response, and Jade felt eagerness flood through her at the confirmation that they were about to have sex. She hurried into the guest house, dropping her sunglasses on the repurposed spanking bench, and, cursing her decision to wear her boots, sat down to unlace them, then pulled off her jeans, then pulled on her strap-on harness. Her preferred strap-on, with the insertable end for her, had already been washed, and was ready for her to wear. She applied a bit of lube to her end, just to make insertion a little easier, and groaned softly as it slid into place.

Now, the real reason she’d turned the weathervane, other than not wanting Cat to come knocking on the patio door while they were fucking: Jade would be crossing the yard, wearing the strap-on. But honestly, even with the precaution in place, it felt ridiculous to just openly walk through the patio with her strap-on out in full view. So Jade pulled her jeans back up, tucking the strap-on up and to the side; it tugged a bit awkwardly at the internal attachment, but nothing hurt. Then she relaced her boots, and prepared to cross the patio not with a dildo fully on display, but tucked as an awkward bulge in her jeans. Yeah, _that_ was better, and not at all ridiculous. She could just hear Tori ruining the mood with some kind of “is that a pair of scissors in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” joke.

Whatever. Jade made her decision, and she walked as confidently as she could back into the house.

And there was Tori, standing at the stove, in a cute, short cocktail dress, an apron, and a pair of kitten heels. Her makeup was done, her hair was pinned back from her face, giving her an elegant and classic look.

Jade just stared, trying to decide what she was even supposed to say. Tori looked _great_ , it should be easy to just say so, especially with her standing there, smiling expectantly, eyes raking over Jade’s body as she lingered there, underdressed in her jeans and boots and t-shirt.

But then, maybe she didn’t need to say anything, because her only impulse was to act, and she closed the distance between them to pull Tori in for a kiss.

Instantly, Tori grabbed onto her, hands on her back, nails digging into her slightly as Tori kissed her. Jade let her hands slide down past Tori’s hips to grasp her ass firmly, remembering what Tori had said about being ready for her. This probably wouldn’t take much, and the way Tori groaned against her lips as she grabbed her ass told Jade the anticipation alone (and, of course, probably the kitchen window voyeurism) had done a lot of the work of winding Tori up.

When they pulled back from the kisses long moments later, Jade whispered against Tori’s lips, “You look so beautiful.”

“And you look sexy as hell,” Tori purred against her neck, pressing delicate kisses down her throat. Jade’s eyes fluttered shut and she grinned at the contact, and she felt one of Tori’s hands circle her body to settle on her breast, making her smile wider.

“You want me?” Jade asked, her voice already husky with desire, body acutely aware of the way the strap-on was contained in her jeans, the constant pressure of it inside of her. “You ready for me?” She tugged Tori along with her, peppering her face with kisses as she guided her over so that they were next to the kitchen island.

“So ready,” Tori whispered.

“Good,” Jade grunted, hands shifting to Tori’s hips, and she turned her, bodily, so she was facing the kitchen island, and Jade shoved between her shoulder blades, guiding Tori to settle face down across the countertop, bent at the waist, Jade behind her.

She could see and feel the way Tori’s breath left her as Jade pushed her down, then how she took a deep, anticipatory breath, palms pressing firmly against the counter just above her head as if she needed a tactile reminder to stay where she was. Jade considered whether she needed to order Tori to be still, but caught herself, recognizing that while an order like that would certainly be a turn on for her, she didn’t think that was the kind of submissive experience Tori was looking to enjoy. No, Tori wasn’t looking to feel _used_ by Jade. She was looking to feel like Jade couldn’t think about anything else but her.

Well, that wasn’t much of a stretch for Jade to play out. She leaned over and pressed a kiss between Tori’s shoulder blades. “I’m going to make you feel so fucking good,” she vowed, wincing as she realized that she _really_ needed to find a better way to express herself in this situation, recognizing that this kind of dirty talk wasn’t exactly her strong suit, but nonetheless, her words made Tori squirm. But also, she felt the way bending over made the strap-on flex and move awkwardly inside of her. Okay, time to get that out of her pants. She straightened, letting her hands run down Tori’s back slowly, skirting off to the sides to smooth along her waist and hips, slipping down past the hem of her dress to grasp at her bare thighs.

Tori’s back arched subtly as she pushed herself back toward Jade eagerly, and Jade let her hands linger on Tori’s thighs, fingers trailing up, seeking the waistband of her panties. She didn’t feel them, so instead she grabbed the fabric of the dress itself and flipped and pushed the skirt of it up and over Tori’s waist.

Her breath caught as she took in Tori’s bare ass. She hadn’t realized that Tori was going to be playing such a slutty housewife. She wondered if she should say that. Would Tori find it hot? Maybe she should just keep it simple. “Damn,” she breathed, hands moving over Tori’s firm, round ass. “You really are ready for me.”

As if in answer, Tori shifted, spreading her legs a little wider, and Jade glanced up to realize Tori was looking over her shoulder with a leer. Their eyes met, and Jade very deliberately maintained eye contact as she unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, the sound audible over the ambiance of eager breaths and her heart beating hard in her chest. She could see the way Tori’s expression changed at the sound, eyes widening, mouth parting, the way she took in a deep breath, and Jade let out her own breath in relief as the strap-on was given space to fall forward at its natural angle, resolving the pressure and tension inside of her. She shoved her jeans a little further down her hips, giving her more space to work. Fucking with all of their clothes on was certainly different, she reflected as her hands returned to Tori’s bare flesh beneath her dress. Well, _almost_ all their clothes on.

Tori’s eyelids fluttered shut as Jade’s touch returned to her skin, but then she opened them again, and Jade watched her, almost breathless with anticipation, as she slid two fingers between Tori’s legs, stroking along her hot flesh, hearing her gasp with want at Jade’s touch. Jade let one finger move over her clit, just for a moment, hearing the way Tori exhaled at the contact, watching the way she tried to press her hips closer to Jade, a needy motion, and Jade let her finger slip away and then press slowly, smoothly, inside of Tori.

“Fuck,” Tori cursed, which, Jade had really been about to utter the same thing, considering how wet Tori was. “I want you so badly,” Tori almost whimpered with longing.

Jade had been taking her time, a little bit, despite Tori’s assurances that she was ready. Part of that was Jade setting the mood for herself, though touching Tori had been meant as foreplay before she introduced more vigorous penetration. But she figured she’d made Tori wait long enough, and she fumbled at the pocket of her jeans to draw out the tiny bottle of lube she’d used to put on the strap-on in the guest house, and coated the toy with one hand, other hand gripping Tori’s hip. “I want _you_ ,” Jade murmured, “And I can’t wait any longer.” She shifted forward, pressing the tip of the toy _right there_ , just barely pressing into Tori.

“Yes,” Tori hissed, and Jade could see the way she was futilely trying to push back against her, and instead began to push in on her own, thrilled at the way she slipped in so easily, at the low sound in Tori’s throat as she began to sink inside. It was difficult to move slowly, in spite of the fact that she wanted to, and Jade found herself fully sheathed inside Tori in moments, both hands on her hips now, letting the significance of everything wash over them both. Tori reached back, fingers grasping at Jade’s hip, and Jade took it as a cue to start moving.

Which she did, gradually at first, watching the motion of the toy between their bodies, gauging the preferred length and pace of her thrusts, listening to the sounds Tori made, relishing the sensation of the tug of the toy inside her own body. Maybe there was something about their positions, but Jade thought the toy felt even more intense for her than it did when she was on top of Tori, and thrusting like this was certainly easier. Tori certainly seemed to be enjoying everything, though she wondered if her limited ability to move might become an issue, or the way her hips were pressed up against the edge of the countertop.

For now, Jade focused on finding what seemed to feel best for Tori, who was bent over and only able to take what Jade wanted to give her. Jade remembered Tori’s assurance that this was all in Jade’s hands, and she considered whether she wanted to get rougher. She thought it might feel pretty damn good on her end.

“You look so sexy like this,” Jade told Tori, hands moving from her hips to run over her body, “I’m so goddamn lucky that I get to fuck you like I want to.” Jade played a little bit in the moment with a touch of dominance, grinning at the way it made Tori moan. She knew she was _incredibly_ lucky, to have her kind of famous dominatrix of a fiancée facedown on a countertop getting fucked from behind. It was a vulnerability that was rare for Tori, giving up the power she was so comfortable with, so accustomed to, even in this low-stakes way. Jade treasured it, and everything it meant about the love and trust they shared.

“God, the way you make me feel…” Tori got out before just dropping the rest of the sentence, maybe unable to complete the thought. Jade got enough of a picture, however.

“I can make you feel more,” Jade murmured, seeking confirmation, affirmation, that she could get a little rougher. Despite Tori’s assurances when they’d talked this through, Jade still wanted to make sure it would be welcome in the moment.

Tori moaned softly, “Yes, I _need_ more of you.” It was so much tamer than anything that passed between them when Tori expressed her own dominance, but maybe that was okay. They were trying something new, both aware that what turned one of them on about power was different for the other. It was like stretching and flexing a new muscle, in a way that felt a little counterintuitive, but then also felt really _good_ when they realized they were getting it right as they explored this together.

Jade took the invitation and began to move faster, harder, letting herself fall into the headspace of chasing her own pleasure while still remaining aware of Tori’s, eyes raking over her to take in the slope of her back, curved in pleasure, ears perked for the sounds of the deep groans pouring from her lips, the encouraging syllables she uttered. She was able to tap into the fact that she was _really_ enjoying this, the physical exertion appealing, like the exercising she was doing with Tori whenever she could--rewarding movement. Body alive, grateful for the ability to move, to provide pleasure. And to have Tori there, reacting as though every touch, even thrust from Jade was bliss, _well_...Jade felt incredible and powerful. Getting to fuck Tori like this was a gift, and Jade intended to treat it reverently.

But reverence didn’t have to mean solemnity, and sure as hell didn’t have to be boring. Not when their connection was being spurred by the acceleration of Jade’s motions, the audible sounds of the impact of their bodies, with Jade realizing that in spite of what this might look like to an outsider, this was _lovemaking_ , and in the power that flowed between them as they tried on new roles, there was trust, and respect, and adoration, and Jade felt like she was brimming with erotic exultation, her skin tingling all over, warmth coalescing low in her body.

Jade continued thrusting with a ferocity that surprised even herself, spurred on by her eagerness to please Tori, and she leaned over and rasped, “You’re so fucking hot, you’re gonna make me come.”

-

Tori was reveling in the freedom she felt, of placing herself and the encounter into Jade’s hands, of letting Jade execute it how she saw fit. She experienced it less as submission (though, of course, that was part of it) and more simply the opportunity to enjoy being the center of Jade’s focus, the subject of her ardor. Naturally, she knew that for some people an experience like this was the _entire point_ of their submission, and Tori was letting those sensations and emotions wash over her when it felt appropriate, but mostly she glowed from feeling like there was an irresistible pull between herself and Jade, like she was a treasure worth coveting, like she was an erotic siren, powerful and alluring, overtly feminine and embodying an insatiable sexuality.

Okay, yes, Tori was certainly enjoying some submission in the way they were playing off of each other, mostly the moments when she could tell Jade was putting in the effort to add a hint of dominance to the way they interacted. Because, honestly, it was sort of _hot_ when Jade got a little dominant, and reminded Tori of when they were younger, and Jade’s greater experience level had made them sometimes default to putting her in charge of sexual situations.

But in addition to her headspace and the swirl of power and submission and femininity and lust encompassed in it, what was happening between them _physically_ was working very well for Tori. Jade’s movements, which started out gentle, cautious, even a little awkward, were now impassioned and unrestrained, and Tori felt like every stroke of Jade’s hand, every thrust of her hips, were an expression of deep adoration, and all she could do was accept it.

And then there was Jade, husking in her ear, “You’re so fucking hot, you’re gonna make me come.”

Tori _felt_ the words, the impact of them making her clench and moan out loud. Initially, she had planned to have some sort of edict about needing to hurry up so they could eat meatloaf, but she decided against it in the moment. As it had played out, the dynamics of the fantasy ended up being a little less about the gender roles they embodied and more about the pull of desire between them. Besides, Jade probably wouldn’t respond well to that kind of pressure, and the idea that Jade was going to come from this made all the delicious ideas that had swirled through her mind throughout this encounter churn faster, and Tori felt like she was soaking in all of Jade’s sexual attention as it carried her toward her own orgasm. “God, yes, I want you to come for me,” Tori groaned.

As she said it, she wondered if it was the right response, but telling Jade _not_ to come like she normally would wouldn’t exactly fit their current roles. With the way Jade panted with eager exertion, her pace accelerating, her grip tightening on Tori’s hips, Tori knew all she could really do was encourage her, which she did, with barely coherent moans, eyes squeezed shut as she focused on Jade.

But then Jade’s pace staggered as her hand squeezed between Tori’s hip and the counter, groping, searching, until her fingertips found Tori’s clit. Tori almost yelped with how sensitive she felt, “Careful,” she moaned, though that was less about Jade’s attention to her clit and more about the forearm digging into her hip.

“Come here,” Jade grunted, tugging at her hips, putting more space between Tori and the edge of the counter, and then Jade was back to her relentless driving thrusts, picking right back up, only now with Jade’s fingers moving over her, Tori had to actively hold herself back, her instinct, as usual, to wait for Jade to come first.

But it was as if everything flowed through her at once, the sensations, the joy of their play, the way Jade’s attention made her feel so _cared_ for, so safe, and her vulnerability made her feel both sensual and raw, fulfilled and exposed, a swirl of unfamiliar emotions that only Jade could really bring out of her, and the impact of everything hit her like the force of Jade’s hips meeting hers, unrelenting and vigorous, and Tori felt her whole body jolt with the beginning of her orgasm.

She couldn’t help but be swept away in it, though her moan turned into a whine of frustration as she realized she’d come first, and she bucked and shuddered through her climax, hearing Jade in her ear whispering, “Yeah, come for me,” in a highly satisfied tone.

As Tori began to come down, gulping huge gasps of air, Jade moved her hand from between Tori’s legs and began to slow her movements. But Tori reached behind her and grabbed Jade’s hip again. “No,” she said, very firmly, “Don’t you dare stop. I need you to come.”

And that easily, the tables turned, without Tori even thinking about it. She felt the way Jade shivered in response to her words, felt her hands shift to grip Tori’s hips hard, felt her pick back up her pace. “Don’t worry,” Jade growled, every bit of her radiating control, reminding Tori that she was in charge even as she obeyed her, “You’re gonna feel me come.”

Tori closed her eyes, knowing she _wanted_ Jade to come from this, but also aware of how everything felt sensitive after her recent orgasm. Nothing was painful, though, so she let Jade continue to move inside her in quick thrusts, hearing the tinge of a moan in her exhales, feeling the way her fingers tightened on Tori’s flesh. She wanted to offer encouragement, because after the way her body had convulsed with her orgasm, Tori was much more aware of the minor discomforts of the position she was in, bent over the counter, pelvis digging into the edge, back feeling like she needed to stretch. So Tori concentrated on the sensation of Jade inside her, moaning responsively, and then, surprising even herself, she whimpered, “You’re gonna make me come _again_.”

She hadn’t meant it to be true, and was gratified to hear the telltale groan from Jade and feel her hips push erratically before she came loudly, draping herself over Tori and crying out in her ear as continued her jerky movements. And Tori’s triumph, combined with the knowledge and very tactile evidence of Jade’s orgasm, spurred Tori into a reactionary one of her own, less explosive than her previous climax, but enough to send shockwaves of pleasure through her that had her reaching behind her, seeking more contact with Jade once again.

Moments later, Jade’s arms were wrapped around her, slipping between Tori’s body and the counter. Tori stirred beneath her, wanting to stand back up, but also not quite ready to lose the sensation of Jade inside of her, Jade’s warmth against her body. But it was inevitable, as Jade straightened back up, and carefully pulled out, and Tori felt her breath go with it. Then she, too, was straightening, feeling her dress falling back down into place, and she turned, steadying herself against the counter as her legs sought balance, turning to see Jade looking flushed and satiated, eyes the soft blue of ocean surf, looking slightly sweaty, and slightly comical, standing in her boots with her pants halfway down her thighs, strap-on gleaming wetly under the kitchen lights.

Tori felt her face split into a grin. Jade’s brow furrowed slightly, but she still looked pleased and proud. “What?” she asked.

“I just love you,” Tori began giggling. She couldn’t explain why. It was like in the wake of all the intensity of their encounter ebbing away, she was left with a strange sense of giddiness, and the intense urge to be close to Jade. She flung herself at Jade, pressing herself against her side, mindful of the strap-on, feeling Jade’s arms wrap around her and her face settle in the crook of Tori’s neck. They were closer to the same height than usual; Tori had noted Jade’s boots and chose the heels she was wearing to try to make sure their heights would work best for the sex they were aiming to have. It made them fit together differently now, and on top of embracing Jade from the side, it made Tori feel like she couldn’t get close enough.

Jade seemed to understand, and squeezed her as tightly as she could. “I love you so much,” Jade murmured, “And you were amazing.”

“So were you,” Tori was laughing again, though it was less giddy and more softhearted. She realized what was happening in a moment, that she was on the other side of aftercare, that the emotional fluctuations felt different after a more submissive experience, even as low-stakes as that one had been. Aftercare as a top, especially professionally, focused a lot on the submissive, but the knowledge of their appreciation was still a balm for Tori, an expression of acceptance for her sadism and dominance that helped her wind down from scenes, too. There was a strong desire for acceptance here, too, and Jade’s assurances, even if they were echoes of the kinds of things Tori said to her, meant a lot to Tori. It felt really good to know that Jade had enjoyed this flipping of their usual script, that Tori was _still_ sexy and satisfying to be with even when she wasn’t being a top. That trusting Jade to explore this with her had benefited them both.

But maybe Jade, as the recipient of submissive aftercare herself, knew something Tori didn’t, because she wasn’t letting Tori go. And she repeated, “No, really, you were _amazing_.”

Tori inhaled shakily against Jade’s neck. She wasn’t crying, but she also felt a little chaotic emotionally, even as her entire body warmed with Jade’s praise. She continued breathing, letting it all wash over her, letting the most intense pieces of the experience replay in her head for a moment, grounding herself with Jade’s warmth and affection and love until finally she felt steady enough to whisper, “Thank you,” and follow it with a kiss to Jade’s neck.

This time, when Tori moved to pull away, Jade let her, though her hands lingered at Tori’s waist. “You good?” Jade asked, searching her face.

“I’m great,” Tori replied honestly.

“Good,” Jade smiled softly, “Because I _really_ want to take this strap-on off.”

Tori laughed, glancing down at it. “Yeah, go do that. I need to check on the meatloaf.”

“Oh my god,” Jade stared, “I hadn’t even paid _attention_ to the fact that you were cooking. What if we’d fucked for so long the meatloaf burned?”

“I had it under control,” Tori assured, and smirked over her shoulder at Jade as she stepped back in front of the stove, catching the way Jade’s eyes lingered on her. “Oh,” she called as Jade headed back toward the bedroom, “Can you maybe bring me a pair of underwear?”

“One pair of _regular-sized_ underwear, coming right up,” Jade shot over her shoulder, returning a smirk of her own.

-

When they sat down at the table for their late lunch, redressed, underwear on, Jade immediately sprang back up. “Be right back.”

“Where are you going?” Tori asked, sounding amused. Jade didn’t reply as she hurried out the back door. Jade had taken off her boots to undress and hadn’t bothered to put them back on, so she hesitated on the patio in her bare feet, but ultimately sprang across the grass to grab the broomstick so she could shift the signaling sculpture back to the _All Clear_ position, pointing due north.

Once back inside, she settled back into her seat at the dining room table. “Had to put the sculpture back in place,” she explained, picking up her fork, “So that I wouldn’t forget and our friends wouldn’t think we were fucking in the yard for five hours straight.”

“I don’t see a problem with letting them think that,” Tori laughed. “Though, now we can probably expect a visit if Sam gets a whiff of this meatloaf.”

Jade grinned, “Just _how_ are you planning to explain _that_ getup if they do drop by?” she gestured with her fork at Tori’s outfit.

Tori shot her a playful look as she finished chewing before replying, “I don’t think just dressing nicely requires an explanation. I wanted to look cute.”

Jade snorted, “ _Yeah_ , but…”

“If you don’t _say_ anything,” Tori said firmly, “They don’t have to know it involved anything sexual.”

“I’m pretty sure they can figure it out, Tori,” Jade insisted, but she felt her face relax into a lazy grin at the memory of just _what_ had occurred beneath that dress. “That was really hot, though,” she confessed.

Tori shot her a heated look in response, “So it worked for you?” she asked Jade.

“Oh, definitely,” Jade nodded. She realized, after a moment, that maybe she should return the question to Tori. “How was it for you?”

“ _Really_ good,” Tori replied. “You...know I’m not so used to taking on a more submissive role. And we kept everything pretty simple, and that was a good idea, I think. Because it went really well.”

The way Tori phrased it clued her in to the fact that they were essentially dissecting the encounter, the way Tori had after they’d explored bondage and spanking for the first time. Jade thought she understood. It had been new to Tori, in some ways. Or at least uncommon. She decided to ask one of the questions she had been asked. “Did anything about it not work for you?”

Tori looked thoughtful as she chewed another bite of her meatloaf before replying. “Well, as much as this fantasy was based on stereotypical gender roles, I’m not sure they really added much to the experience.”

“Other than the outfits, maybe?” Jade suggested, “Finding out you were a sexy housewife who wasn’t wearing underwear kinda did it for me.” She remembered what she’d thought about that very discovery and revealed, “I had to stop myself from calling you a _slutty housewife_ because I wasn’t sure if it was something you’d want to hear.”

Tori grinned, “That...probably would have been hot, actually. Because I’d also know that you would enjoy _saying_ it.” Jade smirked at this, because Tori was right about that. “I guess I just mean that, for me, I might not need the whole scenario to play out, with you in the yard, and me cooking. It could be simpler.”

“So, what,” Jade said slowly, pausing to take a sip of water, “You just tell me when you want me to bend you over and fuck you in another room in the house other than the bedroom?”

“Something like that,” Tori shrugged, “Actually, I was thinking about Sam and Cat, with their version of pet play. The collar is a signal to them, a nonverbal cue, more than anything. Maybe me dressing up like this, since it’s something you like, can be a signal that this kind of experience is something I want.”

“Ah,” Jade nodded, “then you won’t have to actually _say_ you’re feeling submissive,” she smirked.

Tori exhaled through her nose audibly, half a laugh, half a huff of frustration. “I don’t--I mean.” She took a breath. “ _Yes_ , but not for the reason you think. By not _saying_ something, I’m trying to leave space for you to take charge.” She met Jade’s eyes. “My relationship to something like submission is _very_ different from yours. It’s less about fulfilling deep, personal desires and more about...novelty, I guess. Assurance of your affection and attraction to me. Feeling sexy in a different way.”

“I get that,” Jade replied quietly. She reflected on the experience from her end, the fact that it had been definitely _pleasurable_ , and fun, and something she wanted to do again, but not something she longed for, deep in her bones. “I think,” she said slowly, “It might be similar for me. With topping. I don’t think I want to bottom _all_ the time. But I also don’t know if I can top in a way that’s much more intense than what we did today. If today even really _counted_.”

“I think it did,” Tori assured her. “It was mild, but we were playing with dominant and submissive elements. We set the scene with them, they characterized our interactions, even if they weren’t quite _roles_.”

“Then,” Jade said, “we can do this again?”

“Keep an eye out for this kind of outfit,” Tori winked. “And then choose where you want to fuck me, and give it to me. You can call me slutty, just remember it’s mainly about feeling irresistible. And we can both explore if anything else we want to try comes up while we’re playing.” She grinned at Jade, “It’s just nice to have sex where I don’t feel like I have to be _on_ the whole time, if that makes sense. And I’m so grateful to be able to share that with you. I’ve never been able to have that before.”

Jade smiled, feeling smug and gratified, but then she thought about Tori’s connection with Patrice, and the fact that she knew Tori used to bottom for her. She wasn’t about to call Tori a liar, but she gently challenged her, anyway. “Not even with Patrice?”

Tori looked a little surprised, but she shook her head without a moment’s hesitation. “No. It was different with Patrice.” She took a bite, expression pensive, as she gathered her thoughts. “With her, at first, I was trying to find myself when it came to bottoming. I was expecting to find that sense of...self-actualization, I guess, and I didn’t find it. And once I realized I was probably better suited to topping, then bottoming with Patrice became more of a methodical exploration of sensation and perception. It was about learning to top, from the bottom. It was never a blissful succumbing to being cherished by someone else, like it is with you.”

 _Well_. Jade hadn’t been specifically seeking reassurance when she’d asked about Patrice, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love hearing it. She shifted in her seat, feeling the warmth of pride and praise wash over her. “I think I can happily provide that for you, whenever you need it.”

“Trust me, you’ll know when I need it,” Tori purred at her, hand smoothing over her dress significantly.

-

“Okay...what about the Museum of Large Bones?”

“I’m pretty sure they don’t have a banquet room and aren’t about to let us get married next to the giant femur. But you can check if you want to.”

“I don’t know,” Tori sighed, “I guess it’s not really a great location.”

Jade just shrugged, huffing slightly in exasperation. Tori tried not to take it personally, because she was feeling a lot of similar frustration. They’d had a few conversations over the past few weeks, beginning to try to plan their wedding. They’d agreed they didn’t want to wait long, and wanted to be sure it happened this year, but they were stuck on a location. So many of the venues in Los Angeles were so _expensive_ , and even with the money from Grandma Jean, they wanted to be frugal. Also, a lot of places were already booked, too, because most people started planning weddings at least a year in advance.

Tori honestly sometimes considered suggesting just filing the paperwork without a ceremony, since they just wanted to be married, already, but the truth was, she _did_ want to have a wedding, and she was pretty sure Jade did, too. She’d idly dreamed of marrying a prince when she was young (heteronormative fantasies based on expectation instead of real desire), but otherwise, she’d never had any serious wedding fantasies. Probably because although she wasn’t even aware yet that she was gay, there was the distinct sense that weddings, as the culture usually defined them, were very separate from anything she felt like she wanted, even if she couldn’t yet articulate why. Still, that didn’t mean she didn’t want one now.

Maybe it had been different for Jade, being that she was bisexual. Maybe Tori should ask about it at a time when they weren’t in the midst of the irritating process of even laying the groundwork for this. Which, oh, Jade was asking something. “Did you hear back yet from the Burbank Harriott?” It had been kind of a long-shot, but as they both wanted a location that meant _something_ to them in the city they’d spent most of their lives, the hotel where they’d reconnected after years apart had been amenable.

“Yeah,” Tori replied tiredly, “They’re booked pretty tightly for a _really_ large part of the year, and definitely the whole summer. There are some weekday slots open, maybe in the fall, but I know we really wanted to do the weekend to make sure our out of town guests can make it.”

“Yeah,” Jade nodded in agreement. “And even some of our in-town guests. I guess if we had to do a weekday in the fall, maybe that gives people enough time to plan ahead…”

“I’d really rather do it sooner.”

“Me, too.”

“Okay, then.”

They lapsed into silence again, stuck in the same predicament. They didn’t have a location. It was hard to figure out where to go from there.

“Have you thought about our wedding party?” Tori asked. She figured they could at least try to discuss aspects of the wedding that didn’t quite depend on location.

“A bit, yeah,” Jade nodded. “I mean, I’m gonna want Sam up there with me, for sure. Probably Beck and Cat, too.”

“I was thinking of asking Cat,” Tori revealed, “I mean, I know she’s been your friend for longer, but--”

“I guess if I get Sam, Cat can stand on your side,” Jade conceded. “And Sam makes more sense for me.”

“That’s true,” Tori agreed, “I was also thinking of asking Andre. And then, well. Trina made me _promise_ when I was like, twelve, that I was going to make her my maid of honor.”

“Tori.” A smile spread over Jade’s face for what felt like the first time since they’d sat down to wedding plan that day, “You don’t have to make Trina your maid of honor just because of what you guys said when you were _twelve_.”

“And here I thought you knew Trina by now,” Tori shook her head with a chuckle, “Because she will absolutely hold me to this promise. She keeps _records_ of this stuff. Don’t you remember in high school when she insisted I had to be her _slave_ because of a childhood promise? You know, the _whole reason_ I ended up getting Kesha to show up at my house?”

Jade squinted at the wall behind Tori. “Uhh,” she drawled, “Vaguely?”

“Oh, come on, you do so remember,” Tori huffed, deflating a little.

A hint of a smile played on Jade’s lips as she gazed at Tori, as if considering her answer. Finally, she just said, “I definitely remember scooping ice cream into buckets in your living room because otherwise you wouldn’t let me come see the concert. But I can’t say I was paying enough attention to you to remember exactly _why_ we were doing it. In my mind, it was all about seeing Kesha.” Tori could accept that. Jade had been pretty wrapped up in her relationship with Beck, then, and Tori knew that Jade probably hadn’t been quite as fascinated with Tori at that point, not like Tori had been with her. But then Jade said, “I do, however, remember the concert vividly. _Especially_ dancing next to you. Do you know you used to dance like the _biggest_ nerd?”

Tori’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my god, _what_?”

“Oh, sorry,” Jade shook her head, “I was wrong about that. You _still_ dance like the biggest nerd.”

Tori smoldered at Jade with her best dominant glare, trying to hide her amusement. “Sounds like someone’s trying to earn a spanking.”

Jade’s cheeks turned pink, but then she looked over toward the patio door. “Uh, maybe later, because it looks like we have visitors.”

Tori turned to look as well and saw Carly leading their neighbors across the grass and onto the patio. Sam was carrying something, and Cat simply appeared to be bouncing excitedly, and waved as soon as she noticed Tori and Jade watching them. Tori waved back and gestured for them to come inside.

Carly opened the door for the other two, and Cat skipped in ahead of Sam, “Hi!” Cat greeted, sounding thrilled.

“We come bearing gifts,” Sam intoned solemnly.

Carly came in, shutting the door behind her. “Delicious gifts, specifically.”

“Carly and I made tiramisu!” Cat explained delightedly.

“And insisted we have to share it,” Sam elaborated, sounding reluctant.

“Did you guys eat dinner yet?” Carly asked.

“Not yet,” Tori explained tiredly, “We were trying to do some wedding planning first.”

“Yeah,” Jade agreed, sounding equally drained, “You know. Arguing over who gets who in their half of the wedding party. But mainly trying to find a damn _location_ or this isn’t happening at all.”

“I always thought you two would get married at Hollywood Arts,” Cat replied nonchalantly.

Tori blinked and turned to Jade, who looked skeptical, but not entirely disinterested. “What, like, on the _stairs_?” she asked incredulously.

“No, in the Black Box theater,” Cat explained easily.

Jade looked back at Tori, who was...not put off by the suggestion. “That’s not a bad idea,” Tori admitted.

“Kind of the best idea we’ve had so far,” Jade agreed. “And the Black Box would seat enough for our guests.” They weren’t planning a huge guest list, maybe about fifty people.

“Yay!” Cat applauded, “Maybe now you can eat dinner!”

“Yeah, so we can start on this tiramisu,” Sam prodded, looking significantly toward where she’d placed it on the kitchen island.

“What were you thinking of having for dinner tonight?” Cat asked.

“I was going to make family pot pie,” Tori answered, “It’s never as good as my mom’s, but--”

“Tori, I don’t think Sam will last that long before just tearing into that tiramisu,” Jade cut in, eyes on the other woman, who kept casting helpless glances toward the dessert.

Tori had to admit Jade was probably right, even though Sam mumbled, “No, no, I’ll be fine.” Tori shifted her gaze back to Jade.

“Sandwiches?” she suggested.

“Sandwiches,” Jade nodded in agreement.

“What kind of sandwiches?” Carly asked, “And where do you keep your sandwich fixings?”

“Oh, no,” Tori stood up, “You don’t have to--”

“You guys sounded like you still had some wedding planning to do,” Carly insisted. “And maybe we can help with that. Since it sounds like Cat already has.”

Cat shrugged, looking slightly smug, and then said, “I can show you where Tori keeps the sandwich stuff.”

Tori sat back down, defeated. “There’s lunchmeat and cheese in the fridge. And no, Sam, it’s still not real meat.”

Sam shrugged. “Carly can still make a damn good sandwich out of it. So come on, keep going, you said something about arguing over wedding parties?” She settled into a seat next to Tori.

“Well, I want you,” Jade addressed Sam, “And Tori wants Cat.”

“Yay!” Cat cheered.

“But, um,” Tori gazed at Carly significantly, realizing they were leaving her out. She was as much Sam’s partner as Cat, in practice if not legally. Were they being terrible?

But just as Tori was about to offer Carly a place in her wedding party, Carly glanced up from where she was placing slices of bread on two plates. “Oh, I don’t need to be in your wedding,” she assured them clearly. “Just put me at a table with some cool people.”

Tori realized that another old friend who neither of them had considered for their wedding party would be attending, and stated, “Oh, you could sit with Robbie.”

“Tori, she said _cool people_ ,” Jade snarked.

“Hey, Robbie’s one of my closest friends,” Cat frowned, passing a bottle of mustard to Carly.

“Yeah, and he’s a _nerd_ ,” Sam teased, “But no, he’s a good guy.”

“I’d be fine sitting with Robbie,” Carly said agreeably.

“Okay, so Sam and I are in the wedding party!” Cat sounded thrilled, “Who else?”

“I know I want to ask Beck,” Jade said, “And I think I’ll ask my brother, too.”

Tori brightened, nodding. “That’s a great idea,” she told Jade, then addressed Cat. “I was also going to ask Andre and Trina.” She sighed, “Trina made me _promise_ that she’d be my maid of honor when we were kids, though,” she told Cat regretfully.

Cat shrugged, looking mischievous. “Well. I’m married. So if you wanted to, you could have a maid of honor _and_ a matron of honor.”

“And a best man in Andre,” Jade put in, looking interested.

“You’re right,” Tori nodded, “That’s a great idea. Because I’d really much rather you handle some things instead of Trina,” she told Cat.

“And then I’ll have my best brother, my best man, and my best Sam,” Jade nodded, seeming satisfied.

Tori finally felt like they were getting somewhere as Carly and Cat brought them each a plate with a sandwich one it. Tori took a bite, offering Carly a thumbs up, and received a grin in response as Carly set about cleaning up after herself in the kitchen, while Cat settled into a seat across from Sam.

“Okay,” Jade began, “Now unless you have deep religious beliefs you just _never_ mentioned in as long as I’ve known you,” Jade’s eyes were amused as they met Tori’s, “I’m assuming you don’t really want a super religious ceremony. Also because we didn’t even _consider_ getting married in a church.”

Tori considered claiming to be staunchly Catholic, just to mess with Jade, but there wasn’t really an urge to derail anything, not when it felt like they were finally making some progress. “No, I’m really not interested in any kind of religiosity.”

“So who can we get to officiate, then?” Jade wondered. “Still has to be someone with religious or legal affiliations.”

Tori had an idea for this, but hesitated slightly.

-

“What, Tori?” Jade prompted, “I can tell you’re thinking something.” Jade was relieved. Maybe it was weird to have their friends there to help them plan their wedding, but Jade already felt better about where things were going. Getting married no longer felt so insurmountable. It was ridiculous that it had in the first place; Jade had made a film and Tori had started her own media company, it wasn’t like they didn’t know how to plan big things. But something about planning their wedding made Jade feel like they were being stymied at every turn, and she was glad things seemed to be flipping in their favor.

Still, they wouldn’t make progress if Tori clammed up on her now. Jade took a bite of her (very good) sandwich, maintaining eye contact with Tori, who swallowed a bite of her food and said. “So, I had this thought, but we definitely don’t have to do it if you’re uncomfortable with it,” she trailed off.

Jade waited while Tori took another bite of her food, then said impatiently, “Well, I won’t know if I’m comfortable with it until you tell me what it _is_.”

Tori hesitated only slightly before continuing. “It’s just that I know that Patrice has some kind of religious ordainment from back when some of her friends got married a couple years ago. So she could legally officiate our wedding. If you were okay with that.”

Jade knew that Tori assumed her kneejerk reaction would be a _hell no_ , but Jade was intrigued by the idea. Did she want Tori’s former lover who may have fallen in love with her years ago to marry them? “Yes,” she replied.

Tori did, indeed, look a little surprised at her ready willingness to go along with the idea. “Really?” she asked.

“Why surprised?” Jade asked with faux bafflement.

“Oh, I know this one,” Carly cut in, “Because Tori and Patrice used to fuck. Did I get that right?” She grinned wickedly as she took a seat at the table next to Sam.

Cat broke into a fit of giggles, while Sam casually offered her hand for Carly to slap. “Well played,” she grinned, eyeing Jade, who was pretty sure she looked pretty chagrined at the way her own words came back around, and Tori, who was caught between amusement and impatience.

“Okay, but seriously,” Tori interrupted the laughter at the table, “Carly has a point. I honestly wasn’t sure you’d go for it.”

“Well, I am. I think it’s a great idea to have your friend and former lover Patrice marry us.” Beyond the jab at Tori, which was really just an echo of Carly, Jade wasn’t sure she wanted to explain herself. Because there was definitely something a little sadistic in the thought of asking Patrice to perform this ceremony for them, even though Jade had no reason to think Patrice was anything but happy for them (she’d said as much, and Jade believed her). There was also something masochistic about the idea of letting someone who had been so close to Tori be the one with the power to solemnize their union. In short, the idea was _twisted_ , and Jade was all for it. Better someone they knew, as unusual as the choice might be, than a random minister or county clerk neither of them had a connection to.

“Okay,” Tori nodded agreeably, “Then I guess that settles that.”

“Yep,” Jade agreed, “So you should talk to Patrice, we should both check in with our wedding parties. Uh, I guess I can contact Hollywood Arts. What about a reception location?”

“I figured the Asphalt...oh.”

Jade assumed Tori was remembering the same thing she already had, that alcohol wasn’t allowed on campus whatsoever, even if school was out. It was why the reunion was held off-campus. “Yeah. No alcohol. And certainly no weed.”

Tori thought for a moment as she finished the last bite of her sandwich. Jade didn’t really have any suggestions, and hoped Tori did, because she’d exhausted about all of her options just trying to come up with a wedding location. In a moment, Tori suggested, “What about the old Nozu location? It’s another Gina’s Italian now, and it’s just down the street from Hollywood Arts.”

“Maybe,” Jade said slowly, considering it.

“I don’t think it’s big enough,” Cat cut in. “If it’s anything like the old Nozu, I don’t think they even sat fifty people.”

Tori’s face fell. “I think you’re right about that, Cat.”

“Why not have it here?” Cat suggested.

Tori laughed humorlessly, “No offense, but if the restaurant is too small, I’m not sure why you think our house would be better.”

“Not your house. Our yards.”

And again, Jade found herself exchanging a stunned glance with Tori as they considered a suggestion from Cat. “Our yards,” Tori said slowly.

“That could work,” Sam agreed, as Carly nodded along.

“Yeah,” Cat elaborated, “Our housing lot is bigger than yours and we don’t have a guest house or shed, so our yard is plenty big, even with the garden. The tables and stuff could be set up on that side, and then the catering spread could happen on your side under the patio.”

Jade frowned. “Does this mean I have to let people use my bathroom in the guest house?”

“Do you even _use_ that bathroom?” Sam asked.

“Oh, she does,” Tori laughed, “About once a day, every morning.”

“Okay, we _really_ don’t need to discuss it,” Jade insisted, feeling her face get warm.

“No, I get it,” Cat said simply, “Part of the reason Sam and I were able to live together for so long was that second bathroom in the apartment, the one we mostly used for babysitting kids. We shared the master bathroom for everything else except--”

“They get the picture, babe,” Sam cut in, looking a bit embarrassed herself.

“Anyway, the guest house bathroom might be the most convenient, but we can maybe open up access to one of our bathrooms if needed,” Cat suggested, glancing at Carly for confirmation, who shrugged and nodded. “How does it sound to you guys?”

“How are you so _good_ at this?” Jade asked archly, scrutinizing Cat next to her.

It was Sam who answered, “I told you. Because we didn’t have a wedding, she’s been _so_ excited about yours, she’s practically already planned it.”

“What _else_ have you planned for us?” Tori asked in awe.

“Sam’s exaggerating,” Cat shot her wife a playful glare, “I haven’t planned your wedding. I just had some thoughts about the location, that’s all.”

“She and Sam _might_ have some ideas about the bachelorette parties, though,” Carly revealed slyly.

“Like _what_?” Tori pushed.

“No strippers,” Jade said immediately, eyeing Sam warningly, whose smirk only deepened at Jade’s decree.

“Don’t worry about it,” Cat deflected, “Besides, it sounds like I might have to talk to Trina about anything we might do, anyway.”

“Wait,” Tori was looking at Jade again, “Do we even _want_ separate bachelorette parties? We have a lot of the same friends. It would feel weird if, say, I had one with Cat and you had one with Sam.”

“Sam and I don’t _always_ have to be together,” Cat said reasonably.

But that wasn’t what Jade was worried about as she considered Tori’s question. “I don’t think we need separate parties. That whole dumb tradition is about some mythical ‘last night of fun’ with your friends before you’re boring and married. But it’s not like we’re planning to never see our friends after we get married. Or be boring.”

“ _Definitely_ not,” Tori agreed.

“Honestly marriage doesn’t change that much,” Sam said casually. But she must’ve realized how that sounded, because she amended quickly, “I mean, it’s great for the peace of mind, in case anything bad should happen. And it _is_ special, like, you feel a little different. But it’s not like Cat and I stopped living the same lives after we got married.”

“Yeah, to the point that you never even _told_ us you were married,” Jade narrowed her eyes at Sam, though it wasn’t a serious point of contention, now or ever. She knew that Sam had reasons for playing things close to the vest, both with her marriage and her relationship with Carly. Those were bigger, more personal things than any sexual adventure or photo of breasts Jade had been privy to. Jade could remember in college being uncertain about the status of Sam and Cat’s relationship when it was clear Sam was seeking attention elsewhere, and not being sure how to talk about it. With Sam, when emotional stakes were on the line, she clearly spent a lot of time working through things with her partners before sharing with anyone else.

Jade wondered, then, about her relationship with Carly. Was it at all difficult for Carly, being the partner left out of the marriage? She wondered if they were going to have some kind of ceremony to recognize Sam and Carly’s relationship, or the way all three of them functioned as a unit. Some cities, including Los Angeles, had begun recognizing marriage-like legal protections for people with more than one partner. If they were considering such a move, though, Jade figured she wouldn’t hear about it until it was entirely planned, or maybe had already happened.

Tori steered them back to their own wedding. “I’ll talk to Mrs. Lee about catering, if that’s okay with you.”

Mrs. Lee was probably the obvious choice, but Jade was fine with it. There was a reason she’d been a successful restaurateur for over a decade: no matter what kind of cuisine she shifted to, it was always good. “Mrs. Lee sounds great.”

“I think we made a lot of great progress today,” Tori smiled at her, dark eyes full of approval. “Maybe we can actually set a date once you talk to Hollywood Arts.”

“Think Sikowitz is still in charge of events coordination?” Jade chuckled. The idea of talking to him sounded much easier than trying to get in touch with school administrators. “But yeah, I agree. I’m glad you guys were here to help,” she gestured at their friends.

“Does this mean we can _finally_ eat the tiramisu?” Sam groaned.

Jade laughed, stacking Tori’s empty plate on top of hers and taking them to the dishwasher. “Yeah, let’s have dessert.”

A few days later, Jade came back home from a day of taking engagement photos for a couple (which just made her consider the fact that she didn’t know who she might trust enough to take photos at her own wedding) and scouting some locations in the city. She came in through the front door of the house, wanting to check in with Tori before she put her camera gear away.

Tori wasn’t in the front of the house, so Jade called out for her, “Tori?”

“Back here!” Tori called back.

Jade was torn between dropping off her camera gear first or heading back to the bedroom, but Tori solved that for her by striding down the hall to the bedroom toward her.

Jade stared. Because Tori was wearing _a dress_. Maybe not quite as cute as the cocktail dress she’d worn when they’d enacted her fantasy, but _definitely_ more feminine than she tended to dress, generally.

“Uhh,” Jade uttered, staring. “Big plans?”

“Yeah, we’re going to meet our moms for dinner at Palatial Pastas,” Tori replied. “Figured I’d dress up, since we’re going to be talking about the wedding.”

Now that they’d talked to their wedding party, that they had locations, and that Jade had a list of potential dates they could choose from to get married at Hollywood Arts (which did occasionally get rented out by students over the summer to work on theater or film projects, but was largely pretty open), it was time to make some things official, and their moms were eager to help with that. But, _still_...Jade eyed Tori’s outfit, wondering if she was missing something. “Then I guess I’ll put my gear away and get dressed myself.”

“If you want,” Tori ran her eyes over Jade’s casual outfit, “You don’t have to dress up if you don’t want to.”

“Okay, if you’re dressing up, I’m dressing up,” Jade said decisively. She hesitated, “Unless…”

“Unless what?” Tori asked, digging around in her purse, as if checking to be sure she had everything.

“Unless...this is really about you wanting my strap-on?” Jade ventured.

Tori’s dark eyes were warm with amusement, but her tone was purposeful. “We’re going to dinner with _our mothers_.”

“Okay,” Jade nodded, “I’ll be right back.” But by the patio door, she paused. “This is _really_ about dinner and not sex?”

“ _Yes_ , Jade,” Tori chuckled. “Play your cards right, though, and _maybe_ it can be about more later.”

That was good enough for Jade. “Okay, I’m going to get ready really quick, then.”

She decided to stay in pants, in keeping with the slightly gendered theme of strap-on sex with housewife Tori. Just in case.

-

It turned out, though, that getting bent over and fucked wasn’t particularly on Tori's mind during dinner with their mothers. Instead, there was a lot of rehashed conversation about venues and wedding dates, with Tori filling her mother and Tiffany in on the plan to have the wedding at Hollywood Arts and the reception in the conjoined backyards.

"You're sure you want to have your wedding in that tiny space?" Holly asked. She'd been supportive of everything Tori had explained, but she still seemed uncertain of the chosen venue.

"We aren't planning on a ton of people, Mom," Tori reminded her.

"It just seems a little drab for a wedding," Holly countered.

"It's a theater!" Tiffany exclaimed. "It can become whatever they want it to be." She offered a wide flourish of the arms, causing Jade to lean away so she'd be out of reach.

"Okay, that might need to be your last glass of wine," Jade said.

"I didn't drive here." But Tiffany pushed the wine glass aside and opted for the one full of ice water.

Holly moved past the idea of the black box, apparently accepting it. "You'll probably need to talk to the neighbors about the noise level for the reception."

"I was hoping Dad could help out with that," Tori admitted. As a former police officer, he knew how to approach people about ordinances, and his shift in careers made him more approachable. Not that he wasn't always an affable kind of guy. It had always been a little difficult for Tori to imagine him being overly aggressive with someone and she'd been relieved when he'd retired from the LAPD to start his security business. Which...she realized that still meant he probably had to flex his power now and again, but it just seemed...nicer.

"Oh, who's taking your photos at the wedding?" inquired Tiffany.

Jade groaned. "I hate thinking about this."

Tori put a hand on Jade's thigh. This was a contentious point because who was possibly going to meet Jade's standards? "We don't have to decide tonight."

"Can we not talk about wedding stuff for now?" Jade prompted.

Tiffany looked a bit disappointed, but Holly perked up. "Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you about, Tori."

This was a lead-in Tori wasn't expecting and was so broad that she had no idea what to anticipate. "Okay..."

Holly sipped her iced tea, then continued. "Our last book for the club had some particular themes that some of the gals are curious about."

Jade scoffed. "Yeah, I heard a little about that."

Tori squeezed Jade's leg under the table. "Oh?" she replied, waiting for further explanation from her mother. Though, given the nature of the book club, she maybe already had an idea.

"It had something of a BDSM plot to it," said Holly. "I was wondering if you might want to come to the next meeting and do a Q and A."

Tori was about to reply that she'd be happy to do exactly that, but Jade shifted and groaned. "What?" asked Tori. "That's literally what I do for a living."

"Yeah, but not for our moms. I mean, why not just invite the entire group over to the Fungeon for an afternoon."

"Oh my god," Tiffany said. "I would love that."

"You would, wouldn't you?" Jade replied.

Tori exchanged a glance with her mom. Would that be weird? Or would it be perfectly natural for her to walk a half-dozen of her mother's friends (plus her own mother and future mother-in-law) through a Kink 101 workshop? "It would all still be pretty basic. And it's not the same as if I were with a client."

"I don't even need to think about the fact that you have clients," said Holly. "But I will be honest and admit I've been very curious about the work that you do. Or...the basic parts of it."

Tori didn't know if there should be more of a clear boundary between her work life as a pro-domme and what her mother knew about it, but she didn't see any harm in allowing some insight into the educational part of the job. "I think it would be fun. And I'm always an advocate for anyone knowing more about sex education, no matter their age."

"I think she's saying we're old," suggested Tiffany.

Tori was about to protest, but her mother laughed, heartily. In that moment, she was grateful for the relationship she had with her and for the fact that Jade and Tiffany had clearly grown closer over the years.

Overall, it was a good dinner, both because it was delicious (there really was something fulfilling about a trip to Palatial Pastas) and because Tori felt they accomplished a lot, particularly the part where they settled on a date in late June when the school would be available, the weather would be perfect for an outdoor evening reception.

As the dinner wrapped up and they headed home, it was as if Tori could tell that the weight of the reality of their wedding was starting to really settle on Jade. Tori could understand it; the details were starting to come together, it was starting to feel _real_ , instead of a decade-old dream conceived by two young people who had no idea what the world held in store for them.

While Tori’s reaction was one of excitement, Jade’s reaction seemed to be more anxious. It made sense; they were related responses, two sides to the same coin, and Tori knew that although Jade was ultimately pretty good at accepting change, anticipating it was often more difficult than adapting to it. With the way Tori could practically _feel_ the anxiety rolling off of Jade as they drove home, she wondered if sex was something Jade was even in the mood for, after all.

“How are you doing?” she asked Jade, trying to assess her feelings.

“Fine,” Jade replied, tone clipped.

“You don’t _sound_ fine.” Tori wasn’t sure if she should push, or if maybe this was something Jade would want to deal with on her own, but she paid attention to her instinct to follow up rather than pretend to believe Jade.

Jade sighed heavily, “What do you want me to say?”

“I just want you to be honest with me.”

Jade was quiet for a moment, until she finally spoke in a harsh tone, “I’m _not_ getting cold feet.”

“I didn’t say that you were,” Tori frowned. Jade was being difficult to read right now, and now that it had been brought up, a tiny part of Tori worried that she was trying to cover _exactly_ what she’d just denied.

But Jade elaborated, “It’s just... _a lot_. There’s still so much to do, and there’s so much pressure about it all, and I just...sometimes I just want to be _married_ to you already, without all of this stress and craziness.”

“Do you not want a wedding?”

“No, I do,” Jade slumped back into her seat. “It’s like, it _is_ important to me to be able to stand in front of all our friends and commit to you. I couldn’t do what Sam and Cat did, I’ve always wanted a wedding.” Well, there was Tori’s answer, even if it didn’t contain any details about the kinds of weddings Jade had pictured for herself throughout her life. “I just wish it could all be planned and ready and just that it could be _time_ already.”

Tori was starting to feel as though they’d really handled a lot of the planning, but it seemed that what was left had Jade overwhelmed. It probably had less to do with what work actually remained and more to do with Jade’s state of mind. “What would make you feel better?” Tori asked.

She wondered if she should repeat the question with how long the silence stretched in the car. But then, she heard Jade say in a small voice, “Spank me.”

Tori smirked, “I thought you liked to _earn_ those,” she teased.

“Spank me, you bitch,” Jade deadpanned.

 _Well_. That was all the inspiration Tori needed.

Instead of strap-on sex, Tori was happy to step into her domme role, and let Jade choose how many strikes she wanted with the leather paddle, and then Tori offered to switch to their leather slapper, and Jade choose a number for that. She could almost _feel_ the way Jade’s turmoil was purged from her body with each strike, each exhale, each cry. How different it felt from the times the spankings were about the joy of their connection, how much a session like this was about Jade existing in her head, processing the root of her anxiety with the catharsis of physical sensation. But as they moved through the strikes with the slapper, Tori began to feel the shift, the way Jade seemed to awaken to her presence, seemed to welcome her in, and she felt the connection bloom between them as Jade’s anxiety slowly shifted to pleasure and arousal.

By the time Tori offered the wooden paddle, which Jade only wanted a few strikes from, Jade seemed fully transformed.

When it was over, Jade allowed herself to be guided onto the bed and held, and Tori figured that coffee would be next, followed by Tori applying her lotion blend to Jade’s reddened ass. She was a little surprised when Jade rolled Tori onto her back and kissed her, hard, and Tori felt hands trailing up her legs, pulling down her panties.

Jade dropped the panties over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. “Touch me,” she murmured against Tori’s lips.

“You’re sure that’s what you want?” Tori asked.

“Yes. Want you on my thigh. Your fingers inside me,” Jade whispered, rolling onto her back and taking Tori with her.

They kissed for a long time before either of those things happened. Tori still wore her dress, and Jade was already naked from the waist down for her spanking, but they both seemed to being enjoying the slow, gentle kisses, the way it felt for Tori to press her body against Jade’s, the affection a reassurance, a reestablishing of their connection in the absence of the power dynamics of impact play. When Tori resituated herself, straddling Jade’s thigh, she watched her face as her fingers slid down Jade’s body to find wetness between her legs, and she sighed in pleasure.

They made love slowly and gently, Tori building them both up gradually, the two of them gazing into each other’s eyes as they moved together. And Tori knew that Jade was feeling better when she whispered, “I can’t wait to marry you,” between kisses.

Tori took that as her cue to increase the pace of their lovemaking, igniting the eagerness between them, “I can’t wait to love you for the rest of my life,” she whispered back.

-

Jade had a couple of hours free between gigs one afternoon during the week leading up to Valentine’s Day, and since she was closer to her mom’s house, she decided to drop by. She was maybe feeling pretty grateful for her family, for her mom who had been so supportive of her wedding and happy to help, and her brother who had seemed honestly touched to be asked to be in her wedding party. Yeah, okay, she was feeling pretty happy about her family in general, and kind of wanted to actually see her brother, since they’d only communicated about the wedding party over text. When her mom informed her that he was home, Jade felt it was the perfect chance to stop and see them both.

When Jade came to the house, her mother let her in the gate and greeted her with a big hug, even though they’d just had dinner the other night. Jade allowed it. Maybe all this wedding planning was making her sentimental. Maybe she was just getting older. Whatever the case, Jade was genuinely smiling as her mom ushered her into the house.

Inside, she found Jeremy at the stove in the kitchen, clumsily flipping something in a pan. “Uh, hey,” Jade greeted, “What are you up to?”

“Making grilled cheese sandwiches,” he said proudly, “Do you want one?”

Jade had been planning to grab some lunch on her way out to her next job, but she was willing to be the guinea pig, “Sure, sounds good.” How badly could someone really mess up grilled cheese?

It turned out that Jeremy actually did okay. He’d made three sandwiches, one for each of them, and took the sandwich that was the most burnt for himself. Jade’s was much lighter on one side than the other, and it must’ve shifted when he flipped it because some cheese was exposed on one side and cooked on the pan, but overall, it was fine.

They all sat to eat together, Tiffany praising Jeremy for being willing to try things in the kitchen. Jade wasn’t willing to be quite as effusive with her praise, but she let him know she thought it was cool that he was trying, though she also warned him not to get _too_ good, or Trina would kick him off their show.

Most of the rest of the conversation was Jade talking to Jeremy about the wedding party, letting him know that Beck and Sam would be the people he’d have to talk to about anything, that Sam was down to wear whatever kind of suit he and Beck thought looked good. All this happened while Tiffany made affectionate sounds in the background, hand to her chest, clearly moved by her children bonding with each other. Jade couldn’t even roll her eyes about it, because she was actually having a good time with her family. It wasn’t as thought this was entirely new, but it was nice to not feel so self-conscious about it.

The weird part came, however, when lunch was over and Jade was trying to decide how early she wanted to show up to her next job..

“Oh,” Jeremy said, “I just remembered, I gave Morgan your email and your Splashface information, I hope that’s cool.”

“What?” Jade honestly couldn’t think of anyone she knew named Morgan.

“You know,” Jeremy prompted, “Our sister.”

“Oh,” Jade uttered, barely any breath behind it. The name came back to her then, but as more of an afterthought, a vague memory, one she knew she never would have connected to a person without prompting from her brother. She’d cut her father off when his wife (she’d never had enough of a relationship with her to even use the term stepmother) was pregnant and though she knew she must’ve heard a few things when her half-sister was born, she hadn’t wanted to hear more. It seemed that, for the most part, her mom and her brother had been willing to keep that door closed for her.

Until now, when Jeremy evidently gave this _Morgan_ , this “sister” Jade had never met, ways to contact her.

“ _Why_ , exactly, did you give her my information?”

“Uh, because she asked?” Jeremy frowned.

“And you didn’t think that maybe you should ask me whether or not it’s okay to give my email address to a virtual stranger?”

“Not really,” Jeremy continued to look baffled, “She was working on some school project about family history and wanted to know more about you.”

“How old even _is_ she?” Jade knew she could do the math, but she was too annoyed for it.

“Almost sixteen. Look, you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to. I just thought it might be nice for you guys to finally get to know each other. Morgan’s not Dad, Jade. She’s actually pretty cool.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Jade growled, “If I even ever talk to her.”

“Honey, I think you should do it,” Tiffany encouraged, “She’s still your sister.”

“Sure. Right.” Even though it was probably an overreaction, Jade was extremely irritated with the whole situation, to the point that it felt safer just to leave. “My sister who I’ve never spoken to. Yeah, that’s a family unit right there.” She stood up, gathering her purse, “I have to go work. I’ll talk to you later.”

She already regretted her response by the time she made it to her car, but she couldn’t exactly turn back now. At least she’d have time to stop for coffee before her next job.

When she stopped for coffee, she texted both her mom and her brother, apologizing for storming out, and explaining she was just caught off guard, and assuring them both that she would consider talking to Morgan if she heard from her. She was at least old enough now to recognize when some of her big reactions were about her own guilt and insecurity and not really about other people.

And when it came to anything having to do with her father, and, evidently, the reminder that she had a half-sister she’d more or less forgotten about, Jade had guilt and insecurity in spades.

-

On Valentine’s Day, Tori had a couple of sessions in the earlier half of the day, but she’d kept her schedule cleared for the later afternoon and evening, anticipating when she'd set up her appointments that she and Jade would have some kind of plans. Except they hadn't really made any. Maybe it was the weight of their last celebration of the holiday and the fact that it had led to the complete disintegration of their relationship. Or...well...it had been the final death rattle of it, anyway. Tori could see that clearly now, a decade later.

When she arrived home, Jade's truck was parked in the driveway, meaning she was home from the engagement session she'd booked to shoot earlier that day. But when Tori entered the house, Jade wasn't anywhere to be found, so she planned to check to see if she was working in the guest house, likely reviewing her shots from the day. Instead, Tori found Jade standing on a plastic crate (there were a couple of them stacked next to the shed, leftovers from the plants their friends had bought for their garden that Jade had claimed for herself to organized her film gear), peering over the wall that separated their yard from Sam, Cat, and Carly's.

Making an effort to walk loudly enough not to startle Jade upon her approach, Tori sidled up to Jade. "What's up?" Immediately, Jade shushed her. Tori lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "Why are we being quiet?"

"I'm spying."

"That's obvious." Tori grabbed another one of the crates and elevated herself to Jade's level. "But why?"

"I'm nosy."

"Again. Obvious."

It was late afternoon and the winter sun was already dipping in the sky. It wasn't dark by any means, but there were lights on in the house across the yard that made it easier to see through the wide sliding glass doors that looked into the living room.

Jade squinted as she peered at the house. "Do you think they're having sex?"

"That's what you're doing? Peeping on our friends?"

"No," was Jade's quick reply. "Kind of. I got up here at first to think about how the reception setup would look. But then I was thinking about how it's Valentine's Day."

"And that left you wondering if our neighbors were having kinky three-way sex?"

"Don't tell me you're not wondering about it."

"Well, I am now."

"Hi, guys!" came a cheerful voice from somewhere in the corner of the yard on the other side of the wall. Carly appeared, pulling a pair of garden gloves off her hands.

Tori felt her ears warm in a way that hadn't happened to her since high school, probably when she sat down across from her family kitchen table to talk to Patrice. "Hey," she said, weakly. She shot Jade a glance, knowing they were both wondering if Carly had heard them. They hadn't been speaking that loudly.

Carly dropped the gloves and a couple of small garden tools into a bucket. "You two have big plans for tonight?"

"Uh," Jade shrugged. "I think we're just looking forward to a cozy night in."

Even though they hadn't really talked about it, Tori thought that sounded like a great plan. "Yeah, I was just about to ask what you wanted to order for dinner."

"That's so sweet!" Carly grinned at them. Then she grabbed what looked like a broom handle and pushed the weathervane sculpture to point toward the east. "Have a good night," she said, a smirk playing on her lips before she turned around and casually bounded toward the house.

Jade's eyes were wide as she looked to Tori. "I knew it."

"That doesn't mean they're all doing it together."

"Doesn't mean they're not all doing it together, either."

"How about we go inside and worry about what we're doing together?"

There was a light sigh from her partner, but they both stepped down from their crates and walked, hand in hand, into their own house. They spent the evening eating takeout and cuddling on the couch while they watched a movie. In light of everything, of their past that could have tainted a day like this one, of their present that had opened so many doors to possibility, just spending Valentine's Day half-watching marginally terrible Lifemark romantic comedies while they snuggled and made out under a blanket was kind of perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Heartbeat Song_ by Kelly Clarkson.
> 
> **Next time on Tori Vega is a Kinky Top Who Drives a Subaru:**
> 
> “Wait,” Astra started, “You really read _You Cook It, I Eat It_ fanfiction?” She sounded astonished.
> 
> “Sure,” Sam shrugged, “I read anything. There’s fanfiction about _everything_.”
> 
> “Oh, I’m well aware,” Astra assured her, “You know, I used to write some for, um, NerdWolf.”
> 
> “I probably read it, what were some titles?” Sam asked eagerly.
> 
> “I really don’t want to know,” Tori drawled from the front seat. She glanced at the rearview mirror. “Um, no offense, Astra, I’m sure your work was good.”
> 
> “I haven’t read it in a long time, so it probably wasn’t,” Astra replied easily.
> 
> “Still curious over here,” Sam murmured, “Send me a link,” she stage whispered.
> 
> “Me, too,” Jade hissed.
> 
> “Jade!” Tori shot her a mock frown.
> 
> “What? You don’t have to read it,” Jade smirked.
> 
> “Sometimes I wish someone had written fanfiction about me,” Cat frowned. “I’m one of the only ones here who no one has written about.”
> 
> “Well,” Astra drawled, “I’ll just say that I used to write _bad_ self-insert fanfiction for _Bite Me University_ , so...yeah, you might be the only one.” She glanced significantly at Jade and Sam, “Just...don’t read any of that,” she warned.
> 
> “Oh, my god, you watched that, too?” Jade asked. “Cat and I were obsessed.”
> 
> “Who wasn’t?” Astra challenged.


End file.
